SETUP
Introduction:
It is July of last year and we have been invited to have a special conversation in Rotterdam.
The interview that we had with Obbe Terpstra can only now be released to the public. That was the condition of our meeting. Mr. Terpstra, then 86, had a wish that he wanted to share with us. A wish, that according to him, many elderly people have, but is still taboo in our society. The wish to die.
Suicide
Subtitle text
Chapter 1
Obbe
01.58 I want to die and I cant die
Who says I cant, why do they say that?
Voice over
02.04 July of last year. Obbe Terpstra, 86 years old, is determined. His wife died of cancer; it was a long and painful death.
Mr. Terpstra is loosing his site. He fears an pointless road of suffering.
After making his decision to end his own life, Mr. Terpstra now feels relief.
Obbe
02.23 I have thought enough about it. Years, when I saw my wife and others suffering I thought why must that happen? Why must there be so much suffering?
Voice over
02.37 Mr. Terpstra has always had control over how he wanted to live his life. This decision is no different, says his son Albert.
Albert
02.47 It comes from many things.
He lost his wife my mother.
It was an awful thing to happen and then his physical deterioration namely his blindness.
Where he asks: What am I living for? What is waiting for me in the future?
Please spare me.
Voice over
02.25 It has now been a year and he still remembers the awful shock, when he realized he could no longer see the letters of the building across the street. He can no longer watch television. He has not been able to persuit his hobbies of sailing and repairing watches and clocks for a long ttime now. He knows that he will become completely blind. He does not want to wait for that.
03.51 We speak to both, father and son. The father Obbe in Rotterdam and his son Albert in Etten-Leur. The son seems traumented by the situation, where his father seems relieved, almost content.
Interviewer
04.06 Can you imagine that for me, as an outsider, I see a man with a lot of energy and strength and self confidence?
Obbe
04.15 I went to my GP and told him and he said, You? You are so fit and full of life. Then I told him what I was planning to do and nothing came of it.
But I have found the way to do it and it is going to happen.
Voice over
04.30 Helping someone commit suicide is a criminal offence in The Netherlands. To protect his GP (general physician) from any complications with the law, Terpstra has decided not to concern him any more with the matter. Shrouded in extreme discretion, Mr. Terpstra has taken active measures to end his life. Only his son Albert knows about this. Now he is sharing this with us. He says he wants to share his story with others.
Obbe
04.54 want to die. I am not allowed to but I want to.
Interviewer
05.01 You said you are happy that we are here?
Obbe
05.02 Then I can lift the burden from my heart and others can hear my story.
Interviewer
05.06 Have you spoken to many others of this?
Obbe
No
Interviewer
05.11 It is clear that you do not speak with others about this. Do you feel lonely?
Albert
05.16 Yes, at this moment I feel alone, taxed and burdened with the matter. Burdened with not only the knowledge but also the preparations, the support and the anticipation of what will happen.
Interviewer
05.38 nd the only person you can share this with is also the topic of discussion and who will shortly no longer be here?
Albert
05.45 Yes
Obbe
05.56 I do not want to suffer. I do not want to hear: He was always such a strong man and now look at him!. I dont want that.
Interviewer
06.05 He wants a security of knowing that before that happens he makes the decision of what will happen.
Obbe
06.09 Yes
Interviewer
06.10 You have said that it took some time before you could accept this. Why was that?
Chapter 2
Albert
06.18 My own wife died three weeks after her 43rd birthday. I experienced that first hand. She left two small children behind. I saw how hard she fought to live.
Interviewer
06.40 You could have said your father fights against life?
Albert
06.45 That is also something I had to accept, but now I understand and I support him in his decision.
Pictures
Voice over
06.49 He wants to go back once more to his much loved island, Ameland. He can only do this with the help of his son Albert and asks him for understanding.
Although this is very difficult for Albert, he accepts his fathers wishes. He says he can because he loves him
Interviewer
07.06 How much love do you have for your father?
Albert
07.10 So much that if he fears.... and his fears of deterioration are realistic and you want to prevent that from happening to him, then because of my love, I want to do that for him so I accept it.
Obbe
07.23 Of course it is odd that one talks about death, but I think it is healthier than to wait and wait until one dies of unhappiness.
Interviewer
07.36 You are his son. I can imagine that you feel guilty about the lack of time that you can make for him or is that not so?
