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A Journey back to Youth
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1:02:12:11
Two Christmases
fifty-six years apart.
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1:02:21:17
The last Christmas
of the Third Reich.
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1:02:26:11
At this time of year,
people always tend to remember
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1:02:30:12
the hopes, joys
and sorrows of the past.
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1:03:23:04
I received an invitation
from a group of soldiers…
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1:03:28:16
who had been prisoners of war
in Russia.
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1:03:33:16
I met them in Oberhof,
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where prisoners of Stalin’s
camps usually come together.
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1:03:44:07
They invited me
to the Italian Tyrol…
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and I went.
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1:03:52:01
The local priest asked
me to speak in the church.
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1:03:56:21
For the first time in my life, I stood
by the altar and I was able to tell
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about the sufferings that befell us.
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1:04:10:15
There was absolute silence in the church.
Hundreds of people were listening to me.
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I had the impression that
the Lord was there listening too.
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1:04:19:17
I prayed for the innocent victims
of the past two wars.
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1:04:35:24
The state only remembered
about us a short time ago.
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1:04:41:23
And my children began
to react differently as well…
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to the story of my life.
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I tried to explain them
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what Germany is accused of.
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1:04:59:03
Before, when I wanted
to explain to them…
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what happened to us,
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I came up against a wall
of incomprehension.
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They always retorted:
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“But what did Germany do
to other nations?”
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I told them
that suffering has no nationality
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and there is no difference between
a German girl and a Jewish one.
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Anne Frank wrote her diary
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and we carry our diaries
around inside us to this day.
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We suffered from the war,
just like the others.
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1:05:28:00
We weren’t shot…
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or killed in gas chambers
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like in German concentration camps,
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but we were more likely to die
than to survive.
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We still have terrible
unhealed mental wounds.
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1:05:45:17
For a long time my children
didn’t understand me.
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1:05:51:00
- And now ?
- Now everything’s different.
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1:05:55:18
Once I talked about it…
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to a journalist…
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He asked me
how old my children were.
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The same age as him, I said.
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Then he told me:
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“That’s how they taught us at school.
They told us…
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that Germany was responsible
for everything
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and had to redeem its guilt”.
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1:07:13:00
I had a happy childhood.
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1:07:17:00
There were five children
in our family.
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1:07:21:23
My father was a smith and
my mother owned a fish shop.
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1:07:26:00
We lived on the outskirts
of Elbing.
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1:07:31:24
I grew up in the countryside
surrounded by animals.
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1:07:36:24
I was five when Hitler
came to power…
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and ten when the war began.
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My parents were religious.
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They were against
National Socialism.
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1:07:58:19
My father was horrified
when my brother…
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volunteered for the army.
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My brother reckoned that the girls
would not even want to look at him,
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if he did not go to the front.
That’s how we had been taught.
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My brother applied for the navy
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as all our ancestors had been sailors.
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but they enlisted him in the infantry
and he went immediately to Russia.
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The first blow
for my parents came
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when he was wounded
and in hospital in Berlin.
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Then he received treatment
in Vienna.
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The last time he was home on leave
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he already sensed
that he would be killed soon.
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My brother died in 1943
in the Smolensk-Orsha sector.
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That was a nightmare
for my mother.
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I can still see her…
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lying on the sofa and crying.
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Mama didn’t even notice us, she was so
stunned by my brother’s death.
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Father’s reaction was different:
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he didn’t want
to put out the Fascist flag
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on Hitler’s birthday.
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Party officials came straight round
and were on the point of arresting him,
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but it passed over.
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Frau Kaufmann has a difficult
journey ahead of her.
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Long ago, when she was little more
than a child, she travelled this way.
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She and her friends were taken
from Germany to Russia -
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to the places where she passed
the worst years of her life.
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1:11:28:15
The year 1944 came.
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We could feel that the front
was getting nearer.
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The bombing of Germany was
getting more and more intensive.
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The papers were full of obituaries.
Lots of our soldiers died.
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My uncle who served in the Wehrmacht
and lived in Danzig…
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came and told us
that we had to run.
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The Russians were already
at the gates of our town.
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The encirclement was complete
and we left it too late to get away.
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The first Russian soldiers appeared
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where we were
at the beginning of March.
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We had already heard
about their atrocities,
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we hadn’t seen anything
like it before.
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We simply dreaded meeting them.
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When the Russian soldiers
broke in with machine-guns,
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our whole family was
sitting in the big room.
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They shouted “Uhren -
watches give them here!”
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They tore our jewellery off us
and demanded we go with them.
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That was all they could say
in German.
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A kilometre from our house…
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was the company HQ.
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At pistol point,
with no questions asked,
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they dragged us to that house.
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I find it very hard to talk
about the horrors that followed…
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The next day,
they let us return home,
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but warned that
if we tried to escape,
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they would shoot
our whole family.
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The next day they brought another
woman to the cellar where I was.
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The Russians had beaten her terribly
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and her strength had totally given out.
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Two days later we were taken
together to another commandant’s office.
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There were a lot of people there,
60 or 70…
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mainly women and girls.
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The interrogations went on
round the clock.
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They asked how long I had
been a member of the BDM,
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that was the League of German Girls
— a Nazi youth organisation.
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1:15:00:00
I told them that practically
every girl had been in the BDM.
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They asked where I had been
standing with a rifle
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when the Red Army came,
how many wells I had poisoned.
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All my answers were written down
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on pieces of paper in Russian.
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When I had signed everything,
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they let me go back home.
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We were abused constantly
during the interrogations.
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Women who didn’t say
what they wanted to hear…
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were stripped
and laid on the floor.
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They were beaten with a knout,
a leather whip.
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1:16:02:17
The Yalta Conference
in February 1945.
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The last summit
before the end of the war
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Stalin, Roosevelt and Churchill.
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This meeting decided
the subsequent fate of Germany.
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1:16:19:23
As war reparations the Soviet Union
was granted the right
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to make forcible use
of the German workforce
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1:16:24:11
to restore an economy
destroyed by the war.
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Order 7161 SS.
Top Secret.
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“Mobilise and intern for
assignment to work in the USSR
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all able-bodied Germans
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found in the territories liberated
by the Red Army:
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1:16:51:18
Romania, Yugoslavia, Hungary,
Bulgaria, Czechoslovakia and Poland,
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men between the ages of 17 and 45,
women between 18 and 30”.
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Joseph Stalin.
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I learnt of terrible things that
simply cannot be put into words
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from the women and girls
who later shared my fate.
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Once when we were being herded
to the assembly point,
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1:17:37:01
we saw on the side
of a country road a nun
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with a mop handle
in her vagina
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and the cut-off heads
of children.
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1:17:49:18
Once some commission appeared
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to collect women
to clear the streets.
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My sister didn’t want to go.
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She was afraid we would never
see each other again.
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She clung to our mother…
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and howled terribly.
1:18:12:00
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I wanted to go to the city
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and ask the authorities there
for protection.
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I begged the members
of that committee
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for an end to the tortures
and violence against us.
1:18:22:11
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1:18:34:18
Stalin tried to present the rapes
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1:18:37:08
as a harmless form
of amusement for the soldiers…
1:18:39:08
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but there are thousands of testimonies,
1:18:42:13
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1:18:44:04
that scarcely a single girl…
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avoided being raped.
1:18:51:23
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1:18:59:15
Then came the day when they
formed us all up outside.
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1:19:03:13
It was the 9th of April.
1:19:06:05
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1:19:08:07
All of us: girls, women,
old men, boys…
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stood frozen in expectation.
1:19:17:03
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1:19:22:04
As far as I remember…
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the youngest of us was thirteen,
1:19:29:00
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the oldest seventy-three.
1:19:31:09
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1:19:34:06
They formed us up into columns of ten
and led us to the station.
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1:19:42:04
Left and right were escorts
with their bayonets pointed at us.
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1:19:53:04
Girls with the same surname
or relations…
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were deliberately allocated
to different groups
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to deprive us of the last source
of support
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and to intensify our sufferings
still further.
1:20:10:15
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1:20:13:08
My sister was walking
much further back.
1:20:16:05
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1:20:16:22
Almost all the women had diarrhoea.
