[00:12:41:08]   

It's hard to answer
a question like that...

[00:12:45:11]

[00:12:46:07]   

It was nice for me.

[00:12:49:16]

[00:12:54:13]   

Did they catch you
and force you into the army...

[00:12:59:05]

[00:12:59:17]   

...or did you volunteer?

[00:13:04:10]

[00:13:13:12]   

It's a hard question, that one.
Because people will see me.

[00:13:19:09]

[00:13:22:08]   

I just went to the army.
I was too small, but I went.

[00:13:27:05]

[00:13:27:07]   

I don't have anything bad
to say about the war.

[00:13:31:19]

[00:13:31:21]   

The things I know... I was in the war,
I fought, I went home... Finished!

[00:13:36:08]

[00:13:36:10]   

No one was bad to me.
Everyone was good to me.

[00:13:40:14]

[00:13:40:16]   

I loved it.

[00:13:42:18]

[00:13:42:20]   

After the end... I enjoyed the war,
I liked to fight, I liked to fire.

[00:13:47:16]

[00:13:47:18]   

For me, it was...
I loved it. The war was good.

[00:13:52:06]

[00:13:52:08]   

The chief always told me, 'Patrick,
you see how things really are.'

[00:13:55:19]

[00:13:55:21]   

When it's a big fight,
it looks like a party, man.

[00:14:00:08]

[00:14:00:10]   

It's nothing.

[00:14:03:07]

[00:14:38:21]   

Were you scared? The first day?

[00:14:42:10]

[00:14:42:12]   

The first day? Yes, I was shit scared.

[00:14:45:21]

[00:14:45:23]   

The first bullet from the enemy
hit my friend straight in the head.

[00:14:50:21]

[00:14:50:23]   

In here, and out here. I immediately
understood that it would lead to death.

[00:14:56:21]

[00:14:56:23]   

Afterwards, in Cangamba, Savimbi said-

[00:14:59:16]

[00:14:59:18]   

-that he gave orders to retreat,
to later capture the whole of Cangamba.

[00:15:03:01]

[00:15:03:03]   

8,000 men left and went there.

[00:15:06:12]

[00:15:06:14]   

On the first day, 1,100 men died.
Just on the first day.

[00:15:11:17]

[00:15:11:19]   

In the first battle alone,
1,100 men died.

[00:15:16:09]

[00:15:16:11]   

And that battle continued
for eleven days.

[00:15:21:04]

[00:15:21:23]   

A great many of us died.

[00:15:24:20]

[00:15:24:22]   

When Savimbi gave orders to retreat,
only 600 of us were alive.

[00:15:29:02]

[00:15:29:04]   

I got hit here...

[00:15:33:19]

[00:15:33:21]   

...and another bullet hit me here.
Right here.

[00:15:40:06]

[00:15:40:08]   

Another one hit me here. Here...

[00:15:45:03]

[00:15:46:04]   

After being recruited by the UNITA, did
you hear anything about your parents?

[00:15:49:12]

[00:15:49:14]   

No, after they took me in 1980
I never saw my family again.

[00:15:53:24]

[00:15:54:01]   

It wasn't until 1983...

[00:15:57:18]

[00:15:57:20]   

...when I was in Mavinga
and my cousin came to me and said...

[00:16:04:23]

[00:16:05:00]   

'Your mother and father died,
your brothers died, and all the kids.'

[00:16:10:24]

[00:16:11:01]   

'We're the only ones left.'

[00:16:13:12]

[00:16:16:12]   

I was forcefully recruited
by the UNITA in 1980-

[00:16:19:16]

[00:16:19:18]   

-and served with them
until the 1990s.

[00:16:23:12]

[00:16:23:14]   

Everything I saw during those years
was horrible.

[00:16:28:20]

[00:16:28:22]   

It was all death and people suffering.

[00:16:34:15]

[00:16:36:08]   

In war, you don't sleep. You don't
take off your pants or your shirt.

[00:16:40:23]

[00:16:41:00]   

You sleep like a goat in the bush.
You know that at any moment-

[00:16:45:23]

[00:16:46:00]   

-your enemy can attack,
and if you don't run, you're dead.

[00:16:50:19]

[00:16:50:21]   

When you see hundreds of people die
around you every day, you die inside.

[00:16:55:09]

[00:16:59:19]   

All those years in the bush...
Our lives wasted away.

[00:17:04:07]

[00:17:04:09]   

You had nothing -
no shoes, no salt, nothing.

[00:17:09:15]

[00:17:09:17]   

You eat sand,
you sleep badly on the grass...

[00:17:16:06]

[00:17:16:08]   

That type of life, no...

[00:17:18:24]

[00:17:19:01]   

When we could have had a nice life,
like other people.

[00:17:26:13]

[00:17:28:05]   

The first time we visited
Samuel's village...

[00:17:31:12]

[00:17:31:14]   

...everybody ran into the bush. Why?

[00:17:35:00]

[00:17:35:02]   

Because people still don't understand
that the war is over.

[00:17:40:23]

[00:17:41:00]   

It's sad that people still think
that there's a war.

[00:17:45:08]

[00:17:45:10]   

They still think that UNITA supporters
are killed in Angola-

[00:17:49:11]

[00:17:49:15]   

-and that Cubans eat UNITA people.
It's amazing.

[00:17:54:19]

[00:17:55:23]   

The Cubans don't eat people.
They're not even in Angola anymore.

[00:17:59:20]

[00:17:59:22]   

It made me cry when we went to fetch
Samuel and he fled into the bush.

[00:18:05:14]

[00:18:05:16]   

The whole village hid in the bush.
They thought we wanted to eat Samuel.

[00:18:11:15]

[00:18:13:01]   

This is Patrick. He's from Angola.
He's an MPLA veteran.

[00:18:17:16]

[00:18:36:05]   

She is saying,
when Samuel is going out...

[00:18:40:19]

[00:18:42:15]   

He use to do everything for his wife,
so how will we do about that?

[00:18:49:22]

[00:18:49:24]   

So that she'll be all right
like when she's with her husband.

[00:18:55:16]

[00:19:03:03]   

What do you think about
them two reconciling?

[00:19:07:03]

[00:19:10:06]   

She's saying she's all right to see
two enemies together.

[00:19:14:24]

[00:19:45:13]   

I'd like to see their faces
when I return to my village alive.

