| TC | NOTE | DESCRIPTION |
| 01:00:02;01 | TITLE | The World Beard and Moustache Championships began in Germany. |
| 01:00:09;24 | TITLE | This is the story of the American invasion. |
| 01:00:13;07 | VO | THIS IS ALL THINGS CONSIDERED FROM NPR NEWS. MORE THAN A HUNDRED WORLD CLASS ENTRANTS WILL COMPETE IN THE 17 CATEGORIES OF THE WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS. |
| 01:00:24;10 |
| TOMMI: I WAS OVERWHELMED. I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS QUITE THE SPECTACULAR THING IT WAS. |
| 01:00:24;10 | VO | THE CATEGORIES INCLUDE EIGHT KINDS OF MOUSTACHE, FOUR TYPES OF GOATEE OR OTHER PARTIAL BEARD AND THEN FIVE TYPES OF FULL BEARD. |
| 01:00:38;03 | L3RD | 2003 CHAMPIONSHIPS |
| 01:00:38;03 |
| PHIL: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. WELCOME TO THE FIRST EVER WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS EVER HELD IN AMERICA. |
| 01:00:47;16 |
| TOMMI: IT WAS AMAZING, BECAUSE THERE WERE FOURTEEN COUNTRIES THAT WALKED IN. WITH THEIR PRIDE, THEIR FLAGS. IT WAS AMAZING. |
| 01:01:07;01 | TITLE | If You Shave, You’re Fired LLC PRESENTS: |
| 01:01:09;04 | TITLE | A Documentary Film about THE WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS |
| 01:01:15;28 |
| BRUCE: ANYTIME YOU COMPETE ABOUT SOMETHING, THERE ARE CERTAINLY PEOPLE WHO ARE SERIOUS ABOUT DOING THAT. TO ME, THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT. |
| 01:01:23;27 |
| PHIL: USA! USA! |
| 01:01:27;24 |
| GARY: IT’S LIKE ANY COMPETITION, IT MEANS ALOT TO THE FOLKS INVOLVED, AND I HOPE IT GROWS AND BECOMES SOMETHING REALLY BIG. |
| 01:01:35;07 |
| PHIL: THERE CAN BE NO MORE IMPORTANT PATRIOTIC ENDEAVOR THAN TO SUPPORT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AT THE BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS. |
| 01:01:44;04 | TITLE | SPLITTING HAIRS |
| 01:01:54;04 | L3RD | MYTCHETT, ENGLAND |
| 01:01:55;18 |
| TED: I THINK IT’S TRUE TO SAY THE BEARD AND MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT HAS BEEN A EUROPEAN THING UNTIL FAIRLY RECENTLY. BUT RIGHT BACK IN ’97, A CHAP CALLED BRUCE ROE, AN AMERICAN, WENT TO THE NORWEGIAN CHAMPIONSHIPS. |
| 01:02:00;05 | L3RD | PRESIDENT TED SEDMAN World Association |
| 01:02:07;26 | L3RD | 1997 CHAMPIONSHIPS |
| 01:02:14;09 |
| BRUCE: I WAS THE FIRST AMERICAN TO COMPETE IN A WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE COMPETITION. THE FIRST TWO, I WAS THE ONLY AMERICAN. |
| 01:02:17;09 | L3RD | PRESIDENT BRUCE ROE Whisker Club |
| 01:02:25;11 |
| BRUCE: THE FIRST TIME I WENT TO ONE OF THESE COMPETITION WAS IN NORWAY, AND I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT COSTUMES, SO I WENT IN JACKET AND TIE. BUT THEN ALL THESE GUYS HAVE GREAT COSTUMES, SO THE NEXT TIME I WENT TO GERMANY, I FIGURED I NEEDED AN AMERICAN COSTUME. |
| 01:02:43;05 |
| BRUCE: AND ONCE I RECOGNIZED HOW MUCH FUN THESE EURPOEAN PEOPLE WERE HAVING, I THOUGH WE NEED TO BE DOING THIS IN THE US, SO I CAME BACK, FOUNDED THE CLUB, AND THE REST IS HISTORY. |
| 01:02:56;05 |
| TED: BRUCE WAS AT THE EVENT IN SWEEDEN OF COURSE, IN 1999, AND AT THAT EVENT, THERE WAS A ANOTHER CHAP FROM AMERICA CALLED PHIL OLSEN. |
| 01:03:00;16 | L3RD | 1999 CHAMPIONSHIPS |