1:20:19:04
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1:20:19:17
They went to the side of the road
and squatted down
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to relieve themselves.
1:20:26:02
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I also squatted down, but only to wait
until my sister caught up with me.
1:20:30:04
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In that way we ended up
in the same wagon.
1:20:36:00
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1:20:51:08
The journey was terrible.
1:20:53:15
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1:20:54:12
It was completely dark in the wagon.
1:20:57:00
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1:21:00:01
The little window high up
had been boarded over.
1:21:05:00
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Once a day the door
of the wagon opened
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and they put in a 40-litre milk churn
half full of water.
1:21:20:09
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Those sitting by the door
shared it out with a ladle.
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those who didn’t have anything
to put it in had to drink immediately.
1:21:33:00
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1:21:33:07
That was all the water
we got for a day.
1:21:35:20
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1:21:35:24
Each day we were given
two pieces of stale bread
1:21:41:00
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and the first few days
a piece of bad…
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very salty cheese each.
1:21:51:07
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1:21:51:14
We were so tormented by thirst
1:21:54:20
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that we didn’t even feel the hunger.
1:21:58:09
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1:22:00:00
In our wagon there was a woman
with a fourteen-year-old daughter.
1:22:05:00
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1:22:08:15
The girl kept whining
the whole time:
1:22:11:00
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1:22:11:10
“I can’t stand it,
I want a drink…”
1:22:15:04
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1:22:18:03
I thought: “Why doesn’t she
stop whining?
1:22:20:12
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1:22:20:13
We’re all in the same fix!”
1:22:22:13
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1:22:23:03
I was stupid and didn’t realise
1:22:26:20
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1:22:27:20
that her nerves
had just given out.
1:22:32:07
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1:22:33:07
That woman’s other daughter
- she was twelve -
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1:22:36:20
died in front of her eyes
1:22:39:10
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1:22:39:11
blown up by a grenade.
1:22:41:09
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1:22:53:09
We travelled for nine or ten days.
1:22:58:00
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1:23:00:11
Once we were allowed out.
That was in Leningrad.
1:23:03:18
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1:23:04:06
They took the dead out
of the wagon then.
1:23:07:00
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1:23:09:00
After that we travelled
on to Petrozavodsk.
1:23:12:10
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1:23:53:18
When they let us out of the wagon,
we threw ourselves onto the snow.
1:23:56:10
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1:23:56:11
It was so cold and wet.
It was wonderful.
1:24:00:00
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1:24:00:22
Our dirty ragged group walked on
across the frozen surface of a lake.
1:24:06:00
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1:24:06:14
The first lice had already
appeared on the train.
1:24:08:20
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1:24:16:05
We walked a long way until at last
we were herded into a huge camp.
1:24:19:05
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1:24:57:09
I remember one woman,
Schreiber I think her name was.
1:24:59:16
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1:24:59:17
She said to me,
“You shouldn’t cry.
1:25:03:00
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1:25:03:01
You will go home.
You are still young.
1:25:05:20
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1:25:05:21
Then your life will begin.
1:25:07:21
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1:25:07:22
But I don’t even know
where my children are.”
1:25:10:16
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1:25:10:21
I thought at the time that
the old woman was talking nonsense.
1:25:13:00
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1:25:13:01
- Was she an old woman?
- Yes.
1:25:16:00
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1:25:16:05
For us the thirty-, forty-
and fifty-year-olds were old.
1:25:20:00
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1:25:20:03
Ida Kant…
She was 27 then.
1:25:23:14
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1:25:23:15
Yes, they all seemed
old women to us.
1:25:25:21
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1:25:28:18
I already said. Back then
I didn’t understand her.
1:25:31:23
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1:25:32:09
What happened to them
after the war?
1:25:35:21
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1:25:38:17
One woman said that when
she got home her little child said to her:
1:25:43:00
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1:25:45:03
“Are you my mummy? But I have
another mummy in Russia.”
1:25:49:09
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1:25:52:02
I think that everything
worked out for her.
1:25:55:17
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1:25:55:19
- Yes, but Ida Kant…
- What’s with her and her son?
1:25:59:00
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1:25:59:02
She would often phone me of an evening,
and say, “I can’t stand it any more…”
1:26:04:03
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1:26:04:04
I was dreadfully sorry for her…
1:26:07:03
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1:26:08:16
I reckon we were lucky
and we are happy,
1:26:11:20
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1:26:11:21
because we have remarkable families.
1:26:15:10
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1:26:15:11
- Yes.
- And we’re calm in our minds now.
1:26:17:23
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1:26:17:24
I agree that we should certainly
be happy.
1:26:21:20
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1:26:24:01
We were able to survive everything,
because we were young.
1:26:27:10
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1:26:29:05
Yes, but it was the young
who died in the camp.
1:26:31:10
`
1:26:31:15
We survived, though,
and we are all right now.
1:26:36:05
`
1:26:37:10
We should tell everyone
what happened to us.
1:26:40:10
`
1:26:40:11
It is our duty to those
who are not with us now.
1:26:45:08
`
1:26:48:02
We should be grateful to fate
1:26:52:00
`
1:26:52:01
for the life we have today.
1:26:56:04
`
1:27:02:10
But that is just on the surface.
1:27:04:10
`
1:27:06:23
Many carry those sufferings
inside them
1:27:10:00
`
1:27:10:01
to the ends of their lives.
1:27:12:00
`
1:27:16:04
I reckon that
if you have a family,
1:27:19:20
`
1:27:19:21
then you have to overcome
all the adversities.
1:27:22:17
`
1:27:23:14
Especially, if you have children.
1:27:26:02
`
1:27:26:03
Lots of the girls couldn’t start
their own families
1:27:29:20
`
1:27:29:21
because of the physical
and mental wounds.
1:27:31:17
`
1:27:56:00
That first night in the camp
we slept like logs,
1:27:59:00
`
1:27:59:01
but when we woke in the morning
we couldn’t recognise each other.
1:28:02:08
`
1:28:02:13
The camp was infested with bedbugs.
1:28:05:20
`
1:28:07:03
We were bitten terribly.
1:28:09:20
`
1:28:13:13
The bugs had been starving.
1:28:18:00
`
1:28:18:01
The camp had probably
not been used for a long time.
1:28:23:20
`
1:28:27:24
After three days we set to work.
1:28:33:03
`
1:28:35:12
The latrines needed cleaning.
1:28:39:01
`
1:28:41:02
Great heaps had accumulated there…
1:28:43:16
`
1:28:46:00
of frozen faeces.
1:28:48:23
`
1:28:52:21
That was hard work
1:28:56:00
`
1:28:56:01
for fifteen-year-olds,
who were starving as well.
1:28:59:13
`
1:28:59:20
But in that camp
it was considered light work.
1:29:03:14
`
1:29:05:18
Some people had a strong
constitution by nature,
1:29:10:11
`
1:29:10:12
but many were already sick,
1:29:14:10
`
1:29:15:00
and could barely stay
on their feet.
1:29:19:20
`
1:29:20:10
In the early days the death rate
in the camp
1:29:23:00
`
1:29:23:10
was very high.
1:29:25:17
`
1:29:30:10
They died from exhaustion,
from an epidemic of typhus,
1:29:36:00
`
1:29:37:06
from venereal diseases,
as a result of miscarriages.
1:29:42:20
`
1:29:44:12
In our camp there was diphtheria
as well.
1:29:47:16
`
1:29:48:00
But very many women died…
1:29:52:00
`
1:29:53:00
simply from despair
and lack of hope.
1:29:57:20
`
1:29:57:23
Many people’s legs swelled up. I had
dropsy or oedematous malnutrition.
1:30:03:00
`
1:30:03:23
Nearly everyone suffered
from deep septic ulcers.
1:30:08:10
`
1:30:15:00
That was from starvation too.
1:30:18:08
`
1:30:19:08
The ulcers took
a very long time to heal.
1:30:22:10
`
1:30:22:11
The scars are still there
on my legs…
1:30:25:20
`
1:30:35:20
When we went to work outside the camp,
we had to stop in front of the gates.