[00:19:49:17]

[00:19:49:19]   

My UNITA buddies were convinced
that you were going to kill me.

[00:19:54:23]

[00:19:55:01]   

'They'll kill you', they all said.

[00:19:57:19]

[00:19:57:21]   

They said you were the brother of
that FAPLA general, Dodalo...

[00:20:03:07]

[00:20:03:16]   

-They thought that we'd kill you?
-Yes, that you'd kill me.

[00:20:08:13]

[00:20:17:00]   

The Portuguese, Namibian and
the South African army all exploited us.

[00:20:22:03]

[00:20:22:05]   

They used the bad relation between
the Bushman and the Bantu.

[00:20:26:11]

[00:20:26:20]   

The Bantu enslaved us to
work for them.

[00:20:30:24]

[00:20:31:08]   

When the war broke out, the Portuguese
convinced the San to fight for them.

[00:20:36:23]

[00:20:37:08]   

The San were a minority group.

[00:20:39:21]

[00:20:40:11]   

They said, come fight with us
against the black man -

[00:20:45:01]

[00:20:45:11]   

-to take and rule the land.

[00:20:48:10]

[00:20:48:20]   

And that persuaded us to join
the Portuguese army.

[00:20:54:11]

[00:20:54:20]   

For me it's bad what happened
between us and the black people.

[00:21:03:17]

[00:21:04:02]   

The Portuguese came to us with
false pretensions-

[00:21:07:19]

[00:21:08:03]   

-and misused us for their own
objectives-

[00:21:12:18]

[00:21:13:02]   

-and that created more hate-

[00:21:16:10]

[00:21:16:19]   

-between us and the black people
and our way of life-

[00:21:20:08]

[00:21:20:17]   

-causing us to loose our self worth.

[00:21:23:24]

[00:21:24:10]   

The black people don't see us as
equals but think less of us-

[00:21:29:07]

[00:21:29:17]   

-and that made us feel regret
for being soldiers.

[00:21:34:18]

[00:21:35:04]   

They whites used us, threw us away
and today nobody care about us.

[00:21:39:12]

[00:22:26:21]   

I don't know why the South Africans
fought in Angola. They wanted to steal.

[00:22:32:10]

[00:22:32:12]   

I knew that I had to defend my country
against South Africa.

[00:22:37:23]

[00:22:38:00]   

They wanted to take Angola just like
Namibia, and capture our economy.

[00:22:43:04]

[00:22:43:06]   

Angolans didn't allow South Africans
to invade our country-

[00:22:47:04]

[00:22:47:06]   

-and take our economy.

[00:22:50:03]

[00:22:53:00]   

It's clear that the war
delayed our lives...

[00:22:57:13]

[00:22:57:15]   

...and our development in Angola.

[00:23:01:09]

[00:23:01:11]   

We veterans never had
a chance to advance-

[00:23:05:09]

[00:23:05:11]   

-but I hope that coming generations
will have a better life than we had.

[00:23:11:01]

[00:23:11:03]   

I have my own children now.

[00:23:13:17]

[00:23:13:19]   

I don't regret that I fought.
But yes, it did delay my life.

[00:23:20:02]

[00:23:22:02]   

I think that the other vets
who could never study...

[00:23:31:02]

[00:23:31:04]   

...feel as bad as I feel.
Because I could never study.

[00:23:36:08]

[00:23:36:10]   

I started school, but I could never
finish it because of the war.

[00:23:43:00]

[00:23:43:02]   

I can't get a job in Angola today.

[00:23:46:16]

[00:23:48:03]   

Still, I'm better off than most people
who live on barely a dollar a day.

[00:23:54:15]

[00:23:58:13]   

I was on my way to school when I met
the soldiers that captured me.

[00:24:04:16]

[00:24:04:18]   

They asked me to go with them,
and I just had to say yes.

[00:24:09:16]

[00:24:09:18]   

They took us to the training camp in
Malange, and then to Cuito Cuanavale.

[00:24:16:00]

[00:24:16:02]   

I fought in the battles of Menonge and
Mavinga. The first battle was terrible.

[00:24:21:12]

[00:24:21:14]   

I was right in the middle, because I was
in the battle command group.

[00:24:28:18]

[00:24:28:20]   

I just heard 'ta-ta-ta-ta'
for 30 minutes.

[00:24:32:15]

[00:24:32:17]   

We moved forward, and this was
the first time I saw the UNITA.

[00:24:36:04]

[00:24:36:06]   

Two dead UNITA soldiers. It scared me
shitless when I saw them.

[00:24:41:08]

[00:24:41:22]   

I'd only seen them in photos
and didn't know if they really existed.

[00:24:49:23]

[00:24:50:00]   

But I saw what the enemy did,
and that's why I went to fight.

[00:24:54:12]

[00:24:56:01]   

I'd seen as a child-

[00:24:59:19]

[00:24:59:21]   

-how the UNITA blew up bridges,
blew up roads-

[00:25:06:03]

[00:25:06:05]   

-killed people, stabbed pregnant women
and killed children.

[00:25:11:07]

[00:25:11:09]   

But you South Africans invaded Angola
with the Israelis, with superior power.

[00:25:18:06]

[00:25:18:08]   

You invaded and bombed
with your aircraft.

[00:25:21:24]

[00:25:22:01]   

Should I have waited for you
to take our land?

[00:25:25:01]

[00:25:25:03]   

No, I couldn't sit still.
I was forced to fight against you.

[00:25:31:16]

[00:25:31:18]   

I grew up thinking about becoming
a soldier. That's what I wanted to do.

[00:25:38:11]

[00:25:38:13]   

I grew up and became a soldier,
went to war and fought against you.

[00:25:45:08]

[00:26:43:14]   

Dear Jesus, soft and tender, look down
upon me, your faithful child. Amen.

[00:26:48:16]

[00:35:15:02]   

I had a woman called Katarina-

[00:35:17:24]

[00:35:18:01]   

-and another woman called Maura,
the mother of my children.

[00:35:23:11]

[00:35:23:13]   

My problems are similar to Marius's.

[00:35:26:15]

[00:35:26:17]   

I always used to come home
with that military attitude.

[00:35:33:05]

[00:35:33:07]   

I decided that things should be
like this and like that.

[00:35:36:14]

[00:35:36:16]   

I also used to drink a lot.

[00:35:40:16]

[00:35:40:18]   

Sometimes I came home drunk
and just fought.

