TIME CODE

VIDEO

AUDIO

[01:00:00.00]

TITLE CARD – ROUGH CUT "LITTLE WHITE LIE" by Lacey Schwartz

ROUGH CUT

"LITTLE WHITE LIE"

by Lacey Schwartz

[01:00:05.15]

TITLE CARD - RT: 01:08:40;00

Temp Music/Temp graphics

Scratch narration

unmixed/not color-corrected

RT: 01:08:40;00

Temp Music/Temp graphics

Scratch narration

unmixed/not color-corrected

Wedding/ Long Line of NY Jews

[01:00:09.20]

Establishing shot of tent at wedding; stills to set stage

CATSKILL, NY

[01:00:27.15]

CU on earrings; Lacey’s hair; Lacey in bathroom prepping

[01:00:34.15]

CU on makeup equipment; friend looking at camera

FRIEND: And did you want to get started?

LS: Yeah, sure. And the weather, I think it’s going to hold off, but…

[01:00:43.15]

Friend looking through camera (cont); WS on friend

[01:00:49.15]

Popping champagne; friends laughing; prepping Peggy’s hair

LS VO: For a long time I didn’t want to get married. I felt like I couldn’t create a new family, until I came to terms with what had happened in my own.

[01:01:08.15]

Family tree graphic with old photographs, then archival footage

LS VO: I come from a long line of NY Jews. I’m the great-granddaughter of Eastern European immigrants who brought their culture and traditions to Brooklyn.

[01:01:45.10]

GRAINY VIDEO OF BAR MITZVAH; PEGGY PREGNANT, ROBERT WITH DOG, ROBERT AND PEGGY OUTSIDE; DRESSED UP LINE OF FAMILY

LS VO: The daughter of a nice Jewish girl and a nice Jewish boy. I grew up in a world - with Synagogue, Hebrew School, Bar Mitzvahs.

[01:01:58.00]

Continued grainy footage, dinner party, Robert reading, lighting candles

LS VO: My family knew who they were and they defined who I was.

[01:02:06.04]

FINISH LIGHTING CANDLES; BAT MITZVAH VIDEO + LACEY IN BAT MITZVAH PHOTO

LS VO: So it never occurred to me that I was passing. I wasn’t pretending to be something I wasn’t – I actually grew up believing I was white.

[01:02:33.00]

TITLE CARD – LITTLE WHITE LIE

CEMETARY

LS: See we are real Jews. This proves it.

LS: This is Uncle Lou and he is the one I am named after. Lou – Lacey. He died at my mother’s wedding. He had a heart attack in the bathroom. And somehow or another they got him out. She didn’t know that he had died until she got back from her honeymoon. Even though he died at her wedding. So that is who I am named after.

LACEY DRIVING IN CAR

LS INTV: Sometimes I wonder who I would be if none of this had ever happeend. If I was still this nice Jewish girl from Woodstock, NY. You know what would have been different in my life?

[01:02:39.00]

TITLE: UPSTATE NEW YORK; EXTERIOR OF HOUSE, SHOTS OF TOWN;

PS INTV: When Lacey was a little girl we lived a comfortable life. We lived almost picture perfect kind of life for a while. So when Lacey decided she was going to tell this story I was a little nervous about it.

[01:03:15.14]

Peggy on stairs; poking around in attic. Peggy hitting shelves

PS: Lace! I cannot start without you.

[01:03:06.01]

Peggy rooting around in Attic

LS: Coming.

PS: Oh – it’s not too bad.

[01:03:18.15]

Peggy with glass

PS: I’m waiting.

[01:03:24.15]

Peggy with glass, Lacey emerging from attic door; Peggy grabbing shoes

PS: Oh! Wait till you see what I just found.

[01:03:29.06]

Peggy holding the shoe

LS: What?

[01:03:29.19]

Holding shoe, pulls tissue out of it, tries it on

PS: My wedding shoes. What’s in there? Anything I don’t want to know about? Look at the size of these feet. How did that happen?

[01:03:39.25]

CU on shoe, which doesn’t fit

LS: Push your feet in.

[01:03:41.20]

Wiggling foot around, cut out to taking it off; CU to other foot

PS: Lacey there’s no way on Earth. Here, let’s try the left foot. Oh how we danced the night we were wed.

[01:03:51.15]

Peggy’s other foot in shoe

LS: Did you love them?

[01:03:52.29]

Shoe and leg.

PS: I loved them.

[01:03:53.10]

Peggy takes off show.

LS: How did you feel on your wedding day?

[01:03:54.20]

Peggy looks in old box holding show.

PS: I felt excited.

[01:03:56.03]

Peggy still looking in old box.

LS: Did you?

[01:03:57.10]

Same as above

PS: Ah huh

[01:03:57.25]

Same as above.

LS: Tell me more.

History of Parents’ Relationship

[01:04:01.00]

PHOTOS – B/W PEGGY, B/W ROBERT VINTAGE

PS: I started going out with Daddy when I was sixteen years old. Daddy was the man I was supposed to be with. Daddy was a person I grew up with. Daddy was all of that.

[01:04:17.25]

LACEY + ROBERT WALKING IN FIELD

[01:04:21.15]

LACEY + ROBERT SETTING UP PICNIC

LS: So tell me about meeting Mommy.

[01:04:23.17]

LACEY + ROBERT AT RESERVOIR, 50’S FOOTAGE OF WOMEN, PEGGY 70’S PHOTO W/ FLOWER

RS: Well I was um supervisor of the Lake Ann Day Camp and I had this bevy of gorgeous young teenage girls under my supervision, including Mommy so I just started dating them one at a time. And then when I got to Mommy we stuck together.

[01:04:52.15]

50’S VIDEO OF ROBERT

PS: Grandma decided that this guy would be the perfect match for me. Grandma loved his brown eyes and his eyelashes.

[01:05:04.10]

OLD PHOTO OF ROBERT

PEGGY SITTING NEXT TO BICYCLE

LACEY + ROBERT AT RESERVOIR

RS: When we went back to Brooklyn after the summer was over it turned out she lived in the neighborhood, maybe half a mile away, we just started going out. But it was fun, we had fun. And it was nearby, it was a neighborhood romance. Everybody saw us stable and long-lasting couple.

[01:05:22.18]

PEGGY + ROBERT PHOTO

PS: I was programmed to marry him.

[01:05:28.15]

PHOTO OF YOUNG PEGGY

LS: What do you mean you were programmed?

[01:05:30.15]

ROBERT + PEGGY PHOTO, PHOTOS OF YOUNG PEGGY, WEDDING PHOTOS

PS: Here was the path. I went to a city school. I became a teacher. I got married to a nice Jewish guy. That’s the way it was, it’s just I didn’t think that’s what I’m doing, I’m getting married and I’m getting married to this guy. You just didn’t think outside the box, we didn’t and sometimes it was easier that way.

Lacey’s Birth (family tree)

[01:05:58.00]

LAST WEDDING PHOTO; PHOTOS OF ROBERT + PEGGY 70’S AND PREGNANT PEGGY

PS INTV: In 1972, Robert and I moved to upstate NY. I was just Robert and me till 1977 then Lacey was born.

LS VO: My mother was in labor for 36 hours before the doctor finally performed a caesarian.

[01:06:17.10]

BABY LACEY PHOTO, LACEY + BRUCE IN FOREST AND TITLE CARD - BRUCE MY UNCLE, PHOTO OF PEGGY IN HOSPITAL

BC: I saw you first and [TEXT: BRUCE MY UNCLE] there you were. I was so absolutely happy you know I was an uncle.

[01:06:28.10]

NURSERY ROOM GROUP PHOTO, MIKE’S OFFICE, TITLE CARD - MIKE FAMILY FRIEND, PHOTO OF RS WITH BABY LS, PHOTO OF BABY LAS, ROBERT’S GRANDFATHER VINTAGE PHOTO

MF: I do remember seeing you for the first time up at the hospital in the nursery. [TEXT: MIKE FAMILY FRIEND] And I remember your Dad being very proud of the beautiful baby he had and I remember you had kind of a yellowish tinge… You did look a little different, but it was just how you looked.