1:30:40:00
`
1:31:40:01
Each time we were counted.
1:31:43:00
`
1:31:43:16
Alongside was the infirmary hut
1:31:47:04
`
1:31:47:17
where they sent the girls
who were hopelessly ill.
1:31:50:15
`
1:31:51:18
Their hair had been cut off
and they were as thin as rakes.
1:31:55:06
`
1:31:55:18
They stood by the window and
kept signalling us to come over.
1:32:00:00
`
1:32:00:05
They were always trying
to ask us something.
1:32:03:10
`
1:32:03:11
We couldn’t go to them because
the guards were all around.
1:32:08:00
`
1:32:08:12
We were simply afraid as well
that we couldn’t…
1:32:11:10
`
1:32:13:00
do what they would ask us.
1:32:17:00
`
1:32:21:10
It was unbearable.
1:32:23:06
`
1:32:24:15
I felt awful: those eyes,
those close-cropped heads…
1:32:27:15
`
1:32:28:21
They looked horrible.
1:32:32:10
`
1:32:33:07
Then we went out to work again.
I thought it would never end.
1:32:37:03
`
1:33:01:15
It seemed that the whole world
had broken down.
1:33:03:15
`
1:33:03:17
More than anything
I wanted to die.
1:33:05:21
`
1:33:05:23
At sixteen I was raped
by Russian soldiers.
1:33:08:21
`
1:33:09:00
Work. Two-and-a-half years
of nothing but work and hunger.
1:33:13:00
`
1:33:16:07
It was all terrible.
1:33:19:16
`
1:33:19:20
I was almost certain that
I would never get back home.
1:33:24:20
`
1:33:43:20
My maiden name was Strunk.
1:33:47:04
`
1:33:47:18
There was another woman
in the camp with the same surname.
1:33:50:18
`
1:33:50:19
We lived in the same hut.
1:33:53:05
`
1:33:53:10
She was from Elbing too,
but wasn’t a relative.
1:33:56:23
`
1:33:57:07
She worked in the burial team and got
a little extra soup on account of that.
1:34:02:08
`
1:34:04:00
She always shared with me.
1:34:07:00
`
1:34:07:01
But I couldn’t have worked
in the burial team.
1:34:11:00
`
1:34:11:04
She told me that the land
in those parts was marshy,
1:34:15:04
`
1:34:15:05
and they dug down no depth at all.
1:34:18:17
`
1:34:18:20
The corpses had no clothes on them,
1:34:22:20
`
1:34:22:21
they dropped them naked
into the graves.
1:34:26:15
`
1:34:27:08
It’s a nightmare.
1:34:30:22
`
1:34:31:14
In the early days in our camp,
1:34:35:00
`
1:34:36:01
many girls died.
1:34:38:04
`
1:34:39:00
Of those on our train
1:34:42:00
`
1:34:42:05
almost half died.
1:34:44:04
`
1:34:46:09
One woman gave birth
to a child in the camp
1:34:49:20
`
1:34:53:16
and soon died.
1:34:55:12
`
1:34:57:00
Then the child died too.
1:34:59:06
`
1:34:59:10
We felt so sorry for it.
It lived such a short time.
1:35:05:00
`
1:35:12:07
Almost all the girls said
that they had been raped.
1:35:16:09
`
1:35:16:20
Children were born in the camp,
but many died.
1:35:20:11
`
1:35:20:12
I remember that one woman
gave birth to a child and remained alive.
1:35:24:14
`
1:35:24:15
She even went home with the child.
1:35:28:17
`
1:35:53:19
My sister grew weaker by the day.
1:35:55:20
`
1:35:55:21
She was unable to swallow for pain
and so she couldn’t eat.
1:35:59:16
`
1:36:01:01
They gave us a lump
of sugar each every day.
1:36:05:00
`
1:36:05:22
I got my sugar like everyone else.
1:36:08:10
`
1:36:08:11
By the camp fence there were
clumps of raspberries growing.
1:36:12:12
`
1:36:12:24
The leaves had already been eaten.
I boiled tea from the stems,
1:36:16:14
`
1:36:16:15
put the sugar in it
and took it to my sister.
1:36:19:06
`
1:36:19:20
I thought that the sugar
would help her…
1:36:24:20
`
1:36:25:00
to get better, at least a little.
1:36:28:19
`
1:36:28:20
Then they told me that it was forbidden
to go into the infirmary hut any more,
1:36:33:11
`
1:36:33:12
because a typhus epidemic had started.
1:36:35:14
`
1:36:35:17
That was a terrible blow to me
1:36:38:18
`
1:36:39:21
to have to leave her alone.
1:36:42:14
`
1:36:43:11
When I nonetheless managed
to get up to the window, she said:
1:36:49:00
`
1:36:51:00
“Don’t come back again,
otherwise they will punish me.”
1:36:55:00
`
1:36:55:20
We were punished for everything.
1:36:58:20
`
1:36:58:23
My sister said: “I’m sure you
will make it home, but I will die here.
1:37:03:04
`
1:37:03:06
You should take word home.”
1:37:06:00
`
1:37:29:10
I remember two women
coming towards me.
1:37:32:20
`
1:37:37:00
One was a German.
1:37:40:03
`
1:37:40:14
Her red hair was like a red rag
to a bull for everyone.
1:37:45:08
`
1:37:46:22
She came up to me and shouted:
1:37:49:15
`
1:37:50:01
“If you want to see your sister
for the last time, go to the morgue.”
1:37:53:14
`
1:37:54:15
I felt sick.
1:37:56:11
`
1:37:56:12
My friends said:
“Let’s go together.
1:38:01:00
`
1:38:02:18
We’ll help you.”
1:38:04:21
`
1:38:06:20
The morgue was in a dug-out.
1:38:09:00
`
1:38:09:10
The corpses were piled up
on top of each other.
1:38:12:02
`
1:38:14:11
My sister was lying there naked.
1:38:16:10
`
1:38:18:20
There were lice crawling over her face,
between her fingers and toes.
1:38:22:10
`
1:38:31:04
I fainted…
1:38:33:04
`
1:38:34:05
My friends carried me out of there.
1:38:36:11
`
1:38:41:22
They were to bury my sister
the next day.
1:38:46:01
`
1:38:46:02
I wanted to go along, of course,
but the girls wouldn’t let me.
1:38:49:05
`
1:38:51:22
They said I wouldn’t be able
to forget it for the rest of my life.
1:38:55:16
`
1:38:56:06
They were buried in a hole
half a metre deep, full of water. Naked.
1:39:01:09
`
1:39:02:00
They tipped the bodies out
of the blankets…
1:39:06:00
`
1:39:07:14
so as to use the blankets again.
1:39:10:08
`
1:39:11:14
The girls physically kept me in the hut,
so as to prevent me going.
1:39:17:00
`
1:39:21:09
That’s how I parted from my sister.
I couldn’t bear it.
1:39:26:07
`
1:39:26:23
Later one of the women who had
been with her in the infirmary hut
1:39:30:00
`
1:39:30:01
told me
1:39:32:00
`
1:39:32:02
that my sister had been punished
1:39:36:00
`
1:39:36:08
because I visited her and
talked with her through the window.
1:39:40:08
`
1:39:40:18
She came down with dysentery.
She had to use the slop-pail,
1:39:43:24
`
1:39:44:00
but it was full to the brim and
she had to squat down alongside.
1:39:47:12
`
1:39:49:00
In that condition they made
her wash the whole the hut.
1:39:53:20
`
1:39:55:15
An hour later, my sister
was taken to the morgue…
1:39:59:00
`
1:40:01:19
People also told me that when I was
in the morgue and cried so much,
1:40:05:16
`
1:40:06:18
my sister suddenly opened her eyes.
She was probably still alive.
1:40:09:18
`
1:40:12:10
Can they really have buried
my sister alive?
1:40:15:04
`
1:40:18:03
Who gave the order
to clean up the hut?
1:40:22:22
`
1:40:23:17
Who gave the order
to take her to the morgue?
1:40:26:22
`
1:40:27:06
It’s hard to remember now
1:40:30:00
`
1:40:30:01
whether there was one of our people there
or the Russians gave the orders.
