Children: |
[singing] |
Karien: |
The
Children's Charter of South Africa claims that children have the right to be
safe, secure, and protected. It also says that all children should be treated
the same and have a say in the matters that affect them. The charter gives
them many more rights which most children probably don't even know about, let
alone understand. But to the many adults on whom these children rely, the
charter demands no more than to simply respect children as the most
vulnerable people in our society. |
|
This
two-part documentary is not for children. It's about them. It's an effort to
look beyond the silent and often misunderstood surface of their outward
behaviour. Here you will have the opportunity to hear some very brave
children tell their stories. They do it trusting you'll be brave enough to
listen. |
Police: |
[inaudible]
you're with him. That's the reason for the arrest. All right. Come. Get your
stuff. |
Karien: |
Vanna
is 14 years old. It's her first bout with the police. The man she is with is
a teacher in his 30s. He's married and has a child of his own. Since his
youth he has been in trouble with the law. This is his second arrest for
abducting a child under the age of 16. |
Police: |
You
came here willing? |
Vanna: |
Yes. |
Police: |
[inaudible] |
Vanna: |
Not
anymore. |
Police: |
Why? |
Vanna: |
If
you love somebody you'll do anything for that person. |
Police: |
But
you're still a kid. |
Vanna: |
Some
people have feelings. |
Police: |
You
have to be at school. Yes. Some people have feelings. But you have to be at
school. At this age you have to be at school. |
Karien: |
The
police found a letter Vanna wrote in which she promises to try and act more
like an adult. They also found a tattoo apparatus which he used to tattoo her
arm. |
|
At
home in Cape Town, Vanna's aunt who adopted her when she was seven struggles
to understand why she ran off with a teacher. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
The
school knew that there was an affair between the teacher and the child. And
they just didn't tell me. |
Karien: |
How
do you know they knew? |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
Because
afterwords the principle, who is the father, told
me. And I said to him, "But why didn't you call me in?" He says,
"No, I thought I could handle it." It's sickening to think that you
send your child to a school, to a boarding school, right, where they should
be safe. And they're not. I gave her everything and for her to have done, to
have just left and run off, that was very, very hurtful. |
Karien: |
Don't
you see sleeping with a 14-year-old as rape? |
Vanna's
Teacher: |
Rape
is when you take somebody and you force somebody into bed and take my force
and you hurt them. But if you care about somebody I don't feel that you're
raping that person. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
She
was a child. He was the adult. And nobody but nobody is going to tell me a
child could tell an adult what to do. |
Vanna: |
[inaudible]
my mother doesn't even care about me. |
Karien: |
Why
do you say that? |
Vanna: |
She
threw me away. I had to go live with my grandparents while she was in
Johannesburg. And then I went to her. I got abused by her fucking, step,
whatever, my stepfather. |
Karien: |
In
Cape Town, Vanna's aunt explained that Vanna's mother fell pregnant when she
was 18. Vanna will never know her father because he denied having fathered
her and has never contacted her mother since. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
When
Vanna was born, you know, Vanna could cry. The mother would look at the
child. She never bonded with the child. If it wasn't for me or my mom, the
child would probably have died. Like her stepfather, you know, the way he hit
her. Kicked her around. Her body was blue. And I always used to say,
"But why didn't your mother intercept? Why didn't she do
something?" "No, my mommy loves him so." And I didn't want her
to grow up thinking that if you are being loved you must be abused. |
Karien: |
So
Vanna's aunt adopted her and sent her to various therapists for treatment.
But they couldn't get through to her and she remained a troubled child. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
You
know what she used to do? She used to steal our things and go and sell it,
pawn it, whatever. I can't trust her. And that's very, very so hard. And this
feeling alone is killing me. And I love this child! I love her like my own. |
Karien: |
It's
a sad story which gets even sadder as it unfolds. But the saddest part is that
Vanna's story isn't unique. Everywhere and every day there are children
suffering from rejection and abuse. And they may be closer to you than you
think. |
Sergeant: |
Hello
mam. Okay? [foreign language]. |
|
I'm
being accompanied by Zukie's mother in connection
with the alleged rape committed by your son. Are you aware about it? |
Woman: |
Yes. |
Sergeant: |
Okay.
So because I understand the child is under the age, is 13 years, I'm going to
warn you to bring him to my office tomorrow to take his statement. |
Karien: |
The
mother was visibly upset. She said she knew her son was mentally retarded. He
suffered severe epileptic fits. But she never expected him to rape a
six-year-old girl. Meanwhile, a group of women began gathering outside. |
Sergeant: |
This
woman has got a big problem. These are neighbours. They are saying the other
neighbours around here, they want to come and burn their house. After hearing
this story they are concerned about the perpetrator as well and the victim
because they are both children. |
Woman: |
Maybe
he was once abused, this child. That's why he is doing something like this. |
Woman: |
The
mothers not drinking. |
Woman: |
[inaudible]
really. It's a sad story. It's a sad story. |
Karien: |
The
next day, Zukie and her sister as well as the alleged
perpetrator and his mother went to the sergeant's office. Here, the
frightened little girl tried her best to explain what happened. |
Girl: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
After
a long, laborious questioning session sergeant [Selepe]
deduced that it wasn't the first time it had happened. And that the
13-year-old boy wasn't the only suspect. The two older brothers were probably
also involved. But it was difficult to get Zukie to
admit anything. Sergeant [Selepe] asked her
repeatedly how she felt. And each time the answer was, "fine". |
Girl: |
[foreign
language] |
Sergeant: |
[foreign
language] |
Girl: |
[foreign
language] |
Sergeant: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
As
his mother spoke, the story unfolded. Here was a boy who lived in a
two-roomed house with his mother and father and six other boys of whom some
were already men. |
Sergeant: |
So
she says sometimes she does go and leave them for the week, so, by
themselves. So you won't know what is happening at home when the mother is
not there. |
Karien: |
The
boy sat there showing no emotion. Yet he clearly understood what was
happening. The mother said his father beat him so often that he'd reached a
point where no form of punishment had any effect on him. |
Sergeant: |
Maybe
it's because this child has been punished too much by the father. And then
it's not only sexual activities that he does to other children. Also he
assaults other children he loathes. So it's out of anger. |
Karien: |
A
few days later we revisited the house where both the suspect and the victim
live. Here we gained insight and more understanding for the way thousands of
children are growing up. |
Sergeant: |
You
see this structure, Karien? You can have about 20
people staying here. This is the house where the suspect lives and there are
about nine of them in this house. So [inaudible] for you to see the house. |
|
So
this is the house. This is where they live. So this is the partition I was
talking about. They can peep underneath. The curtain is not even a door. And
this is the room the mother and the father sleeps. |
Karien: |
And
where do the children sleep? |
Sergeant: |
They
sleep in the kitchen. There are about seven children who are sleeping in this
room. What I feel is that this boy is from an abusive family. The mother has
already explained to me that how the father physically abuses him. Like
hitting him against the wall. Hitting him against the ceiling. You can see
this house, the ceiling, the roof, it's a concrete roof. You can see the
roof. So we took the boy and the boy is being placed at a place of safety.
[inaudible] that's where the child is being placed. And he's going to go to
school from there because he was not even schooling. |
|
I
feel so bad about this case for the fact that people are living in small
places. And you know, a place like this one whereby there is no privacy.
