00:01 Santa :
Hey, Santa Claus! Santa has presents for everybody!
00 :08 Child :
Hi, Santa!
00 :09 Narrator :
It's just a few days before Christmas. But the excitement in this room is not just about Santa and presents under the tree - it's a reunion of families who adopted children from Russia. In a way I feel these are my children: I am an adoption coordinator and I myself come from Russia.
00 :35 Narrator :
These children remind me of a Russian saying "Roditca v rubashke" - that they were born wearing a lucky shirt.
00 :47 Narrator :
For some of the younger ones the harsh memories of their lives before adoption still linger, but they will soon fade away. Like most international adoptees they'll go through their live without even a single picture of themselves before adoption. It is as if they were born the day they were adopted.
01 :09 Narrator :
At this age it does not bother them. But as they grow up, I wonder, how many will embark on a desperate search for their roots and birth relatives?
01 :20 Narrator :
Kira's story started three years ago during the coldest winter Russia had known in fifty years….
-------------------------------
TITLE: from Russia, for Love
--------------------------------------
01 :44 Narrator :
The road from Moscow to Pereslavl, a typical small Russian town, takes two hours. For Claire and Gary Conrad this is the last two hours of their long adoption journey. Gary and Claire are not new to adoption. Ten years ago, they adopted twin sisters in Canada. This time they've turned to an orphanage in Russia.
02:07 Claire:
The reason we decided to adopt a child from Russia was an article that we read in a newspaper in June and it really-really touched our hearts when we read about all the orphans that were in the different orphanages throughout the country. 02:22
02:23 Claire:
We would like to enrich the life of a child and we have really both means financially as well as the love in our hearts to take another child.02:32
02:33Narrator:
The Conrads live in Abbotsford, British Columbia.
02:40 Narrator:
Their future daughter, along with 40 other children, lives at the orphanage in Pereslavl, Russia.
02:56 Narrator:
There are no newborns or toddlers in the orphanage, only older children. With every passing day a child's chances of being adopted fade. Adoptive parents often fear that an older child will never bond with them because the memories cling to the child like a birthmark. (03:17)
03:43 Claire:
We got Olga's medical and really it did not scare us because the major point on it was that she has been exposed to tuberculosis and she was in an orphanage for children with lung problems. 03:58
04 :03 Narrator :
Shortly after Claire and Gary started their procedures to adopt Olga, I met another family that lives just 20 minutes drive away from Claire and Gary.
04 :13 John and Francine Neels have five biological children and were thinking of adopting an older girl from Russia.
04 :21 Like many living in the area they are a close-knit Christian family of Dutch origin.
04:28 Francine:
When we first had to make our request, we asked for a little girl between the age of four and seven and we were or at least I was sort of thinking that this would probably be a quiet, shy, subdued little girl that would stay in the corner and not say too much,
04:47 but when they came along with the proposal it turned out that this little girl that we probably gonna be getting is the exact opposite to what I expected to be getting:
04:58 I think she is probably anything but shy and she certainly is not subdued. She is actually a leader and that is why they want her to come to our family because they thought that if she went to the family where she would be the oldest or the only child she would run the show.
05:20 Claire:
In a perfect world when we arrive at the orphanage I'd love her to run towards me with her arms open and I'd swoop up my arms and give her a big kiss and a hug, but I'm afraid that probably she will be very nervous and shy and it will not be like that at all. So we just have to wait and see. (05:41)
05:44 Claire:
I don't want her to forget her Russian heritage by any means so we'll keep Olga as her middle name, and we are going to give her a different name - Kira – as her first name but that's a Russian name as well. (05:57)
05:58 I did not want the children at school to tease her in any way. And therefore, I want to make a very smooth transition into Canada for her. (06:06)
06:09 Francine:
Well, of course we gonna keep her name. I mean, just think about it! It’s really the only thing that the child has. She does not have parents, she has no home, no family, she has to give up her last name, so definitely we will keep her first name no matter what it is.
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07:04 Orphanage Director subtitle:
This is Olga.
07:08 Orphanage Director subtitle:
This is your mother and father.
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07:43 Claire:
Before we went to Russia we knew a lot of information about Olga. We knew that she was one of ten children, she was the second youngest. We knew that the children had been deserted or left by their mother. She has gone off to start a new life with a new man and left the children with the father.
08:05 The father died of tuberculosis and the children were separated. And then three of them went to a town called Pereslavl and went to the same orphanage for children with lung deseases.
08:18 So the family was really split up. (08:20)
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08:29 Orphanage Director subtitle:
This is your mother and this is your father (08:33)
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08:44 Francine:
Lera was born to a young single mother and was left by her at the hospital when she was born. Therefore, she spent all her life in the orphanage up until now.(08:54)
O8:55 Russian speech:
You look like the mother.(08:59)
09:03 Francine:
The fact that Lera has been at the orphanage all her life, though it is sad in some ways, it does means that she has been speared a lot of sadness, a lot of worry and trouble and neglect, maybe abuse, like a lot of children do suffer and eventually also end up in the orphanage some with TB (tuberculosis) and with a lot of sad memories. (09:25)
09:39 Interpreter:
We can not waste time for emotions, Evguenia says, but for all these papers to be processed. (09:44)
09:47 Narrator:
Of course, Olga and Lera have little understanding of what a huge change is about to happen in their lives.
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subtitles:
09: 54:10 Julia:
What language do they speak in Canada?
09:57:16 Kira, Lera:
English.
09:59:05 Julia:
Who here speaks English?
10:01:05 Kira:
I do. A little.
10:02:19 Julia:
What do you know?
10:04:25 Kira:
Only about animals.
10:06:25 Julia:
Tell me what you know.
10:09:15 Kira:
Dog…Apple….
10:13:13 Julia:
Will you have friends there?
19:15:23 Lera:
Yes.
10:17:04 Julia:
What language will you speak with them?
10:19:13 Lera:
Russian.
10:22:07 Julia:
Will they be able to understand you?
10:28:05 Lera:
I will use sign language.
10:36:09 Lera:
What?
10:42:28 Lera:
I will teach them Russian.
10:45:09 Julia:
Do other children at the orphanage want to be adopted?
10:52:18 Lera:
Children from our group do .
10:55:18 Julia:
Why?
10:57:23 Lera:
Because it is warm and there is no snow there.
11:04:27 Julia:
And what if there is snow?
11:07:09 Lera:
Then they don’t want to go.
11:09:22 Julia:
How many brothers and sisters do you have?
11:12:28 Kira:
There are ten of us.
11:14:26 Kira:
They are in another orphanage.
11:18:07 Kira:
I have two brothers here.
(end of subtitles)
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11:27 Narrator:
That’s when I learned that the boy behind the glass door was Olga's brother, Dmitri.
11:38 Narrator:
The next day the Conrads and the Neels went to court for the required approval of the adoption. Usually it is a formality, but Olga could have chosen to stay in Russia and not to leave her brothers. (11:52)
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subtitles:
11:52:18 Julia:
Will you tell the judge you won’t go without your brothers?
12:04:16 Kira:
No. I won’t say that.
12:06:28 Kira:
When I grow up, I will come get them.
(End of subtitles)
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12:12: Interpreter:
That’s a clause that this judge took your case. (12:16)
12:22 Court employeer:
Please stand up!
------------------------------
12:24 Narrator:
The parents will take on the life long commitment of adoption and all the complications that come with it after having spent only an hour with the girls.
12:37 Once the judge makes a decision, there is no backing out for the parents.
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subtitles:
12:45:00 Julia
Why did they choose you, not some other girl?
12:51:19 Lera:
Because I look like the mother.
12:57:00 Julia:
Do you think you’re a special girl?
12:59:29: Julia:
Are you special or not?
13:04:08 Lera:
Not special.
13:07:16 Julia:
Do you know that you will have a new name?
13:10:11 Kira:
Yes.
13:12:08 Julia:
What name ?
13:13:21 Kira:
I don’t remember.
13:16:16 Julia:
Your name will be Kira. Do you like it?
13:19:17 Kira:
Yes.
13:22:27 Julia:
Is it OK that your name is changed?
13:29:27 Kira:
Yes.
13:35:28 Julia:
Whom do you love most of all in the world?
13:48:00 Julia
Do you love somebody?
13:50:05 Lera:
Yes.
13:52:18 Lera:
Svetlana Vladimirovna.
13:57:07 Julia:
Who is she?
13:59:01 Lera
The caregiver.
(end of subtitles)
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14:06 Interpreter:
It’s for you!
