# In Out Dauer Length
1 10:01:05:18 10:01:09:10 00:00:03:17 58
I imagine my parents’ wedding
would have looked like this,
2 10:01:09:16 10:01:12:07 00:00:02:16 56
or somewhat like this.
But as there is no footage of it,
3 10:01:12:13 10:01:14:16 00:00:02:03 26
this footage from my uncle
4 10:01:14:21 10:01:17:22 00:00:03:01 57
and his 16 year old
brides’ wedding will have to suffice.
5 10:02:23:19 10:02:26:11 00:00:02:17 51
That’s funny. Did you see
that sign just now? - No.
6 10:02:26:19 10:02:29:12 00:00:02:18 50
It said “No Football“,
but there was a goal there.
7 10:02:30:11 10:02:33:21 00:00:03:10 53
Can we open the window?
I’m getting hot flashes here.
8 10:02:56:12 10:02:58:02 00:00:01:15 25
This is my mother Beyhan.
9 10:02:58:15 10:03:00:07 00:00:01:17 20
She is 52 years old.
10 10:03:00:12 10:03:04:03 00:00:03:16 48
Divorced,
mother of five and grandmother of two.
11 10:03:05:01 10:03:08:06 00:00:03:05 43
Her only possession
is a funeral insurance,
12 10:03:08:11 10:03:09:23 00:00:01:12 42
guaranteeing
the transfer of her body back
13 10:03:10:03 10:03:12:23 00:00:02:20 33
to her country of origin, Turkey.
14 10:03:13:16 10:03:16:07 00:00:02:16 31
Where she last visited in 1994.
15 10:03:18:03 10:03:19:22 00:00:01:19 35
But all that isn't important today.
16 10:03:20:05 10:03:23:04 00:00:02:24 39
Some friends' wedding awaits attending.
17 10:03:24:07 10:03:26:15 00:00:02:08 42
And she is being
made look pretty by Esra.
18 10:03:27:04 10:03:29:16 00:00:02:12 30
Esra is the pet of the family.
19 10:03:30:12 10:03:32:24 00:00:02:12 51
When she was a child
her sunny nature kept the mood
20 10:03:33:05 10:03:35:17 00:00:02:12 48
on an even keel
and she was a comfort to us all.
21 10:03:36:19 10:03:38:15 00:00:01:21 37
Today she is an aspiring hairdresser,
22 10:03:38:19 10:03:41:03 00:00:02:09 50
who is also madly in love
with her boyfriend Mimi.
23 10:03:44:00 10:03:46:16 00:00:02:16 22
Esra?
And how are you?
24 10:03:48:06 10:03:50:00 00:00:01:19 25
Are you thinking of Mimi?
25 10:03:50:21 10:03:51:24 00:00:01:03 9
Fuck you.
26 10:03:52:12 10:03:54:21 00:00:02:09 34
Do you wish he was here right now?
27 10:03:55:16 10:03:57:09 00:00:01:18 19
I’ll kick your ass.
28 10:03:58:06 10:03:59:17 00:00:01:11 13
Knock it off!
29 10:04:25:08 10:04:27:16 00:00:02:08 40
This young man
is my little brother Ali.
30 10:04:28:16 10:04:31:12 00:00:02:21 52
Over the course of filming
I get to know him better.
31 10:04:31:22 10:04:34:15 00:00:02:18 48
He loves Ninja films,
for example, and Scarface.
32 10:04:34:24 10:04:37:10 00:00:02:11 29
Plus he is always super busy.
33 10:04:50:10 10:04:53:10 00:00:03:00 50
Well, one more day
and you’ll all have your peace.
34 10:04:53:18 10:04:55:13 00:00:01:20 24
They understand Turkish.
35 10:04:55:21 10:04:56:21 00:00:01:00 4
Who?
36 10:04:57:04 10:04:59:17 00:00:02:13 50
Does your mom speak Turkish
or German in the film?
37 10:05:00:00 10:05:02:23 00:00:02:23 40
Both. It’s all being
translated somehow.
38 10:05:03:20 10:05:06:21 00:00:03:01 47
This is Ilknur.
However we all call her "Abla".
39 10:05:07:08 10:05:09:03 00:00:01:20 22
It means "big sister".
40 10:05:10:03 10:05:11:24 00:00:01:21 25
At our Greek holiday home
41 10:05:12:07 10:05:14:22 00:00:02:15 48
Abla is making "Lahmacun"
for her husband Timur.
42 10:05:16:01 10:05:18:09 00:00:02:08 48
Only if Timur is satisfied
with Abla's Lahmacun,
43 10:05:18:14 10:05:20:05 00:00:01:16 35
will he permit her and her two sons
44 10:05:20:15 10:05:22:22 00:00:02:07 39
to attend our friend’s wedding as well.
45 10:05:24:24 10:05:27:15 00:00:02:16 39
Esra, can you help mom
clear the table?
46 10:05:27:23 10:05:30:04 00:00:02:06 36
So we can get
this all done quicker.
47 10:05:30:22 10:05:33:10 00:00:02:13 37
Mother, can I do something like this?
48 10:05:34:00 10:05:37:24 00:00:03:24 42
Like make an arrow
and then do this, blow?
49 10:05:38:20 10:05:40:11 00:00:01:16 6
Can I?
50 10:05:41:05 10:05:42:21 00:00:01:16 14
Can you do it?
51 10:06:21:21 10:06:24:11 00:00:02:15 51
This is my sister Samira,
one year younger than me.
52 10:06:25:04 10:06:28:00 00:00:02:21 36
Samira is named after grandma Nazik.
53 10:06:28:11 10:06:30:22 00:00:02:11 43
But she later changes her name into Samira.
54 10:06:33:02 10:06:35:18 00:00:02:16 47
Here the small wedding
will take place tonight.
55 10:06:36:05 10:06:38:05 00:00:02:00 54
And as a restaurant assistant
of a few hours standing,
56 10:06:38:10 10:06:41:02 00:00:02:17 45
she enjoys
to help out decorating the tables.
57 10:07:04:04 10:07:05:09 00:00:01:05 6
Oh no!
58 10:07:10:20 10:07:12:14 00:00:01:19 24
This can’t be true, man!
59 10:07:12:23 10:07:14:18 00:00:01:20 32
They left all the price tags on.
60 10:07:19:10 10:07:20:17 00:00:01:07 18
At the age of five
61 10:07:20:22 10:07:23:15 00:00:02:18 69
Samira accidently sets herself on fire,
while playing with a lighter.
62 10:07:24:20 10:07:26:03 00:00:01:08 29
Although she is up in flames,
63 10:07:26:08 10:07:28:04 00:00:01:21 33
she does not dare
wake our mother
64 10:07:28:09 10:07:29:13 00:00:01:04 17
and cry for help.
65 10:07:42:10 10:07:44:03 00:00:01:18 15
Biene, quickly!
66 10:07:47:18 10:07:48:17 00:00:00:24 11
This is me.
67 10:07:49:17 10:07:51:10 00:00:01:18 25
My name is Biene Pilavci.
68 10:07:52:04 10:07:53:10 00:00:01:06 18
"Birnur" actually.
69 10:07:53:20 10:07:54:23 00:00:01:03 22
It means "holy light",
70 10:07:55:09 10:07:56:18 00:00:01:09 25
but nobody calls me that.
71 10:07:58:05 10:08:00:05 00:00:02:00 39
As a child I would
pop pills at random,
72 10:08:00:10 10:08:02:03 00:00:01:18 27
leading to my being sickly.
73 10:08:02:16 10:08:04:19 00:00:02:03 32
At night I would roam cemeteries
74 10:08:05:00 10:08:07:12 00:00:02:12 43
and try to kill
my parents with rat poison.
75 10:08:08:12 10:08:11:17 00:00:03:05 47
At my own request
I leave home at the age of 12
76 10:08:11:22 10:08:14:04 00:00:02:07 46
and get placed in a
catholic girl’s care home,
77 10:08:14:09 10:08:16:08 00:00:01:24 31
where I will stay
until I’m 18.
78 10:08:22:22 10:08:24:19 00:00:01:22 41
I’ve been living
in Berlin for years now.
79 10:08:25:09 10:08:27:17 00:00:02:08 35
My family and I
are in touch again.
80 10:08:28:11 10:08:30:22 00:00:02:11 40
However we rarely
discuss our childhood.
81 10:08:31:12 10:08:32:16 00:00:01:04 23
It just isn’t possible.
82 10:08:39:23 10:08:41:04 00:00:01:06 20
How are you?
- Fine.
83 10:08:46:09 10:08:47:18 00:00:01:09 22
Our father isn’t here.
84 10:08:48:12 10:08:50:03 00:00:01:16 40
But I am planning
on visiting him soon -
85 10:08:52:07 10:08:53:18 00:00:01:11 24
along with my siblings -
86 10:08:54:20 10:08:55:19 00:00:00:24 23
it has been a long time
87 10:08:56:04 10:08:57:13 00:00:01:09 21
since I last saw him.
88 10:09:08:12 10:09:10:19 00:00:02:07 43
Even though
I long for a wedding like this,
89 10:09:11:01 10:09:13:06 00:00:02:05 28
With a scarf around my hips,
90 10:09:13:12 10:09:16:01 00:00:02:14 32
flowers in my hair and barefoot,
91 10:09:16:15 10:09:18:14 00:00:01:24 35
I have ultimately accepted the fact
92 10:09:19:00 10:09:22:02 00:00:03:02 39
that I will probably
never get married.
93 10:09:23:05 10:09:24:08 00:00:01:03 13
All the best.
94 10:09:24:23 10:09:26:19 00:00:01:21 35
Perhaps that’s why I’m really here,
95 10:09:27:08 10:09:29:20 00:00:02:12 35
to figure out what’s wrong with me.
96 10:09:40:05 10:09:42:01 00:00:01:21 30
Today’s assembly
is the result
97 10:09:42:11 10:09:44:11 00:00:02:00 35
of a journey
that I already started
98 10:09:44:17 10:09:46:11 00:00:01:19 16
in the late 80s.
99 10:09:47:22 10:09:50:02 00:00:02:05 29
Back then I also made a film.
100 10:09:51:07 10:09:52:13 00:00:01:06 22
And now I’m asking mom
101 10:09:52:20 10:09:54:09 00:00:01:14 26
to dig up those old tapes.
102 10:10:10:07 10:10:11:21 00:00:01:14 17
Could you please?
103 10:10:16:22 10:10:18:14 00:00:01:17 22
Let’s get out of here.
104 10:10:35:19 10:10:36:19 00:00:01:00 20
I shoot this footage
105 10:10:36:23 10:10:39:07 00:00:02:09 33
shortly before leaving my family,
106 10:10:40:03 10:10:41:19 00:00:01:16 29
although I’m not really sure,
107 10:10:41:24 10:10:43:17 00:00:01:18 25
if I am aware of the fact
108 10:10:44:01 10:10:45:17 00:00:01:16 30
that these are farewell shots.
109 10:10:52:04 10:10:54:06 00:00:02:02 11
April, 1990
110 10:10:55:18 10:10:56:21 00:00:01:03 11
Dear diary,
111 10:10:57:11 10:10:58:24 00:00:01:13 24
I did something terrible
112 10:10:59:04 10:11:00:16 00:00:01:12 20
these past two days.
113 10:11:02:00 10:11:03:00 00:00:01:00 26
The night before yesterday
114 10:11:03:06 10:11:07:14 00:00:04:08 53
I took different types of
sandpaper from the toolbox.
115 10:11:07:24 10:11:10:08 00:00:02:09 53
For a long time
I looked at myself in the big mirror;
116 10:11:11:06 10:11:12:21 00:00:01:15 20
a tiny little thing.
117 10:11:14:13 10:11:16:03 00:00:01:15 17
Gingerly at first
118 10:11:16:15 10:11:17:24 00:00:01:09 33
and then
with more and more vigor
119 10:11:18:06 10:11:19:17 00:00:01:11 30
I started rubbing off my skin.
120 10:11:20:06 10:11:21:13 00:00:01:07 18
It stung at first.
121 10:11:22:01 10:11:23:03 00:00:01:02 20
But it was worth it.
122 10:11:26:11 10:11:28:02 00:00:01:16 32
If there is such a thing as fate
123 10:11:28:08 10:11:29:19 00:00:01:11 26
then this has to stop now.
124 10:11:30:10 10:11:32:15 00:00:02:05 44
And before I increase
the rat poison dosages
125 10:11:33:02 10:11:34:01 00:00:00:24 21
it’s better to leave.
126 10:11:35:20 10:11:38:13 00:00:02:18 53
Since the youth welfare office told
mother and father
127 10:11:38:19 10:11:41:16 00:00:02:22 57
that we would be taken away from them
at the next beating
128 10:11:41:24 10:11:43:15 00:00:01:16 14
they watch out
129 10:11:43:20 10:11:45:10 00:00:01:15 27
where exactly they beat us.
130 10:11:46:06 10:11:47:03 00:00:00:22 14
I have no idea
131 10:11:47:07 10:11:50:08 00:00:03:01 51
why they are so keen
on keeping us all of a sudden.
132 10:11:51:03 10:11:53:12 00:00:02:09 53
Maybe because
mother wants to ruin everything for me,
133 10:11:53:18 10:11:56:02 00:00:02:09 42
because we have ruined
everything for her.
134 10:11:56:24 10:11:57:22 00:00:00:23 13
To be honest,
135 10:11:58:03 10:11:59:22 00:00:01:19 20
I don’t give a shit.
136 10:12:01:07 10:12:03:05 00:00:01:23 31
Anyway
the next day I showed up
137 10:12:03:10 10:12:05:20 00:00:02:10 37
at school with a
completely raw face.
138 10:12:06:03 10:12:07:18 00:00:01:15 37
And then
things moved fairly quickly.
139 10:12:08:00 10:12:11:14 00:00:03:14 41
They called the
authorities and a doctor.
140 10:12:12:11 10:12:14:01 00:00:01:15 39
It was all pretty
embarrassing, really.
141 10:12:14:06 10:12:16:12 00:00:02:06 46
Even Oli, you know,
the one I have a crush on,
142 10:12:16:17 10:12:18:01 00:00:01:09 39
and who never took
notice of me before,
143 10:12:18:09 10:12:20:15 00:00:02:06 26
he came up to me and asked
144 10:12:20:20 10:12:22:24 00:00:02:04 27
if I had been hit by a car.
145 10:12:24:14 10:12:27:07 00:00:02:18 32
And now
I’m in this smelly room,
146 10:12:27:12 10:12:28:23 00:00:01:11 30
with this disgusting tapestry,
147 10:12:29:03 10:12:30:13 00:00:01:10 19
on this creaky bed,
148 10:12:30:21 10:12:33:07 00:00:02:11 48
on which hundreds of girls
have slept before me.
149 10:12:35:06 10:12:37:12 00:00:02:06 39
It sucks not to have
anyone to talk to.
150 10:12:37:22 10:12:39:20 00:00:01:23 28
Just you,
some stupid diary.
151 10:12:41:04 10:12:44:10 00:00:03:06 40
Well,
I’ll be going to a new school now,
152 10:12:44:19 10:12:47:07 00:00:02:13 41
and there is
going to be a custody trial.
153 10:12:48:01 10:12:49:02 00:00:01:01 31
But the most
important thing is
154 10:12:49:07 10:12:51:15 00:00:02:08 56
that I will never ever be hit
by mother and father again
155 10:12:52:00 10:12:53:17 00:00:01:17 37
or be treated badly in
any other way.
156 10:12:54:07 10:12:55:13 00:00:01:06 21
Can you imagine that?
157 10:12:56:10 10:12:57:12 00:00:01:02 24
A life without anything?
158 10:12:58:15 10:12:59:19 00:00:01:04 24
For me it’s pretty hard.
159 10:13:04:18 10:13:07:24 00:00:03:06 26
Ali, get out of the frame.
160 10:13:09:07 10:13:10:21 00:00:01:14 24
You’re a horrible child.
161 10:13:11:07 10:13:12:23 00:00:01:16 25
He’s doing it on purpose.
162 10:13:14:21 10:13:16:12 00:00:01:16 33
Sit down.
- I didn’t do anything!
163 10:13:17:06 10:13:18:12 00:00:01:06 12
It was Zeki!
164 10:13:20:04 10:13:22:15 00:00:02:11 27
Ali!
What’s wrong with you?
165 10:13:23:04 10:13:25:15 00:00:02:11 23
Go for it, if you dare.
166 10:13:29:11 10:13:31:22 00:00:02:11 38
I bet this child
will hit you one day.
167 10:13:32:19 10:13:34:07 00:00:01:13 19
Well, I hit harder.
168 10:13:37:00 10:13:39:17 00:00:02:17 42
I’m not really sure
that all this is good.
169 10:13:40:09 10:13:42:19 00:00:02:10 39
Because this complete
change also means
170 10:13:43:00 10:13:45:06 00:00:02:06 41
that I will never be able
to return home.
171 10:13:45:14 10:13:47:07 00:00:01:18 36
My brother and sisters
will hate me.
172 10:13:47:12 10:13:49:12 00:00:02:00 48
Because now they will have
to take all the crap.
173 10:13:50:17 10:13:51:11 00:00:00:19 9
And Esra?
174 10:13:52:16 10:13:54:19 00:00:02:03 37
Last year I already
couldn’t be there
175 10:13:55:00 10:13:57:08 00:00:02:08 48
for her 1st birthday -
because of all the pills.
176 10:13:58:09 10:14:00:00 00:00:01:16 33
And now I might never be able to.
177 10:14:05:06 10:14:06:11 00:00:01:05 19
It’s over for good.
178 10:14:28:20 10:14:32:16 00:00:03:21 46
In the old footage
you fall flat on your face.
179 10:14:32:24 10:14:34:08 00:00:01:09 15
And I was like:
180 10:14:34:17 10:14:38:00 00:00:03:08 37
“I see great success
in your future.“
181 10:14:38:08 10:14:40:18 00:00:02:10 31
Let me have a sip.
- No, don’t!
182 10:14:41:22 10:14:43:06 00:00:01:09 24
Look what I got for you.
183 10:14:45:13 10:14:47:14 00:00:02:01 33
Today it’s
Esra’s birthday again.
184 10:14:48:15 10:14:50:14 00:00:01:24 34
All siblings are expected to come.
185 10:14:51:12 10:14:53:11 00:00:01:24 41
Together
we want to spend a pleasant day.
186 10:14:54:08 10:14:56:17 00:00:02:09 48
But unfortunately
no one is coming to her party.
187 10:14:57:15 10:14:59:00 00:00:01:10 30
They want to be left in peace.
188 10:15:00:16 10:15:03:07 00:00:02:16 38
Are you taking off in a minute?
- Yes!
189 10:15:05:06 10:15:09:13 00:00:04:07 70
Contrary to a previous agreement,
they all refuse to appear on camera.
190 10:15:12:02 10:15:15:14 00:00:03:12 53
And Esra is pissed off with me
for ruining her party.
191 10:15:20:08 10:15:21:06 00:00:00:23 14
That’s enough.
192 10:15:28:23 10:15:30:09 00:00:01:11 11
Okay! Esra!
193 10:15:30:17 10:15:32:17 00:00:02:00 32
You’ve fucked things up with me.
194 10:15:33:00 10:15:36:09 00:00:03:09 43
What’s up?
- I’m through with you for good.
195 10:15:40:18 10:15:43:05 00:00:02:12 37
Okay.
- Tell me what’s wrong already?
196 10:15:43:15 10:15:45:18 00:00:02:03 15
Stay out of it.
197 10:15:47:14 10:15:50:00 00:00:02:11 41
Shut up!
I don’t want to see or hear you!
198 10:15:51:07 10:15:54:02 00:00:02:20 50
You’re pissing me off.
Get out! I’m gonna hit you.
199 10:15:54:10 10:15:57:05 00:00:02:20 25
What’s wrong?
- Piss off!
200 10:15:59:03 10:16:00:07 00:00:01:04 12
Such a crap.
201 10:16:00:15 10:16:02:23 00:00:02:08 42
What’s wrong, Geez, calm down.
- Piss off!
202 10:16:16:19 10:16:18:00 00:00:01:06 7
Mother.
203 10:16:22:11 10:16:25:08 00:00:02:22 47
Don’t go. - I’m not going.
- I'll eat that all.
204 10:16:27:00 10:16:29:01 00:00:02:01 15
Eat...Whatever.
205 10:16:35:08 10:16:37:14 00:00:02:06 31
Weren’t there any small spoons?
206 10:17:35:20 10:17:37:21 00:00:02:01 16
Ah, Hello Özcan.
207 10:17:38:18 10:17:41:18 00:00:03:00 34
Thank the Lord, I’m fine.
And you?
208 10:17:42:16 10:17:45:23 00:00:03:07 54
It’s not the right moment.
I’ll call you back tonight.
209 10:17:57:18 10:18:01:05 00:00:03:12 39
Hey Theo,
are you calling all the time?
210 10:18:02:09 10:18:04:06 00:00:01:22 20
Hold on a sec.
Kurd!
211 10:18:08:17 10:18:10:12 00:00:01:20 24
You still sleeping, man?
212 10:18:12:18 10:18:14:12 00:00:01:19 17
Go back to sleep.
213 10:18:20:00 10:18:23:07 00:00:03:07 44
Yes, give me a call
when you’re awake, okay?
214 10:18:28:19 10:18:30:04 00:00:01:10 5
Theo!
215 10:18:30:24 10:18:33:18 00:00:02:19 41
I had to keep you
waiting there a minute.
216 10:18:34:23 10:18:36:04 00:00:01:06 10
Yeah, man!
217 10:18:39:24 10:18:41:20 00:00:01:21 30
Just look at all the homeless.
218 10:18:43:06 10:18:46:01 00:00:02:20 55
They all want to get arrested
before the winter starts,
219 10:18:46:09 10:18:49:12 00:00:03:03 55
so they can go to jail
and don’t have to sleep outside.
220 10:18:50:17 10:18:53:06 00:00:02:14 40
‘Coz if they go to the homeless
shelter,
221 10:18:53:14 10:18:55:22 00:00:02:08 40
they’ll also have to accept
the 1 € job.
222 10:18:56:05 10:18:59:19 00:00:03:14 56
And I say, before I do that,
I’d also rather go to jail.
223 10:19:01:12 10:19:04:04 00:00:02:17 44
But now you wouldn’t
go back to jail, right?
224 10:19:04:14 10:19:07:04 00:00:02:15 34
Now you’ve pretty much settled in.
225 10:19:08:00 10:19:09:02 00:00:01:02 11
Settled in?
226 10:19:12:03 10:19:15:12 00:00:03:09 59
In jail you don’t have any problems.
You’ve got no worries.
227 10:19:16:15 10:19:19:09 00:00:02:19 47
It’s true.
You don’t have any problems in jail.
228 10:19:20:09 10:19:22:04 00:00:01:20 29
If you switch off your brain.
229 10:19:22:19 10:19:24:09 00:00:01:15 24
I was doing okay, Biene.
230 10:19:24:17 10:19:26:24 00:00:02:07 43
I had food every day,
could cook every day.
231 10:19:30:06 10:19:33:15 00:00:03:09 61
But you had to subordinate
to all those rules and everything.
232 10:19:34:02 10:19:35:07 00:00:01:05 16
We had no rules.
233 10:19:36:02 10:19:38:19 00:00:02:17 37
Outside there are just as many rules.
234 10:19:39:10 10:19:42:02 00:00:02:17 53
There are as many rules.
- But they’re not as strict.
235 10:19:42:10 10:19:44:17 00:00:02:07 41
Outside you’re not being told
what to do.
236 10:19:45:08 10:19:48:22 00:00:03:14 71
I believe the rules on the outside
are much harsher than on the inside.
237 10:19:51:00 10:19:53:14 00:00:02:14 42
’Coz out there anything
can happen to you.
238 10:19:53:22 10:19:55:20 00:00:01:23 37
In there, things don’t happen to you.
239 10:19:56:04 10:19:58:24 00:00:02:20 54
If you stick to the rules.
And there aren’t that many.
240 10:19:59:16 10:20:02:11 00:00:02:20 55
But there was very little room.
Didn’t that bother you?
241 10:20:02:19 10:20:05:07 00:00:02:13 42
I had a solitary cell.
Nobody bothered me.
242 10:20:05:15 10:20:08:04 00:00:02:14 45
Single room?
Is that something special there?
243 10:20:09:20 10:20:12:04 00:00:02:09 43
Not everyone gets it.
- Why did you get it?
244 10:20:13:00 10:20:15:21 00:00:02:21 49
’Coz I lost my shit.
- How long were you in jail?
245 10:20:16:15 10:20:19:13 00:00:02:23 28
19 months, 28 days, 6 hours.
246 10:20:23:12 10:20:25:23 00:00:02:11 38
I was released at 6 a.m. in Heilbronn.
247 10:20:27:10 10:20:28:19 00:00:01:09 17
Heilbronn?
- Yes.
248 10:20:29:08 10:20:31:04 00:00:01:21 35
That’s where dad used to be, right?
249 10:20:31:14 10:20:33:17 00:00:02:03 29
I was on the same floor, too.
250 10:20:34:20 10:20:38:23 00:00:04:03 53
Didn’t they say
you were just like Mr. Pilavci? - No.
251 10:20:40:21 10:20:43:20 00:00:02:24 51
Father was in jail for rape,
I was there for drugs.
252 10:20:44:03 10:20:47:15 00:00:03:12 57
Mother denounced father
for raping her. Which isn’t true.
253 10:20:47:23 10:20:50:00 00:00:02:02 39
I carried him up to his bed that night.
254 10:20:50:19 10:20:52:19 00:00:02:00 37
He couldn’t
climb the stairs anymore.
255 10:20:53:06 10:20:55:01 00:00:01:20 33
Had I known what mother
would do,
256 10:20:55:09 10:20:57:10 00:00:02:01 42
I would have let him
sleep it off outside.
257 10:20:57:18 10:21:00:16 00:00:02:23 54
Why couldn’t he climb the stairs?
- ’Coz he was drunk!
258 10:21:03:10 10:21:05:21 00:00:02:11 46
You know how father was:
a wino, an alcoholic.
259 10:21:06:04 10:21:08:16 00:00:02:12 45
And that’s why he wasn’t able
to rape mother?
260 10:21:09:08 10:21:13:08 00:00:04:00 40
On that day,
I put food in front of him,
261 10:21:14:03 10:21:17:09 00:00:03:06 34
and he couldn’t even feed himself.
262 10:21:17:17 10:21:20:13 00:00:02:21 53
He’s supposed to have raped a woman?
Are you kidding?
263 10:21:25:08 10:21:28:03 00:00:02:20 30
And then I hear from Samira...
264 10:21:28:23 10:21:30:20 00:00:01:22 20
"My father wanted...
265 10:21:31:14 10:21:34:23 00:00:03:09 61
Dad also tried it with me.“
Then I hear the same from Ilknur.
266 10:21:35:06 10:21:36:13 00:00:01:07 23
Are you all kidding me?
267 10:21:37:00 10:21:39:24 00:00:02:24 52
Are you ALL kidding me?
Did he try it with you, too?
268 10:21:40:07 10:21:42:07 00:00:02:00 41
Y’all know me.
You know exactly how I am.
269 10:21:42:15 10:21:45:10 00:00:02:20 46
If somebody says to me
“Dad tried to rape me.“
270 10:21:45:18 10:21:47:07 00:00:01:14 30
I would have killed my father.
271 10:21:48:02 10:21:50:10 00:00:02:08 44
I wouldn’t have called him
“father“ anymore.
272 10:21:53:10 10:21:55:23 00:00:02:13 39
Maybe that’s why they haven’t told you.
273 10:21:56:06 10:21:58:20 00:00:02:14 41
Because they didn’t really
wish him dead.
274 10:21:59:08 10:22:01:23 00:00:02:15 48
They maybe better should
keep their mouths shut.
275 10:22:03:06 10:22:04:22 00:00:01:16 20
When he was in jail.
276 10:22:05:13 10:22:08:10 00:00:02:22 46
And talk about things
that happened years ago.
277 10:22:15:01 10:22:17:04 00:00:02:03 32
That’s why I don’t believe them.
278 10:22:18:14 10:22:20:18 00:00:02:04 31
I don’t believe either of them.
279 10:22:25:24 10:22:28:19 00:00:02:20 43
Biene, you should be glad
you weren’t here.
280 10:22:29:03 10:22:32:24 00:00:03:21 38
Be glad you weren’t here for all this.
281 10:22:33:07 10:22:36:02 00:00:02:20 46
That’s why she did it.
It wasn't easy for her.
282 10:22:36:10 10:22:39:11 00:00:03:01 51
She just wanted to get rid of him
once and for all.
283 10:22:39:18 10:22:41:10 00:00:01:17 9
So, what?
284 10:22:42:13 10:22:45:12 00:00:02:24 48
Is that how you have
to get rid of your husband?
285 10:22:45:20 10:22:47:12 00:00:01:17 18
With rape charges?
286 10:22:47:20 10:22:50:12 00:00:02:17 36
There was no other way.
- There was!
287 10:22:50:20 10:22:54:09 00:00:03:14 66
If she had just dealt with it
one more year; I would have been 18.
288 10:22:54:17 10:22:56:22 00:00:02:05 9
I was 17.
289 10:22:57:14 10:23:02:15 00:00:05:01 65
D’you think father would have still
come home drunk off his face?
