Fatmas Eltern in der Küche
Father: (Nahaufnahme Gesicht)
(02’02) "Children, I don't know, dad nice or not."
Mother: (am Spülstein)
(02’06) " You don't know, why you don´t know?"
Father: (durch die Küche gehend)
(02’07) "Mum, Mum, oh Mamma mia".
Mother: (Vater wendet sich zur Tür)
(02’10) "Why you don´t know, children love you or not?"
Father: (dreht sich in der Tür noch mal um)
(02’15) "Children always say: ´Mum love. No . Dad go away."
Mother: (tanzt triumphierend in der Küche)
(02’19) "Yes, mum always there, always care. " (laughing)
Oton Fatma (on):
(02’28) "Yes, everyone is loving mum, only mum – dad is never loved."
Mother:
(2’32) "always like that."
(zieht grimmige Grimasse)
Oton Fatma: INSERT: Fatma B:
(2’35) “My parents feel, which position they have among us children. And …”
Vater salutierend im Türrahmen:
"in recent years my father has realized how powerless he has suddenly become, (( (Yes,and) without that love - that you need from your children - your heart becomes quite empty.")
Fatma mit Vater in der Diele, fasst ihn an der Hand, redet auf ihn ein
(3’01) "The forced marriage was a problem, that really destroyed the love between us kids and Dad (- it just broke)."
Fatmas Mutter tanzend in der Küche
“And Mum used this for her benefits. She laughed and she danced. And she was proud, that she was loved by us children, because it was her,
Fatma und Mutter am Küchentisch, Mutter küsst die Tochter
who understood us and who went through all this with us."
Fatma und Mutter am Esstisch, Nahaufnahmen
Unterhaltung Mutter Tochter:
Fatma:
(3’38) “But I said to Dad: ´Dad, I don't want to marry.´ And both of you said: ´You have to marry.´"
Mother:
(3’43) "Yes, yes,´You have to.´"
Oton Fatma: (Mutter nah, isst Zuckerstücke und trinkt Tee)
(3’49) "Eat sugar and speak sweetly´ that's a Kurdish and also a Turkish saying. It´s very important in our culture. People say it, when there is a disaggreement.
"Mum wanted to express with the sugar: `Let's talk about something nice,
Fatma tätschelt Hand der Mutter, die neben Zuckerstücken auf dem Tisch liegt
Let´s not talk about that forced marriage, that actually did happen here."
2:14 Musik: Köprüler 3
Nahaufnahme Gesicht der Mutter im Gespräch mit Fatma
Einblendung Titel:
Eat Sugar and Speak Sweetly
Nahaufnahme Gesicht Fatma im Gespräch mit Mutter
Forced marriage, family honour and the victims
A Film by Sigrid Dethloff and Renate Bernhard
Fatma und Mutter am Esstisch redend
2:36 Ende Musik: Köprüler 3
Autorentext (wenn Musik zu Ende ist. kurze Pause dann)
Fatma, 40 years old. She was nine, when she came with her parents to Germany. After years of suffering she broke with the kurdish traditions and published the story of her life. She couldn´t go on being silent and lying.
Oton Fatma: (ihre Hand an der Teetasse, die Mutter mit Zucker und Teetasse hantierend)
(4’52) "As a child, I was forced to eat sugar to speak sweetly. But sooner or later that destroys you inside and you start thinking: ´That´s not what I want.´”
Fatma und Mutter weiter am Tisch
Oton Fatma:
" And that's why I didn't just want to speak sweetly anymore, but really ..
Buch Hennamond
say what I had to say."
Fatmas Hand signiert, Fatma signierend mit zuschauendem Publikum, lauschendes Publikum durch Bücherwand gesehen, Fatma vor dem Saal, lesend, ihre Hand am Buch
Autorentext: (kleine Pause, wenn Fatma ausgeredet hat)
Fatma wrote her book for years, secretely and mainly at night - a review of three decades of her life.
Bücherstapel
"Hennamoon" has been introduced to schools in Germany.
Fatmas signierende Hand
And Fatma is often invited to educational institutions for readings and discussions on integrational problems in Germany - all this 40 years after the first Turkish immigrants came. Fatma´s experience gives an idea of the fears and problems, many immigrant children have.
Atmo-Oton Fatma: (ihr Gesicht nah)
(5’51) ”My parents didn't realize, that they should have built a bridge between the Turkish and the German culture. For me it was impossible to live half in a world that they ignored and despised, yet, in which I had to participate socially and culturally as a full member."
Zuschauerinnen
(6’10) "Writing helped me to finally let go the memories in my mind, my heart and my soul,
Fatma lesend nah, ihre Hand, die Buch hält
( because every day, no matter if I was working or in school or having a conversation, these memories always hunted me." )
O-Ton Fatma Bläser (on):
(6’39) ”I was promised as a baby already. But when I was 10, my parents had a fight with that family and broke the promise. So I was promised to Mehmet. But this was broken to, because Mehmet was suddenly forced to marry somebody else. And after that didn't work with Mehmet and me, my parents went to Turkey
Istanbul-Kulisse
and promised me to a son of a Turkish family that I didn't know at all."
O-Ton Fatma Bläser (off/on)
(7’36) ”The engagement was pronounced at 3 a.m. with a who came as a witness. In our culture, among the muslims it is very, very important that a hodscha is around as a witness of this ceremony. And then we prepared to go to Germany. I couldn't escape this promise or forced engagement. Yes and shortly before my wedding I ran away. "
Nächtliches Bild eines Schiffes am Bosporus, Wischer, einsame Person an Bord
Oton Fatma
(8’09) "I was threatened a lot by my family who persued me, and still does, and who believes that honour can only be restored through (by? with?) death. Yes, there is fear. I must say, especially at readings I am afraid to be confronted with the physical violence of my fellowman."
Fatma in der Diskussion während der Lesung
(8’40) "Discussions with Germans are very important to me. I try to open a window for them, to give an insight, what's really going on in the souls of muslim women or women who have experienced violence - what is happening in our souls, when families, by means of traditions or norms, put shackles on our hands and feet and tell us how far we can go and where to stop."
7:16 Musik: Köprüler 3
Sultanas Füsse tanzen über die Linie
7:37 Ende Musik: Köprüler 3
Sultana in Gruppe bei einer Boxübung / Sultana nah mit Lehrer
Autorentext (anfangen, wenn Musik ausklingt) :
Sultana, 17 years old, from Pakistan. She was 13, when she came to Germany, 15, when she escaped from her family.
Sultana mit Lehrer
She lives by herself now, financially supported by the German youth welfare agency. Her parents are pashtunes, an ethnic group with very strict Islamic beliefs.
Oton Sultana:
(9’52) "In our culture they say, women are men's honour…//
"And that this is god´s will and I have to stick to that. Sometimes things weren't explained to me - and I didn't like that. I had to accept it and stick to it. But somehow I couldn't."
Sultana im Kreis sitzend, beobachtet Taek Won Do-Erklärung
(10’14) "In our culture girls are engaged and married at a very young age. This can be at 14 or 15. When a child is born and then guests come around, friends and relatives, they sometimes make an agreement, that my daughter shall marry this or that one or my son shall marry your daughter. That´s how they do it."
Sprungübung wird demonstriert
O-ton Sultana (off auf Sultana nah zuschauend, lächelnd, Aufzoom auf Mitstreiter, die die Übung bereits machen,)
(10’52) "Concerning myself, I don't know much about it. But there were a few hints: my aunt always sent me dresses and gifts. And yes, I think
Oton Sultana (on):
I was supposed to be engaged to my cousin. But if I was engaged I don't know. But there were always these little hints, I would say."
Interview-Question
"And what happens, if a woman was engaged, but then chooses someone else?"
Oton Sultana:
(11’25) "Oh, that's not good. Then she must expect to be killed."
Sultana sitzt auf dem Boden und schaut der Demonstration zu
"She has to marry the man that her parents choose for her. Women are only allowed to do what their parents or brothers say, (nothing else)."
O-ton Sultana (off) Mann über ihre Beine springt, sie ist amüsiert,
(11’42) "When I turned 12, I was no longer allowed to go outside and play. It was then, that I began to feel the difference, that my brothers were treated differently, that they could wear anything, while I had to wear a headtie (head scarf?)and that, when visitors came, I was no longer allowed to enter the room - all these things."
Sultana übt treten zusammen mit Taek Won Do Lehrer, er zeigt es ihr
(12’06) "And I was never allowed to go outside. Yet, my brothers came home and could leave again, play outside and meet friends. I wasn't allowed to do all that. It felt strange, I had grown up with my elder brother, we had played together and now he had so much more freedom - and he told me what I had to do and how I had to behave."
Oton Sultana (on):
(12’38) "I think, men are somehow afraid that women then tend to go their way and are no longer obedient - and that they do what they want to do."
Sultana bei der Boxübung Sultanas Füße über die Linie springend,
Autorentext:
At 14 Sultana begins violating the boundaries set by her parents. She falls in love ...
Sultana (off)
"When I had this friend, my mother didn´t know. But when she got to know it, she got mad and hit me."
Oton Sultana (on)
(13’01) "In Pakistan women are not allowed to have a boyfriend. And in case they have, it depends on how far they went with the boyfriend. If they are lucky, they will then be married off to an old man. And in our culture women are also sold. Yes, and if they're not so lucky, they get killed, because they had a boyfriend."
Sultana vor roter Wand, tritt in Zeitlupe
Interviewquestion
"What made you run away from home?"
O-Ton Sultana (on) Gesicht
(13’33) "That´s she beat me more and more. One day she beat me so badly, she kicked me to the floor and banged my head against the wall. Not once - plenty times. That day I wanted to kill myself. I took many tablets, but then I was brought to the hospital. Yes, and thank God, I'm still alive. But then, I knew, I didn't want to live like that any more.
Auf ihren Mund schwenkt hoch auf ihr Gesicht
And then I just ran away. I wanted to live differently, I wanted to live like a human being. I wanted to be able to decide for myself."
Sultana rennend
O-Ton Sultana (off auf Rennen, dann on)
(14’14) "I didn't really plan this. I just jumped down from the balcony and ran, called the children´s emergency. They told me I should go to the youth emergency. So I went there. At first they didn't want to take me, they wanted to send me home. They said that they couldn't see that I had been beaten - and that I should go home and say, I had gone for a walk. But if I had gone home, something bad would've happened.
Sultana rennend
Oton Sultana:
(15’29) "I suppose, for a while they must have searched for me, but then they must have given up, probably thinking: ´We'll solve that later.´" Could be, I don´t know, where they are. I lost contact."
Interviewfrage:
"What does it mean, we´ll solve that later?"