14:08 Interpreter:
Do you like it?
14:11 Narrator:
Funally, the day of departure.
14:14 Narrator:
Yet none of us expected what the day would bring.
14:25:00 Claire
Shall we go back, to the another room?
14:27:10 Julia:
Yes… Claire, are you aquainted? (14:30:02)
14:30:10 Claire:
No.
14:31:00 Julia:
This is her brother.
14:33:20 Claire:
Hi.
14:34:04 Claire:
How old is he?
14:35:25 Julia:
Twelve.
14:47:10 Claire:
Does she have three brothers here?
14:49:00 Julia
No, just two.
14:51:10 Claire
But one is away?
14:53:13 Julia:
Yes, he is in Crimea for a year.
15:47 Claire:
15:47 It was the most difficult thing we ever did in our lives was to leave him there.(15:51)
15:52 But the saddest part was he recognized there was no hope for him. Nobody wanted him, he was too old. (16:00)
16:08 There was really nothing we could do because even if we could have taken him, he did not have a passport, he did not have papers needed to come to Canada. So we could not take him. (16:18)
17:32 Narrator:
With Kira gone forever, Dmitri was left alone. (17:36)
17:41 His brother Sergei was away till summer and though he has other relatives, they are not part of his life. (17:48)
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subtitles:
17:49:02 Dimitri:
Yana is in a health camp.
17:53:03 Dimitri:
Julya has married and lives her own life.
17:57:17 Dimitri:
Gosha and Vitia are in a residential school.
18:06:12 Dimitri:
Vova also was there.
18:08:13 Dimitri:
But now he lives with our mother.
18:14:10 Julia:
What about your sister Tatiana?
18:17:16 Dimitri
She was…
18:21:11 Dimitri:
Tanya was adopted from a nursery.
(end of subtitles)
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18:25 Narrator:
But what is the future for Dmitri and his friends? To get an answer, I met will Nadezhda Ivanova, the director of the Centre for Post-Orphanage Studies.
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subtitles:
18:38:06 Nadezhda Ivanova:
The orphanage controls the child’s life around the clock,
18:42:21 Nadezhda Ivanova:
so the child never learns to make decisions.
18:47:15 Nadezhda Ivanova:
The orphan comes to depend on the guiding hand of the State.
18:51:15 Nadezhda Ivanova:
That is why the toughest moment for the child…
18:54:06 Nadezhda Ivanova:
is when he leaves the orphanage.
18:58:20 Nadezhda Ivanova:
When the door shuts behind him,
no control, no support is left.
19:03:21 Nadezhda Ivanova:
He is alone in the world.
19:07:18 Dimitri:
I want to be an adult.
19:09:21 Julia:
Why?
19:11:12 Dimitri:
I don’t know. I just want to grow up faster.
19:15:25 Julia:
What will you do then?
19:18:17 Dimitri:
I will work.
19:25:11 Dimitri:
If I grow up I’ll become a policeman.
19:29:15 Dimitri:
I’ll be paid for my work and will live … well.
(end of subtitles)
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19:33 Narrator:
But will he? For an orphan the chances of becoming a criminal are much higher than being a policeman. Orphans are as helpless as blind kittens when they enter the adult world. (19:47)
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subtitles:
19:50:03 Nadezhda Ivanova:
The statistics on former orphans are very sad.
19:54:18 Nadezhda Ivanova:
One in three ends up on the streets.
19:57:23 Nadezhda Ivanova:
One in five goes to prison.
20:01:22 Nadezhda Ivanova:
One in ten commits suicide.
(end of subtitles)
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20 :48 Narrator :
Eight months later, in Canada, both girls have already forgotten how to speak Russian.
20 :56 Kira’s parents say that she has effortlessly adapted to her new family.
21 :05 However, Lera’s adjustment has not been as easy. For her it will be harder to turn the page.
21:15 Francine:
The evening before we went to court we were having dinner at a restaurant in the little village of Pereslavl, and that's when our coordinator told us that "Oh, there is something you should know:
21:28 Lera has not been at the orphanage since birth, but has been with her mother since she was born until she was four years old. And then she was taken away from her mother and placed in an orphanage."
21:40 That actually kind of shocked me, to be really honest, when she said that, because I thought “Well, this leaves us now with whole new set of unknown things." I mean, maybe the child was abused, you don't know what sort of parents she had or what happened to her parents. It was just a little bit scary. (1:57)
22:03 Emmy:
Lera, come!
Don't pull her mouth.
22:08 Francine:
The first while was very difficult for her. In the first place, obviously, the language barrier was a real problem because she was very frustrated not being able to express herself at all. She could not talk to us we could not talk to her.
22:22:She was very angry and bitter and she acted that out quite often. (22:28)
(written on the cake)
22:44“Happy Eighth Birthday; Lara.”
22:48 John:
Have a wonderful eighth, your first on in Canada. Lots of love from your big sister Emmy.
22:53 Lera:
Emmy! Good.
22:58 Lera:
Oh, mother, computer game! Cool! Open it.
23:03 Francine:
She is very sincere and very loyal. And we noticed that, especially at the beginning, she had a real problem giving herself to us because she felt very loyal to the people that she left behind in Russia, particularly her mother.
23:19Actually, for a long time she even saved money in a little Russian jar that we had, she put money in it and she hoped one day, she told us, she' s planning to go back one day and give her mother that money. (23:33)
23:35 I remember Mother's Day for instance. She came home and she was very frustrated and she said "Well, WHOM I am supposed to make the Mother's Day card - my mother in Russia or this mother? (23:46)
23:47 But as time went by and she sort of figured out how the Canadians function, which is quite different than what she was used to, she learned quickly and she felt better as she went along, started to trust us more, and feel a little bit more secure at home. But it took a while and it was a real hard time for her. (24:08)
24:10 Kira:
Five, six, seven, eight.
24:12:20
I need to pay you.
24:14:20 Caitlin:
We need 50 thousand.
24:15 Narrator:
Kira blended into the family so easily it was as if she had just returned home from a long journey.
24:23 Kira:
I like Canada very much because it has beautiful mountains and friendly people. I really want to learn three languages - English, French, as well as Russian. I like Canada bit more that Russia because it has more candies. In Canada I have lovely parents and nice family. When I came to Canada I was very nervous, then I spoke to my parents and they were very happy that they were adopting me from Russia, and so I felt a lot better.(24:55)
24:56 Narrator:
But she has not forgotten her brother.
24:58 Kira:
He did not want me to go because, he said to me he does not want to leave me, like leave me, like he does not want to be alone there. He wants to have a mommy too… That's what I know. (25:20)
25:20 Narrator:
Gary and Claire could not forget him either. They felt compelled to help Dimitri.
25:27 Claire:
His goal in life is to become a policeman and my husband is an ex-Vancouver city policeman. He need a strong male figure in his live.
25:36:16 We would have liked to have adopted him but since we adopted his sister just a couple of months ago and that was a cost of around 18 thousand dollars, really we just could not financially afford to spend another 18 thousand dollars in such a short span.
25:55:00 So I decided that if we could bring him on a student visa, that would be the absolutely next best thing.
26:04:01 After a year the visa could be renewed, and that's what we will continue to do is to re-new his student visa. (26:10:22)
126:12:15 On Sunday my husband is flying to Toronto where he'll wait for Dimitry, and Tuesday morning at 1eleven twenty they'll arrive in Vancouver, and the little sister has no idea, this is gonna be a huge surprise for her. It’s a new beginning for him and it’s closure. It's a goose bum feeling to be able to bring the brother and sister together.(26:38)
26:58 Kira:
Why don't Caroline or Caitlin sit in there?
27:04 Kira:
Say "Cheese"
27:07 Reporter:
What will make it the best Christmas ever for you? Do you have a special wish or anything?
27:14 Kira:
Yes…..
27:19 Kira:
My brother to come to Canada. And his name is Dimitri. (27:25)
27:26 Reporter:
When was the last time you saw him?
27:29 Kira:
When I went to Canada, he was crying because I was leaving…and…so…
27:39 Reporter:
So have you asked Santa to bring him? Do you think you gonna see him? What do you think?
27:48 Kira:
Well, I hope that when I grow up I can get lot of money and bring him here.
28:09 Kira:
Thirty eight, thirty nine, (Kira is counting till 55)
28:20 Claire:
What? What? Stop counting now.(28:25)
28:29 Kira:
Daddy! Daddy!
28:34 Claire:
Do wishes come true? Merry Christmas! (28:37)
28:47:20 Kira
Hallo.
