1 00:02:21:06 00:02:26:02 There's an appalling lackof information about lesbians ...
2 00:02:27:15 00:02:31:01 Society uses us as scare stories ...
3 00:02:31:04 00:02:35:09 ... calling us mannish man-hatersand sexually frustrated bitches ...
4 00:02:35:12 00:02:38:04 ... in order to upholdthe myth of women as ...
5 00:02:46:11 00:02:56:10 HELLO, MY NAME ISLESBIAN
6 00:03:09:19 00:03:14:08 LESBIAN
7 00:03:33:13 00:03:39:24 Ladies, even if the man doesn'tlead you exactly as you want him to -
8 00:03:40:02 00:03:43:23 - even if he doesn't invite youto dance the way you would like ...
9 00:03:44:01 00:03:46:21 - 'She'.- She.
10 00:03:48:03 00:03:51:24 ... it is still the manwho leads.
11 00:03:52:02 00:03:55:18 - You may think he's doing it wrong.- 'She'.
12 00:03:55:21 00:03:58:18 I told you gentlemennot to listen now.
13 00:03:58:21 00:04:01:04 We are all 'shes', for Christ's sake.
14 00:04:02:21 00:04:06:04 Don't forgetto invite your lady closer.
15 00:04:06:07 00:04:09:01 Which one of you is the man?
16 00:04:14:19 00:04:20:00 Many stupidly ask: "Are you the manor the woman in the relationship?"
17 00:04:20:03 00:04:25:10 For me it's about the possibilityof changing roles.
18 00:04:25:13 00:04:30:22 One second you play a certain roleand another the next.
19 00:04:31:00 00:04:37:10 Maybe it's not so much about manor woman or feminine or masculine -
20 00:04:37:13 00:04:40:11 - but more about assuming the rolethat fits you best.
21 00:04:43:14 00:04:46:14 Dykes don't need to live upto anyone's expectations
22 00:04:46:17 00:04:48:20 They can just have fun
23 00:04:48:23 00:04:51:14 Have fun
24 00:04:51:17 00:04:57:03 Dykes can lie in bed drinkingstrawberry shakes all day long
25 00:05:03:23 00:05:07:15 Dykes are free. Dykes onlyhave to ... Dykes are free
26 00:05:07:18 00:05:11:06 Dykes have no obligationsThey just have fun
27 00:05:11:09 00:05:14:06 Dykes have no obligationsDykes are free all day long
28 00:05:25:15 00:05:27:08 Dykes live on honey
29 00:05:27:11 00:05:31:10 They whisper about gold and greenpastures in each other's ears
30 00:05:48:13 00:05:53:04 - I forgot to bring Kleenex.- I have some tissues ...
31 00:05:53:07 00:05:54:22 They'll do just fine.
32 00:05:55:00 00:05:58:24 - Do you normally wear make-up.- I'm the man in our relationship ...
33 00:05:59:02 00:06:03:18 You wear more make-up than me,when we go out, sweetie.
34 00:06:03:21 00:06:07:22 - But how much ...?- I want to look stunning.
35 00:06:08:00 00:06:09:16 - Gorgeous?- Yes.
36 00:06:09:19 00:06:12:10 When Karina and Ihad lived together for a while -
37 00:06:12:13 00:06:17:19 - I realized that I wanted to sharethe rest of my life with her -
38 00:06:17:22 00:06:23:03 - so on Valentine morningI proposed to her in bed.
39 00:06:23:06 00:06:26:05 - Make me look like a million.- No problem.
40 00:06:27:03 00:06:31:01 Luckily she accepted,and then we got engaged.
41 00:06:31:04 00:06:35:11 What do you think, sweetie?Am I not getting mascara at all?
42 00:06:35:14 00:06:38:21 No, we'll leave it off on this day.It'll just come off anyway.
43 00:06:38:24 00:06:43:01 Kidding!Of course you'll be wearing mascara.
44 00:06:43:04 00:06:46:18 - You look beautiful.- We'll do the mascara last.
45 00:06:46:21 00:06:52:24 I think it's easier for two girlsto live together and make it work.
46 00:06:54:21 00:06:59:09 Many men still feel that women cook,and men change flat tyres.
47 00:06:59:12 00:07:03:18 I feel that in a lesbian relationshipwe both change a tyre -
48 00:07:03:21 00:07:08:01 - we both go shopping,and we both clean.
49 00:07:08:04 00:07:11:06 That's what I loveabout being a lesbian.
50 00:07:26:13 00:07:30:09 When Vibeke asked me to marry her,we were in a rather intimate situation.
51 00:07:30:12 00:07:33:07 So, uh ... you know.
52 00:07:35:11 00:07:37:14 She'd put the ring under my pillow -
53 00:07:37:17 00:07:44:11 - and pulled it out after our littleintimate incident and proposed.
54 00:07:44:14 00:07:47:06 A novel approach to proposing.
55 00:08:06:13 00:08:11:08 The clubs were pivotalto us lesbians -
56 00:08:11:11 00:08:15:13 - in the 50s, as they werethe only places we could go.