Oton Sultana:
(15’41) "When I think about it, I feel a little upset. I don't know, maybe nothing happens, but maybe they'll take revenge, because I disgraced their honour.
Sultana rennend und boxend
(15’57) "But sometimes I think, they must let go these traditions, because they live in Europe. They should live in the present and not in the old age (medieval times?)."
Zeenat rennend in Zeitlupe mit fliegenden Zopf
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Hochzeitsfeier nachts
Oton Necla Kelek - Sociologist (off auf Hochzeitsfeier)
(16’23) "A Hadith says that marriage is half of the religion, the other half is serving God. Parents take that very seriously. I don´t say that they limit their children on purpose, but they think, that they are fulfilling Allah's will, and that they are doing well (doing something good?) for their children."
Buch von Necla Kelek "Die fremde Braut", Necla Kelek an ihrem Labtop schreibend
Autorentext:
Sociologist Necla Kelek, born in Istanbul. For more than 15 years she has analysed Islamic daily life in Germany concentrating on traditions, values and their origin:
Hochzeitsfeier nachts
Oton Kelek off, auf Hochzeitsfeier nachts, die dann zu Tänzen auf Hochzeitsfeier tags wechselt
(16’59) "Arranged marriage is a form, that developed from the traditions of various tribal communities, which also found its expression in Koran, in sura 24: `Marry the unmarried´ it doesn't say, `Unmarried people go and marry´.
Zuschauende junge Frauen auf der Mauer, tanzende Junge Frauen im Reigen
The sura says: `Marry the unmarried´ If the parents can't do this, then an oncle has to do it or somebody else (who is able to do it. / who is authorized?) That means, unmarried people live permanently in sin. That's why they make their children marry at a very, very young age and they don´t allow them to make their own decisions in life. In this society, there is no alternative to marriage."
Hochzeitsreigen, überwiegend mittelalterliche tanzende Männer und Frauen, anschließend junge heiratsfähige Mädchen
O-Ton Kelek
(17’54) "And I say, most of those, who get married that way, do not have individual rights, but have to obey. At first their own family, then the family of the groom and so on."
alte Frau hinter Gitterfenster und Wäscheleine
(18’09) "But democratic right means, that a person decides, where she wants to live, whom she wants to marry - and that she herself determines her life."
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45:51 Musik: Köprüler 1
Ayses Füße, Schwenk auf ihr Gesicht nah, Klingeln beim Frauennotruf,
Autorentext: (wenn Ayses Gesicht schon einen Moment im Bild ist)
Ayse. 40 years old, born in Turkey.
Her parents married her to a cousin in Germany. After 19 years of suffering she found her way to a women´s shelter and got a divorce.
Frau Wischnewski öffnet ihr die Tür,
Atmo-Oton: Begrüßung Ayse und Frau vom Frauennotruf
"How are you? - Fine. - Still fine? - Yes, still fine. - Good, come in."
Fotos: Verlobung / Ayse vor der Hochzeit / Ayse als Braut / Ayse mit Kindern
The engagement: She is 11, he 12.
At 14, she is sent to Germany to get married.
Ayse mit Kind, Schwenk auf weitere Kinder
At 15 she has her first child. Her husband beats and rapes her, but she has three more children with him.
Strandkorb nah, Hochschwenk auf Fatma und Ayse gehend
von fern Fatma und Ayse gehend
Autorentext: (erst einsetzen, wenn die Kamera auf die Gesichter hochschwenkt ist)
This is just one of those many stories, that Fatma hears from immigrant women. Ayse´s in-laws treat her like a slave. Her husband is often unemployed. She works two shifts a day and her mother-in-law collects the money.
Ayse geht auf den Strand zu sagt:
Atmo-Oton:
"Hallo."
Autorentext: einsetzen nach "Hallo"
It´s been 8 years since Ayse has lived independently, but only now has she found the courage to protest. She published her story in a book.
Frau breitet Strandtuch aus / Schwenk auf Mädchen und Ayse
Journalist Renate Eder and daughter Birgül helped her.
Blick aufs Wasser, Schwenk zurück auf Ayse, Renate, Fatma, Birgül auf dem Strandtuch im Gespräch / nah Birgül:
Autorentext: (einsetzen wenn Schwenk losgeht)
In Germany there are now more and more immigrant women standing up against their oppressers, getting together and searching for ways to free themselves.
Atmo-Oton Fatma: (nah Ayse Schwenk auf Renate und Fatma, weiter auf Birgül)
"That´s the problem. And they are looking for orientation and then they try to find it in old traditions and norms, in order to reconstruct a happy world, that is not at all happy. When somebody has to kill his sister, one has to ask, under what pressure they are here still, in the third generation."
Atmo-Oton Renate Eder: (Melone, Hände greifen zu / Renate Eder nah)
"That means, they are at a loss. They don´t know, what to do. And there is no orientation from the parents."
Atmo-Oton Fatma: (auf Totale der Gruppe)
"And then, there are certain Vorbeter, they often call them Imams, who tell the people: ´I´ll give you an orientation ...."
Birgül steht auf, geht ans Wasser, schaut aufs Wasser mit zwei schwimmenden Köpfen / von den zwei Köpfen auf die Sonnenspiegelung im Wasser
Autorentext, (einsetzen auf Birgül)
Orientation - a problem for the third generation. Birgül too has had this experience. She had plans for her future, wanted to train for a job. But her mother had a collegue, a Turkish woman with a family in Turkey – and then it happened – Birgül had just turned 16:
O-Ton Birgül: (19’57) “I was still at school, it was my last year and there were yet some exams to come. And my mother had a good friend from work who always visited us. She liked me. And one day she told me that she had an aunt in Turkey who had a son – and she wanted me to meet him, because she thought that we might fit together. Then her aunt came to Germany for three months and visited us. I also did like (liked?) her, but I said: ´I don’t want to marry now´, because I wanted to start a job training after school. And then they invited us to Turkey and said that we should just meet and if I didn´t want, nothing would happen, they said. But when I was in Turkey with my mother, they put so much pressure on us, that I finally agreed. It happened because I couldn’t stand the pressure, I just wanted them to stop.”
O-ton Ayse:
"This one said this and the other one that, that´s why. I said to myself: "I have only one daughter and my mother-in-law wants to marry her with her folks. Then she wouldn´t allow me to see her."
Interview-question:
"Would you say, it was an arranged or a forced marriage?"
O-Ton Birgül:
“It was a forced marriage, because I didn’t want to. I didn’t even get to know him. We got married within one week. His family wanted him to go to Germany. That’s why it happened.”
Interview-question:
"Why do you think, did your mother do that to you?"
O-Ton Birgül:
(21’40) “Because she was under pressure too. Normally she wouldn’t have done it, but I finally said, yes mum, let’s do it, because I can’t stand the pressure. When I’m under pressure, I always say yes. And then I said to my mum: ´Yes, Mum we’ll do it.´– and then she agreed.”
Fatma und Ayse im Gespräch am Gartentisch (kurz offen stehen lassen, dann einsetzen)
Ayse wanted her daughter to find a place in the cultural circle, in which she feels she belongs. Although she suffered so much herself, the pull of tradition was stronger. She couldn´t break with it.
Schwenk Ayse und Fatma zu Birgül
20:27 Musik: Köprüler 3
Birgül:
Birgül was unhappy with the marriage that her mother had arranged for her. She is 19 years old now and already divorced.
Schwenk zurück von Birgül zu Ayse und Fatma
Fatma und Ayse
New contacts are opening Ayse´s world. She helped Birgül to get her divorce.
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Schwenk über Sultanas Bücher, Sultana mit Buch lesend, Sultana steht auf vom Sofa, läßt ihr Buch zurück und geht
Autorentext: (wenn Bücher-Reihe zu Ende!)
Sultana - learning for her A-levels. She wants to study - and to lead a self-determined life. In her family daughters ARE allowed to be educated. However, after school her life would have been clearly limited to looking after the family.
21:40 Ende Musik: Köprüler 3
Oton Sultana:
(23’23) "My father wanted me to become an educated woman. But don't get me wrong, he would've still made me marry somebody. As a woman, even if you have learned a profession, you have to give it up when you get married. I think, that's not good, because you learn something and could do that - but then you're not allowed to."
Sultana geht auf der Straße entlang, türkisches Ehepaar dreht sich nach ihr um
(23’56) "I was raised very strictly according to the rules of Islam. But when I came here, I realized, that women live differently here and that they have rights.
(on)
For my parents it´s a shame, that I didn´t stick to their educational rules. When I go my way (take my own decisions) people say, that my mother didn't raise me properly.
I think, that´s horrible, because it's always the mothers´ fault, no matter what you do.
Atmo Oton:
"Hallo - Hallo".
Oton Necla Kelek - Sociologist
(24’47) "Childrens´ education works like that: a child is born into a social group and has a permanent feeling of guilt towards its parents. I mean, parents say:´We gave you life so you owe us your life.´ And that's why they can rule over this life without hesitation."
Oton Sultana:
(25’11) "They have to explain to my relatives, why I'm gone and where I am. And if they find out, that I ran away, it´s a shame for them. Yes, I did disgrace (dishonor, besmirch, sully, stain??) my family and the honour of my family. My father isn't a real man anymore, because he hasn't got his family under control and can not educate his children properly. It's not nice for them."
Sultana kommt aus Unschärfe, nimmt Handy aus der Tasche, das geklingelt hat
Oton Sultana:
(25’57) "My mother told me stories. For example a story about a woman, who ran away with her boyfriend and had children - and when the parents found out, they took the children away from them and killed both."
Sultana kommt in Küche, stellt Teller ab
Oton Sultana:
"Concerning that couple, what really astonished me was, that my mother said: ´Yes, the woman deserved to be killed´. Another time we saw a tv-report about a women´s shelter in Pakistan. There was a mother who entered the shelter and shot her daughter. I was so horrified, when I saw that, but my mum just said: ´She deserved it, the parents didn't do anything wrong.´ That frightened me, really."
Sultana kommt mit einer Tasse Tee und setzt sich an ihren Schreibtisch, und lernt
Oton Sultana:
(26’53) "I would like to explain to them, that I just wanted to live like a human being. And that I have my own will, that I want to live how I want to live and not the way they want me to live. I don't want to be a housewife. Well, o.k. sometime later, not now. Now I want to study. I want to learn a profession, yes, I want to be independent."
25:35 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Sultana lächelnd auf der Straße am Handy, sagt: "
Atmo-Oton
"Thank you I´m fine. And you?"
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Überblendung in Fahrt auf der Landstraße nach Diyabarkir
25:54 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Autorentext: (auf zweitem Fahrtbild einsetzen)
Fatma on a research-trip to Anatolia. It´s been 20 years since she escaped the wedding that was forced onto her. She's writing a new book now: Where do the traditions come from, which made her suffer so much?