[00:35:45:21]

[00:35:45:23]   

I banged pots and plates,
threw things around...

[00:35:49:16]

[00:35:49:18]   

I had that military attitude.

[00:35:52:16]

[00:35:52:18]   

I had nightmares about the war
and talked in my sleep.

[00:36:00:02]

[00:36:00:04]   

Sometimes she woke up and helped me.

[00:36:04:05]

[00:36:04:07]   

But it got to a point
where it didn't work out any more.

[00:36:07:24]

[00:36:08:01]   

What happened was that I came home
and tried talking to her-

[00:36:13:01]

[00:36:13:03]   

-but she just screamed back,
disrespectfully.

[00:36:18:01]

[00:36:18:03]   

That freaks me out. I can't stand
loud sounds and noises.

[00:36:23:15]

[00:36:23:17]   

It must be from the war.
I can't tolerate fighting and noise.

[00:36:30:07]

[00:36:30:09]   

So I went to the kitchen
and took out a knife.

[00:36:35:01]

[00:36:35:03]   

Just then, my son came in and said,
'Daddy, Daddy, what are you doing?'

[00:36:41:17]

[00:36:41:19]   

I just dropped the knife, left
and went drinking again.

[00:36:47:13]

[00:36:47:15]   

I went back to the bar.

[00:36:49:19]

[00:36:49:21]   

I carried on drinking, went home
and collapsed in the bathroom.

[00:36:55:02]

[00:36:55:04]   

Maura came in and woke me up
and said to me, 'Patrick...'

[00:37:01:07]

[00:37:01:11]   

'You have such problems.
I can't take it any more.'

[00:37:05:21]

[00:37:05:23]   

She was scared and left.
She returned to Angola.

[00:37:10:22]

[00:37:10:24]   

But Katarina stayed and gave me advice.

[00:37:15:12]

[00:37:15:15]   

She told me to do this and that,
up to the point where I am today.

[00:37:20:21]

[00:37:20:23]   

Now I'm in control of my system.

[00:37:25:08]

[00:37:25:10]   

I don't drink as much anymore.

[00:37:31:12]

[00:37:32:14]   

She even took me to the doctor-

[00:37:35:16]

[00:37:35:18]   

-who said I was suffering from
war trauma and shouldn't drink.

[00:37:39:21]

[00:37:40:00]   

Today, I'm getting better. But when
I left the army, I felt like shit.

[00:37:45:21]

[00:40:35:14]   

I just want to ask something.

[00:40:39:21]

[00:40:39:23]   

The story he told-

[00:40:42:10]

[00:40:42:12]   

-was it true, or was it just a dream
of what happened in the war?

[00:40:46:08]

[00:40:46:10]   

Or is he telling us about the dream
to try to help us remember the war?

[00:40:52:05]

[00:40:52:07]   

He wants to know about the story you
told... Is it true, or is it your dream?

[00:40:59:03]

[00:40:59:05]   

It's true, but it reoccurs in my dream.

[00:41:03:06]

[00:41:03:08]   

It's true, and it returns in his dreams.

[00:41:08:15]

[00:41:08:17]   

They actually cooked a person, to eat?

[00:41:11:19]

[00:41:11:22]   

Did you cook a human being?

[00:41:14:01]

[00:41:14:03]   

No, not that bit. It was just that
the person that I've killed-

[00:41:18:21]

[00:41:18:23]   

-appears in these different forms
in the dream.

[00:41:22:09]

[00:41:22:11]   

The guy that I killed, his face appears
in different ways in dreams to me.

[00:41:29:03]

[00:41:29:05]   

In my nightmares.

[00:41:32:05]

[00:41:34:15]   

In 1975, I had a nightmare after seeing
my uncle get his legs cut off-

[00:41:40:00]

[00:41:40:02]   

-and his arms.
He was cut here and here.

[00:41:43:14]

[00:41:43:16]   

At night when I slept-

[00:41:45:23]

[00:41:46:00]   

-I saw where they had put his legs.
In the potato field.

[00:41:53:04]

[00:41:53:06]   

The Cubans just threw them away-

[00:41:57:04]

[00:41:57:06]   

-they cut him here, and here.

[00:42:00:19]

[00:42:00:21]   

Then the commander said something
in Spanish that I didn't understand.

[00:42:05:17]

[00:42:05:19]   

Then he said, 'Let him be,
that's enough.' In Spanish.

[00:42:10:11]

[00:42:10:13]   

Then they chopped his arm off
and threw it away.

[00:42:14:00]

[00:42:14:02]   

At night, I dreamt that his legs
walked around by themselves.

[00:42:19:17]

[00:42:19:19]   

And the arm waved liked this.

[00:42:22:04]

[00:42:22:09]   

I just cried, 'Mommy!', and ran.

[00:42:24:21]

[00:42:24:23]   

My father grabbed me and said,
'What's going on? Are you crazy?'

[00:42:31:04]

[00:42:31:06]   

In 1975 you were a kid, right?
I was also a kid then.

[00:42:35:10]

[00:42:35:12]   

But you knew roughly
what was happening.

[00:42:38:03]

[00:42:38:05]   

When the Cubans came to Angola,
they didn't kill ordinary people.

[00:42:41:16]

[00:42:41:18]   

So I wonder what his uncle had done
to be cut like that by the Cubans.

[00:42:47:02]

[00:42:47:04]   

There was a man who reported him
to be an organizer for the FNLA.

[00:42:54:17]

[00:45:09:10]   

We had to run from four in the morning
and the whole day.

[00:45:16:20]

[00:45:16:22]   

-From four in the morning?
-Until the afternoon. Run like this.

[00:45:22:21]

[00:45:22:23]   

They said we didn't understand anything
and that we were crazy.

[00:45:28:13]

[00:45:28:15]   

They said that we were
crazy SWAPO terrorists-

[00:45:32:21]

[00:45:32:23]   

-and that's why we should
cut the grass with our teeth.

[00:45:38:01]

[00:45:38:03]   

Wait... The South Africans
said you were SWAPO?

[00:45:43:13]

[00:45:43:15]   

But you were from the UNITA.
How did that happen?

[00:45:46:06]

[00:45:46:08]   

When we lined up in a platoon
and he gave us orders to turn right-

[00:45:52:04]

[00:45:52:06]   

-if you turned left by accident-

[00:45:55:09]

[00:45:55:11]   

-he would shout,
'You see, that "ganjo" is SWAPO.'