57 00:08:15:16 00:08:20:19 The atmosphere up to that pointwas one of persecution, almost.
58 00:08:22:05 00:08:25:16 We had to be on our guard.Who knew if it was for good.
59 00:08:25:19 00:08:29:13 The emancipationand not having the police at our heels.
60 00:08:29:16 00:08:35:16 It was a bad thing to be a homosexual.Something to be ashamed of.
61 00:08:35:19 00:08:38:22 Preferably something to be cured of.
62 00:08:42:18 00:08:47:15 Not that they succeeded in that.Thank god.
63 00:08:49:06 00:08:51:01 I don't know why -
64 00:08:51:04 00:08:54:24 - but I've never been open and said:"Hello, my name is lesbian."
65 00:08:59:07 00:09:03:06 I'm not going to come forwardin this program either because ...
66 00:09:03:09 00:09:07:23 To be quite honest,I can't even explain it to myself!
67 00:09:08:01 00:09:15:08 DERAILEDIt's terrible to think about,because it's the influence of society.
68 00:09:15:11 00:09:18:19 Society's ideas of right and wrong.
69 00:09:21:01 00:09:25:11 Pounded into the human mind.
70 00:09:27:24 00:09:31:16 I've never felt ashamed of it.I've always felt -
71 00:09:31:19 00:09:34:21 - that this is my life,for<me> to live, and I have!
72 00:09:38:24 00:09:45:12 Don't ask me how, but at some pointI just realized that I was a lesbian.
73 00:09:45:15 00:09:49:22 Then I met this young woman at work.
74 00:09:50:00 00:09:54:00 We went to a dance in Stengadein what was then called Prater.
75 00:09:54:03 00:09:59:21 We weren't even remotely interestedin any of the men there.
76 00:09:59:24 00:10:02:24 We just sat there giggling.
77 00:10:03:02 00:10:06:14 And I don't remember dancing at all.
78 00:10:08:13 00:10:12:23 We went to my place, and I was stillliving with my parents and ...
79 00:10:13:01 00:10:15:13 ... something happened.
80 00:10:19:14 00:10:21:18 We kissed.
81 00:10:21:21 00:10:24:23 What an odd thing to do.Why did we do that?
82 00:10:25:01 00:10:30:04 I didn't know, but it was wonderful,and I wanted to keep doing it.
83 00:10:30:07 00:10:38:07 And from that day onI knew that I fancied women.
84 00:10:42:02 00:10:46:14 We both felt startledbut also thrilled.
85 00:10:47:18 00:10:55:06 We then started exploringour sexuality in a pretty fumbling way.
86 00:10:56:24 00:11:03:02 But we also wanted to find outif there were others like us.
87 00:11:13:09 00:11:16:13 When we met in the clubs -
88 00:11:16:16 00:11:21:16 - all social classes were mixed.
89 00:11:21:19 00:11:26:07 It wasn't like: This is a clubfor academics and the elite -
90 00:11:26:10 00:11:30:02 - and this oneis for the poor seamstresses.
91 00:11:30:05 00:11:35:08 It wouldn't do any good to get up onyour high horse. We were equals here.
92 00:11:35:11 00:11:41:02 And it was sexualitywe had in common.
93 00:11:41:05 00:11:44:20 That wasour common denominator.
94 00:11:50:06 00:11:56:00 As I was so youngit was a time of fun and games.
95 00:11:56:03 00:12:02:09 Going out, dating, flirting, dancing -
96 00:12:02:12 00:12:05:13 - and just having fun.
97 00:12:05:16 00:12:09:02 It often brought about jealousy fits -
98 00:12:09:05 00:12:16:06 - and many broke up, becausewe'd steal each other's women.
99 00:12:16:09 00:12:20:14 You're not supposed to laugh at that,but we actually did.
100 00:12:21:17 00:12:26:22 Our world is a small one.And it's like I always say: We recycle.
101 00:12:27:00 00:12:28:23 We just have to accept that.
102 00:12:29:01 00:12:33:12 And we also have to accept showingup even right after a breakup.
103 00:12:33:15 00:12:37:09 Even when someone's taken off withyour girlfriend, you have to go back -
104 00:12:37:12 00:12:40:20 - if you don't wantto end up all alone.
105 00:12:43:06 00:12:50:13 But Copenhagen was very differentfrom the rest of Denmark.
106 00:12:50:16 00:12:55:07 In Copenhagen it was easier to hideor blend in.
107 00:12:55:10 00:13:01:08 Coming out in the provincescan't have been much fun.
108 00:13:43:16 00:13:48:01 A 14-year-old girl may write to us:
109 00:13:48:04 00:13:53:15 "Thank you for being open about itand doing what you do.
110 00:13:53:18 00:13:58:10 You have inspired me and given methe strength to come out."
111 00:14:05:12 00:14:07:11 I just know -
112 00:14:07:14 00:14:12:09 - that if we carry on with our missionin nightclub after nightclub -
113 00:14:12:12 00:14:16:23 - for years and years, the generationattending these events -
114 00:14:17:01 00:14:19:14 - will become very differentfrom their parents.