Musik von der Hochzeit wird hörbar
Fahrt, Schwenk über das Stadtpanorama von Diyarbarkir auf Hochzeitsszene, Tanzende in einem Innenhof von oben
(27’53) "When we heard the music from the street, I realized that the music was arousing feelings of joy in me and yes, of dancing - and this wedding (and all the people that were coming). It was such a nice feeling. And I realized that I was walking faster to participate (in the wedding)."
Fatma (on)
(28’22) "And when we got there and saw all these people, it was a wonderful - people singing, the music and It was so nice that I was asked to dance with them and to be able to show them that I can still dance."
Fatma tanzend unter den Hochzeitsgästen
"And to be able to speak the Kurdish with them. They were happy to see that even though I was living in Germany for such a long time, I was still able to speak quite well."
Frauen mit Kindern schauen von oben, von einer Mauer zu
Atmosphäre von der Hochzeit, Tänze im Hof
die Musiker
Mann tanzt mit grünem Tuch
Frauen am Rand sitzend, Schwenk zurück auf den Hochzeitsreigen
Frauen die bedrückt schauen
(29’31) "But then my attention turned to the faces of the women.”
Hochzeitsbilder
Fatma unter den Tanzenden
"I smiled, while I was dancing, but I was observing. What are they thinking? Is it a joyfull dance, because two people in love are getting married?"
Die Hochzeitsgesellschaft im Hof, diverse Einstellungen
"And I realized after looking at some women, that this was not a dance of joy - there was much more behind it."
Fatma Oton (on)
(30’06) "And when we went to the room of the bride, I still hoped to see a happy bride who was laughing and saying: `Hey, I'm getting married!´.
das melancholische Gesicht der Braut nah
"But when we got there, I saw the sadness in her face."
applaudierende Gäste, Fatma unter ihnen
Bruder bindet der Braut die Schleife um
"And then to see the brother, how he put the ribbon around her, which didn´t really work, it was quite obvious for me, that he sensed, his sister wasn´t happy."
Hochzeitsgesellschaft johlt, Schwenk von Bruder auf die klatschende Familie
(30’53) "In our culture it's a tradition that the eldest brother or the father decorates the bride with the ribbon as a symbol for her virginity."
Klatschende Frauen und Kinder (nah), verschiedene Nahaufnahmen der Frauen, die dabei sind und alle etwas traurig aussehen:
" The one who places the ribbon declares symbolically: ´I hereby present my sister or daughter (to your son and family) as a vergin.´"
"The entire family, the whole clan, confirms with this red ribbon, that she is pure. This is very very important. The name and the face of the family is at stake."
Fatma in der Hochzeitsgesellschaft klaschend, klatschende und tanzende Frauen, Braut dahinter, die ganz bedrückt und unbeteiligt aussieht
(31’49) "What really saddened me, was to hear again and again: ´Smile, it's your wedding.
Frau tanzt wild im Vordergrund
Show them, how happy you are. You'll be brought away soon.´
And she was always looking and trying to make some kind of
Fatma schaut zu
facial expression, / while her body spoke quite a different language,
Familie setzt sich zum Foto um die Braut, der Bruder neben ihr
" It really hurt me to see that."
(32’40) "And it made me so sad, that I wanted to know, what was going on there."
Nahaufnahme der Braut, die befremdet um sich schaut
Braut wird vom Bräutigam aus dem Haus geführt
Autorentext:
At first the women tried to persuade Fatma that it was love and that the bride wanted to get married. But Fatma insisted. Finally they told her, they were not allowed to talk about it. Her real fiancé had died just a few weeks ago. But the family had kept the wedding promise and decided that another son should marry her in order to save their honour - and hers.
Auto mit den Brautleuten fährt weg, junge Männer
(Oton Fatma (on)
(33’17) "She had to marry a man that she didn't want to marry. Actually she was promised to the brother, but the brother died and therefore she had to marry the other brother.")
Gedränge vor dem Haus, in das die Braut geführt wurde, Leute strömen nach
Bräutigam nah mit versteinertem Gesicht
Brautzimmer: Braut und Bräutigam sitzen befremdet nebeneinander, Braut weint, eine Frau richtet ihren Kopf auf)
"For the parents of the bride it's the best thing to happen. Because otherwise the family of the bride would have problems to marry her to somebody else."
Fatma (off):
"She had to have this wedding only to save the honour of her family. She gives her live, has to stay there forever and wait that love might come."
Nächtliche Hochzeitsfeier
(34’03) "I have spoken to many, many women - and (with shivering bodys and souls) they told me how terrible it was to survive the first night. You're nervous and afraid - and there's that pressure to prove to your mother-in-law that you're still a virgin. This pressure makes the first night very painful, very very painful."
(34’39) "You're torn in all directions and so tense, that you fear not to bleed. And you are afraid: ´What will happen if I don´t? What will they do to me? They´ll either kill me or marry me off to an old man.´ It´s really like that: if they can´t get rid of you by killing you, they marry you to an old man as his second or third wife.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Insert: Diyabarkir / South-East-Anatolia !!!
Friedhof Diyarkir Gräber, Fatma kommt mit Blumen
Autorentext: (wenn Fatma im Bild)
Fatma is visiting the grave of a woman who was stoned to death by her family and neighbors - five months pregnant. Semse Allak´s family had found out that she was already pregnant, when she got married. According to the honour code in traditional patriachal societies worldwide, this is a crime to be paid with death.
Fatma am Grab von Semse
(35’33) "I didn´t take this as an isolated case, because I've dealt with that problem for years. I spoke to families in Germany, Turkey and East-Anatolia. And I heard so often about women who supposedly had committed suicide. But after some research I found out that they had been killed. That they were for example thrown from a balcony by their little brother or somebody else, just to get rid of them."
Autorentext: (AUF BETER /TOTENGEBET)
Semse Allak from South-East-Anatolia is just one of many women all over the globe, who get killed in the name of honour.
Only recently the United Nations started to keep statistics, estimating: worldwide, there are about 5000 honour crimes each year.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fatma in einem Hinterhof, Schwenk auf Frau
Autorentext:
In a back-yard - another forced marriage. This widow was no longer able to feed her children.
O-Ton – Fatma Bläser hört zu und übersetzt dann in die Kamera:
(37’44) “ So, they just married the daughter, without letting her know. Basically they sold her…”
Ein Mädchen wird von einer anderen Frau gebracht, Fatma begrüßt sie herzlich,
Autorentext setzt ein, wenn sie das Mädchen auf die zweite Wange geküßt hat:
Autorentext: (beim Kuss einsetzen):
The daughter of the neighbor, 14 years old. In just a few weeks she will be married too.
Oton Fatma:
"And then she said, I am not the only one, who marries her daughter early. It´s the custom over here."
Autorentext:
The mother insists, that she didn´t force her daughter, that the girl wanted it too.
Schwenk zu Mann mit Messer, der Mädchen das Messer an den Hals setzt
die Frau im Gespräch mit Fatma, Mädchen blickt sehr unsicher
Autorentext:
Fatma tries to find a way out for the girl. In vain. Because, when she marries, her family won´t have to feed her any longer. And they get money for her.
36:55 Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
Baumwollfeld:
Junges Mädchen auf Feld (einsetzen, wenn sie im Bild auftaucht)
Money for brides and marriages among cousins – these rural traditions make sure that the fields don´t have to be divided, that the money stays in the family. 90 percent of Turkish emigrants in Germany come from this background. Many of them stick to the traditions - while their relatives at home dream of a better life abroad.
37:26 Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
Oton Kelek (off, on, off)
(38’58) "Most parents believe, that marrying their children in Germany, is a good thing to do.They say, it’s better than living in an east-anatolian village and it´s beneficial for the entire family to have a relative abroad. And later, when they realize what their child has gone through and how much it has suffered after getting married – they say: ´It´s too late, it’s destiny.´ There is no bad conscience.”
Mann dreht sich ab, HImmel / Schnitt auf Gemälde, wenn Frau vorbeigeht
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Musik: Köprüler ??
Autorentext:
A women´s shelter in Germany. Saniye is 35 years old and has two children. Like thousands of Turkish women each year, she was married to a Turkish man in Germany, who she had never seen before.
Aysche setzt sich, Dolmetscherin, die ihr zuhört
12 years of marital suffering before she finally got a divorce. She doesn´t want to be recognized.
Ende Musik: Köprüler ??
It all began, when her father died. The family became poor. Marrying a son of distant relatives in Germany looked like it would solve problems.
O-Ton Saniye (on)
(40’04) "I didn’t want to marry, but my father died. We felt very close in our family so I would never have chosen to go abroad.”
Subjektive: Deutsche Fußgängerzone im Regen
O-Ton Saniye:
(40’17) “You feel helpless like a child. At home, I could talk to anybody, move freely, and dress how I wanted. It was a completely different life. I never thought that they would forbid me to do all these things.”
Subjektive: Gang über nasses Pflaster:
Autorentext:
Memories of the first welcome by her in-laws, with whom she was going to share the flat:
O-Ton Saniye:
(40’47) "None of my expectations were fullfilled. Everything developed negatively. When I entered the flat of my in-laws I was shocked – the furnishings, these people, the way they spoke and acted.”
Dolmetscherin und Aysche zusammensitzend
Autorentext:
Saniye is treated like a servant and has to obey. Nobody notices her distress:
O-Ton Saniye (off):
(41’13) "I was beaten up a lot by his mother and father and was confronted with many problems. My husband was a very discontent person, just like the rest of the family."
Subj. Bilder von deutschem Alltag
Autorentext:
Saniye wants to get in contact with German locals, she wants to learn and to work. But her bounderies are increasingly tightened.
O-Ton Saniye
(41’43) "I went to a language course (and it went pretty well. I ) started to speak some German (in the supermarket or at the doctor´s) and did so front of my husband. So he saw his own mistakes, while I was able to communicate. That frightened him, so he forced me to end the course. He feared, if I educated myself and worked, I might leave him one day. It took two months until he had forbidden everything to me and that´s when he started beating me.”
O-Ton Kelek:
(42’19) "These imported brides who are sent to Germany – in my eyes that´s a violation of human rights.”
Zwischenschnitt. Putzfrau
O-Ton Kelek (off):
“Marriages are arranged by both parents and beginning with the wedding the power over the bride goes over to her in-laws. And if she objects, if they think that the girl doesn’t meet their expectations, they’re allowed to beat her and to form her the way they want her to be.”
Kreuzberg-Bild: Slow-Motion
O-Ton Kelek ON:
(42’53) "She’s ruled by the entire family (not only by her parents-in-law, but also by oncles, aunts and cousins). As soon as she enters the clan, they are allowed to rule (over?) her.”
