100:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,800-I PUT THIS ON HIS COFFIN.

200:00:15,560 --> 00:00:20,160IT WAS HIS PRIDE AND JOY.
300:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,600IT STILL SMELLS LIKE HIM.
400:00:22,600 --> 00:00:27,320[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
500:00:27,320 --> 00:00:28,800IT SUCKS, MAN...
600:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,480WHEN THAT'S ALL YOU GOT LEFTOF YOUR FAMILY.
700:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,320-I LOVE IT.I LIKE IT.
800:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,280YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN GOOD TO ME.
900:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,240I'VE HAD MY UPS AND DOWNS,
1000:03:15,240 --> 00:03:19,000BUT THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHINGI'VE EVER HAD HAS BEEN.
1100:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,080RIDING BIKES, FOUR-WHEELERS,
1200:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,880FISHING AND STUFF [SCOFFS]YOU'RE IN HEAVEN.
1300:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,080AND, YOU KNOW, THIS IS HOME.
1400:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,400I TELL YOU,WHEN I WAS 18 YEARS OLD,
1500:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,280I WAS THAT GUY THAT SAID,
1600:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,400"I'M LEAVINGON THIS FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP
1700:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,440AND I AIN'T NEVERCOMING BACK," YOU KNOW?
1800:03:31,440 --> 00:03:36,200AND I WENT AND I WENT AND DIDWVU FOR TWO YEARS
1900:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,560AND -- PSH, TAKE ME HOME.
2000:03:37,560 --> 00:03:41,760-NICE NEIGHBORHOOD, GOOD PEOPLE,GREAT PLACE TO RAISE KIDS.
2100:03:41,760 --> 00:03:42,720THEY HAD A LITTLE FREEDOM,
2200:03:42,720 --> 00:03:46,280BUT EVERYBODY KIND OF KEPTTHEIR EYE ON EVERYBODY'S KIDS.
2300:03:46,280 --> 00:03:50,080IT WAS A WONDERFUL PLACETO RAISE CHILDREN.
2400:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,480-MY CHILDHOOD WAS GREAT.
2500:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,000I HAD A GOOD CHILDHOOD.
2600:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,000MY DAD WAS A COAL MINER,
2700:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,080MY MOM, SHE'S A RN NURSE,SO I WAS SPOILED.
2800:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,560WE HAD ANYTHING WE WANTED.
2900:04:06,440 --> 00:04:11,560[ MACHINERY CHURNING ]
3000:04:18,480 --> 00:04:24,200-OCEANA'S JUST AN EXTREMELYCOMPLEX CONTRADICTION.
3100:04:24,200 --> 00:04:28,520IT IS THIS INCREDIBLYBEAUTIFUL PLACE
3200:04:28,520 --> 00:04:33,240WITH A HUGE POPULATIONOF AMAZING PEOPLE
3300:04:33,240 --> 00:04:38,520WITH BIG HEARTSAND SO MUCH LOVE TO GO AROUND.
3400:04:41,720 --> 00:04:46,280THERE'S THIS DARKNESSTHAT HAS COME OVER IT
3500:04:46,280 --> 00:04:49,280THAT HAS AFFECTEDALL OF THOSE THINGS.
3600:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,360I MEAN, I THINK IN A WAY
3700:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,280IT'S EVEN AFFECTEDTHE NATURAL BEAUTY
3800:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,720OF THIS PLACE, BECAUSE,
3900:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,480AS A PERSON THAT LIVES HERE,
4000:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,120I ALMOST CAN'T LOOK AT ITTHE SAME.
4100:04:59,120 --> 00:04:59,880UM...BECAUSE OF...
4200:04:59,880 --> 00:05:04,440AND PEOPLE DON'T TRUSTEACH OTHER LIKE THEY USED TO,
4300:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,600BECAUSE THERE'S NOW --
4400:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,840THERE'S MORE CRIMEAND THERE'S MORE...
4500:05:08,840 --> 00:05:12,040YOU'RE GETTING THIS MUCH MORE
4600:05:12,040 --> 00:05:16,800"US AGAINST THEM" MENTALITY,AND IT IS...
4700:05:16,800 --> 00:05:24,080IT'S INCREDIBLE AND AMAZINGAND AWFUL ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
4800:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,760[ BARKS ]
4900:05:25,760 --> 00:05:32,840-IT STARTED HAPPENING I GUESSPROBABLY 10, 15 YEARS AGO.
5000:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,120UM...
5100:05:34,120 --> 00:05:38,600I DON'T KNOW IF IT STARTEDWITH OVER-PRESCRIBING OR...
5200:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,480I MEAN, BECAUSEWHEN I WAS A KID,
5300:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,360THERE WAS ALWAYS THE KIDTHAT SMOKED POT,
5400:05:44,360 --> 00:05:50,160AND SMOKING POT AND DRINKINGWAS ABOUT ALL ANYBODY EVER DID.
5500:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,320AND NOW IT'S THE...
5600:05:51,320 --> 00:05:55,280THEY EXPERIMENTWITH SO MANY PILLS,
5700:05:55,280 --> 00:05:58,400AND MOST OF THEM ARE SYNTHETIC.
5800:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,240AND THEY ARE VERY ADDICTIVE,
5900:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,000AND IT'S TAKEN A GENERATIONOF OUR KIDS.
6000:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,360-I ALWAYS PICTURED HIGH SCHOOL
6100:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,160TO BE LIKETHE STEREOTYPICAL THING,
6200:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,280YOU KNOW -- SWIRLIES,ALL THAT SHIT.
6300:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,000EVEN LIKETHE "DAZED AND CONFUSED,"
6400:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,360"PADDLE THE FRESHMEN!"SHIT LIKE THAT.
6500:06:13,360 --> 00:06:14,160INSTEAD, IT WAS...
6600:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,040LIKE, YOU WOULD WALKDOWN THE HALL
6700:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,880AND KIDS WOULD JUST SLAP YOUA PILL IN YOUR HAND.
6800:06:18,880 --> 00:06:23,840-WHEN THE PRESCRIPTION-DRUG PILLOxyContin HIT THE MARKET,
6900:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,040THE WHOLE GAME CHANGED.
7000:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,640PEOPLE STARTEDRIPPING EACH OTHER OFF,
7100:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,800THEY STARTED BREAKINGINTO PEOPLE'S HOMES
7200:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,200AND STUFF TO FEEDTHEIR ADDICTIONS.
7300:06:33,200 --> 00:06:39,280THAT, TO ME,HAS BEEN THE BIGGEST...
7400:06:39,280 --> 00:06:41,800DOWNFALL OF THE AREA.
7500:06:41,800 --> 00:06:42,800-IT'S AN EPIDEMIC HERE.
7600:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,840I MEAN, ANYBODYYOU COULD TALK TO HERE
7700:06:44,840 --> 00:06:48,600WILL TELL YOU THAT THEY'VEAT LEAST DABBLED IN SOMETHING.
7800:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,240THEY MIGHT NOT HAVEGOTTEN ADDICTED TO IT,
7900:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,760BUT THEY'VE AT LEASTFOOLED AROUND WITH IT.
8000:06:54,760 --> 00:06:55,600-WHY HERE?
8100:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,000-'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO DO.
8200:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,240-BECAUSE THIS ISSUCH A SMALL PLACE.
8300:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,880I MEAN, YOU LOOK AROUND,THERE'S MOUNTAINS EVERYWHERE.
8400:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,560I MEAN, IN BIG CITIESTHEY'VE GOT MOVIE THEATERS
8500:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,720AND, LIKE, MALLSAND STUFF LIKE THAT.
8600:07:08,720 --> 00:07:13,280WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THATTO GO AND JUST DO SOMETHING.
8700:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,800-I HAD A GROUPOF FRIENDS THAT --
8800:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,880THERE WAS ABOUTFIVE OR SIX OF US,
8900:07:18,880 --> 00:07:19,880AND IN HIGH SCHOOL,
9000:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,120WE RAN AROUNDALL THE TIME TOGETHER.
9100:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,000AND I'M JUST TELLING YOU,
9200:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,760THEY WEREN'T THE BESTFOR PICKING UP CHICKS WITH,
9300:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,640'CAUSE THEY WAS ALLABOUT 300 DAMN POUNDS,
9400:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,080BUT [LAUGHS] WE'D GO OUT, MAN,
9500:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,120AND WE'D RIDE UP IN THE WOODSAND SHIT,
9600:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,560AND SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW,WE'D HAVE A 12-PACK OR WHATEVER
9700:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,880AND WE'D BE RIDING AROUND,JUST, YOU KNOW...
9800:07:39,880 --> 00:07:40,600AND THAT WAS FUN.
9900:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,360THAT'S WHAT WE ENJOYED DOINGAND SHIT.
10000:07:42,360 --> 00:07:46,160AND, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLEWAS OUT TO LOOK GOOD,
10100:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,400PICK UP GIRLS OR SOMETHING,
10200:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,400AND WE HAD GOOD, GENUINE FUNBACK THEN.
10300:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,240AND THEN, YOU KNOW,
10400:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,920THERE JUST COMES A POINTWHERE SOME PEOPLE,
10500:07:53,920 --> 00:07:54,840THAT JUST AIN'T ENOUGH.
10600:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,240I GUESS SOME PEOPLEJUST GOT TO PUSH IT
10700:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,240AS FAR AS THEY CAN PUSH IT.
10800:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,040AND THEN THAT'S WHEN --YOU'RE AT A PARTY OR SOMETHING,
10900:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,600AND SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW,HANDS YOU OVER HERE,
11000:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,800THEY'VE GOT PILLS CHOPPED OUT
11100:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,040OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT,YOU KNOW?
11200:08:06,040 --> 00:08:10,000AND THAT'S WHAT WE GOTAROUND HERE, THE DEVIL PILLS.
11300:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,520I MEAN, WE GOT THE OXYS,THE XANAXES,
11400:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,600AND IT JUST COMPLETELYCHANGES PEOPLE.
11500:08:18,800 --> 00:08:22,520-YEAH, MAN, THAT'S ALLTHIS AREA IS THE DRUGS.
11600:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,120YOU GOT YOUR PARTIESON YOUR WEEKENDS,
11700:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,880FUCKING HIGH-SCHOOL DUDES,COLLEGE PEOPLE
11800:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,280COME AROUND AND PARTYAND DRINK AND SHIT.
11900:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,320BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING,
12000:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,440THIS PLACE IS CONSUMEDON FUCKING DOPE AND SHIT.
12100:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,400NOTHING TO DO AROUND HERE.
12200:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,280I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO GOTO FUCKING WATCH A MOVIE,
12300:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,520BOWL, ANY KIND OF SHITLIKE THAT,
12400:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,440YOU'VE GOT TO DRIVE FUCKING 45MINUTES JUST TO FUCKING DO IT.
12500:08:38,440 --> 00:08:39,60045 MINUTES TO AN HOUR,
12600:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,000SO IF YOU'RE JUST SITTINGIN TOWN, BORED,
12700:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,920"WELL, WHAT THE FUCKYOU WANT TO DO?
12800:08:42,920 --> 00:08:43,840HOW 'BOUT GO GET HIGH?"
12900:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,440GO SMOKE A JOINT,WE'LL DRINK A FEW BEERS.
13000:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,360I MEAN, YOU AIN'T GOTSHIT ELSE TO DO. [ CHUCKLES ]
13100:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,080THIS SHIT IS JUST BORINGAROUND HERE.
13200:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,160YOU GOT TO MAKE YOUR OWN PARTY.[ CHUCKLES ]
13300:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,640[ ENGINE REVS ]
13400:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,040-I GOT TWO WEEKSBEFORE I DELIVER.
13500:09:01,040 --> 00:09:05,000HAVING A LITTLE BOY.A LITTLE MINIATURE HIM.
13600:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,200[ LAUGHS ]
13700:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,640-LITTLE JUGGALO.
13800:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,200-YEAH.
13900:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,520THAT'S WHAT HE'S GONNA COME OUTLISTENING TO, PROBABLY.
14000:09:11,520 --> 00:09:12,840-[ CHUCKLES ]
14100:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,880[ BABY WHINES ]
14200:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,600-THAT ONE HAIR JUST GOT IT.
14300:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,400-SAY HI.
14400:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,680JAYDEN, SAY HI.
14500:09:24,680 --> 00:09:28,400YOU'RE ON DRUGS SEVERELY HARD,
14600:09:28,400 --> 00:09:32,520OR YOU WORK IN THE MINESALL DAY LONG.
14700:09:32,520 --> 00:09:36,720OR YOU HAVE A POT TO PISS IN
14800:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,800AND THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT.
14900:09:37,800 --> 00:09:42,440THAT'S THE THREE THINGSTHAT YOU HAVE IN THIS AREA.
15000:09:42,440 --> 00:09:47,800THERE'S NOTHING.NOT A THING.
15100:09:49,320 --> 00:09:53,360-YEAH, THAT'S...
15200:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,520-TO HILLBILLIES.
15300:09:58,520 --> 00:09:59,520[ BOTH LAUGH ]
15400:09:59,520 --> 00:10:03,080JUST ABOUT EVERYBODYAROUND HERE IS ON DOPE.
15500:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,600YOU KNOW, GROWING UP,THAT WAS NORMAL.
15600:10:05,600 --> 00:10:10,440YOU KNOW, PEOPLE DRINKING,PEOPLE SMOKING POT AND SHIT.
15700:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,680BUT THEN, I DON'T KNOW,
15800:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,560HERE IN THE PAST 12, 15 YEARS,
15900:10:17,560 --> 00:10:20,160THE PHARMACEUTICAL DRUGSIS RUINING PEOPLE.
16000:10:20,160 --> 00:10:25,120I COULDN'T TELL YOU THE PEOPLETHAT I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH --
16100:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,600I GRADUATED IN 2001 --THAT ARE DEAD.
16200:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,080O.D.'d OR SOME SHIT.
16300:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,200-THIS IS ACTUALLYTHE NUMBER-ONE COUNTY
16400:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,480IN THE STATEOF WEST VIRGINIA WITH...
16500:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,280-WITH PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.
16600:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,920-...PRESCRIPTION-PILL ABUSE.
16700:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,840THEY WON'T AGREE TO BRINGA METHADONE CLINIC
16800:10:43,840 --> 00:10:44,640HERE TO PINEVILLE.
16900:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,920-YEAH, 'CAUSE THERE'SSO MANY OLD CHRISTIANS HERE --
17000:10:46,920 --> 00:10:47,920-THE CLOSEST ONE IS LIKE --
17100:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,200-AND OLD PEOPLE THAT DON'TBELIEVE IN THAT, YOU KNOW?
17200:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,440THEY THINK THAT THAT'S WORSE
17300:10:53,440 --> 00:10:58,440THAN SOMEBODY THAT HAS TO GO OUTAND HUNT FOR PILLS EVERY DAY
17400:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,200JUST TO FEEL NORMAL, YOU KNOW?
17500:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,840NOT TO CATCH A BUZZOR GET MESSED UP ON.
17600:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,560-PEOPLE REALLY NEED IT HEREBECAUSE EVERYBODY IS JUST...
17700:11:06,560 --> 00:11:09,240YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY'SRUINING THEIR LIVES.
17800:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,760YOU KNOW, THEY'RE GETTINGIN SITUATIONS...
17900:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,120EVERYBODY THAT'S OUR AGE,
18000:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,480ALMOST LIKE 75% OF THEMARE HOMELESS,
18100:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,400LIVING WITH PARENTS.
18200:11:18,400 --> 00:11:24,440COUPLE UNDER BRIDGESOVER THERE IN OCEANA.
18300:11:30,800 --> 00:11:35,480-WHEN I FIRST COME HERE,I HAD NOWHERE TO STAY.
18400:11:35,480 --> 00:11:40,640I SLEPT IN THE SAND RIGHT THEREFOR MONTHS...
18500:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,640WITH A BLANKET
18600:11:42,640 --> 00:11:47,120AND A DIRTY OLD PILLOW THAT --
18700:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,200WELL, YOU CAN IMAGINE,
18800:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,440LAYING ON ONE OVERNIGHTIN THE SAND, YOU KNOW.