| 01:03:06;04 |
| PHIL: HERE WE HAVE THE DVD FROM TWO YEARS AGO, AND ACTUALLY WE HAVE A THOUSAND OF THEM, IF ANYBODY WANTS A THOUSAND OF THEM. AND HERE THEY ARE ALL STACKED UP READY TO GO. AND WE ALSO STILL HAVE BEER MUGS, IN THE CAR. I CARRY THESE AROUND, JUST IN CASE I WANT TO HAVE A BEER SOMEPLACE. AND I HAVE SEVERAL CASES OF THEM IN THE GARAGE. SINCE I’VE HAD THIS BEARD THIS LONG LIKE THIS WHICH IS SEVERAL YEARS NOW SO MANY PEOPLE COME UP TO ME AND COMPLEMENT ME, BUT ALSO ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO I DON’T KNOW COME UP TO ME AND SAY HI PHIL AND THEY ALL KNOW ME. THEY KNOW ME BECAUSE OF THE BEARD AND I DON’T REMEMBER THEM. IT DISTINGUISHES ME FROM THE CROWD. |
| 01:03:08;26 | L3RD | CAPTAIN PHIL OLSEN Beard Team USA |
| 01:03:59;14 |
| BRUCE: IN THE COMPETITION IN YSTAD SWEEDEN I BELIEVE THAT WAS 1999 WE RAN INTO PHIL HE WAS TRAVELLING IN GERMANY AND MET SOME FOLKS… |
| 01:04:11;25 |
| PHIL: IS ANYONE PLANNING TO GO TO DACHAU? |
| 01:04:12;04 |
| BRUCE: WHO WERE HEADED FOR THE COMPETITION, HE JUST SORTA TAGGED ALONG, AND OF COURSE THE REST IS HISTORY. |
| 01:04:20;01 |
| TED: PHIL WENT ON FROM THERE TO ORGANIZE THE CHAMPIONSHIPS IN 2003. HE DID A REMARKABLE JOB. MOST OF THE CHAMPIONSHIPS HAVE BEEN ORGANIZED BY A CLUB, BUT HE ESSENTIALLY DID IT ALL ON HIS OWN. |
| 01:04:34;04 |
| TOMMY: I DON’T BELIEVE PHIL HAS A CLUB AT THIS POINT IN TIME THAT I’M AWARE OF THAT HE HAS A CLUB, HE MIGHT BE A MEMBER OF… BRUCE: I DON’T BELIEVE HE’S A MEMBER OF ANY CLUB. TOMMY: ANY CLUB, YEAH, I DON’T THINK HE’S A MEMBER OF ANY CLUB. |
| 01:04:46;02 |
| PHIL: ACTUALLY THERE ARE TWO MAIN BEARD CLUBS IN THE UNITED STATES. THE WHISKER CLUB AND BEARD TEAM USA. BEARD TEAM USA IS BIGGER THAN THE WHISKER CLUB. THE WHISKER CLUB ON IT’S WEBSITE CLAIMS TO HAVE SEVENTY MEMBERS, SO THAT MAKES BEARD TEAM USA ALMOST THREE TIMES THE SIZE. |
| 01:05:02;00 |
| BRUCE: WHEN WE COMPETED IN CARSON CITY, EVERYBODY FROM THE US HE LISTED AS TEAM USA. NOW THAT’S NOT REALLY CLUB, I JUST FIGURED IF YOU’RE FROM THE US, SO YOU’RE PART OF TEAM USA. |
| 01:05:16;10 |
| PHIL: I DON’T BELIEVE BRUCE HATES TEAM USA, BRUCE DOES HAVE A DIFFERENT WAY OF LOOKING AT THESE THINGS FROM THE WAY I LOOK AT THEM. |
| 01:05:26;11 |
| BRUCE: AND NOW PEOPLE LISTED GOING TO BERLIN MAY BE LISTED, IF THEY’RE NOT WHISKER CLUB THEY MAY BE LISTED AS TEAM USA. IS THAT A CLUB? NOT THAT WE CAN COME UP WITH, NO. |
| 01:05:36;23 |
| PHIL: I’VE MADE A POINT OF SAYING THAT ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE A MEMBER CAN BE A MEMBER. THERE ARE NO QUALIFICATIONS, ALSO, NO ONE’S REQUIRED TO PAY DUES. THE WHISKER CLUB WANTS TO MAINTAIN IT’S EXCLUSIVITY AND THEREFORE HAS AN APPLICATION PROCESS, THE APPLICATON IS THEN EITHER ACCEPTED OR REJECTED, AND ALSO ANYONE WHO’S A MEMBER HAS TO PAY TWENTY DOLLARS PER YEAR, I BELIEVE IT IS, ANNUAL DUES. AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT THE WEBSITE SAYS. |
| 01:06:06;15 |
| GARY: YOU KNOW, YOU GET INTO THAT LEADERSHIP THING, THAT’S A BIG DEAL ON YOUR EGO TRIP. THIS WORLD CHAMPION YOU KNOW COMPETITION AND EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND, WHERE YOU’RE FROM, AND HOW YOU PERCIEVE YOU WANNA LOOK.