115 00:14:41:10 00:14:45:16 That's the strugglewe've taken on the road.
116 00:14:47:19 00:14:51:24 To make it normal to be a lesbian.It shouldn't inhibit you in life -
117 00:14:52:02 00:14:54:15 - nor is it a lifestyleto be ridiculed.
118 00:14:54:18 00:14:58:22 It's a love tour.A tour of inspiration.
119 00:15:10:06 00:15:16:00 The reason why it's important for meto tell my story is my background.
120 00:15:16:03 00:15:21:19 I'm from a Muslim familywhere lesbianism is taboo.
121 00:15:29:07 00:15:32:17 My family handled itbetter than most -
122 00:15:32:20 00:15:35:21 - but it's been toughas I can't be who I really am.
123 00:15:35:24 00:15:42:00 I can't tell my uncles, cousins,aunts or my grandmothers.
124 00:15:42:03 00:15:45:09 I must be the Ena they know.The one who goes to school -
125 00:15:45:12 00:15:49:20 - who'll have a child by a Muslimman, and preferably before I'm 21 -
126 00:15:49:23 00:15:54:21 - will get marriedand lead a conventional Muslim life.
127 00:16:03:08 00:16:08:01 It's a very hard struggle, and it hasforced me to lead a double life.
128 00:16:08:04 00:16:12:19 One life for myself,and another for my family.
129 00:16:16:17 00:16:22:18 It was around the time when I becamea model. My world expanded.
130 00:16:22:21 00:16:27:00 I met artists, musicians,fashion people and photographers.
131 00:16:27:03 00:16:34:01 And I was this teenager with lousyself-confidence and low self-esteem.
132 00:16:34:04 00:16:39:14 So my way of getting people to like mewas by giving them what they wanted.
133 00:16:43:15 00:16:49:17 Camilla was the first personto ever see right through all that.
134 00:16:49:20 00:16:54:18 She pulled me apart bit by bitbecause she saw potential in me.
135 00:16:54:21 00:17:01:10 She sensed the real me underthe layers of shields I hid behind.
136 00:17:01:13 00:17:09:09 This enabled me to rid myselfof the self-destructive patterns -
137 00:17:09:12 00:17:13:08 - and start discoveringthe essence of 'me'.
138 00:17:21:17 00:17:25:22 Many who decide to come outchoose to do things outside the norm -
139 00:17:26:00 00:17:29:22 - such as dropping out of schoolor making a new life for themselves.
140 00:17:30:00 00:17:35:10 And you can sense your parentsawakening to the task -
141 00:17:35:13 00:17:39:08 - of having to figure out thisperson, who is constantly changing.
142 00:17:39:11 00:17:42:00 Who isn'twhom they thought she was.
143 00:17:42:03 00:17:47:05 "What about kids?", my dad yelled."Children and family?"
144 00:17:47:08 00:17:52:01 Hello!? We<can> have children.This is Denmark.
145 00:17:52:04 00:17:56:14 That really isn't a problem, but whatwas he to tell the whole family?
146 00:17:56:17 00:18:00:12 That Ena had dropped out, andthat he didn't know what she's doing?
147 00:18:00:15 00:18:04:07 Something with music,and she's dating a woman -
148 00:18:04:10 00:18:07:21 - and living in a garagein Copenhagen.
149 00:18:07:24 00:18:11:18 These aren't things that make himproud, and I sense that from him.
150 00:18:11:21 00:18:15:12 I don't think he's proud of me. Andwhat am I supposed to do with that?
151 00:18:15:15 00:18:18:24 I have every reasonto be proud of myself.
152 00:18:28:10 00:18:31:15 Ready to feed the horse?
153 00:18:33:16 00:18:37:16 'Feed the Horse' is a tributeto the love Kamilla and I have -
154 00:18:37:19 00:18:41:00 - for the way in which we havesexual relations, so to speak.
155 00:18:41:03 00:18:46:11 And it's a song that speaksto both boys and girls.
156 00:18:49:03 00:18:54:10 We've also had straight girls saying:"Thanks, that was an ice-breaker -
157 00:18:54:13 00:18:57:23 - that gave me a chance to talk tomy boyfriend about touching Ponani.
158 00:18:58:01 00:19:02:15 To be more gentle.Loving touch. Loving touch.
159 00:19:12:14 00:19:16:10 And then there are those who getall stand-offish: "This is crap!"
160 00:19:17:18 00:19:21:07 "They're just making a publicity stuntout of being lesbians.
161 00:19:21:10 00:19:24:24 They have no message whatsoever.They just want to sell records."
162 00:19:25:02 00:19:29:16 Of course it's great promotion.I don't deny that, why should I?
163 00:19:29:19 00:19:33:04 But we do have a message,you know?
164 00:20:10:15 00:20:13:13 A lesbian is fat.
165 00:20:13:16 00:20:15:11 Somewhat mannish.