Albert
07.46 That is certainly so. I am busy with work for more than 8 hours a day. I also have my own home and children to take care of and as his ability to care for his own home has deteriorated I take care of his home too.
Interviewer
08.17 Have you thought that something could happen in the future that would change your mind?
Obbe
08.23 I wouldnt know what that would be. It would have to be something where I suddenly could see.
Interviewer
08.29 Is there nothing that can be done to correct your eyesight?
Obbe
08.32 Yes of course. I was in the hospital here and was sent to one in The Hague, but they said there was nothing that could be done. Very slowly it will become worse.
Interviewer
08.46 There is a picture of two children. Are they your grandchildren?
Obbe
08.50 Yes
Interviewer
08.80 Have you thought of what this would be for them?
Obbe
09.03 Yes, but I am an old man.
Interviewer
09.06 I was crazy for my grandpa when I was young, dont you care what they think?
Obbe
09.10 Ya?
Interviewer
09.11 Do they come around to visit?
Obbe
09.14 Oh yes, quite often.
Chapter 3
Interviewer
09.18 Have you told your children about this?
Albert
09.21 They know absolutely nothing about this. I believe they are to young for that. I also think that at this phase it is not wise to tell them especially considering their own experience with their own mother.
Interviewer
09.38 And when your father is no longer here?
Albert
09.42 Then I will tell them.
Interviewer
09.46 Are you afraid that they will blame yóu, or your father?
Albert
09.54 I will have to wait for that reaction. I dont think so.
Interviewer
09.59 Does it bother you that you will do something on your own whereby they will no longer have a grandpa?
Obbe
10.05 No
Interviewer
10.06 Are you not very hard?
Obbe
10.08 No, but I see the reality.
Albert
10.13 It is better now than...to put it in his words to see him as a drooling old man. He does not want that. He wants them to remember their grandpa as he was.
Interviewer
10.28 What could I do to prevent this from happening?
Obbe
10.31 Nothing, that wouldnt work. It is solid in my thoughts.
Interviewer
10.40 Do you have the desire to talk him out of it?
Albert
10.43 No, absolutely not.
10.52 I think that would push him away. At any rate I do not want to receive a telephone call saying: We have found your father.
Obbe
11.02 I am not nervous or emotional, its just over. I have seen too much suffering to change my mind.
Voice over
11.10 The most humane way of euthanasia is by using a so-called barbiturate. In every pharmacy these drugs are securely locked away. In low dosages these drugs work like sleeping pills, but in high dosages they work as a deadly poison. Only doctors can legally obtain such drugs.
In these high dosages the patient falls asleep and then dies a quick and painless death. The nightmare of every GP is to receive such a request from his patient. The doctor is often the only hope for the patient but if he administers a drug to someone who commits suicide, he is also committing a criminal offence and can go to jail for up to three years. There are special interest groups which try to mediate but they are not always successful. Because it is a taboo in society, many elderly feel alone with their wishes. Some hang themselves, while others jump from high buildings most however do not dare, they simply wait for their lot to come.
Chapter 4
Interviewer
12.07 Why do you think it is important that this is shown on TV?
Albert
12.19 To show that people have their own self-determination.
Interviewer
12.25 What is the function of showing this on TV?
Obbe
12.30 That more people will see and say: hay look at that man, he talks about it and is not afraid of death and he accepts that.
Interviewer
12.49 If you could say what you enjoyed the most at this moment, what would that be?
Obbe
12.58 I like to listen to music now and then. Yes, now and then music.
I can not see how everything grows and blooms, because I have to get down on my knees above a flower to look at it.
Interviewer
13.12 As an outsider I think, cant you do fun things together with him. Is that a naïve thought?
Albert
13.20 No, that is not a naïve thought but when you think what is fun for him? or how can I include him in activities? they are all creative things. Those things have become impossible for him to do in the way in which he want to do them, so he asks what can I do?
That is to sit and maybe listen to music and after he has had a nice day he asks: But what about tomorrow?.
Obbe
14.03 I couldnt jump in front of a train so I had to think of something else..... and I have found it.
Voice over
14.11 Terpstra will not tell us how he will end his life. This process is always conducted within closed circles. There are suitable drugs available but those who disperse such drugs are punishable by law. This is why we seldom hear about it.