[01:07:40:28]

PHOTO WITH PEGGY; LACEY GRADE SCHOOL PHOTO B/W WITH BLONDE KID; LAS ON JUNGLE GYM/HOMEVIDEO LACEY AS A KID ON THE LAWN; + LACEY BEING INTERVIEWED

LS INTV VO: One day I went to nursery school there was this little blonde kid who seemed obsessed with how I looked. He said to me show me the color of your gums and I just showed him my gums I was like [PULLS LIP DOWN].

LS VO: That’s the earliest memory I have of feeling different. It was embarrassing to be singled out and it made me feel ugly.

[01:08:17:28]

PHOTO OF LAS DOING HOMEWORK WITH RS, PHOTO OF SICILIAN GGF

LS VO: When I told my parents what had happened, my father pulled out an old photo album and told me I took after his great grandfather who was Sicilian.

[01:08:30:28]

PHOTO; INTERVIEW W MARY

MF: And I saw pictures and I said oh [TEXT: MARY FAMILY FRIEND] Lace looks like Robert's grandfather.

[01:08:36:28]

SAMARA AND LAS AT FENCE; CU ON LAS

SAMARA: I just sort of believed what we were told that somewhere I don't know [TEXT: SAMARA MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND] um in your family history there was some explanation for it. You know the picture of the sort of like Moorish looking; I don't even know what we were told he was.

[01:08:53:28]

PHOTO; DISSOLVE INTO PHOTO OF LAS

LS INTV: And I believed it. I believed I was white. We had a reason right there in our family tree of why I looked the way I did.

[01:09:34:05]

LAS AS ADOLESCENT WALKING THROUGH TREES; EATING BIRTHDAY CAKE; ROBERT EATING CAKE; LAS AS ADOLESCENT IN FIELD

LS INTV: So even though I knew there was something different about me. I didn’t want to admit it. I would find ways to reassure myself. I would tell myself my Dad gets really tan in the summertime or my Mom’s hair is really curly just like mine. And I could find ways to make it seem like you know what I really was just like my parents.

[01:09:05.17]

HOME VIDEO – CAMERA TILT TO THE SIDE

RS: Show us how you can stand on your side. Show us that trick. Oh great. Oh that’s terrific. How do you do that?

[01:09:16.00]

CU ON ROBERT

PEGGY MAKING SILLY FACE

[LOWER THIRD: ROBERT SCHWARTZ MY FATHER] RS: Try to hold the camera steady so it looks like I’m not too drunk.

Over there you have Peggy, [LOWER THIRD: PEGGY SCHWARTZ MY MOTHER] her sweat clothes.

[01:09:26.10]

HOME VIDEO – PEGGY IN ROBE + ATTIC

PS: My new motto: late to bed, early to rise makes a woman extremely ugly. [Laughter]

JUDY BLUME

[01:09:59:01]

JUDY BLUME MEMORY BOOK COVER, QUESTIONS, + LACEY’S ANSWERS, PHOTO OF LACEY

LS VO: The diary my parents gave me on my 11^th birthday makes it pretty clear I was feeling insecure. And school only made it worse.

Hair

[01:10:12:15]

PHOTOS OF LACEY AT GRADE SCHOOL W/ CLASSMATES

LS VO: All the girls in my class had long straight hair. I didn’t. And I hated it. Obviously I couldn’t do anything about my skin, but my hair was a different story.

[01:10:25:04]

HOME VIDEO – LACEY STRAIGHTENING OUT HAIR

LS: I like it, does this look good?

[01:10:29:19]

SAME AS ABOVE

RS: Yes it does.

[01:10:31:09]

SAME AS ABOVE

LS: I just have to make it a little flatter.

[01:10:35:05]

SAME AS ABOVE

UNKNOWN VO: Let's see a little happiness here we…

Bat Mitzvah

[01:10:37:09]

BAT MITZVAH HOME VIDEO – LACEY STEPS OUTSIDE

UKNOWN, VO [cont]: …go.

[01:10:38:20]

LACEY COMING OUT, PEGGY STEPS OUTSIDE

UNKOWN: Oh my gosh, oh is that sweet, I'm so proud of her. So proud of her you have no idea.

[01:10:45:19]

PEGGY CARRYING PLATE OF FOOD, SHE AND LACEY SMILE FOR CAMERA

PS: Today's the day, we did it. [Inaudible].

[01:10:52:05]

LACEY IN FRONT OF HOUSE; FAMILY GATHERING AS CAMERA PANS

LS VO: Except for that one conversation about my great-grandfather, my parents and I never talked about it again.

[01:11:09:05]

CONTINUE PAN.

RS VO: This is a movie camera, Marty.

[01:11:10:20]

CONTINUE PAN; MARTY MOVES AWAY AND WAVES

MARTY: Oh, it’s a movie? I didn’t know that, I thought it was a still. Okay!

[01:11:18:03]

EVERYONE DOES CIRCLE DANCE, LACEY HELD UP IN CHAIR, GRANDFATHER CUTS BREAD

GRANDFATHER: Tell her I can stop cutting.

[01:11:32:01]

BAT MITZVAH HOME VIDEO, BAT MITZVAH PHOTOS – LACEY LOOKING AT PEGGY, HOLDING TORAH, + SERIOUS PHOTO

[FAMILY TREE HERE?]

LS VO: At my bat mitzvah a member of the synagogue came up to me and my mother and said “It’s so nice, to have an Ethiopian Jew in our presence”. My mother said nothing. So I corrected the woman and explained that I wasn’t Ethiopian. But when she walked away, I remember feeling alone.

[01:12:13:06]

LACEY AND ELISSA WALKING STREETS OF WOODSTOCK, PEOPLE HANG OUT ON SIDEWALK

TEXT: WOODSTOCK, NY

[01:12:19:15]

Lacey and Elissa walking

LS: I haven't been in Woodstock in so long.

[01:12:21:08]

GUY IN WOODSTOCK PLAYING GUITAR

LS: Hi.

[01:12:27:27]

Lacey and Elissa walking

EF: Everything is exactly the same, things just like...these guys were here…

[01:12:31:03]

GUY IN WOODSTOCK PLAYING GUITAR W/ GROUP

EF [cont]: ... when I was in high school.

LS: These two people are really feeling the tunes.

[01:12:36:08]

Same as above

EF: This is authentic… right here.

[01:12:39:18]

Lacey and Elissa looking around Woodstock, people eating ice cream

PS INTV: Woodstock is a pretty liberal community. But there weren’t that many black people in Woodstock. Lacey’s friends from when she was a child – those are all white kids.

[01:12:49:17]

LACEY & ELISSA WALKING IN WOODSTOCK

LS INTV: There were no Black kids in my elementary school. None. It was a white world where race didn’t exist for us. It wasn’t talked about. So I didn’t really think anything about race.

[01:12:53:22]

PHOTO: LACEY IN TENNIS OUTFIT; CAMP, WITH FRIENDS, WITH FAMILY

[01:13:17:28]

HOME VIDEO – LACEY GETS READY FOR PROM

PS: She’s getting ready for prom, fussing as ever.

[01:13:22:14]

GROUP PHOTO FOR PROM

UNKNOWN: One, two, three.

[01:13:27:11]

PROM GROUP PHOTO, LACEY POSES ON BRIDGE

UNKNOWN: Big smile. Big smile. Ok.

LS VO: But when I got to high school it wasn’t so easy to ignore.

High School

[01:13:36:24]

TITLE CARD - KINGSTON HIGH SCHOOL, TRAVELING SHOT OF KINGSTON HIGH SCHOOL

TEXT: KINGSTON HIGH SCHOOL

LAS: I’m, like, exploring.

[01:13:43:11]

LACEY DRIVES CAR

[01:13:48:14]

LACEY IN CAR; LACEY LOOKS THROUGH WINDOW OF HIGH SCHOOL

LS: This is one cafeteria in there, in there in that room and this is another. This room is like stuck in 1996 and cannot get out. It looks exactly the same.

[01:14:03:19]

PICTURE OF SCHOOL CAFETERIA/YOUNG MALE STUDENT IN HALLWAYH PHOTO/FOOTAGE OF STUDENTS IN HALLWAY/ATHELTES WALKING IN GYM/THE SCHOOL BAND VIDEO/CHEERLEADER VIDEO

LS VO: I went to high school in Kingston – one town over from Woodstock, and much more diverse. Like in high schools everywhere the kids found ways to segregate themselves - jocks together, artsy types together, cheerleaders together. High school was really the first time in my life that I even crossed paths with black people.