1:40:34:00
`
1:40:34:01
I never could tell mother
how my sister’s life ended.
1:40:39:00
`
1:41:27:24
We understood
that the war was over
1:41:31:00
`
1:41:31:01
because the Russians
became very happy.
1:41:33:09
`
1:41:34:16
And then came a moment
when the barbed-wire gates were opened
1:41:37:10
`
1:41:37:14
and we were told there was
no going back home for us.
1:41:40:12
`
1:41:42:14
They gave each of us a paper
1:41:45:15
`
1:41:45:20
which stated
that we had been released.
1:41:50:10
`
1:41:53:01
I don’t remember
where I put that paper.
1:41:56:00
`
1:41:58:03
The crowd of released detainees
was enormous.
1:42:03:09
`
1:42:04:24
But we were stunned by the news
that we could not return home
1:42:08:21
`
1:42:09:13
and none of us knew where to go…
1:42:11:08
`
1:42:21:10
“The Free German Youth.
Goodness, how wonderful.”
1:42:25:12
`
1:42:25:14
What a word - “Free”!
1:42:28:04
`
1:42:28:20
If someone has never been in a camp,
never locked up, they can’t understand.
1:42:32:06
`
1:42:33:01
Never being allowed to go anywhere,
constantly watched over by guards…
1:42:37:00
`
1:42:39:17
It’s unbearable.
1:42:41:00
`
1:42:41:01
The Free German Youth!
1:42:43:01
`
1:42:43:02
I immediately responded and said:
“I want to join , I want to be free!”
1:42:47:07
`
1:42:48:06
In “FGY” they said
they were very pleased
1:42:51:00
`
1:42:51:01
and that I should come
to a meeting and say
1:42:55:00
`
1:42:55:01
that I was proud to have been able
to work for five years in Russia.
1:42:59:00
`
1:42:59:11
I said, “How can I be proud?
I was raped at the age of 16.
1:43:04:04
`
1:43:04:05
For five years I had to starve,
live behind barbed wire
1:43:07:08
`
1:43:07:10
and do forced labour.
1:43:11:05
`
1:43:11:10
And I should be proud of that?”
1:43:14:10
`
1:43:14:12
“Of course, you should be proud,”
they said.
1:43:17:00
`
1:43:17:01
“We would be happy, if we
had been able to do that.”
1:43:19:20
`
1:43:19:21
I said, “Go on then, you go
to Russia. You can do it too.”
1:43:22:20
`
1:43:22:21
But they didn’t go.
1:43:24:08
`
1:44:51:04
When at last will people understand
that war brings no-one any good?
1:44:55:06
`
1:44:57:00
Women suffer more from war
than men.
1:45:00:00
`
1:45:03:11
Why does it happen?
1:45:05:10
`
1:45:07:12
Men wage war,
and women pay the price.
1:45:11:10
`
1:45:14:12
And children suffer
even more from war.
1:45:16:21
`
1:45:47:11
How hard it was to drag you
on carts through the forest…
1:45:53:20
`
1:45:55:15
and to bury you in those pits
full of water, to throw you in naked.
1:45:59:21
`
1:46:03:07
It was forbidden to place
even a fir branch.
1:46:06:07
`
1:46:16:12
Why did we all have to pay
for what they began?
1:46:21:20
`
1:46:23:23
Why the most innocent?
1:46:25:20
`
1:46:29:13
You with your lives…
1:46:34:19
`
1:46:39:20
us with our bodies and our souls.
1:46:43:00
`
1:47:07:09
Everyone is mourning
and thinking of you today.
1:47:10:00
`
1:47:11:00
Our friends know
that I have come here.
1:47:13:12
`
1:47:26:03
How many mothers have wept
for your sufferings!
1:47:28:20
`
1:48:01:12
I would endure any hardships
1:48:04:07
`
1:48:06:15
if only this nightmare
had never happened.
1:48:08:18
`
1:48:50:16
Dear Gretchen,
so we have met at last.
1:48:53:14
`
1:49:08:23
May you rest in peace
1:49:11:02
`
1:49:11:04
and God’s blessing be on you.
1:49:13:10
`
1:49:38:04
In my heart you are still alive today,
1:49:41:09
`
1:49:45:19
my dear sister.
1:49:47:10
`
1:49:58:08
May all your souls find peace.
1:50:00:05
`
1:50:04:21
Remember how you loved
to bring Mother flowers?
1:50:07:19
`
1:50:10:21
Now I have brought
this rose for you.
1:50:13:08
`
1:50:25:15
Rest in peace, all of you…
1:50:27:15
`
1:50:29:06
here in a foreign land.
1:50:31:08
`
1:50:35:09
Fifty years I have dreamed
of speaking to you…
1:50:38:23
`
1:50:42:14
and only today has it happened.
1:50:45:00
A Journey back to Youth
1:01:04:13
`
1:02:12:11
Two Christmases
fifty-six years apart.
1:02:15:20
`
1:02:21:17
The last Christmas
of the Third Reich.
1:02:24:18
`
1:02:26:11
At this time of year,
people always tend to remember
1:02:30:11
`
1:02:30:12
the hopes, joys
and sorrows of the past.
1:02:33:06
`
1:03:23:04
I received an invitation
from a group of soldiers…
1:03:26:07
`
1:03:28:16
who had been prisoners of war
in Russia.
1:03:32:11
`
1:03:33:16
I met them in Oberhof,
1:03:36:17
`
1:03:38:17
where prisoners of Stalin’s
camps usually come together.
1:03:43:01
`
1:03:44:07
They invited me
to the Italian Tyrol…
1:03:48:07
`
1:03:49:00
and I went.
1:03:52:00
`
1:03:52:01
The local priest asked
me to speak in the church.
1:03:56:12
`
1:03:56:21
For the first time in my life, I stood
by the altar and I was able to tell
1:04:01:19
`
1:04:04:18
about the sufferings that befell us.
1:04:08:20
`
1:04:10:15
There was absolute silence in the church.
Hundreds of people were listening to me.
1:04:13:11
`
1:04:14:05
I had the impression that
the Lord was there listening too.
1:04:17:13
`
1:04:19:17
I prayed for the innocent victims
of the past two wars.
1:04:24:16
`
1:04:35:24
The state only remembered
about us a short time ago.
1:04:39:17
`
1:04:41:23
And my children began
to react differently as well…
1:04:44:12
`
1:04:45:18
to the story of my life.
1:04:48:13
`
1:04:50:12
I tried to explain them
1:04:53:00
`
1:04:54:10
what Germany is accused of.
1:04:57:10
`
1:04:59:03
Before, when I wanted
to explain to them…
1:05:02:10
`
1:05:02:12
what happened to us,
1:05:05:11
`
1:05:05:12
I came up against a wall
of incomprehension.
1:05:07:10
`
1:05:07:18
They always retorted:
1:05:10:13
`
1:05:11:00
“But what did Germany do
to other nations?”
1:05:14:05
`
1:05:15:08
I told them
that suffering has no nationality
1:05:18:11
`
1:05:18:12
and there is no difference between
a German girl and a Jewish one.
1:05:21:00
`
1:05:21:01
Anne Frank wrote her diary
1:05:23:10
`
1:05:23:11
and we carry our diaries
around inside us to this day.
1:05:25:11
`
1:05:25:14
We suffered from the war,
just like the others.
1:05:27:24
`
1:05:28:00
We weren’t shot…
1:05:30:00
`
1:05:30:05
or killed in gas chambers
1:05:32:05
`
1:05:32:07
like in German concentration camps,
1:05:35:00
`
1:05:35:14
but we were more likely to die
than to survive.
1:05:39:15
`
1:05:41:01
We still have terrible
unhealed mental wounds.
1:05:44:10
`
1:05:45:17
For a long time my children
didn’t understand me.
1:05:48:23
`
1:05:51:00
- And now ?
- Now everything’s different.
1:05:55:05
`
1:05:55:18
Once I talked about it…
1:05:58:10
`
1:05:59:00
to a journalist…
1:06:01:10
`
1:06:06:11
He asked me
how old my children were.
1:06:10:14
`
1:06:10:15
The same age as him, I said.