[00:46:00:15]

[00:46:00:17]   

'Come here, you Swapie fuck. Hit the
ground and start cutting the grass.'

[00:46:08:07]

[00:46:08:09]   

-You chewed grass with your teeth?
-Yes, often. You get down like this.

[00:46:13:13]

[00:46:13:15]   

You stand on all fours
and cut the grass like this.

[00:46:18:19]

[00:46:18:21]   

-It's true.
-This whole area?

[00:46:21:12]

[00:46:21:14]   

Yes, we chewed off
all the grass here. It's true.

[00:46:25:05]

[00:46:25:07]   

But when the South Africans
operated with you-

[00:46:29:02]

[00:46:29:04]   

-they knew that you fought
for them in Angola?

[00:46:33:20]

[00:46:33:22]   

They never trusted us people from
the UNITA. They never relied on us.

[00:46:40:00]

[00:50:07:02]   

Me, I just want to understand.
Like he says, and like he says.

[00:50:12:13]

[00:50:12:15]   

Then I can say, 'Yes, that one
was there, that one was there...'

[00:50:17:00]

[00:50:17:02]   

Like when you told us your dream
about cooking two black people.

[00:50:25:01]

[00:50:25:03]   

We want the real thing.
We don't want a dream.

[00:50:28:12]

[00:50:28:14]   

-Is a dream not real for you?
-I don't believe in dreams.

[00:50:32:05]

[00:50:32:07]   

If you tell me, 'Patrick,
I was in Angola.'

[00:50:36:20]

[00:50:36:22]   

'I fought here and I did this.'

[00:50:40:02]

[00:50:40:04]   

Then I can believe it. It's fine.

[00:50:43:03]

[00:50:43:05]   

Well, I mean...
I've told you, I think...

[00:50:48:17]

[00:50:48:19]   

It's difficult to try and say
where we've always been-

[00:50:54:03]

[00:50:54:05]   

-because the unit I worked in
was a special forces unit.

[00:50:59:13]

[00:50:59:15]   

The parachute regiment. They didn't
always tell us where we would go.

[00:51:04:02]

[00:51:04:05]   

We were dropped at night, deep into
Angola. Sometimes we were driven in.

[00:51:10:21]

[00:51:10:23]   

Nobody told us where we were going,
because our operations were secret.

[00:51:16:13]

[00:51:16:15]   

But you got a map?

[00:51:18:21]

[00:51:18:23]   

Not us. Maybe the captain,
but not the troops. We were just troops.

[00:51:24:15]

[00:51:24:18]   

We had... Every day,
there was a stick of soldiers.

[00:51:28:17]

[00:51:28:19]   

Around 13 or 14
were on standby every day.

[00:51:33:00]

[00:51:33:02]   

And then a siren would go off when
there was contact in Angola somewhere.

[00:51:40:12]

[00:51:40:14]   

We would run for the helicopters with
our ammunition and R4 machine gun-

[00:51:46:01]

[00:51:46:03]   

-jump into the helicopters, and fly very
quickly to where they found the tracks.

[00:51:52:18]

[00:51:52:20]   

Then we would jump off
and run on the tracks-

[00:51:56:04]

[00:51:56:06]   

-until we found the soldiers,
FAPLA or SWAPO or whatever.

[00:52:00:08]

[00:52:00:10]   

And when we finished, they'd pick us up,
we'd fly back to Ondangwa...

[00:52:05:02]

[00:52:05:04]   

Sometimes you would order a beer
while you waited. We had a bar.

[00:52:09:23]

[00:52:10:00]   

You'd drink your beer, the alarm would
go off, you'd fly, kill the terrorists-

[00:52:14:01]

[00:52:14:03]   

-fly back and carry on
drinking your beer.

[00:52:16:14]

[00:52:16:16]   

For me, it was a terrible thing
not to know where we were-

[00:52:20:22]

[00:52:20:24]   

-and why we'd done things.
And I think maybe that makes it extra...

[00:52:28:17]

[00:52:28:19]   

It's extra painful.

[00:52:31:01]

[00:52:31:03]   

I think... We have a different history.

[00:52:34:02]

[00:52:34:04]   

Our country, that we fought for, or that
they brainwashed us to believe in-

[00:52:40:05]

[00:52:40:07]   

-the South Africa of apartheid,
is not there anymore.

[00:52:44:23]

[00:52:45:00]   

And it was a complete wrong war.

[00:52:48:16]

[00:52:48:19]   

That's really how I feel.

[00:52:52:07]

[00:52:52:10]   

Where we fought... For me, it's not
really important exactly which battle...

[00:52:58:15]

[00:52:58:17]   

I know how I feel inside.
I know how my heart feels.

[00:53:04:09]

[00:53:04:11]   

I can show you pictures, too.

[00:53:07:14]

[00:53:07:16]   

-I brought pictures with me...
-No, we don't need it.

[00:53:11:08]

[00:53:11:10]   

I want to show them
and then get rid of them forever.

[00:53:14:19]

[00:53:14:21]   

I don't want to have them
ever with me again.

[00:53:18:10]

[00:53:18:12]   

But first I want to show them to you,
and then I'm going to burn them.

[00:53:23:13]

[00:53:33:09]   

He had a good life,
being able to take pictures.

[00:53:38:18]

[00:53:38:20]   

This is some pictures from when I was
doing my training with the parachutes.

[00:53:46:02]

[00:53:46:04]   

You can see there... You train
and you jump out of the aapkas.

[00:53:53:15]

[00:53:53:17]   

This is when I got my... You get wings
when you become a paratrooper.

[00:53:58:24]

[00:53:59:01]   

And there is... We did an ambush
and we shot a terrorist.

[00:54:04:12]

[00:54:05:03]   

That's in the bush in Angola somewhere.

[00:54:08:03]

[00:54:08:05]   

-You want to burn this? Why?
-I don't want the memory anymore.

[00:54:13:22]

[00:54:16:10]   

-You must give it to your kids.
-No...

[00:54:19:15]

[00:54:19:17]   

-Don't burn it. Give it to your friends.
-I must get rid of it. I don't want it.

[00:54:24:24]

[00:54:25:01]   

I don't want the memory
in my head anymore.

[00:54:28:12]

[00:54:28:14]   

I want to get rid of that memory. I want
us all to get rid of our bad memories.