28:48:00 Gary:
You see who is here?
28:50:00 Kira:
Who?
29:38:00 Kira:
Thanks mom, thanks dad, thanks everybody.
29:51 Claire:
The story is not finished yet. Dimitri left his older brother Sergei at the orphanage.
29:58 Kira:
He was the oldest. He was sort of like a father. I want Sergei to come to Canada too so that he would not be there alone.
30:10 Claire:
I hope we'll interest the public and someone will have the room and the space and the love to sponsor this child. It is now my mission or goal to get Sergei into Canada either on a student visa or to be adopted by another family.
30:30 Narrator:
But for Lera there would be NO family reunion.
30:37 Francine:
About a year after Lera was here we received a fax from Russia that her mother had passed away.
30:45Apparently, this actually had happened about six months before we adopted her, but we did not know all the details, we did not know that.
30:53 Lera, of course, immediately wanted to know all the details which we don't have. 30:58 She was very upset and very sad when she found out that her mother had passed away. She does not really even have a picture of her mother, not one, and she is almost forgetting what her mother looks like, she tells us, and she feels very sad about that.
31:12 She expressed a real desire to go there one day and to find out what had happened and where her mother is burried.
31:24:15 Narrator:
Faced with Lera’s desperate need for answers, Francine began writing to Russian authorities to find any living relatives of Lera’s biological mother. Her birth certificate led our inquiries to a place in Siberia. But it proved to be a waste of time. There had been a spelling mistake on the document. In fact, Lera's mother had been born in the former Soviet republic of Kyrgyzstan. (31:51)
31:53 But in the village where she had been born, no one remembered her. We reached a dead end.(31:59)
32:00 At that point Lera had to accept that her past would remain a puzzle with many missing pieces.
32:14:00 Julia:
From what moment do you remember your life?
32:17:10 Lera:
I don’t know really.
32:19:05: Julia:
What is your first memory?
32:26:15 Lera:
I don't have one.
32:30:00 Ju;ia
The first one, the oldest one.
32:39:05 Lera:
I don't want to answer it.
32:42 Narrator:
I had many more questions for Lera.But she refused to be subjected to further interviews. No longer a ward of the state, Lera has developed a strong sense of privacy.
32 :57 Narrator :
A year and a half after Kira and Dmitri’s story-book reunion, I visited them to see how the fairytale was working out.
33 :10 Claire :
Kira adjusted very quickly, very easily, made friends very quickly at school. She did not go for a big span of time without having friends. Whereas Dimitri has had a harder adjustment. And I think, the older the child often the heavier the baggage is.
33 :31 Dimitri :
Difficult was to speak and understand, and I could not understand, and I did not know what to say.(33 :38)
33 :38 Gary :
Faster, faster.
33 :40 Dimitri :
I was speaking Russian and they could not understand me. So….
33 :46 Dimitri :
And then I learned some world by listening and understanding a little bit.
33 :53 :10 Julia :
How is he doing at school?
33 :56 :10 Kira :
He failed. He failed in his exams.
34 :04 :08 Kira :
I was trying to help him, but he just does not listen to me. He says "Don't teach me!"(34 :10 :00)
34 :10 :15 Computer game subtitle :
"Disqualified"
34:11:00 voice:
Disqualified (34 :12 :03)
34 :13 :00 Dimitri :
I think that I know everything, and I know how to do it, but I don’t know. I just need help. If I need help I don't go and ask. I should.
34 :28 Claire :
The difference between Kira and Dimitri is Dimitri's ties to his past are much stronger than Kira's. Kira has forgotten a lot of her past, whereas Dimitri has not and will not, and Dimitri is much more connected to his family that remains in Russia that Kira is.
34:47:20 Narrator:
Of course Dimitri and Kira’s strongest connection to their past was their brother Sergei who, at the age of 16, would soon be turned away from Pereslavl orphanage.
35:01: Claire
Dimitri phoned Sergei and asked him would he like to come to Canada? Sergei said "Are you joking?! Don’t say that again!" and slammed down the phone. And it is a 35-dollar call to Russia, and we keep phoning him and he is slamming down the phone!
35:17:00 Kira:
He might have not believed that we were serious about to comming to Canada.
35:23:22 Dimitri:
I told him that I have nice new family, they like me they are kind people. And I said that we would find a home for you.
35:33:10 Dmitri:
He thought and when we phoned he said "I will come to Canada".
35:39 Narrator:
Claire's mission was to find a home for Sergei. She took her crusade to the local media.The story lead TV newscasts and made the front page of newspapers. Public simpathy poured in - and within a month Claire and Gary found a home for Sergei.
35:57:00 The family of Linda and Bryan Olson from Abbotsford stepped in.
36:02:10 Claire:
Linda and Bryan came over and they brought their son who is fifteen, and they've actually been to Russia and lived in Russia for a month! How perfect!
36:14:00 Linda:
We've visited Cherepovetc and did some orphanage job in a smaller orphanage from 0 to three years old. So the kids had an idea of what it was like in an orphanage.
36:25:05 Narrator:
Within six month Sergei arrived in Canada on student visa to stay with Linda, Bryan and their children, Glenda and Derren.
36:34:00 Linda:
Derren just couldn't imagine at fifteen leaving home at sixteen without some guidance, so that bothered him so he wanted to help.
36:4425 Linda:
He is doing very well, very well. He is on the honour roll and in ESL class in school. And he is planning to graduate and he says he wants to be a lawyer. His health has been really good and he's put on about 25 pounds since he has been here… But it's not without…. I don't know what the right word is to say...
37:07:10 He still holds back a little bit, you can see he's got his guard up.
37:14:00 Sergei:
Remember this picture, Kira?
37:18:15 Sergei:
It's Ina.
37:20:20 Kira:
Who is that?
37:22:00 Sergei:
It's Ina. Remember?
37:24:20 Kira:
I have not seen my sister for five years, and I have not seen my other brothers for five years too.
37:34:00 Kira
I forgot them. Caitlin and Caroline they are like my real sisters.
37:41:00 Julia:
Does it matter for you if they come to Canada or if they stay in Russia?
37:45:05 Kira:
No, it does not matter, I don't care.
37:49:18 Dmitri:
Some day when I grow and I gonna have my own house, I'll go back for a visit, because I have family left there, my brothers and sisters, the best friends.
38:03:00 Maybe sometimes a have a dream about them, and I wake up and I think "Oh, my gosh, I miss them so much."
38:11:20 Julia:
What kind of childhood memories do you have?
38:15:00 Dimitri
Hungry, without shoes, maybe without clothes, sitting in the rain sometimes, and have no food…
38:28:00 Julia:
Do you really remember that or that is what other people were telling you?
38:32:10 Dimitri:
I remember, I remember.
38:37:00 Julia:
Do you remember your life before you were taken to the orphanage?
38:44:10 Kira:
No…..
38:47:00 Yes….I do.
38:49:20 But I don't want to tell.
38 :52 :00 Julia :
I wondered whether Kira’s memory would be as selective toward her birthmother. So at the risk of opening an old wound, I asked her…
39 :03 :00 Kira :
I don't think about the Russian mother at all.
39 :07 :20 Julia :
DO you feel sorry for her sometimes?
39 :11 :02 Kira :
No, I don't feel sorry for her at all.
39 :14 :13 Julia :
Were you angry at her that she left you at the orphanage?
39 :18 :00 Kira :
Yes, I was angry.
39 :21 :10 Julia
Are you still angry?
39 :24 :08 Kira :
Yes, I am still angry that she left me at the orphanage.
39 :31 :25 Julia :
What if you meet her one day?
39 :34 :00 Kira :
I will ask her why she left me in an orphanage and…
39 :41 :09 I will not say anything. I'll just say "I’ve gotten better mother than you".
39 :51 :10 Dimitri :
A year ago, before when I came to Canada we went to see her. And she is living with another man now. And she has another child.
40 :00 :20 Dimitri:
She was not drunk but she was smoking in the house, I couldn't even hug her. She was saying "Oh, I miss you, I love you", but I don't think so she does.
40 :13 :20 Julia :
Why don't you think so?
40 :15 :05 Dimitri :
Because she kicked us out to the orphanage.
40 :18 :15 Julia :
Do you know for what reasons you were taken?
40 :22 :28 Dimitri :
No, maybe because my mom did not like us or something.
40 :28 :15 Claire :
You gonna plus this, right?
40 :30 :25 Claire :
The fact that his mother abandoned him is a huge obstacle to overcome in his life. I think he really need to deal with his anger towards her in order to have successful relationships in the future with other women.