O-Ton Saniye:
(43’09) "The people around me constantly requested something from me and I tried to fullfill that. For example when I had a headache, I couldn’t simply lie down or I couldn’t just play with my child. They expected me to cook and to completely take care of them. I had no right to rest. My job was to serve them. There was no love, no affection. And I had to ask, when I wanted to go out.“
O-Ton Kelek (on):
(43’39) "The mothers-in-law are so harsh with the imported brides, because they went through the same thing – their marriage was also arranged. They can’t imagine a romantic love, because they’ve never experienced one. That’s the tragedy of these women, who in buying that girl finally gain authority."
Türkische Familie betritt einen Brautladen
Oton Kelek (on / off auf alte türkische Frauen Brautkleid aussuchend)
"For the first time in life she is allowed to rule over somebody, whereas before everybody ruled over her.
She would do anything, to prevent her son from falling in love. Love is individualism. Because if he´d love a girl, she would loose him. That’s why he gets married to a girl he doesn´t know and probably won´t be able to love. Nobody expects him to love his wife.”
O-Ton Saniye:
(44’35) “I have become a depressed person. (When I think about it, my hands and legs start trembling.) I’ve changed so much, I rarely speak. They’ve killed the joy in me. Now that I can go to clubs and to the movie theatre – I do not go, because I can’t, I haven’t got the power and joy anymore. Now that I’m free, I do not have the joy to do these things.”
Saniye steht auf, verläßt den Raum, Treppen-Abgang, Text erst im Treppenhaus
anfangen
43:41 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Autorentext: (nachdem die Musik eingesetzt hat)
Saniye’s mother repeatedly told her that she must not divorce her husband. This would stain the family honour.
Übergang in Fahrt durch anatolische Landschaft, vom Land in die Stadt
Autorentext:
But Saniye did. She cannot be sent back to Turkey, because she has lived long enough in Germany. But women who get divorced within the first two years of their marriage can be sent back.
Fahrt in der Stadt / Taxi
Autorentext: (wenn die Stadtbilder da sind)
On her research trip to Anatolia, Fatma hears more such stories.
Fatma B. sitzt und wartet, begrüßt eine westlich gekleidete Frau, sie unterhalten sich
Autorentext: (wenn Fatma im Bild ist)
For example at Kamer, the first shelter for women in Southeast Anatolia.
44:20 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Eine westlich gekleidete Frau kommt rein, Fatma steht auf und begrüßt sie
Autorentext: (wenn Akkoc reinkommt)
Nebahat Akkoc - the founder. Since 1997 she and her staff have helped women in situations of crisis.
Kamer-Emblem / Unterhaltung Akkoc mit Fatma:
Autorentext: (wenn Fatma mit Akkoc im Bild ist)
Kamer sees about 100 women each year who’ve been married to somebody abroad.
Beratungssituation. Aufzieher von Kopftuch auf Mitarbeiterin:
They tell the staff about the violence they experienced before they escaped. But their families won´t take them back. The honour code won´t let them.
Kamerteam am Küchentisch:
Autorentext: (einsetzen, sobald Bild da ist)
Teammeeting. Akkoc and her staff have flats for women in distress. And they inform them about their rights.
Stadtbild: Frau und Mann auf Markt
A new law in Turkey gives equal rights to men and women. And honour killings are no longer treated as a minor offence.
Markt, diverse Einstellungen
In 2003 Kamer dealt with 23 women threatened with death in the name of honour. Two of them were actually killed.
Kamer also interviewed over 5000 women, most of them illiterate. Very often they were told that they had to marry the man that the family chose in order to be a good muslim.
Unterhaltung Akkoc / Fatma:
A frequent misunderstanding. The Koran says that a marriage needs the consent of both partners.
Oton Nebahat Akkoc:
(47’09) “These problems of women have nothing to do with the Koran, it’s a global problem. Everywhere in the world men are trying to manifest their dominance. Some are trying it with the Koran and some in another way. It has nothing to do with faith …”
45:51 Musik: Köprüler 2
Fahrt aufs Land
Oton Nebahat Akkoc:
“Not only the Turkish people live like that. I’ve been to India – the Hindus live the same way.”
mehrere Dorfbilder
Brotbacken Frau mit Kind am Ofen
Autorentext (Dorfbilder)
In fact in many rural countries with traditional patriarchal hierarchies women are men´s property and have no right to decide about their sexuality.
46:23 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Autorentext (Frau beim Brotbacken)
These societies believe, that a man´s honour is defined by the chastity of his sister, wife and daughter and that this is more important than their lifes.
A man can lose his honour, because of women´s sexual behaviour, but not because of his own.
And, what exactly stains the honour, depends on the individual family.
Frau klopft ihre Hände vom Mehl ab.
ON-O-Ton Nebahat Akkoc (türkisch) :
" If a woman is not allowed to wear make up, because her family said so – that’s a norm. And if she doesn’t stick to that norm, it means that she has already disgraced the honour – and she’ll be punished. For example, a family where the daughter goes to University, gets her degree and goes to work – if her family wants her to marry, she has to follow, otherwise she’s disgracing the honour. So, what does honour really mean? Honour is a subjective norm set by the family.”
47:19 Musik: Köprüler 1
Blendfahrt nach Istanbul vom Land in die Stadt
Insert: Istanbul
Fatmas Mutter kommt auf Betrachter zu
Atmo-Otöne Fatma & Mutter
“ Hello mum, - Salemaleikum – what are you doing?“
Fatma steigt aus dem Taxi. Mutter und Tochter gehen ins Haus
47:38 Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
Autorentext: (einsetzen, wenn sie aus dem Taxi gestiegen ist)
20 years have passed since Fatma was forced to get engaged to a man that she would have never chosen herself. Her escape caused a deep break in the family. In her father´s eyes she had disgraced the family honour.
Vater steht in der Türe/Fatma mit Vater im Wohnzimmer telefonierend:
For more than 10 years he claimed she was dead. Then an uncle from Turkey acted as a mediator. He had found out that his niece had married a wealthy German.
Mutter auf dem Dach beim Wäsche-Aufhängen:
Fatma´s mother was unable to help her daughter against her husband´s will. Wives must obey. She objected the way she could, secretely keeping in contact with her daughter.
If the family had found out, she would have been beaten.
Mutter sagt: "Wish, wish, wish" und geht zum Rand des Daches
Atmo_Oton Mutter: (nicht übersetzen)
"Wish, wish wish."
Autorentext (wenn Mutter steht):
Today Fatma is able to see the social pressure that pushed her parents to act in the way they did.
O-Ton – ON – Fatma
(49’16) “The reason for my forced marriage was that my parents were afraid that I would live a self-determined and free life in Germany. And my age was a problem too – in Turkish eyes I was already quite old. At 19 or 20 you have to be married …”
Vater kommt unsicher rein
O-Ton Fatma zuerst im OFF
“And for my father it was most important that I // should never disgrace the honour. So he tried to do something about it to prevent that.”
Fatma mit Vater im Wohnzimmer/Bilder der Distanz, der Unsicherheit, darüber
OFF-O-Töne von Fatma:
(49’54) "If the fathers wouldn’t stick so strictly to the old Turkish traditions, they would get much more love from their children. I think, he realized that he did wrong many times, but he seems to be afraid to talk about it and to be confronted again with the whole story.”
Oton Fatma (on):
(50’23) “I would say that the men I know are prisoners of our traditional roles – they have to live after these rules and make their wifes and daughters follow.”
Süßigkeiten auf dem Tisch, Aufzoom auf Mutter beim Abwaschen, Vater geht durch, Mutter an der Spüle nah
Autorentext: wenn von Süßigkeiten bei Mutter angekommen:
Fatma’s mother lives in a marriage, that neither she nor her family had wanted. But her husband wanted her, because she came from a wealthy family.
And he knew, tradition was on his side:
If a woman get´s raped, it´s she, who disgraces the family honour. Only her death can wash this off - or the rapist marries her:
OFF-Ton-Fatma (während Mutter weiter im Bild ist) :
(51’07)“My father and his friends kidnapped my mother.”
ON_O-Ton Mutter:
(51’13) “Six, seven men tied my arms, tied my legs, took me away.”
ON-O-Ton Fatma; mit den Mutter-Bildern:
(51’24) “Then he raped her, so she had no chance to go back.“
ON-O-Ton Mutter:
(51’32) “Comes towards me. I say: I kill you. But he didn´t let me go, didn´t let me go."
OFF-O-Ton Fatma /oder ON, dann besser zu schneiden:
(51’38) //“ (…)as soon as she is besmirched / sullied, she can´t go back home. A woman who is besmirched / sullied? and goes back, she can forget about her a life.”
ON-Ton-Fatmas Mutter:
(52’03) “Then they hit my hand, knife gone. Then come, tie my hands, take me and my husband sleep with me."
OFF-O-Ton Fatma:
(52’17) “These women only think about suicide, because they just live in hell."
O-Ton Fatmas Mutter (Abschlussbild Gebäck)
(52’28) “Oh my life … first day everything, my life destroyed. Yes, life dead. Now sit - eat, sit - eat. Yeah, my life."
O-Ton Fatma (off) auf Busfahrt mit Mutter
(52’50) “That didn’t only happen to my mother, it happened to many, many women – and it still happens today. Even in Germany, women get kidnapped …// They get raped. And after they’ve been besmirched / sullied ? the honour is disgraced. So they have to marry and to live with that man.” (53’10)
53: Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
53: Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
Länge: 52:45 vor Vorspann
Vorspann Ende 53:17
"Eat Sugar and Speak Sweetly"
A film by
Renate Bernhard and Sigrid Dethloff
Camera:
Boris Nachtigal
Sigrid Dethloff
Knut Reinhardt
Frank Lange
Renate Bernhard
Ali Hedjrat
Journalistic Assistence:
Astrid Houben
Andrea Biesler
Post Production:
Knut Reinhardt
Post Production Sound:
Rainer Janster
Music:
Köprüler: Enstrümantal
Ada Müzik Copyright Ada 2002, www.adamusic.net
Bar-Code: B 692646 501526
1. Erkan Ogür: Vardim baktim demir kapi sürgülü
2. Mazeum Cimen: Kalanlarin Ardindan
3. Ahu Saglam: Gülumcan
Speaker:
Wilhelmina Lyffyt
Interpreting and translation Turkish:
Fatma B.
Petra Wurzel
Translation and Subtitles English:
Renate Bernhard
We thank Fatma B., Sultana, Saniye, Ayse and Birgül. Without their courage this film would not have been possible. For security reasons, we had to keep their identities covered and gave them other names.