That's my main concern. Because children are exposed to this. Especially
sexual activities. The physical abuse of the boy is very bad. So the father
will be charged for that. So something is done about it. And the mother is
also pleased that at least something is done. So the father is a bully. The
mother is even scared of the father. |
Karien: |
When
we who think we're unaffected hear about child abuse, we almost always blame
the mother. She's the one who should protect her child no matter what the
cost. And there are mothers who do. But often, as in Zukie's
case, the mothers are neither emotionally nor financially equipped to cope
with the situation. And very often they too are traumatised and victimised by
a society that's aloof and condemning. |
Catherine: |
Most
of the mothers find it very difficult to report the sexual abuse if the
perpetrator is one of the family members. Most of the time we find out the
mother is not working. So they are very much dependent on their husband. So
essentially they just sit on such things and they don't report them. They sit
on sexual abuse. And it happens, it carries on and on for years. |
Karien: |
Catherine
Sibeko is a psychiatric nurse at the Zamokuhle clinic. She helps mothers to cope with
traumatic consequences of having discovered their children's abuse. These
mothers are all trying to deal with the fact that their children have been
raped by either a family member or a neighbour they trusted. |
Catherine: |
Most
of them also thought there is a lot of stigma attached to sexual abuse. And
they wouldn't talk about it out there. But since they started coming to this
clinic and sharing with the other mothers their experiences, they have come
to realise that it's, there's not that much of a stigma. And the community
needs to know about this. |
Woman: |
[foreign
language] |
Catherine: |
Many
men who are just idling around at home feel like trying it out. They hear
from the radio, from the TV, that so many kids are being abused, sexually
abused. Then they feel like trying it out. Then they do it. |
Woman: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
Zamokuhle is a small but very active centre. It's the only
community-based clinic of its kind in Soweto. A place where children are
medically examined and where they and their parents can receive therapy and
court preparation. Since the clinic open its doors about four years ago
thousands of children and parents have come for help. People are willing to
change transport up to four times just to get there. Yet the clinic consists
of only two doctors, a few social workers, and nurses, while also trained as
counsellors, some volunteers, and a part-time psychologist. |
Harnisha Nathoo: |
When
I started I was completely inundated. I used to see up to 18 children a day.
And I'm only here once a week. So but I've cut that down drastically to six
to eight a day. That's only because I've realised that the children really
need the individual therapy more than they need the group therapy. I'm now
getting the very young children and everybody sees the older children. So
young, I mean as young as two. |
Emelda: |
Hyperactivity
is one of the symptoms in sexually abused children. I think with this one,
she might be hyperactive with playing things because of she's trying to block
what has happened to her. It's painful for her to think of those kind of
things. I allow her to play with any toy that is in the room just to start to
form a relationship with me and then as time goes on, then I will start on
focusing on the issues that I need to deal with. That is when I can start
doing direct play therapy. But it also depends on what kind of a child is
she? With this one, I think she is very open. She's talkative, and she's a
little bit free with me. Some of the kids, you can see them for 10 sessions
and they are still withdrawn. They don't want to play and they don't want to
talk. |
Harnisha Nathoo: |
The
children come with a lot of anger which needs to be contained and worked
through. And if it's not worked through, then it manifests in aggressive ways.
And most commonly, adults then express that when they have their own
children. A child that is being abused grows up and then manifests those
aggressive actions or that anger onto their children. And that can be in the
form of hitting them or abusing them. |
Karien: |
This
aggressive behaviour was clearly seen in a five-year-old boy who was assessed
at a clinic in Pretoria. He was brought there because of his habitual
swearing and his bad, uncontrollable behaviour. When he was given a choice of
toys, he chose the boxing gloves. He also enjoyed the hammer. This wasn't
abnormal. Not on the surface. But towards the end of the three-hour session
after he had been given an atomically correct doll of both sexes to bathe his
behaviour became questionable. He didn't want to undress or bathe the old
lady. |
Boy: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
Sometime
later when his attention was drawn back to the old lady, he demonstrated how
she pulled his willy and ate it. |
Woman: |
[foreign
language] |
Boy: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
Then
he turned on the therapist and the dolls. His aggression was disturbing. |
Woman: |
[foreign
language] |
Harnisha Nathoo: |
They
lose the ability to trust in people. And it's more difficult if it's a family
member because those are the people they love. A lot of uncontained anger.
And a very poor self esteem. That's what I find.
And a lot of fear. They withdraw a lot from school, amongst their friends.
They withdraw at home from their friends as well. They don't go out and play. |
Catherine: |
The
child gets healing by attending play therapy. There's a lot of issues that
get addressed in play therapy. Feelings. And even the issue of rape gets
discussed. The child gets healing. A lot of healing from therapy. And the
mother too. If the mother attends counselling she gets to know the sexual
abuse better than before, to know what to do about it. How to cope with it. |
Karien: |
At
Zamokuhle there is also a support group for mothers
who don't have a means of earning an income. Here they are taught how to knit
and sew. |
Woman: |
Many
of them, they can't do nothing. They know about the abuse. That's because
they haven't got money. They haven't got anywhere to go. It's just take it
like that. So today we see that we must come together as mothers. Your child
is abused or not, we come together so that we must fight this crime. That
said enough is enough. |
Woman: |
[foreign
language] |
Emelda: |
That's
why we say to them when they grow up they should bring them back for
counselling. |
Karien: |
Do
they? |
Emelda: |
No,
I haven't met someone who has brought her child for the second time because
he was abusing when she was three. What happened is that they just bring them
maybe when the child is 12 years. And it has occurred again. When the child
has been maybe raped or sexually abused for the second time. They don't take
it very serious because they are denying it. And then the mother is thinking
nothing has happened to the child because they don't know that even touching
or fondling a child is sexual abuse. They don't believe it. And for them, if
their child is playing okay with other children, it means that the child is
not affected at all. It's because some of the children don't want to show it.
Some of them, they don't feel comfortable because they don't receive any support
from the family members. And they feel that there is no need for me to sit
there and play and as long as they play with other children. |
Karien: |
Do
you still remember Vanna? She's the 14-year-old who ran away with her married
teacher in his 30s. It's time we took a closer look at Vanna's story. Let's
go back to the scene of the arrest in Pretoria. What you haven't heard yet is
her disclosure that as a very young child she was also molested by a man
living on her aunt's property. |
Vanna: |
I
got molested too and my aunt didn't all know it. But I couldn't remember so
much anymore because I used to block it out of my mind. |
Karien: |
And
this happened ... How old were you? |
Vanna: |
From
since I was about two until I was 13. And then I couldn't take it anymore and
I told my auntie. But between that time when I was about five, I lived and I
came back when I was six because of the abusing of my stepfather. And it just
went on. And then afterwards I told him straight to his face that was he was
doing was wrong. And then afterwards then I told my auntie. |
Karien: |
At
home, Vanna's aunt was physically ill with worrying about her adopted
daughter. Yet she agreed to participate in the programme because she believed
in might serve as a warning to other parents. What follows has no blame. It's
simply a message to those who are willing to listen. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
For
the last year I'd say we started drifting apart. She became totally
uncontrollable. I couldn't tell her anything. If I tried to reprimand her
she'll back chat me. That closeness that we had, we didn't have it. And I
don't know what to do. I'm so confused! |
Karien: |
Did
you know that one of the symptoms of sexual abuse is that children become
uncontrollable? |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
No,
I didn't. I didn't. |
Karien: |
Another
difficult assessment. This little boy was brought in because he had become
completely uncontrollable. He would, for example, invite older boys to lie
under his bed so that he could suck their willies. During the first
three-hour session he avoided any meaningful interaction. |
Woman: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
The
therapist simply played along until both of them ran out of steam. A month
later he was brought in again. Though he gave into a lot of pent up anger and
frustration, he cooperated this time. He drew his house. But no one except he
was allowed to live in it. |
Boy: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
After
almost three hours he was given the anatomically correct dolls which he used
to show his intimate knowledge of sex. |
Boy: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
Though
he said it was dirty and disgusting, when he thought the therapist wasn't
watching he took one of the dolls under the table. Later when they were
dressing the dolls, he asked her to leave the room. He said he would dress
the dolls on his own. But after she left he didn't dress them. |
Woman: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
This
behaviour showed definite signs of sexual abuse. And a lot of exposure to
sex. As a very young child the inner core of this little boy was seriously
damaged. |
Luke: |
What
people don't like to hear about children is that they're also sexual. Okay?