1:06:15:15
`
1:06:15:18
Then he told me:
1:06:18:00
`
1:06:18:02
“That’s how they taught us at school.
They told us…
1:06:22:21
`
1:06:23:10
that Germany was responsible
for everything
1:06:25:10
`
1:06:25:11
and had to redeem its guilt”.
1:06:27:21
`
1:07:13:00
I had a happy childhood.
1:07:15:22
`
1:07:17:00
There were five children
in our family.
1:07:19:23
`
1:07:21:23
My father was a smith and
my mother owned a fish shop.
1:07:25:21
`
1:07:26:00
We lived on the outskirts
of Elbing.
1:07:28:08
`
1:07:31:24
I grew up in the countryside
surrounded by animals.
1:07:36:00
`
1:07:36:24
I was five when Hitler
came to power…
1:07:40:05
`
1:07:40:10
and ten when the war began.
1:07:43:06
`
1:07:51:02
My parents were religious.
1:07:53:20
`
1:07:54:00
They were against
National Socialism.
1:07:56:10
`
1:07:58:19
My father was horrified
when my brother…
1:08:02:07
`
1:08:02:14
volunteered for the army.
1:08:05:10
`
1:08:09:05
My brother reckoned that the girls
would not even want to look at him,
1:08:12:12
`
1:08:12:14
if he did not go to the front.
That’s how we had been taught.
1:08:15:20
`
1:08:16:00
My brother applied for the navy
1:08:17:20
`
1:08:17:21
as all our ancestors had been sailors.
1:08:21:00
`
1:08:21:12
but they enlisted him in the infantry
and he went immediately to Russia.
1:08:24:12
`
1:08:25:00
The first blow
for my parents came
1:08:28:00
`
1:08:28:01
when he was wounded
and in hospital in Berlin.
1:08:31:00
`
1:08:31:01
Then he received treatment
in Vienna.
1:08:33:22
`
1:08:35:03
The last time he was home on leave
1:08:39:17
`
1:08:39:18
he already sensed
that he would be killed soon.
1:08:44:00
`
1:08:46:14
My brother died in 1943
in the Smolensk-Orsha sector.
1:08:50:04
`
1:08:50:12
That was a nightmare
for my mother.
1:08:53:19
`
1:08:54:22
I can still see her…
1:08:57:19
`
1:08:57:20
lying on the sofa and crying.
1:09:01:10
`
1:09:01:12
Mama didn’t even notice us, she was so
stunned by my brother’s death.
1:09:04:12
`
1:09:05:00
Father’s reaction was different:
1:09:07:10
`
1:09:11:00
he didn’t want
to put out the Fascist flag
1:09:14:19
`
1:09:16:14
on Hitler’s birthday.
1:09:19:00
`
1:09:22:17
Party officials came straight round
and were on the point of arresting him,
1:09:25:00
`
1:09:25:01
but it passed over.
1:09:26:22
`
1:10:40:11
Frau Kaufmann has a difficult
journey ahead of her.
1:10:43:14
`
1:10:44:06
Long ago, when she was little more
than a child, she travelled this way.
1:10:47:15
`
1:10:47:16
She and her friends were taken
from Germany to Russia -
1:10:50:16
`
1:10:50:24
to the places where she passed
the worst years of her life.
1:10:55:12
`
1:11:28:15
The year 1944 came.
1:11:31:02
`
1:11:31:12
We could feel that the front
was getting nearer.
1:11:35:06
`
1:11:37:10
The bombing of Germany was
getting more and more intensive.
1:11:41:13
`
1:11:42:00
The papers were full of obituaries.
Lots of our soldiers died.
1:11:47:00
`
1:11:52:00
My uncle who served in the Wehrmacht
and lived in Danzig…
1:11:56:00
`
1:11:56:20
came and told us
that we had to run.
1:11:59:08
`
1:11:59:12
The Russians were already
at the gates of our town.
1:12:02:09
`
1:12:11:08
The encirclement was complete
and we left it too late to get away.
1:12:14:00
`
1:12:15:14
The first Russian soldiers appeared
1:12:19:00
`
1:12:19:01
where we were
at the beginning of March.
1:12:22:15
`
1:12:22:16
We had already heard
about their atrocities,
1:12:25:00
`
1:12:25:01
we hadn’t seen anything
like it before.
1:12:27:14
`
1:12:27:16
We simply dreaded meeting them.
1:12:30:12
`
1:12:32:06
When the Russian soldiers
broke in with machine-guns,
1:12:34:10
`
1:12:34:11
our whole family was
sitting in the big room.
1:12:38:00
`
1:12:39:23
They shouted “Uhren -
watches give them here!”
1:12:43:00
`
1:12:43:19
They tore our jewellery off us
and demanded we go with them.
1:12:48:14
`
1:12:48:22
That was all they could say
in German.
1:12:51:04
`
1:12:52:15
A kilometre from our house…
1:12:57:22
`
1:12:59:19
was the company HQ.
1:13:03:14
`
1:13:09:00
At pistol point,
with no questions asked,
1:13:12:17
`
1:13:14:21
they dragged us to that house.
1:13:18:00
`
1:13:19:21
I find it very hard to talk
about the horrors that followed…
1:13:22:07
`
1:13:23:03
The next day,
they let us return home,
1:13:27:17
`
1:13:27:23
but warned that
if we tried to escape,
1:13:31:00
`
1:13:33:00
they would shoot
our whole family.
1:13:36:15
`
1:14:18:17
The next day they brought another
woman to the cellar where I was.
1:14:21:01
`
1:14:21:02
The Russians had beaten her terribly
1:14:24:10
`
1:14:25:00
and her strength had totally given out.
1:14:28:06
`
1:14:28:19
Two days later we were taken
together to another commandant’s office.
1:14:33:00
`
1:14:34:10
There were a lot of people there,
60 or 70…
1:14:38:10
`
1:14:39:00
mainly women and girls.
1:14:41:17
`
1:14:42:01
The interrogations went on
round the clock.
1:14:46:01
`
1:14:48:10
They asked how long I had
been a member of the BDM,
1:14:53:07
`
1:14:53:08
that was the League of German Girls
— a Nazi youth organisation.
1:14:58:04
`
1:15:00:00
I told them that practically
every girl had been in the BDM.
1:15:05:07
`
1:15:07:01
They asked where I had been
standing with a rifle
1:15:11:20
`
1:15:12:00
when the Red Army came,
how many wells I had poisoned.
1:15:15:16
`
1:15:16:06
All my answers were written down
1:15:17:23
`
1:15:18:10
on pieces of paper in Russian.
1:15:23:01
`
1:15:24:09
When I had signed everything,
1:15:26:03
`
1:15:29:08
they let me go back home.
1:15:32:00
`
1:15:32:10
We were abused constantly
during the interrogations.
1:15:35:16
`
1:15:35:24
Women who didn’t say
what they wanted to hear…
1:15:40:00
`
1:15:40:12
were stripped
and laid on the floor.
1:15:43:20
`
1:15:43:22
They were beaten with a knout,
a leather whip.
1:15:47:20
`
1:16:02:17
The Yalta Conference
in February 1945.
1:16:06:09
`
1:16:07:11
The last summit
before the end of the war
1:16:10:11
`
1:16:10:12
Stalin, Roosevelt and Churchill.
1:16:14:01
`
1:16:15:00
This meeting decided
the subsequent fate of Germany.
1:16:18:22
`
1:16:19:23
As war reparations the Soviet Union
was granted the right
1:16:22:01
`
1:16:22:02
to make forcible use
of the German workforce
1:16:24:10
`
1:16:24:11
to restore an economy
destroyed by the war.
1:16:28:08
`
1:16:34:10
Order 7161 SS.
Top Secret.
1:16:39:02
`
1:16:40:09
“Mobilise and intern for
assignment to work in the USSR
1:16:44:10
`
1:16:44:12
all able-bodied Germans
1:16:47:08
`
1:16:48:03
found in the territories liberated
by the Red Army:
1:16:51:10
`
1:16:51:18
Romania, Yugoslavia, Hungary,
Bulgaria, Czechoslovakia and Poland,
1:16:59:24
`
1:17:00:16
men between the ages of 17 and 45,
women between 18 and 30”.