CouRage-Film 2005
Father: (Nahaufnahme Gesicht)
(02’02) "Children, I don't know, dad nice or not."
Mother: (am Spülstein)
(02’06) " You don't know, why you don´t know?"
Father: (durch die Küche gehend)
(02’07) "Mum, Mum, oh Mamma mia".
Mother: (Vater wendet sich zur Tür)
(02’10) "Why you don´t know, children love you or not?"
Father: (dreht sich in der Tür noch mal um)
(02’15) "Children always say: ´Mum love. No . Dad go away."
Mother: (tanzt triumphierend in der Küche)
(02’19) "Yes, mum always there, always care. " (laughing)
Oton Fatma (on):
(02’28) "Yes, everyone is loving mum, only mum – dad is never loved."
Mother:
(2’32) "always like that."
(zieht grimmige Grimasse)
Oton Fatma: INSERT: Fatma B:
(2’35) “My parents feel, which position they have among us children. And …”
Vater salutierend im Türrahmen:
"in recent years my father has realized how powerless he has suddenly become, (( (Yes,and) without that love - that you need from your children - your heart becomes quite empty.")
Fatma mit Vater in der Diele, fasst ihn an der Hand, redet auf ihn ein
(3’01) "The forced marriage was a problem, that really destroyed the love between us kids and Dad (- it just broke)."
Fatmas Mutter tanzend in der Küche
“And Mum used this for her benefits. She laughed and she danced. And she was proud, that she was loved by us children, because it was her,
Fatma und Mutter am Küchentisch, Mutter küsst die Tochter
who understood us and who went through all this with us."
Fatma und Mutter am Esstisch, Nahaufnahmen
Unterhaltung Mutter Tochter:
Fatma:
(3’38) “But I said to Dad: ´Dad, I don't want to marry.´ And both of you said: ´You have to marry.´"
Mother:
(3’43) "Yes, yes,´You have to.´"
Oton Fatma: (Mutter nah, isst Zuckerstücke und trinkt Tee)
(3’49) "Eat sugar and speak sweetly´ that's a Kurdish and also a Turkish saying. It´s very important in our culture. People say it, when there is a disaggreement.
"Mum wanted to express with the sugar: `Let's talk about something nice,
Fatma tätschelt Hand der Mutter, die neben Zuckerstücken auf dem Tisch liegt
Let´s not talk about that forced marriage, that actually did happen here."
2:14 Musik: Köprüler 3
Nahaufnahme Gesicht der Mutter im Gespräch mit Fatma
Einblendung Titel:
Eat Sugar and Speak Sweetly
Nahaufnahme Gesicht Fatma im Gespräch mit Mutter
Forced marriage, family honour and the victims
A Film by Sigrid Dethloff and Renate Bernhard
Fatma und Mutter am Esstisch redend
2:36 Ende Musik: Köprüler 3
Autorentext (wenn Musik zu Ende ist. kurze Pause dann)
Fatma, 40 years old. She was nine, when she came with her parents to Germany. After years of suffering she broke with the kurdish traditions and published the story of her life. She couldn´t go on being silent and lying.
Oton Fatma: (ihre Hand an der Teetasse, die Mutter mit Zucker und Teetasse hantierend)
(4’52) "As a child, I was forced to eat sugar to speak sweetly. But sooner or later that destroys you inside and you start thinking: ´That´s not what I want.´”
Fatma und Mutter weiter am Tisch
Oton Fatma:
" And that's why I didn't just want to speak sweetly anymore, but really ..
Buch Hennamond
say what I had to say."
Fatmas Hand signiert, Fatma signierend mit zuschauendem Publikum, lauschendes Publikum durch Bücherwand gesehen, Fatma vor dem Saal, lesend, ihre Hand am Buch
Autorentext: (kleine Pause, wenn Fatma ausgeredet hat)
Fatma wrote her book for years, secretely and mainly at night - a review of three decades of her life.
Bücherstapel
"Hennamoon" has been introduced to schools in Germany.
Fatmas signierende Hand
And Fatma is often invited to educational institutions for readings and discussions on integrational problems in Germany - all this 40 years after the first Turkish immigrants came. Fatma´s experience gives an idea of the fears and problems, many immigrant children have.
Atmo-Oton Fatma: (ihr Gesicht nah)
(5’51) ”My parents didn't realize, that they should have built a bridge between the Turkish and the German culture. For me it was impossible to live half in a world that they ignored and despised, yet, in which I had to participate socially and culturally as a full member."
Zuschauerinnen
(6’10) "Writing helped me to finally let go the memories in my mind, my heart and my soul,
Fatma lesend nah, ihre Hand, die Buch hält
( because every day, no matter if I was working or in school or having a conversation, these memories always hunted me." )
O-Ton Fatma Bläser (on):
(6’39) ”I was promised as a baby already. But when I was 10, my parents had a fight with that family and broke the promise. So I was promised to Mehmet. But this was broken to, because Mehmet was suddenly forced to marry somebody else. And after that didn't work with Mehmet and me, my parents went to Turkey
Istanbul-Kulisse
and promised me to a son of a Turkish family that I didn't know at all."
O-Ton Fatma Bläser (off/on)
(7’36) ”The engagement was pronounced at 3 a.m. with a who came as a witness. In our culture, among the muslims it is very, very important that a hodscha is around as a witness of this ceremony. And then we prepared to go to Germany. I couldn't escape this promise or forced engagement. Yes and shortly before my wedding I ran away. "
Nächtliches Bild eines Schiffes am Bosporus, Wischer, einsame Person an Bord
Oton Fatma
(8’09) "I was threatened a lot by my family who persued me, and still does, and who believes that honour can only be restored through (by? with?) death. Yes, there is fear. I must say, especially at readings I am afraid to be confronted with the physical violence of my fellowman."
Fatma in der Diskussion während der Lesung
(8’40) "Discussions with Germans are very important to me. I try to open a window for them, to give an insight, what's really going on in the souls of muslim women or women who have experienced violence - what is happening in our souls, when families, by means of traditions or norms, put shackles on our hands and feet and tell us how far we can go and where to stop."
7:16 Musik: Köprüler 3
Sultanas Füsse tanzen über die Linie
7:37 Ende Musik: Köprüler 3
Sultana in Gruppe bei einer Boxübung / Sultana nah mit Lehrer
Autorentext (anfangen, wenn Musik ausklingt) :
Sultana, 17 years old, from Pakistan. She was 13, when she came to Germany, 15, when she escaped from her family.
Sultana mit Lehrer
She lives by herself now, financially supported by the German youth welfare agency. Her parents are pashtunes, an ethnic group with very strict Islamic beliefs.
Oton Sultana:
(9’52) "In our culture they say, women are men's honour…//
"And that this is god´s will and I have to stick to that. Sometimes things weren't explained to me - and I didn't like that. I had to accept it and stick to it. But somehow I couldn't."
Sultana im Kreis sitzend, beobachtet Taek Won Do-Erklärung
(10’14) "In our culture girls are engaged and married at a very young age. This can be at 14 or 15. When a child is born and then guests come around, friends and relatives, they sometimes make an agreement, that my daughter shall marry this or that one or my son shall marry your daughter. That´s how they do it."
Sprungübung wird demonstriert
O-ton Sultana (off auf Sultana nah zuschauend, lächelnd, Aufzoom auf Mitstreiter, die die Übung bereits machen,)
(10’52) "Concerning myself, I don't know much about it. But there were a few hints: my aunt always sent me dresses and gifts. And yes, I think
Oton Sultana (on):
I was supposed to be engaged to my cousin. But if I was engaged I don't know. But there were always these little hints, I would say."
Interview-Question
"And what happens, if a woman was engaged, but then chooses someone else?"
Oton Sultana:
(11’25) "Oh, that's not good. Then she must expect to be killed."
Sultana sitzt auf dem Boden und schaut der Demonstration zu
"She has to marry the man that her parents choose for her. Women are only allowed to do what their parents or brothers say, (nothing else)."
O-ton Sultana (off) Mann über ihre Beine springt, sie ist amüsiert,
(11’42) "When I turned 12, I was no longer allowed to go outside and play. It was then, that I began to feel the difference, that my brothers were treated differently, that they could wear anything, while I had to wear a headtie (head scarf?)and that, when visitors came, I was no longer allowed to enter the room - all these things."
Sultana übt treten zusammen mit Taek Won Do Lehrer, er zeigt es ihr
(12’06) "And I was never allowed to go outside. Yet, my brothers came home and could leave again, play outside and meet friends. I wasn't allowed to do all that. It felt strange, I had grown up with my elder brother, we had played together and now he had so much more freedom - and he told me what I had to do and how I had to behave."
Oton Sultana (on):
(12’38) "I think, men are somehow afraid that women then tend to go their way and are no longer obedient - and that they do what they want to do."
Sultana bei der Boxübung Sultanas Füße über die Linie springend,
Autorentext:
At 14 Sultana begins violating the boundaries set by her parents. She falls in love ...
Sultana (off)
"When I had this friend, my mother didn´t know. But when she got to know it, she got mad and hit me."
Oton Sultana (on)
(13’01) "In Pakistan women are not allowed to have a boyfriend. And in case they have, it depends on how far they went with the boyfriend. If they are lucky, they will then be married off to an old man. And in our culture women are also sold. Yes, and if they're not so lucky, they get killed, because they had a boyfriend."
Sultana vor roter Wand, tritt in Zeitlupe
Interviewquestion
"What made you run away from home?"
O-Ton Sultana (on) Gesicht
(13’33) "That´s she beat me more and more. One day she beat me so badly, she kicked me to the floor and banged my head against the wall. Not once - plenty times. That day I wanted to kill myself. I took many tablets, but then I was brought to the hospital. Yes, and thank God, I'm still alive. But then, I knew, I didn't want to live like that any more.
Auf ihren Mund schwenkt hoch auf ihr Gesicht
And then I just ran away. I wanted to live differently, I wanted to live like a human being. I wanted to be able to decide for myself."
Sultana rennend
O-Ton Sultana (off auf Rennen, dann on)
(14’14) "I didn't really plan this. I just jumped down from the balcony and ran, called the children´s emergency. They told me I should go to the youth emergency. So I went there. At first they didn't want to take me, they wanted to send me home. They said that they couldn't see that I had been beaten - and that I should go home and say, I had gone for a walk. But if I had gone home, something bad would've happened.
Sultana rennend
Oton Sultana:
(15’29) "I suppose, for a while they must have searched for me, but then they must have given up, probably thinking: ´We'll solve that later.´" Could be, I don´t know, where they are. I lost contact."
Interviewfrage:
"What does it mean, we´ll solve that later?"
Oton Sultana:
(15’41) "When I think about it, I feel a little upset. I don't know, maybe nothing happens, but maybe they'll take revenge, because I disgraced their honour.
