Amina Benjamin:              I'm a [toukamani 00:00:31]. I wash the dead. I do this now for about 10 years. I'm not afraid of dying. We come from Allah and we must go back to Allah. And just one night I got the call that my own son was shot by gangsters.

Amina Benjamin:              When I got the news I, it was just after I come from my salah, my Fajr salah in the morning, early salah. And I was just getting in bed again and then the knock came onto my window. And this lady said to me that my son, they shot my son and he's passed away. And immediately I said, "Alhamdulillah praise be to Allah." And that's it. And that is that, and I woke my husband. And he still, he didn't want to stand up, he was in a, I don't know he was shocked. But I was by my full senses and I got to my, I called my daughter and I said to her, "We must go there, go see where he is." And we left.

Amina Benjamin:              And I walked through the street and I came there and I didn't even, I wasn't hysterical in there. People was looking at me. They said, "Oh, are you in denial or whatever?" I wasn't in denial. Say, "Oh, you had tragedy in your life. It was a great tragedy." So I said, "No it's not a tragedy. That was a blessing for me, because he had to go with me to Mecca. And Allah took him away but then his brother was in his place, and I represented him in Mecca. So if he wouldn't have died his brother wouldn't have gone to Mecca." So Allah's plans is the best of plans. And in that way I accepted it, and I feel very, very happy because I know there, where he is now, he is with Allah, he's in Jannah. And he can't do any sins. He's forgiven, Allah has forgiven him.

Amina Benjamin:              I still worry about my other son because he's alive and he's doing sins every day. But he that's passed away, I've got no worries about him.

Yumna Vallie:                      (singing in foreign language.)

Yumna Vallie:                      I don't think I've been educated enough in the Arts and that's why the Muslims don't encourage their children. In the old days I do know that of my father as well. He never encouraged me, and up to me not making a CD my father always believed that the day you die your voice is still alive.

Yumna Vallie:                      There was a programme on TV about a mawlana who said that, "Singing done by a woman is haram." And I so much want him to prove that. We can't prove it. And then they had somebody else who said, "No it is not." I would really like to know what is the real thing? Why haven't I been approached, over all the years - I think I'm singing for about 15 years - why didn't anybody approach me and tell me what I am doing is wrong?

Maheerah G:                        If you see a woman with a scarf on, you automatically think Muslim. She may even not be Muslim. Maybe she just likes wearing the scarf. But you think of the Muslim and she always wears a scarf. And unfortunately this is stuck. So when you see a woman without a scarf you immediately think, "No she can't possibly be Muslim." And she could be a very good Muslim. And it's happened on occasion where you have people who are very spiritual, they're very knowledgeable about Islam. They're very good Muslims. But this woman doesn't wear a scarf so she's not taken seriously by the Cape Town ulama. And when you see the men, the ulama of the Cape, they're always wearing their "markers." And these markers are the fez, or either a big kufiya, a thobe. And then over that another black coat. And this sort of gives them some authority. And as soon as you not, if you're wearing a jeans and a T-shirt, you don't have authority as a Muslim. Yet Islam tells us not to differentiate between people on physic-, on the outer physical appearance.

Maheerah G:                        When I started doing my research the question that I had about Muslim women in Cape society was that they do so much, yet you don't hear about it and they don't get acknowledged. But I think that I went in with the idea, with the [inaudible 00:06:27], that acknowledgement is when you see somebody on TV, when you see somebody in the newspaper, when you read about it on the Internet. And I mean I'm not wrong, because these are the types of media that I grew up with. But there are other types of media, especially in the Muslim community. And those are social functions. We have the [inaudible 00:06:47], the [inaudible 00:06:48] soup kitchen and the [inaudible 00:06:49] is there. But unfortunately it's not enough. I think that Muslim women do shortchange themselves and they do a lot of work, and I think they need to actually get out there and to use a crude word to market themselves.

Speaker 4:                              For 40 years one husband. The same husband and I love him very much. Sometimes [inaudible 00:07:16]-

Speaker 5:                              [crosstalk 00:07:16]

Speaker 4:                              ... not plenty of money but love still.

Speaker 6:                              [crosstalk 00:07:17]

Speaker 5:                              What keeps this marriage [inaudible 00:07:22] is if you told things together, you trust one another-

Speaker 4:                              Yeah.

Speaker 5:                              ... and that is, and you eat together-

Speaker 4:                              Yeah.