[01:14:18:28]

HOME VIDEO OF LACEY IN HIGH SCHOOL; STUDENTS WALKING IN HS HALLWAYS; BW PHOTO OF LAS

LS VO: In the hallways the black kids would stare at me when I walked past them – it was weird – At first I actually thought they looked at all white people that way. But then I realized it was me…

[01:14:34:28]

LACEY INTV

LS INTV: The Black girls would stop me in the hallway and say, what are you? And like I was offending them and I would just tell them that I was white, that I was, you know, looked like my great-grandfather who is dark-skinned. I would tell them I was Jewish.

[01:14:51:20]

LACEY + SAMARA OUTSIDE

SAMARA: The Black girls in school would be like, well, you have to work some stuff out if you think that you know you're completely white. People definitely asked you, are you Black or why are you trying to be white?

[01:15:04:08]

PHOTOS - LACEY WITH GROUPS OF FRIENDS

LS VO: What those girls didn’t seem to understand was - I wasn’t trying to be white. I was white. Everyone in my life had always let me think so.

[01:15:16:26]

LACEY HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK PHOTO, PAN OUT TO OTHER STUDENT PHOTOS

Friends and Cousin Remember

[01:15:19:26]

ELISSA + LACEY IN WOODSTOCK AND TITLE CARD - ELISSA MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND

EF: I remember specific situations where I'd be like oh I'm going to hang out with [TEXT: ELISSA MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND] with my friend Lacey and they'd be like, oh Lacey is she adopted? And my friends being like I mean clearly she's Black and I'd be like , no, no, no she's white.

[01:15:33:14]

SAMARA + LACEY OUTSIDE

SAMARA: I always looked at you like you looked Black, right? But not that you were, I guess. You know it was like you were my best friend, you looked like you were Black but I knew both of your parents, I knew...you know to me you were just like a Jewish kid who...I don't know.

[01:15:57:09]

HOME VIDEO – MATT’S BAR MITZVAH W/ SCHWARTZ FAMILY, MATT + LACEY AT TRACK, AND TITLE CARD - MATTHEW MY COUSIN

MC: Clearly you weren't the same as us but it was [stumble] not like a touchy subject but like [TEXT: MATTHEW MY COUSIN]...I don't know like something that was never really comfortable.

[01:16:16:05]

MARY’S HOUSE – MARY TALKING

Mary: I don’t know if people [TEXT: MARY FAMILY FRIEND] knew it or sensed it or whatever… It just seems like the 600-pound gorilla in the room, to kind of just refuse to see it.

[01:16:30:08]

LACEY WITH ROBERT + PEGGY PHOTOS, + CORWIN PHOTO

LS VO: If you looked too closely at it it didn’t make any sense, so we didn’t look. We found ways to see what we wanted to believe.

Divorce

[01:16:46:27]

LACEY, PEGGY, AND ROBERT PHOTO

LS VO: Meanwhile at home my parent’s marriage started to unravel.

[01:16:55:01]

PHOTO OF PEGGY + ROBERT IN HOUSE, MIKE WITH PEGGY AND ROBERT, MIKE’S OFFICE

MF: At times they seemed like peas in a pod, other times I remember feeling uncomfortable; they would argue and argue openly.

[01:17:05:28]

MARCIA OUTSIDE + TITLE CARD - MARCIA MY AUNT

MC: Their relationship was better than most on the surface and I don’t think I found out that she wasn’t [TEXT: MARCIA MY AUNT] all that happy until years later.

[01:17:13:07]

PEGGY INTV

PS INTV: We did get along for a while and then we didn’t anymore and… and became not married.

[01:17:24:20]

MARY’S HOUSE

MF: I think what I remember the most clearly around that time was how your mother seemed literally to go to pieces. I mean…

[01:17:32:07]

HOME VIDEO – PEGGY LOOKING DISTRAUGHT,

MF [VO]: … she really fell apart.

[01:17:44:25]

HOME VIDEO – PEGGY PACKING BOXES; HOME VIDEO – LACEY LOOKING SPACED OUT, ON COUCH

LS VO: When my father packed up and left, like most kids, I thought the whole thing was my fault. But I was afraid to ask.

[01:17:48:25]

PEGGY SLEEPING ON COUCH; PHOTO OF ROBERT AT TABLE; ROBERT FISHING,

LS VO: My father was mad at my mother and mad at the world, and it even seemed like he was mad at me. When I was little we had always been really close.

[01:18:12:22]

LACEY FISHING

LACEY INTV

HOMEVIDEO OF ROBERT FISHING

LS VO: Now I felt abandoned and rejected by him – any time I tried to talk to him about it he either freaked out or ignored me. And I didn’t understand why.

LS INTV: You know I had such a strong sense when my parents were together of who I was - I was their daughter, and when they split up I really didn’t feel like I knew who I was.

Matt the Boyfriend

[01:18:37:15]

LACEY WALKING DOWN HALLWAY/MATT’S APT

LS VO: Then I met Matt.

LS: Hi. How are you?

[01:18:48:17]

MATT AND LACEY EMBRACE

MW: Good how are you?

[01:18:50:15]

TITLE CARD - MATT MY HIGHSCHOOL BOYFRIEND

LS: I'm good. [TEXT MATT MY HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND] This is a cool place. Can I see the rest of your apartment?

[01:18:56:24]

MATT AND LACEY IN APARTMENT

MW: Um, yes. That is the sometimes office that is getting rearranged.

[01:19:00:00]

PHOTOS – MATT + LACEY IN HIGHSCHOOL

LACEY INTV

LS VO/INTV: Matt’s father is black and his mother is white. In high school when we went out people would ask if we were brother and sister. And for the first time I started to doubt my parents’ story about my dark-skinned Italian ancestor.

[01:19:17:04]

MATT ON COUCH TALKING IN APT

PICTURE OF LACEY IN JAMAICA W/ BRAIDS

MW: I have such a profound memory of looking at your family pictures and being like come on this is…like you would have the pictures coming back from Jamaica with the braids and you’d get so dark

But how absurd it read to me, even as you know I was sixteen years old or something like that, I wasn’t like a man of the world or anything. Your family, your cousins and stuff and everyone was…even the adults?

[01:19:47:08]

2-SHOT OF MATT AND LACEY

LS: They heard the story and they went with it.

[01:19:50:25]

MATT AND LACEY IN APT

MW: White people will think anything, crazy things. I've known white people for a long time and just be like wow because for me it was relatively subconscious at that time. You know I think that's how race goes in a way. It became clear that there was this denial. I remember being so struck by it. By the weight of-of that type, those types of secrets and it was a couple of years before we even talked about it.

Applying to College (Establish Ambivalence)

[01:29:21:00]

MATT + LACEY HIGH SCHOOL PHOTOS + PROM PHOTO, HOME VIDEO OF LACEY GETTING READY FOR PROM/PICTURE OF TEENAGE LACEY IN GRET T-SHIRT

LS VO: Matt really wanted me to think about it. He hounded me about it. He pushed me. And I pushed back. I can't deal with this now, I'd say. My parents are in the middle of a divorce. But deep down his questions were getting to me.

[01:20:54:05]

LACEY GEORGETOWN PHOTO, GEORGETOWN CAMPUS, GEORGETOWN APPLICATION

LS VO: When it came time to apply to college – I decided I wanted to go to Georgetown. On their application I had to check a box.

[01:21:06:25]

LACEY INTV

SENIOR PHOTO

LS INTV: The only box I had ever known was white, I didn’t know what any of the others even meant for me so I just didn’t check anything. Georgetown required you to send in a picture and based off of a photograph I was admitted to college as a Black student. That moment when Georgetown said you’re Black it was a moment that…it was like they gave me permission to start entertaining the idea myself.

[01:21:24:19]

DRIVING; PHOTO OF LACEY ON TRAIN; LETTER

LS INTV: So when I got invited to the Black Student Alliance meeting – I went.

LS VO: And I kept on going––all through college and on into law school.

Georgetown

[01:22:05:09]

CAMPUS VIDEO; GEORGETOWN BLACK STUDENT ALLIANCE VIDEO

SAMUEL: My name is Samuel I'm from Ethiopia.