WHEN I WAS ABOUT SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD THIS IS WHAT I PICTURED ME AS BEING IN THIS RING OF FIRE THAT I COULDN’T GET OUT OF. THE FIRST THING WAS GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE, WHICH I FIGURED WAS LIKE BEING IN PRISON. SO YOU FINALLY GOT OUT, OK? AND THEN, YOU’RE OUT THERE WITH LIFE. AND THIS IS THAT RING OF FIRE THAT YOU’RE IN.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THE PRESIDENCY AND THE VICE PRESIDENCY AND THE CLUB AND ALL THAT… I’VE BEEN INVOLVED IN THAT BEFORE AND IT JUST ISN’T MY CUP OF TEA. |
| 01:06:05;23 | TITLE | GARY JOHNSON Free Agent |
| 01:07:17;16 |
| PHIL: NOW I HAVE THIS PROBLEM WHETHER I SHOULD SEND GARY JOHNSON THIS TEAM USA TSHIRT. BECAUSE IF I DO, BRUCE’LL GET MAD AT ME FOR SAYING THAT GARY’S ON TEAM USA. |
| 01:07:33;02 |
| BRUCE: GARY IS A MEMBER OF THE WHISKER CLUB, AND I’M NOT GONNA SAY ANY MORE ON CAMERA. |
| 01:07:38;21 |
| PHIL: AND IF I DON’T SEND HIM A TSHIRT, THERE’S THE RISK THAT HE’LL BE PISSED OF BECAUSE HE’S NOT ON TEAM USA… AND IF I DON’T SEND HIM A TSHIRT THERE’S A RISK HE’LL BE PISSED OFF BECAUSE HE DIDN’T GET A TSHIRT. |
| 01:07:52;17 | TITLE | DEE Gary’s Wife |
| 01:07:54;04 |
| DEE: PERSONALLY IT’S BRUCE FOR ME, HE’S RUDE… |
| 01:07:57;00 |
| BRUCE: WE’RE A LITTLE LATE, BUT WHY DON’T WE GO AHEAD AND GET STARTED. WE’RE HOPING FOR BETTER ATTENDANCE, WE KINDA GOT THAT, BUT NOT REALLY. |
| 01:08:05;03 |
| SCOTT: ARE YOU GONNA HAVE CLEAR DEFINITIONS OF WHAT IS EXPECTED OF A PRESIDENT, VICE PRESIDENT, SECRETARY SLASH TREASURER? |
| 01:08:15;18 |
| BRUCE: ONE STEP AT A TIME. |
| 01:08:15;27 |
| DEE: BRUCE WANTS TO RUN THE WHOLE SHOW… WANTS TO SET EVERYBODY’S SCENE… |
| 01:08:20;16 |
| BRUCE: TYPICALLY HAMBURGERS ARE MORE POPULAR THAN HOT DOGS. I WOULD THINK. SO ARE WE IN AGREEMENT THAT THE WHISKER CLUB WILL PURCHASE HAMBURGERS, BUNS AND CONDIEMENTS? |
| 01:08:31;24 |
| GARY: WE GOT ASKED TO GO TO FUCKING SEATTLE, TO THE FISHERMAN’S MARKET OVER THERE. THE CAMERA GUY COMES DOWN AND HE WAS DOING AN INTERVIEW AND HE HAD A MIC. WE STARTED OUT THINGS, AND BRUCE, HE INTERRUPTS HIM. WELL DON’TCA THINK WE OUGHTA BE OVER HERE? AND MAYBE WE OUGHTA GET THAT CAMERA GUY TO MOVE OVER HERE A LITTLE BIT… AND I’M SITTIN THERE AND I’M LOOKING AT HIM, I SAYS HEY BRUCE, THIS GUY DOES THIS SHIT FOR A LIVING, WHY DON’T YOU BACK OFF, LEAVE HIM ALONE. HE TURNS AROUND AND HE TELLS ME HE SAYS IT’S MY JOB TO WORRY ABOUT STUFF LIKE THIS. |