Speaker 5:                              ... and you pray together-

Speaker 4:                              Yeah.

Speaker 5:                              ... and that is what keeps our marriages.

Speaker 4:                              Marriage.

Speaker 7:                              20 years ago your mother didn't have a problem with getting married. She'd like reach marriageable age, then she'd find somebody, she'd get married. And then it would be okay. But now, what if you meet somebody and it's not about him wanting to marry you, but you actually want to marry him. You love him but he says he's not ready, he needs some more time, and he does love you and he is committed to the relationship, but he needs a few more years and then eventually you'll get married.

Speaker 7:                              But you're thinking, "God I can't wait a few more years. I need to get married now. People are starting to ask, "When are you getting married, and what's happening? You're this age and you need to have kids." And stuff like that." So you're thinking, okay maybe you need to do something to persuade him to get married within the next three months because your parents are giving, are pressurising you. I mean I think [Fikha 00:08:26] knows. I mean for us it's like just-

Fikha:                                        Oh yes.

Speaker 7:                              ... a bit different. It's almost as though, "Oh the Sheikh's daughter, oh you know, she should have already been married at 21-

Fikha:                                        Yes.

Speaker 9:                              Yes.

Speaker 7:                              ... because that is the right thing. What are you still doing running around? You know-

Speaker 9:                              "Is there no one in the pipeline you know? Don't we know anyone?"

Speaker 7:                              ... and what are you still doing running around and not, you're not married I mean, and you have male friends. Is that right?" And then obviously your mother's, the whole thing, like, "What are people going to say? Your father tells other people that they need to be married. Well you need to honour your values as a Muslim, so if you're not going to do it how can you expect other people to do it, and your dad stands in the masjid and he tells this to other people?" So there's obviously that pressure. So it's like, you want to get married, that's your relationship pressure. Then it's like your father's a sheikh so you know there's that societal pressure, and then your mother, and I think we all have that.

Mama Rushda:                   My sister [Zakhrah 00:09:22] tell me about Islam. That time I was at State [inaudible 00:09:26]. Did tell about Islam. Islam is a very good deen, and the [inaudible 00:09:31] your religion is the only religion.

Mama Rushda:                   After that Mama [Baya 00:09:35], it's a old lady, also told me about Islam. I say, "Mama Baya, why you tell me about Islam?" He say, "Yes I'm also Muslim, but I'm a African." I say, "Mama Baya, I also think about Islam is for white people, not for African people." Mama Baya say, "No you can be a Muslim, if you must, you can embrace Islam it's all right, because a good deen. It's not a new religion. It's a old religion."

Mama Rushda:                   He explained me a lot of things about Islam. Talked about cleanliness. Talked about when you mostly you feel happy, you not feel the same like before. I say, "How Mama Baya, you are Muslim?" Say, "Yes I'm a Muslim. Teaching the children and I tell the people about Islam." And the people around here they like the deen because it's a Christian [inaudible 00:10:29] for the children. It's not all Muslims, but the mother say the children can embrace Islam. Anything happen for the child you can [inaudible 00:10:38] Islam, same like [inaudible 00:10:40].

Mama Rushda:                   Suleiman was one of the child. The mother was not Muslim. But when get in accident, the Mother buried with this Muslim. And the mother after that embrace Islam. All the children here I teach here. They like Islam because his aim the one to be Imam, Sheikh or Mawlana. They also talk like that. "I want to know you are a Muslim?" "Yeah, so what is your aims?" "No Umma, I want to learn Islam. I want to be Shiekh. I want to be Malawna. I want to be Imam." I say, "Alhamdulillah."

Galima Ajouhaar:             Let me eradicate all envy and hatred from my soul. To be able to do justice to the Islamic role. Let my heart be filled from the fountain of thine love, so that my soul may be at peace like the white doves flying above. Let me spread love and goodwill to whomsoever I may meet. O beloved Allah, save me from Jahanum's heat.

Galima Ajouhaar:             What inspired me to write poetry? My husband passed away of cancer. I never ever wrote a line in my life, and then he died of cancer and all my money was stolen. It's a very private affair but I can tell to you. I lost every cent I possessed. The maid went into my cupboard and she stole everything. And I spoke to Allah, "Oh Allah, I've lost everything I possess. Where do I go from here?" And Allah-tala inspired me with poetry.