[01:22:09:09]

BSA VIDO CU ON UNKNOWN PERSON

UNKNOWN: I’m Said, I'm originally from [inaudible] Ethiopia.

[01:22:12:16]

SAME

JILANI: My name is Jilani Jefferson; I'm from New Orleans.

[01:22:15:14]

SAME

LS: My name is Lacey Schwartz; I grew up in Woodstock, New York.

[01:22:18:26]

SAME W/ SUBTITLES

UNKNOWN: You need to escape and you just want to be around some Black people this is you know, this is a great place for that.

[01:22:25:04]

FURTHERSHOTS OF BLACK STUDENTS ASSOCIATION; LACEY W PEOPLE

LS VO: And just like that I was welcomed into the Black community. Just because of one photo. Not unlike the photo of my great grandfather that 18 years earlier had made me white. It all seemed a little too easy. But at that point I was ready to try on a new identity.

HOME VIDEO OF PARTY – CU ON LACEY

BBQ

PICTURE WITH EBON

CLASSROOM VIDEOS

Professor: There are different narratives of racial identity in America and people can easily misunderstand each other because they come with assumptions of what it is to be a Black person.

LS VO: University was like Race 101: a crash course for a white person in what it means to be black.

I had always taken it for granted that what I accomplished was seen as a product of my own hard work. But I soon realized that my black friends felt they had to work harder to prove they deserved their success.

White people don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about their whiteness, but for black people blackness is everywhere – it was in the comics my friends referenced, the music being blasted in their dorm rooms and the smack they would talk when playing cards.

[01:22:49:04]

BROWN V BOARD OF ED PIC

PROTEST PICTURES

LACEY RESEARCHING AT GEORGETOWN LIBRARY, PHOTO – LACEY W/ CAMO BANDANA

LS INTV: There were moments in the beginning when I would walk into all these Black spaces and I would think how am I going to fit in or what’s it going to be like? Ya know - Would I dance the right way? Would I say the right things and they didn’t know all about the fact that I grown up and only known other white kids.

LS VO: As it turned out hanging [out] with black people put a lot of my insecurities to rest – the dark skin I always worried about was light skin to them and my bad hair became good hair.

My black friends looked at me and saw another Black person. Feeling like an outsider was something they could relate to [too] and that didn’t seem like a coincidence to me. For the first time in my life I felt like I belonged and somehow I just knew that Black was who I was.

Of course that meant that there was something my parents weren’t telling me. And I had no idea how to ask them about it. That’s when I went to therapy…

Therapy

[01:24:20:09]

LACEY IN THERAPIST ROOM DURING DIFFERENT DAYS

LS VO: I was taking a film class at the time and decided to tape my sessions.

[01:24:31:22]

LACEY SITTING ON COUCH IN THERAPY

SB: So I don't know where you want to begin.

[01:22:35:07]

LACEY ON COUCH -- DARK

LS: I don't know.

[01:22:39:20]

ON COUCH W/ STRIPED JACKET

LS: Because it's an unspoken thing, it's like there's a part of me that I feel like it's a charade.

[01:24:46:01]

ON COUCH W/ VEST; IN TANK TOP

SB: One of the reasons that you wanted to come and see me was that I had, not expertise in secrets, but I did specialize in that, that secrets create patterns.

[01:24:56:08]

ON COUCH IN GREEN POLO

LS: Like I do, there’s moments, where, like, I feel like an outsider. I can’t really tolerate, like, putting my stuff to the side anymore. So I feel like things are becoming, like, so difficult, and I’m getting tired of everything, physically exhausted.

[01:25:14:17]

SAME

SB: I am here to help you have this conversation; I do think you want to get some answers.

The Reveal

[01:25:23:10]

PHOTO OF YOUNG LACEY, DRIVING ON HIGHWAY TRAVELING SHOT, PHOTO OF LACEY AND PEGGY,

[01:25:47:07]

SAME AS ABOVE

LACEY INTV

LS VO/INTV: I came home from my freshman year of Georgetown and I had decided that I was going to ask my mother why I looked the way I did.

[01:25:56:04]

PEGGY INTV

PS INTV: Lacey came to me and said we have to talk It was like oh no, I’m scared.

[01:26:05:28]

LACEY INTV

LS INTV: She initially didn’t want to talk to me about it, she told me she couldn’t do it at that time, she had to something else first.

[01:26:11:07]

PEGGY INTV

PS INTV: My reaction was please make her be quiet, make her stop for a while.

[01:26:17:29]

LACEY INTV

LS INTV: And I told her I had to talk about it and I wanted to talk about why I looked the way I did.

[01:26:22:24]

PEGGY INTV

PS INTV: Lacey would ask how come you never talk to me about it? How come nobody ever talked to me about it?

[01:26:28:19]

LACEY INTV

LS INTV: And I said to her Mom you have to tell me.

[01:26:31:29]

PEGGY INTV

PS INTV: How come nobody saw that I was different?

How come nobody thought enough to come to me and say I know the truth?

[01:26:40:25]

LACEY INTV

LS INTV: And for whatever reason I decided that was the moment.

[01:26:42:26]

PEGGY INTV

PS INTV: She was pinning me; she wasn’t letting me go.

[01:26:47:24]

LACEY INTV

LS INTV: So she sat me down and she said the truth is I had an affair with Rodney […] and there’s a good chance that he’s your biological father.

Who is Rodney? (family tree?)

[01:27:03:18]

HOME VIDEO – PEOPLE PLAYING BASKETBALL, RODNEY TALKING TO SOMEONE, PHOTO – BOOK COVER ‘HEAVEN IS A PLAYGROUND’

LS VO: I had known Rodney for as long as I can remember. My mom had met him when she was 21 and working at a city playground back in Brooklyn. Rodney was the king of that park and when someone wrote a book about it, he became kind of a celebrity...

[01:27:22:20]

NEWS REEL AND HOME VIDEO OF RODNEY TEACHING KIDS BASKETBALL + SHOWING POSTER

HOME VIDEO: Forty-year old Rodney Parker has helped a few realize their dreams of becoming pros. He does promotional work in the city parks for a sneaker company but on the side works as a freelance scout, apparently for no pay. Jim McMillan, forward of the New York Knicks is his most noted discovery.

[01:27:39:07]

HOME VIDEO – RODNEY ANSWERS INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

RP: Players like [inaudible], the underground players, the players that nobody really you know looks at. The kid that's playing in the playground who may happen to have a little bit more skill than the other kid playing in the playground.

[01:27:48:05]

RODNEY AT BASKETBALL COURT TALKING TO PLAYERS

LS VO: As a child as far as I knew Rodney was a ticket scalper so he usually showed up when my mom and I would go into the city for a show or a concert.

[01:27:57:20]

PHOTO – ROBERT + PEGGY SPORTS HATS

LS VO: A couple times he even got me, my mom and my dad tickets to a Knicks game.

[01:28:10:11]

PHOTO AS ABOVE; MIKE’S OFFICE + PHOTO – B/W RODNEY AFRO

MF: I thought he was uh a close friend of your mom's. I knew about the park and I knew when I was desperate for a ticket, like to the Dylan 25 year reunion at the Garden, Rodney was the man.

[01:28:27:26]

MARY’S HOUSE

LS: You remember meeting Rodney for the first time?

[01:28:29:12]

MARY’S HOUSE

MF: Yes.

[01:28:30:00]

SAME

LS: Tell me about meeting Rodney for the first time.

[01:28:31:05]

MARY’S HOUSE CONT; VINTAGE NYC ARCHIVAL PHOTO MACY’S + MARY’S HOUSE, ARCHIVAL PHOTO HIGHWAY

MF: It was...your mom and I had gone to the city to do some shopping and we were crossing 34th Street and your mom said, "Oh there's my friend Rodney." Now of course afterwards I knew that every time we ever ran into Rodney it wasn't like oh there's my friend Rodney, it was that she had been talking to him and she said we'll be on 34th Street at 2:07, but at that moment it seemed very [inaudible] oh there's my friend Rodney. I remember driving home that day on the FDR and asking your mom, did you have an affair with Rodney?

[01:29:05:04]

PICTURE OF PEGGY LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW

MF: And she said no. But when I met Rodney I said to myself, ok I get it.