When children get touched on sexual areas the feeling is pleasurable. You'll
see children touching one and another and experimenting and playing. And
those things are normal. However, when adults come and start taking advantage
of that, that is where it starts becoming a problem. Where children know what
is happening is wrong. But at the same time their bodies feel a good
sensation. And that is what creates the problem for the child around the
guilt and so on. And that is what perpetrators take advantage of. So remember
when a child is not talking- |
Karien: |
Luke
Lampbrecht was speaking at a masters training
workshop on the management of child sexual abuse in [inaudible]. He explained
how some perpetrators groom their victims to a point where the child is
caught in a web that he or she cannot escape from. This is probably what
happened to Vanna. |
Luke: |
What
they will do is they will start blurring the body boundaries. Good touch,
which it was originally, turns into bad touch. This is not only with
strangers. The incest family, the father could do exactly the same process
within his own family. One phrase you must remember, it is not the monsters
who abuse our children. It's the nice guys like you and me. What kind of job
do they choose? Principals, teachers, priests, social workers, caregivers,
childcare workers. They're called in Korea perpetrators. Their entire life is
set up around having access to children. |
Rene: |
He
will start to fulfil the child's emotional needs in terms of giving him love,
giving him a lot of praise, doing new things with the child, giving him
security in terms of I'll pick you up at four and he'll be there at four. And
gradually, and this is the grooming process, gradually at the end he will
start to touch the child's body. And then at the end he will abuse the child
sexually. So you can very clearly see that it's a gradual process. And it's
the grooming process actually to take hold of the child emotionally first.
And then at the end they abuse the child sexually. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
The
one thing she did tell me about this teacher was, that he was the only one
that listened to her. And she looked up to him as a father. And I said to
her, "Vanna, you looked up to him as a father. And that is where he
found that he could abuse you. He could take it a bit further." And she
said, "No, no, no, no, no! He understands me." |
Karien: |
Vanna's
aunt agreed to let Renee Potgieter assess her child in the hope that someone
would at last be able to get through to her. |
Rene: |
And
how was he like? Your stepfather? |
Vanna: |
My
mother was his fourth wife. One night he would sleep in my mother's bed. And
I had to sleep in his third wife's bed. And then I had to sleep with my mother
and he would sleep with his third wife. Like, that night he used to put my
head in the water and he used to push me into the pillow and kick my head
with his shoe on the pillow. My head would be in the pillow and his head, his
shoe would be on my neck, keeping me down. But I was really upset with the
fact that my mother, as much as she loves me and I know that she loves me,
that she chose him above me because she sent me away. |
Rene: |
What
did you do with that anger? |
Vanna: |
I
used to beat other people that was smaller than me or people that I knew I
could hurt. Or I used to hit my aunt and my grandmother because my
grandmother is smaller than what I am. And she's older. So she couldn't hit
me. |
Karien: |
Later
in the assessment, Renee drew a world which was Vanna's alone. She could put
anyone in it she wanted to. Her first reaction was to ask if she could choose
someone she didn't know. |
Vanna: |
Can
I choose somebody that isn't, that like- |
Rene: |
Yeah,
anybody. Anybody. You can do that. It's your world. You can do that. |
Vanna: |
A
father. |
Rene: |
Okay.
Who would you like to stay outside of your world? |
Vanna: |
My
stepfather. |
Karien: |
She
added the man who stays on her aunt's property, his stepson, and the man at
the butcher. They had to stay outside her world with her stepfather. Renee
asked her why them? Her stepfather, she said, because he hurt her. |
Rene: |
And
the man in the yard? |
Vanna: |
Because
he likes touching. |
Rene: |
And
his stepson? |
Vanna: |
The
same reason. |
Rene: |
And
the man at the butcher? |
Vanna: |
Also
touching me and was telling me that he looked down my pants- |
Karien: |
Renee
took Vanna through a slow moving but very painful process. It took time and
patience to allow her to disclose in her own time and at her own pace. |
Rene: |
What
did his hand do? |
Vanna: |
He
used to move his hand around a lot in the front. And then afterwards he went
further to the back all the time. I felt really dirty and embarrassed. And I
couldn't do anything so I felt sorry for myself. |
Rene: |
Can
you remember how old you were when he started doing this? |
Vanna: |
I
can't remember. I can remember it was before but what I always did was I
tried to forget about it. I always made myself forget about what happened.
But sometimes you can't forget something. |
Rene: |
Well,
there is no doubt this child was sexually abused over a really long period.
It seems to me from the age of around about three to four years the abuse
started. And what I can't really understand was the fact that she was in
therapy for a very long time and nobody detected the sexual abuse. This child
really clearly dissociated from the sexual abuse and then this whole process
of dissociation creates a lot of feelings in the child and she's got to do
something with that. And many times they actually start with behavioural
problems because of this. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
In
your mind you always think where have you gone wrong? What happened? Haven't
you given enough attention? I thought the two of us had a fantastic
relationship. Why didn't she trust me? |
Rene: |
Tell
me about the feelings. What did you do with all those feelings? |
Vanna: |
I
hid my feelings. I didn't want anybody to know what was happening because I
was scared people would make fun of me if I said something like that. My
mother would say I was lying or something. |
V's
Grandmother: |
Vanna,
she's got a lot of fantasies. She sees somebody now, she's got a fantasy
about that one. I mean, that's how she was. That's how I know her. So I can't
just go yes, it's true. I won't. I won't. I won't commit myself. Sorry. But
with this one, he is a bad guy. |
Rene: |
She
needs a father. So it was actually really easy for him at the end to use her
sexually because he fulfilled, and I think he was the first one who actually
fulfilled in all her emotional needs. |
Karien: |
During
the assessment, Vanna explained how the teacher came to be her best friend.
She felt safe with him, she said. He protected her. |
Vanna: |
That's
why I ran away with him. That was the only way to be with him. |
Karien: |
She
said that it wasn't that she wanted to have sex with him. She allowed it. |
Vanna: |
For
me, it was our way of showing [inaudible]. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
A
teacher with I think it was six sentences against him. A teacher! You know? |
V's
Grandmother: |
He
robbed her of her education, of her career, of a life. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
I
mean, this child, she wants to come home. But does she know what she's going
to come home to? I think she, even though she's not the perpetrator, she will
be made one living in a society here. What will the school say? Where will I
put her in a school? What school will I send her to? |
Rene: |
Unfortunately,
in her mind, she combined positive sexual feelings with emotional caring. Can
you see? So this child, she's a high risk child. And I think if she doesn't
get correct therapy, there's a lot of problems ahead. |
Vanna's
Aunt: |
This
guy is going to pay for what he has done. I'm not going to leave it lying
because today it is my daughter, tomorrow someone else's daughter. And then
he's got a daughter of his own. |
V's
Grandmother: |
She
always said, "Momma? I want to be a lawyer." |
Vanna: |
I
always said to everybody that I was a mistake because my mother was young
when she had me. I was thrown away and only bad things happen in my life. So
to me, I'm not good enough. |
Rene: |
Who
told you you're not good enough? |
Vanna: |
I
tell myself I'm not good enough. |
Rene: |
She's
not a mistake. She's a bundle of potential. But there's a lot of muddles in
her head. A lot of hurt, a lot of pain. And the feeling that she actually was
damaged as a person. So you can go on through therapy forever and you will
not be able to help her until you've reached the sexual abuse and start to
work on that. |
Haley: |
What
I want you to start doing today is think about, if you all close your eyes,
okay, close your eyes. I want you to think about something that makes you
feel very scared or upset. Something that doesn't make you feel good. |
Karien: |
These
are ordinary children in an ordinary school. Haley Burman is one of a few art
therapists in the country. |
Haley: |
Okay,
when you're ready, open your eyes and start painting. Okay? Or drawing. |
Karien: |
Like
Vanna, most children find it very difficult to talk about abuse. Especially
sexual abuse. And to protect themselves, they can disassociate it to the
point where they may never verbalise what happened to them. Yet, they may be
able to make a drawing in which the subconscious cries out for help. |
Haley: |
Okay,
what we've been doing is going into schools in primarily training teachers.