18900:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,320BUT I'D DUST IT OUT.
19000:11:53,320 --> 00:11:57,760TRY TO PUT MY STUFF UP THERE,WHAT LITTLE BIT I HAD.
19100:11:57,760 --> 00:12:03,760AND THEN I WENT FROM THATTO A TWO-MAN TENT.
19200:12:03,760 --> 00:12:09,040WE SET IT UP THEREAND LIVED IN IT FOR...
19300:12:09,040 --> 00:12:14,480JUST GUESSING, A YEAR, MAYBEA LITTLE LONGER THAN A YEAR.
19400:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,760BUT MY WIFE WOULD USETHE BATHROOM
19500:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,440IN THIS GUTTER RIGHT HERE.
19600:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,760THIS IS WHERE SHE'D GET UPOF A MORNING,
19700:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,040COME OUT OF THE TENT,
19800:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,720COME RIGHT THERE TO PEE,YOU KNOW.
19900:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,320WELL, I WAS A COAL MINER.
20000:12:29,320 --> 00:12:33,160WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,I WAS A COAL MINER.
20100:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,840HAD ANYTHING I WANTED.
20200:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,440COAL MINER'S MAKE GOOD MONEY.
20300:12:37,440 --> 00:12:42,160BUT I LET DRUGS...
20400:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,280PUT ME RIGHT HERE.
20500:12:43,280 --> 00:12:47,360RIGHT HEREIS WHERE DRUGS LED ME.
20600:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,840-EVERYBODY'S GETTING LAID OFFFROM THE MINES,
20700:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,640AND EVERYBODY'S GETTING LAID OFFFROM THE STRIPS
20800:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,400AND EVERYTHING.
20900:13:11,400 --> 00:13:15,200DRUGS IS WHAT'S BLOOMINGAROUND HERE.
21000:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,680YOU KNOW?I'M BEING HONEST WITH YOU.
21100:13:18,680 --> 00:13:19,360Y'ALL...
21200:13:19,360 --> 00:13:24,800I KNOW, I HATE FOR Y'ALL TO BEAROUND THIS ATMOSPHERE,
21300:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,200BECAUSE NOT EVERYBODY'SLIKE THIS.
21400:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,040REALLY.
21500:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,920HONEST TO GOD, IT'S NOT.
21600:13:32,920 --> 00:13:37,560BUT MOST PEOPLE FIND THATTHAT'S A QUICK DOLLAR,
21700:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,280BECAUSE EVERYBODY'SWANTING THEM.
21800:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,400EVERYBODY.
21900:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,520PEOPLE YOU WOULDN'T EVENTHINK OF -- COPS, EVEN.
22000:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,560YOU KNOW?
22100:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,880AND THAT'S THE QUICKEST DOLLAR,
22200:13:49,880 --> 00:13:55,200INSTEAD OF GETTING OUTAND DOING WHAT YOU GOT TO DO,
22300:13:55,200 --> 00:13:58,760FUCKING DIGGING ROOT,WASHING LAUNDRY,
22400:13:58,760 --> 00:14:05,480WATCHING PEOPLE'S KIDSTO MAKE AN HONEST DOLLAR.
22500:14:06,000 --> 00:14:10,040DRUGS IS THE NEXT BEST THING.
22600:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,600-IF YOU DON'T WORK IN THE MINES,
22700:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,200THE ONLY OTHER WAY YOU GOTTO MAKE MONEY
22800:14:18,200 --> 00:14:22,120ANYWHERE CLOSE TO WORKINGIN THE MINES IS TO SELL DRUGS.
22900:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,400IF YOU DON'T SEE SOMEBODYGETTING UP IN THE MORNING
23000:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,840AND GOING TO WORK,THEY'RE SELLING PILLS.
23100:14:27,840 --> 00:14:33,160-PRESCRIPTION-DRUG DIVERSIONIS A HUGE PROBLEM HERE,
23200:14:33,160 --> 00:14:38,520BECAUSE NOT ONLY DOES IT MAKETHE DRUG MORE PLENTIFUL,
23300:14:38,520 --> 00:14:43,800BUT IT ALSO KIND OF CREATESAN ECONOMY UNDERGROUND
23400:14:43,800 --> 00:14:48,400THAT'S FAR SUPERIORTO A LEGITIMATE ECONOMY.
23500:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,320BECAUSE MOST OF THE KIDSTHAT ARE DOING IT,
23600:14:51,320 --> 00:14:55,320I MEAN, THEY'RE LOOKINGAT SERVICE-SECTOR JOBS
23700:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,440THAT DON'T PAY WELL,
23800:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,120AND THEY CAN MAKE A LOTOF MONEY.
23900:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,440-YEAH, I MADE THIS RIGHT HERE.
24000:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,880THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALLFROM PILLS.
24100:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,680IN LIKE 20, 30 MINUTES, MAN.
24200:15:07,680 --> 00:15:13,000YOU JUST GO TO THE DOCTOR,YOU PAY CASH, AND...
24300:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,520YOU PAY CASHAND THEY GIVE YOU THE PILLS.
24400:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,320I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL SHOWYOU SOMETHING RIGHT HERE.
24500:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,320LET ME FIND ITIF I CAN FIND IT.
24600:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,160RIGHT HERE.
24700:15:20,160 --> 00:15:24,640THEY GOT A DOCTORIN WASHINGTON, D.C., NOW
24800:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,360WHERE YOU PAY HIM $1,000A VISIT.
24900:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,880LOOK AT THIS BOTTLE.
25000:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,320HE'S PRESCRIBED
25100:15:30,320 --> 00:15:36,520450 OxyContin 30s A MONTH.
25200:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,840HE'S PRESCRIBED 15 30s A DAY.
25300:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,160TAKE SIX TABLETS EVERY MORNING,
25400:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,640THEN TAKE FIVE TABLETSAT 1:00 P.M.,
25500:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,040THEN TAKE FOUR TABLETS AT NIGHT.
25600:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,08015 TAB--AND THIS AIN'T ALL HE WROTE.
25700:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,160I WISH I HAD THE OTHER BOTTLES.
25800:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,800HE WROTE THESE --450 OXY 30s A MONTH,
25900:15:54,800 --> 00:15:58,680200 METHADONE 10s,AND 120 SPEED PILLS, ADDERALL.
26000:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,240YOU PAY THAT DOCTOR$1,000 A MONTH,
26100:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,320AND THIS IS WHAT HE GIVES YOU.
26200:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,600THINK OF THE MONEY THAT WAS JUSTIN THIS BOTTLE RIGHT HERE.
26300:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,160100 OF THEM'S $4,000.
26400:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,560450 OF THESE OXY 30s.
26500:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,640-FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS,
26600:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,560I'VE AVERAGED SOMEWHERE
26700:16:22,560 --> 00:16:27,560BETWEEN 1,800 AND 2,000TEETH EXTRACTIONS PER YEAR.
26800:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,120WHEN WE FIRST OPENED
26900:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,920AND I WAS A LITTLE BIT NAIVEABOUT THE DRUG PROBLEM,
27000:16:34,920 --> 00:16:35,760AS IT WAS BEGINNING,
27100:16:35,760 --> 00:16:40,000I THINK I PROBABLY DID GET TAKENADVANTAGE OF A LITTLE BIT,
27200:16:40,000 --> 00:16:40,800AS FAR AS, YOU KNOW,
27300:16:40,800 --> 00:16:44,000WRITING PRESCRIPTIONSFOR PAIN MEDICATION.
27400:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,720BUT I LEARNED PRETTY QUICK
27500:16:45,720 --> 00:16:50,160THAT I WAS GONNA BE NOT PARTOF THAT PROBLEM.
27600:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,840-MY DAD IS ALSO ADDICTED,
27700:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,600AND ME AND HIMKIND OF USE TOGETHER.
27800:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,600ME AND HIM WON THE LOTTERY --$12,000.
27900:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,240WE SPENT IT IN NO TIME.
28000:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,360ONE WEEK IT WAS GONE.
28100:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,240WE HAD NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.
28200:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,280WE DONE 10 80s EVERY DAY.
28300:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,040-IT IS --IT'S AN EPIDEMIC AROUND HERE,
28400:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,240AND IT'S KILLINGA LOT OF PEOPLE.
28500:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,000AND IT'S NOT GONNA STOP.IT'S NOT.
28600:17:11,000 --> 00:17:16,080FOR EVERY PERSON THAT YOU BUST,THREE MORE PICK IT UP.
28700:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,240[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]
28800:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,760[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
28900:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,600-WHY HAVE YOU BEEN CRYINGALL DAY?
29000:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,560-BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M BEINGFORCED TO GO TO REHAB.
29100:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,120-WHY?
29200:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,520-'CAUSE I'M PREGNANT.[ CHUCKLES ]
29300:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,520-WHAT'S THE ISSUE?
29400:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,840-[ Voice breaking ] I DON'TWANT THEM TO TAKE MY KID.
29500:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,520-WHY ARE THEY GONNA TAKEYOUR KID?
29600:17:56,520 --> 00:18:00,920-BECAUSE I'M DIRTY.
29700:18:01,120 --> 00:18:05,160I DON'T KNOW, FOR THE FIRST TWOYEARS, I WAS SNORTING THEM,
29800:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,080AND THEN, I DON'T KNOW,
29900:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,400I JUST SEEN HOW GOODEVERYBODY FELT SHOOTING THEM,
30000:18:08,400 --> 00:18:12,200SO I STARTED SHOOTING UP,AND NOW, FOUR YEARS LATER...
30100:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,880I'VE DONE [SIGHS]
30200:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,240I'VE DONE HORRIBLE THINGSFOR DOPE.
30300:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,680LIKE, I'VE [CHUCKLES]
30400:18:19,680 --> 00:18:23,600STUFF I REALLY DON'T WANTTO TALK ABOUT, BUT...
30500:18:23,600 --> 00:18:29,600JUST THINGS THAT WOMEN DO,YOU KNOW, TO GET MONEY.
30600:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,560-I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
30700:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,920THAT'S WALKING ON THE STREETDOWN THERE.
30800:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,520I WAS SCARED TO DEATH AT FIRST.
30900:18:34,520 --> 00:18:35,400I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."
31000:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,400"I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS,"YOU KNOW? I WAS SCARED.
31100:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,680I WAS REALLY SCARED,BECAUSE MY HUSBAND,
31200:18:39,680 --> 00:18:40,680THE REASON WHY HE WENT TO PRISON
31300:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,440WAS BECAUSE HE WAS TRYINGTO SUPPORT MY PILL HABIT,
31400:18:43,440 --> 00:18:44,480AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO NOTHING.
31500:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,240I STAYED AT HOME ALL DAY, AND HEWENT OUT AND ROBBED COAL MINES
31600:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,440OR WHATEVER HE HAD TO DOTO GET US PILLS.
31700:18:49,440 --> 00:18:50,400SO WHEN HE WENT TO PRISON,
31800:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,800I HAD TO STEP UP AND TAKE THATRESPONSIBILITY UP FOR MYSELF
31900:18:52,800 --> 00:18:53,640OR SIT HOME AND BE SICK.
32000:18:53,640 --> 00:18:57,520-YOU GOT 19-, 20-YEAR-OLD GIRLSRUNNING AROUND HERE
32100:18:57,520 --> 00:18:58,520THAT'LL GIVE ORAL SEX,
32200:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,400ANY KIND OF SEX YOU WANTFOR $5 OR $10.
32300:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,640I MEAN, IT'S HORRIBLE.
32400:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,840HEPATITIS C HERE, THEY SAID,
32500:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,520IS LIKE 70% TO 80% OF THIS TOWNFROM I.V. USERS.
32600:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,160AND THAT'S ONE THINGI'VE NEVER DONE --
32700:19:08,160 --> 00:19:12,320I AIN'T NEVER STUCK NO NEEDLESIN MY ARM OR NOTHING LIKE THAT.
32800:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,040I SNORT THEM.
32900:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,600-OH, YEAH?WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU DID?
33000:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,240-JUST A MINUTE AGO,RIGHT WHEN Y'ALL WALKED IN HERE.
33100:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,760I GOT A WHOLE POCKET FULLOF THEM RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW.
33200:19:20,760 --> 00:19:24,200I GOT XANAXES AND OxyContins.
33300:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,040I LIKE MIXING THEM,
33400:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,160AND THAT'S A DEADLYCOMBINATION, TOO.
33500:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,040THEY SAY NOT TO MIX THEM,
33600:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,560BUT THAT'S THE ONLY WAYI LIKE TO DO THEM.
33700:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,840I'LL SHOW Y'ALL SOMETHING.
33800:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,480I'LL SHOW Y'ALLHOW THE MONEY IS.
33900:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,000THESE BLUE ONES RIGHT HERE --
34000:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,320I MEAN, THEY DON'T MAKEREGULAR OxyContin NO MORE,
34100:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,120THEY MAKE ROXICONTIN.
34200:19:44,120 --> 00:19:44,760THESE ARE ROXYS.
34300:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,200THAT'S A 30-MILLIGRAMROXICODONE PILL.
34400:19:47,200 --> 00:19:51,680THAT'S ANYWHERE FROM $40 TO $50AROUND HERE, THEM ARE.
34500:19:51,680 --> 00:19:55,000THIS RIGHT HERE IS AN OXY 10.
34600:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,040IT'S HOT PINK.THAT'S $15.
34700:19:58,040 --> 00:20:02,600THIS RIGHT HERE IS A PINK XANAX.THAT'S A NERVE PILL.
34800:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,720THOSE ARE ANYWHEREFROM $2 TO $3.
34900:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,200I TAKE THEM AND MIX THEM...
35000:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,520AND SNORT THEM.
35100:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,920-HOW'S THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
35200:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,280-GOOD.
35300:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,920-WHEN THE 80s FIRST STARTEDCOMING AROUND,
35400:20:20,920 --> 00:20:21,840THEY WERE $120,
35500:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,600AND THEN, BECAUSE THEY STARTEDBEING RECALLED
35600:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,160OR WHATEVER HAPPENED,THEY WERE LIKE $170, $180.
35700:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,360-YEAH, YOU COULDN'T FIND THEM.
35800:20:29,360 --> 00:20:32,880I SEEN SOMEBODY SELL ONEOxyContin 80 FOR $200 ONE TIME,
35900:20:32,880 --> 00:20:36,600AND THERE WAS LIKE FIVE PEOPLEFIGHTING OVER IT.
36000:20:36,600 --> 00:20:37,640IT GOT REALLY BAD.
36100:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,520-IT WOULD PROBABLY TAKE ME...
36200:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,560I'D SAY PROBABLY $600 TO $800
36300:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,000TO ACTUALLY GET HIGH --
36400:20:46,000 --> 00:20:52,720IF I WAS LUCKY AND I WOULDACTUALLY GET HIGH -- PER DAY.
36500:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,320[ SIREN WAILS ]
36600:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,720-THE CDC TELLS US WEST VIRGINIA
36700:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,040IS THE MOST PRESCRIPTIONPER-POPULATION
36800:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,320ON AN ANNUAL BASISANYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY.
36900:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,400THERE'S ONLY 1.8 MILLION PEOPLEIN THE WHOLE STATE,
37000:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,480AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE MEN,WOMEN, AND CHILDREN
37100:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,480GET ABOUT 18 PRESCRIPTIONSA YEAR.
37200:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,240AND THAT'S PROBABLYAT LEAST 50% HIGHER
37300:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,880THAN THE REST OF THE COUNTRY.
37400:21:25,280 --> 00:21:29,760WE GO THROUGH 150 OR SO PEOPLEA DAY HERE.
37500:21:29,760 --> 00:21:30,720AND WE'LL HAVE AN OVERDOSE
37600:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,120THAT PROBABLY LEADS TO A DEATHEVERY DAY.