[01:29:11:02]

MARY’S HOUSE

MF: That's really who Lacey looks like.

[01:29:14:18]

PHOTO – LACEY WITH BRAIDS

LACEY INTV

PEGGY, LACEY, ROBERT FAMILY PIC

LS INTV: I really didn’t know what to think. There was a large part of me that’s really relieved that felt like I finally knew the truth but then I didn’t know what else to say.

[01:29:39:15]

PHOTO OF LACEY W/ PARENTS; OUTSIDE WITH SAMARA

S: It really is the power of denial. How the hell did you not… or not you, but how did anybody sort of not acknowledge this?

[ [01:29:49:06]

MARY’S HOUSE

MF: How do you have a daughter with another man who clearly doesn’t look like anybody in the family? She has the remarkable ability to look away from things and therefore they don’t happen. They don’t exist. They’re not real.

[01:30[[01:30:03:03]

PHOTO – RODNEY SMILING TO LACEY ON COURT

MW: I remember sitting at the table at some family function with Rodney and your mother and…

[01:30:10:14]

MATT’S APT

MW [cont]: …it being so apparent that this was your father, from my eyes you know I mean it just seemed so clear. And I remember your father talking about how he had drank a lot the night before and Rodney couldn't believe that he went out for a run that morning. And I'm like dude, that's what you couldn't believe?... But you and I didn’t talk about it.

[01:30:35:12]

MARY’S HOUSE + PHOTO – RODNEY AT DINNER W/ FAMILY

MF: That was so weird [laugh]. That was as about as blatantly throwing it in people's faces as you could do and... and having people look away.

[01:30:47:16]

LACEY FAMILY HOME VIDEO

PHOTOS OF LACEY WITH GEORGETOWN GROUP

PHOTO – LACEY W/ BLACK GEORGETOWN

SWEAT SHIRT/LACEY INTV/PHOTO OF LACEY W/ BLACK FRIENDS/LACEY W/ GROUP OF DIVERSE FRIENDS

LAS WORKING AT COMPUTER IN LIBRARY

LS VO: My mom had been lieing to me and everyone else for my entire life – it seemed pretty obvious to me that the affair had to be a factor in my parent’s divorce. I was so angry with her I could barely speak to her. I couldn’t wait to get back to school.

[01:32:04:20]

LACEY TOASTING WITH FRIENDS

BR: So we all return here as students next year, next semester.

[01:32:45:20]

LACEY + GEORGETOWN FRIENDS PHOTOS

LACEY AT PICNIC

LAS INTV

LAS IN KITCHEN W BROOKE

LS VO: Now that I knew that I had a black parent – that I was actually black. I wasn’t sure what to do with the part of myself that was White.

[01:33:00:20]

LAS IN CAMO SCARF

LACEY PROTEST PHOTO

[01:33:13:06]

ENTERING MEHRET’S HOUSE; PRIMPING IN HOUSE

GROUP: Hi!

Racial Closet

[01:33:19:01]

LACEY WITH ZUHAIRAH AND MEHRET IN APT, FIXING HAIR

FRIEND: Do you want it up or...

[01:33:23:05]

CU ON LACEY

LS: I only like straighten my hair like once a year.

[01:33:25:27]

LOOKING AT HAIR IRON

MEHRET: It works and it...it's good for bangs. Yeah…

[01:33:34:27]

MEHRET’S APT INTV

LS: Let me ask you a question. Is being bi-racial, half-black/half-white, a category of being black? Like I think of it…

ZUHAIRAH: Definitely…

[01:33:41:05]

MEHRET’S APT INTV

MEHRET COLLEGE FRIEND TITLE CARD

MEHRET: Yeah.

LS: I think of it that way I identify as black. Like being mixed is a category of being black. Being mixed to me is not a category of being white.

[01:33:42:03]

MEHRET’S APT INTV

ZUHAIRAH COLLEGE FRIEND TITLE CARD

ZUHAIRAH: It’s so funny because you know the one drop rule – right? So it’s like one drop of black blood you black so there’s all these people who we accept in. You know like tiger and his cabalasion self. Everyone’s like – yeah – we are claiming that. It is an inclusive-It is… It’s beyond race to me. Like even when I was in India recently. Its kind of brown people. Like after there were no black people I was like the Indian girl looked cool. I was like “Hey girl! [LAUGHING] Some brown in the building. It’s a common connection with sort of being kind of the underdog in some way- not being accepted and really walking into a room where people are like I accept you.

[01:34:33:16]

MEHRET’S APT INTV

LS: For me you know I grew up my whole life with people constantly asking me why I look the way I did. So maybe I identify as being black because I want to be a part of the black community. Being black feels good for me.

[01:34:38:14]

MEHRET’S APT INTV

ZUHAIRAH: Cause it’s being true to yourself. I mean it’s being true to who you are – because it is such a hodge podge of people in many ways you can be Lacey from Woodstock – you know – from the parents of Peggy Schwartz- it’s like ok… and I think there is power in identifying yourself as white. I mean as making white folks accept you as part of being white.

[01:35:00:10]

MEHRET’S APT INTV

LS: sigh

MEHRET: So can we get ready for my party please?

LS:Yes. Cheers!

[01:35:12:14]

PUTTING DOWN IRON; WALKING TO RESTAURANT; LACEY AT RESTAURANT WITH FRIENDS

LS VO: Being true to myself meant being both white and black. But when it came to my family – I kept the black part under wraps.

[01:35:24:01]

LACEY WITH FAMILY AT PASSOVER

LS VO: In my parents world…

[01:35:26:09]

SAME

LS: Hallelujah, praise o ye servants of the eternal. Praise ye the name of the eternal.

[01:35:32:06]

LACEY WITH FAMILY AT PASSOVER

LS VO: I was still a nice Jewish girl with two white Jewish parents.

[Low voice in background praying].

[01:35:40:14]

PHOTO – HOME VIDEO OF LACEY’S FAMILY

PEGGY INTV

ROBERT & LACEY WALK LUCY

PS INTV: After Lacey and I acknowledged Lacey’s parentage, it still wasn’t discussed between Robert and Lacey and it wasn’t discussed between Robert and me. So I still was on egg shells and Lacey was on egg shells also.

[01:35:55:15]

LACEY INTV

LACEY & ROBERT WALK LUCY

[01:36:02:28]

SAME

LS: Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Dad, I didn’t do it on purpose. Sorry, Lucy.

[01:37:00:04]

SAME

LS VO:I didn’t know what my father did or didn’t know. I only knew that being black was connected to breaking his heart.

LS INTV: It was really scary like what would happen if I talked about it? I was afraid of not being a part of the world that I had grown up in anymore.

[01:37:24:07]

RS + LS TALK TO WOMAN WALKING DOG

RS: Hello.

[01:37:27:25]

SAME

LS: Hi.

[01:37:40:20]

SAME

RS: Are they related?

[01:37:42:10]

SAME

WOMAN: They have the same father so yeah.

[01:37:44:26]

SAME

RS: Do they know it?

Getting to Know Rodney/Kristin

[01:37:34:26]

PHOTO – LACEY W/ RODNEY + FRIENDS, CU ON RODNEY, HOME VIDEO OF RODNEY AT BASKETBALL COURT

LS VO: I kept my white world and my black world segregated. But I needed to keep exploring who I was so I tried to get to know Rodney on my own. After college, I was living in NY; so was he. We spent some weekend afternoons together.

[01:37:56:18]

RODNEY AT COURT; PEOPLE PLAYING

RODNEY: This is one of my main kids right here, Chris Sanders…

[01:38:01:25]

PLAYING AT COURT; RODNEY TALKING TO PEOPLE ON SIDELINE

LS VO: I wondered if I would share a bond with him as a black person that I didn’t share with my white family.

[01:38:14:25]

SAME

LS VO: But I didn’t feel it. And as much as I tried, the time I spent with him didn’t change that.

[01:38:33:28]

PHOTO – RODNEY W/ KIDS, RODNEY W/ KRISTIN

LS VO: At one point he introduced me to his other children. He had seven by a few different women. Kristin was the youngest and closest to my age. She had also grown up as an only child.

[01:38:47:21]

KRISTIN, LACEY ON HI LINE

LS VO: Now suddenly we were sisters.