And when we work with the children, ask them to represent an image that they
don't feel safe. And through this process we've come up with so many cases of
violence that they've been exposed to. Of trauma that they've been witness to
as well as a lot of abuse and rape cases. |
Woman: |
She
loves her daughter more than myself. |
Karien: |
The
children were asked to present their unsafe drawings to the class. This boy
drew a picture of a harsh barrier separating him from his father, his
stepmother, and stepsister. They stood inside the house while he stood
outside in the rain. |
Woman: |
My
daddy says I'm troublesome. |
Haley: |
While
he keeps telling his father that his stepmother doesn't love him, his father
won't believe him and tells him he is making trouble. So no one is hearing
his pain. And I think it was the first time that he was able to really
express it. |
Karien: |
This
girl didn't want to show her drawing. She said it was too upsetting. |
Woman: |
I
explained to my friend's teacher I can't explain my drawing. I even went to
the police station and reported the case. But nothing has been done about it.
I'm scared even to go out in the streets because I'm afraid this person would
attack me again and do the same thing to me again. |
Haley: |
A
car stopped and a man with a gun approached her and tried to rape her. And
she was terrified. And there were a lot of children around her so she was
able to run away. And she reported the case and nothing was done. And that's
often the case as well where children are confronted by the perpetrators
every single day whether it's an incest case in the house or whether they're
walking home and have to confront the same men over and over again. And often
it leads to multiple rape situation where they never feel safe. And this is a
very good example of a little girl who did a self portrait
of herself and crossed her heart and had tears coming down her face. And when
spoken to in a very containing space, in a very trusting space, she made
another image after that which was this one where she was gang raped. And
depicted herself as this very almost invisible little girl in the corner. And
all these very dominant men around her. |
|
This
example is one of a little girl who only described it as a tree with flowers
and the sun. She told us that her grandfather rapes her all the time. |
Karien: |
The
Child Protection Unit of Soweto can arrest up to eight suspects on a single,
well planned night raid. The cases are rape. And the victims young. |
Man: |
The
victim in this case is only seven-years-old. |
Woman: |
It
happened about twice, yes. |
Karien: |
She
was raped twice? |
Woman: |
Yeah,
she was raped twice. |
Karien: |
The
CPU's success depends on the victim. |
Man: |
So
we have checked around the rooms but she failed to point a suspect. So now we
will try again one day to come in, arrest the suspect. |
Woman: |
I'm
sure he is here. She just can't point him, you know? It was, it's too many
boys in there. I always teach her, you must never take money from the other
people. You must never, never listen to somebody, especially a man. Her
mother said she is very sick. She's got stomach ache. And I said no, but you
must watch her. She's got a bad smell. Why don't you take her to the clinic?
She had a terrible smell. She took her to the clinic. The doctor said she was
sexually abused. |
Karien: |
In
this case, the alleged rapist was the grandfather. |
Woman: |
In
fact, this thing was discovered when the social worker revisited the school
and the way they told the children about the child abuse. Then the child went
to one of the social workers [inaudible]. |
Karien: |
Did
you tell your grandfather you were going to tell the police? |
Girl: |
Yeah,
I told him. |
Karien: |
What
did he say? |
Girl: |
He
said he would kill me. |
Karien: |
The
saddest case was that of a six-year-old who was abducted, raped, and left
alone in an open field. She wandered around all night until someone
discovered her the next morning. And though she had the courage to take the
police back to where it had happened, there was no sign of the perpetrator. |
Woman: |
The
police bring her to me. So the way she was looking, she was ... I can't
explain it. Oh no. |
Karien: |
It
upsets you. |
Woman: |
Yeah,
it's so much. So much. I would be so happy if I could find this guy. Oh no.
It took my child's life away. |
Sergeant
C: |
Okay,
my baby. Give me a hug. It's all right, isn't it? |
|
She's
shaking. She is actually shaking. They usually get traumatised. Instead of
pointing the suspect others get afraid all together and just point and run
away. So that's a problem we're faced with. And unfortunately she has to do
that. |
Karien: |
Why? |
Sergeant
C: |
Positive
identification. Because if we come to a house looking for a suspect, we don't
know who the suspect is. We may know the name but we don't know the face. If
you get there, we're looking for so and so. And they say, no, such a person
does not stay here. But she is there to identify that is the person. |
Children: |
I
have the right to say no! I have the right to say no! |
Sergeant
C: |
When
you say no- |
Karien: |
Sergeant
Cybill [Adishu] no longer goes out on raids. After
nine emotionally exhausting and very painful years, she talks to the
children, hoping to teach them how to protect themselves. |
Sergeant
C: |
Usually
after the lecture, we always make an invitation that those with problems,
they must come forward. You hear pathetic stories. And you can't begin to
imagine what's happened to our people? What's happened to our communities?
You can't believe such things are happening. And they are. |
|
When
I started touching the breasts and the bums, she shrieked. She was just like
that. Why did you do that? |
Girl: |
Because
I didn't want you to touch me. |
Sergeant
C: |
Wow!
Beautiful! She doesn't like to be touched! Wonderful! What are you supposed
to say to me when I touch you like that? |
Girl: |
I
will say don't touch me. |
Sergeant
C: |
Yes.
You have to be angry. Show it to me. |
Girl: |
No!
Don't touch me! |
Sergeant
C: |
Beautiful!
Wow! |
|
What
I normally say to these children is that I'm happy that you told the truth. That
person is found not guilty in this charge not because the child lied in
court. Because we know they have rights to defences that men can go scot
free. But deep down he's hurt. He knows he did it. And I always say, one day
he is going to meet with his creator where he has to say why did he do that.
We won't be there to witness that. I always console myself about that, that
who am I to judge? Who am I to judge? I'm just doing my job. That's all. |
Children: |
Don't
touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me! This is my body, my
body that's mine. [singing] |
Girl: |
Say
no! |
Children: |
Say
no! |
Girl: |
Say
no to child abuse! |
Children: |
No! |
Girl: |
Say
no to child abuse! |
Children: |
No!
[singing] |
People: |
No
excuse for child abuse! |
Man: |
No
pain! Keep them in chains! |
People: |
No
pain! Keep them in chains! |
Man: |
No
pain! Keep them in chains! |
People: |
No
pain! Keep them in chains! |
Woman: |
I
just cannot believe that you had no idea for three years that your three
children were being raped and that their mother has 700 charges of rape
against- |
Man: |
Let
him answer. Let him answer. |
Man: |
I
don't know anything about my children. Because I was divorced. |
Woman: |
How
can you have done that to your children! What the hell is wrong with you! |
Karien: |
Do
you remember the [inaudible] court case where a mother was accused of renting
out her own children as prostitutes? Like the Samantha R. case and a few
others, it made headline news and people talked about it for a while. But
where are all those children now? Somewhere, someone is making major
decisions about their lives. |
|
This
is a second part of a documentary that tries to give children a voice.