Sultana rennend und boxend
(15’57) "But sometimes I think, they must let go these traditions, because they live in Europe. They should live in the present and not in the old age (medieval times?)."
Zeenat rennend in Zeitlupe mit fliegenden Zopf
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hochzeitsfeier nachts
Oton Necla Kelek - Sociologist (off auf Hochzeitsfeier)
(16’23) "A Hadith says that marriage is half of the religion, the other half is serving God. Parents take that very seriously. I don´t say that they limit their children on purpose, but they think, that they are fulfilling Allah's will, and that they are doing well (doing something good?) for their children."
Buch von Necla Kelek "Die fremde Braut", Necla Kelek an ihrem Labtop schreibend
Autorentext:
Sociologist Necla Kelek, born in Istanbul. For more than 15 years she has analysed Islamic daily life in Germany concentrating on traditions, values and their origin:
Hochzeitsfeier nachts
Oton Kelek off, auf Hochzeitsfeier nachts, die dann zu Tänzen auf Hochzeitsfeier tags wechselt
(16’59) "Arranged marriage is a form, that developed from the traditions of various tribal communities, which also found its expression in Koran, in sura 24: `Marry the unmarried´ it doesn't say, `Unmarried people go and marry´.
Zuschauende junge Frauen auf der Mauer, tanzende Junge Frauen im Reigen
The sura says: `Marry the unmarried´ If the parents can't do this, then an oncle has to do it or somebody else (who is able to do it. / who is authorized?) That means, unmarried people live permanently in sin. That's why they make their children marry at a very, very young age and they don´t allow them to make their own decisions in life. In this society, there is no alternative to marriage."
Hochzeitsreigen, überwiegend mittelalterliche tanzende Männer und Frauen, anschließend junge heiratsfähige Mädchen
O-Ton Kelek
(17’54) "And I say, most of those, who get married that way, do not have individual rights, but have to obey. At first their own family, then the family of the groom and so on."
alte Frau hinter Gitterfenster und Wäscheleine
(18’09) "But democratic right means, that a person decides, where she wants to live, whom she wants to marry - and that she herself determines her life."
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45:51 Musik: Köprüler 1
Ayses Füße, Schwenk auf ihr Gesicht nah, Klingeln beim Frauennotruf,
Autorentext: (wenn Ayses Gesicht schon einen Moment im Bild ist)
Ayse. 40 years old, born in Turkey.
Her parents married her to a cousin in Germany. After 19 years of suffering she found her way to a women´s shelter and got a divorce.
Frau Wischnewski öffnet ihr die Tür,
Atmo-Oton: Begrüßung Ayse und Frau vom Frauennotruf
"How are you? - Fine. - Still fine? - Yes, still fine. - Good, come in."
Fotos: Verlobung / Ayse vor der Hochzeit / Ayse als Braut / Ayse mit Kindern
The engagement: She is 11, he 12.
At 14, she is sent to Germany to get married.
Ayse mit Kind, Schwenk auf weitere Kinder
At 15 she has her first child. Her husband beats and rapes her, but she has three more children with him.
Strandkorb nah, Hochschwenk auf Fatma und Ayse gehend
von fern Fatma und Ayse gehend
Autorentext: (erst einsetzen, wenn die Kamera auf die Gesichter hochschwenkt ist)
This is just one of those many stories, that Fatma hears from immigrant women. Ayse´s in-laws treat her like a slave. Her husband is often unemployed. She works two shifts a day and her mother-in-law collects the money.
Ayse geht auf den Strand zu sagt:
Atmo-Oton:
"Hallo."
Autorentext: einsetzen nach "Hallo"
It´s been 8 years since Ayse has lived independently, but only now has she found the courage to protest. She published her story in a book.
Frau breitet Strandtuch aus / Schwenk auf Mädchen und Ayse
Journalist Renate Eder and daughter Birgül helped her.
Blick aufs Wasser, Schwenk zurück auf Ayse, Renate, Fatma, Birgül auf dem Strandtuch im Gespräch / nah Birgül:
Autorentext: (einsetzen wenn Schwenk losgeht)
In Germany there are now more and more immigrant women standing up against their oppressers, getting together and searching for ways to free themselves.
Atmo-Oton Fatma: (nah Ayse Schwenk auf Renate und Fatma, weiter auf Birgül)
"That´s the problem. And they are looking for orientation and then they try to find it in old traditions and norms, in order to reconstruct a happy world, that is not at all happy. When somebody has to kill his sister, one has to ask, under what pressure they are here still, in the third generation."
Atmo-Oton Renate Eder: (Melone, Hände greifen zu / Renate Eder nah)
"That means, they are at a loss. They don´t know, what to do. And there is no orientation from the parents."
Atmo-Oton Fatma: (auf Totale der Gruppe)
"And then, there are certain Vorbeter, they often call them Imams, who tell the people: ´I´ll give you an orientation ...."
Birgül steht auf, geht ans Wasser, schaut aufs Wasser mit zwei schwimmenden Köpfen / von den zwei Köpfen auf die Sonnenspiegelung im Wasser
Autorentext, (einsetzen auf Birgül)
Orientation - a problem for the third generation. Birgül too has had this experience. She had plans for her future, wanted to train for a job. But her mother had a collegue, a Turkish woman with a family in Turkey – and then it happened – Birgül had just turned 16:
O-Ton Birgül: (19’57) “I was still at school, it was my last year and there were yet some exams to come. And my mother had a good friend from work who always visited us. She liked me. And one day she told me that she had an aunt in Turkey who had a son – and she wanted me to meet him, because she thought that we might fit together. Then her aunt came to Germany for three months and visited us. I also did like (liked?) her, but I said: ´I don’t want to marry now´, because I wanted to start a job training after school. And then they invited us to Turkey and said that we should just meet and if I didn´t want, nothing would happen, they said. But when I was in Turkey with my mother, they put so much pressure on us, that I finally agreed. It happened because I couldn’t stand the pressure, I just wanted them to stop.”
O-ton Ayse:
"This one said this and the other one that, that´s why. I said to myself: "I have only one daughter and my mother-in-law wants to marry her with her folks. Then she wouldn´t allow me to see her."
Interview-question:
"Would you say, it was an arranged or a forced marriage?"
O-Ton Birgül:
“It was a forced marriage, because I didn’t want to. I didn’t even get to know him. We got married within one week. His family wanted him to go to Germany. That’s why it happened.”
Interview-question:
"Why do you think, did your mother do that to you?"
O-Ton Birgül:
(21’40) “Because she was under pressure too. Normally she wouldn’t have done it, but I finally said, yes mum, let’s do it, because I can’t stand the pressure. When I’m under pressure, I always say yes. And then I said to my mum: ´Yes, Mum we’ll do it.´– and then she agreed.”
Fatma und Ayse im Gespräch am Gartentisch (kurz offen stehen lassen, dann einsetzen)
Ayse wanted her daughter to find a place in the cultural circle, in which she feels she belongs. Although she suffered so much herself, the pull of tradition was stronger. She couldn´t break with it.
Schwenk Ayse und Fatma zu Birgül
20:27 Musik: Köprüler 3
Birgül:
Birgül was unhappy with the marriage that her mother had arranged for her. She is 19 years old now and already divorced.
Schwenk zurück von Birgül zu Ayse und Fatma
Fatma und Ayse
New contacts are opening Ayse´s world. She helped Birgül to get her divorce.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Schwenk über Sultanas Bücher, Sultana mit Buch lesend, Sultana steht auf vom Sofa, läßt ihr Buch zurück und geht
Autorentext: (wenn Bücher-Reihe zu Ende!)
Sultana - learning for her A-levels. She wants to study - and to lead a self-determined life. In her family daughters ARE allowed to be educated. However, after school her life would have been clearly limited to looking after the family.
21:40 Ende Musik: Köprüler 3
Oton Sultana:
(23’23) "My father wanted me to become an educated woman. But don't get me wrong, he would've still made me marry somebody. As a woman, even if you have learned a profession, you have to give it up when you get married. I think, that's not good, because you learn something and could do that - but then you're not allowed to."
Sultana geht auf der Straße entlang, türkisches Ehepaar dreht sich nach ihr um
(23’56) "I was raised very strictly according to the rules of Islam. But when I came here, I realized, that women live differently here and that they have rights.
(on)
For my parents it´s a shame, that I didn´t stick to their educational rules. When I go my way (take my own decisions) people say, that my mother didn't raise me properly.
I think, that´s horrible, because it's always the mothers´ fault, no matter what you do.
Atmo Oton:
"Hallo - Hallo".
Oton Necla Kelek - Sociologist
(24’47) "Childrens´ education works like that: a child is born into a social group and has a permanent feeling of guilt towards its parents. I mean, parents say:´We gave you life so you owe us your life.´ And that's why they can rule over this life without hesitation."
Oton Sultana:
(25’11) "They have to explain to my relatives, why I'm gone and where I am. And if they find out, that I ran away, it´s a shame for them. Yes, I did disgrace (dishonor, besmirch, sully, stain??) my family and the honour of my family. My father isn't a real man anymore, because he hasn't got his family under control and can not educate his children properly. It's not nice for them."
Sultana kommt aus Unschärfe, nimmt Handy aus der Tasche, das geklingelt hat
Oton Sultana:
(25’57) "My mother told me stories. For example a story about a woman, who ran away with her boyfriend and had children - and when the parents found out, they took the children away from them and killed both."
Sultana kommt in Küche, stellt Teller ab
Oton Sultana:
"Concerning that couple, what really astonished me was, that my mother said: ´Yes, the woman deserved to be killed´. Another time we saw a tv-report about a women´s shelter in Pakistan. There was a mother who entered the shelter and shot her daughter. I was so horrified, when I saw that, but my mum just said: ´She deserved it, the parents didn't do anything wrong.´ That frightened me, really."
Sultana kommt mit einer Tasse Tee und setzt sich an ihren Schreibtisch, und lernt
Oton Sultana:
(26’53) "I would like to explain to them, that I just wanted to live like a human being. And that I have my own will, that I want to live how I want to live and not the way they want me to live. I don't want to be a housewife. Well, o.k. sometime later, not now. Now I want to study. I want to learn a profession, yes, I want to be independent."
25:35 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Sultana lächelnd auf der Straße am Handy, sagt: "
Atmo-Oton
"Thank you I´m fine. And you?"
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Überblendung in Fahrt auf der Landstraße nach Diyabarkir
25:54 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Autorentext: (auf zweitem Fahrtbild einsetzen)
Fatma on a research-trip to Anatolia. It´s been 20 years since she escaped the wedding that was forced onto her. She's writing a new book now: Where do the traditions come from, which made her suffer so much?