| 01:09:03;25 |
| DEE: HE’S GONNA TELL YOU HOW HE WANTS IT DONE. I COULD ALMOST BET MONEY ON IT. |
| 01:09:07;25 |
| BRUCE: IF YOU SHOOT THIS RIGHT, SO I STAND IN THE FOREGROUND, I WILL LOOK MUCH TALLER THAN THE CAR. ESPECIALLY IF YOU SHOOT FROM LOWER. RIGHT? |
| 01:09:18;21 | TITLE | FULDA, GERMANY. Rules Meeting. |
| 01:09:27;16 |
| PHIL: WE’RE GOING TO THE MEETING, WHICH IS IN GELDHAUZEN. WE’RE IN FULDAH? AND WE’RE GOING TO GELDHAUZEN. ALL THE BIG NAMES IN THE GERMAN BEARD WORLD WILL BE THERE. THIS IS A MEETING OF THE ELITE. PROBABLY HANS GASSNER WILL BE THERE, HE WAS THE WINNER IN FULL BEARD FREESTYLE IN CARSON CITY. JURGEN BURKHARDT WILL BE THERE, AND FRANZ MITTERHAUS. BOTH JURGEN AND FRANZ HAVE WHAT THE GERMANS CALL TOILET PAPER ROLLS. PERSONALLY I FIND IT UNUSUAL OR UNFAIR THAT THE GERMANS DICTATE THE RULES AND CALL IT THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS. PHIL: MY IDEA IS THAT EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO PARTICIPATE SHOULD FIT INTO SOME CATEGORY.
JORG: AND WHAT ABOUT THE SIDEBURNS? WHAT ABOUT THE WHISKERS?
PHIL: THAT WOULD COUNT. |
| 01:10:17;00 | TITLE | HOFEN CLUB Hofen, Germany |
| 01:10:17;00 |
| BRUCE: THE HOFEN CLUB WAS THE FIRST CLUB TO EVER HAVE A WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP. AND THEY’RE THE ONES THAT SET DOWN THE STANDARDS FOR THE DIFFERENT CATEGORIES AND CLASSES. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK IT’S JUST SIZE, BUT THAT IS NOT AT ALL THE CASE. IN SOME CASES IT IS, BUT PREDOMINATELY IT HOW IT MEETS THE DESCRIPTION, HOW IT LOOKS ON YOU AND I ALWAYS THINK OF THE COSTUME AS A TIE BREAKER. |
| 01:10:48;28 |
| TOMMY: IN MOUSTACHES, FREESTYLE, NATURAL, CHINESE, HUNGARIAN, IMPERIAL, ENGLISH, DALI. BEARDS IT’S VERDI, GARIBALDI, FREESTYLE, NATURAL. A LOT OF MEN DO NATURAL. |
| 01:11:07;05 |
| PHIL: I USE STYLING PRODUCTS. HAIRSPRAY. TO FORM IT INTO A SHAPE THAT I LIKE. BUT IF YOU USE HAIRSPRAY, YOU’RE ONLY ALLOWED TO COMPETE IN THE FREESTYLE DIVISION. AND IN THE FREESTYLE DIVISION THERE WILL BE PEOPLE WITH HUGE CURLS AND WACKY STYLES WHO I WILL BE FORCED TO COMPETE AGAINST. |
| 01:11:31;28 |
| GARY: ALLRIGHT, WE’LL SEE YA LATER. RIGHT ON. YEAH.
DEE: I KNOW YOU’LL HAVE FUN.