Interviewer
14.33 Can you imagine my thoughts? You have nice things around you, it is a beautiful day outside.
Obbe
14.39 Yes of course and I am a nature loving person.
Interviewer
14.44 Would you like it if someone came a few times a week and took you to a nice park to enjoy nature?
Obbe
14.50 I would say no because I would feel an obligation to someone else and I am much to independent for that.
Interviewer
14.56 They would not have to holding your hand but would walk beside you.
Obbe
15.0 Yes, but I dont want that, no.
Interviewer
15.04 But wouldnt that be something that would make you want to live?
Obbe
15.06 No, I have done a lot, I have seen a lot and have enjoyed my life. What could change for me? I am becoming more blind and walking is also becoming more difficult.
15.31 It is not a sad story. My decision is something that grounds me and gives me surety.
Interviewer
15.45 Was your decision something that gave you peace?
Obbe
15.47 Wes, very much.
Interviewer
15.50 Do you expect to receive a phone call asking you to come over, I am ready to do it? Do you know how that will happen?
Albert
15.59 I expect I could receive a call asking me to come over tomorrow so we can talk quietly.
Interviewer
16.07 You know...
Albert
16.08 Then I know enough
Interviewer
16.10 What would you say if I said, Mr. Terpstra I have been here a few times before and it was nice speaking with you. I think you are a very sympathetic man and I said please dont do this. How would you react?
Obbe
16.24 Than I would say I understand what you are feeling, but my feelings are so strong and so anchored there is nothing you could say.
Interviewer
16.35 But surely everyone has the right to live?
Obbe
16.38 Yes of course. I dont want to take a life from another. They are free to live.
Interviewer
16.49 But if I said that I enjoy coming here and I would miss being able to do that?
Obbe
16.56 Then I would say that you have got to get over it. My mind will not change and
I did it a bit consciously to get through the winter so I could see everything grow again and now nature is at its most beuatiful. Now it is time to get off the mountain. It is time. It is time.
17.34 It is such a load off my shoulders. It is good. I am truly happy.
Voice over
17.43 On the 25th of August Obbe Terpstra took the barbiturate. He never said how he obtained the drugs. He died almost instantly.
18.09 A month later we are with Albert in his late fathers empty house.
Albert
18.19 When the day arrived he was extremely happy, he even looked happy. The atmosphere was like a birthday party. I was here about 10 oclock and he asked if I wanted a glass of wine.
Voice over
18.43 On that day Albert is comforted by a friend.
Albert
18.49 It was really very animated and relaxed until he said: boys, bring your glasses, we are going upstairs.
Chapter 5
Albert
19.06 He was always a charming host and he was so again. We stood talking and he took some kind of glass, sat down on the bed, and said: Boys, thank you for everything, now I am going to have a nice sleep. Then he said something else that I couldnt hear and he slid away. The moment that I will never forget is that in a fraction of a second you see a life slid away.
19.57 This is the glass he drank out of.
Interviewer
20.03 Did not take the police take the glass away?
Albert
20.05 No
Interviewer
20.06 And the bottle?
Albert
20.08 Yes, they took that.
20.14 After his death we remained in his room and said goodbye. Quietly.
20.26 Afterwards we had the obligation to call the doctor and tell him. He came right over and saw the bottle. He could do nothing but declare that it was an unnatural death.
With my approval. He did his duty and reported it to the police who came almost directly with a team to investigate the unnatural death.
Interviewer
21.17 How long was it between the time your father died and the doctor came?
Albert
21.23 I took a half hour for that.
Interviewer
21.26 During that half hour what was it like upstairs?
Albert
21.29 Almost surrealistic. We sat there more or less numb and thought: this is it then.
Voice over
21.43 The police investigate the bedroom and the rest of the house. They listen to Albert Terpstra and his friend. Their findings go directly to the Public Prosecution office.
Albert
22.0 At the end of the afternoon the investigating officer said: okay then, we will release the body and you can make arrangements for cremation. Go ahead.
22.18 My children also lost their grandfather in the way that he wanted to present it to them.
Interviewer
22.26 How did you explain it to them? What did you tell them?
Albert
22.34 I had to say that Grampa really felt that he had to do this and gave it a lot of thought before making his decision.