Galima Ajouhaar:             And I went to take wudu, and as I was taking wudu a line came into my mind. And more lines came that I had to stop, dash off, write a few lines, go again and then it happened. Sometimes I'm asleep, I can't sleep, I wake up, I go to the pen and paper and I write. The first poem that I wrote was about the Qur'an. I have it here. About the Qur'an, the beauty of the Qur'an. I wrote it in two different stages at two different homes. I went to sleep by my daughter and I wrote half of it. Went to sleep by the other daughter and I wrote the other half.

Galima Ajouhaar:             You can be a Hafidha. What I mean by Hafidha, memorise the whole Qur'an. You can be a Namazi, you can do all the integrals of Islam. Yet it hasn't touched your inner health, your inner spirit. Now, what is the difference you ask me between the spirituality and the rituality? Rituals is just like gymnastics. Up and down, without the mind, without the heart taking place. Without even coming close to Allah. But when you do any Ibadah, even by being kind to one another, informal Ibadah. And you do it for the love of Allah, it purifies the inner heart. The heart, if the heart isn't sound, the whole body is unsound. Once your spirituality is enhanced you see Allah in every good deed of everybody around you. You see it in Mother nature, you see it everywhere. You see the Allah in you.

Galima Ajouhaar:             And once you come closer to Allah you feel protected. You don't care what people say, what people do to you. You are close to Allah, because you're [foreign language 00:14:05]. Actions are judged by intentions. You'll only be rewarded for what you intended. If your reward is to come closer to Allah, you'll be rewarded. You will be rewarded. You will come closer to Allah. And if your aim, your Niyyah is to please Man, you won't ever reach the smell, the fragrance of Jannah.

Sulayla Appleby:                We represent [On 00:14:39] Radio. And being the host of Women's World Today. Myself and a host of other presenters. We do programmes on women. We talk about their trials, their tribulations. We talk about the things that made them who they are today. For myself I think spirituality is very, very important. But it doesn't also just come, one day you wake up and you have it in a bag. It doesn't come, it's not an instant thing.

Sulayla Appleby:                Having lost my baby at, I had my baby at seven months premature, I couldn't understand what's like, you ... as a woman, as a mother having two other children, you want to do everything perfectly so that the baby is born and they have this perfect little body, perfect five fingers and toes. Everything must be just so, and then to realise that it's not going to be that way. You see the baby there, the baby's no more. It's not part of you anymore. And it leaves a very, very [inaudible 00:15:42] within in. And makes you look at other things you, makes you question your being, your spirituality, it makes you question all of those things. It makes you look at the things that God wants for you in this life. It makes you think of, "Where's this baby gone to? Why is he not with me today? God has a plan for him of course."

Sulayla Appleby:                And as Muslims you believe that when your little one dies that he is going to be your salvation when the time comes for you, when you are standing there between hell and heaven, he's going to be the one who stands up for you and say, "Oh my Lord, please allow my mother also to enter Jannah."

"Millie":                                   You came to [inaudible 00:16:31] with a disaster. And when he spoke to his cousins to speak to me about marriage, and the Wednesday he and I spoke. And we were quite honest because we didn't know each other, so we had to lay down our cards. This is what I want, this is what you want, this is what I agree with, this is what I disagree with. And I looked at, I mean I always looked at marriage quite differently. And when I got this proposal, "Okay my, you know, I'm at this time now to share my life with someone." And when we spoke we actually did that. We spoke for hours, really for hours-

Speaker 14:                           What if your husband was to come home and tell you that he wanted a second wife?

"Millie":                                   Well in my contract I stipulated according to [inaudible 00:17:11] Sunnah, that I agree with the concept of polygamy providing that my husband can do justice. Because I go according to Qur'anic Ayah that you can opt to, you are allowed to marry one, two, three or more, providing, and I always, that is what my contract, providing-

Speaker 14:                           What are some of your provisions?

"Millie":                                   If I remember correctly one is that I must be able to be, we were able to have amicable relationship between the two of us. That my husband has to make what is right with me, in order what he has agreed with in contract, other things that I've asked for. And if he cannot do that then I will not agree. But he mustn't come to me and say, "Look I've had a relationship." Because that is what happens with, in this community. If people can honestly come to me and says, "I am marrying this second woman because certain things has happened within our community and therefore I have to provide for this second woman," then I'll agree. If it's a case of lust and I have courted this woman, and therefore I have to marry this woman then it's not according to Qur'an-

Speaker 14:                           So you-

"Millie":                                   ... I disagree with that particular policy.

Speaker 14:                           So your husband would have to have your permission before he could do that?