290 10:23:02:23 10:23:05:17 00:00:02:19 40
Father would never have
come home drunk.
291 10:23:06:07 10:23:10:08 00:00:04:01 69
“Either you knock off that bullshit,
or you don’t come back. Period.“
292 10:23:12:00 10:23:14:22 00:00:02:22 45
Period, Biene.
I would have protected mother.
293 10:23:15:05 10:23:18:02 00:00:02:22 24
I wanted to protect her.
294 10:23:18:10 10:23:20:10 00:00:02:00 26
But she didn’t want me to.
295 10:23:20:18 10:23:22:18 00:00:02:00 31
It was slightly different, Ali.
296 10:23:24:03 10:23:28:16 00:00:04:13 53
Shortly before mother went
to see you in Ludwigsburg,
297 10:23:30:04 10:23:33:17 00:00:03:13 49
I nearly killed her,
if I had had a proper knife.
298 10:23:34:00 10:23:36:17 00:00:02:17 50
That’s why I found her
a flat outside of Backnang.
299 10:23:37:00 10:23:40:19 00:00:03:19 30
But why did I almost kill her?
300 10:23:41:02 10:23:42:14 00:00:01:12 11
Why?
- Why?
301 10:23:42:23 10:23:47:03 00:00:04:05 67
My little sister is sleeping next door
and she’s screwing some guy.
302 10:23:50:04 10:23:52:07 00:00:02:03 18
Biene, that’s why.
303 10:23:52:15 10:23:56:11 00:00:03:21 65
And I still regret that I didn’t have
a proper knife at the time.
304 10:23:58:07 10:24:00:09 00:00:02:02 40
Actually, it’s good
you didn’t have one.
305 10:24:00:18 10:24:01:22 00:00:01:04 18
I still regret it.
306 10:24:06:24 10:24:10:11 00:00:03:12 45
Does Ali think
I wasn’t a good mother to him?
307 10:24:10:19 10:24:12:24 00:00:02:05 18
Among other things
308 10:24:13:10 10:24:15:19 00:00:02:09 11
that you...
309 10:24:20:17 10:24:23:00 00:00:02:08 35
deliberately set a trap
for father.
310 10:24:23:08 10:24:24:17 00:00:01:09 7
Indeed!
311 10:24:27:19 10:24:30:09 00:00:02:15 50
He has no clue what I had
to take from his father.
312 10:24:31:15 10:24:33:23 00:00:02:08 40
If he loves him so,
he should go to him.
313 10:24:34:06 10:24:36:17 00:00:02:11 42
That’s his plan.
He wants to kick his ass.
314 10:24:37:10 10:24:39:21 00:00:02:11 29
Whose ass? - Father’s.
- Why?
315 10:24:40:08 10:24:43:07 00:00:02:24 50
That’s the part of the story
I didn’t get, either.
316 10:24:43:15 10:24:45:12 00:00:01:22 26
You should have asked him.
317 10:24:45:22 10:24:47:13 00:00:01:16 17
I didn’t, though.
318 10:25:00:21 10:25:02:24 00:00:02:03 25
Biene, go to your father.
319 10:25:05:12 10:25:07:16 00:00:02:04 45
That’s the man
my brother was talking about -
320 10:25:08:05 10:25:09:11 00:00:01:06 11
our father.
321 10:25:10:02 10:25:13:01 00:00:02:24 54
Here he is spending
the summer with me in his village.
322 10:25:13:18 10:25:18:08 00:00:04:15 66
When he came as a worker to Germany
all by himself in the mid-70s,
323 10:25:18:18 10:25:20:09 00:00:01:16 34
his parents at home
suggest a girl
324 10:25:20:14 10:25:22:24 00:00:02:10 40
from a neighboring village
as his bride.
325 10:25:23:18 10:25:26:12 00:00:02:19 38
He isn’t picky
and marries our mother.
326 10:25:27:09 10:25:32:06 00:00:04:22 55
After having served time
for beating and raping mother,
327 10:25:32:12 10:25:35:16 00:00:03:04 39
he was deported
back to Turkey in 2001.
328 10:25:36:14 10:25:38:14 00:00:02:00 36
Since that time
we haven’t seen him.
329 10:25:38:22 10:25:40:10 00:00:01:13 40
Up until now
this has been a good thing.
330 10:26:42:10 10:26:43:22 00:00:01:12 24
Why is my mother crying?
331 10:26:44:18 10:26:46:20 00:00:02:02 34
Is she crying
for her late father?
332 10:26:48:23 10:26:51:07 00:00:02:09 47
When she is being married off
to an "Alamanci",
333 10:26:51:12 10:26:53:18 00:00:02:06 44
a Turkish immigrant worker
at the age of 15,
334 10:26:53:24 10:26:56:15 00:00:02:16 57
her father is not only counting
on a massive bride price,
335 10:26:56:20 10:27:00:03 00:00:03:08 58
but also on a wheelchair
for his two smoker’s legs stumps.
336 10:27:00:08 10:27:02:07 00:00:01:24 33
His future
son-in-law is planning
337 10:27:02:12 10:27:04:13 00:00:02:01 26
to purchase it in Germany.
338 10:27:05:18 10:27:07:15 00:00:01:22 38
That would stop
the villagers’ gawping
339 10:27:07:20 10:27:11:17 00:00:03:22 66
at his wife’s having to carry him
through the village on her back.
340 10:27:16:23 10:27:19:20 00:00:02:22 65
On the morning of the wedding
while all the men are at the mosque
341 10:27:20:01 10:27:22:15 00:00:02:14 42
my granny Halime
whispers to her daughter:
342 10:27:23:03 10:27:25:07 00:00:02:04 30
"Run away if you have a lover.
343 10:27:25:12 10:27:26:15 00:00:01:03 31
Hide in the mountains together.
344 10:27:26:22 10:27:28:05 00:00:01:08 26
And do better than I did."
345 10:27:29:19 10:27:33:01 00:00:03:07 61
But my mother Beyhan
doesn’t have a lover who could save her.
346 10:27:35:06 10:27:38:04 00:00:02:23 56
On this day the whole village
is dancing at her wedding.
347 10:27:38:18 10:27:39:17 00:00:00:24 16
Three days later
348 10:27:39:24 10:27:42:04 00:00:02:05 41
the stranger Mehmet
takes her to Germany.
349 10:27:45:22 10:27:48:09 00:00:02:12 53
There the shepherdess finds work
in the assembly line
350 10:27:48:14 10:27:50:05 00:00:01:16 37
of the chainsaw manufacturer "Stihl".
351 10:27:50:16 10:27:52:23 00:00:02:07 48
There she is also supposed
to learn how to read.
352 10:27:53:15 10:27:55:03 00:00:01:13 56
That however will seize to be
an option fairly early on,
353 10:27:55:07 10:27:57:07 00:00:02:00 44
as she severs two of her
fingertips at work.
354 10:28:00:16 10:28:03:14 00:00:02:23 50
Four years shall pass
before her first visit home.
355 10:28:04:07 10:28:05:19 00:00:01:12 44
She’s going to be a mother
of three by then.
356 10:28:06:00 10:28:07:12 00:00:01:12 28
A fourth child is on the way
357 10:28:07:20 10:28:11:01 00:00:03:06 53
before she gives birth
to her last child years later.
358 10:28:11:20 10:28:12:21 00:00:01:01 35
And her father Ahmet
is still being
359 10:28:13:02 10:28:15:15 00:00:02:13 47
carried through the village
on his wife’s back.
360 10:28:16:00 10:28:18:19 00:00:02:19 48
For the bad roads
of the village the wheelechair
361 10:28:19:03 10:28:20:13 00:00:01:10 22
will prove unsuitable.
362 10:28:29:21 10:28:30:23 00:00:01:02 12
I’m not sure
363 10:28:31:04 10:28:33:19 00:00:02:15 51
if mother will ever be
able to forgive per parents.
364 10:29:04:08 10:29:06:06 00:00:01:23 34
"Would you like a glass of water?"
365 10:29:07:09 10:29:09:12 00:00:02:03 32
Would you like a glass of water?
366 10:29:09:21 10:29:13:07 00:00:03:11 35
No, I would like some orange juice.
367 10:29:13:15 10:29:16:15 00:00:03:00 53
Exactly. Or: “No, I’d rather have
some orange juice.”
368 10:29:16:23 10:29:20:16 00:00:03:18 28
Now Mrs. Calis.
Ask Andreas.
369 10:29:23:24 10:29:26:17 00:00:02:18 31
“Would you like coffee or tea?“
370 10:29:27:12 10:29:29:20 00:00:02:08 38
Yes? Mrs. Calis,
you go ahead and ask.
371 10:29:30:07 10:29:32:23 00:00:02:16 31
Hello...I can also say “hello”.
372 10:29:34:20 10:29:38:02 00:00:03:07 36
Would you like coffee or tea?
- Tea.
373 10:29:38:10 10:29:39:17 00:00:01:07 14
“Tea, please.”
374 10:29:40:00 10:29:42:04 00:00:02:04 23
Tea, please.
- Alright.
375 10:30:19:15 10:30:21:03 00:00:01:13 22
Biene, you stupid cow!
376 10:30:23:19 10:30:25:05 00:00:01:11 20
One day in midsummer
377 10:30:25:10 10:30:27:17 00:00:02:07 44
Abla comes home
late from the swimming pool.
378 10:30:28:16 10:30:31:09 00:00:02:18 53
Mother confronts her
and starts giving her a beating.
379 10:30:31:20 10:30:34:03 00:00:02:08 52
Abla tears herself free
and runs out of the kitchen.
380 10:30:34:17 10:30:37:21 00:00:03:04 63
Mother grabs something at random
and throws it after her child.
381 10:30:38:09 10:30:39:24 00:00:01:15 26
Abla gets hit in the back.
382 10:30:40:05 10:30:41:08 00:00:01:03 13
She flinches.
383 10:30:41:12 10:30:42:09 00:00:00:22 15
Then a clatter.
384 10:30:42:16 10:30:44:09 00:00:01:18 34
A sharp knife falls to the ground.
385 10:30:44:19 10:30:47:20 00:00:03:01 48
Abla’s back gapes open
and her lung can be seen.
386 10:30:49:07 10:30:51:09 00:00:02:02 28
A sight I will never forget:
387 10:30:51:21 10:30:55:17 00:00:03:21 53
A pink cluster of vibrating,
corn-seed-sized pellets.
388 10:30:58:00 10:31:01:11 00:00:03:11 56
Not that many are coming.
Would completely lose my cool.
389 10:31:01:19 10:31:04:02 00:00:02:08 24
That many aren’t coming.
390 10:31:04:10 10:31:07:20 00:00:03:10 24
Where?
- To the concert.
391 10:31:08:03 10:31:10:14 00:00:02:11 35
The concert is in a big auditorium.
392 10:31:10:22 10:31:14:02 00:00:03:05 52
Not too many are coming.
I would completely lose it.
393 10:31:14:10 10:31:16:22 00:00:02:12 20
Why?
- Just because.
394 10:31:22:11 10:31:24:08 00:00:01:22 27
Mother, come here a minute.
395 10:31:25:19 10:31:27:04 00:00:01:10 7
Scared?
396 10:31:27:10 10:31:29:07 00:00:01:22 12
Oral herpes.
397 10:31:52:24 10:31:55:03 00:00:02:04 12
You like it?
398 10:31:56:05 10:31:58:07 00:00:02:02 23
When the wolf gets old,
399 10:31:59:05 10:32:02:12 00:00:03:07 47
he turns into a masquerade.
- What do you mean?
400 10:32:04:00 10:32:06:13 00:00:02:13 38
That woman is poking fun at her guest.
401 10:32:07:00 10:32:08:08 00:00:01:08 11
What woman?
402 10:32:10:03 10:32:12:12 00:00:02:09 23
Esra, the TV presenter.
403 10:32:14:15 10:32:18:06 00:00:03:16 57
The studio guests.
Everyone is poking fun at the elderly.
404 10:32:18:23 10:32:20:06 00:00:01:08 21
Mother is wary of me.
405 10:32:20:17 10:32:25:03 00:00:04:11 63
Perhaps because there’s no one -
except her, me and the camera.
406 10:32:25:09 10:32:27:04 00:00:01:20 11
Old saying.
407 10:32:27:12 10:32:30:09 00:00:02:22 42
This is the first talk
we’ve had in years.
408 10:32:30:20 10:32:33:11 00:00:02:16 47
Would you like to go
to the wedding show? - No.
409 10:32:33:20 10:32:35:02 00:00:01:07 8
Why not?
410 10:32:35:10 10:32:37:16 00:00:02:06 39
You’re looking for a husband after all.
411 10:32:38:08 10:32:39:10 00:00:01:02 3
So?
412 10:32:45:02 10:32:47:11 00:00:02:09 41
Every time your Abla
does the same thing.
413 10:32:48:05 10:32:51:07 00:00:03:02 50
As soon as she’s here
she needs to take off again.
414 10:32:52:01 10:32:53:19 00:00:01:18 24
What do I get out of it?
415 10:32:56:16 10:32:59:03 00:00:02:12 36
Is that why you want to get married?
416 10:33:06:23 10:33:08:10 00:00:01:12 25
Because I’m always alone.
417 10:33:09:16 10:33:11:19 00:00:02:03 38
For a conversation you need a partner.
418 10:33:17:21 10:33:20:13 00:00:02:17 37
Once you’ve found someone to talk to,
419 10:33:20:21 10:33:23:15 00:00:02:19 38
will you still be watching so much TV?
420 10:33:26:20 10:33:29:05 00:00:02:10 27
But that’s completely nuts.
421 10:33:30:16 10:33:34:02 00:00:03:11 33
We could talk about what’s on TV!
422 10:33:37:15 10:33:41:07 00:00:03:17 44
She murdered
the blonde’s daughter. In jail.
423 10:33:42:03 10:33:43:17 00:00:01:14 27
She had set a trap for her.
424 10:33:44:00 10:33:45:07 00:00:01:07 9
For real?
425 10:33:45:15 10:33:48:04 00:00:02:14 21
No, just in the show.
426 10:33:49:12 10:33:51:12 00:00:02:00 21
The blonde’s daughter
427 10:33:57:19 10:34:00:18 00:00:02:24 34
has her boyfriend make her a baby.
428 10:34:03:14 10:34:06:07 00:00:02:18 35
He was also her mother’s boyfriend!
429 10:34:07:04 10:34:09:18 00:00:02:14 49
That’s why her mother
murders her own grandchild.
430 10:34:10:01 10:34:13:16 00:00:03:15 58
Yes? - The granny kills her
own grandchild out of revenge.
431 10:34:13:24 10:34:16:09 00:00:02:10 25
and gets convicted for it
432 10:34:17:23 10:34:22:11 00:00:04:13 58
That makes her daughter mad,
of course, and she takes off.
433 10:34:24:00 10:34:26:16 00:00:02:16 13
October, 1995
434 10:34:27:16 10:34:28:19 00:00:01:03 11
Dear diary,
435 10:34:29:08 10:34:34:07 00:00:04:24 56
It’s been 3 days
since I checked myself out of hospital.
436 10:34:34:13 10:34:37:13 00:00:03:00 50
There has to be some advantages
to being an adult.
437 10:34:37:17 10:34:41:11 00:00:03:19 67
Due to some stupid coincidence
my family heard about my break-down.
438 10:34:42:00 10:34:44:20 00:00:02:20 47
Mother and Abla did not pass up
the opportunity
439 10:34:45:00 10:34:48:00 00:00:03:00 38
to visit me and to tell me,
yet again,
440 10:34:48:05 10:34:50:11 00:00:02:06 36
what they think
of my pathetic life.
441 10:34:50:22 10:34:53:23 00:00:03:01 57
When the night nurse
reminded them of the visiting hours,
442 10:34:54:03 10:34:58:06 00:00:04:03 59
they outdid each other
in cursing me and then finally left.
443 10:34:58:20 10:35:00:10 00:00:01:15 33
Afterwards I ran into the garden.
444 10:35:00:23 10:35:02:19 00:00:01:21 37
I let myself fall into the wet grass.
445 10:35:03:19 10:35:05:17 00:00:01:23 25
The only thing I remember
446 10:35:05:22 10:35:07:23 00:00:02:01 39
is my pulling out
the hypodermic needle
447 10:35:08:06 10:35:11:12 00:00:03:06 48
and feeling my eyelids
relax from their tension.
448 10:35:12:15 10:35:13:14 00:00:00:24 22
I later found out that
449 10:35:13:19 10:35:15:16 00:00:01:22 49
a construction worker
had carried me back inside.
450 10:35:16:02 10:35:19:16 00:00:03:14 61
The next morning I took steps
to be safe from further visits.
451 10:35:20:24 10:35:24:14 00:00:03:15 58
Mother, STOP. I’m getting dizzy.
How do you know all that?
452 10:35:25:02 10:35:26:12 00:00:01:10 20
I’m always watching.
453 10:35:27:12 10:35:30:03 00:00:02:16 24
Geez!
You know everyone.
454 10:35:31:20 10:35:35:22 00:00:04:02 69
Well, in the evenings I always watch TV.
There is nothing else to do.
455 10:35:37:13 10:35:40:14 00:00:03:01 31
That’s how I get through a day.
456 10:35:41:04 10:35:43:05 00:00:02:01 22
What else should I do?
457 10:35:44:13 10:35:45:15 00:00:01:02 15
I don’t go out.
458 10:35:46:02 10:35:49:21 00:00:03:19 63
You’ll never find a husband like this.
- Going out costs money.
459 10:35:50:06 10:35:53:17 00:00:03:11 37
And I don’t like going out on my own.
460 10:35:55:01 10:35:58:11 00:00:03:10 54
And in this weather.
- Then take up knitting, like me.
461 10:35:58:22 10:36:00:11 00:00:01:14 28
Then you can knit at a café.
462 10:36:01:18 10:36:05:00 00:00:03:07 22
Or what about reading?
463 10:36:06:13 10:36:09:05 00:00:02:17 53
Before reading at a café
I might as well sit at home.
464 10:36:09:15 10:36:12:04 00:00:02:14 48
And you will never meet
anyone this way, either.
465 10:36:12:15 10:36:17:05 00:00:04:15 58
If you just sit in a café
knitting and not looking around.
466 10:36:20:02 10:36:21:20 00:00:01:18 16
Human or animal?
467 10:36:22:01 10:36:24:14 00:00:02:13 32
You need at least 8 hours sleep.
468 10:36:25:20 10:36:30:14 00:00:04:19 40
10 are better.
- Biene, stop filming me.
469 10:36:32:04 10:36:35:12 00:00:03:08 36
You’re going to be a Hollywood Star.
470 10:36:35:20 10:36:37:20 00:00:02:00 11
No, thanks.
471 10:36:38:03 10:36:41:14 00:00:03:11 54
Mother, she’s filming your ugliness.
And dad’s beauty.
472 10:36:41:22 10:36:45:13 00:00:03:16 47
Man, you’re so stupid.
Insulting her like that.
473 10:36:46:13 10:36:48:01 00:00:01:13 13
I don’t care.
474 10:36:48:13 10:36:52:01 00:00:03:13 42
Which one of us is prettier:
mother or me?
475 10:36:53:10 10:36:54:15 00:00:01:05 8
Neither.
476 10:36:55:22 10:36:58:13 00:00:02:16 38
She means you’re equally good-looking.
477 10:36:59:03 10:37:00:21 00:00:01:18 21
What are you washing?
478 10:37:02:21 10:37:04:05 00:00:01:09 9
Get lost!
479 10:37:14:08 10:37:16:14 00:00:02:06 39
Where have you been, Mikail?
- Nowhere.
480 10:37:16:22 10:37:17:24 00:00:01:02 12
How are you?
481 10:37:19:08 10:37:20:09 00:00:01:01 13
Fine, thanks.
482 10:37:20:22 10:37:23:17 00:00:02:20 38
Hi, what are you doing?
- Job hunting.
483 10:37:24:00 10:37:25:09 00:00:01:09 15
For you?
- Yes.
484 10:37:26:05 10:37:27:06 00:00:01:01 19
No one’s answering.
485 10:37:27:15 10:37:30:15 00:00:03:00 15
Good afternoon?
486 10:37:27:15 10:37:30:15 00:00:03:00 31
- Yes, hello, my name is Sefer.
487 10:37:30:23 10:37:34:09 00:00:03:11 54
Is Mr...I can’t remember his name,
but is the boss in?
488 10:37:34:17 10:37:37:02 00:00:02:10 10
Mr. Acker?
489 10:37:34:17 10:37:37:02 00:00:02:10 24
- There is no Mr. Acker.
490 10:37:37:10 10:37:39:14 00:00:02:04 30
I think he was the son-in-law.
491 10:37:40:09 10:37:42:15 00:00:02:06 14
Mr. Achenbach.
492 10:37:40:09 10:37:42:15 00:00:02:06 22
- Mr. Achenbach, okay.
493 10:37:42:22 10:37:44:17 00:00:01:20 17
And you are Mrs-?
494 10:37:42:22 10:37:44:17 00:00:01:20 8
- Sefer,
495 10:37:45:01 10:37:47:24 00:00:02:23 42
I just wanted to ask
about my application.
496 10:37:48:07 10:37:51:08 00:00:03:01 29
I handed it in two weeks ago.
497 10:37:51:18 10:37:55:05 00:00:03:12 43
I just wanted to know
what will happen now.
498 10:37:56:01 10:37:58:15 00:00:02:14 30
If he decided anything or not.
499 10:38:07:14 10:38:09:12 00:00:01:23 29
Now I’m in a bad mood.
- Why?
500 10:38:10:13 10:38:12:02 00:00:01:14 27
Because it didn’t work out.
501 10:38:13:07 10:38:16:18 00:00:03:11 65
“Hello, I just wanted to ask,
if you have come to a decision yet.
502 10:38:17:01 10:38:21:01 00:00:04:00 63
Would it be possible to speak with
Mr. Ackermann.“ Or whatever.
503 10:38:21:09 10:38:23:17 00:00:02:08 48
You have to know
the guy’s name before you call.
504 10:38:24:00 10:38:26:03 00:00:02:03 52
You can’t say:
“Hello, what’s the boss’ name again?”
505 10:38:26:17 10:38:28:24 00:00:02:07 34
I lost the friggin’ business card.
506 10:38:29:07 10:38:31:06 00:00:01:24 33
But you’ve saved the application.
507 10:38:31:14 10:38:34:04 00:00:02:15 42
You could have checked
who you sent it to.
508 10:38:34:12 10:38:36:23 00:00:02:11 30
But I didn’t think about that.
509 10:38:38:07 10:38:40:12 00:00:02:05 32
Biene, what am I supposed to do?
510 10:38:40:21 10:38:43:12 00:00:02:16 37
My self-esteem is completely crushed.
511 10:38:43:21 10:38:45:13 00:00:01:17 10
No wonder!
512 10:38:47:17 10:38:50:22 00:00:03:05 43
Salamander Shoewear.
But that’s probably...
513 10:38:51:17 10:38:55:15 00:00:03:23 68
“Yes, we may. - Great, could I
send you an unsolicited application?“
514 10:38:58:16 10:39:01:13 00:00:02:22 40
Should I give it a try?
Give that to me.
515 10:39:04:11 10:39:06:22 00:00:02:11 33
Goertz Stuttgart, how may I help?
516 10:39:07:05 10:39:09:14 00:00:02:09 35
Good afternoon.
My name is Pilavci.
517 10:39:10:05 10:39:12:07 00:00:02:02 17
Hang on a minute.
518 10:39:34:11 10:39:37:04 00:00:02:18 53
What is that?
- I got it for our wedding anniversary.
519 10:39:37:12 10:39:39:04 00:00:01:17 25
How did you get the idea?
520 10:39:39:12 10:39:43:09 00:00:03:22 75
I paid 200 € for that crap and it didn’t
even turn out the way I wanted it.
521 10:39:43:17 10:39:45:15 00:00:01:23 25
HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
522 10:39:46:06 10:39:48:20 00:00:02:14 51
How did you get
the idea to do something like that?
523 10:39:49:10 10:39:50:24 00:00:01:14 22
I saw that at Canan’s.
524 10:39:51:16 10:39:53:08 00:00:01:17 32
And I thought it was really nice
525 10:39:53:23 10:39:58:15 00:00:04:17 70
and that for a 10th wedding anniversary
I should do something special.
526 10:39:58:23 10:40:03:02 00:00:04:04 73
Something nice, instead of just buying
some crappy underpants or perfume.
527 10:40:03:10 10:40:05:23 00:00:02:13 48
The guy was a moron.
No way do I look like that.
528 10:40:06:06 10:40:07:22 00:00:01:16 34
He made me look like Samantha Fox.
529 10:40:08:08 10:40:11:04 00:00:02:21 38
Then we emailed him, like a complaint.
530 10:40:11:12 10:40:14:02 00:00:02:15 38
I said he should put me in torn jeans.
531 10:40:14:14 10:40:18:12 00:00:03:23 66
Then I said one foot should be
in sneakers and the other in pumps.
532 10:40:18:20 10:40:20:21 00:00:02:01 14
And this book?
533 10:40:21:15 10:40:24:14 00:00:02:24 33
“The Secrets to a Happy Marriage“
534 10:40:25:08 10:40:27:19 00:00:02:11 44
As if I knew the secrets
to a good marriage.
535 10:40:28:21 10:40:31:08 00:00:02:12 46
You just had your
10 year wedding anniversary!
536 10:40:31:16 10:40:33:11 00:00:01:20 38
Obviously you know
something about it.
537 10:40:33:19 10:40:35:01 00:00:01:07 12
Such a crap.
538 10:40:35:09 10:40:36:12 00:00:01:03 14
I wrote to him
539 10:40:36:20 10:40:39:01 00:00:02:06 43
he should draw his hand
around my shoulder,
540 10:40:39:18 10:40:42:18 00:00:03:00 65
in the other one holding his laptop
and wearing a leather jacket.
541 10:40:43:03 10:40:46:09 00:00:03:06 66
Are you listening, you dumb ass?
- Of course! You’re the dumb ass!
542 10:40:46:17 10:40:49:16 00:00:02:24 29
And definitely those bubbles,
543 10:40:50:01 10:40:52:18 00:00:02:17 50
that say ”Oddset, Oddset”,
cause he likes betting.
544 10:40:53:00 10:40:54:17 00:00:01:17 26
Thought bubbles.
- Abla...
545 10:40:55:12 10:40:57:14 00:00:02:02 24
your marriage, right,...
546 10:40:59:18 10:41:01:06 00:00:01:13 19
how do you like it?
547 10:41:01:14 10:41:04:01 00:00:02:12 35
Very nice, I can only recommend it.
548 10:41:07:04 10:41:09:14 00:00:02:10 24
Seriously, though, Abla.
549 10:41:12:05 10:41:14:17 00:00:02:12 48
Of course there are problems
every now and then.
550 10:41:15:00 10:41:18:18 00:00:03:18 50
That’s normal in any marriage.
It’s not all bliss.
551 10:41:19:09 10:41:22:15 00:00:03:06 60
It’s not like in a children’s book;
all’s well and whatever.
552 10:41:22:23 10:41:24:24 00:00:02:01 37
Maybe it’s like that
for the Germans.
553 10:41:25:07 10:41:27:01 00:00:01:19 29
Whenever I’m here, you fight.
554 10:41:27:09 10:41:30:00 00:00:02:16 38
Yes, because he doesn’t want you here.
555 10:41:30:08 10:41:33:09 00:00:03:01 52
Because he doesn’t like you.
- So now it’s my fault.
556 10:41:33:17 10:41:36:14 00:00:02:22 42
Why isn’t he like this
around his parents?
557 10:41:36:22 10:41:39:20 00:00:02:23 20
Or when we’re alone?
558 10:41:41:17 10:41:43:03 00:00:01:11 8
Tell me.
559 10:41:43:19 10:41:46:01 00:00:02:07 45
You aren’t like that
when you’re alone? - No.
560 10:41:47:07 10:41:50:03 00:00:02:21 49
Look, we spent
the entire day together yesterday.
561 10:41:50:11 10:41:53:24 00:00:03:13 56
He just went out a couple of hours
for a game of soccer.
562 10:41:54:07 10:41:56:24 00:00:02:17 35
He made noodles and I baked a cake.
563 10:41:57:10 10:41:58:17 00:00:01:07 7
Anyway.
564 10:41:59:06 10:42:04:04 00:00:04:23 56
If Timur finds out through this film
how our family was.
565 10:42:05:14 10:42:07:21 00:00:02:07 41
Timur knows most of it.
But others don’t.
566 10:42:08:08 10:42:11:05 00:00:02:22 43
And then he has to listen
to all this crap:
567 10:42:12:08 10:42:17:10 00:00:05:02 56
“Your wife’s family was like that?“
Or whatever, y’know?
568 10:42:18:09 10:42:22:00 00:00:03:16 57
Then Timur will not be able
to set foot outside the door.
569 10:42:22:15 10:42:25:04 00:00:02:14 25
Because he is so ashamed.
570 10:42:25:16 10:42:27:06 00:00:01:15 22
I just think it’s sad.
571 10:42:27:14 10:42:30:14 00:00:03:00 57
My kids don’t need to know
everything about my childhood.
572 10:42:31:05 10:42:33:02 00:00:01:22 39
Why not?
- I just don’t like that idea.
573 10:42:33:10 10:42:36:24 00:00:03:14 56
Why do they need to know?
And rack their brains over it?