40 :47 :20 If he does not he is going to have, I think, trouble because all of his relationships with women up to this point, from his mother to the teachers at the school, are all confrontational.
41 :00 :20 As Dimitri argues and screams with me, he does not raise his voice with his father. It's two totally different relationship.
41 :1 :00 You sort of … and it’s wrong… but you expect him to appreciate all you’ve done and what he has, and, unfortunatelly, he behaves just like a regular teenager would and at times it's a little hard to swallow.
41:27:00 Julia:
I feel for Dimitri. It may be that his past shackles his subconscious
41:33:07 and he is unable to break free and move forward with his life. I hope he just needs more time and help.
41:45:10 Julia:
Yet Sergei would not let Kira and Dimitri forget who they are and where they come from.
41:52:00 Claire:
It was I think September-October Dimitri got a call from Sergei saying that would not it be nice if he wrote a letter to Yana, the sister in another orphanage, and to their mother.
42:06:20 Julia:
Why do you think it's a good thing to write to the mother?
42:11:00 Sergei:
Because she is my mother, because I grew up with her, because I was born in Russia, because she is my mom.
42:22:10 Kira:
My mom Claire said that "I don’t want you to write a letter because …" bla-bla-bla… something.
42:34:00 And I said, "and I don't want to write her a letter either, so you don't have to worry about it".
42:42:00 Claire:
She had her opportunity for three or four years at the orphanage. She never phoned, she never wrote, she never visited and she lived just two hours away.
42:51:00 Kira:
He said, "don't you like the other mother?". And I said, "no, this is my mother". And he said, "the other mother is yours, this is not your mother".
43:00:10 Dimitri:
He said, "why not, she is your mother!". And he got mad sort of. And I said, "if you want to write you can do, I just don't want to".
43:09:20 Claire:
And that ended up with slamming of the phone, Sergei was very mad and he slammed down the phone and the boys did not speak to each other for three weeks.
43:21:00 Julia:
Do you prefer to have him around….. or now you think, “well, it would be better if he stayed in Russia”?
43:28:00 Dimitri:
No, I think it's good that he came to Canada, because if he would stayed in Russia I would miss him so much.
43:39:00 Linda:
He wrote to his mother. Unfortunatelly, there was no returning letter, I did warn him of that, and Yana did write back.
43:48:15 Narrator:
Yana, Kira and Dimitri's sister, lives with another of her brothers, Vitia, in a residential school in the same town as their birth mother.
44:00:10 She and Sergei wrote often to each other.
--------------------------------------------------
44 :06 :20 Narrator :
"My dear brother Sergei, it's your sister Yana.Thanks for the card for my 14-th birthday. It’s been a while since I sent you my last letter – stamps are too expensive.
44 :18 :10 Not much is new here. We have a new headmistress. She yells all the time for no reason. Every other weekend I go visit mother. .
44 :29 :05 Every day I think about you and I cannot believe that you, Dimitri and Olga are living in Canada. I want to go there too.
44 :39 :00 Please find a good family for me, as close to yours as possible. I want to go now. I think Dimitri has just had a birthday. Send my love to him and Olga. I haven’t seen them in such a long time. I wonder, do they still remember us?
44 :58 :15 Love, Your sister Yana"
--------------------------------------
45:03:15 Narrator:
With this latest request for help, I was wondering what Claire would do this time.
45:10:00 Claire:
A couple of weeks ago Dimitri called the boarding house where Yana and Vitia are, to say hallo and talk to Yana about Canada, and she started mentioning that not only she wanted to come but the other brother Vitia also wanted to come.
45:27:00 And then a really strange thing happened: she mentioned that the mother, their birthmother thought that it would be a wonderful idea if they all went to Canada.
45:37:00 And really, it was almost like a light went off.
45:40:00 I thought "Is she behind this? Is this sort of ultimate plan get them into Canada and then they'll bring her in?"
45:50:00 And at that point I decided that I was gonna step back from it. Maybe someone else wanted to help bring Yana to Canada, or bring them to Canada, or bring Yana to Canada, but I was gonna step back now. I felt I sort of….
46:07:15 … done my part and that I could not save the whole family.
46:18:00 Narrator:
Though the Neels had adopted Lera two and a half years before, it wasn’t until now that she adopted them.
46:27:15 Francine:
After her mother was gone, although she was sad and really upset about it, it sort of freed her up in her own mind to give herself to another family. She did not have any other family, of course, any more.
46:42:20 Ron:
This is a little boy.
46:44:20 Lera:
Are you gonna keep him?
46:46:05 Ron:
For a little while.
46:49:10 Francine:
She felt she did not need to feel constantly this tag of war between her loyalty to her mother in Russia and her feelings to us. Now she could just give herself to us and not feel guilty about it.
47:06:10 Francine:
We've come to love Lera dearly. I mean, she's been with us for two and a half years and she is a wonderful little lady, that is for sure, there is no question about it.
47:18:20 She loves anumals. Basically, she loves life, she is just happy and bouncy, and if she can get involved and be a part of something that's what makes her happy.
47:30:15 Probably, the thing that makes me feel the best is when I see her succeed, when I see how happy she is. It makes you feel really good.
47:46:oo Francine:
We believe in pre-destination. We really believe that Lera was ment to be part of our family, which makes it a whole lot easier to be able to deal with the problems and things that have happen along the way.
48:00:15 Francine:
I don't think Lera will ever forget the memory of her mother. It's quite a strong memory and we are not encouraging her to forget either, I don’t think she should forget. But I do hope that she would cherrish our relationship and it will continue to grow.
----------------------------------------------
48 :19 :10 Narrator :
A couple of days later Francine and John Neels invited all the children who had been together at the orphanage in Pereslavl to join them for a spring barbeque.(48 :31 :15)
48 :35 :05 Kira :
So, what's up?
48 :36 :17 Lera :
What?
48 :37 :08 Kira :
What’s up?
48 :38 :25 Lera :
What?
48 :39 :10 Kira :
What’s up?
48 :41 :08 Lera :
A?
48 :42 :14 Kira :
What's up?!
48 :43 :24 Lera :
A-a-a, " what’s up!"
48 :46 :00 Lera :
Good, Nothing.
48:51:25 Narrator:
The event was all the more of a celebration because two other girls from Pereslavl orphanage,who had recently been adopted by Francine's friend - Judy, were also there. 49:05:20 One of them - Nadia, was Lera's best friend who had cried so desperately when Lera had left three years earlier.
49:14:15 Nadia:
What day did you ……English?
49:19:10 Kira:
What day did I learn English?
49:22:20 Kira:
I learned it in two…… two and a half months.
49:32:00 Lera:
Four!
49:37:06 Kira:
When did you come to Canada?
49:44:13 Lera:
On Christmas, on Christmas.
49:46:00 Francine:
I hope that Lera will be able to find peace. I just hope that some day she will be able to realize that there is a reson why all these things happened and that it's a blessing that she is here now.
49:58:10 Claire:
I think Kira will assimilate 95% into our society and into our family. We have bonded and we are very close. She will be just fine.
50:14:20 Claire:
I think with an older child they have more memories of their birthmother, especially Dimitri. In the child's mind they are constantly reminded that this is not their real mother. I am nor Dimitri's real mother, I am a substitute. He feels that way.
50 :47 :15 Narrator :
This is not the end of the children’s story. Adoption will always be a part of who they are. It will shape them in ways none of us can predict. But what I do know is that the story of each child, while unique, also bears astonishing similarities to those that came before. With every adoption, the cycle starts all over again.
51 :12 :25 Claire :
Don't break the tree!
51 :16 :10 Judy :
Olivia has an older sister and a brother, as I understand, in another orphanage that…
51 :26 :10 that I am interested in bringing over to Canada.
51 :28 :25 Claire :
Do you know what orphanage they are in?
51 :30 :17 Judy :
Sort of, a limited information but we can find it out. (51 :38 :10)
51 :38 :14 Claire :
You hope to get them adopted or…….
51 :44 :00 Francine :
When you have a biological child you can always find yourself back in your child, you recognize yourself. And, of course, if you adopt the child you don’t have that and you just have to try harder to understand why they are doing things and what the reasing is.
51 :59 : 26 Francine :
BUT it has nothing to do with love, because I think you can love… I KNOW you can love an adopted child just as much as a biological child. (52 :08 :06)
52 :12 :02 Lera :
We’ll do it when this microphon is gone…
.
52 :14 :10 Lera :
Will it be on forever that microphon?
52 :20 :12 Lera :
I think it is….
