Language

Start

End

Dialogue

English

00:00:05

00:00:17

I never saw a picture of my mum and I constantly as a young boy always asked can I see my mum can I see what she looks like so I can only dream about what my mum looks like.

00:00:20

00:00:25

My name is Oggi Tomic and I suppose when I come to think about it I didn't get the best start in life.

00:00:26

00:00:30

In 1985 I was born with water on the brain and wasn't expected to recover.

00:00:33

00:00:37

I was abandoned by my mother and spent the rest of my childhood in orphanages.

00:00:38

00:00:51

When I was 9, war came to my city of Sarajevo which then endured the longest siege of modern day history and survival took on a new meaning as my city was surrounded and shelled by hard line Bosnian Serbs.

00:00:52

00:00:55

At the time I was too young to realise what was going on.

00:00:59

00:01:03

Looking back now I can't believe how I've survived and how my life has panned out.

00:01:05

00:01:15

But my past continues to haunt me - not just the war by my experiences in the Orphanages. Now 27 years on my long lost family have finally got in touch.

00:01:16

00:01:17

There's just one thing.

00:01:20

00:01:27

It turns out that some members of my family could actually have been amongst those shooting at me during the siege of Sarajevo

00:01:32

00:01:34

So I'm heading back to Bosnia in search of answers.

00:01:35

00:01:36

To retrace my steps

00:01:40

00:01:42

Could it be that this is the place I grew up at?

Bosnian

00:01:43

00:01:44

Kemal: Good afternoon.

00:01:44

00:01:44

Oggi: Good afternoon

00:01:46

00:01:46

Kemal: Is it Oggi Tomic?

00:01:46

00:01:46

Oggi: Yes, that's me

00:01:47

00:01:48

Kemal: You surely don't remember me?

English

00:01:49

00:01:55

Oggi: This guy remember me a baby - it's just unbelievable!

00:01:55

00:01:59

Was I really here? I must be some kind of miracle

00:02:00

00:02:01

I'm going back to face my fears

00:02:02

00:02:08

I feel like almost like you know when you want to faint and like before an exam or something

00:02:09

00:02:10

And finally meet my family

Bosnian

00:02:17

00:02:21

Pedrag: I was defending the Rpublika Srbska. Defending my country, my people of course.

English

00:02:21

00:02:22

Oggi: I just can't handle this.

Bosnian

00:02:23

00:02:30

Gran: I've always asked for you. Whoever lied to you, lied to you.

Bosnian

00:02:32

00:02:33

Oggi: Just leave it!

English

00:02:42

00:03:25

My family, eh Tomic family, got in touch in 2010 after I had a few articles published in the Bosnian newspapers basically saying, looking for his family', and then a lot of people started getting in touch. I started getting phone calls from my uncles, from my aunts, from my cousins, sisters as well, all saying you know, we're your family, etc etc. And apparently that none of them knew about me until that point, they all thought that I was dead or missing

00:03:28

00:03:47

Growing up as an orphan identity was never really an issue. It didn't matter who you were or where you came from - we'd all been abandoned at the end of the day. It wasn't until I started speaking to the Tomics and looking online that I realised just who they were and what they stood for. I couldn't believe it.

00:03:50

00:04:00

Aggie: It bothers him a lot everything about his past and not knowing like where actually he's from and if he's Serbian or Bosnia - it's just not fair.

00:04:03

00:04:05

Oggi: (Groan) Fucking hell! (Groan)

00:04:05

00:04:10

Aggie: I've said to him that you have to expect like anything you never know how you're going to react

00:04:13

00:04:13

Aggie: Aw!

00:04:15

00:04:15

Oggi: I give you a hug!

00:04:18

00:04:19

Oggi: It's okay, there you go

00:04:23

00:04:36

Aggie: I'm only worried about one thing that you know if he doesn't meet his mother because that's the biggest reason you know of this journey you know finding family

00:04:37

00:04:40

Oggi: Bye bye ...yeah?

00:04:48

00:05:15

My biggest fear is walking up you know that path and knocking on the door and I'm not sure what their reaction will be. The whole purpose of the journey is to meet my mother who's got 4 daughters who are all younger than I am and she didn't abandon any of them daughters but she left me.