[00:54:34:04]

[00:56:14:10]   

Me, I got a question.

[00:56:16:14]

[00:56:16:23]   

We three, were the soldiers.

[00:56:19:06]

[00:56:19:19]   

I was a soldier, Mario was a soldier
and he was a soldier.

[00:56:23:08]

[00:56:23:18]   

If I go to war and I have a camera...
That's not a war.

[00:56:30:06]

[00:56:30:08]   

I want to kill people but
there was no war.

[00:56:32:24]

[00:56:33:01]   

If I'm in a fire, I never have time
to take a picture.

[00:56:36:14]

[00:56:36:16]   

Like this, and then take a picture.

[00:56:38:22]

[00:56:38:24]   

The thing is, I'm a soldier.

[00:56:41:03]

[00:56:41:06]   

If you bring me dead people
from the other side-

[00:56:44:21]

[00:56:44:23]   

-you can drop them in Walvis Bay, I can
take a picture, and that's my proof.

[00:56:48:15]

[00:56:48:17]   

-But not in a war.
-You think I've done that?

[00:56:51:19]

[00:56:51:21]   

-Is my photograph taken in Walvis Bay?
-No, I didn't say Walvis Bay.

[00:56:56:21]

[00:56:57:00]   

Maybe in Ondangwa.

[00:56:59:01]

[00:56:59:03]   

So you think my pictures are all fake,
and I've taken them in Ondangwa?

[00:57:04:24]

[00:57:05:01]   

We are saying the truth.

[00:57:07:23]

[00:57:08:00]   

If you say, 'Patrick, that was this,
this, this, this and this place...'

[00:57:13:08]

[00:57:13:10]   

'...I believe you.'
For me, I don't trust pictures.

[00:57:17:18]

[00:58:35:00]   

I'm feeling very hurt
about you guys not trusting me.

[00:58:39:11]

[00:58:39:13]   

There's a feeling between you guys...

[00:58:42:13]

[00:58:42:15]   

I feel that you mistrust me. You think
that I haven't been in the war-

[00:58:49:20]

[00:58:49:23]   

-or that I'm talking nonsense.
I would like us to talk about that.

[00:58:55:13]

[00:58:55:15]   

He says that we don't believe
that he was in the war.

[00:59:00:00]

[00:59:00:02]   

He wants us to talk about that.

[00:59:03:16]

[00:59:03:18]   

Who wants to talk?

[00:59:06:11]

[00:59:06:13]   

The problem is that we haven't been
in the areas where he fought.

[00:59:11:07]

[00:59:11:09]   

He was in an area that I don't know.

[00:59:15:22]

[00:59:15:24]   

They fought in Angola, but none of them
died. I never heard of anyone who died.

[00:59:22:12]

[00:59:22:20]   

We didn't do the same work.
We didn't say that we don't trust you.

[00:59:28:21]

[00:59:28:23]   

We just said that the way you want
forgiveness is difficult for us.

[00:59:35:23]

[00:59:36:03]   

I feel the need to apologize,
to get forgiveness from Angola.

[00:59:42:01]

[00:59:42:03]   

You need to apologize. It's your right.

[00:59:45:00]

[00:59:45:03]   

Because you came to Angola to fight.
And me, I was defending myself.

[00:59:49:04]

[00:59:49:06]   

You apologize to us, 'Sorry for that.'

[00:59:52:02]

[00:59:52:04]   

I can't apologize to you people.
You people must tell me why we must...

[00:59:56:12]

[00:59:56:21]   

I feel that I would like to ask for
forgiveness for what we've done.

[01:00:02:16]

[01:00:02:18]   

Don't Samuel and Mario feel remorse-

[01:00:07:06]

[01:00:07:08]   

-or feel that they need forgiveness
from the Angolans, from FAPLA?

[01:00:13:18]

[01:00:14:06]   

What's he asking?

[01:00:18:04]

[01:00:18:06]   

If you personally want to apologize
to your people.

[01:00:22:01]

[01:00:22:03]   

But where shall I find them,
and where shall I apologize?

[01:00:25:03]

[01:00:25:05]   

We can ask forgiveness here.
We left all of that behind us.

[01:00:30:06]

[01:00:30:08]   

Even today, if I drive
from here to Cuito-

[01:00:33:20]

[01:00:33:22]   

-and tell the people in Cuito,
'Sorry, I killed your children...'

[01:00:38:14]

[01:00:38:16]   

What would they do to me?

[01:00:41:00]

[01:00:41:02]   

What should be done
isn't an apology from Samuel-

[01:00:46:03]

[01:00:46:05]   

-but an apology to the people.
What I did was wrong.

[01:00:51:24]

[01:00:52:01]   

What makes you want to
ask for forgiveness?

[01:00:55:11]

[01:00:55:13]   

It's probably that you feel bad,
that you feel deceived.

[01:01:01:16]

[01:01:01:18]   

I fought in the army, I didn't always
know where I was shooting.

[01:01:08:10]

[01:01:08:12]   

I may have killed, but I'm here
to ask forgiveness-

[01:01:11:20]

[01:01:11:22]   

-from the Angolans, our brothers.

[01:01:14:00]

[01:01:14:02]   

Yes, then you can ask for forgiveness.

[01:01:18:04]

[01:01:18:22]   

Jesus, sorry guys, there is a
fucking huge crocodile over there...

[01:01:23:12]

[01:01:37:11]   

What Marius is trying to do...
For me, it's very important.

[01:01:41:13]

[01:01:41:15]   

For me, it's very important.
I know we need that, too.

[01:01:47:01]

[01:01:47:03]   

Marius also needs...
We're going to help you to do that.

[01:01:51:07]

[01:01:51:09]   

I'm going to help you.

[01:01:54:04]

[01:01:54:06]   

Together. I wouldn't be able to do this
without your support and recognition.

[01:02:00:07]

[01:02:00:09]   

And that is... I have it,
and it makes my heart feel very good.

[01:02:04:09]

[01:02:04:11]   

My heart, too.

[01:02:07:13]

[01:02:07:15]   

-Thanks a lot.
-I'll give my whole support to you.

[01:02:11:04]

[01:02:11:06]   

And I'll support you too, Patrick.
We'll support each other.

[01:02:15:21]

[01:02:15:23]   

I support you.

[01:02:18:18]

[01:02:21:15]   

Very, very important.