37700:21:33,120 --> 00:21:35,120SO, WHEN YOU --AND SOME OF THOSE --
37800:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,320BECAUSE WE'REA REGIONAL COMMAND CENTER,
37900:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,520SOME OF THOSE PEOPLEDON'T EVEN GET TO US.
38000:21:39,520 --> 00:21:43,160E.M.S. GOES TO THEIR HOMES,FINDS THAT THEY'RE DEAD,
38100:21:43,160 --> 00:21:43,920THEY JUST CALL IN,
38200:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,240AND THEN THEY DON'T EVEN END UPIN OUR NUMBERS
38300:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,280HERE IN THE EMERGENCYDEPARTMENT.
38400:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,400UPSTAIRS,WE DELIVER ALL THE BABIES
38500:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,320IN A FIVE- OR SIX-COUNTY AREA,AND AT ANY GIVEN TIME,
38600:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,160BECAUSE OF THE DRUG ABUSEOF THE MOTHERS,
38700:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,520HALF THE BABIES IN THE NURSERYARE ON METHADONE.
38800:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,120MANY PEOPLE HAVE CALLEDTHE GENERATION LOST,
38900:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,680IN TERMS OF LOST WORK FORCE,
39000:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,440LOST EDUCATION,LOST...LOST LIVES.
39100:22:11,360 --> 00:22:16,920-THERE'S A PSYCHOLOGICAL TERMCALLED APPALACHIAN FATALISM,
39200:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,880AND THE PEOPLE OF APPALACHIA
39300:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,200HAVE BEEN REPEATEDLYTAKEN ADVANTAGE OF.
39400:22:22,200 --> 00:22:27,240AT ONE TIME, LOCAL PEOPLEOWNED ALL THE LAND AROUND US
39500:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,160AND ALL OF THE MINERAL RIGHTS,
39600:22:29,160 --> 00:22:34,000WHICH, WE NOW KNOW, WAS WORTHBILLIONS OF DOLLARS.
39700:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,360AND ONCE PEOPLE DETERMINED
39800:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,640THAT IT WAS WORTHBILLIONS OF DOLLARS,
39900:22:37,640 --> 00:22:42,120THEY CAME IN AND ESSENTIALLYSHAFTED ALL OF THE LOCALS
40000:22:42,120 --> 00:22:42,760OUT OF ALL THAT.
40100:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,720THEY'VE BEEN TAKEN ADVANTAGE OFBY OUTSIDERS OVER AND OVER AGAIN
40200:22:45,720 --> 00:22:47,120TO THE POINT THAT, NUMBER ONE,
40300:22:47,120 --> 00:22:50,080THEY TRUST ALMOST NO ONEFROM OUTSIDE,
40400:22:50,080 --> 00:22:54,800AND NUMBER TWO, THEY HAVEA VERY FATALISTIC LOOK --
40500:22:54,800 --> 00:22:55,640VIEW OF THEIR LIFE.
40600:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,040GRANDFATHERS AND FATHERSTHAT WORKED IN THE COAL MINES
40700:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,120AND THEIR BODIESARE BROKEN DOWN,
40800:23:00,120 --> 00:23:03,800AND, YOU KNOW, THE DOCTORS THATTHE COAL COMPANIES BROUGHT IN
40900:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,480WERE TOLD,"YOU KEEP THEM WORKING.
41000:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,040YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DOTO KEEP THEM WORKING."
41100:23:08,040 --> 00:23:12,480AND SO, YOU KNOW, THEY WEREPRESCRIBED MEDICATION,
41200:23:12,480 --> 00:23:13,600AND THEY KEPT WORKING,
41300:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,920BECAUSE THEY WEREHARDWORKING APPALACHIAN MEN.
41400:23:16,920 --> 00:23:21,120AND SO THERE'S THIS CULTUREOF "PILLS ARE GOOD.
41500:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,200PILLS ARE A POSITIVE THING."
41600:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,840AND THEN IT'S JUST, I THINK,
41700:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,600KIND OF PROGRESSEDFROM NARCOTICS --
41800:23:29,600 --> 00:23:35,320TYLOX AND PERCOCET THAT WEREABUSED RECREATIONALLY.
41900:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,480AND WHEN OxyContinCAME ON THE SCENE,
42000:23:37,480 --> 00:23:42,200I THINK PEOPLE THOUGHT THATIT WAS THE SAME KIND OF DRUG,
42100:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,040AND ALL OF A SUDDEN
42200:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,360THEY WERE TAKING A HUGESTEP UP ADDICTION-WISE.
42300:23:46,360 --> 00:23:53,200AND THEY WERE JUST ADDICTEDLIKE THAT.
42400:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,400-MY NAME IS JAMES ROBERT LEWIS.
42500:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,400THEY CALL ME BOBBY.
42600:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,760THIS IS MY WIFE, SHADOW LEWIS.
42700:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,040I...I HAVE A PROBLEM.
42800:24:06,040 --> 00:24:06,720I HAVE CANCER,
42900:24:06,720 --> 00:24:11,360AND I'VE BEEN ON DRUGSSINCE I WAS 12 YEARS OLD,
43000:24:11,360 --> 00:24:15,400BUT I'VE BEEN ON OXYCODONESINCE 2007.
43100:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,160I-I HAVE AN AD-DIC-DIC-DICTION,
43200:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,440PLUS I'M FIGHTING CANCER, T-TOO.
43300:24:20,440 --> 00:24:24,000SO THESE ARE TWO 15sI'M GETTING READY TO DO.
43400:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,600ONE FOR ME AND ONE FOR MY WIFE.
43500:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,640THIS IS H-HOW I DO IT.
43600:24:30,800 --> 00:24:34,240TH-TH-THIS IS NOTGONNA MAKE ME H-HIGH,
43700:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,760OR I'M NOT GONNA BEFALLING OVER,
43800:24:36,760 --> 00:24:37,680N-NOTHING OF THAT SORT.
43900:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,080THIS IS JUST TO KEEP ME FROMBEING SICK THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
44000:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,440I HAVE BRAIN CANCER NOW,IS WHERE IT'S AT -- AT N-NOW.
44100:24:45,440 --> 00:24:50,480WENT FROM MY STOMACHT-TO MY H-H-HEAD.
44200:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,520THEY GIVE ME SIX MONTHSTO LIVE TW-TWICE,
44300:24:53,520 --> 00:24:58,240AND I WENT THROUGH THE CHEMOAND RADIATION IN P-PITTSBURGH,
44400:24:58,240 --> 00:25:03,720AND THEY'RE WANTING TO TAKE MEBACK INTO M-MORGANTOWN NOW,
44500:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,280T-T-TO DO FOR MY H-H-HEAD.
44600:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,440AND TR-TRUTHFULLY,MORGANTOWN IS --
44700:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,480THEY DON'T HAVENO BEDSIDE M-MANNERS.
44800:25:12,480 --> 00:25:13,320IT'S ALL S-STUDENTS,
44900:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,120AND THEY DON'T CAREABOUT N-NO-NOBODY.
45000:25:17,280 --> 00:25:22,800A-AND THAT'S WHERE I-I-I'LL LETTHEM OPERATE ON MY BACK
45100:25:22,800 --> 00:25:26,360OR MY HIP OR WHATEVER,ON MY STOMACH AGAIN,
45200:25:26,360 --> 00:25:28,800BUT I'LL N-N-NEVER LETTHEM OPERATE ON MY HEAD.
45300:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,200THEY WANT TO DRILL TWO HOLESRIGHT HERE
45400:25:31,200 --> 00:25:36,560AND ONE IN THE BACK --BEHIND MY E-E-EAR.
45500:25:36,560 --> 00:25:41,320THERE'S NOBODY THAT CAN TAKE MEEXCEPT FOR GOD AB-BOVE.
45600:25:41,320 --> 00:25:42,160I BELIEVE IN G-GOD.
45700:25:42,160 --> 00:25:46,120I KNOW I'M NOT DOING RIGHTWHAT I'M SITTING HERE D-DOING,
45800:25:46,120 --> 00:25:50,000BUT THIS IS H-HOW THEY DO YOUIN THE HOSPITAL.
45900:25:50,000 --> 00:25:50,840I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU.
46000:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,080THEY COME AROUND WITH A PILLAND YOU SWALLOW IT,
46100:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,920OR THEY COME AROUND WITH A SHOTAND INJECT IT THROUGH YOUR I.V.
46200:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,040I MEAN, IT'S NOTHINGTHAT THEY DON'T D-DO.
46300:25:59,040 --> 00:26:03,200THERE'S NOTHING HERE EXCEPTFOR DRUGS AND THE COAL MINES.
46400:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,120IT'S ALL THAT'S INTHIS LITTLE TOWN.
46500:26:06,120 --> 00:26:07,040THEY CALL IT OXYANA.
46600:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,280I MEAN, IT'S THE N-N-NAMEOF IT -- OXYANA.
46700:26:10,280 --> 00:26:11,640I MEAN, THERE'S...
46800:26:11,640 --> 00:26:12,320NEEDLESS TO SAY,
46900:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,480THERE'S M-MORE DOPEIN THIS LITTLE TOWN
47000:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,360THAN I'VE SEEN IN SOME PARTSOF THIS HERE CITY.
47100:26:18,360 --> 00:26:19,080F-F-FOR REAL.
47200:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,680I MEAN, THAT'S THE H-HONESTTO GOODNESS TRUTH.
47300:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,040THERE'S MORE DOPEIN THIS LITTLE TOWN
47400:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,480THAN THERE IS IN SOME PLACESIN THE CITY.
47500:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,200-OCEANA USED TO BE SUCHA WONDERFUL PLACE TO LIVE,
47600:26:29,200 --> 00:26:33,040AND NOW YOU'RE ALMOST ASHAMEDTO SAY YOU'RE FROM OCEANA,
47700:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,280BECAUSE PEOPLE SAY "OXYANA."
47800:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,280AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCHWHAT IT'S BECOME.
47900:26:36,280 --> 00:26:43,800-I'VE SEEN 8-, 9-, 10-YEAR-OLDKIDS SHOOTING DOPE...
48000:26:43,800 --> 00:26:49,760TO 70-, 80-, 90-YEAR-OLD PEOPLE.
48100:26:49,760 --> 00:26:54,240YOU KNOW, OLDER PEOPLE,SHOOTING DOPE.
48200:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,880IF IT WASN'T FOR DRUGSIN THIS TOWN,
48300:26:57,880 --> 00:27:03,080MY OPINION,THERE WOULDN'T BE NO TOWN.
48400:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,160-IT'S JUST SO PREVALENT HERE
48500:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,760THAT IT'S HARD FOR USTO KEEP TRACK.
48600:27:11,760 --> 00:27:12,640ONE TIME LAST SUMMER,
48700:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,120I LITERALLY HAD TO TELL THE DRUGTASK FORCE TO STOP MAKING BUYS
48800:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,520'CAUSE WE COULDN'T KEEP UPWITH THE PAPERWORK.
48900:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,400YOU KNOW, WE ARE INAN UNFORTUNATE CONSEQUENCE
49000:27:21,400 --> 00:27:25,080WHERE THE PEOPLE THATWE EITHER WANT TO HELP,
49100:27:25,080 --> 00:27:25,760WHO ARE ADDICTED,
49200:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,720OR THAT WE ARE AFTERBECAUSE THEY'RE DEALERS,
49300:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,600ARE KILLING THEMSELVES OFF.
49400:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,400[ PAPER RUSTLING ]
49500:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,360-I HAD A WHOLE FOLDER OF IT.
49600:27:35,360 --> 00:27:38,280RIGHT HERE.
49700:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,040"BORN '83.
49800:27:39,040 --> 00:27:45,760JUNE 25th, '83,AND DIED APRIL 2, 2010."
49900:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,000OVERDOSE.
50000:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,480HERE'S ANOTHER PICTUREOF A GIRL THAT DIED --
50100:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,360OVERDOSED -- THAT WASA FRIEND OF MINE.
50200:27:51,360 --> 00:27:54,640THAT'S ONE OF THE PICTURESTHEY HAD AT HER FUNERAL.
50300:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,360SHE DIED. OVERDOSE.
50400:27:58,360 --> 00:28:02,240I MEAN, THE LIST GOES ON.THE LIST GOES ON.
50500:28:02,240 --> 00:28:06,320-YOU KNOW, HALF OF MY GRADUATINGCLASS IS DEAD 'CAUSE OF PILLS,
50600:28:06,320 --> 00:28:07,200AND I'M 23 YEARS OLD.
50700:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,680LIKE, TWO YEARSAFTER I GRADUATED,
50800:28:08,680 --> 00:28:13,080I THINK SIX OF MY FRIENDS PASSEDAWAY DUE TO PRESCRIPTION DRUGS,
50900:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,440AND...LAST YEAR
51000:28:16,440 --> 00:28:21,040I HELPED BURY THREE OFMY BEST FRIENDS DUE TO DRUGS.
51100:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,520AND...IT'S SAD, MAN.
51200:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,440IT'S SAD THAT, YOU KNOW,THEY HAD KIDS --
51300:28:27,440 --> 00:28:28,320SOME OF THEM HAD KIDS,
51400:28:28,320 --> 00:28:32,000AND THOSE KIDS WILL NEVER BEABLE TO LIVE DOWN THE FACT
51500:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000THAT THEIR DAD O.D.'d, YOU KNOW?
51600:28:34,000 --> 00:28:34,840AND THAT BREAKS MY HEART.
51700:28:34,840 --> 00:28:40,040-MY BEST FRIEND, PERKY,MET HIM WHEN I WAS...
51800:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,000YOU KNOW...SINCE I WAS...
51900:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,040WHAT YEAR DID HE DIE?
52000:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,280-I DON'T KNOW, JOE.I WASN'T WITH YOU THEN.
52100:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,920-I MEAN, WE GREW UP TOGETHERALL OF OUR LIVES, MAN.
52200:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,480AND HE WAS A PETROLEUM ENGINEER,
52300:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,400WENT TO WVU FOR FOUR YEARS,
52400:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,720GOT A DEGREEIN PETROLEUM ENGINEERING
52500:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,600AND GOT A KILLER JOB, YOU KNOW.
52600:28:59,600 --> 00:29:06,240AND THIS DOCTOR HAD HOOKED HIMUP ON OXYS AND STUFF,
52700:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,880AND HE DIDN'T LIVEBUT A YEAR PAST THAT, MAN.
52800:29:09,880 --> 00:29:10,720HE O.D.'d AND DIED.
52900:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,520-WE'VE KNOWN A LOT OF PEOPLETO O.D.
53000:29:13,520 --> 00:29:14,800-HE WAS LIKE MY BROTHER, DUDE.
53100:29:14,800 --> 00:29:18,640-I'VE LOST TWO REALLY CLOSEPEOPLE TO PILLS, YOU KNOW?
53200:29:18,640 --> 00:29:22,200AND WHEN YOU GO LOOK AT THEMTHERE IN THAT CASKET
53300:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,280AND KNOW THEY'RE NEVERGONNA BREATHE AGAIN,
53400:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,200THEY'RE NEVER GONNAMAKE YOU LAUGH AGAIN,
53500:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,440YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET TO TALKOR HANG OUT AGAIN
53600:29:31,440 --> 00:29:32,880AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THAT?
53700:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,000I MEAN, THAT SUCKS.I HATE THAT.
53800:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,320BUT IT'S HARD TO CRYBECAUSE...
53900:29:37,320 --> 00:29:38,320IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
54000:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,760YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD ITTHAT WAY.
54100:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,680-EVERY PERSON I KNOW
54200:29:42,680 --> 00:29:48,800PERSONALLY KNOWS SOMEBODYWHO HAS O.D.'d AND DIED.
54300:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,080MY GIRLS HAVEA CLOSE FRIEND WHO --
54400:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,320HIS MOTHER O.D.'d AND DIED.
54500:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,120EVERYBODY KNOWS SOMEBODY.
54600:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,200IT'S NOT LIKE YOU KNOW SOMEBODY
54700:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,000WHO KNOWS SOMEBODYWHO KNOWS SOMEBODY.