"Millie":                                   Definitely would have to have my permission.

Fatima Erasmus:               I regard myself as an activist for persons with disabilities. Some people might wonder and think, "Why do I say I have this passion for that topic?" It's not because I am a person with a disability but it's because I feel that, it's just like this niche to me highlighted. And I'm not saying so-called able-bodied people don't highlight it enough, but I feel that when you have that disability you can have a more stronger and make your point more than so-called able-bodied person.

Fatima Erasmus:               Before my baby was given to me, just due to go home, I was told by professional staff nurse and a doctor and whatever, that I am not, I won't be capable of taking care of my child because of my disability. And the father is the breadwinner so he won't be able to take care of her. So they refused to give her to me. I fought and I said, "It's a gift from God. It's my gift, and I'm not allowing anybody to take her away from me." That was just about one out of many fights I had to struggle and fight to have, to keep my child. The father then died a couple of years later. It even became worse. Then they were on my neck again. When I say they, the social workers, everybody running to me, "Oh you won't be able to cope." And then they wanted to take her away there again. I stood strong, I said, "It's mine, and I'll fight for it and I can raise." And today I invite and I, anybody to come to me and ask me, if they look at my beautiful daughter, the gift that I got from God, if she appears that the child who doesn't get any love or that's neglected.

Fatima Erasmus:               How I met my second husband, I think it was quite an interesting thing. As you know I'm very involved in my personal capacity in the community, and we, I was asked by my doctor to give a motivational talk at a hospital here in Cape Town. And he was sitting outside, and I saw this chap, he's sitting all by himself, and I, my heart went so out to him. Just to reach out, in a supportive way, not ever dreaming he would be the man of the moment one day in my life. And I decide this way, we started talking and he started sharing his life with me. He lost his, both his parents in a car accident at the age of 12. And I think it's a miracle that nothing happened to him, because he happened to be in the car as well. And then I also saw the need looking back in that eye contact which I always believe is important. I felt there was a need for him to talk more about his emotional, if I can say it, it's like a emotional scar and he needed to nurture it, to nurse it. And I didn't at that time know what I would be the right one but I was prepared to try and give of myself and see how I can assist him. And I think that from there it went on and eventually the most exciting part of my life happened when the proposal came you know.

"Millie":                                   Riding for me is a sort of therapy. A way for me to get away from it all. It's just me and the horse and the open beach if you will. It's a very nice way for me to get in tune with nature. You look at the scenes around you, you look at the water. Look at the sand. And if you take one grain of sand, you'll find that it's so small that's what makes me feel like, very minute, and it makes me feel like in this whole wide world I am like that grain of sand. But I'm all part of the scheme of things. If you look in our, in the world today, women are oppressed, women are trodded upon. And it's wonderful to know that in South Africa women are given a chance to be who they want to be, if only they would take that chance, if only they would take that step that would make them into the unique women that they are.

Speaker 16:                           This is my daughter, she helps me a lot. She helps me cooking during, sometimes we cook in the evening to be early with the food. And she helps me a lot. This is Aunty [Diya 00:23:33] Aunty Diya helps me also cook. This is [Chaney 00:23:38], she also helps [inaudible 00:23:39] and cook. This is Aunty [Seri 00:23:42], she's a very old lady but she likes to peel potatoes. [inaudible 00:23:44] she likes to [inaudible 00:23:47] her children and that is my sister [Masloona 00:23:49], she also helps. That is Aunty [Elizbeth 00:23:51], my next door neighbour and she always, always helps with the children.

"Millie":                                   I asked the Imam once, "You can have two wives, now why can't a woman have two husbands?" So he said to me, "Because a man hasn't got a womb, you've got a womb." And there and then I decided to have my womb removed.

Fatima Erasmus:               Our daily life is, it's a struggle for a layperson who, you don't, the onlooker. But I would say, "I don't see it." It's a struggle the two of us together but people make it a struggle you know. The fact that, I'm sorry to say that, I hope I'm not being, trample on toes but say it as it should be. Call a spade, a spade, is that, yeah, in South Africa I think if only they can make it more accessible and make it more easier for you to do your things and I don't really think life is a struggle because I don't believe, nothing is a struggle. It's what you make of it, but people can create difficulty and then it can become a struggle. And the saddest part is that when it becomes a struggle then not all of us have the courage or the guts to fight against that struggle, and we may accept it as a struggle and eventually we believe it's a struggle.