166 00:20:15:14 00:20:19:03 A lesbian?Hm ... they have all kinds of looks.
167 00:20:19:06 00:20:23:18 Short hair, perhaps?Muscular?
168 00:20:23:21 00:20:27:12 - Certainly butch.- Uhm ... a lesbian?
169 00:20:27:15 00:20:30:07 If you're 'femme' you may havelong hair and wear jewellery.
170 00:20:30:10 00:20:33:16 Not wearing a bra.
171 00:20:33:19 00:20:36:15 Crew cuts, tattoosand heels.
172 00:20:36:18 00:20:40:10 And maybe a hint of a moustache.
173 00:20:46:09 00:20:54:09 I'm a lesbian how 'bout youare you hiding or open too
174 00:20:54:12 00:21:01:07 Does everybody still believeyou will marry and conceive
175 00:21:01:10 00:21:08:04 Married off, kids on displaynever saying you are gay
176 00:21:08:07 00:21:16:16 Oh oh oh say that you are lesbian
177 00:21:16:19 00:21:23:01 I wanted to check it out, so I hoppedon my blue moped and left for Femø.
178 00:21:23:04 00:21:30:09 We will not accept to playheteros every single day
179 00:21:30:12 00:21:36:11 On Femø I discoveredthat I was a lesbian. 100%.
180 00:21:36:14 00:21:40:12 Because there wereway too many gorgeous ladies.
181 00:21:40:15 00:21:48:06 ... grandkids aren't in the cards?Oh oh oh ...
182 00:21:48:09 00:21:52:09 I had a little purse with an eyelinerand a Moroccan mirror -
183 00:21:52:12 00:21:56:01 - and one morningas we were applying it, someone said:
184 00:21:56:04 00:22:02:02 "Put that away! Put it away!We don't use that here. Get rid of it!"
185 00:22:03:13 00:22:09:06 That's how it was! And I remembera young girl who had her hair cut off.
186 00:22:09:09 00:22:14:04 That affected me, becauseI had never thought about that.
187 00:22:14:07 00:22:19:13 That long hair was oppressive. It wasshocking to see them cutting her hair -
188 00:22:19:16 00:22:22:20 - because I found her so gorgeouswith the long hair.
189 00:22:22:23 00:22:29:04 Then she looked like everybody else.And they were all cheering.
190 00:22:29:07 00:22:31:09 I found it eerie.
191 00:22:34:13 00:22:39:18 If you want to eradicate a femininitythat is oppressive -
192 00:22:39:21 00:22:45:00 - then you have to get ridof the external expressions of that.
193 00:22:45:03 00:22:48:23 And that is, among other things,the long hair.
194 00:22:51:02 00:22:57:15 The powerful thing about Femøwas meeting all the radical lesbians.
195 00:22:57:18 00:23:02:09 The ones who believed inkilling off the male species -
196 00:23:02:12 00:23:07:13 - except for a small group who wouldbe kept for sperm production.
197 00:23:07:16 00:23:10:00 We couldn't do virgin births, so ...
198 00:23:10:03 00:23:16:15 It was very militaristic, but alsofascinating to meet people like that.
199 00:23:16:18 00:23:22:22 We are strong we are prettywe are many who love each other
200 00:23:23:00 00:23:29:17 There are more of us than you knowand look at us, here we go
201 00:23:29:20 00:23:34:09 Daring to be that extreme.Daring to ...
202 00:23:34:12 00:23:41:17 ... politicize gender,identity and personality.
203 00:23:46:12 00:23:51:06 Women didn't have to be feminine.Women could be androgynous -
204 00:23:51:09 00:23:56:23 - borderline masculineand still be women.
205 00:23:57:01 00:24:00:06 I found that incredibly fascinating.
206 00:24:04:02 00:24:10:16 We are the homosexual women
207 00:24:10:19 00:24:18:18 We are the homosexual women
208 00:24:18:21 00:24:25:15 All of you just stare at usAs if we were so different from you
209 00:24:25:18 00:24:29:20 a peculiar monstera peculiar monster
210 00:24:31:10 00:24:39:00 We are the homosexual women
211 00:24:39:03 00:24:43:07 We are the homosexual women
212 00:25:10:23 00:25:15:15 When you livein a heterosexual world -
213 00:25:15:18 00:25:22:05 - and as a lesbian, does like 'them',such as having a child by a man -
214 00:25:22:08 00:25:26:21 - then it's okay, because it'sclose to what everyone knows.
215 00:25:26:24 00:25:33:08 But if you choose an anonymousdonor, like we've done -
216 00:25:33:11 00:25:38:01 - people have a hard time with it,at least if they don't know us.
217 00:25:38:04 00:25:40:11 Once they've met us, they go:'Oh, sure'.
218 00:25:40:14 00:25:43:17 I don't want to have to defendthe family I have chosen.
219 00:25:43:20 00:25:49:20 I made a choice that some agree withand some don't, and that's just fine.
220 00:25:51:03 00:25:54:19 Stine and I wantedto have children together.