00:05:24

00:05:30

Captain: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Sarajevo. I kindly ask you to remain seated keep your seatbelts fastened until the seatbelt sign has been switched off.

00:05:38

00:06:02

Oggi: Now that I'm back in Sarajevo it feels good to see the city that I love being rebuilt and being a normal city that it should be. I love this city with all my heart and I always will and I will always be a proud Bosnian and proud Sarajevoan. It feels really really nice to see that effort is being put in to make it shine.

00:06:23

00:06:36

Before I meet my family I'm going back to the institutions where I spent my childhood. I was born with a serious illness and yet I have no medical records or information about what was wrong with me.

00:06:39

00:06:54

We're now on our way to Fojnica eh the first orphanage slash hospital where I was apparently left by my mother.

00:06:58

00:07:10

We've been driving for ages - it's like (laughs) no wonder my mother didn't visit me look how far this place is!

00:07:19

00:07:26

Could it be that this is the place I grew up at? I don't remember any of this. And this is the...

Bosnian

00:07:27

00:07:28

Kemal: Good afternoon

00:07:28

00:07:29

Oggi: Good afternoon

00:07:29

00:07:30

Kemal: Is it Ognjen Tomic?

00:07:30

00:07:31

Oggi: Yes, that's me.

00:07:31

00:07:36

Kemal: You surely don't remember me? I held you in my arms. You were a baby of 2 or 3 months old.

00:07:37

00:07:38

Oggi: Really? You're joking me!

00:07:39

00:07:44

Kemal: And now, I've still got a mental image in my mind. When you were brought from the delivery room, I held you in my arms.

00:07:44

00:07:45

Oggi: Yeah

00:07:45

00:07:49

Kemal: You were cute and nice - you were a cuddler.

English

00:07:53

00:07:59

Oggi: This guy remember me a baby - it's just unbelievable!

Bosnian

00:08:01

00:08:05

Oggi: Can you tell me how I ended up here?

00:08:06

00:08:11

Kemal: I know how you got here, but it may come as a shock to you.

00:08:12

00:08:13

Oggi: Try me

00:08:13

00:08:23

Kemal: Your mother gave birth to you and then left you. I think your mother was from Olovo.

00:08:23

00:08:25

Oggi: And did she leave me in the delivery room?

00:08:25

00:08:30

Kemal: In the delivery room. The social worker called us as they had no place to put you. I don't know if it's shock for you

00:08:31

00:08:38

Oggi: It is, believe me, you're the first person to answer these questions for me.

00:08:38

00:08:44

Kemal: There, this all my information and it might not be 100% but that's how the story went.

00:08:45

00:08:47

Oggi: But she didn't leave me here in this place?

00:08:47

00:08:51

Kemal: No, in the maternity, you came here from the maternity.

00:08:52

00:08:56

Oggi: Do you know has anybody from the family visited me?

00:08:59

00:09:00

Oggi: No one?

00:09:00

00:09:01

Kemal: Not that I'm aware of.

English

00:09:04

00:09:14

Oggi: There are more than double the number of kids abandoned in state institutions now than when I was younger during the war. This institution is home to over 500 children and adults.

Bosnian:

00:09:15

00:09:19

Kemal: there, can you remember some details now?

00:09:20

00:09:22

Oggi: I think this was my room right here?

00:09:22

00:09:23

Kemal: Yes.

00:09:24

00:09:28

Oggi: Wait, my bed was in the corner on the right hand side?

00:09:29

00:09:31

Kemal: On the right side in the corner, yes.

00:09:31

00:09:32

Oggi: Over here?

00:09:32

00:09:35

Kemal: Here is where you would have slept. But it was not these little beds.

00:09:35

00:09:36

Oggi: They were metallic beds?

00:09:36

00:09:38

Kemal: Yes, metallic.

00:09:38

00:09:40

Kemal: Look at these little snowflakes

00:09:40

00:09:43

Oggi: So is this where I would have slept?

00:09:43

00:09:45

Kemal: This is where your little bed was.