END
Hey, Santa Claus! Santa has presents for everybody!
00 :08 Child :
Hi, Santa!
00 :09 Narrator :
It's just a few days before Christmas. But the excitement in this room is not just about Santa and presents under the tree - it's a reunion of families who adopted children from Russia. In a way I feel these are my children: I am an adoption coordinator and I myself come from Russia.
00 :35 Narrator :
These children remind me of a Russian saying "Roditca v rubashke" - that they were born wearing a lucky shirt.
00 :47 Narrator :
For some of the younger ones the harsh memories of their lives before adoption still linger, but they will soon fade away. Like most international adoptees they'll go through their live without even a single picture of themselves before adoption. It is as if they were born the day they were adopted.
01 :09 Narrator :
At this age it does not bother them. But as they grow up, I wonder, how many will embark on a desperate search for their roots and birth relatives?
01 :20 Narrator :
Kira's story started three years ago during the coldest winter Russia had known in fifty years….
-------------------------------
TITLE: from Russia, for Love
--------------------------------------
01 :44 Narrator :
The road from Moscow to Pereslavl, a typical small Russian town, takes two hours. For Claire and Gary Conrad this is the last two hours of their long adoption journey. Gary and Claire are not new to adoption. Ten years ago, they adopted twin sisters in Canada. This time they've turned to an orphanage in Russia.
02:07 Claire:
The reason we decided to adopt a child from Russia was an article that we read in a newspaper in June and it really-really touched our hearts when we read about all the orphans that were in the different orphanages throughout the country. 02:22
02:23 Claire:
We would like to enrich the life of a child and we have really both means financially as well as the love in our hearts to take another child.02:32
02:33Narrator:
The Conrads live in Abbotsford, British Columbia.
02:40 Narrator:
Their future daughter, along with 40 other children, lives at the orphanage in Pereslavl, Russia.
02:56 Narrator:
There are no newborns or toddlers in the orphanage, only older children. With every passing day a child's chances of being adopted fade. Adoptive parents often fear that an older child will never bond with them because the memories cling to the child like a birthmark. (03:17)
03:43 Claire:
We got Olga's medical and really it did not scare us because the major point on it was that she has been exposed to tuberculosis and she was in an orphanage for children with lung problems. 03:58
04 :03 Narrator :
Shortly after Claire and Gary started their procedures to adopt Olga, I met another family that lives just 20 minutes drive away from Claire and Gary.
04 :13 John and Francine Neels have five biological children and were thinking of adopting an older girl from Russia.
04 :21 Like many living in the area they are a close-knit Christian family of Dutch origin.
04:28 Francine:
When we first had to make our request, we asked for a little girl between the age of four and seven and we were or at least I was sort of thinking that this would probably be a quiet, shy, subdued little girl that would stay in the corner and not say too much,
04:47 but when they came along with the proposal it turned out that this little girl that we probably gonna be getting is the exact opposite to what I expected to be getting:
04:58 I think she is probably anything but shy and she certainly is not subdued. She is actually a leader and that is why they want her to come to our family because they thought that if she went to the family where she would be the oldest or the only child she would run the show.
05:20 Claire:
In a perfect world when we arrive at the orphanage I'd love her to run towards me with her arms open and I'd swoop up my arms and give her a big kiss and a hug, but I'm afraid that probably she will be very nervous and shy and it will not be like that at all. So we just have to wait and see. (05:41)
05:44 Claire:
I don't want her to forget her Russian heritage by any means so we'll keep Olga as her middle name, and we are going to give her a different name - Kira – as her first name but that's a Russian name as well. (05:57)
05:58 I did not want the children at school to tease her in any way. And therefore, I want to make a very smooth transition into Canada for her. (06:06)
06:09 Francine:
Well, of course we gonna keep her name. I mean, just think about it! It’s really the only thing that the child has. She does not have parents, she has no home, no family, she has to give up her last name, so definitely we will keep her first name no matter what it is.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
07:04 Orphanage Director subtitle:
This is Olga.
07:08 Orphanage Director subtitle:
This is your mother and father.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
07:43 Claire:
Before we went to Russia we knew a lot of information about Olga. We knew that she was one of ten children, she was the second youngest. We knew that the children had been deserted or left by their mother. She has gone off to start a new life with a new man and left the children with the father.
08:05 The father died of tuberculosis and the children were separated. And then three of them went to a town called Pereslavl and went to the same orphanage for children with lung deseases.
08:18 So the family was really split up. (08:20)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
08:29 Orphanage Director subtitle:
This is your mother and this is your father (08:33)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
08:44 Francine:
Lera was born to a young single mother and was left by her at the hospital when she was born. Therefore, she spent all her life in the orphanage up until now.(08:54)
O8:55 Russian speech:
You look like the mother.(08:59)
09:03 Francine:
The fact that Lera has been at the orphanage all her life, though it is sad in some ways, it does means that she has been speared a lot of sadness, a lot of worry and trouble and neglect, maybe abuse, like a lot of children do suffer and eventually also end up in the orphanage some with TB (tuberculosis) and with a lot of sad memories. (09:25)
09:39 Interpreter:
We can not waste time for emotions, Evguenia says, but for all these papers to be processed. (09:44)
09:47 Narrator:
Of course, Olga and Lera have little understanding of what a huge change is about to happen in their lives.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
subtitles:
09: 54:10 Julia:
What language do they speak in Canada?
09:57:16 Kira, Lera:
English.
09:59:05 Julia:
Who here speaks English?
10:01:05 Kira:
I do. A little.
10:02:19 Julia:
What do you know?
10:04:25 Kira:
Only about animals.
10:06:25 Julia:
Tell me what you know.
10:09:15 Kira:
Dog…Apple….
10:13:13 Julia:
Will you have friends there?
19:15:23 Lera:
Yes.
10:17:04 Julia:
What language will you speak with them?
10:19:13 Lera:
Russian.
10:22:07 Julia:
Will they be able to understand you?
10:28:05 Lera:
I will use sign language.
10:36:09 Lera:
What?
10:42:28 Lera:
I will teach them Russian.
10:45:09 Julia:
Do other children at the orphanage want to be adopted?
10:52:18 Lera:
Children from our group do .
10:55:18 Julia:
Why?
10:57:23 Lera:
Because it is warm and there is no snow there.
11:04:27 Julia:
And what if there is snow?
11:07:09 Lera:
Then they don’t want to go.
11:09:22 Julia:
How many brothers and sisters do you have?
11:12:28 Kira:
There are ten of us.
11:14:26 Kira:
They are in another orphanage.
11:18:07 Kira:
I have two brothers here.
(end of subtitles)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11:27 Narrator:
That’s when I learned that the boy behind the glass door was Olga's brother, Dmitri.
11:38 Narrator:
The next day the Conrads and the Neels went to court for the required approval of the adoption. Usually it is a formality, but Olga could have chosen to stay in Russia and not to leave her brothers. (11:52)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
subtitles:
11:52:18 Julia:
Will you tell the judge you won’t go without your brothers?
12:04:16 Kira:
No. I won’t say that.
12:06:28 Kira:
When I grow up, I will come get them.
(End of subtitles)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
12:12: Interpreter:
That’s a clause that this judge took your case. (12:16)
12:22 Court employeer:
Please stand up!
------------------------------
12:24 Narrator:
The parents will take on the life long commitment of adoption and all the complications that come with it after having spent only an hour with the girls.
12:37 Once the judge makes a decision, there is no backing out for the parents.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
subtitles:
12:45:00 Julia
Why did they choose you, not some other girl?
12:51:19 Lera:
Because I look like the mother.
12:57:00 Julia:
Do you think you’re a special girl?
12:59:29: Julia:
Are you special or not?
13:04:08 Lera:
Not special.
13:07:16 Julia:
Do you know that you will have a new name?
13:10:11 Kira:
Yes.
13:12:08 Julia:
What name ?
13:13:21 Kira:
I don’t remember.
13:16:16 Julia:
Your name will be Kira. Do you like it?
13:19:17 Kira:
Yes.
13:22:27 Julia:
Is it OK that your name is changed?
13:29:27 Kira:
Yes.
13:35:28 Julia:
Whom do you love most of all in the world?
13:48:00 Julia
Do you love somebody?
13:50:05 Lera:
Yes.
13:52:18 Lera:
Svetlana Vladimirovna.
13:57:07 Julia:
Who is she?
13:59:01 Lera
The caregiver.
(end of subtitles)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
14:06 Interpreter:
It’s for you!
14:08 Interpreter:
Do you like it?