[01:38:52:13]

CU ON KP

KP: So like to finally have a sister and like suddenly see the resemblance, I guess for me was, um…

[01:38:57:10]

CU ON LACEY

LACEY INTV

LS INTV: We spent some time together and I just didn’t feel the connection to her or to Rodney. It wasn’t her they were strangers to me.

[01:39:06:06]

WALKING AWAY

KP: So do you wear your hair curly mostly?

[01:39:09:13]

WALKING AWAY

LS: Like almost solely.

[01:39:15:19]

FAMILY TREE PHOTOS + MAP IN BACKGROUND, NYC WINTER, TRAVELING SHOT LACEY DRIVING CAR IN NYC

LS VO: I didn’t know where I belonged. Rodney was not my father. And my real father had no idea who I [actually] was.

[01:39:40:24]

NYC SKYLINE IN WINTER – ESTABLISHING

LS VO: Then, shortly before my 30th birthday, my mother called and told me that Rodney had died.

Rodney's Funeral

[01:39:53:21]

LACEY DRIVING; LACEY + PEGGY ENTER RODNEY’S FUNERAL

[01:40:10:05]

FUNERAL HALL ATRIUM

LS: Hi. How are you?

[01:40:12:25]

FUNERAL HALL HALLWAY

PS: This is my daughter Lacey.

[01:40:15:19]

SAME

LS: Hi.

[01:40:18:29]

SAME

FUNERAL ATTENDEE: Hi Lacey, how are you doing?

[01:40:20:09]

SAME

LS: Fine, how are you? Hi.

[01:40:22:07]

HALLWAY; NEW GROUP

AJ: Hi, my name is Albert James.

[01:40:24:22]

SAME

LS: Hi, nice to meet you Lacey.

[01:40:25:18]

GROUP MOVING INTO HALL

ROBERT: Nice to meet you, my name is Robert.

[01:40:26:05]

SAME

LS: Hi.

[01:40:27:21]

SAME

ROBERT: Oh god, many memories of, of your dad, here's my card. When you’re…

[01:40:34:01]

SAME

FUNERAL ATTENDEE: You're one of his daughters also?

[01:40:35:26]

SAME

LS: Yeah.

[01:40:36:16]

BUSTLE OF FUNERAL

[Inaudible murmur of crowd]

[01:40:38:00]

SHAKING HANDS WITH FUNDERAL ATTENDEE

FUNERAL ATTENDEE: You're not the one that drove down from Manhattan? That played the piano?

[01:40:42:26]

CU ON ATTENDEE’S FACE

LS: No.

[01:40:44:20]

HALL; NEW GROUP

LADY: Going to need a scorecard to keep track of you.

[01:40:46:16]

SAME

FUNERAL ATTENDEE: A scorecard? I need an encyclopedia.

[01:40:54:12]

LS WALKING DOWN HALL; INSIDE CHAPEL

[01:41:02:23]

LACEY APPROACHES COFFIN

LS: It's so strange.

[01:41:10:22]

PEGGY LOOKS AT COFFIN; LACEY SITTING LISTENING TO SPEAKER

LS VO: I sat with Rodney’s other children in the front row, but I felt out of place.

[01:41:23:09]

CU ON FACES IN PEW; WIDE SHOT OF HALL

SPEAKER 1: I'll recite this poem, "To My Black Brothers." It says I want to be my own man, don't want to...

[01:41:30:10]

PEGGY CRYING WITH MARCIA

LS VO: Behind me was my mother and some other family members who had come to support her. If any of them knew that Rodney was my biological father none of them had ever said so to me.

[01:41:47:10]

LISTENING TO SPEAKER 2 IN PEW

SPEAKER 2: Rodney is survived by his daughters Suzette Michelle Parker Crusas, Kristen Marissa Parker and Lacey Schwartz.

[01:41:58:17]

LOOKING AT PHOTO OF LS AND RP IN HANDOUT; LS AND OTHERS LISTENING IN PEWS; LACEY INTV

LS INTV: When I was announced as one of his children – during the service- I knew that there was no going back – that in my white family then knew that I was black.

[01:42:10:04]

WALKING IN HALLWAY IN FUNERAL HOME; HUGGING MATT

MATT: How are you?

[01:42:11:28]

SAME

LS: It’s weird. It’s weird.

[01:42:15:29]

SAME

MATT: I’m sure. Hanging in there?

[01:42:18:13]

SAME

LS: Yeah, you know. It’s just weird.

[01:42:25:02]

CU ON LS; HALLWAY

PS INTV: My cousins were there and I had friends that were there and it was a very uncomfortable situation. Lacey knew that her family would be watching her and seeing how she reacted, but nobody discussed it openly.

Confronting Extended Family

[01:42:49:26]

LACEY DRIVING, TRAVELING SHOT

LS VO: The funeral was the last straw. My family seemed fine to pretend about who I was, but I was done letting them.

[01:43:04:20]

LACEY + JOSH OUTSIDE

JC: I remember the very first time that I ever put two and two together.

[01:43:07:20]

MATT AT TRACK

MC: When I started realizing that you were changing, kind of changing, not necessarily who you associated yourself with, or, not associated yourself with, but how you viewed yourself, or – and I think that’s kind of when I started thinking that race was going to play a bigger role.

[01:43:24:22]

LACEY WITH BRUCE OUTSIDE

BRUCE: Do you feel it necessary to say to yourself, I’ve made a decision, I am a white woman, or I am a black woman, or I am a combination of each, or, I’m curious as to.

[01:43:35:29]

SAME

LS: Yeah, no, I think of myself as like somebody who is bi-racial and half of my race is Black I think of myself, like I'm like a category of Black. I don’t identify as somebody who is white.

[01:43:46:12]

SAME

BRUCE: Okay. That’s fair.

[01:43:49:24]

JOSH OUTSIDE

LS: I mean, do you think of me as black?

[01:43:53:17]

SAME

JC: Today, I think, is the first time that you and I have ever spoken those words to each other. To say, like, do I think of you as black, like, what does that mean?

[01:44:03:15]

SAME

LS: I mean, how do you view me?

MATT + LACEY OUTSIDE

MATT: As my cousin. I was naive to any concept of... for lack of a better descriptor, race. I never really viewed you as, as, as- white or black or anything. And like it never really was something I even thought about.

[01:44:05:19]

MARY’S HOUSE

MARY: Well, I think I think of you as black because you think of yourself as black. I think mostly I think of you as Lacey.

[01:44:12:01]

BRUCE + LACEY OUTSIDE

LS: My father and I have never talked about it in any way my paternity, my race, anything.

[01:44:22:02]

SAME

BC: How bizarre is that? You know, I mean really...

[01:44:29:02]

SAME

LS: I’m worried about talking to him. How do I say to him “I need to talk to you”?

[01:44:48:16]

SAME

LS: I’ve promised myself, that I would never have children and never be on the New York State Thruway on my way up and say, like, “Remember, Grandpa doesn’t know Mommy’s black.”

Porch with Dad (Confronting Father)

[01:45:00:27]

ESTABLISHING SHOT OF HOUSE

TEXT: MY FATHER’S HOME

[01:45:06:16]

LACEY + ROBERT AT ROBERT’S HOUSE ON PATIO

LS: Dad I really want to talk to you. When I...I mean there's a lot to talk about and I think that...you know...I would say, God...I mean it's two conversations...there's certain things that I...I'm being a little bit vague for a second but there are certain things that I want to...I would like to talk to you about but there's a difference between saying what I like to do and what I need to do and one of the things that I realize that I need to say is I need to openly acknowledge to you that I identify as a Black woman.

[01:45:50:01]

SAME

RS: What a surprise.

[01:45:52:22]

SAME

LS: But I've never said that to you Dad.

[01:45:54:29]

SAME

RS: Alright, well, you didn't have to.

[01:45:57:09]

SAME

LS: And the reason I...

[01:46:01:08]

SAME

RS: I see the books you read, I see the relationships you have, I see the music you like, I see the um the entertainment realm that appeals to you. Ok, what else is new? I knew that.

Groceries

[01:46:27:00]

LACEY + ROBERT ON PATIO

LS INTV: In the end I just felt dismissed by him, like he didn't... Like maybe he was ashamed of me, like he didn't want to, he wasn't willing to go there with me. And I felt like I so desperately needed to understand and so I decided I had to really talk to my mother.