00:09:45

00:09:48

Oggi: Even the smell of the room I can remember...

00:09:48

00:09:53

Kemal: Uh huh. Look at this little snowflake here I love her something terrible. What am I going to do with this snowflake?

00:09:53

00:09:55

Oggi: Hello. And what is the problem with her?

00:09:56

00:10:07

Kemal: She has strong epileptic seizures and as you can see there is slight microcephalus. As you can see, her head is only smaller.

00:10:07

00:10:11

Oggi: Hello, hello.

00:10:11

00:10:13

Kemal: She can't speak, she can't eat on her own.

00:10:14

00:10:15

Oggi: How old is she?

00:10:15

00:10:18

Kemal: Roughly 6 or 7

00:10:21

00:10:25

Oggi: What was my condition when I arrived here?

00:10:25

00:10:41

Kemal: Baby, like a baby. The head was slightly big for a baby of that age, which was indicating whether it was hydrocephalous or this or that, and then tests were done and it showed everything was OK.

00:10:42

00:10:50

Oggi: Because I've got 2 huge scars on my head, see here and here and I don't know what they're from.

00:10:50

00:10:56

Kemal: Most likely from when you were over there. They did a surgery while you were a baby.

00:10:56

00:11:03

Oggi: Because they told me only until recently as a baby I was not likely to make a recovery.

00:11:03

00:11:12

Kemal: It was indicating that it was hydroceaphalus, perhaps it was. I don't know whether you're familiar with what this is?

00:11:12

00:11:15

Oggi: I don't know exactly, what it is. Water in the head?

00:11:15

00:11:25

Kemal: Water, actually liquid in the head, and they have to remove it somehow. Luckily there was no damage to the brain.

00:11:35

00:11:51

Kemal: This is where we keep the records. You should be in here somewhere... let me see... We should have a coffee then I might get some ideas about the past. Here we go. Tomic Ognjen born 24^th January 1985 in Sarajevo.

English:

00:11:53

00:12:12

Oggi: I mean it says that I'm okay to be put in with normal kids that I didn't belong here um that I should you know go school and be a normal child and by me being put here I did not belong here you know I was fine, I was normal

00:12:14

00:12:46

I feel really furious now I do not want to meet my mother I really don't I'm not being funny here that women better not come across my path. How the? How can you leave me and a person who is you know a medical professional says nothing's been wrong with me apart from the fact that I've had this condition which was dealt with and she just left behind - what a bitch!

00:12:48

00:13:08

Maybe I wasn't worth it. Maybe 4 daughters that she has now are the only things she ever - I don't know. No way she would know, no one could know. You have to be here, you have to see the state and place of this where these kids are to actually believe it.

00:13:24

00:13:43

One person who did take care of me when I was younger was a lady called Anka. She was a nurse at the first orphanage I grew up in and used to take me home at the weekends. She was like the mother I never had. Her home was destroyed during the war but I've finally managed to track her down.

Bosnian:

00:13:46

00:13:48

Hello Anka. How are you?

00:13:58

00:13:59

Anka: This is my sister.

00:14:00

00:14:03

Oggi's sister: I also remember you from before.

00:14:04

00:14:06

Oggi: Don't cry...let it be.

00:14:08

00:14:09

Mladen: It's emotional for her. I'm Mladen.

00:14:10

00:14:11

Oggi: Hi Mladen. How you doing?

00:14:12

00:14:16

Oggi: There, please don't cry. I am alive and here - look!

00:14:17

00:14:18

Anka: I don't believe it...

00:14:18

00:14:20

Oggi: I even remembered you after all these years.

00:14:21

00:14:22

Anka: Really?

00:14:22

00:14:25

Oggi: How could I not? How could I not?

00:14:25

00:14:26

Anka's sister: I sent you this I think?

00:14:26

00:14:27

Oggi: Yes you did.

00:14:28

00:14:30

Anka: My brother in Austria sent me it.

00:14:30

00:14:31

Oggi: Ah!

00:14:32

00:14:34

Anka: You were such a little boy.

00:14:35

00:14:40

Oggi: I remember it well, look at me! And who's this?