GARY: OH YEAH. THIS IS FOR ALL THE NICKELS HERE NOW. THE WHOLE STACK. |
| 01:11:45;15 |
| BRUCE: WE’LL BE LOADING UP THE PLANE HERE IN A MINUTE, AND WE’RE HEADED OFF TO FRANKFURT, EIGHT HOUR FLIGHT, HOPEFULLY WE CAN GET SOME SLEEP ON THE WAY, CAUSE WE’RE GONNA GO GO GO WHEN WE GET TO GERMANY.
BOB: I’M BOB.
BRUCE: YOU KNOW ME, I’M RECRUITING EVEN AT THE AIRPORT. |
| 01:12:08;03 |
| TOMMI: IT’S THE US AIRWAYS… ATTASH…
BRUCE: ATTACE.
TOMMI: WE HAVE A PICTURE OF THE FAMOUS PHIL OLSEN DOWN HERE, AND IT TALKS ABOUT HIM ORGANIZING THE 2003 COMPETITION.
BRUCE: WE’LL IT’S KIND OF SURPRISING TO SEE IT IN A MAGAZINE. I WAS ASLEEP WHEN SHE WOKE ME UP TO SHOW ME. |
| 01:12:29;18 | VO | STEWARDESS: WE WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME YOU TO FRANKFURT. PLEASE REMAIN SEATED UNTIL THE PLANE HAS STOPPED. WE WOULD ALSO LIKE TO WELCOME THE USA BEARD TEAM, WHO WILL BE COMPETING AT THE WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS NEXT SUNDAY IN BERLIN. |
| 01:12:45;28 |
| PHIL: TEAM USA IS HOPING TO UPSET THE DOMINANT GERMAN TEAM. WE’RE HOPING FOR REPEAT OF 1945. WHERE THE USA BEAT GERMANY IN GERMANY.
PHIL: WELCOME TO BERLIN. WILKOMME IN BERLIN.
PHIL: HELLO LUTZ!
PHIL: PRETTY NICE, HUH? |
| 01:13:28;21 |
| JACK: MUSIC, PRESS. IT’S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. |
| 01:13:28;21 | L3RD | JACK Beard Team USA |
| 01:13:32;15 |
| BRUCE: IT SAYAS BERLIN THIS WAY, SO WE’RE GONNA FOLLOW THE SIGN.
TIA: WE NEEDED TO NOT GET ON HERE, WE NEEDED TO KEEP GOING THE DIRECTION WE WERE GOING.
BRUCE: I THOUGHT NINE TOOK US ALL THE WAY
TOMMI: WE’RE NOT ON NINE.
BRUCE: THIS IS THE LONG WAY? WELL I GUESS THAT THE SIGN I’M LOOKING AT THAT SAYS WE’RE ON NINE OR GOING TO NINE MUST BE INCORRECT. AT THIS RATE IT WILL TAKE US FORTY HOURS TO GET THERE. |
| 01:14:03;25 |
| GARY: POOR OLD BRUCE. I’LL TELL YOU WHAT. THAT POOR GUY’S A NERVOUS WRECK. JESUS THAT GUY WORRIES ABOUT STUFF. |
| 01:14:14;14 | TITLE | WELCOME PARTY |
| 01:14:21;05 | TITLE | JURGEN Berlin Beard Club |
| 01:14:21;04 |
| JURGEN: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR STAY TILL NOW AND I HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY YOUR STAY FOR THE NEXT DAYS. THERE ARE ABOUT TWO HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE STARTES, COMING FROM ABOUT TWENTY COUNTRIES, AND THIS IS A VERY BIG SUCCESS FOR US, THAT ALL OF YOU CAME FROM SO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES HERE TO BERLIN. AND THANKS FOR COMING. ENJOY YOURSELF. |
| 01:14:57;03 |
| ALF: HELLO!
BRUCE: PLEASURE TO SEE YOU.
ALF: I CAN’T SEE IT, WHAT DOES IT SAY?
BRUCE: IT SAYS WHISKER CLUB. |
| 01:15:03;02 |
| LASAD: MY NAME IS LASAD AMINI, I COME FROM TUNIS. |
| 01:15:09;22 |
| JORG: MY GOOD OLD FRIEND.
BRUCE: OLD FRIEND?