Musik von der Hochzeit wird hörbar
Fahrt, Schwenk über das Stadtpanorama von Diyarbarkir auf Hochzeitsszene, Tanzende in einem Innenhof von oben
(27’53) "When we heard the music from the street, I realized that the music was arousing feelings of joy in me and yes, of dancing - and this wedding (and all the people that were coming). It was such a nice feeling. And I realized that I was walking faster to participate (in the wedding)."
Fatma (on)
(28’22) "And when we got there and saw all these people, it was a wonderful - people singing, the music and It was so nice that I was asked to dance with them and to be able to show them that I can still dance."
Fatma tanzend unter den Hochzeitsgästen
"And to be able to speak the Kurdish with them. They were happy to see that even though I was living in Germany for such a long time, I was still able to speak quite well."
Frauen mit Kindern schauen von oben, von einer Mauer zu
Atmosphäre von der Hochzeit, Tänze im Hof
die Musiker
Mann tanzt mit grünem Tuch
Frauen am Rand sitzend, Schwenk zurück auf den Hochzeitsreigen
Frauen die bedrückt schauen
(29’31) "But then my attention turned to the faces of the women.”
Hochzeitsbilder
Fatma unter den Tanzenden
"I smiled, while I was dancing, but I was observing. What are they thinking? Is it a joyfull dance, because two people in love are getting married?"
Die Hochzeitsgesellschaft im Hof, diverse Einstellungen
"And I realized after looking at some women, that this was not a dance of joy - there was much more behind it."
Fatma Oton (on)
(30’06) "And when we went to the room of the bride, I still hoped to see a happy bride who was laughing and saying: `Hey, I'm getting married!´.
das melancholische Gesicht der Braut nah
"But when we got there, I saw the sadness in her face."
applaudierende Gäste, Fatma unter ihnen
Bruder bindet der Braut die Schleife um
"And then to see the brother, how he put the ribbon around her, which didn´t really work, it was quite obvious for me, that he sensed, his sister wasn´t happy."
Hochzeitsgesellschaft johlt, Schwenk von Bruder auf die klatschende Familie
(30’53) "In our culture it's a tradition that the eldest brother or the father decorates the bride with the ribbon as a symbol for her virginity."
Klatschende Frauen und Kinder (nah), verschiedene Nahaufnahmen der Frauen, die dabei sind und alle etwas traurig aussehen:
" The one who places the ribbon declares symbolically: ´I hereby present my sister or daughter (to your son and family) as a vergin.´"
"The entire family, the whole clan, confirms with this red ribbon, that she is pure. This is very very important. The name and the face of the family is at stake."
Fatma in der Hochzeitsgesellschaft klaschend, klatschende und tanzende Frauen, Braut dahinter, die ganz bedrückt und unbeteiligt aussieht
(31’49) "What really saddened me, was to hear again and again: ´Smile, it's your wedding.
Frau tanzt wild im Vordergrund
Show them, how happy you are. You'll be brought away soon.´
And she was always looking and trying to make some kind of
Fatma schaut zu
facial expression, / while her body spoke quite a different language,
Familie setzt sich zum Foto um die Braut, der Bruder neben ihr
" It really hurt me to see that."
(32’40) "And it made me so sad, that I wanted to know, what was going on there."
Nahaufnahme der Braut, die befremdet um sich schaut
Braut wird vom Bräutigam aus dem Haus geführt
Autorentext:
At first the women tried to persuade Fatma that it was love and that the bride wanted to get married. But Fatma insisted. Finally they told her, they were not allowed to talk about it. Her real fiancé had died just a few weeks ago. But the family had kept the wedding promise and decided that another son should marry her in order to save their honour - and hers.
Auto mit den Brautleuten fährt weg, junge Männer
(Oton Fatma (on)
(33’17) "She had to marry a man that she didn't want to marry. Actually she was promised to the brother, but the brother died and therefore she had to marry the other brother.")
Gedränge vor dem Haus, in das die Braut geführt wurde, Leute strömen nach
Bräutigam nah mit versteinertem Gesicht
Brautzimmer: Braut und Bräutigam sitzen befremdet nebeneinander, Braut weint, eine Frau richtet ihren Kopf auf)
"For the parents of the bride it's the best thing to happen. Because otherwise the family of the bride would have problems to marry her to somebody else."
Fatma (off):
"She had to have this wedding only to save the honour of her family. She gives her live, has to stay there forever and wait that love might come."
Nächtliche Hochzeitsfeier
(34’03) "I have spoken to many, many women - and (with shivering bodys and souls) they told me how terrible it was to survive the first night. You're nervous and afraid - and there's that pressure to prove to your mother-in-law that you're still a virgin. This pressure makes the first night very painful, very very painful."
(34’39) "You're torn in all directions and so tense, that you fear not to bleed. And you are afraid: ´What will happen if I don´t? What will they do to me? They´ll either kill me or marry me off to an old man.´ It´s really like that: if they can´t get rid of you by killing you, they marry you to an old man as his second or third wife.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Insert: Diyabarkir / South-East-Anatolia !!!
Friedhof Diyarkir Gräber, Fatma kommt mit Blumen
Autorentext: (wenn Fatma im Bild)
Fatma is visiting the grave of a woman who was stoned to death by her family and neighbors - five months pregnant. Semse Allak´s family had found out that she was already pregnant, when she got married. According to the honour code in traditional patriachal societies worldwide, this is a crime to be paid with death.
Fatma am Grab von Semse
(35’33) "I didn´t take this as an isolated case, because I've dealt with that problem for years. I spoke to families in Germany, Turkey and East-Anatolia. And I heard so often about women who supposedly had committed suicide. But after some research I found out that they had been killed. That they were for example thrown from a balcony by their little brother or somebody else, just to get rid of them."
Autorentext: (AUF BETER /TOTENGEBET)
Semse Allak from South-East-Anatolia is just one of many women all over the globe, who get killed in the name of honour.
Only recently the United Nations started to keep statistics, estimating: worldwide, there are about 5000 honour crimes each year.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fatma in einem Hinterhof, Schwenk auf Frau
Autorentext:
In a back-yard - another forced marriage. This widow was no longer able to feed her children.
O-Ton – Fatma Bläser hört zu und übersetzt dann in die Kamera:
(37’44) “ So, they just married the daughter, without letting her know. Basically they sold her…”
Ein Mädchen wird von einer anderen Frau gebracht, Fatma begrüßt sie herzlich,
Autorentext setzt ein, wenn sie das Mädchen auf die zweite Wange geküßt hat:
Autorentext: (beim Kuss einsetzen):
The daughter of the neighbor, 14 years old. In just a few weeks she will be married too.
Oton Fatma:
"And then she said, I am not the only one, who marries her daughter early. It´s the custom over here."
Autorentext:
The mother insists, that she didn´t force her daughter, that the girl wanted it too.
Schwenk zu Mann mit Messer, der Mädchen das Messer an den Hals setzt
die Frau im Gespräch mit Fatma, Mädchen blickt sehr unsicher
Autorentext:
Fatma tries to find a way out for the girl. In vain. Because, when she marries, her family won´t have to feed her any longer. And they get money for her.
36:55 Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
Baumwollfeld:
Junges Mädchen auf Feld (einsetzen, wenn sie im Bild auftaucht)
Money for brides and marriages among cousins – these rural traditions make sure that the fields don´t have to be divided, that the money stays in the family. 90 percent of Turkish emigrants in Germany come from this background. Many of them stick to the traditions - while their relatives at home dream of a better life abroad.
37:26 Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
Oton Kelek (off, on, off)
(38’58) "Most parents believe, that marrying their children in Germany, is a good thing to do.They say, it’s better than living in an east-anatolian village and it´s beneficial for the entire family to have a relative abroad. And later, when they realize what their child has gone through and how much it has suffered after getting married – they say: ´It´s too late, it’s destiny.´ There is no bad conscience.”
Mann dreht sich ab, HImmel / Schnitt auf Gemälde, wenn Frau vorbeigeht
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Musik: Köprüler ??
Autorentext:
A women´s shelter in Germany. Saniye is 35 years old and has two children. Like thousands of Turkish women each year, she was married to a Turkish man in Germany, who she had never seen before.
Aysche setzt sich, Dolmetscherin, die ihr zuhört
12 years of marital suffering before she finally got a divorce. She doesn´t want to be recognized.
Ende Musik: Köprüler ??
It all began, when her father died. The family became poor. Marrying a son of distant relatives in Germany looked like it would solve problems.
O-Ton Saniye (on)
(40’04) "I didn’t want to marry, but my father died. We felt very close in our family so I would never have chosen to go abroad.”
Subjektive: Deutsche Fußgängerzone im Regen
O-Ton Saniye:
(40’17) “You feel helpless like a child. At home, I could talk to anybody, move freely, and dress how I wanted. It was a completely different life. I never thought that they would forbid me to do all these things.”
Subjektive: Gang über nasses Pflaster:
Autorentext:
Memories of the first welcome by her in-laws, with whom she was going to share the flat:
O-Ton Saniye:
(40’47) "None of my expectations were fullfilled. Everything developed negatively. When I entered the flat of my in-laws I was shocked – the furnishings, these people, the way they spoke and acted.”
Dolmetscherin und Aysche zusammensitzend
Autorentext:
Saniye is treated like a servant and has to obey. Nobody notices her distress:
O-Ton Saniye (off):
(41’13) "I was beaten up a lot by his mother and father and was confronted with many problems. My husband was a very discontent person, just like the rest of the family."
Subj. Bilder von deutschem Alltag
Autorentext:
Saniye wants to get in contact with German locals, she wants to learn and to work. But her bounderies are increasingly tightened.
O-Ton Saniye
(41’43) "I went to a language course (and it went pretty well. I ) started to speak some German (in the supermarket or at the doctor´s) and did so front of my husband. So he saw his own mistakes, while I was able to communicate. That frightened him, so he forced me to end the course. He feared, if I educated myself and worked, I might leave him one day. It took two months until he had forbidden everything to me and that´s when he started beating me.”
O-Ton Kelek:
(42’19) "These imported brides who are sent to Germany – in my eyes that´s a violation of human rights.”
Zwischenschnitt. Putzfrau
O-Ton Kelek (off):
“Marriages are arranged by both parents and beginning with the wedding the power over the bride goes over to her in-laws. And if she objects, if they think that the girl doesn’t meet their expectations, they’re allowed to beat her and to form her the way they want her to be.”
Kreuzberg-Bild: Slow-Motion
O-Ton Kelek ON:
(42’53) "She’s ruled by the entire family (not only by her parents-in-law, but also by oncles, aunts and cousins). As soon as she enters the clan, they are allowed to rule (over?) her.”