00:14:40

00:14:43

Anka: My own child. Do you remember him, he was disabled?

00:14:43

00:14:44

Oggi: Now I remember.

00:14:46

00:14:47

Oggi: How old is Veco now?

00:14:47

00:14:48

Anka: Twenty nine.

00:14:48

00:14:49

Oggi: Twenty nine?

00:14:51

00:14:52

Anka: He is only two years only than you.

00:14:57

00:14:58

Oggi: So he was

00:14:58

00:15:00

Anka: You don't remember him do you?

00:15:00

00:15:17

Oggi: I remember a bit, seriously. I remember that you had some children. I mean that you had a child. I always thought that since I was coming here that he was part of my family, right, what do I know?

00:15:18

00:15:30

Anka: My Veco, here someone has come to see you... Veco, Veco. Tell him you were really ill and you had your tummy operated on.

00:15:31

00:15:32

Oggi: Oh dear

00:15:32

00:15:36

Anka: Quite a lot of things are affecting me, but we're surviving, we're doing alright.

00:15:37

00:15:42

Oggi: How is it that you had him to care for and you were bringing me how as well?

00:15:42

00:15:50

Anka: What can I say? You were nice and... I don't know... Because you were so little when you arrived and we fell in love with you, you know, just like that.

00:15:51

00:15:57

Oggi: But there were, I heard, thousands of children. Why did you pick me?

00:15:57

00:16:18

Anka: I don't know, really. Perhaps you said something to me. When you arrived you were perhaps the smallest. I think you were three months old, and from the first day we fell in love with you. And when you started to walk and talk and so on, we found it incredible.

00:16:19

00:16:32

Oggi: I remember well, also because I thought and I think even today it means a lot to me, since I thought you were my mum and Ivica my dad.

00:16:33

00:16:40

Anka: You were always saying "Be my Mum and you be my Dad." Ivo would feel a tug and said: "Don't bring him anymore, it's hard for me."

00:16:42

00:16:45

Oggi: And did you ever wonder what happened to me when I left?

00:16:45

00:16:58

Anka: We were all thinking when you started walking and talking that you were a healthy child, we didn't think you were ill. We always wondered why you were placed there.

00:16:59

00:17:06

Oggi: And do you know when I was in the Zenica home. What was I like? Did I look happy and OK? Or unhappy?

00:17:07

00:17:35

Anka: First time I was there, your leg was in plaster and I asked one little girl, "Is he OK?" She said "Yes". I said "Look after him." She said "I will".... I felt really sad. The second time, I got my husband and said "Let's go." When we arrived you were crying, and we were crying too. And my husband said "Don't go anymore, it's only making it worse." And I never went again.

English:

00:17:50

00:17:56

Oggi: Just as I thought, it's been great to see Anka after all these years and fill in the missing gaps of my childhood.

00:17:57

00:18:05

Anka: I know, when you arrived at three months old, you had bandages on your head. Your ears had grown over, we had to give you a bath right away. And clean you up. He was just a little baby.

00:18:11

00:18:17

Anka: She came to visit you. She dreamt about a little boy with glasses and you wore glasses. She said she had come to see you.

00:18:18

00:18:19

Oggi: Your mother or my mother?

00:18:20

00:18:21

Anka: Your mother.

00:18:21

00:18:22

Oggi: Came to visit me in Drin?

00:18:23

00:18:25

Anka: Yes. Once and never again.

00:18:29

00:18:41

Ivica: She was just looking at you. She said, "I've got a man, he doesn't know about you." You know, that she had you. That she had two children, but she always dreamt of you and wanted to see you.

00:18:41

00:18:43

Anka: That's what she said, she dreamt of a boy with glasses.

00:18:42

00:18:48

Ivica: That she had two children but she always dreamt of you and wanted to see you. I don't know whether you had any contact after?

00:18:49

00:19:00

Oggi: Never, nothing, not when I was in Drink, Zenica or the homes in Sarajevo.

English:

00:19:03

00:19:25

Genuinely it doesn't make any difference whatsoever the fact my mother came to visit me at least I don't feel like that now. Honestly at this moment in time I don't think my mother will ever become my mother you know I just have to live with that and that's fine with me you know so she will not become my mother just because I've found her.