574 10:42:37:07 10:42:41:07 00:00:04:00 37
They’re happy and have their hobbies.
575 10:42:41:18 10:42:44:08 00:00:02:15 18
They go to school.
576 10:42:44:23 10:42:46:12 00:00:01:14 28
So you want to protect them?
577 10:42:46:20 10:42:49:23 00:00:03:03 61
Yes, of course I want to protect them.
Like any mother would.
578 10:42:56:16 10:42:58:09 00:00:01:18 30
Are you going someplace, Abla?
579 10:42:58:17 10:43:01:04 00:00:02:12 29
No, Biene, I’m just replacing
580 10:43:01:13 10:43:04:17 00:00:03:04 41
these spring clothes
with winter clothes.
581 10:43:05:07 10:43:06:12 00:00:01:05 9
What for?
582 10:43:07:20 10:43:10:01 00:00:02:06 25
What do you think, Biene?
583 10:43:12:14 10:43:13:14 00:00:01:00 15
Well, what for?
584 10:43:14:00 10:43:17:24 00:00:03:24 34
It’s just that emergency suitcase.
585 10:43:22:13 10:43:24:09 00:00:01:21 23
What kind of emergency?
586 10:43:28:09 10:43:31:19 00:00:03:10 52
In case I can’t take it anymore
and need to get out.
587 10:43:41:02 10:43:44:16 00:00:03:14 56
You wanted music after all. So dance!
- I don’t want to.
588 10:43:44:24 10:43:46:15 00:00:01:16 22
Then what do you want?
589 10:43:46:23 10:43:48:14 00:00:01:16 11
Just dance!
590 10:43:50:07 10:43:52:12 00:00:02:05 16
Let’s not fight.
591 10:43:54:14 10:43:58:22 00:00:04:08 39
Don’t be so coy.
- No, I’m not dancing!
592 10:43:59:05 10:44:02:06 00:00:03:01 28
You’re asking for a fat lip.
593 10:44:07:13 10:44:09:23 00:00:02:10 32
Stop playing with those buttons.
594 10:44:15:09 10:44:17:07 00:00:01:23 19
Go on, dance, girl!
595 10:44:18:18 10:44:20:16 00:00:01:23 8
Go girl!
596 10:44:26:01 10:44:27:10 00:00:01:09 9
Go Nazik!
597 10:44:37:14 10:44:38:20 00:00:01:06 11
Great Song!
598 10:44:44:24 10:44:47:06 00:00:02:07 33
Why are you hitting me like that?
599 10:44:49:12 10:44:52:01 00:00:02:14 43
Mother, he’s not hitting you,
he loves you.
600 10:44:52:09 10:44:53:16 00:00:01:07 8
But how?
601 10:44:53:24 10:44:56:21 00:00:02:22 34
Like that!
He loves you beatingly.
602 10:44:57:04 10:44:59:18 00:00:02:14 35
Mother, the bruises are love marks.
603 10:45:23:03 10:45:24:03 00:00:01:00 7
Mother?
604 10:45:27:10 10:45:32:02 00:00:04:17 67
Do you sometimes think back
on how you threw that knife after Abla?
605 10:45:34:10 10:45:37:16 00:00:03:06 53
I try not to.
It didn’t happen on purpose, after all.
606 10:45:43:05 10:45:46:10 00:00:03:05 51
Did you apologize to Abla
at the hospital? - I did.
607 10:45:48:04 10:45:49:14 00:00:01:10 20
Did she forgive you?
608 10:45:51:03 10:45:55:24 00:00:04:21 56
Of course. Besides, she wasn’t
completely without guilt.
609 10:45:57:24 10:45:59:24 00:00:02:00 27
In what way was she guilty?
610 10:46:02:10 10:46:04:18 00:00:02:08 44
Do I really have to talk about it
right now?
611 10:46:05:08 10:46:07:13 00:00:02:05 39
We never really talked about it before.
612 10:46:07:21 10:46:09:10 00:00:01:14 15
Did, too.
- No.
613 10:46:16:01 10:46:17:18 00:00:01:17 24
I was chopping tomatoes.
614 10:46:18:01 10:46:21:07 00:00:03:06 62
Then I got into a bad mood,
because I was preparing your food.
615 10:46:22:11 10:46:25:04 00:00:02:18 35
You all wanted your eggs different.
616 10:46:26:20 10:46:28:24 00:00:02:04 42
As if I didn’t have
anything better to do.
617 10:46:29:07 10:46:31:06 00:00:01:24 24
I had a headache anyway.
618 10:46:32:01 10:46:35:21 00:00:03:20 61
And that’s when it happened.
I didn’t understand myself, how.
619 10:46:36:08 10:46:38:08 00:00:02:00 32
Were you very frightened?
- Yes.
620 10:46:39:07 10:46:40:21 00:00:01:14 17
I was devastated.
621 10:46:41:04 10:46:44:12 00:00:03:08 42
Describe, in your own words,
how you felt?
622 10:46:44:20 10:46:49:10 00:00:04:15 41
What feelings?
I didn’t have any anymore.
623 10:46:51:17 10:46:55:15 00:00:03:23 43
I prayed to God
he would leave me my child.
624 10:46:55:23 10:46:59:12 00:00:03:14 63
And I was worried that my children
might be taken away from me.
625 10:47:00:04 10:47:01:04 00:00:01:00 11
And then...
626 10:47:01:23 10:47:03:18 00:00:01:20 19
I told your Abla...
627 10:47:06:22 10:47:08:24 00:00:02:02 31
she should say Ali had done it.
628 10:47:09:07 10:47:11:06 00:00:01:24 37
Because otherwise I would go to jail.
629 10:47:58:07 10:48:02:10 00:00:04:03 36
Nana, did you see Ali?
- Yes, I did.
630 10:48:11:08 10:48:13:15 00:00:02:07 19
Happy Mother’s Day.
631 10:48:14:00 10:48:15:20 00:00:01:20 35
Of all days you have to work today.
632 10:48:17:16 10:48:19:03 00:00:01:12 17
That’s my mother.
633 10:48:55:09 10:48:57:08 00:00:01:24 31
I’ve been hanging about all day
634 10:48:57:24 10:49:01:16 00:00:03:17 66
and still haven’t brought myself
to wish her a happy mother’s day.
635 10:49:22:18 10:49:24:18 00:00:02:00 12
Did you see?
636 10:49:25:14 10:49:26:20 00:00:01:06 16
What did you do?
637 10:49:27:12 10:49:28:15 00:00:01:03 18
Gave you a flower.
638 10:49:34:01 10:49:35:18 00:00:01:17 27
Why did you actually do it?
639 10:49:36:09 10:49:39:03 00:00:02:19 44
Don’t know.
- Do you remember the situation?
640 10:49:39:22 10:49:40:22 00:00:01:00 3
No.
641 10:49:41:10 10:49:43:21 00:00:02:11 46
You won it and didn’t know
what to do with it.
642 10:49:49:17 10:49:51:15 00:00:01:23 29
Should we go play basketball?
643 10:49:54:22 10:49:56:22 00:00:02:00 21
Are you bored?
- Yes.
644 10:49:59:15 10:50:03:13 00:00:03:23 65
Normally we beat each other up.
- But not in front of the camera.
645 10:50:17:20 10:50:19:08 00:00:01:13 9
Too slow.
646 10:50:20:22 10:50:24:14 00:00:03:17 49
Trust me, the things that will start
cropping up.
647 10:50:25:06 10:50:27:15 00:00:02:09 32
Drugs.
- Once they investigated.
648 10:50:32:17 10:50:36:01 00:00:03:09 49
I bet they were stoned, man.
- They were on acid.
649 10:50:36:23 10:50:39:05 00:00:02:07 47
You don’t just trample
so many people to death.
650 10:50:39:13 10:50:41:23 00:00:02:10 24
Yeah, they were on acid.
651 10:50:49:07 10:50:52:12 00:00:03:05 28
Yep, that’s how we’ll do it.
652 10:50:54:07 10:50:55:22 00:00:01:15 17
See you tomorrow.
653 10:51:48:20 10:51:51:12 00:00:02:17 23
Caner!
Form a new team.
654 10:51:54:13 10:51:57:06 00:00:02:18 30
I think
he has beautiful eyes.
655 10:52:14:07 10:52:17:04 00:00:02:22 25
Are you all there? Great.
656 10:52:33:20 10:52:36:16 00:00:02:21 28
Did you eat something? Good.
657 10:53:08:10 10:53:10:10 00:00:02:00 36
Weapons are cool.
- No, they aren’t.
658 10:53:10:23 10:53:12:01 00:00:01:03 16
Are, too.
- Not.
659 10:53:12:09 10:53:13:19 00:00:01:10 17
Weapons are cool.
660 10:53:14:02 10:53:15:12 00:00:01:10 29
What do you need weapons for?
661 10:53:15:20 10:53:19:08 00:00:03:13 51
You’ve got two fists.
Those should be your weapons.
662 10:53:19:19 10:53:21:16 00:00:01:22 21
Your fist, look here.
663 10:53:22:15 10:53:25:13 00:00:02:23 33
That’s the only weapon a man has.
664 10:53:35:13 10:53:36:19 00:00:01:06 8
Let him.
665 10:53:37:20 10:53:41:04 00:00:03:09 52
We tried to fix this.
And then we broke it entirely.
666 10:53:42:00 10:53:45:07 00:00:03:07 60
This place lacks a proper kitchen.
- Why did you break this?
667 10:53:45:24 10:53:48:08 00:00:02:09 36
Ali, do you feel like a new kitchen?
668 10:53:48:16 10:53:50:11 00:00:01:20 10
Like what?
669 10:53:51:04 10:53:53:09 00:00:02:05 30
There’s a kitchen shop nearby.
670 10:53:53:17 10:53:56:12 00:00:02:20 35
It’s also not very expensive there.
671 10:53:57:11 10:53:59:15 00:00:02:04 28
Now you broke it completely.
672 10:54:01:13 10:54:03:24 00:00:02:11 31
Let’s get you a pretty kitchen.
673 10:54:05:07 10:54:07:21 00:00:02:14 44
You feel a lot better
with a proper kitchen.
674 10:54:08:05 10:54:11:13 00:00:03:08 45
Don’t need one.
- Then rot in your moldy den!
675 10:54:11:23 10:54:14:20 00:00:02:22 19
You gonna get sick.
676 10:54:15:07 10:54:18:06 00:00:02:24 44
It can’t be fixed anymore.
Can’t be, get it?
677 10:54:18:15 10:54:20:07 00:00:01:17 13
This is junk!
678 10:54:20:15 10:54:22:13 00:00:01:23 15
What?
- Broken!
679 10:54:22:21 10:54:24:06 00:00:01:10 13
Yes, but how?
680 10:54:25:06 10:54:26:14 00:00:01:08 17
How did it break?
681 10:54:27:00 10:54:30:14 00:00:03:14 45
I knocked the thing
over this Italian’s head.
682 10:54:30:22 10:54:35:19 00:00:04:22 46
Finally the gun,
like the Italian, fell apart.
683 10:54:36:02 10:54:37:21 00:00:01:19 16
What’s so funny?
684 10:54:39:24 10:54:41:11 00:00:01:12 15
He’s losing it.
685 10:54:42:14 10:54:45:03 00:00:02:14 48
If I hit you with this
you’ll know how it feels.
686 10:54:45:15 10:54:48:10 00:00:02:20 47
Ali, don’t pay him too much attention.
- Freak.
687 10:54:48:23 10:54:49:24 00:00:01:01 20
Pipe down, will you!
688 10:54:50:11 10:54:53:22 00:00:03:11 52
This is a piggy bank.
- Why are you hiding it there?
689 10:54:54:08 10:54:56:15 00:00:02:07 46
So that I don’t waste it
on gambling machines.
690 10:54:57:20 10:55:00:18 00:00:02:23 27
Devrim, the gun stays here!
691 10:55:12:02 10:55:13:12 00:00:01:10 25
Yes, something like that.
692 10:55:24:01 10:55:27:03 00:00:03:02 44
Did you thank uncle Ali
and give him a kiss?
693 10:55:29:12 10:55:32:02 00:00:02:15 43
What “yech“?
- You’ve got such black teeth.
694 10:55:32:10 10:55:34:07 00:00:01:22 33
You don’t brush your black teeth.
695 10:55:35:13 10:55:38:09 00:00:02:21 29
You have to brush your teeth.
696 10:55:38:22 10:55:41:24 00:00:03:02 60
Even if I brush them,
they’re not going to turn white again.
697 10:55:42:07 10:55:45:02 00:00:02:20 26
He’s had too much ice tea.
698 10:55:50:15 10:55:52:16 00:00:02:01 36
You want to be that one or that one?
699 10:55:54:10 10:55:56:05 00:00:01:20 34
They don’t even walk on their own.
700 10:55:58:21 10:56:01:01 00:00:02:05 27
I told you it’s major crap.
701 10:56:01:09 10:56:04:01 00:00:02:17 34
It’s money.
A money making scheme.
702 10:56:04:12 10:56:07:01 00:00:02:14 20
It’s not major crap!
703 10:56:30:13 10:56:33:17 00:00:03:04 16
Ali, come dance!
704 10:56:58:17 10:57:00:06 00:00:01:14 28
Ali completed a traineeship.
705 10:57:01:06 10:57:02:15 00:00:01:09 21
That still amazes me.
706 10:57:02:23 10:57:05:21 00:00:02:23 36
That he managed
to do a traineeship.
707 10:57:06:17 10:57:10:09 00:00:03:17 53
Because they cared even less
about what he was up to.
708 10:57:11:17 10:57:14:13 00:00:02:21 40
Nobody gave a shit where he was all day.
709 10:57:14:21 10:57:17:21 00:00:03:00 53
That he would come home
at midnight at the age of 14.
710 10:57:18:11 10:57:21:04 00:00:02:18 37
I’m telling you, in retrospective,...
711 10:57:22:05 10:57:26:09 00:00:04:04 67
I would have said at the age of 10
“No, it’s better, if you leave.“
712 10:57:27:00 10:57:28:17 00:00:01:17 24
It’s good that you left.
713 10:57:29:17 10:57:31:24 00:00:02:07 37
But back then I just didn’t think so.
714 10:57:32:11 10:57:37:01 00:00:04:15 48
I guess, I’m still
carrying this pain inside me.
715 10:57:38:21 10:57:40:22 00:00:02:01 33
And I think...Hang on a minute...
716 10:57:41:08 10:57:44:22 00:00:03:14 45
the reason I thought it sucked
that you left,
717 10:57:45:18 10:57:46:16 00:00:00:23 12
was because-
718 10:57:47:16 10:57:51:14 00:00:03:23 46
Do you remember
why you got your last beating?
719 10:57:52:06 10:57:54:04 00:00:01:23 34
No.
- You see, you don’t remember.
720 10:57:54:12 10:57:59:05 00:00:04:18 63
I still remember why you got a
beating the day before you left.
721 10:57:59:13 10:58:02:21 00:00:03:08 51
What was it about?
- ’Coz you broke the front door.
722 10:58:05:16 10:58:10:05 00:00:04:14 42
You kicked in the bottom
half of the door,
723 10:58:10:13 10:58:13:19 00:00:03:06 35
because you needed
to pee urgently.
724 10:58:14:02 10:58:16:20 00:00:02:18 53
And because there was nobody home
and you had no key.
725 10:58:17:03 10:58:18:20 00:00:01:17 30
That’s why you broke the door.
726 10:58:19:03 10:58:19:24 00:00:00:21 3
So?
727 10:58:20:15 10:58:23:11 00:00:02:21 45
It was crappy then
and it’s still crappy now.
728 10:58:23:21 10:58:25:24 00:00:02:03 41
You could have peed
in a bush downstairs.
729 10:58:26:10 10:58:27:23 00:00:01:13 32
Instead of breaking down a door.
730 10:58:28:18 10:58:31:13 00:00:02:20 42
Well, at that moment,
I understood mother.
731 10:58:32:02 10:58:36:00 00:00:03:23 42
’Coz she gets home
after 12 hours of work,
732 10:58:36:08 10:58:39:23 00:00:03:15 52
sees the broken door,
of course, she goes ballistic.
733 10:58:40:06 10:58:43:01 00:00:02:20 51
Any normal person
would have lost it at that point.
734 10:58:44:02 10:58:46:14 00:00:02:12 39
What was worse to you?
- That you left.
735 10:58:47:06 10:58:50:00 00:00:02:19 40
Yes, but what’s worse than being beaten?
736 10:58:54:24 10:58:57:09 00:00:02:10 21
Well, abuse, I’d say.
737 10:58:57:17 10:58:59:19 00:00:02:02 27
Though, that is abuse, too.
738 10:59:00:02 10:59:01:11 00:00:01:09 27
If you look at it that way.
739 10:59:01:20 10:59:05:14 00:00:03:19 31
Beating is also physical abuse.
740 10:59:10:03 10:59:11:14 00:00:01:11 11
I hate him.
741 10:59:13:17 10:59:15:17 00:00:02:00 21
For doing that to me.
742 10:59:16:16 10:59:19:18 00:00:03:02 49
For not getting anything
out of doing that to me.
743 10:59:20:24 10:59:22:24 00:00:02:00 21
That I can’t sue him.
744 10:59:25:12 10:59:27:24 00:00:02:12 37
That no one knows about it in Turkey.
745 10:59:29:03 10:59:31:08 00:00:02:05 36
That none of his brothers understand
746 10:59:31:17 10:59:34:14 00:00:02:22 33
why we are treating him this way.
747 10:59:38:01 10:59:39:08 00:00:01:07 17
And the daughter.
748 10:59:42:05 10:59:46:21 00:00:04:16 59
She has got a different mother,
but she’s still our sister.
749 10:59:51:06 10:59:53:05 00:00:01:24 27
I wish I could go with you.
750 10:59:54:05 10:59:55:21 00:00:01:16 10
To Turkey.
751 10:59:58:20 10:59:59:21 00:00:01:01 11
To do what?
752 11:00:00:05 11:00:02:14 00:00:02:09 23
To warn his new wife...
753 11:00:03:17 11:00:06:14 00:00:02:22 41
not to leave her
daughter alone with him.
754 11:00:13:00 11:00:17:21 00:00:04:21 57
But then I say to myself:
“They won’t believe me anyway.“
755 11:00:22:10 11:00:26:04 00:00:03:19 43
I’ve often asked myself
why me and not you.
756 11:00:30:21 11:00:32:05 00:00:01:09 23
What do you think? Why?
757 11:00:32:13 11:00:36:04 00:00:03:16 50
I don’t know.
Maybe he thought you were too smart.
758 11:00:37:11 11:00:38:21 00:00:01:10 22
But you aren’t stupid.
759 11:00:41:05 11:00:43:10 00:00:02:05 38
No idea, maybe I was stupid after all.
760 11:00:44:22 11:00:48:04 00:00:03:07 37
Maybe you just loved him more than I.
761 11:00:50:23 11:00:52:00 00:00:01:02 5
What?
762 11:00:52:23 11:00:56:17 00:00:03:19 36
Maybe you loved him more than I did.
763 11:00:57:19 11:01:00:01 00:00:02:07 38
And you didn’t want to
disappoint him.
764 11:01:02:12 11:01:06:01 00:00:03:14 31
And he exploited your feelings.
765 11:01:15:16 11:01:18:23 00:00:03:07 42
I still miss him to this day.
- Say again?
766 11:01:20:02 11:01:23:03 00:00:03:01 39
I still miss him to this day.
- Really?
767 11:01:23:17 11:01:25:10 00:00:01:18 17
Well, not him,...
768 11:01:25:18 11:01:27:13 00:00:01:20 20
but having a father.
769 11:01:29:21 11:01:33:02 00:00:03:06 37
Or to have someone I can call father.
770 11:01:56:20 11:01:57:23 00:00:01:03 19
Come, my son, come.
771 11:01:58:17 11:01:59:22 00:00:01:05 7
Mother?
772 11:02:00:14 11:02:02:15 00:00:02:01 42
What do you think
of Samira’s accusations?
773 11:02:02:23 11:02:05:03 00:00:02:05 15
Against father?
774 11:02:06:13 11:02:08:23 00:00:02:10 34
Samira wouldn’t have made that up.
775 11:02:16:09 11:02:19:01 00:00:02:17 53
If I had known back then,
he wouldn’t be alive today.
776 11:02:19:12 11:02:21:12 00:00:02:00 32
If it really happened like that.
777 11:02:22:12 11:02:23:14 00:00:01:02 11
Don’t know.
778 11:02:25:24 11:02:30:16 00:00:04:17 47
Samira told me in tears.
So it’s probably true.
779 11:02:33:12 11:02:35:12 00:00:02:00 29
Did you ever love us, mother?
780 11:02:36:24 11:02:40:13 00:00:03:14 31
Why else would I have
made sure
781 11:02:41:24 11:02:43:23 00:00:01:24 19
you lacked nothing?
782 11:02:44:06 11:02:46:03 00:00:01:22 25
Your food, your clothing.
783 11:02:48:03 11:02:51:01 00:00:02:23 39
Alright, you did. But...
- So, you see!
784 11:02:51:14 11:02:53:02 00:00:01:13 17
Alright, you did.
785 11:02:53:19 11:02:59:16 00:00:05:22 63
At the same time you beat
the crap out of us and humiliated us.
786 11:03:00:11 11:03:04:10 00:00:03:24 50
What was that all about?
- I didn’t humiliate you.
787 11:03:06:00 11:03:09:01 00:00:03:01 38
I just couldn’t cope with your father.
788 11:03:09:19 11:03:11:08 00:00:01:14 15
He drank a lot.
789 11:03:12:04 11:03:13:18 00:00:01:14 13
Cussed a lot.
790 11:03:14:13 11:03:16:13 00:00:02:00 30
Never thought before he spoke.
791 11:03:16:22 11:03:21:02 00:00:04:05 49
And if I gave him a piece
of my mind, we’d fight.
792 11:03:22:00 11:03:23:21 00:00:01:21 28
Then he’d beat me even more.
793 11:03:24:12 11:03:26:11 00:00:01:24 19
Cursed even harder.
794 11:03:28:11 11:03:29:24 00:00:01:13 8
And I...
795 11:03:30:11 11:03:32:06 00:00:01:20 22
let it all out on you.
796 11:03:33:08 11:03:36:01 00:00:02:18 49
I always blamed myself
for treating you unfairly.
797 11:03:36:09 11:03:38:09 00:00:02:00 24
Many nights I lay awake.
798 11:03:42:04 11:03:43:18 00:00:01:14 18
Did you know that?
799 11:03:46:14 11:03:48:10 00:00:01:21 27
Back then in the old house.
800 11:03:49:13 11:03:51:05 00:00:01:17 19
I tore out my hair!
801 11:04:07:18 11:04:11:00 00:00:03:07 51
You don’t go and beat
a pregnant woman with a belt!
802 11:04:12:08 11:04:15:15 00:00:03:07 52
You all hid in the bedroom
and were scared to death.
803 11:04:18:12 11:04:20:05 00:00:01:18 16
Do you remember?
804 11:04:24:06 11:04:26:03 00:00:01:22 26
I was carrying Esra in me.
805 11:04:30:24 11:04:33:03 00:00:02:04 44
That’s enough.
I don’t want to say any more.
806 11:04:46:00 11:04:48:02 00:00:02:02 27
Everything is so dark here.
807 11:04:48:10 11:04:52:01 00:00:03:16 43
It’s always like that.
But later, it’s not.
808 11:04:54:17 11:04:58:06 00:00:03:14 60
But don’t flip anybody off.
Our parents will see this later.
809 11:04:59:17 11:05:02:20 00:00:03:03 19
Biene, turn around.
810 11:06:08:15 11:06:10:07 00:00:01:17 9
May, 2001
811 11:06:11:14 11:06:12:17 00:00:01:03 11
Dear diary,
812 11:06:13:10 11:06:15:08 00:00:01:23 34
today my father is being deported.
813 11:06:16:12 11:06:17:23 00:00:01:11 34
I’ve never felt this close to him.
814 11:06:19:01 11:06:19:24 00:00:00:23 20
Abla didn’t want to,
815 11:06:20:11 11:06:22:23 00:00:02:12 41
so I had to get
his stuff to the airport.
816 11:06:25:01 11:06:26:14 00:00:01:13 23
I’ll have some of that.
817 11:06:27:23 11:06:30:07 00:00:02:09 48
There was a speaker
at the May Day demonstration
818 11:06:31:05 11:06:32:24 00:00:01:19 31
who said something very smart -
819 11:06:33:07 11:06:34:23 00:00:01:16 37
about the right of self-determination
820 11:06:35:03 11:06:37:01 00:00:01:23 26
and the duty to go for it.
821 11:06:38:06 11:06:39:03 00:00:00:22 8
I wonder
822 11:06:39:08 11:06:42:09 00:00:03:01 47
if my father
ever considered matters like that.
823 11:06:43:09 11:06:44:01 00:00:00:17 10
No matter;
824 11:06:44:18 11:06:45:22 00:00:01:04 17
he was my father,
825 11:06:46:15 11:06:48:06 00:00:01:16 30
even if he sobbed like a baby.
826 11:07:58:18 11:08:01:05 00:00:02:12 31
Nana and Aki’s upcoming wedding
827 11:08:01:11 11:08:06:04 00:00:04:18 67
is a convenient occasion
to assemble all the Pilavcis in one place.
828 11:08:06:13 11:08:09:07 00:00:02:19 44
And one by one
we’re all gradually arriving.
829 11:09:07:14 11:09:09:00 00:00:01:11 21
Great reception, man!
830 11:09:09:10 11:09:10:17 00:00:01:07 20
Is she there at all?
831 11:09:15:00 11:09:16:05 00:00:01:05 21
Doesn’t look like it.
832 11:09:18:17 11:09:20:08 00:00:01:16 32
Maybe they’re down by the beach.
833 11:09:20:19 11:09:22:23 00:00:02:04 23
Well, probably. I’d be.
834 11:09:24:21 11:09:28:04 00:00:03:08 37
Well, and then?
- Well, then we wait.
835 11:09:32:00 11:09:36:11 00:00:04:11 63
I’ve been looking forward
to seeing her and now she’s not here.
836 11:09:39:22 11:09:41:16 00:00:01:19 10
Excellent!
837 11:09:43:12 11:09:45:01 00:00:01:14 22
I bet Ali bought that.
838 11:09:47:07 11:09:49:08 00:00:02:01 28
He reads “Bild”, doesn’t he?
839 11:09:53:23 11:09:55:19 00:00:01:21 13
Hello, honey!
840 11:10:05:03 11:10:07:06 00:00:02:03 14
Hello, get up.
841 11:10:16:21 11:10:19:07 00:00:02:11 29
I didn’t say THROW, but GIVE.
842 11:10:20:14 11:10:21:15 00:00:01:01 6
Catch.
843 11:10:22:13 11:10:25:05 00:00:02:17 36
C’mon, mom, we’ll play a game:
Jump!
844 11:10:26:07 11:10:29:07 00:00:03:00 50
She’ll be in touch, when they arrive.
- What’s up?
845 11:10:29:21 11:10:32:01 00:00:02:05 31
She wants to text Ilknur.
- No!
846 11:10:32:18 11:10:35:15 00:00:02:22 38
Forget Ilknur.
- They’re on their way.
847 11:10:35:23 11:10:38:13 00:00:02:15 50
Don’t bother her.
Otherwise there will be trouble.
848 11:10:39:12 11:10:41:03 00:00:01:16 15
You know Timur.
849 11:10:41:11 11:10:43:15 00:00:02:04 24
That queer sack of shit!
850 11:10:43:23 11:10:46:05 00:00:02:07 43
You talked differently
about him yesterday.
851 11:10:47:03 11:10:50:23 00:00:03:20 41
Abla should still be happy
she got Timur.
852 11:10:51:09 11:10:53:24 00:00:02:15 39
At least he takes care of his children.
853 11:10:54:07 11:10:57:06 00:00:02:24 42
That’s his duty.
- No way that’s his duty.
854 11:10:57:17 11:10:59:02 00:00:01:10 8
Why not?
855 11:10:59:10 11:11:03:08 00:00:03:23 56
Because otherwise you
would have had the same duties,...
856 11:11:03:16 11:11:05:17 00:00:02:01 27
Geez, Ali, be quiet please.
857 11:11:06:00 11:11:07:24 00:00:01:24 30
...but you neglected them all.
858 11:11:08:07 11:11:10:07 00:00:02:00 28
Timur at least goes to work.
859 11:11:10:15 11:11:13:01 00:00:02:11 46
Your father never
brought any money in, I did.
860 11:11:13:09 11:11:15:17 00:00:02:08 37
You just never got your act together.
861 11:11:16:17 11:11:18:13 00:00:01:21 37
Don’t compare Timur with your father.
862 11:11:19:03 11:11:23:04 00:00:04:01 44
Buying clothes doesn’t mean
raising a child.
863 11:11:24:16 11:11:25:21 00:00:01:05 17
No hard feelings.
864 11:11:26:04 11:11:28:03 00:00:01:24 38
Being a parent
is something different.
865 11:11:28:11 11:11:33:12 00:00:05:01 72
This is just fabric. It can tear,
it can get dirty, it can get worn down
866 11:11:33:20 11:11:36:11 00:00:02:16 44
and then get thrown out.
But a mother’s love
867 11:11:36:21 11:11:40:07 00:00:03:11 42
you cannot tear up
and throw in the trash.
868 11:11:40:18 11:11:42:14 00:00:01:21 38
But I was refused something like that.