22.50 I told the oldest that if life was an alphabet, then Grampa did not want to live through to the z.
Introduction:
It is July of last year and we have been invited to have a special conversation in Rotterdam.
The interview that we had with Obbe Terpstra can only now be released to the public. That was the condition of our meeting. Mr. Terpstra, then 86, had a wish that he wanted to share with us. A wish, that according to him, many elderly people have, but is still taboo in our society. The wish to die.
Suicide
Subtitle text
Chapter 1
Obbe
01.58 I want to die and I cant die
Who says I cant, why do they say that?
Voice over
02.04 July of last year. Obbe Terpstra, 86 years old, is determined. His wife died of cancer; it was a long and painful death.
Mr. Terpstra is loosing his site. He fears an pointless road of suffering.
After making his decision to end his own life, Mr. Terpstra now feels relief.
Obbe
02.23 I have thought enough about it. Years, when I saw my wife and others suffering I thought why must that happen? Why must there be so much suffering?
Voice over
02.37 Mr. Terpstra has always had control over how he wanted to live his life. This decision is no different, says his son Albert.
Albert
02.47 It comes from many things.
He lost his wife my mother.
It was an awful thing to happen and then his physical deterioration namely his blindness.
Where he asks: What am I living for? What is waiting for me in the future?
Please spare me.
Voice over
02.25 It has now been a year and he still remembers the awful shock, when he realized he could no longer see the letters of the building across the street. He can no longer watch television. He has not been able to persuit his hobbies of sailing and repairing watches and clocks for a long ttime now. He knows that he will become completely blind. He does not want to wait for that.
03.51 We speak to both, father and son. The father Obbe in Rotterdam and his son Albert in Etten-Leur. The son seems traumented by the situation, where his father seems relieved, almost content.
Interviewer
04.06 Can you imagine that for me, as an outsider, I see a man with a lot of energy and strength and self confidence?
Obbe
04.15 I went to my GP and told him and he said, You? You are so fit and full of life. Then I told him what I was planning to do and nothing came of it.
But I have found the way to do it and it is going to happen.
Voice over
04.30 Helping someone commit suicide is a criminal offence in The Netherlands. To protect his GP (general physician) from any complications with the law, Terpstra has decided not to concern him any more with the matter. Shrouded in extreme discretion, Mr. Terpstra has taken active measures to end his life. Only his son Albert knows about this. Now he is sharing this with us. He says he wants to share his story with others.
Obbe
04.54 want to die. I am not allowed to but I want to.
Interviewer
05.01 You said you are happy that we are here?
Obbe
05.02 Then I can lift the burden from my heart and others can hear my story.
Interviewer
05.06 Have you spoken to many others of this?
Obbe
No
Interviewer
05.11 It is clear that you do not speak with others about this. Do you feel lonely?
Albert
05.16 Yes, at this moment I feel alone, taxed and burdened with the matter. Burdened with not only the knowledge but also the preparations, the support and the anticipation of what will happen.
Interviewer
05.38 nd the only person you can share this with is also the topic of discussion and who will shortly no longer be here?
Albert
05.45 Yes
Obbe
05.56 I do not want to suffer. I do not want to hear: He was always such a strong man and now look at him!. I dont want that.
Interviewer
06.05 He wants a security of knowing that before that happens he makes the decision of what will happen.
Obbe
06.09 Yes
Interviewer
06.10 You have said that it took some time before you could accept this. Why was that?
Chapter 2
Albert
06.18 My own wife died three weeks after her 43rd birthday. I experienced that first hand. She left two small children behind. I saw how hard she fought to live.
Interviewer
06.40 You could have said your father fights against life?
Albert
06.45 That is also something I had to accept, but now I understand and I support him in his decision.
Pictures
Voice over
06.49 He wants to go back once more to his much loved island, Ameland. He can only do this with the help of his son Albert and asks him for understanding.
Although this is very difficult for Albert, he accepts his fathers wishes. He says he can because he loves him
Interviewer
07.06 How much love do you have for your father?
Albert
07.10 So much that if he fears.... and his fears of deterioration are realistic and you want to prevent that from happening to him, then because of my love, I want to do that for him so I accept it.
Obbe
07.23 Of course it is odd that one talks about death, but I think it is healthier than to wait and wait until one dies of unhappiness.
Interviewer
07.36 You are his son. I can imagine that you feel guilty about the lack of time that you can make for him or is that not so?