00:19:30

00:19:40

At the age of 6 I was moved to another orphanage. This was the last time I would see Anka and there would be no one taking me home at the weekend or caring for me.

00:19:42

00:19:51

From here on, my life was a living hell. It was like being abandoned all over again but this time I was old enough to know what was happening.

00:19:51

00:20:03

I can actually see it in the distance and I don't really want drive down that road but I can so remember all of this like it was yesterday and not 20 years ago.

00:20:08

00:20:20

I feel like almost like you know when you want to faint and like before an exam or something I don't know what you can compare it and this is really that kind of feeling.

00:20:24

00:20:44

I lived in a flat with twelve other kids you know I was bullied and beaten by older orphans for not doing you know small tasks like cleaning the place on my own or going buying them cigarettes or you know answering them back you know about something that I disagreed with

00:20:48

00:20:54

Before I came to Bosnia I put in a request to film and meet the director but they denied me access.

00:20:55

00:20:14

They're refusing to say you know what's happened to me which is understandable because staff and changed from back then some other people are working now so obviously no one will remember me. So obviously they will find it quite disturbing or unfair that I'm talking about the place in a bad light.

00:20:15

00:21:34

But any kind of bullying and any kind of beating when you are young, it leaves a big effect on your life in the future. But it would be nice to get a hold of my documents which tells more about me, more about my past, probably a lot about my mother, a lot about my family background - everything.

00:21:35

00:21:41

We're just down what 200m and it's that close but...

00:21:44

00:21:49

We are drawing attention and I think we'd better leave.

00:21:51

00:21:54

I'd rather just, yeah...

00:21:55

00:22:08

Things went from back to worse at this point. The orphanage staff called the police and I was brought before the director for an hour. I didn't get any of my documents and they've told me to stop feeling sorry about myself and to stop talking about my time at the home.

00:22:09

00:22:34

You know he's making it out to be as if the war was worse in Zenica than Sarajevo and it wasn't. I lived in Sarajevo orphanage right in the middle of the worst siege in 94 and you know I didn't go through as much problems in Bjelave orphanage as much as I did here

00:22:40

00:22:54

At the age of 9, I'd had enough of the beatings and bullying and decided to run away from Zenica. I had no idea of where I was going or what I was going to do. I just wanted to be as far away as possible from Zenica.

00:22:56

00:22:59

I ended up in Sarajevo, a city under siege.

00:23:05

00:23:17

In April 1992 as Yugoslavia broke into independent nations, Sarajevo, the capital of newly independent Bosnia, fell under attack from Bosnian Serbs who were against independence.

00:23:19

00:23:25

The Serbs surrounded the city and placed its 500,000 residents under siege and bombardment.

00:23:33

00:23:44

This soon would become the longest siege in modern day history lasting just under four years and killing over 10,000 people, including more than 1,100 children.

00:23:52

00:24:00

By the time I arrived, the city was completely devastated and I remember seeing burnt out buses piled along the streets and people running for cover.

00:24:03

00:24:08

I know it sounds crazy but for me it was like one big war game - Call of Duty but for real.

00:24:12

00:24:24

I was too young to actually realise what was going on around me and too busy trying to think where my next meal was coming from and where I was going to sleep that night.

00:24:32

00:24:40

After two nights I was picked up by the police and taken here to the city's main orphanage. This would be my home for the next six years.

00:24:43

00:24:52

Compared to other orphanages I was in, this place feels like paradise and the kids do seem genuinely happy although they'll never know any different.

00:24:55

00:24:58

But when I was here, it was a completely different story.

00:25:00

00:25:30

Michael Nicholson: Here we have upwards of 200 children in one hospital that comes under frequent bombardment. These are the abandoned war orphans of NAME. It's been hit time and again by the Serbs which is why the orphaned babies are now kept under ground without daylight or fresh air. Unless somebody outside of this besieged city does something, somebody with clout, then this is where the orphans of NAME will remain, like it or not. Michael Nicholson, News at Ten, Sarajevo.