869 11:11:42:22 11:11:45:06 00:00:02:09 23
No one of you loved me.
870 11:11:45:16 11:11:49:10 00:00:03:19 52
In 20 years of soccer practice
you didn’t show once.
871 11:11:49:19 11:11:53:05 00:00:03:11 39
All the other parents had to work, too.
872 11:11:53:15 11:11:58:03 00:00:04:13 55
But at the weekends
they came to watch their sons play.
873 11:11:58:13 11:12:02:00 00:00:03:12 60
But I had to clean up your pig sty.
- So did all the others!
874 11:12:02:10 11:12:05:08 00:00:02:23 47
I just don’t want to talk to you.
- Then don’t.
875 11:12:05:16 11:12:08:16 00:00:03:00 55
As soon as I’m back in Germany
you can forget about me.
876 11:12:08:24 11:12:11:23 00:00:02:24 53
Got it, we don’t need you,
you don’t need us. Period.
877 11:12:12:06 11:12:14:08 00:00:02:02 11
Done, okay?
878 11:12:14:16 11:12:16:07 00:00:01:16 32
Over and out.
- Ali, I need you.
879 11:12:16:15 11:12:20:17 00:00:04:02 48
I think things got better
between us. Don’t you?
880 11:12:22:02 11:12:25:02 00:00:03:00 42
Which part didn’t you get?
Just leave him.
881 11:12:25:10 11:12:28:09 00:00:02:24 31
He didn’t sleep, he’s hammered.
882 11:12:28:20 11:12:32:06 00:00:03:11 59
You’re trying to have a discussion
with a guy who’s wasted.
883 11:12:32:14 11:12:35:05 00:00:02:16 31
And you don’t get it.
- Samira!
884 11:12:35:16 11:12:39:22 00:00:04:06 50
He just said that
he wants nothing to do with her.
885 11:12:40:05 11:12:43:15 00:00:03:10 49
So let it be.
If he wants to be in touch with you
886 11:12:44:01 11:12:45:09 00:00:01:08 19
he can contact you.
887 11:12:45:19 11:12:48:20 00:00:03:01 53
Don’t you get it?
It’s not like he’s speaking Arabic!
888 11:12:49:03 11:12:51:13 00:00:02:10 37
Yes, I-
- Well, then zip it for once!
889 11:12:51:21 11:12:53:15 00:00:01:19 29
This part I got.
May I speak?
890 11:12:53:23 11:12:55:06 00:00:01:08 10
You klutz!
891 11:12:56:06 11:12:58:15 00:00:02:09 33
No matter how you feel about her,
892 11:12:59:00 11:13:03:06 00:00:04:06 68
I still think it’s great that we have
started talking to each other.
893 11:13:04:08 11:13:07:12 00:00:03:04 53
That you and I are now talking more.
That’s good, no?
894 11:13:07:20 11:13:10:22 00:00:03:02 50
Whether I talk to you or not,
it’s the same to me.
895 11:13:11:16 11:13:14:08 00:00:02:17 47
You were gone for 10 years,
that’s what counts.
896 11:13:14:18 11:13:19:17 00:00:04:24 70
You were not in touch for 10 years.
You didn’t know anything about me.
897 11:13:20:05 11:13:22:24 00:00:02:19 56
You’ve had no clue about me, either.
- I didn’t want to.
898 11:13:23:11 11:13:25:20 00:00:02:09 47
If I had wanted to,
I would have been in touch.
899 11:13:26:03 11:13:28:17 00:00:02:14 41
I would have called you
on your birthday.
900 11:13:28:24 11:13:34:11 00:00:05:12 59
You called me on my birthdays,
in case you remember. - Yes.
901 11:13:35:08 11:13:38:14 00:00:03:06 72
Nothing will change if we discuss it.
Things will stay the way they are.
902 11:13:39:01 11:13:40:14 00:00:01:13 26
Listen, Nazik...
- Samira.
903 11:13:40:24 11:13:42:09 00:00:01:10 11
Not for me.
904 11:13:43:00 11:13:45:12 00:00:02:12 46
Kiss my ass, man!
I didn’t do anything to him.
905 11:13:45:24 11:13:49:18 00:00:03:19 62
If he feels he needs to hate
his sister then go ahead. Dammit!
906 11:13:50:01 11:13:52:11 00:00:02:10 20
I don’t give a shit!
907 11:13:53:06 11:13:54:12 00:00:01:06 20
From what I can see,
908 11:13:54:22 11:13:57:14 00:00:02:17 42
it’s obvious
that Ali doesn’t hate anyone.
909 11:13:58:04 11:14:00:22 00:00:02:18 35
Ali is just really sad. That’s all.
910 11:14:01:05 11:14:03:02 00:00:01:22 12
I’m not sad.
911 11:14:03:19 11:14:06:11 00:00:02:17 32
My life ended.
Do you know when?
912 11:14:06:19 11:14:09:01 00:00:02:07 30
At the age of 15?
- No, at 18.
913 11:14:09:09 11:14:11:18 00:00:02:09 31
When I broke that woman’s nose.
914 11:14:12:05 11:14:16:12 00:00:04:07 70
He acts like he suffered in his life!
Which one of us really suffered?
915 11:14:16:20 11:14:20:14 00:00:03:19 68
I experienced terrible things!
Catching my own mother fucking a guy,
916 11:14:20:24 11:14:23:12 00:00:02:13 37
that’s something terrible, for a boy!
917 11:14:23:20 11:14:25:14 00:00:01:19 22
Your father fucked me!
918 11:14:25:22 11:14:29:17 00:00:03:20 44
Stop bullshitting, man!
- Are you satisfied?
919 11:14:31:09 11:14:33:21 00:00:02:12 38
Yes, I want us
to talk to one another.
920 11:14:34:07 11:14:38:23 00:00:04:16 57
Maybe it isn’t how I hoped
it would go, but it’s a start.
921 11:14:39:10 11:14:42:01 00:00:02:16 44
I want us all to sit down
together and talk.
922 11:14:42:09 11:14:45:21 00:00:03:12 39
Is this talking for you?
With a camera?
923 11:14:46:04 11:14:47:19 00:00:01:15 26
What should we talk about?
924 11:14:48:02 11:14:50:15 00:00:02:13 46
You wanna talk about
how this place is a dump?
925 11:14:50:22 11:14:53:20 00:00:02:23 33
How there’s mold in the bathroom?
926 11:14:54:03 11:14:57:06 00:00:03:03 43
How much the food is?
Or a text and cheese?
927 11:14:57:15 11:15:00:22 00:00:03:07 47
Should we talk the entire day
about banalities?
928 11:15:01:11 11:15:04:00 00:00:02:14 28
Is that worth talking about?
929 11:15:04:08 11:15:08:18 00:00:04:10 45
There are way more issues
we need to address.
930 11:15:09:04 11:15:11:08 00:00:02:04 25
My life only concerns me.
931 11:15:11:16 11:15:15:13 00:00:03:22 70
Just like you have to manage yours,
I have to manage mine. Understood?
932 11:15:16:23 11:15:22:06 00:00:05:08 51
If I get sick,
no one is going to knock at my door.
933 11:15:22:23 11:15:24:16 00:00:01:18 19
and bring me bread.
934 11:15:24:24 11:15:25:23 00:00:00:24 20
With fucking around.
935 11:15:26:08 11:15:28:04 00:00:01:21 42
Since I came to Germany
I’ve been working.
936 11:15:28:20 11:15:30:21 00:00:02:01 37
I started slaving away when I was 10.
937 11:15:31:07 11:15:34:22 00:00:03:15 35
Why aren’t we good children to you?
938 11:15:35:05 11:15:37:13 00:00:02:08 40
Were you a good mother to us?
- You bet!
939 11:15:37:23 11:15:41:05 00:00:03:07 41
You’ve only ever been
a mother to Ilknur!
940 11:15:41:22 11:15:45:09 00:00:03:12 34
As soon as Ilknur wants “börek“...
941 11:15:47:12 11:15:48:15 00:00:01:03 21
...you start jumping!
942 11:15:48:23 11:15:51:11 00:00:02:13 43
Every day beatings,
every day verbal abuse.
943 11:15:51:19 11:15:54:14 00:00:02:20 43
Then you wouldn’t
have turned out this way.
944 11:15:54:22 11:15:56:15 00:00:01:18 36
I was beaten every day!
- Every day?
945 11:15:56:23 11:15:58:00 00:00:01:02 8
You bet.
946 11:15:58:14 11:16:01:11 00:00:02:22 26
Name one day I was spared.
947 11:16:02:09 11:16:05:13 00:00:03:04 51
Either you or father.
One was worse than the other.
948 11:16:05:21 11:16:08:02 00:00:02:06 28
Every day.
Till I turned 15.
949 11:16:08:17 11:16:12:07 00:00:03:15 52
Then I started beating back.
- Quite an achievement.
950 11:16:12:19 11:16:15:05 00:00:02:11 39
Not a single kick,
not a single blow...
951 11:16:16:16 11:16:19:22 00:00:03:06 40
I don’t regret any.
Every kick hit home.
952 11:16:20:19 11:16:23:17 00:00:02:23 54
Eventually you will get
what you have coming your way.
953 11:16:24:00 11:16:27:08 00:00:03:08 22
You reap what you sow.
954 11:16:28:18 11:16:31:06 00:00:02:13 27
What are you talking about?
955 11:16:33:17 11:16:37:02 00:00:03:10 53
Where did you meet this guy?
- None of your business.
956 11:16:37:10 11:16:40:05 00:00:02:20 45
You didn’t even know him!
- Go for the punch.
957 11:16:41:02 11:16:43:03 00:00:02:01 34
Camera off!
- Can I say something?
958 11:16:43:11 11:16:45:04 00:00:01:18 32
Switch it off.
Or I’ll smash it.
959 11:16:47:13 11:16:52:12 00:00:04:24 53
Ali, if she has feelings for a man,
that’s wonderful.
960 11:16:53:03 11:16:57:11 00:00:04:08 56
Let me talk, now.
If you have feelings for a young girl,
961 11:16:57:22 11:16:59:21 00:00:01:24 27
then that’s beautiful, too.
962 11:17:00:07 11:17:03:17 00:00:03:10 44
I’m talking, now.
Please don’t interrupt me.
963 11:17:04:07 11:17:08:12 00:00:04:05 47
Film this, now.
This is something you can film.
964 11:17:08:20 11:17:13:09 00:00:04:14 51
Ali, if you are able
to have feelings for a person.
965 11:17:13:17 11:17:14:23 00:00:01:06 15
That’s awesome.
966 11:17:15:06 11:17:17:21 00:00:02:15 43
Mother, do you know
why this girl ran away?
967 11:17:18:04 11:17:20:22 00:00:02:18 43
Not because you hit her.
But because I did.
968 11:17:21:13 11:17:23:15 00:00:02:02 25
But she doesn’t admit it.
969 11:17:24:16 11:17:27:18 00:00:03:02 30
Because she wants to spare me.
970 11:17:27:23 11:17:29:12 00:00:01:14 24
But she doesn’t have to.
971 11:17:29:17 11:17:32:05 00:00:02:13 28
Her little brother can cope.
972 11:17:32:13 11:17:35:13 00:00:03:00 34
Not because of you,
because of me.
973 11:17:35:21 11:17:37:22 00:00:02:01 40
Because her little brother
hit her once.
974 11:17:38:05 11:17:40:03 00:00:01:23 26
But why did I beat her up?
975 11:17:40:08 11:17:42:23 00:00:02:15 46
Biene, you were gone
3 days after the beating.
976 11:17:43:06 11:17:44:10 00:00:01:04 16
Yes, but that...
977 11:17:44:18 11:17:47:04 00:00:02:11 39
I’m sorry.
You can think what you want.
978 11:17:47:17 11:17:51:08 00:00:03:16 49
I screwed up, okay.
But they screwed up the most.
979 11:17:51:18 11:17:54:04 00:00:02:11 21
I put that behind me.
980 11:17:55:22 11:17:59:24 00:00:04:02 48
Biene, just because of your
fucking film project
981 11:18:00:11 11:18:02:04 00:00:01:18 34
I’m back
in touch with that woman.
982 11:18:02:12 11:18:04:14 00:00:02:02 30
But this could be a new start.
983 11:18:05:04 11:18:08:14 00:00:03:10 58
When I was in jail I had a mother.
Apart from that, never!
984 11:18:08:22 11:18:11:06 00:00:02:09 22
I’m through with this.
985 11:18:18:04 11:18:20:18 00:00:02:14 36
Very good,
you’re doing a great job.
986 11:18:21:09 11:18:25:16 00:00:04:07 56
We go at each other and
you are laughing up your sleeve.
987 11:18:27:11 11:18:28:13 00:00:01:02 7
Get it?
988 11:18:29:04 11:18:31:20 00:00:02:16 26
Keep it up, why don’t you.
989 11:18:33:17 11:18:37:03 00:00:03:11 39
Didn’t you find a better story to tell?
990 11:19:23:07 11:19:25:15 00:00:02:08 35
After my family
has decided against
991 11:19:25:20 11:19:29:12 00:00:03:17 62
accompanying me to Turkey,
after all, I press on without them.
992 11:19:30:06 11:19:33:02 00:00:02:21 50
On the drive I am
torn up about this film project.
993 11:19:33:09 11:19:35:05 00:00:01:21 39
And I struggle with
childhood memories.
994 11:19:35:22 11:19:37:22 00:00:02:00 41
I wish I could just roll
down the windows
995 11:19:38:02 11:19:39:14 00:00:01:12 22
and turn up the music.
996 11:19:39:23 11:19:42:21 00:00:02:23 55
But I can’t do that
without ruining the original sound.
997 11:19:44:09 11:19:48:03 00:00:03:19 59
I seek solace in the camera
and imagine it’s talking to me,
998 11:19:48:08 11:19:50:02 00:00:01:19 41
telling me not to let
things get me down.
999 11:19:50:13 11:19:52:18 00:00:02:05 43
And at the same time
I don’t see the point.
1000 11:19:53:09 11:19:55:05 00:00:01:21 39
Why shouldn’t I let
things get me down?
1001 11:19:55:10 11:19:56:10 00:00:01:00 22
What is so great about
1002 11:19:56:14 11:19:59:01 00:00:02:12 65
marching through life
as the independent and self-sufficient one?
1003 11:20:00:19 11:20:02:23 00:00:02:04 22
I feel tired and sick.
1004 11:20:04:05 11:20:07:07 00:00:03:02 48
I realize I can’t do
anything to affect reality.
1005 11:20:08:03 11:20:09:09 00:00:01:06 19
Not with this film.
1006 11:20:10:19 11:20:13:09 00:00:02:15 45
How could I embark
on the adventure "family"?
1007 11:20:13:23 11:20:17:07 00:00:03:09 58
Is my mother right
and I’m only profiting from our misery?
1008 11:20:19:11 11:20:21:02 00:00:01:16 35
It doesn’t matter
how hard you work
1009 11:20:21:23 11:20:24:14 00:00:02:16 52
in the end you cannot
break free from your own skin.
1010 11:20:29:08 11:20:30:15 00:00:01:07 18
But what can I do?
1011 11:20:31:22 11:20:33:05 00:00:01:08 25
Fear is closing in on me.
1012 11:20:34:02 11:20:37:16 00:00:03:14 49
All pursuits of a better life
conclude in fiasco.
1013 11:20:38:06 11:20:39:24 00:00:01:18 35
I will never
be able to feel happy,
1014 11:20:40:04 11:20:42:13 00:00:02:09 46
never be able to make
someone else feel happy.
1015 11:20:44:20 11:20:48:18 00:00:03:23 51
Instead I am chasing
after an image I cannot grasp.
1016 11:20:50:12 11:20:51:05 00:00:00:18 6
But...
1017 11:20:51:12 11:20:52:17 00:00:01:05 14
if I manage...
1018 11:20:53:05 11:20:54:06 00:00:01:01 18
just a little bit.
1019 11:20:55:05 11:20:58:02 00:00:02:22 62
Then maybe that distance from myself
will be a little smaller.
1020 11:21:06:23 11:21:09:16 00:00:02:18 18
I think he saw me.
1021 11:21:11:00 11:21:13:07 00:00:02:07 25
Should I get out?
- Yeah.
1022 11:21:13:18 11:21:15:03 00:00:01:10 23
Is that him over there?
1023 11:21:15:12 11:21:17:22 00:00:02:10 34
The one in stripes.
Is he looking?
1024 11:21:53:04 11:21:55:01 00:00:01:22 24
I’ll leave the key here.
1025 11:22:36:19 11:22:38:12 00:00:01:18 22
Just a moment, please.
1026 11:22:39:16 11:22:41:06 00:00:01:15 10
Watch out.
1027 11:22:52:15 11:22:54:12 00:00:01:22 39
How many eggs did you scramble?
- Four.
1028 11:22:54:22 11:22:56:22 00:00:02:00 41
Four will never be enough
for six people.
1029 11:22:57:07 11:22:58:21 00:00:01:14 5
More?
1030 11:22:59:16 11:23:01:01 00:00:01:10 19
Scramble some more.
1031 11:23:03:14 11:23:05:03 00:00:01:14 17
Use the good pan.
1032 11:23:09:14 11:23:12:24 00:00:03:10 34
Do I have to spell it out for you?
1033 11:23:13:15 11:23:16:08 00:00:02:18 31
Alright. I’m doing it.
- Hurry.
1034 11:23:31:12 11:23:34:22 00:00:03:10 26
It should fit comfortably.
1035 11:23:36:14 11:23:38:18 00:00:02:04 37
Don’t compare Timur with your father.
1036 11:23:39:01 11:23:42:01 00:00:03:00 44
Buying clothes
doesn’t mean raising a child.
1037 11:23:42:12 11:23:44:00 00:00:01:13 26
Listen, Nazik...
- Samira.
1038 11:23:46:02 11:23:48:18 00:00:02:16 46
Kiss my ass, man!
I didn’t do anything to him.
1039 11:23:49:05 11:23:52:19 00:00:03:14 54
If he feels he needs to hate
his sister then go ahead.
1040 11:23:53:18 11:23:57:23 00:00:04:05 62
That’s something terrible, for a boy!
- Your father fucked me!
1041 11:23:59:11 11:24:01:07 00:00:01:21 21
What is she claiming?
1042 11:24:04:11 11:24:06:15 00:00:02:04 38
Both you and my father are dead to me.
1043 11:24:08:24 11:24:13:00 00:00:04:01 47
Why did your husband
never come home from work?
1044 11:24:13:24 11:24:15:13 00:00:01:14 17
For many reasons.
1045 11:24:16:00 11:24:19:01 00:00:03:01 47
What kind of a woman are you?
- A divorced one.
1046 11:24:19:07 11:24:23:06 00:00:03:24 58
You guys have no idea
how much I have to fight in my life!
1047 11:24:51:18 11:24:52:20 00:00:01:02 11
Here, look!
1048 11:24:54:11 11:24:56:05 00:00:01:19 11
My letters.
1049 11:24:56:20 11:24:58:07 00:00:01:12 23
I wrote them to Ilknur.
1050 11:24:58:15 11:25:00:20 00:00:02:05 30
But I didn’t have her address.
1051 11:25:03:20 11:25:05:08 00:00:01:13 30
Shall I read them out?
- Read.
1052 11:25:07:06 11:25:09:22 00:00:02:16 48
My daughter, Birnur,
I wish you a happy holiday.
1053 11:25:10:24 11:25:13:22 00:00:02:23 43
On the day of Arife
henna is being applied.
1054 11:25:14:13 11:25:16:13 00:00:02:00 42
Give me your cheek
and be kissed, my Esra.
1055 11:25:19:00 11:25:20:22 00:00:01:22 19
On today’s holiday,
1056 11:25:21:12 11:25:23:20 00:00:02:08 39
I feel miserable;
don’t come too close.
1057 11:25:24:03 11:25:26:09 00:00:02:06 33
My Nazik,
a happy holiday to you.
1058 11:25:27:05 11:25:29:09 00:00:02:04 43
In the summer the fields
are being watered.
1059 11:25:29:20 11:25:31:18 00:00:01:23 37
Each year there are two celebrations.
1060 11:25:32:08 11:25:35:20 00:00:03:12 41
Every time I think of you,
my eyes water.
1061 11:25:36:13 11:25:39:09 00:00:02:21 46
My son Ali,
especially to you a happy holiday.
1062 11:25:40:12 11:25:43:09 00:00:02:22 39
To write of so much suffering pains me.
1063 11:25:43:19 11:25:44:23 00:00:01:04 11
There, see.
1064 11:25:46:06 11:25:48:06 00:00:02:00 23
I’m not making this up.
1065 11:25:52:02 11:25:55:08 00:00:03:06 45
This separation is worse than death.
My Esra-
1066 11:25:56:07 11:25:58:17 00:00:02:10 21
The things I wrote...
1067 11:26:00:23 11:26:04:13 00:00:03:15 24
All this I wrote to you.
1068 11:26:07:22 11:26:11:15 00:00:03:18 45
I did in fact
stick to my duties as a father.
1069 11:26:16:07 11:26:20:05 00:00:03:23 53
The nights are always cold.
I’ve been left all alone.
1070 11:26:48:21 11:26:51:05 00:00:02:09 10
July, 1999
1071 11:26:52:17 11:26:53:21 00:00:01:04 11
Dear diary,
1072 11:26:54:10 11:26:57:03 00:00:02:18 40
I think today the time has finally come.
1073 11:26:57:11 11:26:59:18 00:00:02:07 31
Today mother got rid of father.
1074 11:27:00:16 11:27:03:05 00:00:02:14 28
I was there and did nothing.
1075 11:27:03:10 11:27:06:17 00:00:03:07 50
There is no question
whether father deserves this,
1076 11:27:06:23 11:27:09:06 00:00:02:08 32
and neither
whether mother does.
1077 11:27:09:17 11:27:11:14 00:00:01:22 45
But what I’m really
racking my brains over is
1078 11:27:11:24 11:27:15:01 00:00:03:02 35
how do I get out of this unscathed.
1079 11:27:22:21 11:27:24:08 00:00:01:12 25
How far are you going up?
1080 11:27:25:07 11:27:26:10 00:00:01:03 19
We’re almost there.
1081 11:27:33:21 11:27:36:19 00:00:02:23 45
Do you remember
that last day at the airport?
1082 11:27:38:13 11:27:40:03 00:00:01:15 19
You said something.
1083 11:27:41:05 11:27:42:20 00:00:01:15 25
I could ask you anything.
1084 11:27:43:24 11:27:46:12 00:00:02:13 46
What did I reply?
- I’ve long since forgotten.
1085 11:27:46:20 11:27:50:06 00:00:03:11 39
I replied that there is nothing to ask.
1086 11:27:50:16 11:27:53:18 00:00:03:02 45
But now I have come up
with something. - Ask.
1087 11:27:57:00 11:28:00:01 00:00:03:01 32
What is there to Nazik’s claims?
1088 11:28:00:17 11:28:03:03 00:00:02:11 25
Nazik is lying. All lies!
1089 11:28:03:16 11:28:08:14 00:00:04:23 48
What is so bad about me
hugging you as a father?
1090 11:28:12:02 11:28:15:04 00:00:03:02 34
To have my daughter sit on my lap?
1091 11:28:15:17 11:28:18:13 00:00:02:21 39
How old was she back then?
Five, seven?
1092 11:28:19:19 11:28:21:05 00:00:01:11 29
She didn’t even go to school.
1093 11:28:21:17 11:28:25:10 00:00:03:18 45
But Nazik says it started
on Esra’s birthday.
1094 11:28:26:07 11:28:27:20 00:00:01:13 24
And she was eleven then.
1095 11:28:28:03 11:28:31:12 00:00:03:09 65
Nonsense; on Esra’s birthday.
We still lived somewhere else then.
1096 11:28:32:02 11:28:33:14 00:00:01:12 25
In this old, moldy house.
1097 11:28:33:24 11:28:35:23 00:00:01:24 18
Maubacher Strasse.
1098 11:28:36:16 11:28:39:10 00:00:02:19 50
And why did Nazik
never want to sleep in her room?
1099 11:28:39:18 11:28:41:23 00:00:02:05 21
But always with Abla?
1100 11:28:42:06 11:28:45:13 00:00:03:07 58
Because that’s how you
had arranged it amongst yourselves.
1101 11:28:46:24 11:28:49:07 00:00:02:08 22
Abla had her own room.
1102 11:28:49:15 11:28:53:05 00:00:03:15 26
Nazik and I shared a room.
1103 11:28:53:14 11:28:56:22 00:00:03:08 63
But after I had left Nazik only wanted
to sleep in Abla’s room.
1104 11:28:57:05 11:28:59:05 00:00:02:00 25
In Abla’s room, with her.
1105 11:29:00:12 11:29:02:03 00:00:01:16 16
Yes...no idea...
1106 11:29:03:05 11:29:04:20 00:00:01:15 7
Father!
1107 11:29:05:03 11:29:06:04 00:00:01:01 14
Not now, Esma.
1108 11:29:06:18 11:29:09:14 00:00:02:21 28
Ali slept in the other room.
1109 11:29:09:22 11:29:11:10 00:00:01:13 25
In front of the bathroom.
1110 11:29:12:02 11:29:13:19 00:00:01:17 24
She was afraid at night.
1111 11:29:14:22 11:29:16:22 00:00:02:00 25
Of having to sleep alone.
1112 11:29:18:09 11:29:22:18 00:00:04:09 43
She was still sucking her thumb
at sixteen.
1113 11:29:25:16 11:29:27:01 00:00:01:10 13
Who?
- Nazik.
1114 11:29:27:18 11:29:30:04 00:00:02:11 24
Why? Your Abla did, too.
1115 11:29:30:16 11:29:33:03 00:00:02:12 35
Nobody sucks their thumb that long.
1116 11:29:33:20 11:29:35:21 00:00:02:01 38
Your Abla did.
- Till she was sixteen?
1117 11:29:36:08 11:29:38:05 00:00:01:22 31
We stuck a needle in her thumb,
1118 11:29:38:13 11:29:40:11 00:00:01:23 35
put chili on it to get her to stop.
1119 11:29:42:06 11:29:44:02 00:00:01:21 34
I wish
I could take him seriously.
1120 11:29:44:23 11:29:46:18 00:00:01:20 41
I didn’t get
a single step closer to him.
1121 11:29:47:12 11:29:50:13 00:00:03:01 55
Years later I am
at the same place with a camera again.
1122 11:29:52:00 11:29:53:13 00:00:01:13 31
Again these are farewell shots.
1123 11:29:53:20 11:29:56:10 00:00:02:15 33
You have built a new life here...
1124 11:29:57:02 11:30:00:05 00:00:03:03 61
You’re welcome anytime.
- And you have re-arranged your life.
1125 11:30:01:21 11:30:05:04 00:00:03:08 64
Aren’t you happy about how things
ultimately turned out for you?
1126 11:30:07:16 11:30:11:22 00:00:04:06 59
Now? What do you mean?
- That this is how things turned out
1127 11:30:12:07 11:30:14:23 00:00:02:16 43
that, according to you,
you were slandered,
1128 11:30:15:13 11:30:17:18 00:00:02:05 22
spent years in prison,
1129 11:30:18:14 11:30:21:14 00:00:03:00 44
and you still got a second chance.
- No way!
1130 11:30:22:00 11:30:24:12 00:00:02:12 52
Since you came here...
- ...my life has been ruined!
1131 11:30:25:13 11:30:28:01 00:00:02:13 53
If I were in Germany,
I’d be an early retiree by now.
1132 11:30:29:04 11:30:32:10 00:00:03:06 28
I’m 63 years old.
- Yes, so?
1133 11:30:32:18 11:30:36:03 00:00:03:10 59
I would have been an
early retiree for three years already.
1134 11:30:36:24 11:30:39:01 00:00:02:02 37
Now I need an extra two years for it.
1135 11:30:41:12 11:30:45:04 00:00:03:17 30
Your mother destroyed my life.
1136 11:30:49:24 11:30:52:20 00:00:02:21 50
Because of her
I had to get married a second time.
1137 11:32:11:21 11:32:14:07 00:00:02:11 39
Look at this mess!
That’s not a family!
1138 11:32:17:01 11:32:18:15 00:00:01:14 22
That’s why I ran away.
1139 11:32:18:23 11:32:21:05 00:00:02:07 31
Because I was beaten every day.
1140 11:32:21:17 11:32:25:11 00:00:03:19 56
Father, I have come here,
to tell you about my feelings.
1141 11:32:25:22 11:32:27:11 00:00:01:14 24
I have never felt loved.
1142 11:32:28:08 11:32:31:21 00:00:03:13 56
But I’ve loved you most of all.
Not once did I beat you.
1143 11:32:32:04 11:32:36:01 00:00:03:22 64
All the time you were beating me.
- Not even a slap in the face!
1144 11:32:36:09 11:32:37:13 00:00:01:04 11
Constantly!
1145 11:32:38:06 11:32:40:02 00:00:01:21 22
I’ve also cried a lot.
1146 11:32:40:11 11:32:42:22 00:00:02:11 36
But crying doesn’t get you anywhere.
1147 11:32:44:01 11:32:46:11 00:00:02:10 40
Love will get you ahead,
I’ve been told.
1148 11:32:46:23 11:32:48:17 00:00:01:19 31
We didn’t give you enough love.
1149 11:32:49:10 11:32:52:05 00:00:02:20 36
And you weren’t good children to us.