54800:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,160EVERYBODY HAS SOMEBODYTHAT'S RELATIVELY CLOSE TO THEM
54900:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,280THAT HAS O.D.'d AND DIED.
55000:30:05,280 --> 00:30:12,000AND WHEN THAT IS YOUR REALITY,IT'S SCARY TO THINK,
55100:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,320"OH, WELL, MAYBE MY KID'S
55200:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,120JUST GONNA GO SMOKE A JOINTOR SOMETHING,"
55300:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,720BUT WHAT'S AFTER THAT?
55400:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,080-WHEN PEOPLE DIES AROUND HERE,
55500:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,920THEY SAY, "OH,THEY BEEN OXY-CUTED."
55600:30:24,920 --> 00:30:25,720[ CHUCKLES ]
55700:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,560I MEAN, YOU GOTA 20-YEAR-OLD KID DIES,
55800:30:28,560 --> 00:30:29,880"OH, HE BEEN OXY-CUTED.
55900:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,000FUCK IT,HE DONE IT TO HIMSELF."
56000:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,040THEY DON'T CARE.WHAT THE FUCK.
56100:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,800[ ENGINE REVS ]
56200:33:17,400 --> 00:33:18,880-WHENEVER ME AND HERGOT TOGETHER ABOUT SHIT,
56300:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,560FUCKING I TRIED TO HIDE IT FROMHER FOR ABOUT A MONTH, SO...
56400:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,400AND THEN, WHEN SHE SEEN MESNORTING MY FIRST PILL,
56500:33:24,400 --> 00:33:25,280I TOLD HER STRAIGHT UP --
56600:33:25,280 --> 00:33:27,400"I BEEN DOING THIS SHITBEFORE I GOT WITH YOU,
56700:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,320"I'M GONNA KEEP DOING IT.
56800:33:28,320 --> 00:33:29,600"IF YOU WANT TO BEWITH ME, COOL.
56900:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,520IF NOT, I'LL TAKE YOU HOMERIGHT NOW."
57000:33:31,520 --> 00:33:32,720AND SHE HUNG AROUND THERE.
57100:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,360-WHAT WAS THAT LIKE FOR YOU?
57200:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,600-IT WAS...
57300:33:36,600 --> 00:33:37,480I WASN'T EXPECTING IT,
57400:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,240'CAUSE I ALWAYS SAID THATI WOULDN'T BE WITH ANYBODY
57500:33:40,240 --> 00:33:41,440WHO WOULD DO THAT KIND OF STUFF,
57600:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,200'CAUSE I DIDN'TWANT TO GET INTO IT.
57700:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,920I DIDN'T WANT MY FAMILYTO LOOK DOWN ON ME,
57800:33:46,920 --> 00:33:51,400AS IF I WAS A BAD PERSONFOR BEING WITH SOMEBODY,
57900:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,400BUT I LOVED HIM AND STILL DO,
58000:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,360EVEN THOUGH...YOU GET MEAN SOMETIMES.
58100:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,840-THING IS, PEOPLE LOOK --PORTRAY YOU A DIFFERENT WAY.
58200:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,240THEY THINK JUST 'CAUSEYOU SHOOT UP YOU'RE A BAD --
58300:34:01,240 --> 00:34:04,800YOU'RE A SORRY SON OF A BITCH,YOU'RE A BAD MOTHERFUCKER,
58400:34:04,800 --> 00:34:05,800YOU'RE NOTHING TO SOCIETY.
58500:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,760ALL IT IS --YOU'RE A FUCKING ADDICT,
58600:34:07,760 --> 00:34:08,720YOU CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT.
58700:34:08,720 --> 00:34:10,120I MEAN, IF I COULDI'D QUIT SHIT TODAY.
58800:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,000WOULDN'T WANT TO EVEN THINKABOUT ANOTHER FUCKING PILL.
58900:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,040WHEN IT GETS TO THE POINT WHENYOU'RE LAYING IN FUCKING BED,
59000:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,040FUCKING COLD SHAKES,FUCKING SWEATING,
59100:34:17,040 --> 00:34:18,000FUCKING CAN'T FUCKING MOVE
59200:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,280AND THE ONLY THING ON YOUR MINDIS THAT FUCKING PILL,
59300:34:20,280 --> 00:34:21,600YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK NO MORE.
59400:34:21,600 --> 00:34:22,560I MEAN, I GOT TO THE POINT
59500:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,480WHERE IT'S BETTERTO FUCKING KILL ME,
59600:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,640AND I'VE THOUGHTABOUT STUPID SHIT,
59700:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,480BUT FUCKING GOT TO THINK
59800:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,040A LITTLE BIT RATIONALLYABOUT SHIT,
59900:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,040AND SO I TRY AND BRING MYSELFOUT OF IT.
60000:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,040BUT THEN, YOU KNOW,SOMETHING HAPPENS --
60100:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,280YOU GET MONEY,YOU GET SOMETHING WORKED UP,
60200:34:35,280 --> 00:34:36,280I GET MY PILL, I'M HAPPY.
60300:34:36,280 --> 00:34:39,000SHE'S SEEN ME -- I'M A MEANSON OF A BITCH SOME DAYS,
60400:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,640AND THEN YOU FUCKING KNOWYOU DON'T TALK TO ME,
60500:34:41,640 --> 00:34:42,560YOU DON'T BE AROUND ME.
60600:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,240THE SMALLEST LITTLE THINGWILL SET ME OFF,
60700:34:44,240 --> 00:34:46,160AND I'LL FLY OFFTHE FUCKING HANDLE.
60800:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,160-I'M STILL WITH YOU, THOUGH.
60900:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,520-AS SOON AS I GETMY FUCKING PILL, I'M HAPPY.
61000:34:49,520 --> 00:34:50,360I'M A GOOD MOTHERFUCKER.
61100:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,840I MEAN, I TRY TO KEEP ITLIKE THAT, BUT IT'S HARD.
61200:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,680[ ENGINE REVS ]
61300:34:55,680 --> 00:34:59,440-[ LAUGHS ]
61400:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,000-PAID $45 FOR IT.ONE FUCKING PILL.
61500:35:14,000 --> 00:35:18,120WHAT I'M GONNA DO --I'M GONNA SHOOT IT UP.
61600:35:23,600 --> 00:35:28,840PUT A WHOLE UNIT OF WATER ON IT.
61700:35:34,760 --> 00:35:41,200USUALLY WITH THESE YOU'VE GOTTO FUCKING COLD-SHOOT THESE.
61800:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,000THE OTHER ONES, YOU CAN THROWA LITTLE HEAT TO THEM,
61900:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,440BUT THESE,THEY'LL DRY UP ON YOU,
62000:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,760JUST WASTE YOUR FUCKING DOPE.
62100:36:05,600 --> 00:36:10,120BLOOD ROLLS BACK,YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE.
62200:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,880COST OF ROOT, $45.
62300:36:27,240 --> 00:36:31,120USUALLY EVERYBODY'LL SUCK IT OFFSO YOU CAN GET ALL YOUR DOPE UP,
62400:36:31,120 --> 00:36:36,400AND THAT'S YOUR SECONDS, THEN,PRETTY MUCH DONE AND OVER WITH.
62500:36:42,320 --> 00:36:43,040PHEW.
62600:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,840SEE, THAT'S WHYIT'S FUCKING SO FUCKING...
62700:36:45,840 --> 00:36:47,400EVERYBODY LIKES IT.
62800:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,200INSTANTANEOUSLYIT FUCKING HITS YOU
62900:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,840AND YOUR FUCKING CRAMPS,
63000:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,520HURTING --EVERYTHING GOES AWAY.
63100:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,440JUST THAT FAST.
63200:37:01,400 --> 00:37:02,280-THERE ARE TIMES THAT,
63300:37:02,280 --> 00:37:06,760WHENEVER WE'RE DOWN TO, LIKE,OUR LAST BIT OF MONEY,
63400:37:06,760 --> 00:37:07,760HE'LL BE SICK.
63500:37:07,760 --> 00:37:11,320AND I DON'T LIKESEEING HIM SICK.
63600:37:11,320 --> 00:37:16,680I'VE SEEN HIM GO THROUGH THECOLD SWEATS AND THROWING UP
63700:37:16,680 --> 00:37:18,080AND ALL THAT STUFF,
63800:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,280AND IT WORRIES ME,
63900:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,480'CAUSE I'VE HEARDABOUT THE DANGERS
64000:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,360OF PEOPLE COMING OFF IT,THEY CAN DIE FROM IT.
64100:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,760AND I-I'M SCARED TO DEATH OFTHAT HAPPENING ALL THE TIME.
64200:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,280SO, I'LL TELL HIM TO TAKEOUR LAST LITTLE BIT OF MONEY
64300:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,400THAT WE'VE GOTAND GO GET HIM SOME.
64400:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,200IT'S LIKE IF HE GOES A DAYWITHOUT IT,
64500:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,080HE TURNS INTOA TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON,
64600:37:37,080 --> 00:37:41,040TO THE POINT WHERE I DON'T EVENWANT TO BE NEAR HIM.
64700:37:41,040 --> 00:37:44,160BUT I KNOW THAT I GOTTO BE THERE FOR HIM,
64800:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,440SO IT'S ONE OF THOSELOSE-LOSE SITUATIONS.
64900:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,880AND IT JUST MAKES ITSO DIFFICULT.
65000:37:50,880 --> 00:37:52,160IT ALSO SCARES ME,
65100:37:52,160 --> 00:37:56,640'CAUSE WITH THE BABY ON THE WAY,I DON'T KNOW...
65200:37:56,640 --> 00:38:01,920LIKE, IF THE BABY DECIDES THATIT'S GONNA BE CRANKY ONE DAY
65300:38:01,920 --> 00:38:02,640AND HE'S SICK,
65400:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,760I'M SCARED THATHE'S JUST GONNA BLOW UP
65500:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,520AND JUST TAKE OFF SOMEWHERE,
65600:38:07,520 --> 00:38:12,720AND I WON'T SEE HIM FOR THE RESTOF THE DAY OR WHATEVER.
65700:38:12,720 --> 00:38:15,160-JASON PRETTY MUCHDRIVES ME CRAZY.
65800:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,640I'VE OFFERED TO TAKE HIMTO REHAB -- HE WON'T GO.
65900:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,400HE SAYS HE'LL GO,HE'LL GET CLEANED UP,
66000:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,800AND WHEN THAT'S OVERHE'LL JUST GO RIGHT BACK.
66100:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,360AND OF COURSE,WE'VE HAD THE TALKS
66200:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,120ABOUT THAT KINDOF ATTITUDE AND...
66300:38:30,120 --> 00:38:31,520BUT I THINK, FOR THE MOST PART,
66400:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,560HE'S BEING PRETTY TRUTHFULWITH ME ABOUT THAT.
66500:38:34,560 --> 00:38:38,560BUT HE'S GOT TROUBLEWITH THE LAW AND...
66600:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,120YOU KNOW, HIM AND CHELSEA
66700:38:40,120 --> 00:38:44,080ARE LIVING INHER GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE --
66800:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,200IT'S NOT HIS.
66900:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,560HE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB,
67000:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,800AND HE'S GOT A BABY ON THE WAY.
67100:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,560HOW IRRESPONSIBLE IS THAT?
67200:38:54,800 --> 00:38:58,600-I B-BEG-BEG-BEGGED H-HER
67300:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,160TO N-NE-NEVERN-NEVER EVER DO THIS,
67400:39:01,160 --> 00:39:06,560A-AND I SAID ONE NIGHT,I WAS JUST OUT OF P-PR-PRISON --
67500:39:06,560 --> 00:39:11,160THAT WAS BEFORE I EVER HAD ANYOF MY OPERATIONS OR ANYTHING --
67600:39:11,160 --> 00:39:12,080AND SHE WAS FR-FRESH AIR,
67700:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,280AND THAT'S AFTERSHE HAD DONE WHUPPED ME
67800:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,400IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDSAND EVERYTHING.
67900:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,720SH-SHE WAS SITTINGAT THE H-HOUSE ONE NIGHT,
68000:39:19,720 --> 00:39:20,640AND I WAS DOING A SHOT.
68100:39:20,640 --> 00:39:25,000AND SHE WALKED IN WHEN I WASDOING A SHOT AND C-CAUGHT --
68200:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,000-I LEFT HIM.
68300:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,240-SHE LEFTAND THEN SHE COME BACK,
68400:39:29,240 --> 00:39:31,520AND THEN SHE SEEN MEDOING IT AGAIN.
68500:39:31,520 --> 00:39:35,360SHE SAID, "WELL, IF YOU'RE GONNADO IT, I'M GONNA DO IT."
68600:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,280-"WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT THIS?"
68700:39:37,280 --> 00:39:38,080-AND I EVEN CRIED.
68800:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,360I BEGGED HER AND BEGGED HER,"PLEASE DON'T DO THIS."
68900:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,120AND I WOULDN'T H-HIT HER.
69000:39:43,120 --> 00:39:43,800AND SHE SAT DOWN,
69100:39:43,800 --> 00:39:47,240'CAUSE SHE HAD SEEN HOW I DONEIT AND SEEN OTHER PEOPLE,
69200:39:47,240 --> 00:39:48,240H-HOW THEY DONE IT,
69300:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,240AND SHE SIT DOWNAND FIXED IT UP,
69400:39:50,240 --> 00:39:51,640AND SHE STARTED POKING HERSELF.
69500:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,160AND THERE WAS BLOODRUNNING EVERYWHERE,
69600:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,040AND SHE HAD10 OR 15 HOLES IN HER,
69700:39:57,040 --> 00:40:04,360AND I FINALLY GIVE IN AND SAID,"I'LL GO AHEAD AND HIT YOU."
69800:40:10,320 --> 00:40:15,800-I GET PRESCRIBEDPRETTY STRONG MEDICATION
69900:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,080BECAUSE MY DADDY HAS BEAT ON ME.
70000:40:19,080 --> 00:40:20,920IT'S NOT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
70100:40:20,920 --> 00:40:21,760I DON'T WANT TO COME OFF
70200:40:21,760 --> 00:40:24,240LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE AROUND HEREIS ON DOPE.
70300:40:24,240 --> 00:40:27,240EVERYBODY ELSE<i>IS</i>AROUND HERE,AND I KNOW THAT.
70400:40:27,240 --> 00:40:31,600AND THAT SOUNDS SO BAD OF ME.[ SIGHS ]
70500:40:31,600 --> 00:40:35,480BUT I'M ON OXYCODONE 15s
70600:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,240AND OXYCODONE IR5s
70700:40:38,240 --> 00:40:42,200FOR BOOSTERS,AND I'M ON XANAXES.
70800:40:42,200 --> 00:40:46,400AND I DON'T HAVE TIMEFOR MY BACK TO HURT.
70900:40:46,400 --> 00:40:50,040I DON'T HAVE TIMEFOR MY NECK TO HURT.
71000:40:50,040 --> 00:40:54,200I HAVE A LITTLE GIRLTHAT IS INTO EVERYTHING.
71100:40:54,200 --> 00:40:59,760MY PAIN MEDICINE, HONEST TO GOD,HELPS ME FUNCTION.
71200:40:59,760 --> 00:41:03,840I DON'T ABUSE MY MEDICATION.
71300:41:03,840 --> 00:41:07,280-I TAKE THEM LIKEI'M SUPPOSED TO,
71400:41:07,280 --> 00:41:11,800'CAUSE, HELL,I NEED THEM, YOU KNOW?
71500:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,400I GOT ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION.
71600:41:14,400 --> 00:41:15,600I AIN'T GONNA LIE --
71700:41:15,600 --> 00:41:20,160EVERY NOW AND THEN I GETA LITTLE FUCKING CRAZY.
71800:41:20,160 --> 00:41:20,840[ CHUCKLES ]
71900:41:20,840 --> 00:41:24,720-I FIRST STARTED DOING PILLSBECAUSE I SEEN KAYLA,
72000:41:24,720 --> 00:41:29,680MY COUSIN -- SHE LOST --I USED TO BE, LIKE, REALLY BIG.