[01:46:35:00]

PEGGY GRABBING GROCERIES INTO THE HOUSE

PS: Lace, the operative word in we have to unload is we.

[01:47:02:08]

LACEY INSIDE

LS: Okay.

[01:47:03:01]

LACEY BRINGING IN GROCERIES

LS: Alright.

[01:47:06:02]

SAME

PS: Ok, I think that's all from the back, right?

Kitchen (Confronting Mother)

[01:47:13:10]

LACEY + PEGGY INSIDE PEGGY’S HOUSE, PEGGY COOKING

LS: Mom, when you got married you got married in what year?

[01:47:15:18]

SAME

PS: 1968.

[01:47:17:06]

SAME

LS: In 1968 and then you lived where?

[01:47:19:28]

SAME

PS: Um Forest Hills.

[01:47:21:12]

SAME

LS: And did you know Rodney before that or after that?

[01:47:34:11]

SAME

PS: I met Rodney when I got a job in the Parks Department.

[01:47:36:08]

SAME

LS: What year did you get a job at the Parks Department?

[01:47:37:25]

SAME

PS: 1968.

[01:47:43:07]

SAME

LS: The same year you got married.

[01:47:44:00]

PEGGY PULLING ON PLASTIC WRAPPER; CU ON PS FACE; CU ON LS

PS: Yes.

[01:47:46:00]

PS, LS IN KITCHEN

LS: Because then I wasn't born until '77.

[01:47:47:26]

CU ON PS

PS: Right.

[01:47:48:08]

CUs on PS, LS

LS: When were you first with him? Mother just tell me.

[01:47:52:14]

LS CU

PS: 1968.

[01:43:59:00]

SAME

LS: Before or after you got married?

[01:48:01:11]

PAN TO PS

PS: Before. Oh my God.

[01:48:08:20]

CU ON PS; PS COOKING

LS: When did you tell daddy that you had been having an affair with Rodney?

[01:48:10:27]

SAME

PS: I never did.

[01:48:17:29]

PS COOKING

LS: Did daddy know?

[01:48:21:23]

SAME

PS: Yes. You know about the time when his wife attacked me?

LS: What?

PS: This is what happened, there was Rodney and there was his wife and his wife and I were kind of friendly but obviously she found out that there was whatever else was happening. So Rodney's wife came to visit me and she and I were sitting in the car and all of the sudden she takes out a razor blade.

[01:48:42:02]

2-SHOT ON PS AND LS

LS: [Gasp]

[01:48:44:27]

PS SHOWS LS THE SCAR ON HER HAND

PS: She takes out a razor blade, did you ever see this? See the scar I have here, here, see that?

[01:48:49:11]

SAME

LS: No way, I didn't know this story. No. Did this happen before I was born?

[01:48:53:01]

CU ON PS’S HAND

PS: Yes.

[01:48:59:24]

SCAR; CU ON PEGGY

PS: Alright well anyway, so she takes out a razor blade and this is going to burn...and she goes to slash me in the face so I go like this...so now the police come and they arrest her so of course...

[01:49:19:28]

CU ON LS

LS: Did you tell daddy Rodney's wife tried to slash me?

[01:49:20:25]

SAME

PS: Yeah.

[01:49:23:22]

PS, LS 2-SHOT

LS: Did daddy already know you had had an affair with Rodney?

[01:49:26:12]

SAME

PS: No.

[01:49:33:04]

ZOOM ON LACEY

LS: Until you got slashed?

[01:49:35:20]

LS CU

PS: He basically said to me then you know whatever has happened, let's put it aside and let's go about our business and that was the last conversation we had about that.

[01:49:45:26]

PEGGY WALKING ACROSS KITCHEN; LS AND PS

PS: The fact is if the man with whom I had the affair hadn't been Black none of this would have come out.

[01:50:00:13]

LACEY IN KITCHEN WATCHING PEGGY

[01:50:27:03]

Running

LS VO: A lifetime of lies had torn my family apart. I hoped that talking about the truth could put it back together.

[01:50:44:18]

Phone Message

Voicemail: First saved message:

RS (on message): Hi Lace, it’s Dad. I’ve been giving some thought about our conversation, and, um, it’s not a good time for me to talk to you, so, uh, I’m not wanting to introduce new sources of stress and complications, so, um, I’ll pick a time when I feel, uh, more calm and peaceful about my life. Right now I’m pretty stressed out, I haven’t shared things with you, so, talk to you later. Bye.

Foster Park

[01:51:30:09]

TITLE CARD - TEXT: FLATBUSH, BROOKLYN, PEGGY + LACEY DRIVE TO FLATBUSH, TRAVELING SHOT OF FLATBUSH PARKS + STREETS

LS VO: The more my father pushed me away, the more I pressed my mother for details.

[01:51:40:03]

STREETS OF NY; PEGGY INDICATING IN CAR

PS: This is it, because I remember walking on this street.

[01:51:45:13]

SIGN FOR NOSTRAND PLAYGROUND. TITLE CARD - FOSTER PARK, LACEY + PEGGY WALK AT FOSTER PARK

PS: … there it is. TEXT: FOSTER PARK

[01:51:52:08]

LS, PS WALKING IN PARK

PS: So this is where I worked.

[01:51:54:01]

SAME

LS: This is how you walk in? Is this it?

[01:51:55:09]

SAME

PS: This is it.

[01:51:57:01]

LACEY + PEGGY ON BASKETBALL COURT

LS: What was this neighborhood like then?

[01:51:59:09]

LACEY + PEGGY WALK THROUGH BASKETBALL COURT

PS: It was just the way it is now, it's exactly what it was like; this was a Black neighborhood.

[01:52:05:13]

ON BASKETBALL COURT

LS: Apparently it still is [laughing].

[01:52:07:19]

SAME

PS: I'm saying.

[01:52:11:08]

PEOPLE PLAYING BASKETBALL

LS: When you first started working here were you like what am I doing here?

[01:52:15:06]

PEGGY TALKING

PS: I had no clue what I was doing. I was 21 years old and I was white and Jewish and I was charge of this playground and...

[01:52:23:23]

SAME

PS: See right up there? That’s where Rodney lived.

[01:52:25:20]

SAME

LS: Oh, he lived right here?

[01:52:26:19]

SAME

PS: He lived right there. See that top...that top floor? Here’s the thing about Rodney. It was very appealing to know that there was somebody that I could snap my fingers and he’d come running.

[01:52:43:24]

SAME; LONG SHOT OF WALKING ON COURT

LS: So after I was born...

[01:52:46:24]

PEOPLE PLAYING ON COURT

LS: When do you think you realized that I was Rodney’s daughter?

[01:52:51:08]

PS, LAS SITTING

PS: Well, let’s back up. We know the infamous – daddy and the grandfather, daddy and the Sicilian grandfather.

[01:53:02:02]

SAME

LS: Yes.

[01:53:04:11]

SAME

PS: We know that, I wanted to believe that so badly that I probably latched onto that so was able to kind of not think about it and then Rodney would say, "look at that kid, she looks just like me." And I would say no she doesn't. What… it took me years to say to him yeah, you're right, she does. And it wasn't because I was lying, I mean I didn't see it really and then maybe once I

[01:48:27:12]

SAME

PS: started seeing it I chose to ignore it but he would talk about it and after awhile I couldn't deny it so when it finally got to the point that I had to be honest with myself and I couldn’t deny it, I would say Robert is her father. Robert is her father. Robert is the person that raised her. Robert is the person that was there with her every day. Robert is the person that is at school functions. Robert is her father.

[01:53:03:14]

SAME

LS: So why did you stay with daddy?

[01:54:06:01]

SAME

PS: The reason was, I had an extremely sexual relationship with Rodney, but there were things missing.

LS: But…

PS: The fact is that daddy was interesting, daddy was funny, daddy was a person who made a decent amount of money. That’s the reason I stayed with daddy.

[01:54:31:20]

SAME

LS: How much do you think the fact that Rodney was not a real option for you had to do with him being black?

[01:54:36:01]

SAME

PS: I think it had nothing to do with it whatsoever.

