A LOVE APART
by Bettina Haasen


List of Dialogs

2:
Ready?

3:
Out of the way!

4:
Soon you won’t go out with
the goats anymore. That will be over.

5:
As soon as the marriage begins,
you'll have to stay in the tent

6:
and I'll be alone with the goats.

7:
Hopefully the man
you’re marrying has "Asheq"!

8:
But if he doesn't have "Asheq," he should
be handsome. - What are you talking about?

9:
I’d have found it better if her – and not
her parents – had chosen her husband.

10:
You start!

11:
Put it back down.

12:
We'll start again.

13:
You're cheating!
- I am not.

14:
Put it down!

15:
We'll start again.

16:
You're cheating again, Rhaissa!
- I haven't done anything.

17:
The rainy season...

18:
Yes, it's rained a lot.
The ground is full of water.

19:
That's good, now we don't have to
run after the goats anymore.

20:
We also don't need to
dig so deep for water.

21:
Look, Fatimata. How beautiful.

22:
Now we don't have to walk so far
to find pasture.

23:
You can leave the house later
and you know where you’re going.

24:
As soon as the rainy season starts we stay
in the neighborhood with the goats.

25:
But only if they have enough to graze on.

26:
The rainy season is a time of ease
for us shepherdesses.

27:
The riders come here from all over.

28:
They search for food for their camels.

29:
And some are just roaming around.

30:
I don't know what I’d do without goats.

31:
Perhaps you’d live even better.

32:
Can one really live without goats?
- And separated from one’s parents?

33:
You never have peace at your parents’ place.
For that you must go far away.

34:
Separate the goats!

35:
We ask your blessing for
Rhaissa and Effad’s marriage.

36:
It was exactly the same with me.

37:
I had to stay in the tent.

38:
A whole week long inside.
I was tired of lying down.

39:
Rhaissa, are you ready?
- Yes, I'm ready.

40:
You better are!

41:
From the first day of your wedding,

42:
you’re only in the tent
and aren't allowed to speak to anybody

43:
If you are tired of sitting
you lie down.

44:
Can you tell me what makes
a fine husband? - Yes.

45:
What exactly is it, then?

46:
He should have lots of "Asheq."
- What does that mean?

47:
He shouldn't exert any pressure!

48:
No pressure? And what else?


49:
I think that's all.
- Nothing else?

50:
Above all he should be
respected and liked.

51:
Somebody who knows what he's doing.

52:
So then you know what
makes a fine husband.

53:
Are you scared or happy

54:
about us taking you to your
husband at night?

55:
What shall I say? I look forward to it.

56:
Aren't you nervous?
Be honest, Rhaissa.

57:
No, I'm not afraid.

58:
Won't you tremble?
- No, I'm looking forward to it.

59:
Aren't you afraid of your husband?
- No.

60:
But when we take you to him,
you'll get scared.

61:
Well, perhaps on the way...

62:
As soon as the bride hears the sound of drums,
the wedding festivities begin.

63:
If she’s tired, she is not allowed to show it.
If she’s hot, she is not allowed to show it.

64:
No matter what is done to her,
she’ll say nothing.

65:
Even if you take a needle

66:
and stick it into her,
she’d say nothing.

67:
She wouldn’t even blink.

68:
That we call "Takaraket."
That is "Asheq."

69:
Girls today, well...
All you have to do is touch them…

70:
In the old days one had lots of "Takaraket."

71:
I myself had lots of "Takaraket."

72:
Effad asked for Rhaissa's hand
in marriage and we agreed.

73:
I told her that from now on
nothing will be as it was before.

74:
She must respect the rules
of "Takaraket."

75:
She can’t talk to strangers anymore.

76:
She must be aware

77:
that she will soon be
a married woman.

78:
And when one is married,
one can no longer move around freely.


79:
A young bride will be hidden
and doesn't speak.

80:
The bridal tent...

81:
With us it’s the women
who build the tent.

82:
As soon as a tent is built, one knows
that a wedding is underway.

83:
Tomorrow we will start
chopping wood for the tent.

84:
Slowly, slowly!

85:
Rhaissa no longer does anything.
I’m the one who brings her food.

86:
That's how it is.

87:
Fatimata cooks
for her friend Rhaissa.

88:
Rhaissa isn’t allowed to cook anymore.

89:
Give me the spoon.

90:
Here you are.

91:
He who lives to see the wedding of
his daughter can speak of joy.

92:
For two weeks now Fatimata
will stay close to Rhaissa.

93:
She’ll also accompany her to the
bridal tent until Rhaissa's husband comes.


94:
She’ll keep
Rhaissa company.

95:
Fatimata will stay with her
in her mother Hawa’s tent.

96:
I’m happy that Rhaissa is getting married
and that Fatimata is here to accompany her.

97:
I don't know who it will be,

98:
but Fatimata should marry someone
she loves,

99:
And not someone she doesn't love.

100:
I won’t pick the man out for her.
She’ll do that herself.

101:
Hurry up.

102:
What are you waiting for?

103:
You’ve baked "Togela" and have to
bring it to Rhaissa in the tent.

104:
Rhaissa, how are you?

105:
How is your fatigue?

106:
Why don't you answer?

107:
Are you respecting the "Takaraket"?

108:
Is that why you won't talk with me?

109:
Sit down.

110:
Start eating.
Take a spoonful.

111:
Don't laugh!

112:
Two more spoonfuls.

113:
I can't eat anymore.

114:
Eat!

115:
I am the Village Chief of Idoden.

116:
My wife is sitting next to me.

117:
And my daughter is Fatimata,
who is Rhaissa’s friend.

118:
We first met
on our wedding day.

119:
I was with the herd

120:
when he sent someone to ask me.