Albert
07.46 That is certainly so. I am busy with work for more than 8 hours a day. I also have my own home and children to take care of and as his ability to care for his own home has deteriorated I take care of his home too.
Interviewer
08.17 Have you thought that something could happen in the future that would change your mind?
Obbe
08.23 I wouldnt know what that would be. It would have to be something where I suddenly could see.
Interviewer
08.29 Is there nothing that can be done to correct your eyesight?
Obbe
08.32 Yes of course. I was in the hospital here and was sent to one in The Hague, but they said there was nothing that could be done. Very slowly it will become worse.
Interviewer
08.46 There is a picture of two children. Are they your grandchildren?
Obbe
08.50 Yes
Interviewer
08.80 Have you thought of what this would be for them?
Obbe
09.03 Yes, but I am an old man.
Interviewer
09.06 I was crazy for my grandpa when I was young, dont you care what they think?
Obbe
09.10 Ya?
Interviewer
09.11 Do they come around to visit?
Obbe
09.14 Oh yes, quite often.
Chapter 3
Interviewer
09.18 Have you told your children about this?
Albert
09.21 They know absolutely nothing about this. I believe they are to young for that. I also think that at this phase it is not wise to tell them especially considering their own experience with their own mother.
Interviewer
09.38 And when your father is no longer here?
Albert
09.42 Then I will tell them.
Interviewer
09.46 Are you afraid that they will blame yóu, or your father?
Albert
09.54 I will have to wait for that reaction. I dont think so.
Interviewer
09.59 Does it bother you that you will do something on your own whereby they will no longer have a grandpa?
Obbe
10.05 No
Interviewer
10.06 Are you not very hard?
Obbe
10.08 No, but I see the reality.
Albert
10.13 It is better now than...to put it in his words to see him as a drooling old man. He does not want that. He wants them to remember their grandpa as he was.
Interviewer
10.28 What could I do to prevent this from happening?
Obbe
10.31 Nothing, that wouldnt work. It is solid in my thoughts.
Interviewer
10.40 Do you have the desire to talk him out of it?
Albert
10.43 No, absolutely not.
10.52 I think that would push him away. At any rate I do not want to receive a telephone call saying: We have found your father.
Obbe
11.02 I am not nervous or emotional, its just over. I have seen too much suffering to change my mind.
Voice over
11.10 The most humane way of euthanasia is by using a so-called barbiturate. In every pharmacy these drugs are securely locked away. In low dosages these drugs work like sleeping pills, but in high dosages they work as a deadly poison. Only doctors can legally obtain such drugs.
In these high dosages the patient falls asleep and then dies a quick and painless death. The nightmare of every GP is to receive such a request from his patient. The doctor is often the only hope for the patient but if he administers a drug to someone who commits suicide, he is also committing a criminal offence and can go to jail for up to three years. There are special interest groups which try to mediate but they are not always successful. Because it is a taboo in society, many elderly feel alone with their wishes. Some hang themselves, while others jump from high buildings most however do not dare, they simply wait for their lot to come.
Chapter 4
Interviewer
12.07 Why do you think it is important that this is shown on TV?
Albert
12.19 To show that people have their own self-determination.
Interviewer
12.25 What is the function of showing this on TV?
Obbe
12.30 That more people will see and say: hay look at that man, he talks about it and is not afraid of death and he accepts that.
Interviewer
12.49 If you could say what you enjoyed the most at this moment, what would that be?
Obbe
12.58 I like to listen to music now and then. Yes, now and then music.
I can not see how everything grows and blooms, because I have to get down on my knees above a flower to look at it.
Interviewer
13.12 As an outsider I think, cant you do fun things together with him. Is that a naïve thought?
Albert
13.20 No, that is not a naïve thought but when you think what is fun for him? or how can I include him in activities? they are all creative things. Those things have become impossible for him to do in the way in which he want to do them, so he asks what can I do?
That is to sit and maybe listen to music and after he has had a nice day he asks: But what about tomorrow?.
Obbe
14.03 I couldnt jump in front of a train so I had to think of something else..... and I have found it.
Voice over
14.11 Terpstra will not tell us how he will end his life. This process is always conducted within closed circles. There are suitable drugs available but those who disperse such drugs are punishable by law. This is why we seldom hear about it.