[01:54:38:21]

SAME

LS: Nothing? How could it have nothing to do with it?

[01:54:49:28]

SAME

PS: You’re asking me, I’m telling the truth. It had nothing to do with it whatsoever.

[01:54:53:07]

SAME

LS: You know the fact is that whatever happened with you and daddy and that inability to talk about things, that is what I carry on. So much of what I did is connected to who I was and nobody talked about who I was. I can't talk to daddy about who I am. I can't talk to daddy about who I am in terms of...it's not that like you know being Black is everything but it's part of who I am and if I can't share all of who I am with him and why can't I share all of who I am with him? Because you had an affair. Because nobody talked about everything. Because it was all secrets.

Extended Family Explains Father

[01:55:21:02]

HOME VIDEO OF ROBERT ON LAKE; LACEY + BRUCE OUTSIDE

[01:55:49:02]

SAME

BC: I think your Dad was in great agony and some of which he shared with me, some of which he didn't. When you were sixteen, he said something to me that was very poignant. He said, "My whole life was a lie. I lived a lie."

[01:56:06:16]

SAME

LS: Right.

[01:56:08:07]

SAME; MARY’S HOUSE; FAMILY PHOTOS

MF: I think you know your father saw you every day as living proof that your mom had betrayed the marriage. He was the center of this huge secret, it was a big thing that happened to him, that was circling around him. It was a big thing that happened to him. Maybe he was never ever able to separate that act happening to him from you.

Robert's Office (Lacey & Father Discuss the Affair)

[01:56:39:17]

TRAVELING SHOT, CU OF ROBERT’S SIGN, LACEY ENTERS HOUSE

LACEY INTV

LS INTV: I know that there is something that was lost between us when we each found out that I wasn’t his biological child and how do I get past that?

[01:57:00:05]

LACEY + ROBERT INSIDE ROBERT’S HOUSE

LS: Good morning father, give me a hug.

[01:57:02:19]

SAME

RS: [Inaudible].

[01:57:12:29]

SAME

PICTURE OF BABY LACEY IN ROBERT’S OFFICE

[01:57:19:21]

SITTING IN ROBERT’S STUDY

LS: I mean dad, it’s no secret that mommy had an affair. Did she ever tell you that she did?

[01:57:33:20]

SAME

RS: She never talked to me even about that and ad a ad a ad a da and life goes on our merry way of poor communication and chaos and... I mean don’t you think she should have told me?

[01:57:52:26]

SAME

LS: Yeah, but my question for you is you know once you and mommy got divorced why did you never talk to me about not being my biological father?

[01:58:01:09]

SAME

RS: About what?

[01:58:02:29]

SAME

LS: About not being my biological father.

[01:58:06:06]

SAME

RS: Because it was mommy’s...mommy’s business. I didn’t have a clue Lace. I would always tell people, oh yeah, my grandfather’s Italian, that’s why Lacey looks like she does. And I believed it. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t fucking know until age sixteen. Talk about betrayal, it’s the ultimate. Cheat on your husband, ok that’s pretty bad. Don’t tell him that you’re having somebody else’s child for sixteen years, or forever, for that matter, she still hasn’t told me but we all know. And talk about the ultimate betrayal.

[01:58:40:25]

SAME

RS: Talk about the ultimate betrayal just think about that. You had no idea how things were.

[01:58:52:16]

SAME

LS: You’re right, I didn’t. You’re right.

[01:58:59:25]

SAME

LS: Maybe you and mommy had a relationship where you didn’t talk about things but I’m not that person and there is absolutely no question for either of us who you are to me as my father and who I am to you as your daughter. I think it’s been difficult for me to acknowledge certain aspects of my life because it implicated things that we didn’t talk about and I have not shared with you certain aspects of my life and that going forward I want to change that.

[01:59:30:29]

SAME

RS: Ok well time will tell, let that play out.

[01:59:13:14]

LACEY DRIVING AWAY IN CAR

[01:59:33:21]

LACEY IN CAR; MONTAGE: HOME VIDEO OF NEWBORN LACEY, PEGGY CLEANING, ROBERT AND PEGGY DANCING

LS INTV: After I finally talked to my father, I realized that... In my mind I'd had this, like, utopia that we were all going to heal together and we were all going to move forward with our lives... But... in the end, I couldn't heal my parents. I couldn't change what had happend to them...I needed to accept them for who they were, just like I wanted them to accept who I was.

Cards with Peggy

[02:00:26:27]

EXT OF PEGGY’S HOUSE

LS: Mom, you really want to go through all those boxes tonight?

[02:00:28:09]

PEGGY + LACEY IN PEGGY’S HOUSE

PS: A whole box to do?

[02:00:30:06]

SAME

LS: Maybe we should just skip it.

[02:00:32:09]

SAME

PS: Alright let’s go.

[02:00:33:13

SAME

LS: Here are your engagement cards.

[02:00:39:25]

SAME

PS: This is definitely daddy’s handwriting. Look at this, this is what daddy wrote, “I never really read too carefully any card but this card says just what you mean to me.”

[02:00:48:05]

SAME

PS: I love you Peggy Susan. God were daddy and I corny, or at least I was. I loved daddy then.

[02:00:59:27]

SAME

LS: What is this?

[02:01:03:24]

SAME

PS: This was my wedding dress. Oh my God! That must have been my bouquet.

[02:01:09:10]

SAME

PS: Oh my God, Lacey look this is our engagement announcement. So we got engaged on May 6^th, I think we separated on May 8^th. Whoa! [Laughs]

Dinner with Peggy (Lacey & Mother Resolution)

[02:01:29:20]

PEGGY + LACEY IN PEGGY’S HOUSE AT DINNER TABLE

PS: If I could've done my life differently, would I have had a committed marriage? Yes. I would've taken care of my marriage or gotten out but if I had done that I wouldn't have had you. So there are a lot of things I would have done differently but in the end not really. The dangerous thing is when you have a marriage that's troubled and you have somebody else, you never take care of your problems because you don't have to, because you can just ignore it

[02:02:05:18]

SAME

PS: and go about your business and this other person will make you feel really wonderful, but sometimes you do things that are just of the moment and you're not...it's not like you're being hedonistic or being mean or being horrible, it's just of the moment and it's...you're not really aware of the consequences.

[02:02:30:28]

SAME

PS: But before I was your mother, I was a person and I was a girl and I was a woman and I was me and I think that's the most honest explanation I can give you, that that's...that's the truth.

[02:03:03:09]

LS AND PS OUTSIDE WALKING TOWARDS POND

[02:03:08:03]

PEGGY + LACEY OUTSIDE BY POND

.

Wedding

[02:03:40:12]

LACEY GETTING WEDDING DRESS ON WITH FRIENDS

[02:04:23:12]

SAME

Friend: Oh, that looks beautiful.

[02:04:31:00]

PHOTO – MARRIAGE LICENSE,

LS VO: I’d spent the first half of my life being defined by the world my parents had created for me. And the second half feeling defined by their secrets and lies.

[02:04:50:26]

FAMILY TREE W/ MAP IN BACKGROUND

[02:05:30:18]

WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER TAKING PICTURES; WEDDING CEREMONY; PEGGY, ROBERT, + LACEY GET READY AT AISLE, ROBERT + PEGGY WALK LACEY DOWN THE AISLE;

LS VO: But the truth was on the table now… And I was ready to define my future for myself.

MEDIATOR: This is a celebration of love. It's a celebration that brings two individuals from different cultural experiences and different religious experiences and so love allows them to come together and fall in love with each other and have transcended the external accidents of race or color.

[02:05:57:04]

LACEY AND ANTONIO HOLD HANDS; SHOTS OF PEOPLE AT WEDDING, BRIDESMAIDS, ETC

LS VO: I’d put a lot of thought into the issue of changing my last name. As a kid I never really liked Schwartz, but now, after everything, it seemed perfect for me - a clearly Jewish name that literally means black.

[02:06:30:28]

LACEY + ANTONIO STEP ON GLASS, EVERYONE APPLAUDS, THEY KISS

[02:07:57:00]

TITLE CARD - END CREDITS + WEDDING AFTER PARTY, EVERYONE DANCES, LACEY + ANTONIO LIFTED IN CHAIRS

TEXT: END CREDITS; SONG OVER EVERYTHING