Ironically, it's not made for children. It's about them. Because it's they
who are crying out in an adult world with adult rules for someone to please
pay attention. |
Rene: |
[foreign
language] |
Ansie: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
Ansie was a very troubled little girl when she had this
forensic assessment. Her mother had died and she didn't want to live with her
father. She was placed in foster care with her mother's sister, Aunt Marie. |
Aunt
Marie: |
Ansie was a very, very, very subnormal child. A terrorist
child. A horrible child who messed about it in class, who threw desks and
chairs around, hit her teachers, who swore in the class, who did all kinds of
terrible things. And I started with Ansie with all
kinds of therapies and then I took her from one place to the other place,
which caused thousands and thousands of rand. Thousands and thousands of rand
to try and see can somebody get this child to talk because she would not
talk. |
Rene: |
And
that stage the teacher said that she as thinking that this child was actually
mentally retarded because she couldn't read and she couldn't write. |
|
[foreign
language] |
Aunt
Marie: |
Ansie was living with me and then Ansie
said that her father told her ugly things. And also every weekend when she
went to her father, Ansie had vaginal discharges
which a child of six years old don't normally have. Then I discovered she was
masturbating, had a pen in her vagina, and all these terrible things which I
wasn't used to. "But which daddy told me to do because good little girls
have to do it." And that is what made me realise how severely
traumatised this child was. And how the humanity in her childhood has been
totally taken away from her. |
Rene: |
[foreign
language] |
|
She
was really anxious about the fact that she had to talk about the father. |
|
[foreign
language] |
Ansie: |
[foreign
language] |
Rene: |
[foreign
language] |
|
And
of course the games were structured in such a way that eventually she did
talk about him. And at the end she disclosed the information that she was
sexually abused over a long period of time in various ways. |
|
[foreign
language] |
Ansie: |
[foreign
language] |
Aunt
Marie: |
I
brought it under the mother's attention and she didn't listen. And she didn't
listen because sadly my sister was also raped when she was nine years old. So
she committed suicide because she never had therapy. So she could never cope with
what happened to her. So what happened to her daughter she could not cope
with. And that's why she committed suicide. |
Rene: |
So
this is actually very sad because once the mother wasn't there anymore, of
course the father had much more time to abuse the child. |
|
[foreign
language] |
Ansie: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
She
also demonstrated he held his finger there. |
Rene: |
After
she showed me the information with the dolls I told her you can do with the
doll whatever you would like to do. That was specifically with reference to
the father doll. And then there was just this explosion of anger. |
Ansie: |
[foreign
language] |
Rene: |
[foreign
language] |
Ansie: |
[foreign
language] |
Rene: |
I
think this was the biggest explosion of anger towards the perpetrator that
I've ever seen. After that she said, "He's dead." And then she put
him in the dust bin. [foreign language] |
|
So
you could really see that this child had so much pain that she had inhibited
all the time. What was interesting was that the teacher found the foster care
mother after a while and said the child has changed. She's different. She can
read and she can write. She's not mentally retarded. |
Karien: |
Ansie is going on to 10 now and she's been going for therapy
regularly. She's doing well in school and she's slowly becoming a happy and
balanced child. But she is one of a fortunate few. Most parents can't afford
the cost of ongoing therapy. And many don't even realise how important it is.
And then there are the abusive parents. Those who are in denial. The
prognosis for their children isn't very good. They will most probably grow up
to be troubled adults who may or may not seek help one day. |
Woman: |
It's
a feeling that you grow up with. So it becomes inside of you. It becomes a
part of you. And it affects every area of your life. Every area. Physically,
emotionally, mentally, intellectually. Every single area of your life is
affected. You can walk away from the perpetrator, but you never walk away
from the crime. Never. Or the emotions. Or the bad feelings. They all go with
you. So you're drawn ... A lot of women are drawn to men that abuse them.
They say you recreate your childhood struggle. You take every woman that is
promiscuous and she comes from a sexually abused background I thought because
it's a child naturally wants love from its parents. And a lot of women look
for it in a sexual manner. Because that is how they got it, you see. That is
the only way they got it. |
Woman: |
My
marriage was falling apart. I was having an affair, which I shouldn't have
had. You're actually looking for the distance. So far that you will end up in
extramarital affairs just to get him away from you. Just to make him cross
with you. And the moment that you have a fight he is at a distance. Then he's
not right next to you. And the intimacy is too much to handle. And you end up
in an affair where you're in control. Where you can turn around and walk out
and say this is something I'm in control of. I can decide when I'm seeing
you. I can decide when I'm not seeing you. And then you go back home and then
there is this silent war. And then you know now he's off your body for a
while. |
Woman: |
And
you are safe. |
Woman: |
And
I'm safe. Why? He's not close to me. I'm safe. |
Woman: |
Does
it mean you don't love him, you don't want him? |
Woman: |
You
want him. But you don't want him physically near. |
Dr. Follie: |
Not
only that you don't want intimacy. You do want it. But you want it in a
situation where you feel in control. |
Woman: |
Because
say before you get married, it's not a have to. But as soon as you get
married it's expected from you. Like it's expected when you're small. |
Woman: |
I
made my husband's life miserable. And I destroyed my children's relationship
with their father for a long time because I was not knowing why or why I was
doing this. I had to protect them from their father. If he shouted at them I
would interfere. If he corrected them in any way, if he hit them, I would
interfere. I was always protecting the kids out of all proportion. I mean
there was no reason. He was a good father. But I felt such a strong need to
protect them. |
Dr. Follie: |
And
authors of books refer to the spouse as being in no man's land. They don't
know what to do. Whatever they are doing they are doing wrong. |
Woman: |
So
spouses don't know how to handle this. They need as much therapy as somebody
else does. |
Woman: |
You
know, I love so much but I can't bear him to touch me. Having sex was like
having sex with my father. It was like if he was away from me I loved him.
But when he was with me I couldn't bear that closeness. I couldn't bear that
intimacy. And it started driving me crazy because I couldn't understand why I
felt this way. And that got me off to a therapist. And it was then that I
realised I had been sexually abused as a child. It was then only that it came
out. |
Karien: |
It's
a very traumatic experience for adults who repress the abuse to confront the
fact and accept themselves. The healing process is long and painful and often
very lonely. Our next survivor grew up in a very violent home. Her father was
the abuser. And as a child she thought her mother was the one who suffered.
In later years her brother committed suicide. And she realised where her own
aggressive behaviour came from. Today she blames her mother as much as her
father. She confronted both parents in a letter which she delivered
personally. And she hasn't heard from them since. |
Woman: |
I
read a book called The Courage to Heal. And I realised that when you come
from a family like I have, there's denial. And that's what my mother was
doing. She didn't protect us. She just stood by watching what was going on.
He was violent towards everything and everybody. If we had pets and they got
on his nerves he'd simply just shoot them and leave them lying there. |
|
I
was eating breakfast and I saw my dog lying there dead. To this day I can't
eat that food. You know. It just reminds me of that. There were other things
that were even more horrific even than killing dogs that he used to actually
do to them. He had friends who would take advantage of me. And if I
complained I got into trouble. So all my life I was protecting myself
basically from men. From my father and from friends. And today I'm actually,
I'm scared of, I'm scared of men. I have difficulty relating to them. So
that's where I am now. |
Woman: |
I
felt more upset with my mother than with my father because she was the one
that had to protect me. |
Woman: |
Even
if she didn't know? |
Woman: |
She
had to know. |
Dr. Follie: |
Nearly
all adult survivors start thinking where was the parent when I was abused?