72100:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,080AND SHE STARTED DOING PILLS,
72200:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,400AND SHE LOST LIKE 80 POUNDS,LIKE, REALLY QUICK.
72300:41:34,400 --> 00:41:39,760I LOST LIKE ALMOST 100 POUNDSIN FOUR MONTHS.
72400:41:39,760 --> 00:41:41,240YEAH.
72500:41:41,240 --> 00:41:42,280AND I WAS HAPPY AT THE END.
72600:41:42,280 --> 00:41:46,360BUT I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GONNAGET HOOKED ON PILLS LIKE THAT.
72700:41:46,360 --> 00:41:51,000I DON'T KNOW, ME AND SOMEBODYROBBED THIS DUDE. [ SCOFFS ]
72800:41:51,000 --> 00:41:55,480TOOK LIKE $1,500, $1,600FROM HIM,
72900:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,760AND WE TOOK OFF FOR THE NIGHT.
73000:41:57,760 --> 00:41:58,760WE GOT A BUNCH OF PILLS,
73100:41:58,760 --> 00:42:02,440AND WE GOT A BUNCH OF COKEAND HUNG OUT IN BECKLEY.
73200:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,640THE FIRST TIME I SHOT UP,IT WAS OxyContin --
73300:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,000THE ONES THAT THEY USED TO MAKE,THE O.C. ONES.
73400:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,200AND IT WAS JUST THE BEST FEELINGIN THE WORLD.
73500:42:12,200 --> 00:42:15,520LIKE, I JUST FELLIN LOVE WITH IT.
73600:42:17,520 --> 00:42:18,920-IT'S A LOVE-HATE RELATIONSHIP.
73700:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,560I MEAN, THAT'S A PLAIN FACT,TRUTH ABOUT IT.
73800:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,200I MEAN, I LOVE IT 'CAUSEOF THE WAY IT MAKES ME FEEL
73900:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,000AND HOW IT TAKESEVERYTHING AWAY,
74000:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,800BUT I HATE IT BECAUSEOF WHAT IT'S DOING TO ME
74100:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,920AND WHAT IT'S DOINGTO THE PEOPLE AROUND ME.
74200:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,240BECAUSE AT TIMES, I'LL SAY,
74300:42:34,240 --> 00:42:37,080"IT AIN'T AFFECTING NOBODYEXCEPT MYSELF,"
74400:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,520BUT IT'S AFFECTINGEVERYBODY AROUND ME, TOO.
74500:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,840MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS.
74600:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,320I GOT THAT BABY ON THE WAY,
74700:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,680AND I WANT TO START TRYING DOINGRIGHT BY IT, BUT...
74800:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,200HELL, I FUCKING -- I TRIED IT.
74900:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,880I GO LIKE TWO, THREE DAYS,AND I MEAN...
75000:42:53,880 --> 00:42:57,160CHELSEA, WHEN I WASIN THERE, FUCKING...
75100:42:57,160 --> 00:42:58,040HOT AS FUCK UP IN HERE
75200:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,320AND I WAS BACK THEREFUCKING SHIVERING, SHAKING,
75300:43:01,320 --> 00:43:02,320MY SHIRT WAS SOAKING WET.
75400:43:02,320 --> 00:43:05,440I MEAN, I FELT LIKE I WASON MY FUCKING DEATHBED.
75500:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,080AND THEN THIS LADYLOANED ME FUCKING $40.
75600:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,280I WENT DOWN TO PINEVILLEAND GOT ME A FUCKING 30,
75700:43:10,280 --> 00:43:12,320AND SOON AS I GOT HOMEAND DONE IT,
75800:43:12,320 --> 00:43:13,160I WAS UP, MOVING AROUND,
75900:43:13,160 --> 00:43:14,400JUMPING, JITTERY, FUCKING,YOU KNOW.
76000:43:14,400 --> 00:43:16,400HE'S LIKE, "DAMN, WHO THE HELL'STHIS MOTHERFUCKER?"
76100:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,680I MEAN [CHUCKLES] YOU DIDN'TTHINK NOTHING ABOUT SHIT.
76200:43:18,680 --> 00:43:23,200-YOU<i>HAVE</i>TO HAVE IT.YOU'LL DO ANYTHING TO GET IT.
76300:43:23,200 --> 00:43:23,840AND SO YOU'LL GO
76400:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,920AND YOU'LL SIT WITH THIS OLD MANTHAT SELLS DRUGS,
76500:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,640BECAUSE IF YOU SIT WITH HIMLONG ENOUGH,
76600:43:29,640 --> 00:43:33,160THEN HE'LL JUST KEEPHANDING YOU 30s, 80s,
76700:43:33,160 --> 00:43:34,480COKE, WHATEVER YOU WANT.
76800:43:34,480 --> 00:43:35,600-AND YOU KNOW WHAT<i>HE'S</i>WANTING.
76900:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,560IN YOUR HEAD,YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S WANTING,
77000:43:37,560 --> 00:43:38,560BUT IT'S LIKE IT DOESN'T MATTER.
77100:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,640IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER, BECAUSEAS LONG YOU'RE GETTING --
77200:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,280AS LONG AS HE'S FEEDINGTHOSE PILLS TO YOU
77300:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,720AND YOU'RE GETTING THEM,YOU DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT.
77400:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,760YOU DON'T THINKABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES
77500:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,600IN YOUR HEAD WHATSOEVERONCE YOU'RE GETTING HIGH.
77600:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,400IT DOESN'T HIT YOUUNTIL AFTER THE FACT,
77700:43:52,400 --> 00:43:53,680UNTIL AFTER YOU'RE SOBER.
77800:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,160-THE LAST THING YOU THINK OF
77900:43:56,160 --> 00:44:00,080BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEPAT NIGHT IS,
78000:44:00,080 --> 00:44:04,680"HOW CAN I GET ME A FIXIN THE MORNING?"
78100:44:04,680 --> 00:44:08,040AND WHEN YOUR EYES FIRST OPEN UPTHAT MORNING,
78200:44:08,040 --> 00:44:11,000THAT'S THE FIRST THINGYOU THINK OF,
78300:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,480IS "HOW AM I GONNA GET IT?"
78400:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,720AND ONE WAY OR ANOTHER,YOU'LL GET IT,
78500:44:15,720 --> 00:44:16,640IF I HAVE TO TAKE IT.
78600:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,200NOW, I'VE NEVER WENT AND ARMEDAND ROBBED NOBODY
78700:44:20,200 --> 00:44:22,760OR BEAT UP NOBODY,BUT I'D TRICK YOU.
78800:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,200I'D SAY, "YOU GOT ANY MOREOF THEM FOR SALE?"
78900:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,040"YEAH.""WELL, HERE, SELL ME TWO."
79000:44:28,040 --> 00:44:31,240WELL, WHEN HE GETSHIS BOTTLE OUT -- I'M GONE.
79100:44:31,240 --> 00:44:32,880I'M CONVICTED OF TWO MURDERS.
79200:44:32,880 --> 00:44:36,560WHO'S GONNA COME UNDER HEREAND BOTHER ME?
79300:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,280I MEAN, I'M NOT BRAGGING.
79400:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,440IT'S A SHAME -- I'M ASHAMED.
79500:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,320I'M NOT BRAGGING TO YOU.
79600:44:42,320 --> 00:44:43,040I'M ASHAMED OF...
79700:44:43,040 --> 00:44:46,000YOU KNOW, THE LIFESTYLEI'VE LIVED, YOU KNOW.
79800:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,640-IS IT SCARY LIVING AROUND HEREBECAUSE OF THE STEALING?
79900:44:49,640 --> 00:44:50,880-YEAH. YOU NEVER...
80000:44:50,880 --> 00:44:56,240I'M SURPRISED THEM SPEAKERS ANDSTUFF HAVEN'T GOT STOLEN YET,
80100:44:56,240 --> 00:44:58,200BECAUSE --AND THAT PLAYSTATION 3 --
80200:44:58,200 --> 00:45:02,000BECAUSE THERE'S SO MANY THIEVESAROUND HERE.
80300:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,240HONESTLY.
80400:45:03,240 --> 00:45:05,680PEOPLE THINK, I MEAN...
80500:45:05,680 --> 00:45:06,360[ SIGHS ]
80600:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,560PEOPLE THAT YOU THINKTHAT'LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND,
80700:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,240PEOPLE THAT'VE BEEN THEREFOR YOU THROUGH THICK AND THIN
80800:45:13,240 --> 00:45:16,240THAT YOU THINK THATTHEY'D BE THERE FOR YOU...
80900:45:16,240 --> 00:45:20,920BUT THEY'D BE THE ONETO FUCK YOU OVER THE MOST.
81000:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,200-[ LAUGHS ]
81100:45:22,200 --> 00:45:25,120[ RAP MUSIC PLAYS ]
81200:45:26,720 --> 00:45:27,600-TELL THEM HOW WE MET.
81300:45:27,600 --> 00:45:31,480-WHEN I FIRST S-SEEN H-HERIN PRISON,
81400:45:31,480 --> 00:45:35,680I WALKED OVER TO HER,I PUT MY HAND UP UNDER HER CHIN,
81500:45:35,680 --> 00:45:37,720I SAYS "LONG AS YOU'RE WITH ME,
81600:45:37,720 --> 00:45:41,640YOU'LL KEEP YOUR HEADHELD HIGH."
81700:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,560-I BROKE DOWNWHEN MY DAD PASSED AWAY.
81800:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,920IN MY SENIOR YEAROF HIGH SCHOOL,
81900:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,600I HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
82000:45:49,600 --> 00:45:50,480BUT I WORKED THROUGH IT,
82100:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,400AND I KNOW IT'S GONNA BEPROBABLY THE HARDEST --
82200:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,240OR HARDER, OF MEWHEN HE DOES PASS AWAY,
82300:45:56,240 --> 00:45:57,080BUT I CAN HANDLE IT.
82400:45:57,080 --> 00:46:01,720I KNOW THAT GODHAS NOT PUT ME NOTHING...
82500:46:01,720 --> 00:46:02,320I HAVE...
82600:46:02,320 --> 00:46:06,520GOD HAS NOT PUT NOTHING ON MEI CAN'T FIGHT IN LIFE,
82700:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,440AND I KNOW THIS.
82800:46:08,440 --> 00:46:09,280I'M GONNA MISS HIM,
82900:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,840AND I PROMISED HIM FROM THE DAYWE GOT TOGETHER
83000:46:12,840 --> 00:46:16,840THAT I'D ALWAYS BE HERETO TAKE CARE OF HIS MOM,
83100:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,840AND THAT'S WHAT I WILL DO.
83200:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,400AND I WON'T WALK AWAY.
83300:46:20,400 --> 00:46:22,720I HAVEN'T WALKED AWAY SINCE --
83400:46:22,720 --> 00:46:23,600YOU KNOW, WE GOT MARRIED.
83500:46:23,600 --> 00:46:27,640HE THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA LOSE MEWHEN HE WENT BACK TO PRISON,
83600:46:27,640 --> 00:46:28,480AND I DIDN'T LEAVE THEN,
83700:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,240AND I KNOW WHEN GOD DOESTAKE HIM, I WON'T LEAVE.
83800:46:31,240 --> 00:46:35,240AND THIS -- BOBBY ISMY SPECIAL ONE IN MY LIFE.
83900:46:35,240 --> 00:46:36,600IT SAYS "SOMEONE SPECIAL --
84000:46:36,600 --> 00:46:41,400THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGIN THE WORLD ARE NOT SEEN..."
84100:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,320WHAT'S THAT WORD?
84200:46:43,320 --> 00:46:47,200-"THE M-MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGIN THE WORLD
84300:46:47,200 --> 00:46:48,720ARE N-NOT SEEN NOR TOUCHED."
84400:46:48,720 --> 00:46:53,440-"NOT SEEN, TOUCHED, THESEARE FEELINGS WITH MY HEART."
84500:46:53,440 --> 00:46:54,320AND BOBBY IS MY HEART.
84600:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,920I'VE NEVER HAD SELF-ESTEEM,I'VE NEVER HAD NOTHING,
84700:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,640AND WHEN HE WALKED IN MY LIFE --
84800:46:59,640 --> 00:47:02,400ALWAYS THOUGHTI WAS FAT AND UGLY.
84900:47:02,400 --> 00:47:03,280AND I AM A BIG GIRL.
85000:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,400I BEEN HEAVYSINCE I BEEN BORN --
85100:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,800BUT I CAN SAYGOD PUT ME HERE FOR ME,
85200:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,000AND NOW I CAN SAY,THANKS TO MY HUSBAND,
85300:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,040I LOVE MYSELF NOW.
85400:47:12,040 --> 00:47:13,640I NEVER LOVED MYSELF BEFORE.
85500:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,040[ Voice breaks ]MY MOM HATED ME,
85600:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,040AND SHE STILL HATES ME,
85700:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,280BUT THERE'S NOTHINGI CAN'T GET THROUGH.
85800:47:19,280 --> 00:47:24,320I GOT A GREAT MOTHER-IN-LAW,AND I GOT A GREAT HUSBAND.
85900:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,640-SIX WEEKS.SHE'S SIX WEEKS OLD.
86000:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,400"I'M A MEAN DOG."NO, STOP!
86100:47:33,400 --> 00:47:34,240YOU'RE NOT GETTING DOWN.
86200:47:34,240 --> 00:47:36,800WHEN I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL,I HAD A NURSING LICENSE,
86300:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,560I HAD A BRAND-NEW CAR,I HAD GOT MARRIED.
86400:47:39,560 --> 00:47:40,400I HAD ANYTHING I WANTED.
86500:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,320WITHIN THREE MONTHSAFTER I HAD MY CHILD,
86600:47:43,320 --> 00:47:44,640I WAS ADDICTED TO THE NEEDLE.
86700:47:44,640 --> 00:47:47,600IN ONE DAY,MY HUSBAND WENT TO PRISON.
86800:47:47,600 --> 00:47:48,400THE FOLLOWING DAY,
86900:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,160MY CAR GOT REPOSSESSEDBEFORE I GOT OUT OF THE BED.
87000:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,040THE FOLLOWING DAY,MY CHILD WAS TAKEN.
87100:47:54,040 --> 00:47:54,880SO, WITHIN THREE DAYS,
87200:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,480I LOST EVERYTHING I EVER LOVEDIN MY LIFE.
87300:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,360AND IT JUST GOT TO WHEREI COULD CARE LESS
87400:48:00,360 --> 00:48:01,520IF I LIVED OR DIED.
87500:48:01,520 --> 00:48:02,880I MEAN, THE ONLY THING I DONE --
87600:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,760I WOKE UP EVERY DAY TO DO PILLS.THAT'S IT.
87700:48:05,760 --> 00:48:06,680MY MOM USED TO TELL ME,
87800:48:06,680 --> 00:48:08,400"YOUR KIDS DON'T EVENMEAN ENOUGH TO YOU
87900:48:08,400 --> 00:48:10,680TO STOP DOING DRUGS."AND SHE'S RIGHT.
88000:48:10,680 --> 00:48:12,200ONCE YOU GET ON THEM,YOUR KIDS --
88100:48:12,200 --> 00:48:13,240NOTHING MEANS NOTHING TO YOU.
88200:48:13,240 --> 00:48:16,080I MEAN, THE ONLY THINGYOU CARE ABOUT IS A PILL.
88300:48:16,080 --> 00:48:17,080AND THAT'S...
88400:48:17,080 --> 00:48:18,320-IT COMPLETELY TAKES OVER YOU.
88500:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,160-YEAH. IT'S LIKE --IT'S LIKE A DEMON
88600:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,560THAT'S INSIDE YOU THAT YOU CAN'TGET OUT FOR NOTHING.
88700:48:23,560 --> 00:48:24,520AND IT CONTROLS YOUR LIFE.
88800:48:24,520 --> 00:48:27,200YOU DON'T HAVE CONTROLOF YOUR LIFE NO MORE.
88900:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,160IT CONTROLS IT COMPLETELY.