14:11 Narrator:
Funally, the day of departure.
14:14 Narrator:
Yet none of us expected what the day would bring.
14:25:00 Claire
Shall we go back, to the another room?
14:27:10 Julia:
Yes… Claire, are you aquainted? (14:30:02)
14:30:10 Claire:
No.
14:31:00 Julia:
This is her brother.
14:33:20 Claire:
Hi.
14:34:04 Claire:
How old is he?
14:35:25 Julia:
Twelve.
14:47:10 Claire:
Does she have three brothers here?
14:49:00 Julia
No, just two.
14:51:10 Claire
But one is away?
14:53:13 Julia:
Yes, he is in Crimea for a year.
15:47 Claire:
15:47 It was the most difficult thing we ever did in our lives was to leave him there.(15:51)
15:52 But the saddest part was he recognized there was no hope for him. Nobody wanted him, he was too old. (16:00)
16:08 There was really nothing we could do because even if we could have taken him, he did not have a passport, he did not have papers needed to come to Canada. So we could not take him. (16:18)
17:32 Narrator:
With Kira gone forever, Dmitri was left alone. (17:36)
17:41 His brother Sergei was away till summer and though he has other relatives, they are not part of his life. (17:48)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
subtitles:
17:49:02 Dimitri:
Yana is in a health camp.
17:53:03 Dimitri:
Julya has married and lives her own life.
17:57:17 Dimitri:
Gosha and Vitia are in a residential school.
18:06:12 Dimitri:
Vova also was there.
18:08:13 Dimitri:
But now he lives with our mother.
18:14:10 Julia:
What about your sister Tatiana?
18:17:16 Dimitri
She was…
18:21:11 Dimitri:
Tanya was adopted from a nursery.
(end of subtitles)
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18:25 Narrator:
But what is the future for Dmitri and his friends? To get an answer, I met will Nadezhda Ivanova, the director of the Centre for Post-Orphanage Studies.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
subtitles:
18:38:06 Nadezhda Ivanova:
The orphanage controls the child’s life around the clock,
18:42:21 Nadezhda Ivanova:
so the child never learns to make decisions.
18:47:15 Nadezhda Ivanova:
The orphan comes to depend on the guiding hand of the State.
18:51:15 Nadezhda Ivanova:
That is why the toughest moment for the child…
18:54:06 Nadezhda Ivanova:
is when he leaves the orphanage.
18:58:20 Nadezhda Ivanova:
When the door shuts behind him,
no control, no support is left.
19:03:21 Nadezhda Ivanova:
He is alone in the world.
19:07:18 Dimitri:
I want to be an adult.
19:09:21 Julia:
Why?
19:11:12 Dimitri:
I don’t know. I just want to grow up faster.
19:15:25 Julia:
What will you do then?
19:18:17 Dimitri:
I will work.
19:25:11 Dimitri:
If I grow up I’ll become a policeman.
19:29:15 Dimitri:
I’ll be paid for my work and will live … well.
(end of subtitles)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
19:33 Narrator:
But will he? For an orphan the chances of becoming a criminal are much higher than being a policeman. Orphans are as helpless as blind kittens when they enter the adult world. (19:47)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
subtitles:
19:50:03 Nadezhda Ivanova:
The statistics on former orphans are very sad.
19:54:18 Nadezhda Ivanova:
One in three ends up on the streets.
19:57:23 Nadezhda Ivanova:
One in five goes to prison.
20:01:22 Nadezhda Ivanova:
One in ten commits suicide.
(end of subtitles)
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20 :48 Narrator :
Eight months later, in Canada, both girls have already forgotten how to speak Russian.
20 :56 Kira’s parents say that she has effortlessly adapted to her new family.
21 :05 However, Lera’s adjustment has not been as easy. For her it will be harder to turn the page.
21:15 Francine:
The evening before we went to court we were having dinner at a restaurant in the little village of Pereslavl, and that's when our coordinator told us that "Oh, there is something you should know:
21:28 Lera has not been at the orphanage since birth, but has been with her mother since she was born until she was four years old. And then she was taken away from her mother and placed in an orphanage."
21:40 That actually kind of shocked me, to be really honest, when she said that, because I thought “Well, this leaves us now with whole new set of unknown things." I mean, maybe the child was abused, you don't know what sort of parents she had or what happened to her parents. It was just a little bit scary. (1:57)
22:03 Emmy:
Lera, come!
Don't pull her mouth.
22:08 Francine:
The first while was very difficult for her. In the first place, obviously, the language barrier was a real problem because she was very frustrated not being able to express herself at all. She could not talk to us we could not talk to her.
22:22:She was very angry and bitter and she acted that out quite often. (22:28)
(written on the cake)
22:44“Happy Eighth Birthday; Lara.”
22:48 John:
Have a wonderful eighth, your first on in Canada. Lots of love from your big sister Emmy.
22:53 Lera:
Emmy! Good.
22:58 Lera:
Oh, mother, computer game! Cool! Open it.
23:03 Francine:
She is very sincere and very loyal. And we noticed that, especially at the beginning, she had a real problem giving herself to us because she felt very loyal to the people that she left behind in Russia, particularly her mother.
23:19Actually, for a long time she even saved money in a little Russian jar that we had, she put money in it and she hoped one day, she told us, she' s planning to go back one day and give her mother that money. (23:33)
23:35 I remember Mother's Day for instance. She came home and she was very frustrated and she said "Well, WHOM I am supposed to make the Mother's Day card - my mother in Russia or this mother? (23:46)
23:47 But as time went by and she sort of figured out how the Canadians function, which is quite different than what she was used to, she learned quickly and she felt better as she went along, started to trust us more, and feel a little bit more secure at home. But it took a while and it was a real hard time for her. (24:08)
24:10 Kira:
Five, six, seven, eight.
24:12:20
I need to pay you.
24:14:20 Caitlin:
We need 50 thousand.
24:15 Narrator:
Kira blended into the family so easily it was as if she had just returned home from a long journey.
24:23 Kira:
I like Canada very much because it has beautiful mountains and friendly people. I really want to learn three languages - English, French, as well as Russian. I like Canada bit more that Russia because it has more candies. In Canada I have lovely parents and nice family. When I came to Canada I was very nervous, then I spoke to my parents and they were very happy that they were adopting me from Russia, and so I felt a lot better.(24:55)
24:56 Narrator:
But she has not forgotten her brother.
24:58 Kira:
He did not want me to go because, he said to me he does not want to leave me, like leave me, like he does not want to be alone there. He wants to have a mommy too… That's what I know. (25:20)
25:20 Narrator:
Gary and Claire could not forget him either. They felt compelled to help Dimitri.
25:27 Claire:
His goal in life is to become a policeman and my husband is an ex-Vancouver city policeman. He need a strong male figure in his live.
25:36:16 We would have liked to have adopted him but since we adopted his sister just a couple of months ago and that was a cost of around 18 thousand dollars, really we just could not financially afford to spend another 18 thousand dollars in such a short span.
25:55:00 So I decided that if we could bring him on a student visa, that would be the absolutely next best thing.
26:04:01 After a year the visa could be renewed, and that's what we will continue to do is to re-new his student visa. (26:10:22)
126:12:15 On Sunday my husband is flying to Toronto where he'll wait for Dimitry, and Tuesday morning at 1eleven twenty they'll arrive in Vancouver, and the little sister has no idea, this is gonna be a huge surprise for her. It’s a new beginning for him and it’s closure. It's a goose bum feeling to be able to bring the brother and sister together.(26:38)
26:58 Kira:
Why don't Caroline or Caitlin sit in there?
27:04 Kira:
Say "Cheese"
27:07 Reporter:
What will make it the best Christmas ever for you? Do you have a special wish or anything?
27:14 Kira:
Yes…..
27:19 Kira:
My brother to come to Canada. And his name is Dimitri. (27:25)
27:26 Reporter:
When was the last time you saw him?
27:29 Kira:
When I went to Canada, he was crying because I was leaving…and…so…
27:39 Reporter:
So have you asked Santa to bring him? Do you think you gonna see him? What do you think?
27:48 Kira:
Well, I hope that when I grow up I can get lot of money and bring him here.
28:09 Kira:
Thirty eight, thirty nine, (Kira is counting till 55)
28:20 Claire:
What? What? Stop counting now.(28:25)
28:29 Kira:
Daddy! Daddy!
28:34 Claire:
Do wishes come true? Merry Christmas! (28:37)
28:47:20 Kira
Hallo.
28:48:00 Gary:
You see who is here?