221 00:25:54:22 00:25:58:02 We weren't interestedin having children with anybody else.
222 00:25:58:05 00:26:00:18 But obviously,we couldn't have it both ways.
223 00:26:00:21 00:26:05:19 So we chose a way that came closestto us having children together.
224 00:26:07:22 00:26:10:08 And we have the most amazing donor.
225 00:26:10:11 00:26:16:02 We became pregnantin the first attempt all three times.
226 00:26:16:05 00:26:22:12 It's the same donor for all three kids.He must be world class.
227 00:26:22:15 00:26:26:14 - Lucky punches, perhaps?- Super fertility!
228 00:26:26:17 00:26:28:22 We're a great combination.
229 00:26:30:15 00:26:35:24 I've had the pleasure of giving birthto Lauge and Isolde.
230 00:26:36:02 00:26:38:17 And I gave birth to Jos.
231 00:26:39:22 00:26:44:10 And our children are very beautiful.And smart!
232 00:26:49:12 00:26:53:24 - What do you say?- Cheese!
233 00:26:54:02 00:26:58:13 - Cheese!- Tivoli!
234 00:27:01:22 00:27:06:06 The children have always knownwhere they came from.
235 00:27:06:09 00:27:09:01 We told themthey came on a spaceship.
236 00:27:13:02 00:27:15:05 With little green men.
237 00:27:17:19 00:27:21:01 The whole banal story -
238 00:27:21:04 00:27:27:09 - of coming into this worldfrom an egg and a sperm cell.
239 00:27:27:12 00:27:31:09 And as we're two womenand very much wanted them -
240 00:27:31:12 00:27:34:09 - we had to see the doctorto get the sperm cells.
241 00:27:34:12 00:27:37:05 They came with the stork.
242 00:27:39:03 00:27:42:12 And the sperm cell comes from a manthat we call a donor.
243 00:27:42:15 00:27:45:08 But he's not a dad.There is no man in our family.
244 00:27:45:11 00:27:48:17 If there had been,we would have a dad, but there isn't.
245 00:27:48:20 00:27:52:05 And they understand that.
246 00:28:12:00 00:28:19:05 I think we have an easier timethan most heterosexual couples.
247 00:28:19:08 00:28:24:13 We're free of all the dogmasabout gender roles -
248 00:28:24:16 00:28:32:15 - about expectations, not just betweenthe two of us but from our families.
249 00:28:32:18 00:28:35:12 Mother in-law, father in-law etc.
250 00:28:35:15 00:28:43:17 It's a circus at times,and more so when you have children.
251 00:28:47:10 00:28:51:20 And then the images the children getof what a man is and what a woman is.
252 00:28:51:23 00:28:58:04 Our children are probably morenuanced in their approach to gender.
253 00:28:58:07 00:29:00:21 At least I hope so.
254 00:29:00:24 00:29:04:11 - Will you wrap the card as well?- Yes.
255 00:29:06:13 00:29:09:19 Are fixing a tyre and making a firestrictly male virtues?
256 00:29:09:22 00:29:16:07 Why should they have an exclusiveright to that? If so, we're covered.
257 00:29:16:10 00:29:18:24 We sure are.
258 00:29:24:01 00:29:27:22 But the factthat we don't live up to the norms -
259 00:29:28:00 00:29:30:07 - will hopefully meanthat our children -
260 00:29:30:10 00:29:37:22 - will have more elbow roomand a bigger playing field.
261 00:29:38:00 00:29:42:06 Have more freedom in regardto being a boy or a girl -
262 00:29:42:09 00:29:46:04 - and in how you live your life.There are so many different ways!
263 00:30:18:20 00:30:23:00 If girlfriends aren't too far between,then everything is new.
264 00:30:24:06 00:30:28:21 I mean, if you break up with someone,being alone is new.
265 00:30:28:24 00:30:32:09 Then I have to get used to that.And get used to a new girlfriend.
266 00:30:37:00 00:30:42:08 One of the advantages isthat sexuality never dies.
267 00:30:42:11 00:30:47:20 Like the lesbian 'bed-death',everyone's talking about.
268 00:30:47:23 00:30:51:14 I can see how that might happen,but not to me.
269 00:30:54:21 00:30:57:07 Well, maybe.
270 00:31:00:18 00:31:04:12 So, it constantly alternatesbetween different 'lives'.
271 00:31:04:15 00:31:08:21 I'll never be a routine person.
272 00:31:10:16 00:31:16:01 Maybe it's because I've always beena city person more than anything else.
273 00:31:16:04 00:31:23:10 I never had any children to take careof, so time-wise I could afford to.
274 00:32:02:08 00:32:08:21 The mainstream homo environmentis all about feathers and lousy music.
275 00:32:11:05 00:32:14:12 The only reason for being thereis that you're a lesbian.
276 00:32:14:15 00:32:20:17 It's insane. I only goso I can have sex now and then.
277 00:32:28:16 00:32:32:24 I think something has appearedwithin the lesbian environment -
278 00:32:33:02 00:32:37:07 - and the homo environment thatI find it much easier to identify with.