89000:48:28,160 --> 00:48:32,680-I'M GONNA SHOW YOU --WHICH I MAY NOT SHOULD --
89100:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,640BUT I'M GONNA SHOW YOUWHAT I DO.
89200:48:35,640 --> 00:48:42,160THIS IS ONE THINGTHAT I CAN HONESTLY SAY
89300:48:42,160 --> 00:48:47,880THAT TURNED ME AROUND...
89400:48:47,880 --> 00:48:52,040TO BEING A BETTER PERSON.
89500:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,440THIS IS CALLED A SUBOXONE.
89600:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,680WHAT I DO OF THE MORNINGS,
89700:48:56,680 --> 00:49:01,680I'LL TAKEAND I BEND THIS IN HALF.
89800:49:04,880 --> 00:49:10,520SOME PEOPLE TAKE THE KNIFE,BUT I JUST -- CLOSE ENOUGH.
89900:49:10,520 --> 00:49:11,880I'LL TEAR IT IN TWO.
90000:49:11,880 --> 00:49:15,360I'LL SAVE THAT ONE.
90100:49:15,360 --> 00:49:20,320BUT I'LL TAKE THAT,AND -- WHICH, I GOT DENTURES.
90200:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,360IT'S HARD TO DO WITH DENTURES.
90300:49:22,360 --> 00:49:26,360BUT I'LL FOLD IT UP,JUST LIKE I AM RIGHT HERE,
90400:49:26,360 --> 00:49:32,080AND ALL I DO WITH THATIS LAY IT UNDER MY TONGUE.
90500:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,000AND THAT'S IT.
90600:49:35,000 --> 00:49:40,720IT TAKES ALL THE CRAVINGFROM DRUGS AWAY.
90700:49:40,720 --> 00:49:46,200I DON'T WANT OxyContin NO MORE,BUT I CRAVE THESE.
90800:49:46,200 --> 00:49:49,240IF I AIN'T GOTONE OF THESE A DAY,
90900:49:49,240 --> 00:49:57,000I'M JUST AS DOPE-SICK AS IFI DIDN'T HAVE A SHOT OF DOPE.
91000:49:58,400 --> 00:50:01,280[ GUNSHOT ]
91100:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,640[ GUNSHOT ]
91200:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,480[ GUNSHOT ]
91300:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,840[ PANTING ]
91400:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,680[ GUNSHOT ]
91500:50:16,320 --> 00:50:20,640[ GUNSHOT ]
91600:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,040-IT'S GETTING BAD.
91700:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,640LIKE, YOU REALLY CAN'T TRUSTA LOT OF PEOPLE.
91800:50:30,640 --> 00:50:33,600-PEOPLE ROB OLD PEOPLEFOR THEIR MEDICINE.
91900:50:33,600 --> 00:50:34,760-COMING OUT OF THE PHARMACY.
92000:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,440LIKE, OLD PEOPLE THAT COME OUTOF THE PHARMACY,
92100:50:37,440 --> 00:50:40,560THEY'LL JUST HIT THEMAND BEAT THEM TO DEATH
92200:50:40,560 --> 00:50:41,920AND THEN TAKE WHATEVER THEY GOT.
92300:50:41,920 --> 00:50:44,880IT COULD BEHIGH-BLOOD-PRESSURE MEDICINE.
92400:50:44,880 --> 00:50:45,840IT DON'T MATTER TO PEOPLE.
92500:50:45,840 --> 00:50:50,440IT'S JUST GETTING TO THE POINTWHERE IT'S GETTING BAD.
92600:50:52,920 --> 00:50:57,040I MEAN, PEOPLEJUST TURN UP MISSING,
92700:50:57,040 --> 00:51:00,440AND A COUPLE WEEKS OR A COUPLEMONTHS DOWN THE ROAD,
92800:51:00,440 --> 00:51:04,000THEY'LL FIND THEMIN AN OLD SEWAGE POND
92900:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,840OR DOWN BY THE LAKE.
93000:51:07,840 --> 00:51:09,560IT JUST DEPENDS.
93100:51:09,560 --> 00:51:11,840-PEOPLE SAY,"WELL, THEY WAS RATTIN',"
93200:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,040AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDENTHEY'RE GONE.
93300:51:14,040 --> 00:51:17,000AND THEN THEY FINDTHEIR BONES SOMEWHERE.
93400:51:17,000 --> 00:51:17,840MY GRANDMA FREAKS OUT,
93500:51:17,840 --> 00:51:21,920'CAUSE OVER IN MATHENY,THEY FOUND, LIKE, BONES OF --
93600:51:21,920 --> 00:51:25,120I THINK IT WAS ONE OR TWOOF THEM GIRLS
93700:51:25,120 --> 00:51:26,920THAT WAS MISSING FROM OCEANA.
93800:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,840AND ALL THEY FOUNDWAS THEIR BONES
93900:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,720THAT DOGS HAVE BEEN CHEWING ON.
94000:51:31,720 --> 00:51:35,640MY GRANDMA SAYS,"I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY DONE.
94100:51:35,640 --> 00:51:37,680THEY DIDN'T DESERVE THAT."
94200:51:37,680 --> 00:51:40,000-MY BROTHER WAS MURDERED.
94300:51:40,000 --> 00:51:43,480HE WAS FOUND BEHIND THIS HOUSEIN A POOL
94400:51:43,480 --> 00:51:47,080NINE MONTHSAFTER HE DISAPPEARED.
94500:51:47,080 --> 00:51:47,720HE WAS TIED DOWN
94600:51:47,720 --> 00:51:52,280WITH CINDER BLOCKSAROUND HIS NECK AND STUFF.
94700:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,920AND CHAZ WAS A BIG MAN --
94800:51:55,920 --> 00:51:59,1606"3, 6'4", 260, 270 --
94900:51:59,160 --> 00:52:00,440AND HE WAS A ROUGH OLD BOY.
95000:52:00,440 --> 00:52:04,240I DON'T THINK NO ONE PERSONTOOK HIM FROM THE FRONT.
95100:52:04,240 --> 00:52:07,040THAT SAME TIME PERIODHE DISAPPEARED,
95200:52:07,040 --> 00:52:10,360TWO FEMALESAND ANOTHER GUY DISAPPEARED
95300:52:10,360 --> 00:52:11,920IN ABOUT A 2 1/2-WEEK PERIOD,
95400:52:11,920 --> 00:52:16,200ALL OF THEM WITHINA FOUR- TO FIVE-MILE RADIUS
95500:52:16,200 --> 00:52:16,880OF EACH OTHER.
95600:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,480THIS IS A SMALL COMMUNITY,WHICH YOU CAN SEE,
95700:52:20,480 --> 00:52:21,880AND IT'S JUST REAL ODD.
95800:52:21,880 --> 00:52:25,400MAYBE THEY WEREPARTYING TOGETHER
95900:52:25,400 --> 00:52:29,240AND THINGS JUST GOT OUT OF HAND.
96000:52:38,160 --> 00:52:41,520-EVER SINCE I LOST MY FAMILY,I JUST, I DON'T KNOW,
96100:52:41,520 --> 00:52:44,840IT'S LIKE A PIECE OF ME'SBEEN DEAD EVER SINCE.
96200:52:44,840 --> 00:52:46,520AND I JUST FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW,
96300:52:46,520 --> 00:52:48,520YOU GOT TO LIVE LIFETO ITS FULLEST.
96400:52:48,520 --> 00:52:52,240YOU MIGHT AS WELL SPEAKYOUR MIND AND LET PEOPLE KNOW.
96500:52:52,240 --> 00:52:54,360DON'T TAKE PEOPLEFOR GRANTED, EITHER,
96600:52:54,360 --> 00:52:57,840'CAUSE WHEN I LEFT MY MOMAND DAD'S HOUSE THAT DAY,
96700:52:57,840 --> 00:52:59,440EVERYBODY WAS LOVING ON ME.
96800:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,640YOU KNOW, TELL YOU YOU LOVE YOU.
96900:53:01,640 --> 00:53:04,720I TOLD THEM I LOVED THEM,AND THEN I LEFT.
97000:53:04,720 --> 00:53:08,120AND I COME BACK UP THAT MORNING,BRING MY DADDY'S CHECK,
97100:53:08,120 --> 00:53:09,920AND EVERY ONE OF THEMWAS DEAD, MAN.
97200:53:09,920 --> 00:53:14,520I WENT OUT TO MY PARENTS' HOUSE,IT WAS ON A SATURDAY.
97300:53:14,520 --> 00:53:19,920I WENT BACK TO MY MOM'S BEDROOM,AND I WAS TALKING TO HER.
97400:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,040SHE WANTED ME TO ORDER A PIZZA.
97500:53:21,040 --> 00:53:23,200I WAS LAID OFF AT THE TIME,WE DIDN'T HAVE NO MONEY,
97600:53:23,200 --> 00:53:24,240SHE WANTED ME TO ORDER A PIZZA
97700:53:24,240 --> 00:53:25,720AND GET HER SOME CIGARETTESDOWN THE ROAD.
97800:53:25,720 --> 00:53:27,640THEY DIDN'T HAVE A VEHICLE.[ SNIFFS ]
97900:53:27,640 --> 00:53:28,800WELL, SHE GIVE ME THE MONEY,
98000:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,480AND MY DAD WAS ACTING FUNNYAS HELL,
98100:53:30,480 --> 00:53:32,800'CAUSE MY MOM -- I WASIN THE BEDROOM WITH HER,
98200:53:32,800 --> 00:53:35,360AND SHE KEPT SAYING, "BE QUIET,HE'S LISTENING."
98300:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,040I WAS LIKE, "WHAT THE HELL?"[ SNIFFS ]
98400:53:37,040 --> 00:53:40,120I JUMPED UP OFF THE BEDAND WALKED TO THE BEDROOM DOOR,
98500:53:40,120 --> 00:53:42,280AND HE TOOK OFF RUNNING --HE'D BEEN LISTENING TO US.
98600:53:42,280 --> 00:53:43,400YOU KNOW,ACTING PARANOID AS HELL.
98700:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,360WELL, ANYWAY, I LEFT,SHE GAVE ME $40 THAT DAY.
98800:53:46,360 --> 00:53:47,200I GOT ON THE PHONE,
98900:53:47,200 --> 00:53:49,240ACTING LIKE I CALLED AND ORDEREDA PIZZA AND SHIT,
99000:53:49,240 --> 00:53:51,480LEFT AND WENTAND BOUGHT ME A PILL --
99100:53:51,480 --> 00:53:52,520BOUGHT ME A COUPLE OXY 40s.
99200:53:52,520 --> 00:53:54,520WELL, MY DAD TOLD MEWHEN I LEFT --
99300:53:54,520 --> 00:53:55,560THEY DIDN'T HAVE A VEHICLE --
99400:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,200HE SAID, "GO PICK UP MY CHECKIN THE MORNING,
99500:53:58,200 --> 00:53:59,160MY MINER'S PENSION CHECK."
99600:53:59,160 --> 00:54:00,640HE WAS A COAL MINERALL HIS LIFE.
99700:54:00,640 --> 00:54:02,800I SAID, "OKAY.I'LL BE UP ABOUT 10:00, DAD."
99800:54:02,800 --> 00:54:05,680WELL, I LEFT THERE,I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM.
99900:54:05,680 --> 00:54:06,520I GOT TO SEE MY BROTHER.
100000:54:06,520 --> 00:54:09,200LAST TIME I EVER SEEN HIMWAS LIKE FIVE MINUTES.
100100:54:09,200 --> 00:54:10,360HE COME OUT OF HIS BEDROOM,
100200:54:10,360 --> 00:54:11,560HE SAID, YOU KNOW,"I LOVE YOU.
100300:54:11,560 --> 00:54:15,480I'LL SEE YOU HERE IN A MINUTEWHEN YOU BRING THE PIZZA BACK."
100400:54:15,480 --> 00:54:16,120[ SNIFFS ]
100500:54:16,120 --> 00:54:19,800I LEFT AND COME BACK UP THERETHAT NEXT MORNING,
100600:54:19,800 --> 00:54:23,200AND I SEEN METHADONE PILLSLAYING ALL OVER THE COUNTER.
100700:54:23,200 --> 00:54:24,320I WAS THINKING, "WHAT THE HELL?"
100800:54:24,320 --> 00:54:26,800'CAUSE DADDY USUALLYKEPT THEM ON HIM --
100900:54:26,800 --> 00:54:28,120THEY WERE LIKE GOLD TO HIM.
101000:54:28,120 --> 00:54:29,160AND THEN I STARTED TIPTOEING.
101100:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,760I WAS GONNA TRY AND GET MEA COUPLE OF THEM.
101200:54:31,760 --> 00:54:32,760I LOOKED AROUND THE CORNER,
101300:54:32,760 --> 00:54:35,040AND MY DAD WAS SITTING THEREAND HE HAD DRIED BLOOD --
101400:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,480IT WAS ALREADY DRIEDDOWN THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD.
101500:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,480I LOOKED AT HIM, I SAID,"WHAT'D YOU DO?
101600:54:39,480 --> 00:54:41,360GET FUCKED UP,FALL AND HIT YOUR HEAD?"
101700:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,120HE NEVER MOVED,AND I LOOKED DOWN --
101800:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,480AND I LOOKED DOWN,AND HE'S LEFT-HANDED.
101900:54:45,480 --> 00:54:46,480HE'S SITTING IN HIS CHAIR --
102000:54:46,480 --> 00:54:48,520HE'S LIKE THIS RIGHT HERE,SITTING IN HIS CHAIR.
102100:54:48,520 --> 00:54:50,840HIS HEAD WAS DOWN,AND HIS HAND WAS LIKE THIS.
102200:54:50,840 --> 00:54:53,040I LOOKED DOWN AND THERE'SA PISTOL LAYING --
102300:54:53,040 --> 00:54:56,080IT WAS MY BROTHER'S PISTOL --WAS LAYING FACING HIM,
102400:54:56,080 --> 00:54:59,120AND I THOUGHT --MY DAMN HEART JUST DROPPED.
102500:54:59,120 --> 00:55:00,520I SAID, "OH, GOD."
102600:55:00,520 --> 00:55:01,360I SAID, "MOM! CHAD!"
102700:55:01,360 --> 00:55:03,720I STARTED YELLING FOR MY MOMAND MY BROTHER,
102800:55:03,720 --> 00:55:05,200AND NOBODY ANSWERED.
102900:55:05,200 --> 00:55:06,440[ COUGHS ]
103000:55:06,440 --> 00:55:08,840BUT ANYWAY,I KNOWED THEY WAS DEAD,
103100:55:08,840 --> 00:55:09,880BUT I HAD TO SEE MYSELF, MAN.
103200:55:09,880 --> 00:55:13,000I WENT TO MY BROTHER'S ROOM,HE WAS LAYING HALF OFF HIS BED.
103300:55:13,000 --> 00:55:16,200HE HAD A BLANKET --DAD HAD PUT A BLANKET ON HIM
103400:55:16,200 --> 00:55:17,280FROM HIS WAIST OVER TOP OF HIM.
103500:55:17,280 --> 00:55:21,560I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH GUTS TOLIFT THE BLANKET OFF OF HIM.
103600:55:21,560 --> 00:55:22,760I KNOWED HE WAS GONE.
103700:55:22,760 --> 00:55:24,160ANYWAY, I LEFT THAT ROOM --
103800:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,320I GUESS I WAS INSUCH A STATE OF SHOCK,
103900:55:26,320 --> 00:55:29,840WHEN I LEFT HIS ROOM,I WENT TO MY MOTHER'S ROOM
104000:55:29,840 --> 00:55:30,840AND -- BLESS HER HEART, MAN.
104100:55:30,840 --> 00:55:35,120SHE HAD MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS.SHE WAS IN REAL BAD SHAPE.
104200:55:35,120 --> 00:55:35,800SHE WAS DYING.
104300:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,200SHE WAS LAYINGIN A FETAL POSITION
104400:55:38,200 --> 00:55:39,080WITH HER HANDS LIKE THIS
104500:55:39,080 --> 00:55:42,080AND HER EYES CLOSEDAND A BLANKET ON HER.