1:17:08:14
`
1:17:08:18
Joseph Stalin.
1:17:11:20
`
1:17:19:02
I learnt of terrible things that
simply cannot be put into words
1:17:23:21
`
1:17:24:00
from the women and girls
who later shared my fate.
1:17:28:00
`
1:17:30:10
Once when we were being herded
to the assembly point,
1:17:34:15
`
1:17:37:01
we saw on the side
of a country road a nun
1:17:41:02
`
1:17:42:10
with a mop handle
in her vagina
1:17:45:00
`
1:17:45:01
and the cut-off heads
of children.
1:17:47:17
`
1:17:49:18
Once some commission appeared
1:17:52:04
`
1:17:53:11
to collect women
to clear the streets.
1:17:57:02
`
1:17:58:11
My sister didn’t want to go.
1:18:01:23
`
1:18:02:15
She was afraid we would never
see each other again.
1:18:07:02
`
1:18:07:20
She clung to our mother…
1:18:09:15
`
1:18:10:03
and howled terribly.
1:18:12:00
`
1:18:12:09
I wanted to go to the city
1:18:14:10
`
1:18:14:12
and ask the authorities there
for protection.
1:18:16:14
`
1:18:16:15
I begged the members
of that committee
1:18:18:15
`
1:18:18:20
for an end to the tortures
and violence against us.
1:18:22:11
`
1:18:34:18
Stalin tried to present the rapes
1:18:37:07
`
1:18:37:08
as a harmless form
of amusement for the soldiers…
1:18:39:08
`
1:18:40:03
but there are thousands of testimonies,
1:18:42:13
`
1:18:44:04
that scarcely a single girl…
1:18:46:00
`
1:18:48:19
avoided being raped.
1:18:51:23
`
1:18:59:15
Then came the day when they
formed us all up outside.
1:19:02:08
`
1:19:03:13
It was the 9th of April.
1:19:06:05
`
1:19:08:07
All of us: girls, women,
old men, boys…
1:19:14:00
`
1:19:14:02
stood frozen in expectation.
1:19:17:03
`
1:19:22:04
As far as I remember…
1:19:23:20
`
1:19:25:14
the youngest of us was thirteen,
1:19:29:00
`
1:19:29:01
the oldest seventy-three.
1:19:31:09
`
1:19:34:06
They formed us up into columns of ten
and led us to the station.
1:19:39:00
`
1:19:42:04
Left and right were escorts
with their bayonets pointed at us.
1:19:47:17
`
1:19:53:04
Girls with the same surname
or relations…
1:19:57:00
`
1:20:00:00
were deliberately allocated
to different groups
1:20:03:20
`
1:20:03:21
to deprive us of the last source
of support
1:20:06:09
`
1:20:06:14
and to intensify our sufferings
still further.
1:20:10:15
`
1:20:13:08
My sister was walking
much further back.
1:20:16:05
`
1:20:16:22
Almost all the women had diarrhoea.
1:20:19:04
`
1:20:19:17
They went to the side of the road
and squatted down
1:20:23:17
`
1:20:23:18
to relieve themselves.
1:20:26:02
`
1:20:26:04
I also squatted down, but only to wait
until my sister caught up with me.
1:20:30:04
`
1:20:31:14
In that way we ended up
in the same wagon.
1:20:36:00
`
1:20:51:08
The journey was terrible.
1:20:53:15
`
1:20:54:12
It was completely dark in the wagon.
1:20:57:00
`
1:21:00:01
The little window high up
had been boarded over.
1:21:05:00
`
1:21:11:08
Once a day the door
of the wagon opened
1:21:15:08
`
1:21:15:09
and they put in a 40-litre milk churn
half full of water.
1:21:20:09
`
1:21:21:03
Those sitting by the door
shared it out with a ladle.
1:21:25:10
`
1:21:29:02
those who didn’t have anything
to put it in had to drink immediately.
1:21:33:00
`
1:21:33:07
That was all the water
we got for a day.
1:21:35:20
`
1:21:35:24
Each day we were given
two pieces of stale bread
1:21:41:00
`
1:21:42:10
and the first few days
a piece of bad…
1:21:47:10
`
1:21:47:20
very salty cheese each.
1:21:51:07
`
1:21:51:14
We were so tormented by thirst
1:21:54:20
`
1:21:54:22
that we didn’t even feel the hunger.
1:21:58:09
`
1:22:00:00
In our wagon there was a woman
with a fourteen-year-old daughter.
1:22:05:00
`
1:22:08:15
The girl kept whining
the whole time:
1:22:11:00
`
1:22:11:10
“I can’t stand it,
I want a drink…”
1:22:15:04
`
1:22:18:03
I thought: “Why doesn’t she
stop whining?
1:22:20:12
`
1:22:20:13
We’re all in the same fix!”
1:22:22:13
`
1:22:23:03
I was stupid and didn’t realise
1:22:26:20
`
1:22:27:20
that her nerves
had just given out.
1:22:32:07
`
1:22:33:07
That woman’s other daughter
- she was twelve -
1:22:36:08
`
1:22:36:20
died in front of her eyes
1:22:39:10
`
1:22:39:11
blown up by a grenade.
1:22:41:09
`
1:22:53:09
We travelled for nine or ten days.
1:22:58:00
`
1:23:00:11
Once we were allowed out.
That was in Leningrad.
1:23:03:18
`
1:23:04:06
They took the dead out
of the wagon then.
1:23:07:00
`
1:23:09:00
After that we travelled
on to Petrozavodsk.
1:23:12:10
`
1:23:53:18
When they let us out of the wagon,
we threw ourselves onto the snow.
1:23:56:10
`
1:23:56:11
It was so cold and wet.
It was wonderful.
1:24:00:00
`
1:24:00:22
Our dirty ragged group walked on
across the frozen surface of a lake.
1:24:06:00
`
1:24:06:14
The first lice had already
appeared on the train.
1:24:08:20
`
1:24:16:05
We walked a long way until at last
we were herded into a huge camp.
1:24:19:05
`
1:24:57:09
I remember one woman,
Schreiber I think her name was.
1:24:59:16
`
1:24:59:17
She said to me,
“You shouldn’t cry.
1:25:03:00
`
1:25:03:01
You will go home.
You are still young.
1:25:05:20
`
1:25:05:21
Then your life will begin.
1:25:07:21
`
1:25:07:22
But I don’t even know
where my children are.”
1:25:10:16
`
1:25:10:21
I thought at the time that
the old woman was talking nonsense.
1:25:13:00
`
1:25:13:01
- Was she an old woman?
- Yes.
1:25:16:00
`
1:25:16:05
For us the thirty-, forty-
and fifty-year-olds were old.
1:25:20:00
`
1:25:20:03
Ida Kant…
She was 27 then.
1:25:23:14
`
1:25:23:15
Yes, they all seemed
old women to us.
1:25:25:21
`
1:25:28:18
I already said. Back then
I didn’t understand her.
1:25:31:23
`
1:25:32:09
What happened to them
after the war?
1:25:35:21
`
1:25:38:17
One woman said that when
she got home her little child said to her:
1:25:43:00
`
1:25:45:03
“Are you my mummy? But I have
another mummy in Russia.”
1:25:49:09
`
1:25:52:02
I think that everything
worked out for her.
1:25:55:17
`
1:25:55:19
- Yes, but Ida Kant…
- What’s with her and her son?
1:25:59:00
`
1:25:59:02
She would often phone me of an evening,
and say, “I can’t stand it any more…”
1:26:04:03
`
1:26:04:04
I was dreadfully sorry for her…
1:26:07:03
`
1:26:08:16
I reckon we were lucky
and we are happy,
1:26:11:20
`
1:26:11:21
because we have remarkable families.
1:26:15:10
`
1:26:15:11
- Yes.
- And we’re calm in our minds now.
1:26:17:23
`
1:26:17:24
I agree that we should certainly
be happy.
1:26:21:20
`
1:26:24:01
We were able to survive everything,
because we were young.
1:26:27:10
`
1:26:29:05
Yes, but it was the young
who died in the camp.