[01:02:24:10]

[01:03:28:14]   

Now we sit here
around the fire and talk...

[01:03:32:17]

[01:03:32:19]   

During the war,
whenever we made a fire...

[01:03:36:07]

[01:03:36:09]   

We didn't have food,
so why should we make a fire?

[01:03:43:05]

[01:03:43:07]   

When we captured a soldier
from the MPLA, we took a pole-

[01:03:48:12]

[01:03:48:14]   

-sharpened it with a machete
and stuck him on top of the pole.

[01:03:53:12]

[01:03:53:21]   

I don't really understands this,
so who's doing this?

[01:03:57:23]

[01:03:58:15]   

When he grabs a FAPLA he sharpens a pin-

[01:04:03:10]

[01:04:03:19]   

-and then sticks him with his
asshole... and turns him around...

[01:04:08:21]

[01:04:16:03]   

Have you done it? Did you
help doing this?

[01:04:18:13]

[01:04:18:23]   

-Did you help them?
-Yes, I helped them.

[01:04:23:11]

[01:04:24:00]   

So we were here...

[01:04:27:03]

[01:04:28:15]   

We're standing here.

[01:04:30:16]

[01:04:32:06]   

This is me.

[01:04:34:12]

[01:04:35:17]   

We captured these men here.
When we captured them-

[01:04:40:05]

[01:04:40:07]   

-we cut down wooden poles
with our machetes and sharpened them.

[01:04:47:07]

[01:04:47:09]   

Then we stuck them onto the poles
and spun them around like this.

[01:04:54:23]

[01:04:55:00]   

When the poles came out of
the side of their heads, we stopped.

[01:05:02:24]

[01:05:03:01]   

The poles were as thick as my arm.

[01:05:06:07]

[01:05:06:09]   

You'd hold it like this, dig a hole
and secure it in the ground.

[01:05:11:22]

[01:05:11:24]   

He'd sit, stuck on the pole.
You'd lift him onto the pole like this.

[01:05:18:23]

[01:05:19:00]   

When the pole sank in,
you'd start to spin him like this.

[01:05:26:21]

[01:05:26:23]   

When the pole sunk in deeper,
they started to scream.

[01:05:31:19]

[01:05:31:21]   

'Mommy, I'm going to die!
I'm going to die!'

[01:05:35:01]

[01:05:35:09]   

-Were they really alive for three hours?
-Yes.

[01:05:40:21]

[01:05:40:23]   

They screamed and screamed...

[01:05:44:01]

[01:05:44:03]   

When we left them at three o'clock in
the morning, they were still screaming.

[01:05:52:17]

[01:05:52:19]   

So they died of their
own weight?

[01:05:57:24]

[01:05:58:01]   

Yes.

[01:06:00:04]

[01:06:00:06]   

Do you feel regret? Do you feel
ashamed of what you were forced to do?

[01:06:06:11]

[01:06:06:13]   

How do you live with that?
How do you live with what you've done?

[01:06:10:20]

[01:06:10:22]   

I felt very bad, but I'm not guilty.

[01:06:14:01]

[01:06:14:03]   

The guilty ones
are the politicians and commanders.

[01:06:17:18]

[01:06:17:20]   

And the president and government
that sent us out to kill.

[01:06:23:02]

[01:06:31:06]   

I met a man in '85 who said our whole
village was burned down by the UNITA.

[01:06:38:11]

[01:06:38:13]   

I was in the UNITA, but it was
the UNITA that burned our village.

[01:06:41:21]

[01:06:41:23]   

They said my dad wasn't there anymore,
nor my mother or my brother.

[01:06:47:17]

[01:06:47:19]   

He worked on a pig farm nearby
and he was killed there.

[01:06:53:15]

[01:06:53:17]   

I cried for three days. On the fourth
day, leaders that I knew saw me crying.

[01:07:00:05]

[01:07:00:07]   

They said, 'Don't cry.
This is how it is.'

[01:07:04:06]

[01:07:04:08]   

Then it could come out of my heart.

[01:07:07:01]

[01:07:07:03]   

The next day I realized I must think of
other things, otherwise I would die too.

[01:07:12:18]

[01:07:18:01]   

Tell me, did you shake Savimbi's hand?

[01:07:22:04]

[01:07:22:06]   

-Yes.
-That's fucked, isn't it?

[01:07:25:18]

[01:07:25:20]   

When he was satisfied, he came
to the troops with a lot of stuff.

[01:07:31:24]

[01:07:32:01]   

-Food?
-He came with food.

[01:07:35:04]

[01:07:35:06]   

His mother said, 'If you can't manage,
let them go back to their villages.'

[01:07:39:16]

[01:07:39:18]   

-His mother?
-Yes.

[01:07:42:00]

[01:07:42:02]   

He said, 'Mother, don't say that.
I will manage.'

[01:07:45:19]

[01:07:45:21]   

He said we'd fight and we'd be free.

[01:07:48:21]

[01:07:48:23]   

He said the FAPLA were faggots.

[01:07:51:00]

[01:07:51:02]   

He told lies. He lied to us
about the Cubans being there.

[01:07:56:24]

[01:07:57:01]   

-That we were Cubans?
-Yes.

[01:08:00:03]

[01:09:12:07]   

I'm going to tell you
what happened in Jamba-

[01:09:16:13]

[01:09:16:15]   

-when so many people
died of witchcraft.

[01:09:20:01]

[01:09:27:08]   

This is wood.

[01:09:30:17]

[01:09:39:23]   

This is petrol.

[01:09:42:12]

[01:09:54:18]   

Here is Savimbi.

[01:09:57:18]

[01:09:59:00]   

He stood here.

[01:10:01:07]

[01:10:07:08]   

I stood here.

[01:10:10:10]

[01:10:12:08]   

And my friend was standing here.

[01:10:15:10]

[01:10:16:16]   

Here's an opening where the women
were led in. They were pushed in there.

[01:10:22:09]

[01:10:22:11]   

When they were all inside,
this was closed.

[01:10:25:21]

[01:10:25:23]   

Petrol was pumped in here from trucks.

[01:10:29:11]

[01:10:30:12]   

He lit a match
and put a stick to it, like this.

[01:10:37:11]

[01:10:37:13]   

It was just one stick that he threw in
like this, and pow!

[01:10:42:06]

[01:10:42:08]   

It was like an ocean of fire.
Because petrol has an enormous force.