104600:55:42,080 --> 00:55:43,320SHE NEVER KNOWED WHAT HIT HER.
104700:55:43,320 --> 00:55:47,320HE SHOT HER WHILE SHE WASSLEEPING, POINT-BLANK RANGE.
104800:55:47,320 --> 00:55:48,200BUT I GOT IN HER ROOM.
104900:55:48,200 --> 00:55:51,640IT WAS DARK IN THERE.I COULDN'T SEE REAL GOOD.
105000:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,040I STARTED SHAKING HER LEG.
105100:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,320I WAS LIKE,"MOM, MOM, GET UP, MOM."
105200:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,880I SAID, "GET UP, MAMA."SHE NEVER MOVED.
105300:55:57,880 --> 00:55:59,800AND I TURNED THE LIGHT ONIN THE BEDROOM.
105400:55:59,800 --> 00:56:01,840WHEN I TURNED THE LIGHT ONIN THE BEDROOM,
105500:56:01,840 --> 00:56:03,800I SEEN WHERE HE HAD SHOT HERIN THE HEAD.
105600:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,760HER WHOLE PILLOW WAS SATURATEDWITH BLOOD.
105700:56:06,760 --> 00:56:07,360I MEAN...
105800:56:07,360 --> 00:56:09,520AND THE SAD THING ABOUT IT WAS,I LEFT --
105900:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,920I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO --I WAS IN SHOCK.
106000:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,480I LEFT AND I WENT TO THE BOTTOMOF THE DRIVEWAY,
106100:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,800AND WHEN I WENT TO THE BOTTOMOF THE DRIVEWAY --
106200:56:17,800 --> 00:56:18,680THIS WAS JANUARY 31st,
106300:56:18,680 --> 00:56:21,120AND, BROTHER,IT WAS COLD UP HERE.
106400:56:21,120 --> 00:56:21,880I HAD NO SHIRT ON.
106500:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,000I WAS IN A PAIR OF SHORTSAND NO SHOES.
106600:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,200I GUESS I'D FREAKED OUTSO BAD...
106700:56:26,200 --> 00:56:27,120AND THERE'S CARS GOING,
106800:56:27,120 --> 00:56:30,280AND I WAS HOLLERING AND I WASFLAGGING -- "PLEASE STOP!
106900:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,320HELP ME!SOMEBODY STOP, HELP ME!"
107000:56:32,320 --> 00:56:33,280EVERYBODY WAS GOING ON BY.
107100:56:33,280 --> 00:56:36,680THEY THOUGHT I'D WENT CRAZY --A MADMAN OR SOMETHING.
107200:56:36,680 --> 00:56:37,560I TALKED TO PEOPLE LATER.
107300:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,800BUT NOBODY STOPPED,SO I HAD TO GO BACK UP THERE,
107400:56:39,800 --> 00:56:43,240GO BACK IN AND GET THE PHONETHAT WAS SITTING WITH MY DAD.
107500:56:43,240 --> 00:56:45,640I JUST TURNED MY HEADAND I GRABBED THE PHONE,
107600:56:45,640 --> 00:56:48,320AND I NOTICED THEN,WHEN I GRABBED THE PHONE --
107700:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,080YOU KNOW, I HAVE A PICTUREOF MY DAUGHTER UP THERE.
107800:56:51,080 --> 00:56:54,360MY DAD WAS HOLDING A LITTLEWALLET-SIZED PICTURE
107900:56:54,360 --> 00:56:55,560OF HER IN HIS HAND.
108000:56:55,560 --> 00:56:56,800I COME TO FOUND OUT --
108100:56:56,800 --> 00:56:57,680I FOUND OUT THE REASON
108200:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,040HE COVERED MY BROTHER UPWITH THAT BLANKET --
108300:57:00,040 --> 00:57:01,520HE HAD SHOT MY BROTHERIN THE EYE.
108400:57:01,520 --> 00:57:05,200I GUESS HE COULDN'T STAND TOLOOK AND SEE WHAT HE'D DONE.
108500:57:05,200 --> 00:57:07,160HE SHOT MY BROTHER FOUR TIMES,
108600:57:07,160 --> 00:57:10,200AND HE SHOT MY MOTHERTHREE TIMES.
108700:57:10,200 --> 00:57:11,200AND I'M GONNA BE HONEST --
108800:57:11,200 --> 00:57:14,000THIS MIGHT PISS SOME FAMILY OFFOR WHATEVER,
108900:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,560AND THE COPS DON'T KNOWIT EITHER, BUT...
109000:57:16,560 --> 00:57:18,280MY MOM WAS PRESCRIBED OXYS,RIGHT?
109100:57:18,280 --> 00:57:21,160MY BROTHER'D KEEP THEMIN HIS SAFE, AWAY FROM MY DAD.
109200:57:21,160 --> 00:57:24,920WHEN I FOUND MY BABY BROTHERLAYING HALFWAY OFF HIS BED --
109300:57:24,920 --> 00:57:26,920HE WAS SPRAWLED OUTLIKE THIS --
109400:57:26,920 --> 00:57:28,720AND BOTH MY MOM'S SCRIPSWAS LAYING
109500:57:28,720 --> 00:57:31,560AT THE TIPS OF HIS FINGERS,HER SCRIP BOTTLES.
109600:57:31,560 --> 00:57:35,160SO I SUPPOSE THEY GOTIN AN ARGUMENT,
109700:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,560AND HE KILLED THEM OVER IT.
109800:57:37,560 --> 00:57:39,040SO, I GUESS, YOU KNOW...
109900:57:39,040 --> 00:57:44,880I HATE ANYBODY TO LOOK AT MY DADAND SAY THAT HE KILLED MY FAMILY
110000:57:44,880 --> 00:57:46,080OVER PILLS OR WHATEVER,
110100:57:46,080 --> 00:57:49,080BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY DOTO YOU, MAN.
110200:57:49,080 --> 00:57:52,560THEY MADE HIM CRAZY.
110300:57:53,480 --> 00:57:57,200[ SLOW DRUM BEAT ]
110400:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,400[ SOLEMN MUSIC PLAYS ]
110500:58:48,600 --> 00:58:52,080[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]
110601:01:07,400 --> 01:01:10,000-PSALMS 107, VERSE 20 --
110701:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,640"OH GIVE THANKS UNTO THE LORD,FOR HE IS GOOD.
110801:01:13,640 --> 01:01:16,040F-F-FOR HIS MERCY ENDURETHFOREVER."
110901:01:16,040 --> 01:01:21,600THAT'S O-O-ONE OF MY F-FAVORITEPASSAGES IN THE B-BIBLE.
111001:01:21,600 --> 01:01:22,440HE'S MY LIFE.
111101:01:22,440 --> 01:01:28,040I MEAN, I DON'T PRAISENOBODY E-ELSE OR...
111201:01:28,040 --> 01:01:29,760AND I-I THANK HIM EVERY NIGHT --
111301:01:29,760 --> 01:01:32,560NIGHT FOR THAT I LIVEDANOTHER DAY.
111401:01:32,560 --> 01:01:33,720AND NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN,
111501:01:33,720 --> 01:01:37,480I THANK HIM EVERY MORNINGFOR LETTING ME WAKEN,
111601:01:37,480 --> 01:01:38,600'CAUSE I'M NOT PROMISED.
111701:01:38,600 --> 01:01:41,440I H-HANG ON'CAUSE OF TH-THESE TWO.
111801:01:41,440 --> 01:01:45,600I'M N-NOT M-MUCH,BUT I HANG ON FOR THESE T-T-TWO.
111901:01:45,600 --> 01:01:49,240AND I'M GOING TOUNTIL I CAN'T NO MORE.
112001:01:49,240 --> 01:01:54,640-MY EX-HUSBAND KEPT ME ALIVEWHILE I WAS O.D.ing.
112101:01:55,640 --> 01:01:57,560-DID YOU WANT TO DIE?
112201:01:57,560 --> 01:01:58,840-YEAH.
112301:01:58,840 --> 01:01:59,560-WHY?
112401:01:59,560 --> 01:02:03,320-BECAUSE MY KIDSWASN'T IN MY LIFE
112501:02:03,320 --> 01:02:06,760AND I WAS AWAY FROM THEM.
112601:02:06,760 --> 01:02:12,840AND THAT'S WHY I REALLY AMON DRUGS, IS BECAUSE...
112701:02:13,760 --> 01:02:15,520[ SNIFFS ]
112801:02:15,520 --> 01:02:19,520IT'S MY CRUTCH WITH MY KIDS.
112901:02:19,520 --> 01:02:22,400-YEAH, I MEAN, IF YOU ALLHAD JUST ANY --
113001:02:22,400 --> 01:02:27,440LIKE A QUARTER OF THE ADDICTIONTHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH, MAN,
113101:02:27,440 --> 01:02:29,200YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY.
113201:02:29,200 --> 01:02:32,040YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE ASKEDTHAT QUESTION.
113301:02:32,040 --> 01:02:36,840YOU'D STILL BE LIKE, "DAMN,WHY AM I STILL ALIVE TODAY?
113401:02:36,840 --> 01:02:38,320FUCK." YOU KNOW?
113501:02:38,320 --> 01:02:41,800NOBODY'S GOING TO CARE.THIS IS WEST VIRGINIA.
113601:02:41,800 --> 01:02:47,000THEY THINK WE'RE ALL A BUNCHOF IN-BRED PIECES OF SHIT,
113701:02:47,000 --> 01:02:47,720YOU KNOW?
113801:02:47,720 --> 01:02:50,720PEOPLE THAT'S ACTUALLY TRYING,
113901:02:50,720 --> 01:02:54,400YOU KNOW, WE CAN'T GET NOWHERE.
114001:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,800IT...
114101:02:57,800 --> 01:03:00,600IT JUST SUCKS, MAN.
114201:03:00,600 --> 01:03:02,120-[ SNIFFLES ]
114301:03:02,120 --> 01:03:07,480-YOU CAN'T HAVE BEER.YOU WANT YOUR PACI?
114401:03:07,480 --> 01:03:10,440I'M GONNA BE STRAIGHT UP --
114501:03:10,440 --> 01:03:14,280I AM A WHITE GIRL IN THIS WORLDTRYING TO MAKE IT.
114601:03:14,280 --> 01:03:15,120AND THAT'S ALL I AM.
114701:03:15,120 --> 01:03:18,160AND THAT'S ALL I'LL EVER BE,AS FAR AS I SEE IT.
114801:03:18,160 --> 01:03:20,280BUT I WANT BETTERFOR MY YOUNG 'UN.
114901:03:20,280 --> 01:03:23,840IF IT WASN'T FOR MEGETTING HURT,
115001:03:23,840 --> 01:03:24,880I WOULDN'T BE HERE.
115101:03:24,880 --> 01:03:28,800I KNOW FOR A FACTI WOULDN'T BE IN THIS AREA.
115201:03:28,800 --> 01:03:30,120THERE'S NOTHING HERE.
115301:03:30,120 --> 01:03:32,800THERE'S NOTHING HERETO GROW UP ON.
115401:03:32,800 --> 01:03:35,640[ Voice breaking ]I WANT SOMETHING BETTER
115501:03:35,640 --> 01:03:37,720THAN WHAT I GOT.
115601:03:41,400 --> 01:03:47,560I WANT HER TO GROW UP THINKINGTHE WORLD IS HER OYSTER
115701:03:47,560 --> 01:03:52,800AND WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO DO...
115801:03:52,800 --> 01:03:54,480SHE CAN.
115901:03:54,480 --> 01:03:59,720I DON'T WANT HER TO BE LEFT BACKOR LIMITATED
116001:03:59,720 --> 01:04:04,040BECAUSE SHE'S FROMWEST VIRGINIA.
116101:04:08,200 --> 01:04:11,680-I USED TO BE THE MOST LAID-BACKPERSON IN THE WORLD.
116201:04:11,680 --> 01:04:13,920CAREFREE, HUNG OUT --I TELL YOU WHAT,
116301:04:13,920 --> 01:04:16,680I WENT TO MY MOM AND DAD'SEVERY SINGLE DAY.
116401:04:16,680 --> 01:04:19,280THEY JUST LIVED TWO MINUTESFROM HERE.
116501:04:19,280 --> 01:04:21,880I'D WALK UP THEREOR DRIVE UP THERE
116601:04:21,880 --> 01:04:24,000AND SEE THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY.
116701:04:24,000 --> 01:04:25,320I WAS A VERY HAPPY PERSON.
116801:04:25,320 --> 01:04:30,080AND THAT HAPPENED,AND...I'M NOT HAPPY, MAN.
116901:04:30,080 --> 01:04:34,920HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPYWHEN YOU LOST...
117001:04:34,920 --> 01:04:38,320WHEN YOU LOST EVERYTHING,YOU KNOW?
117101:04:38,320 --> 01:04:40,280I'M NOT FUCKING HAPPY.
117201:04:40,280 --> 01:04:42,120I SIT UP HERE BY MYSELF,
117301:04:42,120 --> 01:04:44,440I SIT AND LOOK AT THEM PICTURES
117401:04:44,440 --> 01:04:47,640AND JUST SITAND DWELL ON THE SHIT,
117501:04:47,640 --> 01:04:51,320THINK ABOUT WHAT ALL DRUGSIS DOING.
117601:04:51,320 --> 01:04:53,040-IT IS A STRUGGLE.
117701:04:53,040 --> 01:04:55,000IT'S LIKE AN ALCOHOLIC --
117801:04:55,000 --> 01:04:57,920EVERY TIME HE PASSESTHAT BEER COOLER,
117901:04:57,920 --> 01:05:00,360HE THINKS,"BOY, THEM TASTED GOOD."
118001:05:00,360 --> 01:05:03,480WELL, EVERY TIME I SEESOMEBODY DOING DOPE,
118101:05:03,480 --> 01:05:07,800I THINK, "BOY, I REMEMBERTHE RUSH I GOT OFF THAT,"
118201:05:07,800 --> 01:05:09,560BUT I BLOCK IT OUT.
118301:05:09,560 --> 01:05:11,200YOU KNOW.
118401:05:11,200 --> 01:05:13,040-I'D LOVE TO GOTHROUGH THIS PROGRAM
118501:05:13,040 --> 01:05:15,400AND HAVE MY KIDAND JUST HAVE A NORMAL LIFE.
118601:05:15,400 --> 01:05:17,640LIKE, EVEN IF I GOT TO WORKAT McDONALD'S
118701:05:17,640 --> 01:05:20,400OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT,JUST, YOU KNOW...
118801:05:20,400 --> 01:05:21,240JUST A NORMAL LIFE,
118901:05:21,240 --> 01:05:22,840LIKE, I DON'T HAVE TO WORRYABOUT DOPE.
119001:05:22,840 --> 01:05:25,600IT'S JUST, LIVING IN THIS AREA,IT'S EVERYWHERE.
119101:05:25,600 --> 01:05:27,560-CAN YOU HAVEA NORMAL LIFE HERE?
119201:05:27,560 --> 01:05:32,320-NO. NO.IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
119301:05:32,320 --> 01:05:35,000IT'S IN YOUR FACEEVERYWHERE YOU GO.
119401:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,400I HOPE EVERY DAY MY KIDDON'T WANT TO --
119501:05:37,400 --> 01:05:40,480I DON'T WANT MY KIDTO GO THROUGH THIS.
119601:05:40,480 --> 01:05:41,880AT ALL. AT ALL.
119701:05:41,880 --> 01:05:45,080I WOULD NEVER WISH THISON ANYBODY.
119801:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,560I WOULD NOT WISH THISON ANYBODY.
119901:05:47,560 --> 01:05:52,720-I WISH EVERYBODY COULD, YOUKNOW, HAVE THE SAME MIND-SET,
120001:05:52,720 --> 01:05:57,200THAT, YOU KNOW -- HAVE A GOOD,HAPPY, CLEAN LIFE, YOU KNOW,
120101:05:57,200 --> 01:06:02,240NOT NEED STUFF LIKE THAT,BUT...IT'S JUST NOT THAT WAY.