O-Ton Saniye:
(43’09) "The people around me constantly requested something from me and I tried to fullfill that. For example when I had a headache, I couldn’t simply lie down or I couldn’t just play with my child. They expected me to cook and to completely take care of them. I had no right to rest. My job was to serve them. There was no love, no affection. And I had to ask, when I wanted to go out.“
O-Ton Kelek (on):
(43’39) "The mothers-in-law are so harsh with the imported brides, because they went through the same thing – their marriage was also arranged. They can’t imagine a romantic love, because they’ve never experienced one. That’s the tragedy of these women, who in buying that girl finally gain authority."
Türkische Familie betritt einen Brautladen
Oton Kelek (on / off auf alte türkische Frauen Brautkleid aussuchend)
"For the first time in life she is allowed to rule over somebody, whereas before everybody ruled over her.
She would do anything, to prevent her son from falling in love. Love is individualism. Because if he´d love a girl, she would loose him. That’s why he gets married to a girl he doesn´t know and probably won´t be able to love. Nobody expects him to love his wife.”
O-Ton Saniye:
(44’35) “I have become a depressed person. (When I think about it, my hands and legs start trembling.) I’ve changed so much, I rarely speak. They’ve killed the joy in me. Now that I can go to clubs and to the movie theatre – I do not go, because I can’t, I haven’t got the power and joy anymore. Now that I’m free, I do not have the joy to do these things.”
Saniye steht auf, verläßt den Raum, Treppen-Abgang, Text erst im Treppenhaus
anfangen
43:41 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Autorentext: (nachdem die Musik eingesetzt hat)
Saniye’s mother repeatedly told her that she must not divorce her husband. This would stain the family honour.
Übergang in Fahrt durch anatolische Landschaft, vom Land in die Stadt
Autorentext:
But Saniye did. She cannot be sent back to Turkey, because she has lived long enough in Germany. But women who get divorced within the first two years of their marriage can be sent back.
Fahrt in der Stadt / Taxi
Autorentext: (wenn die Stadtbilder da sind)
On her research trip to Anatolia, Fatma hears more such stories.
Fatma B. sitzt und wartet, begrüßt eine westlich gekleidete Frau, sie unterhalten sich
Autorentext: (wenn Fatma im Bild ist)
For example at Kamer, the first shelter for women in Southeast Anatolia.
44:20 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Eine westlich gekleidete Frau kommt rein, Fatma steht auf und begrüßt sie
Autorentext: (wenn Akkoc reinkommt)
Nebahat Akkoc - the founder. Since 1997 she and her staff have helped women in situations of crisis.
Kamer-Emblem / Unterhaltung Akkoc mit Fatma:
Autorentext: (wenn Fatma mit Akkoc im Bild ist)
Kamer sees about 100 women each year who’ve been married to somebody abroad.
Beratungssituation. Aufzieher von Kopftuch auf Mitarbeiterin:
They tell the staff about the violence they experienced before they escaped. But their families won´t take them back. The honour code won´t let them.
Kamerteam am Küchentisch:
Autorentext: (einsetzen, sobald Bild da ist)
Teammeeting. Akkoc and her staff have flats for women in distress. And they inform them about their rights.
Stadtbild: Frau und Mann auf Markt
A new law in Turkey gives equal rights to men and women. And honour killings are no longer treated as a minor offence.
Markt, diverse Einstellungen
In 2003 Kamer dealt with 23 women threatened with death in the name of honour. Two of them were actually killed.
Kamer also interviewed over 5000 women, most of them illiterate. Very often they were told that they had to marry the man that the family chose in order to be a good muslim.
Unterhaltung Akkoc / Fatma:
A frequent misunderstanding. The Koran says that a marriage needs the consent of both partners.
Oton Nebahat Akkoc:
(47’09) “These problems of women have nothing to do with the Koran, it’s a global problem. Everywhere in the world men are trying to manifest their dominance. Some are trying it with the Koran and some in another way. It has nothing to do with faith …”
45:51 Musik: Köprüler 2
Fahrt aufs Land
Oton Nebahat Akkoc:
“Not only the Turkish people live like that. I’ve been to India – the Hindus live the same way.”
mehrere Dorfbilder
Brotbacken Frau mit Kind am Ofen
Autorentext (Dorfbilder)
In fact in many rural countries with traditional patriarchal hierarchies women are men´s property and have no right to decide about their sexuality.
46:23 Ende Musik: Köprüler 2
Autorentext (Frau beim Brotbacken)
These societies believe, that a man´s honour is defined by the chastity of his sister, wife and daughter and that this is more important than their lifes.
A man can lose his honour, because of women´s sexual behaviour, but not because of his own.
And, what exactly stains the honour, depends on the individual family.
Frau klopft ihre Hände vom Mehl ab.
ON-O-Ton Nebahat Akkoc (türkisch) :
" If a woman is not allowed to wear make up, because her family said so – that’s a norm. And if she doesn’t stick to that norm, it means that she has already disgraced the honour – and she’ll be punished. For example, a family where the daughter goes to University, gets her degree and goes to work – if her family wants her to marry, she has to follow, otherwise she’s disgracing the honour. So, what does honour really mean? Honour is a subjective norm set by the family.”
47:19 Musik: Köprüler 1
Blendfahrt nach Istanbul vom Land in die Stadt
Insert: Istanbul
Fatmas Mutter kommt auf Betrachter zu
Atmo-Otöne Fatma & Mutter
“ Hello mum, - Salemaleikum – what are you doing?“
Fatma steigt aus dem Taxi. Mutter und Tochter gehen ins Haus
47:38 Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
Autorentext: (einsetzen, wenn sie aus dem Taxi gestiegen ist)
20 years have passed since Fatma was forced to get engaged to a man that she would have never chosen herself. Her escape caused a deep break in the family. In her father´s eyes she had disgraced the family honour.
Vater steht in der Türe/Fatma mit Vater im Wohnzimmer telefonierend:
For more than 10 years he claimed she was dead. Then an uncle from Turkey acted as a mediator. He had found out that his niece had married a wealthy German.
Mutter auf dem Dach beim Wäsche-Aufhängen:
Fatma´s mother was unable to help her daughter against her husband´s will. Wives must obey. She objected the way she could, secretely keeping in contact with her daughter.
If the family had found out, she would have been beaten.
Mutter sagt: "Wish, wish, wish" und geht zum Rand des Daches
Atmo_Oton Mutter: (nicht übersetzen)
"Wish, wish wish."
Autorentext (wenn Mutter steht):
Today Fatma is able to see the social pressure that pushed her parents to act in the way they did.
O-Ton – ON – Fatma
(49’16) “The reason for my forced marriage was that my parents were afraid that I would live a self-determined and free life in Germany. And my age was a problem too – in Turkish eyes I was already quite old. At 19 or 20 you have to be married …”
Vater kommt unsicher rein
O-Ton Fatma zuerst im OFF
“And for my father it was most important that I // should never disgrace the honour. So he tried to do something about it to prevent that.”
Fatma mit Vater im Wohnzimmer/Bilder der Distanz, der Unsicherheit, darüber
OFF-O-Töne von Fatma:
(49’54) "If the fathers wouldn’t stick so strictly to the old Turkish traditions, they would get much more love from their children. I think, he realized that he did wrong many times, but he seems to be afraid to talk about it and to be confronted again with the whole story.”
Oton Fatma (on):
(50’23) “I would say that the men I know are prisoners of our traditional roles – they have to live after these rules and make their wifes and daughters follow.”
Süßigkeiten auf dem Tisch, Aufzoom auf Mutter beim Abwaschen, Vater geht durch, Mutter an der Spüle nah
Autorentext: wenn von Süßigkeiten bei Mutter angekommen:
Fatma’s mother lives in a marriage, that neither she nor her family had wanted. But her husband wanted her, because she came from a wealthy family.
And he knew, tradition was on his side:
If a woman get´s raped, it´s she, who disgraces the family honour. Only her death can wash this off - or the rapist marries her:
OFF-Ton-Fatma (während Mutter weiter im Bild ist) :
(51’07)“My father and his friends kidnapped my mother.”
ON_O-Ton Mutter:
(51’13) “Six, seven men tied my arms, tied my legs, took me away.”
ON-O-Ton Fatma; mit den Mutter-Bildern:
(51’24) “Then he raped her, so she had no chance to go back.“
ON-O-Ton Mutter:
(51’32) “Comes towards me. I say: I kill you. But he didn´t let me go, didn´t let me go."
OFF-O-Ton Fatma /oder ON, dann besser zu schneiden:
(51’38) //“ (…)as soon as she is besmirched / sullied, she can´t go back home. A woman who is besmirched / sullied? and goes back, she can forget about her a life.”
ON-Ton-Fatmas Mutter:
(52’03) “Then they hit my hand, knife gone. Then come, tie my hands, take me and my husband sleep with me."
OFF-O-Ton Fatma:
(52’17) “These women only think about suicide, because they just live in hell."
O-Ton Fatmas Mutter (Abschlussbild Gebäck)
(52’28) “Oh my life … first day everything, my life destroyed. Yes, life dead. Now sit - eat, sit - eat. Yeah, my life."
O-Ton Fatma (off) auf Busfahrt mit Mutter
(52’50) “That didn’t only happen to my mother, it happened to many, many women – and it still happens today. Even in Germany, women get kidnapped …// They get raped. And after they’ve been besmirched / sullied ? the honour is disgraced. So they have to marry and to live with that man.” (53’10)
53: Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
53: Ende Musik: Köprüler 1
Länge: 52:45 vor Vorspann
Vorspann Ende 53:17
"Eat Sugar and Speak Sweetly"
A film by
Renate Bernhard and Sigrid Dethloff
Camera:
Boris Nachtigal
Sigrid Dethloff
Knut Reinhardt
Frank Lange
Renate Bernhard
Ali Hedjrat
Journalistic Assistence:
Astrid Houben
Andrea Biesler
Post Production:
Knut Reinhardt
Post Production Sound:
Rainer Janster
Music:
Köprüler: Enstrümantal
Ada Müzik Copyright Ada 2002, www.adamusic.net
Bar-Code: B 692646 501526
1. Erkan Ogür: Vardim baktim demir kapi sürgülü
2. Mazeum Cimen: Kalanlarin Ardindan
3. Ahu Saglam: Gülumcan
Speaker:
Wilhelmina Lyffyt
Interpreting and translation Turkish:
Fatma B.
Petra Wurzel
Translation and Subtitles English:
Renate Bernhard
We thank Fatma B., Sultana, Saniye, Ayse and Birgül. Without their courage this film would not have been possible. For security reasons, we had to keep their identities covered and gave them other names.
CouRage-Film 2005