28:50:00 Kira:
Who?
29:38:00 Kira:
Thanks mom, thanks dad, thanks everybody.
29:51 Claire:
The story is not finished yet. Dimitri left his older brother Sergei at the orphanage.
29:58 Kira:
He was the oldest. He was sort of like a father. I want Sergei to come to Canada too so that he would not be there alone.
30:10 Claire:
I hope we'll interest the public and someone will have the room and the space and the love to sponsor this child. It is now my mission or goal to get Sergei into Canada either on a student visa or to be adopted by another family.
30:30 Narrator:
But for Lera there would be NO family reunion.
30:37 Francine:
About a year after Lera was here we received a fax from Russia that her mother had passed away.
30:45Apparently, this actually had happened about six months before we adopted her, but we did not know all the details, we did not know that.
30:53 Lera, of course, immediately wanted to know all the details which we don't have. 30:58 She was very upset and very sad when she found out that her mother had passed away. She does not really even have a picture of her mother, not one, and she is almost forgetting what her mother looks like, she tells us, and she feels very sad about that.
31:12 She expressed a real desire to go there one day and to find out what had happened and where her mother is burried.
31:24:15 Narrator:
Faced with Lera’s desperate need for answers, Francine began writing to Russian authorities to find any living relatives of Lera’s biological mother. Her birth certificate led our inquiries to a place in Siberia. But it proved to be a waste of time. There had been a spelling mistake on the document. In fact, Lera's mother had been born in the former Soviet republic of Kyrgyzstan. (31:51)
31:53 But in the village where she had been born, no one remembered her. We reached a dead end.(31:59)
32:00 At that point Lera had to accept that her past would remain a puzzle with many missing pieces.
32:14:00 Julia:
From what moment do you remember your life?
32:17:10 Lera:
I don’t know really.
32:19:05: Julia:
What is your first memory?
32:26:15 Lera:
I don't have one.
32:30:00 Ju;ia
The first one, the oldest one.
32:39:05 Lera:
I don't want to answer it.
32:42 Narrator:
I had many more questions for Lera.But she refused to be subjected to further interviews. No longer a ward of the state, Lera has developed a strong sense of privacy.
32 :57 Narrator :
A year and a half after Kira and Dmitri’s story-book reunion, I visited them to see how the fairytale was working out.
33 :10 Claire :
Kira adjusted very quickly, very easily, made friends very quickly at school. She did not go for a big span of time without having friends. Whereas Dimitri has had a harder adjustment. And I think, the older the child often the heavier the baggage is.
33 :31 Dimitri :
Difficult was to speak and understand, and I could not understand, and I did not know what to say.(33 :38)
33 :38 Gary :
Faster, faster.
33 :40 Dimitri :
I was speaking Russian and they could not understand me. So….
33 :46 Dimitri :
And then I learned some world by listening and understanding a little bit.
33 :53 :10 Julia :
How is he doing at school?
33 :56 :10 Kira :
He failed. He failed in his exams.
34 :04 :08 Kira :
I was trying to help him, but he just does not listen to me. He says "Don't teach me!"(34 :10 :00)
34 :10 :15 Computer game subtitle :
"Disqualified"
34:11:00 voice:
Disqualified (34 :12 :03)
34 :13 :00 Dimitri :
I think that I know everything, and I know how to do it, but I don’t know. I just need help. If I need help I don't go and ask. I should.
34 :28 Claire :
The difference between Kira and Dimitri is Dimitri's ties to his past are much stronger than Kira's. Kira has forgotten a lot of her past, whereas Dimitri has not and will not, and Dimitri is much more connected to his family that remains in Russia that Kira is.
34:47:20 Narrator:
Of course Dimitri and Kira’s strongest connection to their past was their brother Sergei who, at the age of 16, would soon be turned away from Pereslavl orphanage.
35:01: Claire
Dimitri phoned Sergei and asked him would he like to come to Canada? Sergei said "Are you joking?! Don’t say that again!" and slammed down the phone. And it is a 35-dollar call to Russia, and we keep phoning him and he is slamming down the phone!
35:17:00 Kira:
He might have not believed that we were serious about to comming to Canada.
35:23:22 Dimitri:
I told him that I have nice new family, they like me they are kind people. And I said that we would find a home for you.
35:33:10 Dmitri:
He thought and when we phoned he said "I will come to Canada".
35:39 Narrator:
Claire's mission was to find a home for Sergei. She took her crusade to the local media.The story lead TV newscasts and made the front page of newspapers. Public simpathy poured in - and within a month Claire and Gary found a home for Sergei.
35:57:00 The family of Linda and Bryan Olson from Abbotsford stepped in.
36:02:10 Claire:
Linda and Bryan came over and they brought their son who is fifteen, and they've actually been to Russia and lived in Russia for a month! How perfect!
36:14:00 Linda:
We've visited Cherepovetc and did some orphanage job in a smaller orphanage from 0 to three years old. So the kids had an idea of what it was like in an orphanage.
36:25:05 Narrator:
Within six month Sergei arrived in Canada on student visa to stay with Linda, Bryan and their children, Glenda and Derren.
36:34:00 Linda:
Derren just couldn't imagine at fifteen leaving home at sixteen without some guidance, so that bothered him so he wanted to help.
36:4425 Linda:
He is doing very well, very well. He is on the honour roll and in ESL class in school. And he is planning to graduate and he says he wants to be a lawyer. His health has been really good and he's put on about 25 pounds since he has been here… But it's not without…. I don't know what the right word is to say...
37:07:10 He still holds back a little bit, you can see he's got his guard up.
37:14:00 Sergei:
Remember this picture, Kira?
37:18:15 Sergei:
It's Ina.
37:20:20 Kira:
Who is that?
37:22:00 Sergei:
It's Ina. Remember?
37:24:20 Kira:
I have not seen my sister for five years, and I have not seen my other brothers for five years too.
37:34:00 Kira
I forgot them. Caitlin and Caroline they are like my real sisters.
37:41:00 Julia:
Does it matter for you if they come to Canada or if they stay in Russia?
37:45:05 Kira:
No, it does not matter, I don't care.
37:49:18 Dmitri:
Some day when I grow and I gonna have my own house, I'll go back for a visit, because I have family left there, my brothers and sisters, the best friends.
38:03:00 Maybe sometimes a have a dream about them, and I wake up and I think "Oh, my gosh, I miss them so much."
38:11:20 Julia:
What kind of childhood memories do you have?
38:15:00 Dimitri
Hungry, without shoes, maybe without clothes, sitting in the rain sometimes, and have no food…
38:28:00 Julia:
Do you really remember that or that is what other people were telling you?
38:32:10 Dimitri:
I remember, I remember.
38:37:00 Julia:
Do you remember your life before you were taken to the orphanage?
38:44:10 Kira:
No…..
38:47:00 Yes….I do.
38:49:20 But I don't want to tell.
38 :52 :00 Julia :
I wondered whether Kira’s memory would be as selective toward her birthmother. So at the risk of opening an old wound, I asked her…
39 :03 :00 Kira :
I don't think about the Russian mother at all.
39 :07 :20 Julia :
DO you feel sorry for her sometimes?
39 :11 :02 Kira :
No, I don't feel sorry for her at all.
39 :14 :13 Julia :
Were you angry at her that she left you at the orphanage?
39 :18 :00 Kira :
Yes, I was angry.
39 :21 :10 Julia
Are you still angry?
39 :24 :08 Kira :
Yes, I am still angry that she left me at the orphanage.
39 :31 :25 Julia :
What if you meet her one day?
39 :34 :00 Kira :
I will ask her why she left me in an orphanage and…
39 :41 :09 I will not say anything. I'll just say "I’ve gotten better mother than you".
39 :51 :10 Dimitri :
A year ago, before when I came to Canada we went to see her. And she is living with another man now. And she has another child.
40 :00 :20 Dimitri:
She was not drunk but she was smoking in the house, I couldn't even hug her. She was saying "Oh, I miss you, I love you", but I don't think so she does.
40 :13 :20 Julia :
Why don't you think so?
40 :15 :05 Dimitri :
Because she kicked us out to the orphanage.
40 :18 :15 Julia :
Do you know for what reasons you were taken?
40 :22 :28 Dimitri :
No, maybe because my mom did not like us or something.
40 :28 :15 Claire :
You gonna plus this, right?
40 :30 :25 Claire :
The fact that his mother abandoned him is a huge obstacle to overcome in his life. I think he really need to deal with his anger towards her in order to have successful relationships in the future with other women.
