PRIME MINISTER JOHN KEYS:  I don't think we can go past the fact that we may well be witnessing New Zealand's darkest day.

AMANDA:   It's amazing, you know, how they've heeled. He said, "Amanda, look at me. We're going to get you out of here. Don't worry about your hand. I'll get your fingers. We'll wrap it up in a T-shirt and we're going to get you out of here. We'll worry about that later."

REBECCA THOMPSON:  He was a fantastic musician. That's probably the thing I missed the most.

EMILY: I met Rhys when we did our post grad in journalism together. I think about him all the time, what he'd be doing now. I know he'd be really proud of me.

In Christchurch, the month of February will never be the same again. Today, most of the city centre is made up of vacant gaps. The earthquake has meant 70% of the central business district has been torn down. One government body bears the sole responsibility for the complex rebuild. But the city's emotional and social rebuild involves everyone. And it's even more difficult.

Three years ago, Emily had just started her very first job as a journalist, working for regional television network CTV. It had been a quiet news day. Emily's producer, Sam Gibb, suggested she do a story about a local flower show.

EMILY:  I never thought I'd get over the guilt of the fact that I was out of the building and Rhys wasn't want. But I did, I just had to think that it was a complete random and it was not my fault. There was nothing I could have done to change it. It's just the way it was.

I was saying to my news producer before I left, it was a slow news day and, ah, how boring the day was going to be and that's probably... It's was like somebody had just dumped a whole lot of ceiling and wood. That's when it really hit me and that is the only image I remember of the CTV building, that one image.

I think I sort of dealt with it through just immersing myself in it and I got to the stage where I was - would bring it up in conversation, I wanted to talk about it all the time because my biggest thing was I didn't want anyone to forget about them and what happened. I'd always talk about it, I was fine with covering quake stuff, it's never been issue, it's still not an issue for me because it's my life. I know it sounds awful but it's been my life the past three years. It's such a big part of my life. It's such a big part of everyone's life in Christchurch..

ROD THOMPSON:  I think grief is something that's very personal and very much an individual thing.

REBECCA THOMPSON:  It's something that's been quite important for me is to go through the process. Like, I wanted to be at the coroner's court. I wanted to be at the royal commission. Like Rod says, it's nutting it out for yourself, hearing all that information, making sense of it. And not hiding from it.

Much of the Canterbury Earthquake Royal Commission focused on the CTV building. More than half of the earthquake's victims died in here, including 21-year-old Isaac Thompson.

ROD THOMPSON:  What I miss about him is his smile. I just want to let him know that I was so proud of what he achieved in 21 short years. It's a city for people that are ready to move forward and want something new and bright. Yeah, that's not really me right now.

REBECCA THOMPSON:  I'm not really ready for that either. I'm just week by week at this stage, yeah.

ROD THOMPSON:  We got a wee bag back from the police of his possessions and this must have been in his pocket, I guess. Completely burnt and wrecked. But I guess he was a real technology guy, so I just kind of keep it to remind me of, maybe, what could have been.

Amanda is one of the 8,000 residents who left Christchurch after the earthquake. She was so traumatised, she moved away, up to Auckland.

WOMAN:   It's unbelievable she got out alive.

Her fear has meant she's only returned to Christchurch once since she left. She's never been back to the city centre.

AMANDA:   I've lost my feelings. Christchurch was such a beautiful place and sitting here in the sunshine and looking at the cathedral, blossoms on the trees, look at it now, and it's like a war zone. This is the first time back here. I feel really sad. I feel really sad about the amount of people that died here. It's just hard to believe what was here and what's not.

EMILY:   Three years is a long, long time to deal with aftershocks and damaged homes and damaged roads. You can't even imagine what some people are going through here. It's awful.

REBECCA THOMPSON:   You don't ever get over grief but I think it's really important not to get stuck in a place.

Reporter
PATRICK ABBOUD

Producer
BERNADINE LIM

Camera
MILES BENCE

Editor
DAVID POTTS