279 00:32:42:20 00:32:47:06 Homos and heteros and queersand men in women's attire -
280 00:32:47:09 00:32:50:04 - and women in men's attire.
281 00:32:52:00 00:32:55:21 I like it when it's mixed upand played around with.
282 00:33:00:19 00:33:03:21 But I love being a lesbian.I think it's fun.
283 00:33:03:24 00:33:06:24 I love women.They're amazing.
284 00:33:09:12 00:33:11:14 Pretty!
285 00:33:39:11 00:33:42:00 Dammit!
286 00:33:46:12 00:33:52:17 Changing partners provides a certainvariation, but it's also tough.
287 00:33:52:20 00:33:55:12 Each breakup.
288 00:33:57:11 00:33:59:14 It cuts into your heart.
289 00:33:59:17 00:34:04:06 I mean, you don't carefor someone just for the hell of it.
290 00:34:07:05 00:34:10:22 And another thing about lifeas a single or life as a lesbian ...
291 00:34:11:00 00:34:13:11 Not having your own family.
292 00:34:13:14 00:34:17:08 When you're single,you're suddenly very single.
293 00:34:17:11 00:34:20:14 You're very much alone.
294 00:34:21:19 00:34:26:07 The freedom may feel sort of emptyif it isn't used for something.
295 00:34:26:10 00:34:30:07 If you had 4 kids to take care of -
296 00:34:30:10 00:34:36:06 - there wouldn't be time to worryabout feeling lonely or not.
297 00:34:36:09 00:34:40:07 You need to plan ahead,nice vacations.
298 00:34:40:10 00:34:44:20 Travellingand taking up Spanish perhaps.
299 00:34:47:05 00:34:49:00 Or lesbian couple dancing.
300 00:35:56:17 00:35:58:18 - I love you.- I love you, too.
301 00:36:17:07 00:36:23:06 Karina and I met at Lobito one nightwhere we talked a little.
302 00:36:23:09 00:36:26:22 But I didn't really take it seriouslybecause she seemed so young.
303 00:36:27:00 00:36:29:10 We did exchange phone numbers,though.
304 00:36:30:07 00:36:38:08 We started texting each other and thenchatted on MSN with the web cam.
305 00:36:38:11 00:36:41:20 I went into townlooking all around for you
306 00:36:41:23 00:36:44:06 We got naughty and seductive online.
307 00:36:44:09 00:36:48:21 And then I saw you in the crowdlooking straight at me
308 00:36:48:24 00:36:53:14 Flirting messages that eventuallyhad us meeting several times.
309 00:36:53:17 00:36:59:17 ... cause you're beautiful and lovely
310 00:36:59:20 00:37:05:10 Your eyes are sending sparksso you'd better watch your step
311 00:37:08:02 00:37:12:19 Watch your stepso no one catches fire
312 00:37:22:09 00:37:26:17 When I'm downtownI have my arm around my girlfriend -
313 00:37:26:20 00:37:31:13 - and I hold her hand,not worrying what others might think.
314 00:37:31:16 00:37:36:08 It's my life and my sexuality,and I love my life.
315 00:37:36:11 00:37:43:10 And those who want to be my friendsmust respect me for who I am -
316 00:37:43:13 00:37:47:22 - and if they can't,then that's their problem.
317 00:37:53:03 00:37:56:22 I would never get married at city hall.
318 00:37:57:00 00:38:00:04 For me, it's mainly aboutthe clerical blessing.
319 00:38:03:11 00:38:12:06 And feeling like I get acceptancefrom above, and that this is okay.
320 00:38:12:09 00:38:15:09 That means the world to me.
321 00:38:19:14 00:38:24:11 To me, marriage meanshaving an even greater emotional tie -
322 00:38:24:14 00:38:29:07 - to the person you've chosen. Manyquestion whether a piece of paper -
323 00:38:29:10 00:38:35:14 - makes a difference, and to meit signifies entering a new phase.
324 00:38:35:17 00:38:38:04 It involves greater responsibilities.
325 00:38:38:07 00:38:41:14 You have chosen love.You just know that it's right.
326 00:39:02:06 00:39:05:20 Many Danes think they're liberal -
327 00:39:05:23 00:39:08:14 - but in actuality,that only applies -
328 00:39:08:17 00:39:13:05 - towards thosewho fit the heterosexual norm.
329 00:39:13:08 00:39:16:00 When we walk togetherthey may think we're friends.
330 00:39:16:03 00:39:20:07 We can easily have our arms aroundeach other 'cause girls do that.
331 00:39:20:10 00:39:25:22 But if we start kissing or somethinglike that ... people will stare.
332 00:39:27:01 00:39:33:22 They gawk, and especiallyif we walk alongside three children.
333 00:39:34:00 00:39:36:19 And I can't handle that.