JORG: JA. |
| 01:15:14;03 |
| ITALIAN GUY: ??? |
| 01:15:18;01 |
| PHIL: ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO ANYTHING SPECIAL WITH YOUR BEARD?
JACK: SHOULD I? I WAS JUST GONNA GO FULL BEARD NATURAL, BUT THEN I SAW A COUPLE GUYS. THERE’S SOME BEARDED STALLIONS.
PHIL: OH YEAH. |
| 01:15:25;13 |
| STEVE: I’M STEVE PARSONS FROM ENGLAND, MEMBER OF THE HANDLEBAR CLUB. |
| 01:15:28;22 |
| BRUCE: SIR.
NORWEGIAN GUY: NICE TO SEE YOU.
BRUCE: NICE TO SEE YOU. IT’S BEEN SO LONG. I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME. |
| 01:15:36;28 |
| JURGEN: I CAME FROM THE CLUB BELLE MOUSTACHE FROM GERMANY. |
| 01:15:41;05 |
| PHIL: WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO? DO YOU WASH IT? CONDITION IT?
JACK: I DON’T HAVE ANY CONDITIONER HERE.
PHIL: I HAVE SOME IF YOU WANT IT. HOW BOUT THIS… AS COACH, I’LL COME OVER AND YOU AND I WILL WORK ON YOUR BEARD. WHAT TIME DO YOU WANT TO GET UP? |
| 01:15:54;00 |
| BRUCE: AND HOW ARE YOU?
MAX: FINE.
BRUCE: I DON’T REMEMBER YOUR FACE.
MAX: MY FACE? I AM MAX KLAUS.
BRUCE: JA, JA
MAX: OK |
| 01:16:07;21 |
| PHIL: JIM THIS IS BRUCE ROE. BRUCE IS PRESIDENT OF THE WHISKER CLUB. |
| 01:16:13;00 |
| JIM: WE’RE TRYING TO STAY OUT OF THE FRAY, STAY OUT OF THEIR INTERNAL POLITICS, AND GET THEM TO SELECT US AS THE SITE FOR 2009. |
| 01:16:12;12 | TITLE | JIM Anchorage, AK |
| 01:16:20;25 |
| JIM: WE HAVE SOME NICE OPTIONS ON THE TABLE. |
| 01:16:20;25 | SUBTITLE | We have some nice options on the table. |
| 01:16:22;26 |
| JIM: THERE’S MORE GOING ON IN ALASKA THAN JUST THE IDEROD
JIM: WE’RE GONNA PRESENET AT 2 O’CLOCK ON SUNDAY
JIM: THE WHOLE THING WILL BE CULMINATED BY DANCING TO A POLKA BAND ON THE BEARDED BEER TRAIN, WHICH I TELL YA WHAT, MIGHT BECOME AN INTERNATIONAL PHENOMENON. |
| 01:16:28;06 | SUBTITLE | We’re going to present at 2 o’clock on Sunday so… |
| 01:16:48;09 |
| BRUCE: I AM IN BERLIN ON THE DAY OF THE WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIP, AND I’M SOON GOING TO PREPARE THIS SCRAGGLY LOOKING THING ON THE UPPER LIP FOR THE COMPETITION.
TOMMI: PHIL IS A LITTLE CONCERNED A LITTLE TENSE… MENTIONED SOME YOUNG TWENTY TWO YEAR OLD GENTLEMENT WITH A FULL BEARD. THAT HE THINKS IS A RISING STAR I THINK HE CALLED HIM. |
| 01:17:14;21 |
| PHIL: SEE THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU GET A BUNCH OF THEM THAT ALL GATHER TOGETHER. I WISH THEY DIDN’T HAVE THAT RULE ABOUT NO ARTIFICIAL STYLING AIDS, CAUSE I COULD PUT SOME HAIRSPRAY ON THIS AND IT WOULD JUST LOOK PERFECT. |
| 01:17:44;08 |
| PHIL & JACK: ONE, TWO, THREE |
| 01:18:16;00 |
| BRUCE: OOPS |
| 01:18:22;12 |
| PHIL: I JUST NOTICED HOW WRINKLED THIS IS. I’M HOPING I CAN STEAM IT UP IN THE SHOWER. |
| 01:18:35;21 |
| BRUCE: WADDAYA SEE?
TOMMI: LET’S PUT YOUR TIE ON.