40 :47 :20 If he does not he is going to have, I think, trouble because all of his relationships with women up to this point, from his mother to the teachers at the school, are all confrontational.
41 :00 :20 As Dimitri argues and screams with me, he does not raise his voice with his father. It's two totally different relationship.
41 :1 :00 You sort of … and it’s wrong… but you expect him to appreciate all you’ve done and what he has, and, unfortunatelly, he behaves just like a regular teenager would and at times it's a little hard to swallow.
41:27:00 Julia:
I feel for Dimitri. It may be that his past shackles his subconscious
41:33:07 and he is unable to break free and move forward with his life. I hope he just needs more time and help.
41:45:10 Julia:
Yet Sergei would not let Kira and Dimitri forget who they are and where they come from.
41:52:00 Claire:
It was I think September-October Dimitri got a call from Sergei saying that would not it be nice if he wrote a letter to Yana, the sister in another orphanage, and to their mother.
42:06:20 Julia:
Why do you think it's a good thing to write to the mother?
42:11:00 Sergei:
Because she is my mother, because I grew up with her, because I was born in Russia, because she is my mom.
42:22:10 Kira:
My mom Claire said that "I don’t want you to write a letter because …" bla-bla-bla… something.
42:34:00 And I said, "and I don't want to write her a letter either, so you don't have to worry about it".
42:42:00 Claire:
She had her opportunity for three or four years at the orphanage. She never phoned, she never wrote, she never visited and she lived just two hours away.
42:51:00 Kira:
He said, "don't you like the other mother?". And I said, "no, this is my mother". And he said, "the other mother is yours, this is not your mother".
43:00:10 Dimitri:
He said, "why not, she is your mother!". And he got mad sort of. And I said, "if you want to write you can do, I just don't want to".
43:09:20 Claire:
And that ended up with slamming of the phone, Sergei was very mad and he slammed down the phone and the boys did not speak to each other for three weeks.
43:21:00 Julia:
Do you prefer to have him around….. or now you think, “well, it would be better if he stayed in Russia”?
43:28:00 Dimitri:
No, I think it's good that he came to Canada, because if he would stayed in Russia I would miss him so much.
43:39:00 Linda:
He wrote to his mother. Unfortunatelly, there was no returning letter, I did warn him of that, and Yana did write back.
43:48:15 Narrator:
Yana, Kira and Dimitri's sister, lives with another of her brothers, Vitia, in a residential school in the same town as their birth mother.
44:00:10 She and Sergei wrote often to each other.
--------------------------------------------------
44 :06 :20 Narrator :
"My dear brother Sergei, it's your sister Yana.Thanks for the card for my 14-th birthday. It’s been a while since I sent you my last letter – stamps are too expensive.
44 :18 :10 Not much is new here. We have a new headmistress. She yells all the time for no reason. Every other weekend I go visit mother. .
44 :29 :05 Every day I think about you and I cannot believe that you, Dimitri and Olga are living in Canada. I want to go there too.
44 :39 :00 Please find a good family for me, as close to yours as possible. I want to go now. I think Dimitri has just had a birthday. Send my love to him and Olga. I haven’t seen them in such a long time. I wonder, do they still remember us?
44 :58 :15 Love, Your sister Yana"
--------------------------------------
45:03:15 Narrator:
With this latest request for help, I was wondering what Claire would do this time.
45:10:00 Claire:
A couple of weeks ago Dimitri called the boarding house where Yana and Vitia are, to say hallo and talk to Yana about Canada, and she started mentioning that not only she wanted to come but the other brother Vitia also wanted to come.
45:27:00 And then a really strange thing happened: she mentioned that the mother, their birthmother thought that it would be a wonderful idea if they all went to Canada.
45:37:00 And really, it was almost like a light went off.
45:40:00 I thought "Is she behind this? Is this sort of ultimate plan get them into Canada and then they'll bring her in?"
45:50:00 And at that point I decided that I was gonna step back from it. Maybe someone else wanted to help bring Yana to Canada, or bring them to Canada, or bring Yana to Canada, but I was gonna step back now. I felt I sort of….
46:07:15 … done my part and that I could not save the whole family.
46:18:00 Narrator:
Though the Neels had adopted Lera two and a half years before, it wasn’t until now that she adopted them.
46:27:15 Francine:
After her mother was gone, although she was sad and really upset about it, it sort of freed her up in her own mind to give herself to another family. She did not have any other family, of course, any more.
46:42:20 Ron:
This is a little boy.
46:44:20 Lera:
Are you gonna keep him?
46:46:05 Ron:
For a little while.
46:49:10 Francine:
She felt she did not need to feel constantly this tag of war between her loyalty to her mother in Russia and her feelings to us. Now she could just give herself to us and not feel guilty about it.
47:06:10 Francine:
We've come to love Lera dearly. I mean, she's been with us for two and a half years and she is a wonderful little lady, that is for sure, there is no question about it.
47:18:20 She loves anumals. Basically, she loves life, she is just happy and bouncy, and if she can get involved and be a part of something that's what makes her happy.
47:30:15 Probably, the thing that makes me feel the best is when I see her succeed, when I see how happy she is. It makes you feel really good.
47:46:oo Francine:
We believe in pre-destination. We really believe that Lera was ment to be part of our family, which makes it a whole lot easier to be able to deal with the problems and things that have happen along the way.
48:00:15 Francine:
I don't think Lera will ever forget the memory of her mother. It's quite a strong memory and we are not encouraging her to forget either, I don’t think she should forget. But I do hope that she would cherrish our relationship and it will continue to grow.
----------------------------------------------
48 :19 :10 Narrator :
A couple of days later Francine and John Neels invited all the children who had been together at the orphanage in Pereslavl to join them for a spring barbeque.(48 :31 :15)
48 :35 :05 Kira :
So, what's up?
48 :36 :17 Lera :
What?
48 :37 :08 Kira :
What’s up?
48 :38 :25 Lera :
What?
48 :39 :10 Kira :
What’s up?
48 :41 :08 Lera :
A?
48 :42 :14 Kira :
What's up?!
48 :43 :24 Lera :
A-a-a, " what’s up!"
48 :46 :00 Lera :
Good, Nothing.
48:51:25 Narrator:
The event was all the more of a celebration because two other girls from Pereslavl orphanage,who had recently been adopted by Francine's friend - Judy, were also there. 49:05:20 One of them - Nadia, was Lera's best friend who had cried so desperately when Lera had left three years earlier.
49:14:15 Nadia:
What day did you ……English?
49:19:10 Kira:
What day did I learn English?
49:22:20 Kira:
I learned it in two…… two and a half months.
49:32:00 Lera:
Four!
49:37:06 Kira:
When did you come to Canada?
49:44:13 Lera:
On Christmas, on Christmas.
49:46:00 Francine:
I hope that Lera will be able to find peace. I just hope that some day she will be able to realize that there is a reson why all these things happened and that it's a blessing that she is here now.
49:58:10 Claire:
I think Kira will assimilate 95% into our society and into our family. We have bonded and we are very close. She will be just fine.
50:14:20 Claire:
I think with an older child they have more memories of their birthmother, especially Dimitri. In the child's mind they are constantly reminded that this is not their real mother. I am nor Dimitri's real mother, I am a substitute. He feels that way.
50 :47 :15 Narrator :
This is not the end of the children’s story. Adoption will always be a part of who they are. It will shape them in ways none of us can predict. But what I do know is that the story of each child, while unique, also bears astonishing similarities to those that came before. With every adoption, the cycle starts all over again.
51 :12 :25 Claire :
Don't break the tree!
51 :16 :10 Judy :
Olivia has an older sister and a brother, as I understand, in another orphanage that…
51 :26 :10 that I am interested in bringing over to Canada.
51 :28 :25 Claire :
Do you know what orphanage they are in?
51 :30 :17 Judy :
Sort of, a limited information but we can find it out. (51 :38 :10)
51 :38 :14 Claire :
You hope to get them adopted or…….
51 :44 :00 Francine :
When you have a biological child you can always find yourself back in your child, you recognize yourself. And, of course, if you adopt the child you don’t have that and you just have to try harder to understand why they are doing things and what the reasing is.
51 :59 : 26 Francine :
BUT it has nothing to do with love, because I think you can love… I KNOW you can love an adopted child just as much as a biological child. (52 :08 :06)
52 :12 :02 Lera :
We’ll do it when this microphon is gone…
.
52 :14 :10 Lera :
Will it be on forever that microphon?
52 :20 :12 Lera :
I think it is….
END