Why didn't my parent do anything to protect me? Even if the parent didn't
know about it. |
Woman: |
I've
never known anybody that I can trust. And then I'll meet somebody. I'll love
him still but I just can't cope with him around me because I push him away
and I fight. My whole life has actually just been a fight. And it's so hard
when you, in the thick of things. It's like you're a mental case. And I've
had, I've been to psychiatrists. I've been to psychologists. I've been on
medication. And just almost nothing helps. It's like such a long road. You
know, I'm 42 years old. And I'm such a mess. |
Woman: |
You
take the step and you speak to somebody and the first thing they take you to
is a minister or a priest. And the first thing he says to you is, "You
must be able to forgive. You must be able to pray about this and forget about
it." And this is not about forgiving. This is dealing with a day-to-day
situation. This has got nothing to do with religion. This is about how to understand
things that are happening to you that you don't understand. |
Woman: |
The
support group is very important. To meet with other women who feel similarly,
who have been through the same process. That is a great part of the healing
for me. |
Woman: |
Don't
sit back and think it's going to go away because it's not. |
Woman: |
People
who have come from backgrounds like mine must realise that there are many,
many people who are battling with it. And it's a long journey. You know like
if you work at it, it gets better. And for people who are normal, to say to
you pull yourself towards yourself, it's not that easy. You can't understand
what it feels like. It's as though you're spinning all the time. And you get
better when you're ready. |
Karien: |
One
mother who wasn't going to turn her back and pretend nothing happened is
Cornelia. |
Cornelia: |
My
son now is four. When this happened, he was three and a half. It's a
nightmare. I've taken it very hard. A lot of people say to me, "How did
you not know that your child was being molested for two and a half
years?" How was I supposed to know? It's the last thing on my mind. I
was asked the question, why did I not check? Two and a half year old boy. He
can walk, he can sit, he can go to the toilet, he does everything on his own
with a little help from me. And I have to say to him listen, boy, bend over
because I need to see if you've been sodomised. Why would I do that? Why on
earth would I do that? |
Karien: |
Her
son's case was one of several indecent assault cases against the owner of a
pre-primary school. |
Cornelia: |
You
know how I found out? I read the newspaper one night. And I got to page five.
And my world stopped because in this article this man was already arrested
six months prior for a case of molesting a boy. And he was supposed to appear
in court in the October month. And not one person out there, and this is
where CPU is responsible for a lot of agony in this country. They were
supposed to phone every parent and warn them. And they should have given me
the decision. Do I want to keep him there? Or don't I? They never gave me a
choice because for six months my son got hurt six months longer than he
should have. |
|
When
I found out about my child, believe me, it took me almost two weeks before I
saw one of them. Two weeks! So I sat for two weeks with all my pain. And if
it wasn't for that article in that newspaper that particular night, I would
never have known. My life would have moved on. And ten years from now all
hell would have broken loose because I would have had this terrible teenager
and I wouldn't of known what happened to him. |
Woman: |
Childline,
good afternoon. |
Karien: |
Cornelia
said after having read the article on Friday, she still couldn't get hold of
the CPU by Sunday night. She then phoned Childline and discovered that they
offered far more than just the voice at the other end of the telephone line.
She and her son have been going there for therapy for some time now. |
Cornelia: |
Out
of desperation I thought well, let me phone the line at Childhood phone.
Because I am so low down on my knees I'm a child. If it wasn't for them, I
wouldn't have been here today. He can never forget. He will never forget. It
will always be there. But he has learned to deal with that anger. He's
learned to make peace with the perpetrators. He's learned to get on with
life. But without therapy he will not get better. And I've proved that my son
from where he was to where we are now are almost two different people already
because of the change that has happened to him. Because he's learned to deal
with it. Not to forget it. But to deal with it. |
Karien: |
When
Cornelia spoke to us, all the other children had either lost or withdrawn
their cases. Hers was the only one still standing. |
Cornelia: |
I'm
not going to stop here and I will have a big mouth for the rest of my life.
But what will happen on the day if he had to walk free, I cannot tell
anybody. I cannot comment. But what I can tell you is at the end of the day
he will pay, regardless. |
Karien: |
And
although she wasn't about to give up, she could understand why other parents
did. The courts experience alone, and this can drag on for more than two
years, was bad enough, she said, to make anyone give up. |
Cornelia: |
A
mother gets told to bring her child to court at eight o'clock. Mother and
child arrive. It's a cold place. It's unfriendly. The perpetrator is all over
the building. He's got free hand. And then at about half past nine, ten, if
you're lucky, by eleven, twelve o'clock they'll say to you, "Now it's
your chance." The child is three or four. He's been there since eight
o'clock. He's had no freedom. There is no food. There is no drink. And the
child is exhausted. And then you say to the three-year-old child or the
four-year-old child, "Stand up and tell us what happened." If the
child contradicts itself once, he's considered as a liar. Case out of court. |
Karien: |
Why
then put your child through the agony of a trial if all he seems to get is
punishment for having been abused? |
Cornelia: |
One
day when my son is in his 20s or his late teens and he turns around one day
and he says to me, you know what, mommy? I can remember that I was sodomised
when I was a little boy. Then I want to look my son in the eyes and I want to
know that from within me I can look at him and I can tell him I did
everything I possibly could at that time. I tried my best. And the more you
talk about it, and the more we will talk about it, and the more we will share
our faces, and the more we will show our children, there will be no more stigma
attached to it. And more people will come forward and say hey, help me. I've
been abused. |
Karien: |
Do
you remember Ansie, the angry little girl who was
fortunate enough to be in therapy? Did you know that her aggressive behaviour
towards her father was an act, a lie. Well, the courts said she lied. He was
found innocent. And if he is innocent, he would have the right to fetch and
raise his daughter, wouldn't he? But what about Ansie? |
Ansie: |
He
is guilty because he is horrible. |
Karien: |
Horrible? |
Ansie: |
He's
a pig. I feel he's a pig. |
Karien: |
They
say he didn't do it. |
Ansie: |
But
they're wrong. |
Karien: |
So
how do you feel? The court says he didn't do it. Everybody says he didn't do
it. They say you lie. |
Ansie: |
They
lie. They are lying because he did do it. |
Aunt
Marie: |
After
three years of court cases it's not guilty. Well now she's been to
therapists, psychologists, social workers, play therapists, all these people
and I think she was molested but the court doesn't listen to you. Nobody
listens to the child. The child has got no human rights. None whatsoever. |
Karien: |
Why
are they not listening to you? |
Ansie: |
Because
I'm not bleeding. That's why. And because they don't believe me. I think it's
not right. |
Karien: |
But
why must I believe you? |
Ansie: |
Because
you must help me and other people. |
Aunt
Marie: |
She's
not physically bleeding now. But mentally she will bleed forever. |
Karien: |
If
you had the chance to speak to another little girl like you, what would you
tell her? |
Ansie: |
I
would tell her she must also speak because you must help other people. You
must help yourself and you must help the other children. |
Karien: |
But
you spoke and it didn't help. So why must someone speak? |
Ansie: |
Maybe
they will they listen to her. Maybe she bleed. |
Aunt
Marie: |
Nobody
listens. There is no law in this country protecting a child. If a child is
bleeding because it's been raped, yes. Then they will listen. But if the
child is not bleeding, nobody but nobody will listen. |
Karien: |
Ansie knows her mother died. But she doesn't know how or why.
The suicide letter was disregarded by the court because it wasn't a legal
document. |
Aunt
Marie: |
In
the letter she apologises that she [inaudible]. The laws [inaudible] it must
have been just after she took her overdose of tablets. She wrote I would like
for my sister to have the children and not their father. He is a child
molester. And I would like Ansie to have a chance
in life. Please try to see that this is my last and final wish. |
|
What
I want to know now, is Ansie going the same way as
my sister? And if she goes back to her father, what is going to happen to
her? |
Rene: |
It
seems to me the main problem was the fact that somebody has witnessed that
this child at some stage ran after the father, grabbed him around the leg and
was quite lovable towards him. Now, the child denied this specific incident.