1 10:01:05:18 10:01:09:10 00:00:03:17 58
I imagine my parents’ wedding
would have looked like this,
2 10:01:09:16 10:01:12:07 00:00:02:16 56
or somewhat like this.
But as there is no footage of it,
3 10:01:12:13 10:01:14:16 00:00:02:03 26
this footage from my uncle
4 10:01:14:21 10:01:17:22 00:00:03:01 57
and his 16 year old
brides’ wedding will have to suffice.
5 10:02:23:19 10:02:26:11 00:00:02:17 51
That’s funny. Did you see
that sign just now? - No.
6 10:02:26:19 10:02:29:12 00:00:02:18 50
It said “No Football“,
but there was a goal there.
7 10:02:30:11 10:02:33:21 00:00:03:10 53
Can we open the window?
I’m getting hot flashes here.
8 10:02:56:12 10:02:58:02 00:00:01:15 25
This is my mother Beyhan.
9 10:02:58:15 10:03:00:07 00:00:01:17 20
She is 52 years old.
10 10:03:00:12 10:03:04:03 00:00:03:16 48
Divorced,
mother of five and grandmother of two.
11 10:03:05:01 10:03:08:06 00:00:03:05 43
Her only possession
is a funeral insurance,
12 10:03:08:11 10:03:09:23 00:00:01:12 42
guaranteeing
the transfer of her body back
13 10:03:10:03 10:03:12:23 00:00:02:20 33
to her country of origin, Turkey.
14 10:03:13:16 10:03:16:07 00:00:02:16 31
Where she last visited in 1994.
15 10:03:18:03 10:03:19:22 00:00:01:19 35
But all that isn't important today.
16 10:03:20:05 10:03:23:04 00:00:02:24 39
Some friends' wedding awaits attending.
17 10:03:24:07 10:03:26:15 00:00:02:08 42
And she is being
made look pretty by Esra.
18 10:03:27:04 10:03:29:16 00:00:02:12 30
Esra is the pet of the family.
19 10:03:30:12 10:03:32:24 00:00:02:12 51
When she was a child
her sunny nature kept the mood
20 10:03:33:05 10:03:35:17 00:00:02:12 48
on an even keel
and she was a comfort to us all.
21 10:03:36:19 10:03:38:15 00:00:01:21 37
Today she is an aspiring hairdresser,
22 10:03:38:19 10:03:41:03 00:00:02:09 50
who is also madly in love
with her boyfriend Mimi.
23 10:03:44:00 10:03:46:16 00:00:02:16 22
Esra?
And how are you?
24 10:03:48:06 10:03:50:00 00:00:01:19 25
Are you thinking of Mimi?
25 10:03:50:21 10:03:51:24 00:00:01:03 9
Fuck you.
26 10:03:52:12 10:03:54:21 00:00:02:09 34
Do you wish he was here right now?
27 10:03:55:16 10:03:57:09 00:00:01:18 19
I’ll kick your ass.
28 10:03:58:06 10:03:59:17 00:00:01:11 13
Knock it off!
29 10:04:25:08 10:04:27:16 00:00:02:08 40
This young man
is my little brother Ali.
30 10:04:28:16 10:04:31:12 00:00:02:21 52
Over the course of filming
I get to know him better.
31 10:04:31:22 10:04:34:15 00:00:02:18 48
He loves Ninja films,
for example, and Scarface.
32 10:04:34:24 10:04:37:10 00:00:02:11 29
Plus he is always super busy.
33 10:04:50:10 10:04:53:10 00:00:03:00 50
Well, one more day
and you’ll all have your peace.
34 10:04:53:18 10:04:55:13 00:00:01:20 24
They understand Turkish.
35 10:04:55:21 10:04:56:21 00:00:01:00 4
Who?
36 10:04:57:04 10:04:59:17 00:00:02:13 50
Does your mom speak Turkish
or German in the film?
37 10:05:00:00 10:05:02:23 00:00:02:23 40
Both. It’s all being
translated somehow.
38 10:05:03:20 10:05:06:21 00:00:03:01 47
This is Ilknur.
However we all call her "Abla".
39 10:05:07:08 10:05:09:03 00:00:01:20 22
It means "big sister".
40 10:05:10:03 10:05:11:24 00:00:01:21 25
At our Greek holiday home
41 10:05:12:07 10:05:14:22 00:00:02:15 48
Abla is making "Lahmacun"
for her husband Timur.
42 10:05:16:01 10:05:18:09 00:00:02:08 48
Only if Timur is satisfied
with Abla's Lahmacun,
43 10:05:18:14 10:05:20:05 00:00:01:16 35
will he permit her and her two sons
44 10:05:20:15 10:05:22:22 00:00:02:07 39
to attend our friend’s wedding as well.
45 10:05:24:24 10:05:27:15 00:00:02:16 39
Esra, can you help mom
clear the table?
46 10:05:27:23 10:05:30:04 00:00:02:06 36
So we can get
this all done quicker.
47 10:05:30:22 10:05:33:10 00:00:02:13 37
Mother, can I do something like this?
48 10:05:34:00 10:05:37:24 00:00:03:24 42
Like make an arrow
and then do this, blow?
49 10:05:38:20 10:05:40:11 00:00:01:16 6
Can I?
50 10:05:41:05 10:05:42:21 00:00:01:16 14
Can you do it?
51 10:06:21:21 10:06:24:11 00:00:02:15 51
This is my sister Samira,
one year younger than me.
52 10:06:25:04 10:06:28:00 00:00:02:21 36
Samira is named after grandma Nazik.
53 10:06:28:11 10:06:30:22 00:00:02:11 43
But she later changes her name into Samira.
54 10:06:33:02 10:06:35:18 00:00:02:16 47
Here the small wedding
will take place tonight.
55 10:06:36:05 10:06:38:05 00:00:02:00 54
And as a restaurant assistant
of a few hours standing,
56 10:06:38:10 10:06:41:02 00:00:02:17 45
she enjoys
to help out decorating the tables.
57 10:07:04:04 10:07:05:09 00:00:01:05 6
Oh no!
58 10:07:10:20 10:07:12:14 00:00:01:19 24
This can’t be true, man!
59 10:07:12:23 10:07:14:18 00:00:01:20 32
They left all the price tags on.
60 10:07:19:10 10:07:20:17 00:00:01:07 18
At the age of five
61 10:07:20:22 10:07:23:15 00:00:02:18 69
Samira accidently sets herself on fire,
while playing with a lighter.
62 10:07:24:20 10:07:26:03 00:00:01:08 29
Although she is up in flames,
63 10:07:26:08 10:07:28:04 00:00:01:21 33
she does not dare
wake our mother
64 10:07:28:09 10:07:29:13 00:00:01:04 17
and cry for help.
65 10:07:42:10 10:07:44:03 00:00:01:18 15
Biene, quickly!
66 10:07:47:18 10:07:48:17 00:00:00:24 11
This is me.
67 10:07:49:17 10:07:51:10 00:00:01:18 25
My name is Biene Pilavci.
68 10:07:52:04 10:07:53:10 00:00:01:06 18
"Birnur" actually.
69 10:07:53:20 10:07:54:23 00:00:01:03 22
It means "holy light",
70 10:07:55:09 10:07:56:18 00:00:01:09 25
but nobody calls me that.
71 10:07:58:05 10:08:00:05 00:00:02:00 39
As a child I would
pop pills at random,
72 10:08:00:10 10:08:02:03 00:00:01:18 27
leading to my being sickly.
73 10:08:02:16 10:08:04:19 00:00:02:03 32
At night I would roam cemeteries
74 10:08:05:00 10:08:07:12 00:00:02:12 43
and try to kill
my parents with rat poison.
75 10:08:08:12 10:08:11:17 00:00:03:05 47
At my own request
I leave home at the age of 12
76 10:08:11:22 10:08:14:04 00:00:02:07 46
and get placed in a
catholic girl’s care home,
77 10:08:14:09 10:08:16:08 00:00:01:24 31
where I will stay
until I’m 18.
78 10:08:22:22 10:08:24:19 00:00:01:22 41
I’ve been living
in Berlin for years now.
79 10:08:25:09 10:08:27:17 00:00:02:08 35
My family and I
are in touch again.
80 10:08:28:11 10:08:30:22 00:00:02:11 40
However we rarely
discuss our childhood.
81 10:08:31:12 10:08:32:16 00:00:01:04 23
It just isn’t possible.
82 10:08:39:23 10:08:41:04 00:00:01:06 20
How are you?
- Fine.
83 10:08:46:09 10:08:47:18 00:00:01:09 22
Our father isn’t here.
84 10:08:48:12 10:08:50:03 00:00:01:16 40
But I am planning
on visiting him soon -
85 10:08:52:07 10:08:53:18 00:00:01:11 24
along with my siblings -
86 10:08:54:20 10:08:55:19 00:00:00:24 23
it has been a long time
87 10:08:56:04 10:08:57:13 00:00:01:09 21
since I last saw him.
88 10:09:08:12 10:09:10:19 00:00:02:07 43
Even though
I long for a wedding like this,
89 10:09:11:01 10:09:13:06 00:00:02:05 28
With a scarf around my hips,
90 10:09:13:12 10:09:16:01 00:00:02:14 32
flowers in my hair and barefoot,
91 10:09:16:15 10:09:18:14 00:00:01:24 35
I have ultimately accepted the fact
92 10:09:19:00 10:09:22:02 00:00:03:02 39
that I will probably
never get married.
93 10:09:23:05 10:09:24:08 00:00:01:03 13
All the best.
94 10:09:24:23 10:09:26:19 00:00:01:21 35
Perhaps that’s why I’m really here,
95 10:09:27:08 10:09:29:20 00:00:02:12 35
to figure out what’s wrong with me.
96 10:09:40:05 10:09:42:01 00:00:01:21 30
Today’s assembly
is the result
97 10:09:42:11 10:09:44:11 00:00:02:00 35
of a journey
that I already started
98 10:09:44:17 10:09:46:11 00:00:01:19 16
in the late 80s.
99 10:09:47:22 10:09:50:02 00:00:02:05 29
Back then I also made a film.
100 10:09:51:07 10:09:52:13 00:00:01:06 22
And now I’m asking mom
101 10:09:52:20 10:09:54:09 00:00:01:14 26
to dig up those old tapes.
102 10:10:10:07 10:10:11:21 00:00:01:14 17
Could you please?
103 10:10:16:22 10:10:18:14 00:00:01:17 22
Let’s get out of here.
104 10:10:35:19 10:10:36:19 00:00:01:00 20
I shoot this footage
105 10:10:36:23 10:10:39:07 00:00:02:09 33
shortly before leaving my family,
106 10:10:40:03 10:10:41:19 00:00:01:16 29
although I’m not really sure,
107 10:10:41:24 10:10:43:17 00:00:01:18 25
if I am aware of the fact
108 10:10:44:01 10:10:45:17 00:00:01:16 30
that these are farewell shots.
109 10:10:52:04 10:10:54:06 00:00:02:02 11
April, 1990
110 10:10:55:18 10:10:56:21 00:00:01:03 11
Dear diary,
111 10:10:57:11 10:10:58:24 00:00:01:13 24
I did something terrible
112 10:10:59:04 10:11:00:16 00:00:01:12 20
these past two days.
113 10:11:02:00 10:11:03:00 00:00:01:00 26
The night before yesterday
114 10:11:03:06 10:11:07:14 00:00:04:08 53
I took different types of
sandpaper from the toolbox.
115 10:11:07:24 10:11:10:08 00:00:02:09 53
For a long time
I looked at myself in the big mirror;
116 10:11:11:06 10:11:12:21 00:00:01:15 20
a tiny little thing.
117 10:11:14:13 10:11:16:03 00:00:01:15 17
Gingerly at first
118 10:11:16:15 10:11:17:24 00:00:01:09 33
and then
with more and more vigor
119 10:11:18:06 10:11:19:17 00:00:01:11 30
I started rubbing off my skin.
120 10:11:20:06 10:11:21:13 00:00:01:07 18
It stung at first.
121 10:11:22:01 10:11:23:03 00:00:01:02 20
But it was worth it.
122 10:11:26:11 10:11:28:02 00:00:01:16 32
If there is such a thing as fate
123 10:11:28:08 10:11:29:19 00:00:01:11 26
then this has to stop now.
124 10:11:30:10 10:11:32:15 00:00:02:05 44
And before I increase
the rat poison dosages
125 10:11:33:02 10:11:34:01 00:00:00:24 21
it’s better to leave.
126 10:11:35:20 10:11:38:13 00:00:02:18 53
Since the youth welfare office told
mother and father
127 10:11:38:19 10:11:41:16 00:00:02:22 57
that we would be taken away from them
at the next beating
128 10:11:41:24 10:11:43:15 00:00:01:16 14
they watch out
129 10:11:43:20 10:11:45:10 00:00:01:15 27
where exactly they beat us.
130 10:11:46:06 10:11:47:03 00:00:00:22 14
I have no idea
131 10:11:47:07 10:11:50:08 00:00:03:01 51
why they are so keen
on keeping us all of a sudden.
132 10:11:51:03 10:11:53:12 00:00:02:09 53
Maybe because
mother wants to ruin everything for me,
133 10:11:53:18 10:11:56:02 00:00:02:09 42
because we have ruined
everything for her.
134 10:11:56:24 10:11:57:22 00:00:00:23 13
To be honest,
135 10:11:58:03 10:11:59:22 00:00:01:19 20
I don’t give a shit.
136 10:12:01:07 10:12:03:05 00:00:01:23 31
Anyway
the next day I showed up
137 10:12:03:10 10:12:05:20 00:00:02:10 37
at school with a
completely raw face.
138 10:12:06:03 10:12:07:18 00:00:01:15 37
And then
things moved fairly quickly.
139 10:12:08:00 10:12:11:14 00:00:03:14 41
They called the
authorities and a doctor.
140 10:12:12:11 10:12:14:01 00:00:01:15 39
It was all pretty
embarrassing, really.
141 10:12:14:06 10:12:16:12 00:00:02:06 46
Even Oli, you know,
the one I have a crush on,
142 10:12:16:17 10:12:18:01 00:00:01:09 39
and who never took
notice of me before,
143 10:12:18:09 10:12:20:15 00:00:02:06 26
he came up to me and asked
144 10:12:20:20 10:12:22:24 00:00:02:04 27
if I had been hit by a car.
145 10:12:24:14 10:12:27:07 00:00:02:18 32
And now
I’m in this smelly room,
146 10:12:27:12 10:12:28:23 00:00:01:11 30
with this disgusting tapestry,
147 10:12:29:03 10:12:30:13 00:00:01:10 19
on this creaky bed,
148 10:12:30:21 10:12:33:07 00:00:02:11 48
on which hundreds of girls
have slept before me.
149 10:12:35:06 10:12:37:12 00:00:02:06 39
It sucks not to have
anyone to talk to.
150 10:12:37:22 10:12:39:20 00:00:01:23 28
Just you,
some stupid diary.
151 10:12:41:04 10:12:44:10 00:00:03:06 40
Well,
I’ll be going to a new school now,
152 10:12:44:19 10:12:47:07 00:00:02:13 41
and there is
going to be a custody trial.
153 10:12:48:01 10:12:49:02 00:00:01:01 31
But the most
important thing is
154 10:12:49:07 10:12:51:15 00:00:02:08 56
that I will never ever be hit
by mother and father again
155 10:12:52:00 10:12:53:17 00:00:01:17 37
or be treated badly in
any other way.
156 10:12:54:07 10:12:55:13 00:00:01:06 21
Can you imagine that?
157 10:12:56:10 10:12:57:12 00:00:01:02 24
A life without anything?
158 10:12:58:15 10:12:59:19 00:00:01:04 24
For me it’s pretty hard.
159 10:13:04:18 10:13:07:24 00:00:03:06 26
Ali, get out of the frame.
160 10:13:09:07 10:13:10:21 00:00:01:14 24
You’re a horrible child.
161 10:13:11:07 10:13:12:23 00:00:01:16 25
He’s doing it on purpose.
162 10:13:14:21 10:13:16:12 00:00:01:16 33
Sit down.
- I didn’t do anything!
163 10:13:17:06 10:13:18:12 00:00:01:06 12
It was Zeki!
164 10:13:20:04 10:13:22:15 00:00:02:11 27
Ali!
What’s wrong with you?
165 10:13:23:04 10:13:25:15 00:00:02:11 23
Go for it, if you dare.
166 10:13:29:11 10:13:31:22 00:00:02:11 38
I bet this child
will hit you one day.
167 10:13:32:19 10:13:34:07 00:00:01:13 19
Well, I hit harder.
168 10:13:37:00 10:13:39:17 00:00:02:17 42
I’m not really sure
that all this is good.
169 10:13:40:09 10:13:42:19 00:00:02:10 39
Because this complete
change also means
170 10:13:43:00 10:13:45:06 00:00:02:06 41
that I will never be able
to return home.
171 10:13:45:14 10:13:47:07 00:00:01:18 36
My brother and sisters
will hate me.
172 10:13:47:12 10:13:49:12 00:00:02:00 48
Because now they will have
to take all the crap.
173 10:13:50:17 10:13:51:11 00:00:00:19 9
And Esra?
174 10:13:52:16 10:13:54:19 00:00:02:03 37
Last year I already
couldn’t be there
175 10:13:55:00 10:13:57:08 00:00:02:08 48
for her 1st birthday -
because of all the pills.
176 10:13:58:09 10:14:00:00 00:00:01:16 33
And now I might never be able to.
177 10:14:05:06 10:14:06:11 00:00:01:05 19
It’s over for good.
178 10:14:28:20 10:14:32:16 00:00:03:21 46
In the old footage
you fall flat on your face.
179 10:14:32:24 10:14:34:08 00:00:01:09 15
And I was like:
180 10:14:34:17 10:14:38:00 00:00:03:08 37
“I see great success
in your future.“
181 10:14:38:08 10:14:40:18 00:00:02:10 31
Let me have a sip.
- No, don’t!
182 10:14:41:22 10:14:43:06 00:00:01:09 24
Look what I got for you.
183 10:14:45:13 10:14:47:14 00:00:02:01 33
Today it’s
Esra’s birthday again.
184 10:14:48:15 10:14:50:14 00:00:01:24 34
All siblings are expected to come.
185 10:14:51:12 10:14:53:11 00:00:01:24 41
Together
we want to spend a pleasant day.
186 10:14:54:08 10:14:56:17 00:00:02:09 48
But unfortunately
no one is coming to her party.
187 10:14:57:15 10:14:59:00 00:00:01:10 30
They want to be left in peace.
188 10:15:00:16 10:15:03:07 00:00:02:16 38
Are you taking off in a minute?
- Yes!
189 10:15:05:06 10:15:09:13 00:00:04:07 70
Contrary to a previous agreement,
they all refuse to appear on camera.
190 10:15:12:02 10:15:15:14 00:00:03:12 53
And Esra is pissed off with me
for ruining her party.
191 10:15:20:08 10:15:21:06 00:00:00:23 14
That’s enough.
192 10:15:28:23 10:15:30:09 00:00:01:11 11
Okay! Esra!
193 10:15:30:17 10:15:32:17 00:00:02:00 32
You’ve fucked things up with me.
194 10:15:33:00 10:15:36:09 00:00:03:09 43
What’s up?
- I’m through with you for good.
195 10:15:40:18 10:15:43:05 00:00:02:12 37
Okay.
- Tell me what’s wrong already?
196 10:15:43:15 10:15:45:18 00:00:02:03 15
Stay out of it.
197 10:15:47:14 10:15:50:00 00:00:02:11 41
Shut up!
I don’t want to see or hear you!
198 10:15:51:07 10:15:54:02 00:00:02:20 50
You’re pissing me off.
Get out! I’m gonna hit you.
199 10:15:54:10 10:15:57:05 00:00:02:20 25
What’s wrong?
- Piss off!
200 10:15:59:03 10:16:00:07 00:00:01:04 12
Such a crap.
201 10:16:00:15 10:16:02:23 00:00:02:08 42
What’s wrong, Geez, calm down.
- Piss off!
202 10:16:16:19 10:16:18:00 00:00:01:06 7
Mother.
203 10:16:22:11 10:16:25:08 00:00:02:22 47
Don’t go. - I’m not going.
- I'll eat that all.
204 10:16:27:00 10:16:29:01 00:00:02:01 15
Eat...Whatever.
205 10:16:35:08 10:16:37:14 00:00:02:06 31
Weren’t there any small spoons?
206 10:17:35:20 10:17:37:21 00:00:02:01 16
Ah, Hello Özcan.
207 10:17:38:18 10:17:41:18 00:00:03:00 34
Thank the Lord, I’m fine.
And you?
208 10:17:42:16 10:17:45:23 00:00:03:07 54
It’s not the right moment.
I’ll call you back tonight.
209 10:17:57:18 10:18:01:05 00:00:03:12 39
Hey Theo,
are you calling all the time?
210 10:18:02:09 10:18:04:06 00:00:01:22 20
Hold on a sec.
Kurd!
211 10:18:08:17 10:18:10:12 00:00:01:20 24
You still sleeping, man?
212 10:18:12:18 10:18:14:12 00:00:01:19 17
Go back to sleep.
213 10:18:20:00 10:18:23:07 00:00:03:07 44
Yes, give me a call
when you’re awake, okay?
214 10:18:28:19 10:18:30:04 00:00:01:10 5
Theo!
215 10:18:30:24 10:18:33:18 00:00:02:19 41
I had to keep you
waiting there a minute.
216 10:18:34:23 10:18:36:04 00:00:01:06 10
Yeah, man!
217 10:18:39:24 10:18:41:20 00:00:01:21 30
Just look at all the homeless.
218 10:18:43:06 10:18:46:01 00:00:02:20 55
They all want to get arrested
before the winter starts,
219 10:18:46:09 10:18:49:12 00:00:03:03 55
so they can go to jail
and don’t have to sleep outside.
220 10:18:50:17 10:18:53:06 00:00:02:14 40
‘Coz if they go to the homeless
shelter,
221 10:18:53:14 10:18:55:22 00:00:02:08 40
they’ll also have to accept
the 1 € job.
222 10:18:56:05 10:18:59:19 00:00:03:14 56
And I say, before I do that,
I’d also rather go to jail.
223 10:19:01:12 10:19:04:04 00:00:02:17 44
But now you wouldn’t
go back to jail, right?
224 10:19:04:14 10:19:07:04 00:00:02:15 34
Now you’ve pretty much settled in.
225 10:19:08:00 10:19:09:02 00:00:01:02 11
Settled in?
226 10:19:12:03 10:19:15:12 00:00:03:09 59
In jail you don’t have any problems.
You’ve got no worries.
227 10:19:16:15 10:19:19:09 00:00:02:19 47
It’s true.
You don’t have any problems in jail.
228 10:19:20:09 10:19:22:04 00:00:01:20 29
If you switch off your brain.
229 10:19:22:19 10:19:24:09 00:00:01:15 24
I was doing okay, Biene.
230 10:19:24:17 10:19:26:24 00:00:02:07 43
I had food every day,
could cook every day.
231 10:19:30:06 10:19:33:15 00:00:03:09 61
But you had to subordinate
to all those rules and everything.
232 10:19:34:02 10:19:35:07 00:00:01:05 16
We had no rules.
233 10:19:36:02 10:19:38:19 00:00:02:17 37
Outside there are just as many rules.
234 10:19:39:10 10:19:42:02 00:00:02:17 53
There are as many rules.
- But they’re not as strict.
235 10:19:42:10 10:19:44:17 00:00:02:07 41
Outside you’re not being told
what to do.
236 10:19:45:08 10:19:48:22 00:00:03:14 71
I believe the rules on the outside
are much harsher than on the inside.
237 10:19:51:00 10:19:53:14 00:00:02:14 42
’Coz out there anything
can happen to you.
238 10:19:53:22 10:19:55:20 00:00:01:23 37
In there, things don’t happen to you.
239 10:19:56:04 10:19:58:24 00:00:02:20 54
If you stick to the rules.
And there aren’t that many.
240 10:19:59:16 10:20:02:11 00:00:02:20 55
But there was very little room.
Didn’t that bother you?
241 10:20:02:19 10:20:05:07 00:00:02:13 42
I had a solitary cell.
Nobody bothered me.
242 10:20:05:15 10:20:08:04 00:00:02:14 45
Single room?
Is that something special there?
243 10:20:09:20 10:20:12:04 00:00:02:09 43
Not everyone gets it.
- Why did you get it?
244 10:20:13:00 10:20:15:21 00:00:02:21 49
’Coz I lost my shit.
- How long were you in jail?
245 10:20:16:15 10:20:19:13 00:00:02:23 28
19 months, 28 days, 6 hours.
246 10:20:23:12 10:20:25:23 00:00:02:11 38
I was released at 6 a.m. in Heilbronn.
247 10:20:27:10 10:20:28:19 00:00:01:09 17
Heilbronn?
- Yes.
248 10:20:29:08 10:20:31:04 00:00:01:21 35
That’s where dad used to be, right?
249 10:20:31:14 10:20:33:17 00:00:02:03 29
I was on the same floor, too.
250 10:20:34:20 10:20:38:23 00:00:04:03 53
Didn’t they say
you were just like Mr. Pilavci? - No.
251 10:20:40:21 10:20:43:20 00:00:02:24 51
Father was in jail for rape,
I was there for drugs.
252 10:20:44:03 10:20:47:15 00:00:03:12 57
Mother denounced father
for raping her. Which isn’t true.
253 10:20:47:23 10:20:50:00 00:00:02:02 39
I carried him up to his bed that night.
254 10:20:50:19 10:20:52:19 00:00:02:00 37
He couldn’t
climb the stairs anymore.
255 10:20:53:06 10:20:55:01 00:00:01:20 33
Had I known what mother
would do,
256 10:20:55:09 10:20:57:10 00:00:02:01 42
I would have let him
sleep it off outside.
257 10:20:57:18 10:21:00:16 00:00:02:23 54
Why couldn’t he climb the stairs?
- ’Coz he was drunk!
258 10:21:03:10 10:21:05:21 00:00:02:11 46
You know how father was:
a wino, an alcoholic.
259 10:21:06:04 10:21:08:16 00:00:02:12 45
And that’s why he wasn’t able
to rape mother?
260 10:21:09:08 10:21:13:08 00:00:04:00 40
On that day,
I put food in front of him,
261 10:21:14:03 10:21:17:09 00:00:03:06 34
and he couldn’t even feed himself.
262 10:21:17:17 10:21:20:13 00:00:02:21 53
He’s supposed to have raped a woman?
Are you kidding?
263 10:21:25:08 10:21:28:03 00:00:02:20 30
And then I hear from Samira...
264 10:21:28:23 10:21:30:20 00:00:01:22 20
"My father wanted...
265 10:21:31:14 10:21:34:23 00:00:03:09 61
Dad also tried it with me.“
Then I hear the same from Ilknur.
266 10:21:35:06 10:21:36:13 00:00:01:07 23
Are you all kidding me?
267 10:21:37:00 10:21:39:24 00:00:02:24 52
Are you ALL kidding me?
Did he try it with you, too?
268 10:21:40:07 10:21:42:07 00:00:02:00 41
Y’all know me.
You know exactly how I am.
269 10:21:42:15 10:21:45:10 00:00:02:20 46
If somebody says to me
“Dad tried to rape me.“
270 10:21:45:18 10:21:47:07 00:00:01:14 30
I would have killed my father.
271 10:21:48:02 10:21:50:10 00:00:02:08 44
I wouldn’t have called him
“father“ anymore.
272 10:21:53:10 10:21:55:23 00:00:02:13 39
Maybe that’s why they haven’t told you.
273 10:21:56:06 10:21:58:20 00:00:02:14 41
Because they didn’t really
wish him dead.
274 10:21:59:08 10:22:01:23 00:00:02:15 48
They maybe better should
keep their mouths shut.
275 10:22:03:06 10:22:04:22 00:00:01:16 20
When he was in jail.
276 10:22:05:13 10:22:08:10 00:00:02:22 46
And talk about things
that happened years ago.
277 10:22:15:01 10:22:17:04 00:00:02:03 32
That’s why I don’t believe them.
278 10:22:18:14 10:22:20:18 00:00:02:04 31
I don’t believe either of them.
279 10:22:25:24 10:22:28:19 00:00:02:20 43
Biene, you should be glad
you weren’t here.
280 10:22:29:03 10:22:32:24 00:00:03:21 38
Be glad you weren’t here for all this.
281 10:22:33:07 10:22:36:02 00:00:02:20 46
That’s why she did it.
It wasn't easy for her.
282 10:22:36:10 10:22:39:11 00:00:03:01 51
She just wanted to get rid of him
once and for all.
283 10:22:39:18 10:22:41:10 00:00:01:17 9
So, what?
284 10:22:42:13 10:22:45:12 00:00:02:24 48
Is that how you have
to get rid of your husband?
285 10:22:45:20 10:22:47:12 00:00:01:17 18
With rape charges?
286 10:22:47:20 10:22:50:12 00:00:02:17 36
There was no other way.
- There was!
287 10:22:50:20 10:22:54:09 00:00:03:14 66
If she had just dealt with it
one more year; I would have been 18.
288 10:22:54:17 10:22:56:22 00:00:02:05 9
I was 17.
289 10:22:57:14 10:23:02:15 00:00:05:01 65
D’you think father would have still
come home drunk off his face?
290 10:23:02:23 10:23:05:17 00:00:02:19 40
Father would never have
come home drunk.