TOMMI: IT’S KIND OF AMAZING TO WATCH THE POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE OF THIS KIND OF A THING. BRUCE: WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO DO SOME FINE TRIMMING ON THE ENDS. |
| 01:18:48;12 |
| PHIL: I DON’T WANT TO OVERSPRAY IT. ALTHOUGH I’VE ALMOST FOUND THAT MORE IS MORE IN THIS SITUATION. |
| 01:18:48;12 | SUBTITLE | I don’t want to overspray it |
| 01:18:51;01 | SUBTITLE | Although I have almost found that more is more in this situation. |
| 01:18:55;17 |
| TOMMI: TURN TO ME AGAIN, IN THE SUNLIGHT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GONNA DO, OTHER THAN HAVE FUN ON STAGE.
BRUCE: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE. |
| 01:19:04;14 |
| GARY: WADDAYA YOU THINK? THINK I’M WORLD CHAMPION MATERIAL OR NOT? HUH! |
| 01:19:16;22 |
| PHIL: MEN. AMERICANS LOVE THE STING AND THE CLASH OF BATTLE. THERE’S ONE GREAT THING THAT YOU MEN WILL BE ABLE TO SAY AFTER THESE CHAMPIONSHIPS ARE OVER. YOU WILL BE THANKFUL THAT TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW WHEN YOU ARE SITTING BY THE FIREPLACE WITH YOUR GRANDSON AND HE ASKS YOU WHAT YOU DID DURING THE WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS, YOU WON’T HAVE TO COUGH, SHIFT HIM TO THE OTHER KNEE, AND SAY YOUR GRANDADDY SHOVELED SHIT IN LOUISIANA. NO SIR, YOU CAN LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAY YOUR GRANDDADDY RODE TO VICTORY WITH THE GREAT TEAM USA. USA! USA! |
| 01:20:18;14 |
| JACK: PHIL, WHERE DO WE GO?
PHIL: TEAM USA IF WE WANNA MARCH IN TOGETHER COME ON OVER… |
| 01:21:44;04 |
| JACK: DANKACHEIN FOR EVERYTHING.
PHIL: OF COURSE.
JACK: AND GOOD LUCK YOURSELF UP THERE.
PHIL: THANK YOU. |
| 01:21:54;09 |
| MC: THE NUMBER SIXTEEN PLEASE, GARY JOHNSON.
MC: EIGHT POINT FIVE, TEN, NINE POINT FIVE, NINE, THANK YOU.
MC: STARTER NUMBER FIFTEEN, HERR PHIL OLSEN.
MC: EIGHT POINT FIVE, EIGHT, EIGHT, EIGHT, EIGHT, EIGHT, EIGHT. THANK YOU.
MC: BRUCE ROE IS THE NUMBER ONE.
MC: NINE COMMA FIVE, NINE COMMA FIVE, NINE, NINE, NINE COMMA FIVE, NINE |
| 01:23:08;21 |
| BRUCE: THE COMPETITION TODAY IS THE TOUGHEST I HAVE EVER SEEN. |
| 01:23:25;02 | TITLE | GARY Partial Beard Freestyle |
| 01:23:29;03 | TITLE | 4th Place |
| 01:23:31;04 | TITLE | PHIL Full Beard Freestyle |
| 01:23:35;06 | TITLE | 17th Place |
| 01:23:43;28 | TITLE | BRUCE ROE Wild West |
| 01:23:35;06 | TITLE | 3rd PLACE |
| 01:24:01;10 |
| TOMMI: YES |
| 01:24:07;02 |
| GARY: HEY
JURGEN: THANK YOU FOR COMING.
GARY: YOU BET.
JURGEN: WE’LL SEE YOU IN THE FUTURE.
GARY: NO PROBLEM. YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. |
| 01:24:16;17 | L3RD | OLALLA, WASHINGTON Gary’s Home |
| 01:24:19;17 |
| GARY: WE FOUND OUT LATER THAT OLD TED SEDMAN, HE STEPPED DOWN. THEY FIGURED IT WAS A GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO GO AHEAD AND ELECT A NEW PRESIDENT. |
| 01:24:24;27 |
| TED: I SAID THAT I’LL STAND DOWN AT THE MEETING. HOPEFULLY WE’LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE OVER. |
| 01:24:29;18 | SUBTITLE | I said that I’ll stand down at the meeting. Hopefully we’ll find someone else to take over. |
| 01:24:24;27 | L3RD | PRESIDENT TED SEDMAN World Association |
| 01:24:36;21 |
| BRUCE: I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.