But there was a professional person who witnessed this information and
actually confirmed this in court. |
Aunt
Marie: |
Ansie saw her father five months after her mother died. So if
you really don't understand, yes, maybe she was happy to see him. Yes. |
Rene: |
Most
of the children that we see had been sexually abused over a long period of
time and there was a very, very long grooming period whereby the perpetrator
was actually grooming the child and keeping the child emotionally involved
with them. It's kind of a seesaw feeling. Sometimes the child feels good
about the perpetrator. Sometimes the child really hates the perpetrator. |
Ansie: |
[foreign
language] |
Aunt
Marie: |
I
believe that the day he touched that child in that way, the day he raped her
soul and her body, that day he gave up his right to be a father. |
|
I
wish the law would listen! I wish the law would listen to children! And other
people in the same situation would speak up. Then maybe we've got a chance to
get somewhere. Maybe. |
Karien: |
Nowadays,
children are supposed to testify in a separate room through an intermediary
and closed circuit television. This is to keep the child away from the
harshness of a courtroom situation. But since it remains up to the magistrate
to decide whether or not a child would suffer undo emotional and mental
stress, many children still wind up having to testify in court. |
Woman: |
How
long does a court case take? And how long does it usually take before the
court case starts? |
Woman: |
It
can take a couple of months. But after the case starts it can take anything
up to two, three years. |
Woman: |
Oh
gosh. |
Woman: |
It's
a long, long process. |
Karien: |
There
are ad hoc work preparation programmes for children such as at the Teddy Bear
Clinic and the one at the Zamokuhle Clinic in
Soweto. |
Woman: |
That
man that hurt you may say that this did not happen. And he may say that you
both are telling a lie. |
Karien: |
Ironically,
one of the girls had already been to court before coming here. |
Woman: |
[inaudible] |
Karien: |
Did
she see them at the court? |
Harnisha Nathoo: |
Mm-hmm
(affirmative). She did. |
Karien: |
How
many children really have the privilege of knowing what to expect when going
to court? |
Harnisha Nathoo: |
Usually
it's the ones that I've seen in therapy that come. But there's a lot of
children that I don't see that go to court unprepared. |
Dr. Karen M: |
For
me, cross examination is the most important problem. That together with rules
of evidence. We have the cautionary rule. This rule says that when a child
gives evidence, the courts have to be wary of that evidence for a number of
reasons. Children tend to lie. Children tend to fantasise. Children don't
remember. That while there are a whole lot of subcategories, research has
shown that the rule is not based in true findings. Children, there is no
evidence that children fantasise about sexual abuse at all. |
Rene: |
The
child is being cross questioned by a defence attorney who has only got one
thing in mind and that is to help the perpetrator. The types of questions
that is being posed to the child is totally unfair questions. Though the
intermediary is present, she can't change the types of questions. They don't
really understand the child's cognitive functioning. They don't really
understand the child's emotions. |
Dr. Karen M: |
But
it's a physical thing. The left half and right half of your brain only
finally joins when you're ten. And you need to be able to have the join in order
to evaluate. So very often in court, and I've looked at a lot of the
transcripts, when you ask a child why, sometimes they talk nonsense or they
make up something because they're afraid they to answer. But they don't
actually know. |
Cornelia: |
I
testified and I said you know, on Wednesday morning we were having, we were
playing and my son came to me and said to me you know what, Mommy? I got
sodomised. And that's it. Now they ask the child which morning did you tell
mommy you got sodomised? Now I'm asking you. My son is four. Yesterday is
today. Tomorrow could be an hour ago. |
Dr. Karen M: |
They
cannot hop from what happened in the middle and then but on the previous day
didn't you do this? And then you go back to tomorrow. They become completely
confused. And they will give you the incorrect answers. Not because they're
lying. But because you've confused them and they don't quite follow. Cross
examination hops around. |
Cornelia: |
Now
if I had said Wednesday morning at 10 o'clock and he says last week, what
time boy? Afternoon. Out of court. Because he contradicted himself. My word,
his word. There's no truth in it. So he comes the caution thing in. |
Dr. Karen M: |
The
psychological research has shown that children do lie. But they lie in
certain circumstances. They lie when they have to protect somebody. So they
will probably lie to hide things. They'll not lie to get people into trouble. |
Karien: |
A
countless number of children in places of safety are there simply because
they spoke out about their abuse. Would they have lied? They're the ones that
got into trouble. |
Luke: |
I
have an example of a child who I did a court preparation programme with. And
she disclosed they removed her from the family, put her in a place of safety,
arrested the perpetrator, he's out on bail. Her question to me was how come
I'm locked up and he is free? |
Girl: |
[foreign
language] |
Karien: |
This
little girl was raped by her mother's boyfriend. And while he is living with
her mother, she's in a place of safety. |
Girl: |
[foreign
language] |
Lynette
M.: |
[foreign
language] |
Girl: |
[foreign
language] |
Lynette
M.: |
[foreign
language] |
Girl: |
[foreign
language] |
Lynette
M.: |
[foreign
language] |
Girl: |
[foreign
language] |
Luke: |
What
message are we sending the children? We're telling them it's not your fault.
You did nothing wrong. But at the end of the day they feel punished because
they're in an institution where there are 50 other children and they live in
dorms and they've been taken out of their communities. They're not with their
friends anymore. They've had to change schools. They're often in different
suburbs. Often in different parts of the country. |
Woman: |
At
this time [inaudible]. If you don't remove them the community and the
psychologist and the schools, they blame you that you're not doing your work. |
Woman: |
Most
of the kids in here are doing a secondary abuse on them. |
Luke: |
If
we have to introduce child protection which is removing children and
protecting those children from a situation our aim is family reunification.
And I think what we need to be doing is we need to be working together
because you must remember the children can be involved in a whole lot of
systems at the same time. And that's what makes it very complicated. |
Woman: |
Maybe
we're supportive in this room because this is an example. But in real life we
put pressure on one and another, especially the social worker. |
Luke: |
Very
often we are the wounded healers. We are the people who have our own pain and
our own wounds. And our way of actually dealing with it is helping other
people. So instead of going out and hurting other people, we go out and we
try and mend. When the aim of my entire life has to be, been to minimise
other people's pain. And very often that is because I feel a very deep pain myself. |
Karien: |
Childline
has a safe house project in which ordinary people can get involved. They
offer their homes to children in crisis situations where there has to be
intervene for the sake of the child. It's also an effort to prevent children
from being dumped in institutions. |
Gail
J.: |
You
know, normally the stork brings the babies. Here, the Child Protection Unit
does. When I read about the project it made so much sense that someone or the
police or welfare can phone me and I'm here for that child when I'm needed. |
Karien: |
It's
not an easy task, taking care of other people's children. Especially if
they've been traumatised and have behavioural problems. To those involved
it's a calling. |
Mathilda
T.: |
They
said it last year, October I think. Yeah. October. |
Fraser
T.: |
Another
thing is when we are surrounded with the community, actually I would say a
lost generation, one needs to stop talking and do something at a community
level. |
Mathilda
T.: |
So
most of our parents, they don't understand that. They believe a child is a
child who must listen to an adult. If I say take off your pant and lie there,
the child must do exactly that, you know? So gradually we are also empowering
and teaching parents that all of our basically our human rights that must be
respected. As much as the children, they have their rights. And those rights
have to be respected. |
Fraser
T.: |
Because
we know that children, they don't need to be undermined. And children must be
taken serious. |
Boy: |
Mothers
and fathers and children, I want to tell you about Chance. Chance is a place
of safety. We live so nice- |
Karien: |
This
12-year-old boy is reading a letter he wrote himself. He hasn't been going to
school for very long because until recently, before he got removed from home
and placed in Chance, he wasn't allowed to go to school. His stepfather who
also stands accused of physically abusing him said he didn't have the money.
His mother, out of sheer desperation, contacted a social worker for help. And
in an effort to keep the family together, they were given therapy. This
failed and the child was removed. |
Sophia
C.: |
It's
hours and hours that you've got to spend with a family. The child gets
assessed. Then at times when things are very violent, you've got to make an
intervention. And that's time consuming. And the same person doing the family
therapy has also got to attend to the crises that's reported to her on a
daily basis. So it's difficult for the social worker to manage it all. |
Karien: |
How
would you react to that if I say to you, you're physically abusing your
child. |
Man: |
I
would totally disagree because [inaudible] beat him to feel that it is wrong,
what he is doing. |
Karien: |
How
do you see it? |
Woman: |
I
don't agree with him. |
Karien: |
You
don't agree with him? |
Woman: |
Yes. |
Karien: |
Explain? |
Woman: |
Because
the way he used to treat him. A small mistake he will take him. He'll hit
you. He'll give you hiding. He'll make it even worse now. Now even to my
[inaudible] my son was getting worse now because even that hiding made him to
be immune. He didn't feel the pain of the hiding. |
Boy: |
When
I'm naughty just give me a hiding. The belt on my hands. But when he has
drank, he's drunk, just beating me with everything, what he wants. |
Karien: |
Like
what? |
Boy: |
Belt,
bottles, blades, everything. Threw me down on the ground. Left me outside.