00:25:36

00:26:06

Oggi: This orphanage was within that valley on a hill on a steep hill so it was like, as we say, on a palm of the hands for Serbs to shell into it and we had the army kitchen (laughs) brilliant combination! We have the army kitchen with the kids but then you know Serbs knew what was going on here. So there was kids, babies, adults and the army in one place and I have no idea how we survived, I just don't know!

00:26:13

00:26:21

At the height of the war the orphanage was described as the worst place to be in Sarajevo after the morgue. But for me it was home.

00:26:28

00:26:37

As the babies sheltered in the basement and with our carers either having fled or fighting on the front line, us the older kids were left to fend for ourselves.

00:26:40

00:26:44

Everyday was about survival and staying alive.

00:27:07

00:27:30

During the war we from the orphanage used to come to this market quite a lot to get food for our next meal. The battle for food was huge on either side of people protecting their food and their goods from us trying to steal it. But we always succeeded in winning.

00:27:31

00:27:48

The fastest would run towards the table that we chose to attack. They would just steal one thing and the seller would run after him and then the rest of the vegetables and apples would have been taken away by others waiting for that moment.

00:27:49

00:28:27

During the war it was all about survival and nothing else. It's not something that I'm proud of but at the end of the day, it was hard but then I'd say it helped me to get to where I am today because I've learned to look after myself and not to rely too much on my family and think what if they were here? Would this situation be any easier?

00:28:31

00:28:37

When the war finally ended in December 1995, I was 11 years old.

00:28:38

00:28:42

Our orphanage was rebuilt and for a brief time we celebrated.

00:28:44

00:28:56

As aid began to pour into Bosnia, my lifeline came in an unexpected form. I was donated a camera by a photographer who had come to volunteer at the orphanage.

00:28:59

00:29:05

I started documenting my city and soon began to realise this could be my ticket out of here.

00:29:07

00:29:13

Through photography I began to meet some amazing people - strangers who would soon become like a family to me.

00:29:14

00:29:25

In 2006 at the age of 17 and with their help, I had managed to secure a place at the UK film school and left Sarajevo for what I thought would be the last time.

00:29:38

00:29:50

Being back here in Sarajevo after all these years makes me realise how lucky I've been - not just to have been educated and been able to start a new life in the UK, but simply to have survived the war in the first place.

00:29:51

00:30:14

Standing here now at this firing Serbian range makes me think you know that one of my uncles could have actually been here. Seeing this city on the palm of their hand and deciding where the next grenade is going to fall. I can see how we could have been wiped from the face of the earth.

00:30:27

00:30:35

I remember the sights and sounds of the war like it was yesterday and coming here really hits home what the Serbs did to my city and my fellow Bosnians.

00:30:41

00:30:50

Going to meet my family will take me to the heart of hardline Bosnian Serb territory and the thought of this alone scares me - never mind meeting my family.

00:30:52

00:30:56

But after 27 years of not knowing, I need answers.

00:31:01

00:31:15

The war may be over but Bosnia today is still very much a divided country and split into two main entities - one predominantly controlled by Bosnian Serbs and the other shared by predominantly Bosnian Muslims and Croats.

00:31:17

00:31:22

This is the first time I have ever travelled so far north into Bosnian Serb heartland.

00:31:23

00:31:29

Now we are in Rpublika Srbska boom! There's a Serbian flag, Jesus Christ!

00:31:30

00:31:39

My key contact with Tomic family is Pedrag, my mother's brother. He has arranged the whole family reunion and has hopefully persuaded my mother to meet me.

00:31:40

00:31:55

So I asked him... will my mother be there or if she is there ... He needs to tell me because I do not want to get any nasty surprises.

00:31:57

00:32:04

My mind is set for meeting her tomorrow, not today.

00:32:11

00:32:23

We've come all the way here what I really can't believe is that I did this I made this journey. What will they think? Will they think that I was desperate?

00:32:33

00:32:41

This is the moment that I have been waiting for 27 years - meet by the roadside.

00:32:48

00:32:49

Fantastic!

00:32:53

00:32:55

I think this is him.

Bosnian

00:32:58

00:32:59

Bloody hell!

00:33:00&a