1:26:31:10
`
1:26:31:15
We survived, though,
and we are all right now.
1:26:36:05
`
1:26:37:10
We should tell everyone
what happened to us.
1:26:40:10
`
1:26:40:11
It is our duty to those
who are not with us now.
1:26:45:08
`
1:26:48:02
We should be grateful to fate
1:26:52:00
`
1:26:52:01
for the life we have today.
1:26:56:04
`
1:27:02:10
But that is just on the surface.
1:27:04:10
`
1:27:06:23
Many carry those sufferings
inside them
1:27:10:00
`
1:27:10:01
to the ends of their lives.
1:27:12:00
`
1:27:16:04
I reckon that
if you have a family,
1:27:19:20
`
1:27:19:21
then you have to overcome
all the adversities.
1:27:22:17
`
1:27:23:14
Especially, if you have children.
1:27:26:02
`
1:27:26:03
Lots of the girls couldn’t start
their own families
1:27:29:20
`
1:27:29:21
because of the physical
and mental wounds.
1:27:31:17
`
1:27:56:00
That first night in the camp
we slept like logs,
1:27:59:00
`
1:27:59:01
but when we woke in the morning
we couldn’t recognise each other.
1:28:02:08
`
1:28:02:13
The camp was infested with bedbugs.
1:28:05:20
`
1:28:07:03
We were bitten terribly.
1:28:09:20
`
1:28:13:13
The bugs had been starving.
1:28:18:00
`
1:28:18:01
The camp had probably
not been used for a long time.
1:28:23:20
`
1:28:27:24
After three days we set to work.
1:28:33:03
`
1:28:35:12
The latrines needed cleaning.
1:28:39:01
`
1:28:41:02
Great heaps had accumulated there…
1:28:43:16
`
1:28:46:00
of frozen faeces.
1:28:48:23
`
1:28:52:21
That was hard work
1:28:56:00
`
1:28:56:01
for fifteen-year-olds,
who were starving as well.
1:28:59:13
`
1:28:59:20
But in that camp
it was considered light work.
1:29:03:14
`
1:29:05:18
Some people had a strong
constitution by nature,
1:29:10:11
`
1:29:10:12
but many were already sick,
1:29:14:10
`
1:29:15:00
and could barely stay
on their feet.
1:29:19:20
`
1:29:20:10
In the early days the death rate
in the camp
1:29:23:00
`
1:29:23:10
was very high.
1:29:25:17
`
1:29:30:10
They died from exhaustion,
from an epidemic of typhus,
1:29:36:00
`
1:29:37:06
from venereal diseases,
as a result of miscarriages.
1:29:42:20
`
1:29:44:12
In our camp there was diphtheria
as well.
1:29:47:16
`
1:29:48:00
But very many women died…
1:29:52:00
`
1:29:53:00
simply from despair
and lack of hope.
1:29:57:20
`
1:29:57:23
Many people’s legs swelled up. I had
dropsy or oedematous malnutrition.
1:30:03:00
`
1:30:03:23
Nearly everyone suffered
from deep septic ulcers.
1:30:08:10
`
1:30:15:00
That was from starvation too.
1:30:18:08
`
1:30:19:08
The ulcers took
a very long time to heal.
1:30:22:10
`
1:30:22:11
The scars are still there
on my legs…
1:30:25:20
`
1:30:35:20
When we went to work outside the camp,
we had to stop in front of the gates.
1:30:40:00
`
1:31:40:01
Each time we were counted.
1:31:43:00
`
1:31:43:16
Alongside was the infirmary hut
1:31:47:04
`
1:31:47:17
where they sent the girls
who were hopelessly ill.
1:31:50:15
`
1:31:51:18
Their hair had been cut off
and they were as thin as rakes.
1:31:55:06
`
1:31:55:18
They stood by the window and
kept signalling us to come over.
1:32:00:00
`
1:32:00:05
They were always trying
to ask us something.
1:32:03:10
`
1:32:03:11
We couldn’t go to them because
the guards were all around.
1:32:08:00
`
1:32:08:12
We were simply afraid as well
that we couldn’t…
1:32:11:10
`
1:32:13:00
do what they would ask us.
1:32:17:00
`
1:32:21:10
It was unbearable.
1:32:23:06
`
1:32:24:15
I felt awful: those eyes,
those close-cropped heads…
1:32:27:15
`
1:32:28:21
They looked horrible.
1:32:32:10
`
1:32:33:07
Then we went out to work again.
I thought it would never end.
1:32:37:03
`
1:33:01:15
It seemed that the whole world
had broken down.
1:33:03:15
`
1:33:03:17
More than anything
I wanted to die.
1:33:05:21
`
1:33:05:23
At sixteen I was raped
by Russian soldiers.
1:33:08:21
`
1:33:09:00
Work. Two-and-a-half years
of nothing but work and hunger.
1:33:13:00
`
1:33:16:07
It was all terrible.
1:33:19:16
`
1:33:19:20
I was almost certain that
I would never get back home.
1:33:24:20
`
1:33:43:20
My maiden name was Strunk.
1:33:47:04
`
1:33:47:18
There was another woman
in the camp with the same surname.
1:33:50:18
`
1:33:50:19
We lived in the same hut.
1:33:53:05
`
1:33:53:10
She was from Elbing too,
but wasn’t a relative.
1:33:56:23
`
1:33:57:07
She worked in the burial team and got
a little extra soup on account of that.
1:34:02:08
`
1:34:04:00
She always shared with me.
1:34:07:00
`
1:34:07:01
But I couldn’t have worked
in the burial team.
1:34:11:00
`
1:34:11:04
She told me that the land
in those parts was marshy,
1:34:15:04
`
1:34:15:05
and they dug down no depth at all.
1:34:18:17
`
1:34:18:20
The corpses had no clothes on them,
1:34:22:20
`
1:34:22:21
they dropped them naked
into the graves.
1:34:26:15
`
1:34:27:08
It’s a nightmare.
1:34:30:22
`
1:34:31:14
In the early days in our camp,
1:34:35:00
`
1:34:36:01
many girls died.
1:34:38:04
`
1:34:39:00
Of those on our train
1:34:42:00
`
1:34:42:05
almost half died.
1:34:44:04
`
1:34:46:09
One woman gave birth
to a child in the camp
1:34:49:20
`
1:34:53:16
and soon died.
1:34:55:12
`
1:34:57:00
Then the child died too.
1:34:59:06
`
1:34:59:10
We felt so sorry for it.
It lived such a short time.
1:35:05:00
`
1:35:12:07
Almost all the girls said
that they had been raped.
1:35:16:09
`
1:35:16:20
Children were born in the camp,
but many died.
1:35:20:11
`
1:35:20:12
I remember that one woman
gave birth to a child and remained alive.
1:35:24:14
`
1:35:24:15
She even went home with the child.
1:35:28:17
`
1:35:53:19
My sister grew weaker by the day.
1:35:55:20
`
1:35:55:21
She was unable to swallow for pain
and so she couldn’t eat.
1:35:59:16
`
1:36:01:01
They gave us a lump
of sugar each every day.
1:36:05:00
`
1:36:05:22
I got my sugar like everyone else.
1:36:08:10
`
1:36:08:11
By the camp fence there were
clumps of raspberries growing.
1:36:12:12
`
1:36:12:24
The leaves had already been eaten.
I boiled tea from the stems,
1:36:16:14
`
1:36:16:15
put the sugar in it
and took it to my sister.
1:36:19:06
`
1:36:19:20
I thought that the sugar
would help her…
1:36:24:20
`
1:36:25:00
to get better, at least a little.
1:36:28:19
`
1:36:28:20
Then they told me that it was forbidden
to go into the infirmary hut any more,
1:36:33:11
`
1:36:33:12
because a typhus epidemic had started.
1:36:35:14
`
1:36:35:17
That was a terrible blow to me
1:36:38:18
`
1:36:39:21
to have to leave her alone.
1:36:42:14
`
1:36:43:11
When I nonetheless managed
to get up to the window, she said:
1:36:49:00
`
1:36:51:00
“Don’t come back again,
otherwise they will punish me.”