NORWEGIAN GUY: YEAH.
BRUCE: TED WANTS TO RESIGN AS PRESIDENT.
NORWEGIAN GUY: YES I KNOW.
BRUCE: YOU HAVE ANYBODY IN MIND?
NORWEGIAN GUY: NO I DON’T.
BRUCE: I HAVE SOMEBODY IN MIND. |
| 01:24:41;09 | SUBTITLE | Yes I know. |
| 01:24:45;12 | SUBTITLE | No I don’t. |
| 01:24:48;14 |
| PHIL: FROM MY POINT OF VIEW IT SEEMS TO ME THAT BRUCE HAS PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THE WHISKER CLUB WITHOUT REALLY GETTING MUCH DONE. IT’S WHETHER HE’S THE BIG SHOT IN AMERICA OR I’M THE BIG SHOT. |
| 01:25:06;20 |
| TED: I WAS HOPING THEIR’D BE MORE PEOPLE HERE, BUT THANK YOU FOR COMING. I’M TED SEDMAN, I’M CURRENTLY PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE ASSOCIATION. PHIL OLSEN IS THE NORTH AMERICAN COORDINATOR FOR THE ASSOCIATION.
PHIL: WE HAVE TWO REPRESENTATIVES WITH US TODAY FROM THE VISITORS AND CONVENTIONS BUREAU OF ANCHORAGE ALASKA
JIM: I THINK IT WOULD BE A REAL KICK AND A REAL TREAT AND AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU COME UP AND HOST THIS CHAMPIONSHIP IN ANCHORAGE ALASKA
TED: WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO PROPOSE WHO SHOULD BE THE PRESIDENT FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS
HEINZ: ???
PHIL: HEINZ SAYS HE NOMINATES ME. SORRY.
TED: PHIL, ARE YOU PREPARED TO ACCEPT THE NOMINATION?
PHIL: YES.
JORG: ???
PHIL: JORG WOULD ALSO LIKE TO NOMINATE AN AMERICAN AND THEREFORE HE IS NOMINATING BRUCE ROE.
TED: BRUCE, ARE YOU PREPARED TO ACCEPT THE NOMINATION?
BRUCE: YEAH YEAH.
RANDOM NORWEGIAN: EVERY CLUB HAS ONE VOTE. |
| 01:26:18;17 |
| GARY: GUESS WHO’S THE NEW PRESIDENT? |
| 01:26:22;21 |
| TED: WHO’S HOFEN VOTING FOR?
HOFEN GUY: BRUCE.
TED: YOU VOTE FOR BRUCE OR FOR…
JORG: FOR BRUCE.
BEARDED NATION GUY: BEARDED NATION WILL VOTE FOR BRUCE.
TED: FOR BRUCE OR FOR PHIL? |
| 01:26:36;26 |
| DEE: AH FUCK, IF YOU SAY BRUCE… |
| 01:26:38;02 |
| DUCK BEARD GUY: PHIL.
TED: IT WAS VERY CLOSE, AND… |
| 01:26:41;28 |
| DEE: WHO?
GARY: BRUCE. |
| 01:26:46;12 |
| TED: BRUCE HAS BEEN ELECTED NEW PRESIDENT. |
| 01:26:48;28 |
| DEE: JESUS FUCKING BALLS. I DON’T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT. THAT’S ABOUT THE STUPIDEST THING THAT ANY HUMAN BEING IN ANY COUNTRY COULD DO. |
| 01:27:00;11 |
| TED: A TOAST TO OUR NEW PRESIDENT. |
| 01:27:09;26 | CREDITS |
|
| 01:27:23;23 |
| TOMMI: HE WAS JUST VOTED THE PRESIDENT OF THE WBMA. |
| 01:27:40;21 |
| PHIL: I AM TO THE WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS WHAT POPE JOHN PAUL THE SECOND WAS TO THE FALL OF COMMUNISM. |
| 01:27:54;13 |
| BRUCE & TOURISTS: WHISKER? WHISKER? WHISKER? WHISKER? WHISKER? AH. WHISKERS. |