121:
I also agreed to it then.

122:
It was the same as with
Effad and Rhaissa’s marriage.

123:
I liked her.

124:
I asked her parents
and they agreed.

125:
They asked their daughter
and she said yes.

126:
And that's how our marriage began.

127:
I will not say to my daughter
‘You have to marry this man.’

128:
Whoever wants to marry her
has to ask first.

129:
That's the tradition of the Tuareg.

130:
People must live well together.

131:
They must live together peacefully.

132:
He respects everything that you love.

133:
He must have patience.

134:
And you must help him with it.

135:
You can't live with anyone
if you don’t have patience.

136:
Patience is the most important thing in life.

137:
If there’s something that you don't like,
you must be patient.

138:
You love him, that’s everything.

139:
That’s the only way you can
be together with someone.

140:
That’s all I know.

141:
The family must be provided for.
One must feed and clothe them.

142:
If there’s something the wife likes,
you have to buy it for her.

143:
And this way there aren’t any problems.

144:
My secret is that the bridal tent
is far away from the tent of her parents.

145:
My heart is sad and heavy.

146:
My secret is a tent
built of seven branches.

147:
My heart is sad and heavy.

148:
The father cut the branches in Tagama.

149:
The secret is...

150:
We’re celebrating the marriage of Rhaissa.

151:
Rhaissa is my daughter.

152:
Next to me is her mother, Hawa.

153:
Rhaissa will marry
the son of Setaf Hamid.

154:
His father came, delivered
the proposal and said that

155:
his son Effad would like
to marry my daughter.

156:
I thereupon asked his Mother

157:
and we came to the decision

158:
to give her to him.


159:
The secret of marriage is patience.

160:
In marriage, the most important thing

161:
is that the wife obeys the husband
and does what he says.

162:
The man should be patient

163:
with his wife’s mistakes.

164:
For us Tuareg, "Asheq" is that which
keeps evil away from us.

165:
The secret about which you’re asking
is "Asheq."

166:
Understanding,

167:
patience,

168:
trust,

169:
finding the right person.

170:
That’s the secret.

171:
She’ll now be a woman.

172:
She will leave her parents,
have her own tent and move away.

173:
With us it is customary

174:
that after two or three years,
we bring her belongings and pots

175:
and build a shelter to keep them in.

176:
Then she has everything
and only comes to us for visits.

177:
I met Rhaissa when she
was with her goats.

178:
In the valley of Barbaren
we spoke with each other for the first time.

179:
Then I spoke with my Father.

180:
I liked Rhaissa
and wanted to marry her.

181:
After that my Father
spoke with her Father.

182:
They found it suitable

183:
and the next day
they gave me the answer.

184:
My name is Effad.

185:
My second name is Setaf.

186:
I live in Idoden.

187:
I will marry.

188:
I am marrying

189:
Rhaissa,

190:
who also comes from Idoden.

191:
How are things?

192:
Rhaissa, how are you?

193:
Fatimata, how are you?

194:
My name is Nola, I'm married and
have four children and live in Idoden,

195:
a place I wouldn’t change
for anything in the world.

196:
My husband’s name is Ahmed.

197:
I didn't have an arranged marriage.

198:
I chose my husband myself.

199:
It's better when the woman
chooses her own husband.

200:
If there are problems
later on with the husband,

201:
then the wife will hold it against him
that she didn't choose him herself.

202:
It isn't love if the parents
have arranged it.

203:
Why should I share myself with you?

204:
I should care about you
just because of my parents?

205:
And the problems start already.

206:
If it’s your own choice,
you don't quarrel without a reason.

207:
Even if you separate later,
it was still love and a real marriage.

208:
Good day. How are you?
- It's been a long time.

209:
How is your health?
- Good, thanks. And yours?

210:
The girl has to be prepared
for all this

211:
and be well brought-up by her Mother.

212:
The “Targia” marry in the presence
of all those who are jealous.

213:
The girl has to be prepared
for all this.

214:
Today we’re bringing
bridal presents for Rhaissa.

215:
And then we’ll leave.

216:
With such a blanket
you won't get up in the morning!

217:
Look at this!
- Unpack it again.

218:
Look at all these fabrics and scarves!
Everyone come here, look!

219:
Is Hawa going to miss all this?

220:
Show me! Is this high quality?

221:
Yes, it really looks like it.

222:
How many are there?

223:
Fatimata, do you like the wedding?
- Yes.

224:
How do you like the camels?
- Good.

225:
And the bridal tent?
- Good...

226:
What do you like better, the festivities
or the groom? - The festivities.

227:
Are you forgetting the groom in all this?

228:
And what happens tonight?

229:
We accompany the bride to the tent.
- Right. And then?

230:
Then we take the turban off
the groom's head. - Right. And then?

231:
Then we leave them alone.

232:
Wake up, here we go.

233:
Come on!

234:
And you wanted to
wear high-heeled shoes...

235:
Get up!

236:
I can't.

237:
You have to be strong now. Get up.

238:
Be careful.

239:
Stop making such a fuss!

240:
Get up! We have to take the turban
off the groom.

241:
Then I'll just do it by myself!

242:
Come on, help me!

243:
They’re holding me. What are you waiting for?
Get up women!

244:
Look, he's got a goatee!
- That’s enough!

245:
That’s her! Only she looks like that!

246:
Oh my heart, my heart.

247:
Oh, my friends.

248:
Oh men, go slowly.

249:
Oh, you riders,

250:
you who wander through winds
and scorching heat,

251:
who watch over camels
in the Tessoua Savanna.

252:
What is happening to me
on this night of nights?

253:
But I will submit to you,
my love,

254:
with all of my heart...