1:36:55:00
`
1:36:55:20
We were punished for everything.
1:36:58:20
`
1:36:58:23
My sister said: “I’m sure you
will make it home, but I will die here.
1:37:03:04
`
1:37:03:06
You should take word home.”
1:37:06:00
`
1:37:29:10
I remember two women
coming towards me.
1:37:32:20
`
1:37:37:00
One was a German.
1:37:40:03
`
1:37:40:14
Her red hair was like a red rag
to a bull for everyone.
1:37:45:08
`
1:37:46:22
She came up to me and shouted:
1:37:49:15
`
1:37:50:01
“If you want to see your sister
for the last time, go to the morgue.”
1:37:53:14
`
1:37:54:15
I felt sick.
1:37:56:11
`
1:37:56:12
My friends said:
“Let’s go together.
1:38:01:00
`
1:38:02:18
We’ll help you.”
1:38:04:21
`
1:38:06:20
The morgue was in a dug-out.
1:38:09:00
`
1:38:09:10
The corpses were piled up
on top of each other.
1:38:12:02
`
1:38:14:11
My sister was lying there naked.
1:38:16:10
`
1:38:18:20
There were lice crawling over her face,
between her fingers and toes.
1:38:22:10
`
1:38:31:04
I fainted…
1:38:33:04
`
1:38:34:05
My friends carried me out of there.
1:38:36:11
`
1:38:41:22
They were to bury my sister
the next day.
1:38:46:01
`
1:38:46:02
I wanted to go along, of course,
but the girls wouldn’t let me.
1:38:49:05
`
1:38:51:22
They said I wouldn’t be able
to forget it for the rest of my life.
1:38:55:16
`
1:38:56:06
They were buried in a hole
half a metre deep, full of water. Naked.
1:39:01:09
`
1:39:02:00
They tipped the bodies out
of the blankets…
1:39:06:00
`
1:39:07:14
so as to use the blankets again.
1:39:10:08
`
1:39:11:14
The girls physically kept me in the hut,
so as to prevent me going.
1:39:17:00
`
1:39:21:09
That’s how I parted from my sister.
I couldn’t bear it.
1:39:26:07
`
1:39:26:23
Later one of the women who had
been with her in the infirmary hut
1:39:30:00
`
1:39:30:01
told me
1:39:32:00
`
1:39:32:02
that my sister had been punished
1:39:36:00
`
1:39:36:08
because I visited her and
talked with her through the window.
1:39:40:08
`
1:39:40:18
She came down with dysentery.
She had to use the slop-pail,
1:39:43:24
`
1:39:44:00
but it was full to the brim and
she had to squat down alongside.
1:39:47:12
`
1:39:49:00
In that condition they made
her wash the whole the hut.
1:39:53:20
`
1:39:55:15
An hour later, my sister
was taken to the morgue…
1:39:59:00
`
1:40:01:19
People also told me that when I was
in the morgue and cried so much,
1:40:05:16
`
1:40:06:18
my sister suddenly opened her eyes.
She was probably still alive.
1:40:09:18
`
1:40:12:10
Can they really have buried
my sister alive?
1:40:15:04
`
1:40:18:03
Who gave the order
to clean up the hut?
1:40:22:22
`
1:40:23:17
Who gave the order
to take her to the morgue?
1:40:26:22
`
1:40:27:06
It’s hard to remember now
1:40:30:00
`
1:40:30:01
whether there was one of our people there
or the Russians gave the orders.
1:40:34:00
`
1:40:34:01
I never could tell mother
how my sister’s life ended.
1:40:39:00
`
1:41:27:24
We understood
that the war was over
1:41:31:00
`
1:41:31:01
because the Russians
became very happy.
1:41:33:09
`
1:41:34:16
And then came a moment
when the barbed-wire gates were opened
1:41:37:10
`
1:41:37:14
and we were told there was
no going back home for us.
1:41:40:12
`
1:41:42:14
They gave each of us a paper
1:41:45:15
`
1:41:45:20
which stated
that we had been released.
1:41:50:10
`
1:41:53:01
I don’t remember
where I put that paper.
1:41:56:00
`
1:41:58:03
The crowd of released detainees
was enormous.
1:42:03:09
`
1:42:04:24
But we were stunned by the news
that we could not return home
1:42:08:21
`
1:42:09:13
and none of us knew where to go…
1:42:11:08
`
1:42:21:10
“The Free German Youth.
Goodness, how wonderful.”
1:42:25:12
`
1:42:25:14
What a word - “Free”!
1:42:28:04
`
1:42:28:20
If someone has never been in a camp,
never locked up, they can’t understand.
1:42:32:06
`
1:42:33:01
Never being allowed to go anywhere,
constantly watched over by guards…
1:42:37:00
`
1:42:39:17
It’s unbearable.
1:42:41:00
`
1:42:41:01
The Free German Youth!
1:42:43:01
`
1:42:43:02
I immediately responded and said:
“I want to join , I want to be free!”
1:42:47:07
`
1:42:48:06
In “FGY” they said
they were very pleased
1:42:51:00
`
1:42:51:01
and that I should come
to a meeting and say
1:42:55:00
`
1:42:55:01
that I was proud to have been able
to work for five years in Russia.
1:42:59:00
`
1:42:59:11
I said, “How can I be proud?
I was raped at the age of 16.
1:43:04:04
`
1:43:04:05
For five years I had to starve,
live behind barbed wire
1:43:07:08
`
1:43:07:10
and do forced labour.
1:43:11:05
`
1:43:11:10
And I should be proud of that?”
1:43:14:10
`
1:43:14:12
“Of course, you should be proud,”
they said.
1:43:17:00
`
1:43:17:01
“We would be happy, if we
had been able to do that.”
1:43:19:20
`
1:43:19:21
I said, “Go on then, you go
to Russia. You can do it too.”
1:43:22:20
`
1:43:22:21
But they didn’t go.
1:43:24:08
`
1:44:51:04
When at last will people understand
that war brings no-one any good?
1:44:55:06
`
1:44:57:00
Women suffer more from war
than men.
1:45:00:00
`
1:45:03:11
Why does it happen?
1:45:05:10
`
1:45:07:12
Men wage war,
and women pay the price.
1:45:11:10
`
1:45:14:12
And children suffer
even more from war.
1:45:16:21
`
1:45:47:11
How hard it was to drag you
on carts through the forest…
1:45:53:20
`
1:45:55:15
and to bury you in those pits
full of water, to throw you in naked.
1:45:59:21
`
1:46:03:07
It was forbidden to place
even a fir branch.
1:46:06:07
`
1:46:16:12
Why did we all have to pay
for what they began?
1:46:21:20
`
1:46:23:23
Why the most innocent?
1:46:25:20
`
1:46:29:13
You with your lives…
1:46:34:19
`
1:46:39:20
us with our bodies and our souls.
1:46:43:00
`
1:47:07:09
Everyone is mourning
and thinking of you today.
1:47:10:00
`
1:47:11:00
Our friends know
that I have come here.
1:47:13:12
`
1:47:26:03
How many mothers have wept
for your sufferings!
1:47:28:20
`
1:48:01:12
I would endure any hardships
1:48:04:07
`
1:48:06:15
if only this nightmare
had never happened.
1:48:08:18
`
1:48:50:16
Dear Gretchen,
so we have met at last.
1:48:53:14
`
1:49:08:23
May you rest in peace
1:49:11:02
`
1:49:11:04
and God’s blessing be on you.
1:49:13:10
`
1:49:38:04
In my heart you are still alive today,
1:49:41:09
`
1:49:45:19
my dear sister.
1:49:47:10
`
1:49:58:08
May all your souls find peace.
1:50:00:05
`
1:50:04:21
Remember how you loved
to bring Mother flowers?
1:50:07:19
`
1:50:10:21
Now I have brought
this rose for you.
1:50:13:08
`
1:50:25:15
Rest in peace, all of you…
1:50:27:15
`
1:50:29:06
here in a foreign land.
1:50:31:08
`
1:50:35:09
Fifty years I have dreamed
of speaking to you…
1:50:38:23
`
1:50:42:14
and only today has it happened.
1:50:45:00