[01:10:47:06]

[01:10:47:08]   

Flesh was burning,
and it sounded like this...

[01:10:51:19]

[01:10:52:14]   

So all these women were burned alive,
because they'd bewitched the soldiers.

[01:10:58:18]

[01:10:58:20]   

They'd sneaked up on the soldiers
while they were asleep-

[01:11:04:11]

[01:11:04:13]   

-and rubbed shit
around the soldiers' mouths.

[01:11:09:02]

[01:11:09:04]   

The women had cut their pubic hair
and mixed it with shit-

[01:11:14:02]

[01:11:14:06]   

-and rubbed it around
the sleeping soldiers' mouths.

[01:11:18:13]

[01:11:19:17]   

There was one woman there...
She was beautiful.

[01:11:23:17]

[01:11:23:19]   

I cried when I watched her die.

[01:11:26:23]

[01:11:28:10]   

That woman stood here. Here.

[01:11:33:00]

[01:11:36:01]   

My heart was in pain when I saw her die.

[01:11:40:02]

[01:11:40:04]   

Eight thousand people died here.

[01:11:43:06]

[01:11:43:09]   

All of them women.
There were no men among them.

[01:11:48:21]

[01:11:48:23]   

After three days,
Savimbi called his troops-

[01:11:54:15]

[01:11:54:17]   

-and told them to play soccer on the
ashes. So they played soccer there.

[01:12:01:00]

[01:12:01:02]   

-They played on the dead bodies?
-Yes, on the petrol and ashes.

[01:12:06:22]

[01:13:38:04]   

It's all just business.

[01:13:41:04]

[01:13:42:00]   

What happened in Angola was business.
I'm saying it and I can repeat it. Why?

[01:13:48:09]

[01:13:48:11]   

Most of our leaders became rich-

[01:13:52:01]

[01:13:52:03]   

-and most of us veterans who fought
remain poor.

[01:13:57:00]

[01:13:57:02]   

Wherever I fought, I never saw
the son of any chief fighting.

[01:14:03:23]

[01:14:04:00]   

It's just the sons of the poor.
I'm saying it again. I was a soldier.

[01:14:10:03]

[01:14:10:05]   

I'm humiliated. I didn't study.
None of my colleagues studied.

[01:14:15:14]

[01:14:15:16]   

But while we were in the war,
the others could study.

[01:14:19:18]

[01:14:19:20]   

That's why so many veterans
are thieves nowadays-

[01:14:26:11]

[01:14:26:13]   

-or crazy.

[01:14:28:13]

[01:14:28:15]   

The children of poor country folk are
still suffering. They gained nothing.

[01:14:33:23]

[01:14:34:00]   

I could never imagine what I've seen.
If I'd seen it on TV-

[01:14:37:14]

[01:14:37:16]   

-I would have said it was a lie.
People can't suffer that much.

[01:14:40:24]

[01:14:41:01]   

But I saw with my own eyes
how people suffer.

[01:14:44:03]

[01:14:44:05]   

The war delays people's lives.

[01:14:48:22]

[01:14:48:24]   

The war delays people's memory.

[01:14:52:03]

[01:14:54:10]   

And here we are today.
We could never study.

[01:14:58:12]

[01:14:58:14]   

We have nothing.

[01:15:02:01]

[01:15:02:03]   

And all our strength
got lost in the war.

[01:15:06:10]

[01:15:20:04]   

They got us together,
we finished the training together-

[01:15:25:01]

[01:15:25:03]   

-and we went to fight together.
We were like brothers.

[01:15:29:23]

[01:15:30:00]   

He tried to save my life
by putting me into the helicopter.

[01:15:33:11]

[01:15:33:13]   

The helicopter couldn't stay long,
because the bombs are... like rain.

[01:15:39:03]

[01:15:39:05]   

My friend came running to pick me up
and put me in the helicopter.

[01:15:42:19]

[01:15:42:21]   

Before he came to me...

[01:15:46:00]

[01:15:46:02]   

The things I remember today...

[01:15:48:13]

[01:15:48:15]   

I just saw his body running,
and his head was there.

[01:15:52:03]

[01:15:52:05]   

Callanga, a good friend of mine.

[01:15:55:00]

[01:15:55:15]   

We advanced from here
early in the morning.

[01:16:00:12]

[01:16:00:14]   

-We fought here in the morning.
-You're thinking of the battle at Lomba?

[01:16:06:08]

[01:16:06:10]   

-Yes. I was there.
-Me too.

[01:16:08:10]

[01:16:08:12]   

I gave the signal to launch that bomb.
Yes. Because I worked with...

[01:16:14:03]

[01:16:18:00]   

We came in like this...cut off here.
We came in and there was an explosion.

[01:16:23:06]

[01:16:23:08]   

Then the battle started. The UNITA
retreated to here, by the river Lomba.

[01:16:29:08]

[01:16:29:10]   

-Bombardments by South Africa...
-They were behind the battle front.

[01:16:35:06]

[01:16:35:08]   

My commander said, 'Patrick, run away!'
So I climbed up on the car and got shot.

[01:16:41:09]

[01:16:41:11]   

But my buddy Callanga
saw when I got shot.

[01:16:45:15]

[01:16:45:17]   

He said, 'Patrick, come here.' I went
over. 'Stay there, you've been hit.'

[01:16:51:02]

[01:16:51:04]   

He pulled off his shirt
and used it to bandage me.

[01:16:55:09]

[01:16:55:11]   

We were closed in for nearly 15 days
without water and food. We were here.

[01:17:01:22]

[01:17:01:24]   

We couldn't move forwards
or backwards.

[01:17:05:04]

[01:17:05:06]   

We were surrounded by the enemy,
the UNITA. We were in the middle.

[01:17:09:13]

[01:17:09:15]   

I was here, behind a shelter.

[01:17:14:16]

[01:17:15:14]   

I was here, and my friend was here,
behind a shelter here.

[01:17:20:15]

[01:17:20:17]   

The helicopter came here
to land here.

[01:17:28:06]

[01:17:28:08]   

Here. My friend
came running from here.

[01:17:32:08]

[01:17:32:10]   

He came here to lift me in. Here.

[01:17:35:11]

[01:17:35:13]   

The projectile landed here.

[01:17:40:17]

[01:17:40:19]   

The battlements were here, and we were
in here. The projectile landed here.

[01:17:44:14]

[01:17:44:16]   

A piece of shrapnel cut his head off.