291 10:23:06:07 10:23:10:08 00:00:04:01 69
“Either you knock off that bullshit,
or you don’t come back. Period.“
292 10:23:12:00 10:23:14:22 00:00:02:22 45
Period, Biene.
I would have protected mother.
293 10:23:15:05 10:23:18:02 00:00:02:22 24
I wanted to protect her.
294 10:23:18:10 10:23:20:10 00:00:02:00 26
But she didn’t want me to.
295 10:23:20:18 10:23:22:18 00:00:02:00 31
It was slightly different, Ali.
296 10:23:24:03 10:23:28:16 00:00:04:13 53
Shortly before mother went
to see you in Ludwigsburg,
297 10:23:30:04 10:23:33:17 00:00:03:13 49
I nearly killed her,
if I had had a proper knife.
298 10:23:34:00 10:23:36:17 00:00:02:17 50
That’s why I found her
a flat outside of Backnang.
299 10:23:37:00 10:23:40:19 00:00:03:19 30
But why did I almost kill her?
300 10:23:41:02 10:23:42:14 00:00:01:12 11
Why?
- Why?
301 10:23:42:23 10:23:47:03 00:00:04:05 67
My little sister is sleeping next door
and she’s screwing some guy.
302 10:23:50:04 10:23:52:07 00:00:02:03 18
Biene, that’s why.
303 10:23:52:15 10:23:56:11 00:00:03:21 65
And I still regret that I didn’t have
a proper knife at the time.
304 10:23:58:07 10:24:00:09 00:00:02:02 40
Actually, it’s good
you didn’t have one.
305 10:24:00:18 10:24:01:22 00:00:01:04 18
I still regret it.
306 10:24:06:24 10:24:10:11 00:00:03:12 45
Does Ali think
I wasn’t a good mother to him?
307 10:24:10:19 10:24:12:24 00:00:02:05 18
Among other things
308 10:24:13:10 10:24:15:19 00:00:02:09 11
that you...
309 10:24:20:17 10:24:23:00 00:00:02:08 35
deliberately set a trap
for father.
310 10:24:23:08 10:24:24:17 00:00:01:09 7
Indeed!
311 10:24:27:19 10:24:30:09 00:00:02:15 50
He has no clue what I had
to take from his father.
312 10:24:31:15 10:24:33:23 00:00:02:08 40
If he loves him so,
he should go to him.
313 10:24:34:06 10:24:36:17 00:00:02:11 42
That’s his plan.
He wants to kick his ass.
314 10:24:37:10 10:24:39:21 00:00:02:11 29
Whose ass? - Father’s.
- Why?
315 10:24:40:08 10:24:43:07 00:00:02:24 50
That’s the part of the story
I didn’t get, either.
316 10:24:43:15 10:24:45:12 00:00:01:22 26
You should have asked him.
317 10:24:45:22 10:24:47:13 00:00:01:16 17
I didn’t, though.
318 10:25:00:21 10:25:02:24 00:00:02:03 25
Biene, go to your father.
319 10:25:05:12 10:25:07:16 00:00:02:04 45
That’s the man
my brother was talking about -
320 10:25:08:05 10:25:09:11 00:00:01:06 11
our father.
321 10:25:10:02 10:25:13:01 00:00:02:24 54
Here he is spending
the summer with me in his village.
322 10:25:13:18 10:25:18:08 00:00:04:15 66
When he came as a worker to Germany
all by himself in the mid-70s,
323 10:25:18:18 10:25:20:09 00:00:01:16 34
his parents at home
suggest a girl
324 10:25:20:14 10:25:22:24 00:00:02:10 40
from a neighboring village
as his bride.
325 10:25:23:18 10:25:26:12 00:00:02:19 38
He isn’t picky
and marries our mother.
326 10:25:27:09 10:25:32:06 00:00:04:22 55
After having served time
for beating and raping mother,
327 10:25:32:12 10:25:35:16 00:00:03:04 39
he was deported
back to Turkey in 2001.
328 10:25:36:14 10:25:38:14 00:00:02:00 36
Since that time
we haven’t seen him.
329 10:25:38:22 10:25:40:10 00:00:01:13 40
Up until now
this has been a good thing.
330 10:26:42:10 10:26:43:22 00:00:01:12 24
Why is my mother crying?
331 10:26:44:18 10:26:46:20 00:00:02:02 34
Is she crying
for her late father?
332 10:26:48:23 10:26:51:07 00:00:02:09 47
When she is being married off
to an "Alamanci",
333 10:26:51:12 10:26:53:18 00:00:02:06 44
a Turkish immigrant worker
at the age of 15,
334 10:26:53:24 10:26:56:15 00:00:02:16 57
her father is not only counting
on a massive bride price,
335 10:26:56:20 10:27:00:03 00:00:03:08 58
but also on a wheelchair
for his two smoker’s legs stumps.
336 10:27:00:08 10:27:02:07 00:00:01:24 33
His future
son-in-law is planning
337 10:27:02:12 10:27:04:13 00:00:02:01 26
to purchase it in Germany.
338 10:27:05:18 10:27:07:15 00:00:01:22 38
That would stop
the villagers’ gawping
339 10:27:07:20 10:27:11:17 00:00:03:22 66
at his wife’s having to carry him
through the village on her back.
340 10:27:16:23 10:27:19:20 00:00:02:22 65
On the morning of the wedding
while all the men are at the mosque
341 10:27:20:01 10:27:22:15 00:00:02:14 42
my granny Halime
whispers to her daughter:
342 10:27:23:03 10:27:25:07 00:00:02:04 30
"Run away if you have a lover.
343 10:27:25:12 10:27:26:15 00:00:01:03 31
Hide in the mountains together.
344 10:27:26:22 10:27:28:05 00:00:01:08 26
And do better than I did."
345 10:27:29:19 10:27:33:01 00:00:03:07 61
But my mother Beyhan
doesn’t have a lover who could save her.
346 10:27:35:06 10:27:38:04 00:00:02:23 56
On this day the whole village
is dancing at her wedding.
347 10:27:38:18 10:27:39:17 00:00:00:24 16
Three days later
348 10:27:39:24 10:27:42:04 00:00:02:05 41
the stranger Mehmet
takes her to Germany.
349 10:27:45:22 10:27:48:09 00:00:02:12 53
There the shepherdess finds work
in the assembly line
350 10:27:48:14 10:27:50:05 00:00:01:16 37
of the chainsaw manufacturer "Stihl".
351 10:27:50:16 10:27:52:23 00:00:02:07 48
There she is also supposed
to learn how to read.
352 10:27:53:15 10:27:55:03 00:00:01:13 56
That however will seize to be
an option fairly early on,
353 10:27:55:07 10:27:57:07 00:00:02:00 44
as she severs two of her
fingertips at work.
354 10:28:00:16 10:28:03:14 00:00:02:23 50
Four years shall pass
before her first visit home.
355 10:28:04:07 10:28:05:19 00:00:01:12 44
She’s going to be a mother
of three by then.
356 10:28:06:00 10:28:07:12 00:00:01:12 28
A fourth child is on the way
357 10:28:07:20 10:28:11:01 00:00:03:06 53
before she gives birth
to her last child years later.
358 10:28:11:20 10:28:12:21 00:00:01:01 35
And her father Ahmet
is still being
359 10:28:13:02 10:28:15:15 00:00:02:13 47
carried through the village
on his wife’s back.
360 10:28:16:00 10:28:18:19 00:00:02:19 48
For the bad roads
of the village the wheelechair
361 10:28:19:03 10:28:20:13 00:00:01:10 22
will prove unsuitable.
362 10:28:29:21 10:28:30:23 00:00:01:02 12
I’m not sure
363 10:28:31:04 10:28:33:19 00:00:02:15 51
if mother will ever be
able to forgive per parents.
364 10:29:04:08 10:29:06:06 00:00:01:23 34
"Would you like a glass of water?"
365 10:29:07:09 10:29:09:12 00:00:02:03 32
Would you like a glass of water?
366 10:29:09:21 10:29:13:07 00:00:03:11 35
No, I would like some orange juice.
367 10:29:13:15 10:29:16:15 00:00:03:00 53
Exactly. Or: “No, I’d rather have
some orange juice.”
368 10:29:16:23 10:29:20:16 00:00:03:18 28
Now Mrs. Calis.
Ask Andreas.
369 10:29:23:24 10:29:26:17 00:00:02:18 31
“Would you like coffee or tea?“
370 10:29:27:12 10:29:29:20 00:00:02:08 38
Yes? Mrs. Calis,
you go ahead and ask.
371 10:29:30:07 10:29:32:23 00:00:02:16 31
Hello...I can also say “hello”.
372 10:29:34:20 10:29:38:02 00:00:03:07 36
Would you like coffee or tea?
- Tea.
373 10:29:38:10 10:29:39:17 00:00:01:07 14
“Tea, please.”
374 10:29:40:00 10:29:42:04 00:00:02:04 23
Tea, please.
- Alright.
375 10:30:19:15 10:30:21:03 00:00:01:13 22
Biene, you stupid cow!
376 10:30:23:19 10:30:25:05 00:00:01:11 20
One day in midsummer
377 10:30:25:10 10:30:27:17 00:00:02:07 44
Abla comes home
late from the swimming pool.
378 10:30:28:16 10:30:31:09 00:00:02:18 53
Mother confronts her
and starts giving her a beating.
379 10:30:31:20 10:30:34:03 00:00:02:08 52
Abla tears herself free
and runs out of the kitchen.
380 10:30:34:17 10:30:37:21 00:00:03:04 63
Mother grabs something at random
and throws it after her child.
381 10:30:38:09 10:30:39:24 00:00:01:15 26
Abla gets hit in the back.
382 10:30:40:05 10:30:41:08 00:00:01:03 13
She flinches.
383 10:30:41:12 10:30:42:09 00:00:00:22 15
Then a clatter.
384 10:30:42:16 10:30:44:09 00:00:01:18 34
A sharp knife falls to the ground.
385 10:30:44:19 10:30:47:20 00:00:03:01 48
Abla’s back gapes open
and her lung can be seen.
386 10:30:49:07 10:30:51:09 00:00:02:02 28
A sight I will never forget:
387 10:30:51:21 10:30:55:17 00:00:03:21 53
A pink cluster of vibrating,
corn-seed-sized pellets.
388 10:30:58:00 10:31:01:11 00:00:03:11 56
Not that many are coming.
Would completely lose my cool.
389 10:31:01:19 10:31:04:02 00:00:02:08 24
That many aren’t coming.
390 10:31:04:10 10:31:07:20 00:00:03:10 24
Where?
- To the concert.
391 10:31:08:03 10:31:10:14 00:00:02:11 35
The concert is in a big auditorium.
392 10:31:10:22 10:31:14:02 00:00:03:05 52
Not too many are coming.
I would completely lose it.
393 10:31:14:10 10:31:16:22 00:00:02:12 20
Why?
- Just because.
394 10:31:22:11 10:31:24:08 00:00:01:22 27
Mother, come here a minute.
395 10:31:25:19 10:31:27:04 00:00:01:10 7
Scared?
396 10:31:27:10 10:31:29:07 00:00:01:22 12
Oral herpes.
397 10:31:52:24 10:31:55:03 00:00:02:04 12
You like it?
398 10:31:56:05 10:31:58:07 00:00:02:02 23
When the wolf gets old,
399 10:31:59:05 10:32:02:12 00:00:03:07 47
he turns into a masquerade.
- What do you mean?
400 10:32:04:00 10:32:06:13 00:00:02:13 38
That woman is poking fun at her guest.
401 10:32:07:00 10:32:08:08 00:00:01:08 11
What woman?
402 10:32:10:03 10:32:12:12 00:00:02:09 23
Esra, the TV presenter.
403 10:32:14:15 10:32:18:06 00:00:03:16 57
The studio guests.
Everyone is poking fun at the elderly.
404 10:32:18:23 10:32:20:06 00:00:01:08 21
Mother is wary of me.
405 10:32:20:17 10:32:25:03 00:00:04:11 63
Perhaps because there’s no one -
except her, me and the camera.
406 10:32:25:09 10:32:27:04 00:00:01:20 11
Old saying.
407 10:32:27:12 10:32:30:09 00:00:02:22 42
This is the first talk
we’ve had in years.
408 10:32:30:20 10:32:33:11 00:00:02:16 47
Would you like to go
to the wedding show? - No.
409 10:32:33:20 10:32:35:02 00:00:01:07 8
Why not?
410 10:32:35:10 10:32:37:16 00:00:02:06 39
You’re looking for a husband after all.
411 10:32:38:08 10:32:39:10 00:00:01:02 3
So?
412 10:32:45:02 10:32:47:11 00:00:02:09 41
Every time your Abla
does the same thing.
413 10:32:48:05 10:32:51:07 00:00:03:02 50
As soon as she’s here
she needs to take off again.
414 10:32:52:01 10:32:53:19 00:00:01:18 24
What do I get out of it?
415 10:32:56:16 10:32:59:03 00:00:02:12 36
Is that why you want to get married?
416 10:33:06:23 10:33:08:10 00:00:01:12 25
Because I’m always alone.
417 10:33:09:16 10:33:11:19 00:00:02:03 38
For a conversation you need a partner.
418 10:33:17:21 10:33:20:13 00:00:02:17 37
Once you’ve found someone to talk to,
419 10:33:20:21 10:33:23:15 00:00:02:19 38
will you still be watching so much TV?
420 10:33:26:20 10:33:29:05 00:00:02:10 27
But that’s completely nuts.
421 10:33:30:16 10:33:34:02 00:00:03:11 33
We could talk about what’s on TV!
422 10:33:37:15 10:33:41:07 00:00:03:17 44
She murdered
the blonde’s daughter. In jail.
423 10:33:42:03 10:33:43:17 00:00:01:14 27
She had set a trap for her.
424 10:33:44:00 10:33:45:07 00:00:01:07 9
For real?
425 10:33:45:15 10:33:48:04 00:00:02:14 21
No, just in the show.
426 10:33:49:12 10:33:51:12 00:00:02:00 21
The blonde’s daughter
427 10:33:57:19 10:34:00:18 00:00:02:24 34
has her boyfriend make her a baby.
428 10:34:03:14 10:34:06:07 00:00:02:18 35
He was also her mother’s boyfriend!
429 10:34:07:04 10:34:09:18 00:00:02:14 49
That’s why her mother
murders her own grandchild.
430 10:34:10:01 10:34:13:16 00:00:03:15 58
Yes? - The granny kills her
own grandchild out of revenge.
431 10:34:13:24 10:34:16:09 00:00:02:10 25
and gets convicted for it
432 10:34:17:23 10:34:22:11 00:00:04:13 58
That makes her daughter mad,
of course, and she takes off.
433 10:34:24:00 10:34:26:16 00:00:02:16 13
October, 1995
434 10:34:27:16 10:34:28:19 00:00:01:03 11
Dear diary,
435 10:34:29:08 10:34:34:07 00:00:04:24 56
It’s been 3 days
since I checked myself out of hospital.
436 10:34:34:13 10:34:37:13 00:00:03:00 50
There has to be some advantages
to being an adult.
437 10:34:37:17 10:34:41:11 00:00:03:19 67
Due to some stupid coincidence
my family heard about my break-down.
438 10:34:42:00 10:34:44:20 00:00:02:20 47
Mother and Abla did not pass up
the opportunity
439 10:34:45:00 10:34:48:00 00:00:03:00 38
to visit me and to tell me,
yet again,
440 10:34:48:05 10:34:50:11 00:00:02:06 36
what they think
of my pathetic life.
441 10:34:50:22 10:34:53:23 00:00:03:01 57
When the night nurse
reminded them of the visiting hours,
442 10:34:54:03 10:34:58:06 00:00:04:03 59
they outdid each other
in cursing me and then finally left.
443 10:34:58:20 10:35:00:10 00:00:01:15 33
Afterwards I ran into the garden.
444 10:35:00:23 10:35:02:19 00:00:01:21 37
I let myself fall into the wet grass.
445 10:35:03:19 10:35:05:17 00:00:01:23 25
The only thing I remember
446 10:35:05:22 10:35:07:23 00:00:02:01 39
is my pulling out
the hypodermic needle
447 10:35:08:06 10:35:11:12 00:00:03:06 48
and feeling my eyelids
relax from their tension.
448 10:35:12:15 10:35:13:14 00:00:00:24 22
I later found out that
449 10:35:13:19 10:35:15:16 00:00:01:22 49
a construction worker
had carried me back inside.
450 10:35:16:02 10:35:19:16 00:00:03:14 61
The next morning I took steps
to be safe from further visits.
451 10:35:20:24 10:35:24:14 00:00:03:15 58
Mother, STOP. I’m getting dizzy.
How do you know all that?
452 10:35:25:02 10:35:26:12 00:00:01:10 20
I’m always watching.
453 10:35:27:12 10:35:30:03 00:00:02:16 24
Geez!
You know everyone.
454 10:35:31:20 10:35:35:22 00:00:04:02 69
Well, in the evenings I always watch TV.
There is nothing else to do.
455 10:35:37:13 10:35:40:14 00:00:03:01 31
That’s how I get through a day.
456 10:35:41:04 10:35:43:05 00:00:02:01 22
What else should I do?
457 10:35:44:13 10:35:45:15 00:00:01:02 15
I don’t go out.
458 10:35:46:02 10:35:49:21 00:00:03:19 63
You’ll never find a husband like this.
- Going out costs money.
459 10:35:50:06 10:35:53:17 00:00:03:11 37
And I don’t like going out on my own.
460 10:35:55:01 10:35:58:11 00:00:03:10 54
And in this weather.
- Then take up knitting, like me.
461 10:35:58:22 10:36:00:11 00:00:01:14 28
Then you can knit at a café.
462 10:36:01:18 10:36:05:00 00:00:03:07 22
Or what about reading?
463 10:36:06:13 10:36:09:05 00:00:02:17 53
Before reading at a café
I might as well sit at home.
464 10:36:09:15 10:36:12:04 00:00:02:14 48
And you will never meet
anyone this way, either.
465 10:36:12:15 10:36:17:05 00:00:04:15 58
If you just sit in a café
knitting and not looking around.
466 10:36:20:02 10:36:21:20 00:00:01:18 16
Human or animal?
467 10:36:22:01 10:36:24:14 00:00:02:13 32
You need at least 8 hours sleep.
468 10:36:25:20 10:36:30:14 00:00:04:19 40
10 are better.
- Biene, stop filming me.
469 10:36:32:04 10:36:35:12 00:00:03:08 36
You’re going to be a Hollywood Star.
470 10:36:35:20 10:36:37:20 00:00:02:00 11
No, thanks.
471 10:36:38:03 10:36:41:14 00:00:03:11 54
Mother, she’s filming your ugliness.
And dad’s beauty.
472 10:36:41:22 10:36:45:13 00:00:03:16 47
Man, you’re so stupid.
Insulting her like that.
473 10:36:46:13 10:36:48:01 00:00:01:13 13
I don’t care.
474 10:36:48:13 10:36:52:01 00:00:03:13 42
Which one of us is prettier:
mother or me?
475 10:36:53:10 10:36:54:15 00:00:01:05 8
Neither.
476 10:36:55:22 10:36:58:13 00:00:02:16 38
She means you’re equally good-looking.
477 10:36:59:03 10:37:00:21 00:00:01:18 21
What are you washing?
478 10:37:02:21 10:37:04:05 00:00:01:09 9
Get lost!
479 10:37:14:08 10:37:16:14 00:00:02:06 39
Where have you been, Mikail?
- Nowhere.
480 10:37:16:22 10:37:17:24 00:00:01:02 12
How are you?
481 10:37:19:08 10:37:20:09 00:00:01:01 13
Fine, thanks.
482 10:37:20:22 10:37:23:17 00:00:02:20 38
Hi, what are you doing?
- Job hunting.
483 10:37:24:00 10:37:25:09 00:00:01:09 15
For you?
- Yes.
484 10:37:26:05 10:37:27:06 00:00:01:01 19
No one’s answering.
485 10:37:27:15 10:37:30:15 00:00:03:00 15
Good afternoon?
486 10:37:27:15 10:37:30:15 00:00:03:00 31
- Yes, hello, my name is Sefer.
487 10:37:30:23 10:37:34:09 00:00:03:11 54
Is Mr...I can’t remember his name,
but is the boss in?
488 10:37:34:17 10:37:37:02 00:00:02:10 10
Mr. Acker?
489 10:37:34:17 10:37:37:02 00:00:02:10 24
- There is no Mr. Acker.
490 10:37:37:10 10:37:39:14 00:00:02:04 30
I think he was the son-in-law.
491 10:37:40:09 10:37:42:15 00:00:02:06 14
Mr. Achenbach.
492 10:37:40:09 10:37:42:15 00:00:02:06 22
- Mr. Achenbach, okay.
493 10:37:42:22 10:37:44:17 00:00:01:20 17
And you are Mrs-?
494 10:37:42:22 10:37:44:17 00:00:01:20 8
- Sefer,
495 10:37:45:01 10:37:47:24 00:00:02:23 42
I just wanted to ask
about my application.
496 10:37:48:07 10:37:51:08 00:00:03:01 29
I handed it in two weeks ago.
497 10:37:51:18 10:37:55:05 00:00:03:12 43
I just wanted to know
what will happen now.
498 10:37:56:01 10:37:58:15 00:00:02:14 30
If he decided anything or not.
499 10:38:07:14 10:38:09:12 00:00:01:23 29
Now I’m in a bad mood.
- Why?
500 10:38:10:13 10:38:12:02 00:00:01:14 27
Because it didn’t work out.
501 10:38:13:07 10:38:16:18 00:00:03:11 65
“Hello, I just wanted to ask,
if you have come to a decision yet.
502 10:38:17:01 10:38:21:01 00:00:04:00 63
Would it be possible to speak with
Mr. Ackermann.“ Or whatever.
503 10:38:21:09 10:38:23:17 00:00:02:08 48
You have to know
the guy’s name before you call.
504 10:38:24:00 10:38:26:03 00:00:02:03 52
You can’t say:
“Hello, what’s the boss’ name again?”
505 10:38:26:17 10:38:28:24 00:00:02:07 34
I lost the friggin’ business card.
506 10:38:29:07 10:38:31:06 00:00:01:24 33
But you’ve saved the application.
507 10:38:31:14 10:38:34:04 00:00:02:15 42
You could have checked
who you sent it to.
508 10:38:34:12 10:38:36:23 00:00:02:11 30
But I didn’t think about that.
509 10:38:38:07 10:38:40:12 00:00:02:05 32
Biene, what am I supposed to do?
510 10:38:40:21 10:38:43:12 00:00:02:16 37
My self-esteem is completely crushed.
511 10:38:43:21 10:38:45:13 00:00:01:17 10
No wonder!
512 10:38:47:17 10:38:50:22 00:00:03:05 43
Salamander Shoewear.
But that’s probably...
513 10:38:51:17 10:38:55:15 00:00:03:23 68
“Yes, we may. - Great, could I
send you an unsolicited application?“
514 10:38:58:16 10:39:01:13 00:00:02:22 40
Should I give it a try?
Give that to me.
515 10:39:04:11 10:39:06:22 00:00:02:11 33
Goertz Stuttgart, how may I help?
516 10:39:07:05 10:39:09:14 00:00:02:09 35
Good afternoon.
My name is Pilavci.
517 10:39:10:05 10:39:12:07 00:00:02:02 17
Hang on a minute.
518 10:39:34:11 10:39:37:04 00:00:02:18 53
What is that?
- I got it for our wedding anniversary.
519 10:39:37:12 10:39:39:04 00:00:01:17 25
How did you get the idea?
520 10:39:39:12 10:39:43:09 00:00:03:22 75
I paid 200 € for that crap and it didn’t
even turn out the way I wanted it.
521 10:39:43:17 10:39:45:15 00:00:01:23 25
HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
522 10:39:46:06 10:39:48:20 00:00:02:14 51
How did you get
the idea to do something like that?
523 10:39:49:10 10:39:50:24 00:00:01:14 22
I saw that at Canan’s.
524 10:39:51:16 10:39:53:08 00:00:01:17 32
And I thought it was really nice
525 10:39:53:23 10:39:58:15 00:00:04:17 70
and that for a 10th wedding anniversary
I should do something special.
526 10:39:58:23 10:40:03:02 00:00:04:04 73
Something nice, instead of just buying
some crappy underpants or perfume.
527 10:40:03:10 10:40:05:23 00:00:02:13 48
The guy was a moron.
No way do I look like that.
528 10:40:06:06 10:40:07:22 00:00:01:16 34
He made me look like Samantha Fox.
529 10:40:08:08 10:40:11:04 00:00:02:21 38
Then we emailed him, like a complaint.
530 10:40:11:12 10:40:14:02 00:00:02:15 38
I said he should put me in torn jeans.
531 10:40:14:14 10:40:18:12 00:00:03:23 66
Then I said one foot should be
in sneakers and the other in pumps.
532 10:40:18:20 10:40:20:21 00:00:02:01 14
And this book?
533 10:40:21:15 10:40:24:14 00:00:02:24 33
“The Secrets to a Happy Marriage“
534 10:40:25:08 10:40:27:19 00:00:02:11 44
As if I knew the secrets
to a good marriage.
535 10:40:28:21 10:40:31:08 00:00:02:12 46
You just had your
10 year wedding anniversary!
536 10:40:31:16 10:40:33:11 00:00:01:20 38
Obviously you know
something about it.
537 10:40:33:19 10:40:35:01 00:00:01:07 12
Such a crap.
538 10:40:35:09 10:40:36:12 00:00:01:03 14
I wrote to him
539 10:40:36:20 10:40:39:01 00:00:02:06 43
he should draw his hand
around my shoulder,
540 10:40:39:18 10:40:42:18 00:00:03:00 65
in the other one holding his laptop
and wearing a leather jacket.
541 10:40:43:03 10:40:46:09 00:00:03:06 66
Are you listening, you dumb ass?
- Of course! You’re the dumb ass!
542 10:40:46:17 10:40:49:16 00:00:02:24 29
And definitely those bubbles,
543 10:40:50:01 10:40:52:18 00:00:02:17 50
that say ”Oddset, Oddset”,
cause he likes betting.
544 10:40:53:00 10:40:54:17 00:00:01:17 26
Thought bubbles.
- Abla...
545 10:40:55:12 10:40:57:14 00:00:02:02 24
your marriage, right,...
546 10:40:59:18 10:41:01:06 00:00:01:13 19
how do you like it?
547 10:41:01:14 10:41:04:01 00:00:02:12 35
Very nice, I can only recommend it.
548 10:41:07:04 10:41:09:14 00:00:02:10 24
Seriously, though, Abla.
549 10:41:12:05 10:41:14:17 00:00:02:12 48
Of course there are problems
every now and then.
550 10:41:15:00 10:41:18:18 00:00:03:18 50
That’s normal in any marriage.
It’s not all bliss.
551 10:41:19:09 10:41:22:15 00:00:03:06 60
It’s not like in a children’s book;
all’s well and whatever.
552 10:41:22:23 10:41:24:24 00:00:02:01 37
Maybe it’s like that
for the Germans.
553 10:41:25:07 10:41:27:01 00:00:01:19 29
Whenever I’m here, you fight.
554 10:41:27:09 10:41:30:00 00:00:02:16 38
Yes, because he doesn’t want you here.
555 10:41:30:08 10:41:33:09 00:00:03:01 52
Because he doesn’t like you.
- So now it’s my fault.
556 10:41:33:17 10:41:36:14 00:00:02:22 42
Why isn’t he like this
around his parents?
557 10:41:36:22 10:41:39:20 00:00:02:23 20
Or when we’re alone?
558 10:41:41:17 10:41:43:03 00:00:01:11 8
Tell me.
559 10:41:43:19 10:41:46:01 00:00:02:07 45
You aren’t like that
when you’re alone? - No.
560 10:41:47:07 10:41:50:03 00:00:02:21 49
Look, we spent
the entire day together yesterday.
561 10:41:50:11 10:41:53:24 00:00:03:13 56
He just went out a couple of hours
for a game of soccer.
562 10:41:54:07 10:41:56:24 00:00:02:17 35
He made noodles and I baked a cake.
563 10:41:57:10 10:41:58:17 00:00:01:07 7
Anyway.
564 10:41:59:06 10:42:04:04 00:00:04:23 56
If Timur finds out through this film
how our family was.
565 10:42:05:14 10:42:07:21 00:00:02:07 41
Timur knows most of it.
But others don’t.
566 10:42:08:08 10:42:11:05 00:00:02:22 43
And then he has to listen
to all this crap:
567 10:42:12:08 10:42:17:10 00:00:05:02 56
“Your wife’s family was like that?“
Or whatever, y’know?
568 10:42:18:09 10:42:22:00 00:00:03:16 57
Then Timur will not be able
to set foot outside the door.
569 10:42:22:15 10:42:25:04 00:00:02:14 25
Because he is so ashamed.
570 10:42:25:16 10:42:27:06 00:00:01:15 22
I just think it’s sad.
571 10:42:27:14 10:42:30:14 00:00:03:00 57
My kids don’t need to know
everything about my childhood.
572 10:42:31:05 10:42:33:02 00:00:01:22 39
Why not?
- I just don’t like that idea.
573 10:42:33:10 10:42:36:24 00:00:03:14 56
Why do they need to know?
And rack their brains over it?
574 10:42:37:07 10:42:41:07 00:00:04:00 37
They’re happy and have their hobbies.