Interviewer
14.33 Can you imagine my thoughts? You have nice things around you, it is a beautiful day outside.
Obbe
14.39 Yes of course and I am a nature loving person.
Interviewer
14.44 Would you like it if someone came a few times a week and took you to a nice park to enjoy nature?
Obbe
14.50 I would say no because I would feel an obligation to someone else and I am much to independent for that.
Interviewer
14.56 They would not have to holding your hand but would walk beside you.
Obbe
15.0 Yes, but I dont want that, no.
Interviewer
15.04 But wouldnt that be something that would make you want to live?
Obbe
15.06 No, I have done a lot, I have seen a lot and have enjoyed my life. What could change for me? I am becoming more blind and walking is also becoming more difficult.
15.31 It is not a sad story. My decision is something that grounds me and gives me surety.
Interviewer
15.45 Was your decision something that gave you peace?
Obbe
15.47 Wes, very much.
Interviewer
15.50 Do you expect to receive a phone call asking you to come over, I am ready to do it? Do you know how that will happen?
Albert
15.59 I expect I could receive a call asking me to come over tomorrow so we can talk quietly.
Interviewer
16.07 You know...
Albert
16.08 Then I know enough
Interviewer
16.10 What would you say if I said, Mr. Terpstra I have been here a few times before and it was nice speaking with you. I think you are a very sympathetic man and I said please dont do this. How would you react?
Obbe
16.24 Than I would say I understand what you are feeling, but my feelings are so strong and so anchored there is nothing you could say.
Interviewer
16.35 But surely everyone has the right to live?
Obbe
16.38 Yes of course. I dont want to take a life from another. They are free to live.
Interviewer
16.49 But if I said that I enjoy coming here and I would miss being able to do that?
Obbe
16.56 Then I would say that you have got to get over it. My mind will not change and
I did it a bit consciously to get through the winter so I could see everything grow again and now nature is at its most beuatiful. Now it is time to get off the mountain. It is time. It is time.
17.34 It is such a load off my shoulders. It is good. I am truly happy.
Voice over
17.43 On the 25th of August Obbe Terpstra took the barbiturate. He never said how he obtained the drugs. He died almost instantly.
18.09 A month later we are with Albert in his late fathers empty house.
Albert
18.19 When the day arrived he was extremely happy, he even looked happy. The atmosphere was like a birthday party. I was here about 10 oclock and he asked if I wanted a glass of wine.
Voice over
18.43 On that day Albert is comforted by a friend.
Albert
18.49 It was really very animated and relaxed until he said: boys, bring your glasses, we are going upstairs.
Chapter 5
Albert
19.06 He was always a charming host and he was so again. We stood talking and he took some kind of glass, sat down on the bed, and said: Boys, thank you for everything, now I am going to have a nice sleep. Then he said something else that I couldnt hear and he slid away. The moment that I will never forget is that in a fraction of a second you see a life slid away.
19.57 This is the glass he drank out of.
Interviewer
20.03 Did not take the police take the glass away?
Albert
20.05 No
Interviewer
20.06 And the bottle?
Albert
20.08 Yes, they took that.
20.14 After his death we remained in his room and said goodbye. Quietly.
20.26 Afterwards we had the obligation to call the doctor and tell him. He came right over and saw the bottle. He could do nothing but declare that it was an unnatural death.
With my approval. He did his duty and reported it to the police who came almost directly with a team to investigate the unnatural death.
Interviewer
21.17 How long was it between the time your father died and the doctor came?
Albert
21.23 I took a half hour for that.
Interviewer
21.26 During that half hour what was it like upstairs?
Albert
21.29 Almost surrealistic. We sat there more or less numb and thought: this is it then.
Voice over
21.43 The police investigate the bedroom and the rest of the house. They listen to Albert Terpstra and his friend. Their findings go directly to the Public Prosecution office.
Albert
22.0 At the end of the afternoon the investigating officer said: okay then, we will release the body and you can make arrangements for cremation. Go ahead.
22.18 My children also lost their grandfather in the way that he wanted to present it to them.
Interviewer
22.26 How did you explain it to them? What did you tell them?
Albert
22.34 I had to say that Grampa really felt that he had to do this and gave it a lot of thought before making his decision.
22.50 I told the oldest that if life was an alphabet, then Grampa did not want to live through to the z.