[01:17:48:13]

[01:17:49:02]   

Look. I'm returning to the battlement.

[01:17:52:16]

[01:17:52:18]   

The helicopter lifted,
and when it got to about here...

[01:17:57:11]

[01:17:57:13]   

Then they crashed here.

[01:18:00:16]

[01:18:00:18]   

I was here. I was firing over there.

[01:18:03:06]

[01:18:03:08]   

The machine gun was firing over here
and hit the helicopter that crashed...

[01:18:08:22]

[01:18:09:07]   

The projectile exploded here. Boom!

[01:18:11:24]

[01:18:12:01]   

The only thing I remember today
is his head flying off-

[01:18:16:06]

[01:18:16:08]   

-and his body running straight ahead.

[01:18:19:14]

[01:18:19:16]   

I still don't know where his body went.
His head just came off, like this.

[01:18:24:09]

[01:18:24:11]   

Sometimes I dream of it.

[01:18:26:18]

[01:18:26:20]   

Sometimes I think,
sometimes I'm angry...

[01:18:30:02]

[01:18:30:04]   

I think, 'It was supposed to be me.
Not him. It was supposed to be me.'

[01:18:35:11]

[01:18:35:13]   

Not him.

[01:18:36:20]

[01:19:50:22]   

I don't feel as if I'm with the enemy.

[01:19:54:12]

[01:19:54:14]   

I think that he's like my brother.
Because he's innocent.

[01:20:00:16]

[01:20:00:18]   

He has no guilt. He was forcefully
recruited, like he told us already.

[01:20:07:01]

[01:20:07:03]   

So I think... I have a lot of
compassion for him.

[01:20:12:03]

[01:20:12:11]   

What do you think about me being with
the FAPLA and you with the UNITA-

[01:20:16:21]

[01:20:16:23]   

-who were killing each other? When
you look at me, what do you think?

[01:20:22:00]

[01:20:22:02]   

I don't think anything,
because we were in the war-

[01:20:27:21]

[01:20:27:23]   

-but we're not the ones to be blamed.

[01:20:31:00]

[01:20:31:02]   

The government is to blame.
They forced us out to the front.

[01:20:34:08]

[01:20:34:10]   

But now that we're here together,
I feel like you're my brother.

[01:20:40:16]

[01:20:44:07]   

We found the UNITA hiding place.
We spun the turret of the tank.

[01:20:49:05]

[01:20:52:12]   

'Motherfucker! Drive, for fuck's sake!'

[01:20:55:11]

[01:20:56:07]   

How did you run?
Did you run and shoot?

[01:20:59:08]

[01:20:59:10]   

Yes, I'd run and shoot.

[01:21:01:17]

[01:21:01:19]   

Then the others went like this. Boom!

[01:21:04:11]

[01:21:04:13]   

We continued... Boom!

[01:21:07:14]

[01:21:07:16]   

-Tanks are coming!
-When tanks came, we'd run like this.

[01:21:11:22]

[01:21:11:24]   

You'd zigzag - run like this,
then like this, and then shoot.

[01:21:17:05]

[01:21:18:21]   

Then you'd go like this...

[01:21:21:12]

[01:21:21:14]   

Then to the other side.

[01:21:24:04]

[01:21:25:09]   

For me, this is something
that gives me hope.

[01:21:28:14]

[01:21:28:16]   

Meeting someone who fought
against me during the war.

[01:21:34:06]

[01:21:34:08]   

I never imagined that I would sit
together with you like this.

[01:21:38:18]

[01:21:38:20]   

I'll never, ever forget this.

[01:21:41:04]

[01:21:41:06]   

Give me your hand, because we're
brothers. We didn't deserve war.

[01:21:45:16]

[01:21:45:18]   

Let's rebuild our lives
and our countries.

[01:21:49:04]

[01:21:49:06]   

Be done with the war. Stop the war.
It's no good.

[01:21:53:00]

[01:21:53:02]   

It's a big thing for me to meet a person
that fought against me. I love it.

[01:21:59:07]

[01:21:59:09]   

What happened happened.

[01:22:02:17]

[01:22:03:18]   

They said we must forgive each other.

[01:22:06:23]

[01:22:07:00]   

Yes, we forgive each other.

[01:22:09:15]

[01:22:09:17]   

But I need to know
what we were fighting for.

[01:22:15:00]

[01:22:15:02]   

We just fight
and the war stopped.

[01:22:18:11]

[01:22:18:13]   

And we must forgive each other.
But I don't know why we were fighting.

[01:22:22:14]

[01:22:22:16]   

We were supposed to do that before,
not now. Why didn't we do that before?

[01:22:28:12]

[01:26:28:00]   

I also have a few things
I want to throw on the fire.

[01:26:31:23]

[01:26:34:14]   

I was a soldier with the Portuguese
and with the South Africans.

[01:26:39:06]

[01:26:39:08]   

Here, I found a brother from the UNITA
and another brother from the MPLA.

[01:26:45:07]

[01:26:50:05]   

I still carry terrible memories
with me today.

[01:26:54:12]

[01:27:00:10]   

Together, the four of us
thought we'd do something-

[01:27:06:03]

[01:27:06:05]   

-to free ourselves of the memories
and forget what happened to us.

[01:27:11:06]

[01:27:11:08]   

That's why I'm going to throw
my combat uniform into the fire.

[01:27:16:21]

[01:27:16:23]   

My rank was staff sergeant,
so I had 'power'...

[01:27:24:15]

[01:27:24:21]   

We want to show that the war
is over, and don't want more war.

[01:27:30:18]

[01:31:36:20]   

It just burned up.
Yes, it was explosive.

[01:31:40:06]

[01:31:40:08]   

-Who gave you that?
-It came from South Africa.

[01:31:43:13]

[01:31:43:15]   

South Africa? Yes, very dangerous.

[01:31:46:10]

[01:31:46:12]   

But, fuck... Give me your hand.

[01:31:50:13]

[01:31:54:15]   

-The war was fucked up.
-Yes. The war wasn't good.

[01:31:59:04]

[01:31:59:06]   

This war... No.

[01:32:02:08]

[01:32:02:10]   

At the river Lomba, the big tanks...

[01:32:06:07]

[01:32:13:24]   

Stop, motherfucker! UNITA is here!
Enemy, enemy! Advance, tank drivers!

[01:32:19:13]