575 10:42:41:18 10:42:44:08 00:00:02:15 18
They go to school.
576 10:42:44:23 10:42:46:12 00:00:01:14 28
So you want to protect them?
577 10:42:46:20 10:42:49:23 00:00:03:03 61
Yes, of course I want to protect them.
Like any mother would.
578 10:42:56:16 10:42:58:09 00:00:01:18 30
Are you going someplace, Abla?
579 10:42:58:17 10:43:01:04 00:00:02:12 29
No, Biene, I’m just replacing
580 10:43:01:13 10:43:04:17 00:00:03:04 41
these spring clothes
with winter clothes.
581 10:43:05:07 10:43:06:12 00:00:01:05 9
What for?
582 10:43:07:20 10:43:10:01 00:00:02:06 25
What do you think, Biene?
583 10:43:12:14 10:43:13:14 00:00:01:00 15
Well, what for?
584 10:43:14:00 10:43:17:24 00:00:03:24 34
It’s just that emergency suitcase.
585 10:43:22:13 10:43:24:09 00:00:01:21 23
What kind of emergency?
586 10:43:28:09 10:43:31:19 00:00:03:10 52
In case I can’t take it anymore
and need to get out.
587 10:43:41:02 10:43:44:16 00:00:03:14 56
You wanted music after all. So dance!
- I don’t want to.
588 10:43:44:24 10:43:46:15 00:00:01:16 22
Then what do you want?
589 10:43:46:23 10:43:48:14 00:00:01:16 11
Just dance!
590 10:43:50:07 10:43:52:12 00:00:02:05 16
Let’s not fight.
591 10:43:54:14 10:43:58:22 00:00:04:08 39
Don’t be so coy.
- No, I’m not dancing!
592 10:43:59:05 10:44:02:06 00:00:03:01 28
You’re asking for a fat lip.
593 10:44:07:13 10:44:09:23 00:00:02:10 32
Stop playing with those buttons.
594 10:44:15:09 10:44:17:07 00:00:01:23 19
Go on, dance, girl!
595 10:44:18:18 10:44:20:16 00:00:01:23 8
Go girl!
596 10:44:26:01 10:44:27:10 00:00:01:09 9
Go Nazik!
597 10:44:37:14 10:44:38:20 00:00:01:06 11
Great Song!
598 10:44:44:24 10:44:47:06 00:00:02:07 33
Why are you hitting me like that?
599 10:44:49:12 10:44:52:01 00:00:02:14 43
Mother, he’s not hitting you,
he loves you.
600 10:44:52:09 10:44:53:16 00:00:01:07 8
But how?
601 10:44:53:24 10:44:56:21 00:00:02:22 34
Like that!
He loves you beatingly.
602 10:44:57:04 10:44:59:18 00:00:02:14 35
Mother, the bruises are love marks.
603 10:45:23:03 10:45:24:03 00:00:01:00 7
Mother?
604 10:45:27:10 10:45:32:02 00:00:04:17 67
Do you sometimes think back
on how you threw that knife after Abla?
605 10:45:34:10 10:45:37:16 00:00:03:06 53
I try not to.
It didn’t happen on purpose, after all.
606 10:45:43:05 10:45:46:10 00:00:03:05 51
Did you apologize to Abla
at the hospital? - I did.
607 10:45:48:04 10:45:49:14 00:00:01:10 20
Did she forgive you?
608 10:45:51:03 10:45:55:24 00:00:04:21 56
Of course. Besides, she wasn’t
completely without guilt.
609 10:45:57:24 10:45:59:24 00:00:02:00 27
In what way was she guilty?
610 10:46:02:10 10:46:04:18 00:00:02:08 44
Do I really have to talk about it
right now?
611 10:46:05:08 10:46:07:13 00:00:02:05 39
We never really talked about it before.
612 10:46:07:21 10:46:09:10 00:00:01:14 15
Did, too.
- No.
613 10:46:16:01 10:46:17:18 00:00:01:17 24
I was chopping tomatoes.
614 10:46:18:01 10:46:21:07 00:00:03:06 62
Then I got into a bad mood,
because I was preparing your food.
615 10:46:22:11 10:46:25:04 00:00:02:18 35
You all wanted your eggs different.
616 10:46:26:20 10:46:28:24 00:00:02:04 42
As if I didn’t have
anything better to do.
617 10:46:29:07 10:46:31:06 00:00:01:24 24
I had a headache anyway.
618 10:46:32:01 10:46:35:21 00:00:03:20 61
And that’s when it happened.
I didn’t understand myself, how.
619 10:46:36:08 10:46:38:08 00:00:02:00 32
Were you very frightened?
- Yes.
620 10:46:39:07 10:46:40:21 00:00:01:14 17
I was devastated.
621 10:46:41:04 10:46:44:12 00:00:03:08 42
Describe, in your own words,
how you felt?
622 10:46:44:20 10:46:49:10 00:00:04:15 41
What feelings?
I didn’t have any anymore.
623 10:46:51:17 10:46:55:15 00:00:03:23 43
I prayed to God
he would leave me my child.
624 10:46:55:23 10:46:59:12 00:00:03:14 63
And I was worried that my children
might be taken away from me.
625 10:47:00:04 10:47:01:04 00:00:01:00 11
And then...
626 10:47:01:23 10:47:03:18 00:00:01:20 19
I told your Abla...
627 10:47:06:22 10:47:08:24 00:00:02:02 31
she should say Ali had done it.
628 10:47:09:07 10:47:11:06 00:00:01:24 37
Because otherwise I would go to jail.
629 10:47:58:07 10:48:02:10 00:00:04:03 36
Nana, did you see Ali?
- Yes, I did.
630 10:48:11:08 10:48:13:15 00:00:02:07 19
Happy Mother’s Day.
631 10:48:14:00 10:48:15:20 00:00:01:20 35
Of all days you have to work today.
632 10:48:17:16 10:48:19:03 00:00:01:12 17
That’s my mother.
633 10:48:55:09 10:48:57:08 00:00:01:24 31
I’ve been hanging about all day
634 10:48:57:24 10:49:01:16 00:00:03:17 66
and still haven’t brought myself
to wish her a happy mother’s day.
635 10:49:22:18 10:49:24:18 00:00:02:00 12
Did you see?
636 10:49:25:14 10:49:26:20 00:00:01:06 16
What did you do?
637 10:49:27:12 10:49:28:15 00:00:01:03 18
Gave you a flower.
638 10:49:34:01 10:49:35:18 00:00:01:17 27
Why did you actually do it?
639 10:49:36:09 10:49:39:03 00:00:02:19 44
Don’t know.
- Do you remember the situation?
640 10:49:39:22 10:49:40:22 00:00:01:00 3
No.
641 10:49:41:10 10:49:43:21 00:00:02:11 46
You won it and didn’t know
what to do with it.
642 10:49:49:17 10:49:51:15 00:00:01:23 29
Should we go play basketball?
643 10:49:54:22 10:49:56:22 00:00:02:00 21
Are you bored?
- Yes.
644 10:49:59:15 10:50:03:13 00:00:03:23 65
Normally we beat each other up.
- But not in front of the camera.
645 10:50:17:20 10:50:19:08 00:00:01:13 9
Too slow.
646 10:50:20:22 10:50:24:14 00:00:03:17 49
Trust me, the things that will start
cropping up.
647 10:50:25:06 10:50:27:15 00:00:02:09 32
Drugs.
- Once they investigated.
648 10:50:32:17 10:50:36:01 00:00:03:09 49
I bet they were stoned, man.
- They were on acid.
649 10:50:36:23 10:50:39:05 00:00:02:07 47
You don’t just trample
so many people to death.
650 10:50:39:13 10:50:41:23 00:00:02:10 24
Yeah, they were on acid.
651 10:50:49:07 10:50:52:12 00:00:03:05 28
Yep, that’s how we’ll do it.
652 10:50:54:07 10:50:55:22 00:00:01:15 17
See you tomorrow.
653 10:51:48:20 10:51:51:12 00:00:02:17 23
Caner!
Form a new team.
654 10:51:54:13 10:51:57:06 00:00:02:18 30
I think
he has beautiful eyes.
655 10:52:14:07 10:52:17:04 00:00:02:22 25
Are you all there? Great.
656 10:52:33:20 10:52:36:16 00:00:02:21 28
Did you eat something? Good.
657 10:53:08:10 10:53:10:10 00:00:02:00 36
Weapons are cool.
- No, they aren’t.
658 10:53:10:23 10:53:12:01 00:00:01:03 16
Are, too.
- Not.
659 10:53:12:09 10:53:13:19 00:00:01:10 17
Weapons are cool.
660 10:53:14:02 10:53:15:12 00:00:01:10 29
What do you need weapons for?
661 10:53:15:20 10:53:19:08 00:00:03:13 51
You’ve got two fists.
Those should be your weapons.
662 10:53:19:19 10:53:21:16 00:00:01:22 21
Your fist, look here.
663 10:53:22:15 10:53:25:13 00:00:02:23 33
That’s the only weapon a man has.
664 10:53:35:13 10:53:36:19 00:00:01:06 8
Let him.
665 10:53:37:20 10:53:41:04 00:00:03:09 52
We tried to fix this.
And then we broke it entirely.
666 10:53:42:00 10:53:45:07 00:00:03:07 60
This place lacks a proper kitchen.
- Why did you break this?
667 10:53:45:24 10:53:48:08 00:00:02:09 36
Ali, do you feel like a new kitchen?
668 10:53:48:16 10:53:50:11 00:00:01:20 10
Like what?
669 10:53:51:04 10:53:53:09 00:00:02:05 30
There’s a kitchen shop nearby.
670 10:53:53:17 10:53:56:12 00:00:02:20 35
It’s also not very expensive there.
671 10:53:57:11 10:53:59:15 00:00:02:04 28
Now you broke it completely.
672 10:54:01:13 10:54:03:24 00:00:02:11 31
Let’s get you a pretty kitchen.
673 10:54:05:07 10:54:07:21 00:00:02:14 44
You feel a lot better
with a proper kitchen.
674 10:54:08:05 10:54:11:13 00:00:03:08 45
Don’t need one.
- Then rot in your moldy den!
675 10:54:11:23 10:54:14:20 00:00:02:22 19
You gonna get sick.
676 10:54:15:07 10:54:18:06 00:00:02:24 44
It can’t be fixed anymore.
Can’t be, get it?
677 10:54:18:15 10:54:20:07 00:00:01:17 13
This is junk!
678 10:54:20:15 10:54:22:13 00:00:01:23 15
What?
- Broken!
679 10:54:22:21 10:54:24:06 00:00:01:10 13
Yes, but how?
680 10:54:25:06 10:54:26:14 00:00:01:08 17
How did it break?
681 10:54:27:00 10:54:30:14 00:00:03:14 45
I knocked the thing
over this Italian’s head.
682 10:54:30:22 10:54:35:19 00:00:04:22 46
Finally the gun,
like the Italian, fell apart.
683 10:54:36:02 10:54:37:21 00:00:01:19 16
What’s so funny?
684 10:54:39:24 10:54:41:11 00:00:01:12 15
He’s losing it.
685 10:54:42:14 10:54:45:03 00:00:02:14 48
If I hit you with this
you’ll know how it feels.
686 10:54:45:15 10:54:48:10 00:00:02:20 47
Ali, don’t pay him too much attention.
- Freak.
687 10:54:48:23 10:54:49:24 00:00:01:01 20
Pipe down, will you!
688 10:54:50:11 10:54:53:22 00:00:03:11 52
This is a piggy bank.
- Why are you hiding it there?
689 10:54:54:08 10:54:56:15 00:00:02:07 46
So that I don’t waste it
on gambling machines.
690 10:54:57:20 10:55:00:18 00:00:02:23 27
Devrim, the gun stays here!
691 10:55:12:02 10:55:13:12 00:00:01:10 25
Yes, something like that.
692 10:55:24:01 10:55:27:03 00:00:03:02 44
Did you thank uncle Ali
and give him a kiss?
693 10:55:29:12 10:55:32:02 00:00:02:15 43
What “yech“?
- You’ve got such black teeth.
694 10:55:32:10 10:55:34:07 00:00:01:22 33
You don’t brush your black teeth.
695 10:55:35:13 10:55:38:09 00:00:02:21 29
You have to brush your teeth.
696 10:55:38:22 10:55:41:24 00:00:03:02 60
Even if I brush them,
they’re not going to turn white again.
697 10:55:42:07 10:55:45:02 00:00:02:20 26
He’s had too much ice tea.
698 10:55:50:15 10:55:52:16 00:00:02:01 36
You want to be that one or that one?
699 10:55:54:10 10:55:56:05 00:00:01:20 34
They don’t even walk on their own.
700 10:55:58:21 10:56:01:01 00:00:02:05 27
I told you it’s major crap.
701 10:56:01:09 10:56:04:01 00:00:02:17 34
It’s money.
A money making scheme.
702 10:56:04:12 10:56:07:01 00:00:02:14 20
It’s not major crap!
703 10:56:30:13 10:56:33:17 00:00:03:04 16
Ali, come dance!
704 10:56:58:17 10:57:00:06 00:00:01:14 28
Ali completed a traineeship.
705 10:57:01:06 10:57:02:15 00:00:01:09 21
That still amazes me.
706 10:57:02:23 10:57:05:21 00:00:02:23 36
That he managed
to do a traineeship.
707 10:57:06:17 10:57:10:09 00:00:03:17 53
Because they cared even less
about what he was up to.
708 10:57:11:17 10:57:14:13 00:00:02:21 40
Nobody gave a shit where he was all day.
709 10:57:14:21 10:57:17:21 00:00:03:00 53
That he would come home
at midnight at the age of 14.
710 10:57:18:11 10:57:21:04 00:00:02:18 37
I’m telling you, in retrospective,...
711 10:57:22:05 10:57:26:09 00:00:04:04 67
I would have said at the age of 10
“No, it’s better, if you leave.“
712 10:57:27:00 10:57:28:17 00:00:01:17 24
It’s good that you left.
713 10:57:29:17 10:57:31:24 00:00:02:07 37
But back then I just didn’t think so.
714 10:57:32:11 10:57:37:01 00:00:04:15 48
I guess, I’m still
carrying this pain inside me.
715 10:57:38:21 10:57:40:22 00:00:02:01 33
And I think...Hang on a minute...
716 10:57:41:08 10:57:44:22 00:00:03:14 45
the reason I thought it sucked
that you left,
717 10:57:45:18 10:57:46:16 00:00:00:23 12
was because-
718 10:57:47:16 10:57:51:14 00:00:03:23 46
Do you remember
why you got your last beating?
719 10:57:52:06 10:57:54:04 00:00:01:23 34
No.
- You see, you don’t remember.
720 10:57:54:12 10:57:59:05 00:00:04:18 63
I still remember why you got a
beating the day before you left.
721 10:57:59:13 10:58:02:21 00:00:03:08 51
What was it about?
- ’Coz you broke the front door.
722 10:58:05:16 10:58:10:05 00:00:04:14 42
You kicked in the bottom
half of the door,
723 10:58:10:13 10:58:13:19 00:00:03:06 35
because you needed
to pee urgently.
724 10:58:14:02 10:58:16:20 00:00:02:18 53
And because there was nobody home
and you had no key.
725 10:58:17:03 10:58:18:20 00:00:01:17 30
That’s why you broke the door.
726 10:58:19:03 10:58:19:24 00:00:00:21 3
So?
727 10:58:20:15 10:58:23:11 00:00:02:21 45
It was crappy then
and it’s still crappy now.
728 10:58:23:21 10:58:25:24 00:00:02:03 41
You could have peed
in a bush downstairs.
729 10:58:26:10 10:58:27:23 00:00:01:13 32
Instead of breaking down a door.
730 10:58:28:18 10:58:31:13 00:00:02:20 42
Well, at that moment,
I understood mother.
731 10:58:32:02 10:58:36:00 00:00:03:23 42
’Coz she gets home
after 12 hours of work,
732 10:58:36:08 10:58:39:23 00:00:03:15 52
sees the broken door,
of course, she goes ballistic.
733 10:58:40:06 10:58:43:01 00:00:02:20 51
Any normal person
would have lost it at that point.
734 10:58:44:02 10:58:46:14 00:00:02:12 39
What was worse to you?
- That you left.
735 10:58:47:06 10:58:50:00 00:00:02:19 40
Yes, but what’s worse than being beaten?
736 10:58:54:24 10:58:57:09 00:00:02:10 21
Well, abuse, I’d say.
737 10:58:57:17 10:58:59:19 00:00:02:02 27
Though, that is abuse, too.
738 10:59:00:02 10:59:01:11 00:00:01:09 27
If you look at it that way.
739 10:59:01:20 10:59:05:14 00:00:03:19 31
Beating is also physical abuse.
740 10:59:10:03 10:59:11:14 00:00:01:11 11
I hate him.
741 10:59:13:17 10:59:15:17 00:00:02:00 21
For doing that to me.
742 10:59:16:16 10:59:19:18 00:00:03:02 49
For not getting anything
out of doing that to me.
743 10:59:20:24 10:59:22:24 00:00:02:00 21
That I can’t sue him.
744 10:59:25:12 10:59:27:24 00:00:02:12 37
That no one knows about it in Turkey.
745 10:59:29:03 10:59:31:08 00:00:02:05 36
That none of his brothers understand
746 10:59:31:17 10:59:34:14 00:00:02:22 33
why we are treating him this way.
747 10:59:38:01 10:59:39:08 00:00:01:07 17
And the daughter.
748 10:59:42:05 10:59:46:21 00:00:04:16 59
She has got a different mother,
but she’s still our sister.
749 10:59:51:06 10:59:53:05 00:00:01:24 27
I wish I could go with you.
750 10:59:54:05 10:59:55:21 00:00:01:16 10
To Turkey.
751 10:59:58:20 10:59:59:21 00:00:01:01 11
To do what?
752 11:00:00:05 11:00:02:14 00:00:02:09 23
To warn his new wife...
753 11:00:03:17 11:00:06:14 00:00:02:22 41
not to leave her
daughter alone with him.
754 11:00:13:00 11:00:17:21 00:00:04:21 57
But then I say to myself:
“They won’t believe me anyway.“
755 11:00:22:10 11:00:26:04 00:00:03:19 43
I’ve often asked myself
why me and not you.
756 11:00:30:21 11:00:32:05 00:00:01:09 23
What do you think? Why?
757 11:00:32:13 11:00:36:04 00:00:03:16 50
I don’t know.
Maybe he thought you were too smart.
758 11:00:37:11 11:00:38:21 00:00:01:10 22
But you aren’t stupid.
759 11:00:41:05 11:00:43:10 00:00:02:05 38
No idea, maybe I was stupid after all.
760 11:00:44:22 11:00:48:04 00:00:03:07 37
Maybe you just loved him more than I.
761 11:00:50:23 11:00:52:00 00:00:01:02 5
What?
762 11:00:52:23 11:00:56:17 00:00:03:19 36
Maybe you loved him more than I did.
763 11:00:57:19 11:01:00:01 00:00:02:07 38
And you didn’t want to
disappoint him.
764 11:01:02:12 11:01:06:01 00:00:03:14 31
And he exploited your feelings.
765 11:01:15:16 11:01:18:23 00:00:03:07 42
I still miss him to this day.
- Say again?
766 11:01:20:02 11:01:23:03 00:00:03:01 39
I still miss him to this day.
- Really?
767 11:01:23:17 11:01:25:10 00:00:01:18 17
Well, not him,...
768 11:01:25:18 11:01:27:13 00:00:01:20 20
but having a father.
769 11:01:29:21 11:01:33:02 00:00:03:06 37
Or to have someone I can call father.
770 11:01:56:20 11:01:57:23 00:00:01:03 19
Come, my son, come.
771 11:01:58:17 11:01:59:22 00:00:01:05 7
Mother?
772 11:02:00:14 11:02:02:15 00:00:02:01 42
What do you think
of Samira’s accusations?
773 11:02:02:23 11:02:05:03 00:00:02:05 15
Against father?
774 11:02:06:13 11:02:08:23 00:00:02:10 34
Samira wouldn’t have made that up.
775 11:02:16:09 11:02:19:01 00:00:02:17 53
If I had known back then,
he wouldn’t be alive today.
776 11:02:19:12 11:02:21:12 00:00:02:00 32
If it really happened like that.
777 11:02:22:12 11:02:23:14 00:00:01:02 11
Don’t know.
778 11:02:25:24 11:02:30:16 00:00:04:17 47
Samira told me in tears.
So it’s probably true.
779 11:02:33:12 11:02:35:12 00:00:02:00 29
Did you ever love us, mother?
780 11:02:36:24 11:02:40:13 00:00:03:14 31
Why else would I have
made sure
781 11:02:41:24 11:02:43:23 00:00:01:24 19
you lacked nothing?
782 11:02:44:06 11:02:46:03 00:00:01:22 25
Your food, your clothing.
783 11:02:48:03 11:02:51:01 00:00:02:23 39
Alright, you did. But...
- So, you see!
784 11:02:51:14 11:02:53:02 00:00:01:13 17
Alright, you did.
785 11:02:53:19 11:02:59:16 00:00:05:22 63
At the same time you beat
the crap out of us and humiliated us.
786 11:03:00:11 11:03:04:10 00:00:03:24 50
What was that all about?
- I didn’t humiliate you.
787 11:03:06:00 11:03:09:01 00:00:03:01 38
I just couldn’t cope with your father.
788 11:03:09:19 11:03:11:08 00:00:01:14 15
He drank a lot.
789 11:03:12:04 11:03:13:18 00:00:01:14 13
Cussed a lot.
790 11:03:14:13 11:03:16:13 00:00:02:00 30
Never thought before he spoke.
791 11:03:16:22 11:03:21:02 00:00:04:05 49
And if I gave him a piece
of my mind, we’d fight.
792 11:03:22:00 11:03:23:21 00:00:01:21 28
Then he’d beat me even more.
793 11:03:24:12 11:03:26:11 00:00:01:24 19
Cursed even harder.
794 11:03:28:11 11:03:29:24 00:00:01:13 8
And I...
795 11:03:30:11 11:03:32:06 00:00:01:20 22
let it all out on you.
796 11:03:33:08 11:03:36:01 00:00:02:18 49
I always blamed myself
for treating you unfairly.
797 11:03:36:09 11:03:38:09 00:00:02:00 24
Many nights I lay awake.
798 11:03:42:04 11:03:43:18 00:00:01:14 18
Did you know that?
799 11:03:46:14 11:03:48:10 00:00:01:21 27
Back then in the old house.
800 11:03:49:13 11:03:51:05 00:00:01:17 19
I tore out my hair!
801 11:04:07:18 11:04:11:00 00:00:03:07 51
You don’t go and beat
a pregnant woman with a belt!
802 11:04:12:08 11:04:15:15 00:00:03:07 52
You all hid in the bedroom
and were scared to death.
803 11:04:18:12 11:04:20:05 00:00:01:18 16
Do you remember?
804 11:04:24:06 11:04:26:03 00:00:01:22 26
I was carrying Esra in me.
805 11:04:30:24 11:04:33:03 00:00:02:04 44
That’s enough.
I don’t want to say any more.
806 11:04:46:00 11:04:48:02 00:00:02:02 27
Everything is so dark here.
807 11:04:48:10 11:04:52:01 00:00:03:16 43
It’s always like that.
But later, it’s not.
808 11:04:54:17 11:04:58:06 00:00:03:14 60
But don’t flip anybody off.
Our parents will see this later.
809 11:04:59:17 11:05:02:20 00:00:03:03 19
Biene, turn around.
810 11:06:08:15 11:06:10:07 00:00:01:17 9
May, 2001
811 11:06:11:14 11:06:12:17 00:00:01:03 11
Dear diary,
812 11:06:13:10 11:06:15:08 00:00:01:23 34
today my father is being deported.
813 11:06:16:12 11:06:17:23 00:00:01:11 34
I’ve never felt this close to him.
814 11:06:19:01 11:06:19:24 00:00:00:23 20
Abla didn’t want to,
815 11:06:20:11 11:06:22:23 00:00:02:12 41
so I had to get
his stuff to the airport.
816 11:06:25:01 11:06:26:14 00:00:01:13 23
I’ll have some of that.
817 11:06:27:23 11:06:30:07 00:00:02:09 48
There was a speaker
at the May Day demonstration
818 11:06:31:05 11:06:32:24 00:00:01:19 31
who said something very smart -
819 11:06:33:07 11:06:34:23 00:00:01:16 37
about the right of self-determination
820 11:06:35:03 11:06:37:01 00:00:01:23 26
and the duty to go for it.
821 11:06:38:06 11:06:39:03 00:00:00:22 8
I wonder
822 11:06:39:08 11:06:42:09 00:00:03:01 47
if my father
ever considered matters like that.
823 11:06:43:09 11:06:44:01 00:00:00:17 10
No matter;
824 11:06:44:18 11:06:45:22 00:00:01:04 17
he was my father,
825 11:06:46:15 11:06:48:06 00:00:01:16 30
even if he sobbed like a baby.
826 11:07:58:18 11:08:01:05 00:00:02:12 31
Nana and Aki’s upcoming wedding
827 11:08:01:11 11:08:06:04 00:00:04:18 67
is a convenient occasion
to assemble all the Pilavcis in one place.
828 11:08:06:13 11:08:09:07 00:00:02:19 44
And one by one
we’re all gradually arriving.
829 11:09:07:14 11:09:09:00 00:00:01:11 21
Great reception, man!
830 11:09:09:10 11:09:10:17 00:00:01:07 20
Is she there at all?
831 11:09:15:00 11:09:16:05 00:00:01:05 21
Doesn’t look like it.
832 11:09:18:17 11:09:20:08 00:00:01:16 32
Maybe they’re down by the beach.
833 11:09:20:19 11:09:22:23 00:00:02:04 23
Well, probably. I’d be.
834 11:09:24:21 11:09:28:04 00:00:03:08 37
Well, and then?
- Well, then we wait.
835 11:09:32:00 11:09:36:11 00:00:04:11 63
I’ve been looking forward
to seeing her and now she’s not here.
836 11:09:39:22 11:09:41:16 00:00:01:19 10
Excellent!
837 11:09:43:12 11:09:45:01 00:00:01:14 22
I bet Ali bought that.
838 11:09:47:07 11:09:49:08 00:00:02:01 28
He reads “Bild”, doesn’t he?
839 11:09:53:23 11:09:55:19 00:00:01:21 13
Hello, honey!
840 11:10:05:03 11:10:07:06 00:00:02:03 14
Hello, get up.
841 11:10:16:21 11:10:19:07 00:00:02:11 29
I didn’t say THROW, but GIVE.
842 11:10:20:14 11:10:21:15 00:00:01:01 6
Catch.
843 11:10:22:13 11:10:25:05 00:00:02:17 36
C’mon, mom, we’ll play a game:
Jump!
844 11:10:26:07 11:10:29:07 00:00:03:00 50
She’ll be in touch, when they arrive.
- What’s up?
845 11:10:29:21 11:10:32:01 00:00:02:05 31
She wants to text Ilknur.
- No!
846 11:10:32:18 11:10:35:15 00:00:02:22 38
Forget Ilknur.
- They’re on their way.
847 11:10:35:23 11:10:38:13 00:00:02:15 50
Don’t bother her.
Otherwise there will be trouble.
848 11:10:39:12 11:10:41:03 00:00:01:16 15
You know Timur.
849 11:10:41:11 11:10:43:15 00:00:02:04 24
That queer sack of shit!
850 11:10:43:23 11:10:46:05 00:00:02:07 43
You talked differently
about him yesterday.
851 11:10:47:03 11:10:50:23 00:00:03:20 41
Abla should still be happy
she got Timur.
852 11:10:51:09 11:10:53:24 00:00:02:15 39
At least he takes care of his children.
853 11:10:54:07 11:10:57:06 00:00:02:24 42
That’s his duty.
- No way that’s his duty.
854 11:10:57:17 11:10:59:02 00:00:01:10 8
Why not?
855 11:10:59:10 11:11:03:08 00:00:03:23 56
Because otherwise you
would have had the same duties,...
856 11:11:03:16 11:11:05:17 00:00:02:01 27
Geez, Ali, be quiet please.
857 11:11:06:00 11:11:07:24 00:00:01:24 30
...but you neglected them all.
858 11:11:08:07 11:11:10:07 00:00:02:00 28
Timur at least goes to work.
859 11:11:10:15 11:11:13:01 00:00:02:11 46
Your father never
brought any money in, I did.
860 11:11:13:09 11:11:15:17 00:00:02:08 37
You just never got your act together.
861 11:11:16:17 11:11:18:13 00:00:01:21 37
Don’t compare Timur with your father.
862 11:11:19:03 11:11:23:04 00:00:04:01 44
Buying clothes doesn’t mean
raising a child.
863 11:11:24:16 11:11:25:21 00:00:01:05 17
No hard feelings.
864 11:11:26:04 11:11:28:03 00:00:01:24 38
Being a parent
is something different.
865 11:11:28:11 11:11:33:12 00:00:05:01 72
This is just fabric. It can tear,
it can get dirty, it can get worn down
866 11:11:33:20 11:11:36:11 00:00:02:16 44
and then get thrown out.
But a mother’s love
867 11:11:36:21 11:11:40:07 00:00:03:11 42
you cannot tear up
and throw in the trash.
868 11:11:40:18 11:11:42:14 00:00:01:21 38
But I was refused something like that.