Took my clothes. I must go outside. Took my clothes off. Flushed my toys in
the toilet. |
Woman: |
I
found the pain being the mother. So I have to stand up for my son. On top of
that, he never went to school. Now we've got two sons. The other son is going
to school. The other one is not going to school. To me, it was not a surprise
for my son to be naughty. There are so many ways I can help my son. So let me
consult the social workers for them to help my son to go to school. |
Karien: |
Your
mother loves you very much. You know that? Did she tell you why you were
coming to Chance? |
Boy: |
No. |
Karien: |
Do
you know why you are here? |
Boy: |
Yeah.
I thought because my father is beating me. |
Man: |
It
was a way of disciplining which I preliminary started. But now similarly
didn't give a help. |
Boy: |
I
want to learn. I want to be a soldier. If I grow up, to be a doctor.
Everything. And the day I come back there to home I want just to live the way
I lived life. Nice like at Chance. |
Rene: |
My
feeling is that whenever the alleged perpetrator is willing to acknowledge
what they've done, then you can send them for therapy. And once they have
therapy, I will agree on that the child goes back and with therapy. But the
problem is children are being put back with the perpetrator who denies that
they've ever done anything to the child. And I can't give therapy to a person
who doesn't have a problem. |
Boy: |
That
is how life must be. Good respect and good living. At Chance, I live at
Chance too. |
Karien: |
At
Wynberg Court in Cape Town we came across a system that seems to be working,
and working well. It's one of the courts in a pilot project started three
years ago. Here, everything is done to prevent children from experiencing
secondary trauma while going through the criminal justice system. With its
special waiting room, it's the exact opposite of what happens in so many
other court situations. |
Woman: |
We'll
be in a separate room. She will have to testify. You will explain to me the
way you explained to me today. You'll explain to the aunt who is going to be
with you in the room, okay? Is that fine? |
Karien: |
[Afesse Adean] is one of two
prosecutors who chose to be assigned to a courtroom that specialises in
sexual abuse cases. |
Woman: |
Also,
if you can, you can bring a drink or whatever because sometimes this type of
case can take the whole day. |
Karien: |
While
the other prosecutor is in court, she has time to gain her clients' trust. |
Woman: |
We
have the facility that everyone is very patient. So if she feels she doesn't
want to talk, we break. |
Mandy
April: |
And
you probably wondered why I called Jodie a survivor. |
Karien: |
There's
also a full time social worker to support the child through the whole court
process. |
Mandy
April: |
Victims
are the ones who don't make it. Who died. Jodie has survived it. She has
survived sexual assault. And that is empowering in itself. You can write down
the exact impact the abuse has had on you. And the court will listen. And the
court will then use that. Okay? When it comes to sentencing. |
Karien: |
This
court has a conviction rate of 68% which is very high when compared to some
courts with a conviction rate for cases involving children can be as low as
18%. One of the more recent cases involved a primary school teacher who was
also a moderator of a church. He was found guilty for having raped one of his
primary school pupils. |
Woman: |
I
was I would say like everybody very reluctant to make a case because of all
the things happening. The perpetrator gets scot free and the way they treat
the victim. But I can tell you this. They were wonderful at Wynberg. And the
first day she was supposed to give evidence, she just broke down and she
couldn't went on further. And there's a doctor there. And they gave her some
tablets. And afterwards she could have continued with the evidence. They
don't force her and nobody was upset with her. They were very, very helpful
and even the magistrate were very patient with her. |
Karien: |
The
prosecutor of this case now serves on a task team that is working on
expanding the Wynberg sexual offences court on a national basis. That's the
good part. The bad part lies in a very crude and pornographic letter this
teacher had written to other pupils four years earlier. |
|
In
court, he said it was for educational purposes. But in the letter, he told
the girls to watch what he does with his willy under his desk. And offered to
give them practical lessons in sex after school. His words were sickening. |
Lynette
M.: |
The
letter came to the attention of the school at the time. And because he's such
a kind person and such a good man, it was sort of regarded as a bit of a slip
up. He was sent for some therapy. And that was the end of it. Nothing was
ever said or reported about the whole incident. |
Karien: |
Well,
obviously the therapy didn't help, did it? |
Lynette
M.: |
No.
Four years later we have a young child who is indecently assaulted and raped
by him. |
Woman: |
I
want to tell parents she was lucky that we stood by her. And we showed her
lots of love, the whole family. And you know the saddest part, there's still
people in this world that doesn't believe the child! But I can tell you the
perpetrators are very good. They are very good. As long as the people are
afraid or as long as the people is not reporting cases like this, there will
be rapists and abusers. She is still a virgin. Because she didn't give
permission stricken away from her. Because I believe whether you're an adult
or whether you are still a child, if you didn't give consent it was taken
away from you. |
Mandy
April: |
If
we keep quiet about this it is not the survivor that you're protecting.
You're not protecting them at all. You're actually protecting the
perpetrator. Because he gets away with it. And he just goes ahead and moves
onto the next victim. |
Cornelia: |
Why
are we called the most aggressive people in the world? Why have we got so
many problems in this country? I'll tell you why. Because if you start
looking and you start peeling away, you'll find that there are so many abused
people in this country especially that never got help. Because it was a
stigma. It was a terrible thing. Let's not talk about it. Let's hide it.
Because you know it will go away on its own. Well, it doesn't go away. It
stays with you until the day you die. |
Jody's
Mother: |
At
the end the child is going to suffer if you're going to keep it secret.
[inaudible] know about it. [inaudible] know about it. Why if God already
knows about it. And that's why I'm a survivor and I'm proud to be a survivor. |
Woman: |
You
came out. You were brave enough to come out and speak about it. You broke the
silence. And it is really challenging to me as a social worker. |
Karien: |
This
was a masters training workshop for teachers, social workers, and the CPU on
the management of child sexual abuse. Here, young teenagers from a survivor
support group humbled a few adults by helping them to understand what it felt
like for them to be labelled by society. |
Woman: |
Not
happy. |
Woman: |
I
feel dirty. |
Man: |
I
feel no longer a man. |
Woman: |
That's
how we feel. |
Woman: |
This
other social worker, she asked me what did they, how did the guy rape you?
And you must show to me. I mean, I couldn't show her in front of the court.
How did the guy rape me. I couldn't even show her alone. |
Woman: |
The
social worker after told her, "You don't look raped." What does a
raped ... What does that look like? You don't look raped. Yes. |
Woman: |
You
know, I always thought I was the only one that this was happening to. And I
met the girls and the group and all that in July. So now they can relate my
feelings when I'm down. They say I've been there. And like just to know that
they're there is like a lot. |
Woman: |
I
told and nothing was done about it. I spoke to the principal and then I had
to speak to the guidance teacher. I mean, they sent some social workers to my
house. And she told my dad. And then after that it was like nothing had ever
happened. And it hurt because the more I was trying to talk, the more no one
was listening. At least now I've got someone to talk to. I've got a lovely
support group. A peer group. And I'm just glad that they're there because
they're always there no matter what. |
Woman: |
I
feel as a social worker that ... Wait. Wait. That the social worker she's
talking about, I may have been like that because when we go to court and when
we work with children we're not in touch with their feelings. So this
experience, it has empowered me and I feel I'm going to understand better how
they feel. That was tough. |