120201:06:02,240 --> 01:06:03,800AND [SIGHS]
120301:06:03,800 --> 01:06:07,400IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN,'CAUSE THEY'RE JUST...
120401:06:07,400 --> 01:06:11,160THERE'S NO SAVINGSOME OF THESE PEOPLE.
120501:06:11,160 --> 01:06:13,160-I HAVE TO TELL MY KIDSALL THE TIME,
120601:06:13,160 --> 01:06:16,920"LOOK, A LOT OF THE STUFFTHAT HAPPENS HERE IS NOT...
120701:06:16,920 --> 01:06:17,800"IT'S JUST NOT NORMAL.
120801:06:17,800 --> 01:06:20,840THAT'S NOT THE WAY THAT IT ISIN A LOT OF OTHER PLACES."
120901:06:20,840 --> 01:06:23,360AND SOMETIMES YOU GET SCAREDAND FRUSTRATED,
121001:06:23,360 --> 01:06:25,880AND YOU SAY, "MAN, I JUSTWANT TO GET OUT OF HERE."
121101:06:25,880 --> 01:06:30,920I'D JUST LIKE TO TAKE MY KIDSAND GET OUT OF HERE, BUT...
121201:06:39,000 --> 01:06:43,040[ Voice breaking ]BUT I LOVE THIS PLACE.
121301:06:43,040 --> 01:06:44,760I LOVE THE PEOPLE HERE.
121401:06:44,760 --> 01:06:49,480AND, YES,I DON'T HAVE SOLUTIONS --
121501:06:49,480 --> 01:06:52,560I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
121601:06:52,560 --> 01:06:54,600-[ SNIFFS ]
121701:06:54,600 --> 01:06:57,200IT'S LIKE,HE DIDN'T KILL ME THAT DAY,
121801:06:57,200 --> 01:06:59,640BUT HE DID,YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
121901:06:59,640 --> 01:07:01,640I FEEL...TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,
122001:07:01,640 --> 01:07:05,040I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST WAITINGFOR MY TURN.
122101:07:05,040 --> 01:07:05,800AND I FEEL LIKE --
122201:07:05,800 --> 01:07:07,280I DON'T KNOWIF Y'ALL ARE ATHEIST
122301:07:07,280 --> 01:07:11,360OR BELIEVE IN GOD OR WHATEVER,BUT I BELIEVE WHEN I GO THAT...
122401:07:11,360 --> 01:07:14,440IF THERE'S A HELL,I KNOW MY DAD'S THERE.
122501:07:14,440 --> 01:07:15,360BUT I BELIEVE WHEN I GO
122601:07:15,360 --> 01:07:19,040THAT MY MOM AND MY BROTHERWILL BE WAITING THERE ON ME.
122701:07:19,040 --> 01:07:21,000SOMETIMES THAT'S WHAT I WANT.
122801:07:21,000 --> 01:07:24,720I'M NOT SUICIDAL.I'LL NEVER KILL MYSELF.
122901:07:24,720 --> 01:07:26,440I'M SCARED TO DEATH OF DYING,
123001:07:26,440 --> 01:07:30,920BUT I FEEL LIKE THE SOULGOT SUCKED OUT OF ME THAT DAY,
123101:07:30,920 --> 01:07:32,360I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
123201:07:32,360 --> 01:07:34,600I JUST...I DON'T KNOW.
123301:07:34,600 --> 01:07:37,400I'M DYING TO SNIFF SOMERIGHT NOW.
123401:07:37,400 --> 01:07:42,760-THE ONLY THING I KNOW IS THEIRWAR ON DRUGS AIN'T WORKING.
123501:07:42,760 --> 01:07:43,560AT ALL.
123601:07:43,560 --> 01:07:46,640THEY NEEDA TOTALLY NEW APPROACH.
123701:07:46,640 --> 01:07:49,320WE'RE SPENDING BILLIONSOF DOLLARS,
123801:07:49,320 --> 01:07:52,320AND WHAT ARE WE GETTINGOUT OF IT?
123901:07:52,320 --> 01:07:53,240JUST MORE PROBLEMS.
124001:07:53,240 --> 01:07:58,240-DID YOU SEE JASONWHEN HE WAS TINY?
124101:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,680RIGHT HERE.LITTLE GUY.
124201:08:00,680 --> 01:08:01,600-[ CHUCKLES ]
124301:08:01,600 --> 01:08:05,160-AT ONE TIME,HE WAS A LITTLE GUY.
124401:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,400I DON'T DO ANYTHING.
124501:08:09,400 --> 01:08:13,680I TAKE MY PLAVIXAND A BLOOD-PRESSURE PILL.
124601:08:13,680 --> 01:08:16,640THAT'S IT.THAT'S ALL I TAKE.
124701:08:16,640 --> 01:08:19,840AND I TELL THEM,WHEN THEY'RE LIKE,
124801:08:19,840 --> 01:08:21,840"MY KNEES ARE HURTING,"
124901:08:21,840 --> 01:08:23,280"TAKE AN ALEVE.
125001:08:23,280 --> 01:08:24,600TAKE A TYLENOL."
125101:08:24,600 --> 01:08:25,400-IT DON'T CUT IT.
125201:08:25,400 --> 01:08:27,240-IT SHOULD.THAT'S IN YOUR HEAD.
125301:08:27,240 --> 01:08:29,840-NOT WHEN YOU BEENON STUFF FOR YEARS.
125401:08:29,840 --> 01:08:31,080-STILL, IT'S IN YOUR HEAD.
125501:08:31,080 --> 01:08:33,040-BUILD A TOLERANCETO THAT STUFF,
125601:08:33,040 --> 01:08:35,280AND THE LITTLE STUFFDON'T CUT IT.
125701:08:35,280 --> 01:08:36,640-WELL, BUT IF YOU WENT TO REHAB
125801:08:36,640 --> 01:08:39,640AND GOT EDUCATEDON YOUR DISEASE...
125901:08:39,640 --> 01:08:41,600-I KNOW MY STUFF.
126001:08:41,600 --> 01:08:45,040-I THINK JASONIS A BINGE ADDICT.
126101:08:45,040 --> 01:08:47,880I DON'T THINK HE DOES ITEVERY DAY.
126201:08:47,880 --> 01:08:52,240BUT IF HE'S GOT MONEY,HE'LL DO IT.
126301:08:52,240 --> 01:08:55,480'CAUSE HE DOES --HE BINGES A LOT.
126401:08:55,480 --> 01:08:57,200THAT'S WHAT REALLY SCARES ME.
126501:08:57,200 --> 01:09:02,880'CAUSE BINGE ADDICTS ARE MORELIKELY TO DIE OF AN OVERDOSE.
126601:09:02,880 --> 01:09:07,600-I HATE THE IDEAI HURT MY FAMILY.
126701:09:14,760 --> 01:09:16,360[ SNIFFLES ]
126801:09:16,360 --> 01:09:18,320BUT IF I COULD HELP IT...
126901:09:18,320 --> 01:09:21,840[ MUMBLES ]
127001:09:21,840 --> 01:09:23,480I WOULD FEEL NORMAL.
127101:09:23,480 --> 01:09:26,360[ CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES ]
127201:09:29,640 --> 01:09:33,800-I TOLD YOUI'D TAKE YOU TO REHAB.
127301:09:35,320 --> 01:09:38,000I TOLD YOUI'D GET YOU IN A REHAB.
127401:09:38,000 --> 01:09:41,840I CAN'T AFFORDTHE METHADONE CLINIC, JASON,
127501:09:41,840 --> 01:09:45,000BUT I'LL GET YOU INTO REHAB.
127601:09:49,320 --> 01:09:52,600-[ SNIFFLES ]
127701:09:52,600 --> 01:09:55,760THAT'S A LOT OF YEARSSAID AND DONE.
127801:09:55,760 --> 01:09:57,680[ CHUCKLES ]
127901:09:59,840 --> 01:10:00,800[ SNIFFLES ]
128001:10:00,800 --> 01:10:03,040-WELL, YOU'RE GONNAHAVE TO, BABY,
128101:10:03,040 --> 01:10:09,040OR SOMEBODY ELSE IS GONNA END UPRAISING THAT CHILD FOR YOU.
128201:10:11,400 --> 01:10:12,800-DON'T PISS ME OFF.
128301:10:12,800 --> 01:10:15,360-WELL, BABY,NOBODY CAN DO IT BUT YOU.
128401:10:15,360 --> 01:10:21,640'CAUSE IF I COULD DO IT FOR YOU,IT'D BEEN DONE.
128501:10:25,160 --> 01:10:30,840-IF I COULD QUIT TODAY, I WOULD,BUT IT AIN'T THAT SIMPLE.
128601:10:33,280 --> 01:10:35,480I'LL GET IT WORKED OUT.
128701:10:35,480 --> 01:10:38,480I ALWAYS SEEM TO, SOMEHOW.[ SNIFFS ]
128801:10:38,480 --> 01:10:41,000-WELL, FOR NOW.
128901:10:41,000 --> 01:10:44,640-FOR NOW.FOR NOW WORKS.
129001:10:44,640 --> 01:10:49,360-WELL, LIKE I SAID,I'LL TAKE YOU TO A REHAB.
129101:10:49,360 --> 01:10:50,800-[ SPITS, MUMBLES ]
129201:10:50,800 --> 01:10:53,400I'LL BUY YOUR CIGARETTESWHILE YOU'RE THERE,
129301:10:53,400 --> 01:10:57,040I'LL GET YOU UNDERWEAR,SOCKS, WHATEVER YOU NEED.
129401:10:57,040 --> 01:10:59,120PAJAMAS -- WHATEVER.
129501:11:02,440 --> 01:11:06,040BUT I CAN'T DO IT FOR YOU.
129601:11:11,560 --> 01:11:16,440-I GET BUSTED AGAIN,I GET 15 TO LIFE.
129701:11:16,440 --> 01:11:18,160-DO YOU CARE?
129801:11:18,160 --> 01:11:19,280-YEAH, I CARE.
129901:11:19,280 --> 01:11:20,600WHAT KIND OF DAD WOULD I BE,
130001:11:20,600 --> 01:11:23,240SITTING UP THERETALKING TO MY DAUGHTER
130101:11:23,240 --> 01:11:24,800BEHIND THE GLASS, YOU KNOW?
130201:11:24,800 --> 01:11:26,120I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH --
130301:11:26,120 --> 01:11:28,720YOU MIGHT THINKI'M CRAZY, BUT...
130401:11:28,720 --> 01:11:31,480[ SNORTS ]
130501:11:31,480 --> 01:11:34,200I'M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL.
130601:11:34,200 --> 01:11:36,560I'M NOT.THEY'LL HAVE TO KILL ME.
130701:11:36,560 --> 01:11:38,600I'M JUST NOT GOING BACK.I DONE MY TIME.
130801:11:38,600 --> 01:11:41,600I'M NOT GOING BACK.THEY'LL HAVE TO KILL ME.
130901:11:41,600 --> 01:11:42,320I PROMISE YOU.
131001:11:42,320 --> 01:11:44,080YOU MIGHT EVEN HEAR ABOUT ITON THE NEWS.
131101:11:44,080 --> 01:11:46,800THEM MOTHERFUCKERSCOME AFTER ME,
131201:11:46,800 --> 01:11:49,360I BET YOU THIS --
131301:11:49,360 --> 01:11:51,120THEY'RE IN FOR A RUDE AWAKENING,
131401:11:51,120 --> 01:11:54,480'CAUSE I'M NOTFUCKING GOING BACK.
131501:11:54,480 --> 01:11:57,920-"BEHIND MY BROWN EYES,YOU SEE ONLY TEARS.
131601:11:57,920 --> 01:12:01,600"ONLY IF YOU LOOK CLOSER,YOU CAN REVERE MY FEARS.
131701:12:01,600 --> 01:12:04,320"IF YOU LOOK AT MY ARMSUNDER MY SHIRT,
131801:12:04,320 --> 01:12:08,280"ALL YOU SEE IS CUTSAND WONDER HOW MUCH IT HURTS.
131901:12:08,280 --> 01:12:10,480"I'M TORN FROM ONE PLACETO ANOTHER.
132001:12:10,480 --> 01:12:14,160"WHY IS THAT ONLY THE ONETHAT LOVES ME IS MY MOTHER?
132101:12:14,160 --> 01:12:16,840"WHY MUST MY DAD HAVE LEFTTHIS LIFE SO SHORT?
132201:12:16,840 --> 01:12:20,440"MAKE ME WONDER IF I WOULD HAVEEVER WINDED UP IN COURT.
132301:12:20,440 --> 01:12:23,320"AS I LAY HERE,JUST THINKING OF THE DAYS,
132401:12:23,320 --> 01:12:27,880"HOW COULD I HAVE DONE SUCH AGOOD JOB OF PISSING THEM AWAY?
132501:12:27,880 --> 01:12:30,920"I LIKE TO LOOK AT ITAS MY JOURNEY JUST BEGINNING,
132601:12:30,920 --> 01:12:35,800BUT WHY DOES EVERY DAY SEEMLIKE IT'S JUST AN ENDING?"
132701:13:23,560 --> 01:13:27,560[ WHISTLING ]
132801:14:23,400 --> 01:14:30,680♪ DOWN IN THE WILLOW GARDEN,
132901:14:30,680 --> 01:14:38,040♪ WELL, ME AND MY LOVEDID MEET ♪
133001:14:38,040 --> 01:14:45,640♪ AS WE SAT A-COURTING ♪
133101:14:45,640 --> 01:14:52,320♪ MY LOVE FELL OFF TO SLEEP ♪
133201:14:52,320 --> 01:15:00,920♪ I HAD A BOTTLEOF BURGUNDY WINE ♪
133301:15:00,920 --> 01:15:07,720♪ MY LOVE SHE DID NOT KNOW ♪
133401:15:07,720 --> 01:15:16,720♪ SO, I POISONEDTHAT DEAR LITTLE GIRL ♪
133501:15:16,720 --> 01:15:22,840♪ ON THE BANKS BELOW ♪
133601:15:22,840 --> 01:15:31,320♪ I DREW A SABER THROUGH HER ♪
133701:15:31,320 --> 01:15:38,040♪ IT WAS A BLOODY KNIFE ♪
133801:15:38,040 --> 01:15:46,440♪ I THREW HER IN THE RIVER ♪
133901:15:46,440 --> 01:15:52,840♪ IT WAS A DREADFUL SIGHT ♪
134001:15:52,840 --> 01:16:01,040♪ MY FATHER OFTEN TOLD ME ♪
134101:16:01,040 --> 01:16:07,880♪ THAT MONEYWOULD SET ME FREE ♪
134201:16:07,880 --> 01:16:16,480♪ IF I WOULD MURDERTHAT DEAR LITTLE GIRL ♪
134301:16:16,480 --> 01:16:23,000♪ WHOSE NAME WAS ROSE CONNELLY ♪
134401:16:23,000 --> 01:16:32,080♪ MY FATHER SITSAT HIS CABIN DOOR ♪
134501:16:32,080 --> 01:16:38,640♪ WIPING HIS TEAR-DIMMED EYES ♪
134601:16:38,640 --> 01:16:42,880♪ FOR HIS ONLY SON ♪
134701:16:42,880 --> 01:16:47,160♪ SOON SHALL WALK ♪
134801:16:47,160 --> 01:16:53,480♪ TO YONDER SCAFFOLD HIGH ♪
134901:16:53,480 --> 01:17:01,720♪ MY RACE IS RUNBENEATH THE SUN ♪
135001:17:01,720 --> 01:17:08,720♪ THE SCAFFOLDNOW WAITS FOR ME ♪
135101:17:08,720 --> 01:17:17,240♪ FOR I DID MURDERTHAT DEAR LITTLE GIRL ♪
135201:17:17,240 --> 01:17:24,520♪ WHOSE NAME WAS ROSE CONNELLY ♪