869 11:11:42:22 11:11:45:06 00:00:02:09 23
No one of you loved me.
870 11:11:45:16 11:11:49:10 00:00:03:19 52
In 20 years of soccer practice
you didn’t show once.
871 11:11:49:19 11:11:53:05 00:00:03:11 39
All the other parents had to work, too.
872 11:11:53:15 11:11:58:03 00:00:04:13 55
But at the weekends
they came to watch their sons play.
873 11:11:58:13 11:12:02:00 00:00:03:12 60
But I had to clean up your pig sty.
- So did all the others!
874 11:12:02:10 11:12:05:08 00:00:02:23 47
I just don’t want to talk to you.
- Then don’t.
875 11:12:05:16 11:12:08:16 00:00:03:00 55
As soon as I’m back in Germany
you can forget about me.
876 11:12:08:24 11:12:11:23 00:00:02:24 53
Got it, we don’t need you,
you don’t need us. Period.
877 11:12:12:06 11:12:14:08 00:00:02:02 11
Done, okay?
878 11:12:14:16 11:12:16:07 00:00:01:16 32
Over and out.
- Ali, I need you.
879 11:12:16:15 11:12:20:17 00:00:04:02 48
I think things got better
between us. Don’t you?
880 11:12:22:02 11:12:25:02 00:00:03:00 42
Which part didn’t you get?
Just leave him.
881 11:12:25:10 11:12:28:09 00:00:02:24 31
He didn’t sleep, he’s hammered.
882 11:12:28:20 11:12:32:06 00:00:03:11 59
You’re trying to have a discussion
with a guy who’s wasted.
883 11:12:32:14 11:12:35:05 00:00:02:16 31
And you don’t get it.
- Samira!
884 11:12:35:16 11:12:39:22 00:00:04:06 50
He just said that
he wants nothing to do with her.
885 11:12:40:05 11:12:43:15 00:00:03:10 49
So let it be.
If he wants to be in touch with you
886 11:12:44:01 11:12:45:09 00:00:01:08 19
he can contact you.
887 11:12:45:19 11:12:48:20 00:00:03:01 53
Don’t you get it?
It’s not like he’s speaking Arabic!
888 11:12:49:03 11:12:51:13 00:00:02:10 37
Yes, I-
- Well, then zip it for once!
889 11:12:51:21 11:12:53:15 00:00:01:19 29
This part I got.
May I speak?
890 11:12:53:23 11:12:55:06 00:00:01:08 10
You klutz!
891 11:12:56:06 11:12:58:15 00:00:02:09 33
No matter how you feel about her,
892 11:12:59:00 11:13:03:06 00:00:04:06 68
I still think it’s great that we have
started talking to each other.
893 11:13:04:08 11:13:07:12 00:00:03:04 53
That you and I are now talking more.
That’s good, no?
894 11:13:07:20 11:13:10:22 00:00:03:02 50
Whether I talk to you or not,
it’s the same to me.
895 11:13:11:16 11:13:14:08 00:00:02:17 47
You were gone for 10 years,
that’s what counts.
896 11:13:14:18 11:13:19:17 00:00:04:24 70
You were not in touch for 10 years.
You didn’t know anything about me.
897 11:13:20:05 11:13:22:24 00:00:02:19 56
You’ve had no clue about me, either.
- I didn’t want to.
898 11:13:23:11 11:13:25:20 00:00:02:09 47
If I had wanted to,
I would have been in touch.
899 11:13:26:03 11:13:28:17 00:00:02:14 41
I would have called you
on your birthday.
900 11:13:28:24 11:13:34:11 00:00:05:12 59
You called me on my birthdays,
in case you remember. - Yes.
901 11:13:35:08 11:13:38:14 00:00:03:06 72
Nothing will change if we discuss it.
Things will stay the way they are.
902 11:13:39:01 11:13:40:14 00:00:01:13 26
Listen, Nazik...
- Samira.
903 11:13:40:24 11:13:42:09 00:00:01:10 11
Not for me.
904 11:13:43:00 11:13:45:12 00:00:02:12 46
Kiss my ass, man!
I didn’t do anything to him.
905 11:13:45:24 11:13:49:18 00:00:03:19 62
If he feels he needs to hate
his sister then go ahead. Dammit!
906 11:13:50:01 11:13:52:11 00:00:02:10 20
I don’t give a shit!
907 11:13:53:06 11:13:54:12 00:00:01:06 20
From what I can see,
908 11:13:54:22 11:13:57:14 00:00:02:17 42
it’s obvious
that Ali doesn’t hate anyone.
909 11:13:58:04 11:14:00:22 00:00:02:18 35
Ali is just really sad. That’s all.
910 11:14:01:05 11:14:03:02 00:00:01:22 12
I’m not sad.
911 11:14:03:19 11:14:06:11 00:00:02:17 32
My life ended.
Do you know when?
912 11:14:06:19 11:14:09:01 00:00:02:07 30
At the age of 15?
- No, at 18.
913 11:14:09:09 11:14:11:18 00:00:02:09 31
When I broke that woman’s nose.
914 11:14:12:05 11:14:16:12 00:00:04:07 70
He acts like he suffered in his life!
Which one of us really suffered?
915 11:14:16:20 11:14:20:14 00:00:03:19 68
I experienced terrible things!
Catching my own mother fucking a guy,
916 11:14:20:24 11:14:23:12 00:00:02:13 37
that’s something terrible, for a boy!
917 11:14:23:20 11:14:25:14 00:00:01:19 22
Your father fucked me!
918 11:14:25:22 11:14:29:17 00:00:03:20 44
Stop bullshitting, man!
- Are you satisfied?
919 11:14:31:09 11:14:33:21 00:00:02:12 38
Yes, I want us
to talk to one another.
920 11:14:34:07 11:14:38:23 00:00:04:16 57
Maybe it isn’t how I hoped
it would go, but it’s a start.
921 11:14:39:10 11:14:42:01 00:00:02:16 44
I want us all to sit down
together and talk.
922 11:14:42:09 11:14:45:21 00:00:03:12 39
Is this talking for you?
With a camera?
923 11:14:46:04 11:14:47:19 00:00:01:15 26
What should we talk about?
924 11:14:48:02 11:14:50:15 00:00:02:13 46
You wanna talk about
how this place is a dump?
925 11:14:50:22 11:14:53:20 00:00:02:23 33
How there’s mold in the bathroom?
926 11:14:54:03 11:14:57:06 00:00:03:03 43
How much the food is?
Or a text and cheese?
927 11:14:57:15 11:15:00:22 00:00:03:07 47
Should we talk the entire day
about banalities?
928 11:15:01:11 11:15:04:00 00:00:02:14 28
Is that worth talking about?
929 11:15:04:08 11:15:08:18 00:00:04:10 45
There are way more issues
we need to address.
930 11:15:09:04 11:15:11:08 00:00:02:04 25
My life only concerns me.
931 11:15:11:16 11:15:15:13 00:00:03:22 70
Just like you have to manage yours,
I have to manage mine. Understood?
932 11:15:16:23 11:15:22:06 00:00:05:08 51
If I get sick,
no one is going to knock at my door.
933 11:15:22:23 11:15:24:16 00:00:01:18 19
and bring me bread.
934 11:15:24:24 11:15:25:23 00:00:00:24 20
With fucking around.
935 11:15:26:08 11:15:28:04 00:00:01:21 42
Since I came to Germany
I’ve been working.
936 11:15:28:20 11:15:30:21 00:00:02:01 37
I started slaving away when I was 10.
937 11:15:31:07 11:15:34:22 00:00:03:15 35
Why aren’t we good children to you?
938 11:15:35:05 11:15:37:13 00:00:02:08 40
Were you a good mother to us?
- You bet!
939 11:15:37:23 11:15:41:05 00:00:03:07 41
You’ve only ever been
a mother to Ilknur!
940 11:15:41:22 11:15:45:09 00:00:03:12 34
As soon as Ilknur wants “börek“...
941 11:15:47:12 11:15:48:15 00:00:01:03 21
...you start jumping!
942 11:15:48:23 11:15:51:11 00:00:02:13 43
Every day beatings,
every day verbal abuse.
943 11:15:51:19 11:15:54:14 00:00:02:20 43
Then you wouldn’t
have turned out this way.
944 11:15:54:22 11:15:56:15 00:00:01:18 36
I was beaten every day!
- Every day?
945 11:15:56:23 11:15:58:00 00:00:01:02 8
You bet.
946 11:15:58:14 11:16:01:11 00:00:02:22 26
Name one day I was spared.
947 11:16:02:09 11:16:05:13 00:00:03:04 51
Either you or father.
One was worse than the other.
948 11:16:05:21 11:16:08:02 00:00:02:06 28
Every day.
Till I turned 15.
949 11:16:08:17 11:16:12:07 00:00:03:15 52
Then I started beating back.
- Quite an achievement.
950 11:16:12:19 11:16:15:05 00:00:02:11 39
Not a single kick,
not a single blow...
951 11:16:16:16 11:16:19:22 00:00:03:06 40
I don’t regret any.
Every kick hit home.
952 11:16:20:19 11:16:23:17 00:00:02:23 54
Eventually you will get
what you have coming your way.
953 11:16:24:00 11:16:27:08 00:00:03:08 22
You reap what you sow.
954 11:16:28:18 11:16:31:06 00:00:02:13 27
What are you talking about?
955 11:16:33:17 11:16:37:02 00:00:03:10 53
Where did you meet this guy?
- None of your business.
956 11:16:37:10 11:16:40:05 00:00:02:20 45
You didn’t even know him!
- Go for the punch.
957 11:16:41:02 11:16:43:03 00:00:02:01 34
Camera off!
- Can I say something?
958 11:16:43:11 11:16:45:04 00:00:01:18 32
Switch it off.
Or I’ll smash it.
959 11:16:47:13 11:16:52:12 00:00:04:24 53
Ali, if she has feelings for a man,
that’s wonderful.
960 11:16:53:03 11:16:57:11 00:00:04:08 56
Let me talk, now.
If you have feelings for a young girl,
961 11:16:57:22 11:16:59:21 00:00:01:24 27
then that’s beautiful, too.
962 11:17:00:07 11:17:03:17 00:00:03:10 44
I’m talking, now.
Please don’t interrupt me.
963 11:17:04:07 11:17:08:12 00:00:04:05 47
Film this, now.
This is something you can film.
964 11:17:08:20 11:17:13:09 00:00:04:14 51
Ali, if you are able
to have feelings for a person.
965 11:17:13:17 11:17:14:23 00:00:01:06 15
That’s awesome.
966 11:17:15:06 11:17:17:21 00:00:02:15 43
Mother, do you know
why this girl ran away?
967 11:17:18:04 11:17:20:22 00:00:02:18 43
Not because you hit her.
But because I did.
968 11:17:21:13 11:17:23:15 00:00:02:02 25
But she doesn’t admit it.
969 11:17:24:16 11:17:27:18 00:00:03:02 30
Because she wants to spare me.
970 11:17:27:23 11:17:29:12 00:00:01:14 24
But she doesn’t have to.
971 11:17:29:17 11:17:32:05 00:00:02:13 28
Her little brother can cope.
972 11:17:32:13 11:17:35:13 00:00:03:00 34
Not because of you,
because of me.
973 11:17:35:21 11:17:37:22 00:00:02:01 40
Because her little brother
hit her once.
974 11:17:38:05 11:17:40:03 00:00:01:23 26
But why did I beat her up?
975 11:17:40:08 11:17:42:23 00:00:02:15 46
Biene, you were gone
3 days after the beating.
976 11:17:43:06 11:17:44:10 00:00:01:04 16
Yes, but that...
977 11:17:44:18 11:17:47:04 00:00:02:11 39
I’m sorry.
You can think what you want.
978 11:17:47:17 11:17:51:08 00:00:03:16 49
I screwed up, okay.
But they screwed up the most.
979 11:17:51:18 11:17:54:04 00:00:02:11 21
I put that behind me.
980 11:17:55:22 11:17:59:24 00:00:04:02 48
Biene, just because of your
fucking film project
981 11:18:00:11 11:18:02:04 00:00:01:18 34
I’m back
in touch with that woman.
982 11:18:02:12 11:18:04:14 00:00:02:02 30
But this could be a new start.
983 11:18:05:04 11:18:08:14 00:00:03:10 58
When I was in jail I had a mother.
Apart from that, never!
984 11:18:08:22 11:18:11:06 00:00:02:09 22
I’m through with this.
985 11:18:18:04 11:18:20:18 00:00:02:14 36
Very good,
you’re doing a great job.
986 11:18:21:09 11:18:25:16 00:00:04:07 56
We go at each other and
you are laughing up your sleeve.
987 11:18:27:11 11:18:28:13 00:00:01:02 7
Get it?
988 11:18:29:04 11:18:31:20 00:00:02:16 26
Keep it up, why don’t you.
989 11:18:33:17 11:18:37:03 00:00:03:11 39
Didn’t you find a better story to tell?
990 11:19:23:07 11:19:25:15 00:00:02:08 35
After my family
has decided against
991 11:19:25:20 11:19:29:12 00:00:03:17 62
accompanying me to Turkey,
after all, I press on without them.
992 11:19:30:06 11:19:33:02 00:00:02:21 50
On the drive I am
torn up about this film project.
993 11:19:33:09 11:19:35:05 00:00:01:21 39
And I struggle with
childhood memories.
994 11:19:35:22 11:19:37:22 00:00:02:00 41
I wish I could just roll
down the windows
995 11:19:38:02 11:19:39:14 00:00:01:12 22
and turn up the music.
996 11:19:39:23 11:19:42:21 00:00:02:23 55
But I can’t do that
without ruining the original sound.
997 11:19:44:09 11:19:48:03 00:00:03:19 59
I seek solace in the camera
and imagine it’s talking to me,
998 11:19:48:08 11:19:50:02 00:00:01:19 41
telling me not to let
things get me down.
999 11:19:50:13 11:19:52:18 00:00:02:05 43
And at the same time
I don’t see the point.
1000 11:19:53:09 11:19:55:05 00:00:01:21 39
Why shouldn’t I let
things get me down?
1001 11:19:55:10 11:19:56:10 00:00:01:00 22
What is so great about
1002 11:19:56:14 11:19:59:01 00:00:02:12 65
marching through life
as the independent and self-sufficient one?
1003 11:20:00:19 11:20:02:23 00:00:02:04 22
I feel tired and sick.
1004 11:20:04:05 11:20:07:07 00:00:03:02 48
I realize I can’t do
anything to affect reality.
1005 11:20:08:03 11:20:09:09 00:00:01:06 19
Not with this film.
1006 11:20:10:19 11:20:13:09 00:00:02:15 45
How could I embark
on the adventure "family"?
1007 11:20:13:23 11:20:17:07 00:00:03:09 58
Is my mother right
and I’m only profiting from our misery?
1008 11:20:19:11 11:20:21:02 00:00:01:16 35
It doesn’t matter
how hard you work
1009 11:20:21:23 11:20:24:14 00:00:02:16 52
in the end you cannot
break free from your own skin.
1010 11:20:29:08 11:20:30:15 00:00:01:07 18
But what can I do?
1011 11:20:31:22 11:20:33:05 00:00:01:08 25
Fear is closing in on me.
1012 11:20:34:02 11:20:37:16 00:00:03:14 49
All pursuits of a better life
conclude in fiasco.
1013 11:20:38:06 11:20:39:24 00:00:01:18 35
I will never
be able to feel happy,
1014 11:20:40:04 11:20:42:13 00:00:02:09 46
never be able to make
someone else feel happy.
1015 11:20:44:20 11:20:48:18 00:00:03:23 51
Instead I am chasing
after an image I cannot grasp.
1016 11:20:50:12 11:20:51:05 00:00:00:18 6
But...
1017 11:20:51:12 11:20:52:17 00:00:01:05 14
if I manage...
1018 11:20:53:05 11:20:54:06 00:00:01:01 18
just a little bit.
1019 11:20:55:05 11:20:58:02 00:00:02:22 62
Then maybe that distance from myself
will be a little smaller.
1020 11:21:06:23 11:21:09:16 00:00:02:18 18
I think he saw me.
1021 11:21:11:00 11:21:13:07 00:00:02:07 25
Should I get out?
- Yeah.
1022 11:21:13:18 11:21:15:03 00:00:01:10 23
Is that him over there?
1023 11:21:15:12 11:21:17:22 00:00:02:10 34
The one in stripes.
Is he looking?
1024 11:21:53:04 11:21:55:01 00:00:01:22 24
I’ll leave the key here.
1025 11:22:36:19 11:22:38:12 00:00:01:18 22
Just a moment, please.
1026 11:22:39:16 11:22:41:06 00:00:01:15 10
Watch out.
1027 11:22:52:15 11:22:54:12 00:00:01:22 39
How many eggs did you scramble?
- Four.
1028 11:22:54:22 11:22:56:22 00:00:02:00 41
Four will never be enough
for six people.
1029 11:22:57:07 11:22:58:21 00:00:01:14 5
More?
1030 11:22:59:16 11:23:01:01 00:00:01:10 19
Scramble some more.
1031 11:23:03:14 11:23:05:03 00:00:01:14 17
Use the good pan.
1032 11:23:09:14 11:23:12:24 00:00:03:10 34
Do I have to spell it out for you?
1033 11:23:13:15 11:23:16:08 00:00:02:18 31
Alright. I’m doing it.
- Hurry.
1034 11:23:31:12 11:23:34:22 00:00:03:10 26
It should fit comfortably.
1035 11:23:36:14 11:23:38:18 00:00:02:04 37
Don’t compare Timur with your father.
1036 11:23:39:01 11:23:42:01 00:00:03:00 44
Buying clothes
doesn’t mean raising a child.
1037 11:23:42:12 11:23:44:00 00:00:01:13 26
Listen, Nazik...
- Samira.
1038 11:23:46:02 11:23:48:18 00:00:02:16 46
Kiss my ass, man!
I didn’t do anything to him.
1039 11:23:49:05 11:23:52:19 00:00:03:14 54
If he feels he needs to hate
his sister then go ahead.
1040 11:23:53:18 11:23:57:23 00:00:04:05 62
That’s something terrible, for a boy!
- Your father fucked me!
1041 11:23:59:11 11:24:01:07 00:00:01:21 21
What is she claiming?
1042 11:24:04:11 11:24:06:15 00:00:02:04 38
Both you and my father are dead to me.
1043 11:24:08:24 11:24:13:00 00:00:04:01 47
Why did your husband
never come home from work?
1044 11:24:13:24 11:24:15:13 00:00:01:14 17
For many reasons.
1045 11:24:16:00 11:24:19:01 00:00:03:01 47
What kind of a woman are you?
- A divorced one.
1046 11:24:19:07 11:24:23:06 00:00:03:24 58
You guys have no idea
how much I have to fight in my life!
1047 11:24:51:18 11:24:52:20 00:00:01:02 11
Here, look!
1048 11:24:54:11 11:24:56:05 00:00:01:19 11
My letters.
1049 11:24:56:20 11:24:58:07 00:00:01:12 23
I wrote them to Ilknur.
1050 11:24:58:15 11:25:00:20 00:00:02:05 30
But I didn’t have her address.
1051 11:25:03:20 11:25:05:08 00:00:01:13 30
Shall I read them out?
- Read.
1052 11:25:07:06 11:25:09:22 00:00:02:16 48
My daughter, Birnur,
I wish you a happy holiday.
1053 11:25:10:24 11:25:13:22 00:00:02:23 43
On the day of Arife
henna is being applied.
1054 11:25:14:13 11:25:16:13 00:00:02:00 42
Give me your cheek
and be kissed, my Esra.
1055 11:25:19:00 11:25:20:22 00:00:01:22 19
On today’s holiday,
1056 11:25:21:12 11:25:23:20 00:00:02:08 39
I feel miserable;
don’t come too close.
1057 11:25:24:03 11:25:26:09 00:00:02:06 33
My Nazik,
a happy holiday to you.
1058 11:25:27:05 11:25:29:09 00:00:02:04 43
In the summer the fields
are being watered.
1059 11:25:29:20 11:25:31:18 00:00:01:23 37
Each year there are two celebrations.
1060 11:25:32:08 11:25:35:20 00:00:03:12 41
Every time I think of you,
my eyes water.
1061 11:25:36:13 11:25:39:09 00:00:02:21 46
My son Ali,
especially to you a happy holiday.
1062 11:25:40:12 11:25:43:09 00:00:02:22 39
To write of so much suffering pains me.
1063 11:25:43:19 11:25:44:23 00:00:01:04 11
There, see.
1064 11:25:46:06 11:25:48:06 00:00:02:00 23
I’m not making this up.
1065 11:25:52:02 11:25:55:08 00:00:03:06 45
This separation is worse than death.
My Esra-
1066 11:25:56:07 11:25:58:17 00:00:02:10 21
The things I wrote...
1067 11:26:00:23 11:26:04:13 00:00:03:15 24
All this I wrote to you.
1068 11:26:07:22 11:26:11:15 00:00:03:18 45
I did in fact
stick to my duties as a father.
1069 11:26:16:07 11:26:20:05 00:00:03:23 53
The nights are always cold.
I’ve been left all alone.
1070 11:26:48:21 11:26:51:05 00:00:02:09 10
July, 1999
1071 11:26:52:17 11:26:53:21 00:00:01:04 11
Dear diary,
1072 11:26:54:10 11:26:57:03 00:00:02:18 40
I think today the time has finally come.
1073 11:26:57:11 11:26:59:18 00:00:02:07 31
Today mother got rid of father.
1074 11:27:00:16 11:27:03:05 00:00:02:14 28
I was there and did nothing.
1075 11:27:03:10 11:27:06:17 00:00:03:07 50
There is no question
whether father deserves this,
1076 11:27:06:23 11:27:09:06 00:00:02:08 32
and neither
whether mother does.
1077 11:27:09:17 11:27:11:14 00:00:01:22 45
But what I’m really
racking my brains over is
1078 11:27:11:24 11:27:15:01 00:00:03:02 35
how do I get out of this unscathed.
1079 11:27:22:21 11:27:24:08 00:00:01:12 25
How far are you going up?
1080 11:27:25:07 11:27:26:10 00:00:01:03 19
We’re almost there.
1081 11:27:33:21 11:27:36:19 00:00:02:23 45
Do you remember
that last day at the airport?
1082 11:27:38:13 11:27:40:03 00:00:01:15 19
You said something.
1083 11:27:41:05 11:27:42:20 00:00:01:15 25
I could ask you anything.
1084 11:27:43:24 11:27:46:12 00:00:02:13 46
What did I reply?
- I’ve long since forgotten.
1085 11:27:46:20 11:27:50:06 00:00:03:11 39
I replied that there is nothing to ask.
1086 11:27:50:16 11:27:53:18 00:00:03:02 45
But now I have come up
with something. - Ask.
1087 11:27:57:00 11:28:00:01 00:00:03:01 32
What is there to Nazik’s claims?
1088 11:28:00:17 11:28:03:03 00:00:02:11 25
Nazik is lying. All lies!
1089 11:28:03:16 11:28:08:14 00:00:04:23 48
What is so bad about me
hugging you as a father?
1090 11:28:12:02 11:28:15:04 00:00:03:02 34
To have my daughter sit on my lap?
1091 11:28:15:17 11:28:18:13 00:00:02:21 39
How old was she back then?
Five, seven?
1092 11:28:19:19 11:28:21:05 00:00:01:11 29
She didn’t even go to school.
1093 11:28:21:17 11:28:25:10 00:00:03:18 45
But Nazik says it started
on Esra’s birthday.
1094 11:28:26:07 11:28:27:20 00:00:01:13 24
And she was eleven then.
1095 11:28:28:03 11:28:31:12 00:00:03:09 65
Nonsense; on Esra’s birthday.
We still lived somewhere else then.
1096 11:28:32:02 11:28:33:14 00:00:01:12 25
In this old, moldy house.
1097 11:28:33:24 11:28:35:23 00:00:01:24 18
Maubacher Strasse.
1098 11:28:36:16 11:28:39:10 00:00:02:19 50
And why did Nazik
never want to sleep in her room?
1099 11:28:39:18 11:28:41:23 00:00:02:05 21
But always with Abla?
1100 11:28:42:06 11:28:45:13 00:00:03:07 58
Because that’s how you
had arranged it amongst yourselves.
1101 11:28:46:24 11:28:49:07 00:00:02:08 22
Abla had her own room.
1102 11:28:49:15 11:28:53:05 00:00:03:15 26
Nazik and I shared a room.
1103 11:28:53:14 11:28:56:22 00:00:03:08 63
But after I had left Nazik only wanted
to sleep in Abla’s room.
1104 11:28:57:05 11:28:59:05 00:00:02:00 25
In Abla’s room, with her.
1105 11:29:00:12 11:29:02:03 00:00:01:16 16
Yes...no idea...
1106 11:29:03:05 11:29:04:20 00:00:01:15 7
Father!
1107 11:29:05:03 11:29:06:04 00:00:01:01 14
Not now, Esma.
1108 11:29:06:18 11:29:09:14 00:00:02:21 28
Ali slept in the other room.
1109 11:29:09:22 11:29:11:10 00:00:01:13 25
In front of the bathroom.
1110 11:29:12:02 11:29:13:19 00:00:01:17 24
She was afraid at night.
1111 11:29:14:22 11:29:16:22 00:00:02:00 25
Of having to sleep alone.
1112 11:29:18:09 11:29:22:18 00:00:04:09 43
She was still sucking her thumb
at sixteen.
1113 11:29:25:16 11:29:27:01 00:00:01:10 13
Who?
- Nazik.
1114 11:29:27:18 11:29:30:04 00:00:02:11 24
Why? Your Abla did, too.
1115 11:29:30:16 11:29:33:03 00:00:02:12 35
Nobody sucks their thumb that long.
1116 11:29:33:20 11:29:35:21 00:00:02:01 38
Your Abla did.
- Till she was sixteen?
1117 11:29:36:08 11:29:38:05 00:00:01:22 31
We stuck a needle in her thumb,
1118 11:29:38:13 11:29:40:11 00:00:01:23 35
put chili on it to get her to stop.
1119 11:29:42:06 11:29:44:02 00:00:01:21 34
I wish
I could take him seriously.
1120 11:29:44:23 11:29:46:18 00:00:01:20 41
I didn’t get
a single step closer to him.
1121 11:29:47:12 11:29:50:13 00:00:03:01 55
Years later I am
at the same place with a camera again.
1122 11:29:52:00 11:29:53:13 00:00:01:13 31
Again these are farewell shots.
1123 11:29:53:20 11:29:56:10 00:00:02:15 33
You have built a new life here...
1124 11:29:57:02 11:30:00:05 00:00:03:03 61
You’re welcome anytime.
- And you have re-arranged your life.
1125 11:30:01:21 11:30:05:04 00:00:03:08 64
Aren’t you happy about how things
ultimately turned out for you?
1126 11:30:07:16 11:30:11:22 00:00:04:06 59
Now? What do you mean?
- That this is how things turned out
1127 11:30:12:07 11:30:14:23 00:00:02:16 43
that, according to you,
you were slandered,
1128 11:30:15:13 11:30:17:18 00:00:02:05 22
spent years in prison,
1129 11:30:18:14 11:30:21:14 00:00:03:00 44
and you still got a second chance.
- No way!
1130 11:30:22:00 11:30:24:12 00:00:02:12 52
Since you came here...
- ...my life has been ruined!
1131 11:30:25:13 11:30:28:01 00:00:02:13 53
If I were in Germany,
I’d be an early retiree by now.
1132 11:30:29:04 11:30:32:10 00:00:03:06 28
I’m 63 years old.
- Yes, so?
1133 11:30:32:18 11:30:36:03 00:00:03:10 59
I would have been an
early retiree for three years already.
1134 11:30:36:24 11:30:39:01 00:00:02:02 37
Now I need an extra two years for it.
1135 11:30:41:12 11:30:45:04 00:00:03:17 30
Your mother destroyed my life.
1136 11:30:49:24 11:30:52:20 00:00:02:21 50
Because of her
I had to get married a second time.
1137 11:32:11:21 11:32:14:07 00:00:02:11 39
Look at this mess!
That’s not a family!
1138 11:32:17:01 11:32:18:15 00:00:01:14 22
That’s why I ran away.
1139 11:32:18:23 11:32:21:05 00:00:02:07 31
Because I was beaten every day.
1140 11:32:21:17 11:32:25:11 00:00:03:19 56
Father, I have come here,
to tell you about my feelings.
1141 11:32:25:22 11:32:27:11 00:00:01:14 24
I have never felt loved.
1142 11:32:28:08 11:32:31:21 00:00:03:13 56
But I’ve loved you most of all.
Not once did I beat you.
1143 11:32:32:04 11:32:36:01 00:00:03:22 64
All the time you were beating me.
- Not even a slap in the face!
1144 11:32:36:09 11:32:37:13 00:00:01:04 11
Constantly!
1145 11:32:38:06 11:32:40:02 00:00:01:21 22
I’ve also cried a lot.
1146 11:32:40:11 11:32:42:22 00:00:02:11 36
But crying doesn’t get you anywhere.
1147 11:32:44:01 11:32:46:11 00:00:02:10 40
Love will get you ahead,
I’ve been told.
1148 11:32:46:23 11:32:48:17 00:00:01:19 31
We didn’t give you enough love.
1149 11:32:49:10 11:32:52:05 00:00:02:20 36
And you weren’t good children to us.