334 00:39:36:22 00:39:41:22 I want to protect the most valuableI have which is my love for my wife -
335 00:39:42:00 00:39:47:04 - so of course it makes a differenceto know that we may get harassed -
336 00:39:47:07 00:39:49:24 - and that there may be peoplewho find it offensive -
337 00:39:50:02 00:39:53:21 - and I don't ever want to bein a situation like that, so ...
338 00:39:53:24 00:39:56:24 ... in public places I do take care -
339 00:39:57:02 00:40:00:00 - not to put my sexuality on display -
340 00:40:00:03 00:40:05:08 - and not be too obviousabout my love for another woman.
341 00:40:05:11 00:40:14:00 This symbol signifies the LesbianMovement, lesbian love.
342 00:40:14:03 00:40:18:14 And what I like about it is that I'mnever mistaken for a heterosexual.
343 00:40:18:17 00:40:22:08 I can't stand it when they sayMs. and Mrs. all the time -
344 00:40:22:11 00:40:25:18 - and constantly refer me to a man,which I can't stand either.
345 00:40:25:21 00:40:29:23 And I find it hard to say that if theydon't stop I won't shop there.
346 00:41:02:04 00:41:05:14 Being a lesbian meansyou're on the outside.
347 00:41:05:17 00:41:12:15 But there are two ways of approachingbeing a minority, being a lesbian.
348 00:41:18:01 00:41:24:16 You can choose to try to adaptto heterosexual society -
349 00:41:24:19 00:41:29:04 - or you can choose to say:I won't be assimilated.
350 00:41:29:07 00:41:35:03 I want to be butch and have sexwith 17 women a week.
351 00:41:37:15 00:41:41:08 The Queer approachto a minority struggle -
352 00:41:41:11 00:41:44:24 - or to the dissolving of the genderis to try to break the boundaries -
353 00:41:45:02 00:41:54:01 - or expand them instead of seekingacceptance as something different.
354 00:41:58:15 00:42:04:23 The Queer environment in Denmark isa result of a movement that go back -
355 00:42:05:01 00:42:10:02 - and a university theory that wasdeveloped in the US in particular.
356 00:42:10:05 00:42:15:01 You can't tell that a Queer is a Queer,because it's all inside the mind.
357 00:42:21:06 00:42:26:10 At the annual Queer festivalwe get this little one-week utopia -
358 00:42:26:13 00:42:34:12 - where all these people walk aroundlooking very different and strange.
359 00:42:34:15 00:42:37:05 With some,it's hard to tell their gender.
360 00:42:37:08 00:42:40:07 So you no longer say 'he' or 'she'.
361 00:42:43:05 00:42:50:14 It is a gender and sexuality vacuumfor seven days -
362 00:42:50:17 00:42:54:24 - that actually feels likemore than just an idea -
363 00:42:55:02 00:42:58:21 - as it is realized inside people'sminds, and when they come together -
364 00:42:58:24 00:43:04:13 - it no longer stays in our mindsbut is brought out among us -
365 00:43:04:16 00:43:08:00 - creating this little genuine utopia.
366 00:43:10:19 00:43:16:18 I'd say it is people who experimentwith their gender or sexuality -
367 00:43:16:21 00:43:20:06 - that you would call Queer.
368 00:43:23:20 00:43:29:07 My sexuality has expanded.I can be with women in different ways.
369 00:43:29:10 00:43:35:04 I can be with men without gettingcaught in the heterosexual box.
370 00:43:35:07 00:43:40:11 Like, if I'm with a man,I often imagine that I'm gay.
371 00:43:41:17 00:43:44:14 I feel more comfortablein the role of a gay man.
372 00:43:44:17 00:43:49:07 I think I have sex like a gay man.
373 00:43:49:10 00:43:53:01 I feel I desire men like gay men do.
374 00:43:57:02 00:44:01:15 If I'm with a woman,I feel very feminine.
375 00:44:01:18 00:44:07:18 It gives me this very feminine feelingto have sex with a woman.
376 00:44:18:02 00:44:23:00 I love the idea of usgetting to a place where everyone -
377 00:44:23:03 00:44:25:11 - can be exactly who they want to be.
378 00:44:25:14 00:44:31:17 Where you don't have to chooseone of two gender roles -
379 00:44:31:20 00:44:37:09 - that are very rigid,and that you must fit into.
380 00:44:52:23 00:44:55:17 What a Queer is?
381 00:44:57:18 00:45:01:01 I guess it's ...It's impossible to answer that.
382 00:45:46:06 00:45:53:23 This, the Candy Lover, is like a treatfor those with a lesbian lifestyle.
383 00:45:54:01 00:45:56:23 Because you can penetrateeach other simultaneously.
384 00:45:57:01 00:46:03:10 And these are dildos you use witha harness to penetrate each other.
385 00:46:05:12 00:46:10:11 There are many lesbians who liketo be filled, so it's really cool -
386 00:46:10:14 00:46:13:22 - that we get to chooseif we want the red slim model -
387 00:46:14:00 00:46:18:10 - or the more true to nature versionin a lovely skin colour -
388 00:46:18:13 00:46:22:03 - or the big dildomade of mother-of-pearl.
389 00:46:22:06 00:46:25:07 Then there's the extensionof the clitoris vibrator -
390 00:46:25:10 00:46:28:15 - which is a dildoand clitoris vibrator.
391 00:46:28:18 00:46:30:16 It has various functions.
392 00:46:30:19 00:46:35:10 Many of our products are madefrom silicone, which is eco based.
393 00:46:35:13 00:46:42:22 And they have this nice filmthat really enhances the surface.
394 00:46:44:20 00:46:50:10 Before lesbians brought all these aidsinto bed with them -
395 00:46:50:13 00:46:53:09 - it was all fingers,rubbing and lips.
396 00:46:53:12 00:46:56:06 And this is the case for mosteveryone else as well -
397 00:46:56:09 00:46:58:16 - but lesbians in particularlove to rub.
398 00:48:00:06 00:48:04:18 There was this large group of womenwho were against penetration.
399 00:48:04:21 00:48:10:12 Anything inside the pussywas unacceptable.
400 00:48:10:15 00:48:14:08 Dildos and stuff like thatwere definite taboos in those days.
401 00:48:14:11 00:48:18:11 I am a pussy fixated missus
402 00:48:18:14 00:48:22:10 We had masturbation groups on Femøand at the Nordic camps -
403 00:48:22:13 00:48:25:11 - and it was excitingto meet other Nordic women -
404 00:48:25:14 00:48:29:05 - and learn whether they masturbatedlike us here in Denmark.
405 00:48:29:08 00:48:34:01 So we'd be masturbating in herds.
406 00:48:37:02 00:48:42:15 You couldn't have just one girlfriend.There were beautiful women all over.
407 00:48:42:18 00:48:46:10 You kept meeting new onesyou wanted to be with.
408 00:48:46:13 00:48:50:18 You couldn't commit to just one.That was the sign of the times.
409 00:48:50:21 00:48:53:19 We have become extremely close.
410 00:48:53:22 00:49:00:02 I mean, I've seen the uterusof most women I know.
411 00:49:00:05 00:49:05:18 Lying there with speculums -
412 00:49:05:21 00:49:08:22 - looking at each other'scervixes and uteri.
413 00:49:09:00 00:49:17:15 They were lined up, and we all hada look: Oh, that's what it looks like.
414 00:49:17:18 00:49:21:08 You obviously grow fond of each otherafter an experience like that.
415 00:49:24:11 00:49:28:09 We were friends as well as lovers,and that's what I find so beautiful.
416 00:49:28:12 00:49:31:04 - Well, that isn't a couple.- No, it was an affair.
417 00:49:31:07 00:49:36:15 - We slept with friends.- Yes, to get to know them better.
418 00:49:36:18 00:49:41:02 'I'd like to get to know you better,why don't we sleep together?'
419 00:49:41:05 00:49:43:04 And then we became friends.
420 00:49:43:07 00:49:47:06 I did quite a lot of that myself.
421 00:49:48:21 00:49:53:12 But I feel it did create problems, too.I really do.
422 00:49:53:15 00:49:58:09 It ruined relationships, because it wasimpossible to embrace. You tried ...
423 00:49:58:12 00:50:04:14 I am a pussy fixated missusa pussy fixated missus
424 00:50:04:17 00:50:08:12 Yodel-ei-dio
425 00:50:08:15 00:50:14:00 A pussy fixated missuspussy fixated missus
426 00:50:14:03 00:50:18:04 Yodel-ei-dio
427 00:50:55:06 00:51:01:02 I would love to try somethingthat lasted a little longer.
428 00:51:01:05 00:51:05:01 So that we could dosome sort of project together.
429 00:51:07:19 00:51:09:23 Build a house.
430 00:51:10:01 00:51:12:21 Then everybody goes:Oh, you want to nest and ...
431 00:51:12:24 00:51:16:01 No, it doesn't have to haveanything to do with that.
432 00:51:16:04 00:51:21:09 It's just a matter of thinkingalong the lines of future prospects.
433 00:51:21:12 00:51:25:13 People are so scared of the 'future',but you can always just drop it.
434 00:51:25:16 00:51:32:19 Do something! Take a chance.You can always walk away.
435 00:51:39:22 00:51:45:17 I do believe I fell in love againthe first time I saw you
436 00:51:45:20 00:51:53:09 I do believe that fate has againdone what it's supposed to do
437 00:51:53:12 00:52:01:03 It happened in a blink of an eyelike a bolt of lightning from the sky
438 00:52:01:06 00:52:07:00 Struck me as hard as she couldI will keep her close for good
439 00:52:07:03 00:52:14:14 A lovely girl is in my lifea lovely girl is now my wife
440 00:52:14:17 00:52:21:23 You bring such light into my dayAnd in my heart you'll always stay
441 00:52:22:01 00:52:25:21 A lovely girl, how could I know ...
442 00:52:27:19 00:52:34:01 A typical lesbian?A typical lesbian ...
443 00:52:36:06 00:52:40:12 What is a typical lesbian like?What does that question even mean?