0001 00:02:11:07 00:02:15:04
Dear mum and dad and brother,
0002 00:02:15:07 00:02:22:05
when you read this message I’m probably already dead.
0003 00:04:41:22 00:04:47:05
A girl came in, crying.
She said there was a fight downstairs.
0004 00:04:48:05 00:04:49:23
We went down the stairs.
0005 00:04:50:20 00:04:54:16
I realized, as the second person
went down the stairs...
0006 00:04:54:19 00:04:57:00
that it was way too quiet.
0007 00:04:59:22 00:05:05:17
I opened the door, went in,
and then a bathroom door opened.
0008 00:05:06:17 00:05:08:18
And I saw a gun.
0009 00:05:10:08 00:05:13:08
I saw the gun shooting one pupil.
0010 00:05:14:12 00:05:17:07
I saw his head burst open.
0011 00:05:17:10 00:05:21:00
It was like watching a film
in slow motion.
0012 00:05:22:12 00:05:24:11
I got so angry.
0013 00:05:24:14 00:05:30:04
I was absolutely convinced that it was
some outsider who had come to harm us.
0014 00:05:47:12 00:05:51:19
He banged on the doors.
0015 00:05:51:22 00:05:55:23
He came to our door as well
and started banging on it.
0016 00:05:56:01 00:06:02:19
I guess he tried to shoot
the lock open too.
0017 00:06:02:22 00:06:07:15
He shouted something like:
I will kill you all.
0018 00:06:07:18 00:06:13:23
All the time there was this feeling
that you might die any moment...
0019 00:06:14:01 00:06:18:13
so I sent all my friends
the same message.
0020 00:06:18:16 00:06:22:17
I wrote that now things were really bad.
0021 00:06:22:20 00:06:26:18
That I was at school
and there was a shooting.
0022 00:06:26:21 00:06:30:05
And that I wasn't sure...
0023 00:06:30:08 00:06:35:03
but that I hoped I would survive it
and that it was very frightening...
0024 00:06:35:06 00:06:40:04
and that I would miss them a lot...
0025 00:06:40:07 00:06:43:22
in case I wouldn't make it.
0026 00:06:44:00 00:06:51:03
I wrote 'thanks for everything, and for being
my friends', and those kind of things.
0027 00:06:59:23 00:07:04:10
There were many first-year students
in the canteen. My students.
0028 00:07:04:13 00:07:10:13
I was just shouting: Get out, someone's
shooting downstairs. Go away, quickly.
0029 00:07:10:16 00:07:15:17
So they went, fortunately.
At that point, I remember thinking...
0030 00:07:16:22 00:07:19:09
that this could be my last run.
0031 00:07:19:12 00:07:23:08
And what would happen to my children?
They were ten years old.
0032 00:07:23:11 00:07:25:24
I can't get out of here.
0033 00:07:26:02 00:07:30:18
And when I turned around,
when I was heading off from there...
0034 00:07:30:21 00:07:33:20
I saw Pekka at the glass doors,
for the first time.
0035 00:07:33:23 00:07:37:23
And I realized that I knew the person
who was doing this.
0036 00:07:38:01 00:07:41:16
I just thought: this is impossible.
0037 00:07:44:10 00:07:49:00
He was at the glass doors, he had a gun,
and he shouted something in the line of:
0038 00:07:49:03 00:07:53:16
Come over here and open these doors
or I'll get really angry.
0039 00:08:06:11 00:08:13:06
My colleague said to me: He's coming.
And I saw him at the end of the corridor.
0040 00:08:13:09 00:08:18:23
He was maybe 25 meters away from me.
0041 00:08:19:01 00:08:24:13
He opened the doors we had closed
since they weren't locked.
0042 00:08:24:16 00:08:29:05
At that point,
he started running towards me.
0043 00:08:30:06 00:08:34:09
I can't say if he shot at me at that point...
0044 00:08:34:12 00:08:40:09
but the police told me they found
bullet holes on the wall there.
0045 00:08:40:12 00:08:43:14
So he might have
shot at me.
0046 00:08:43:17 00:08:48:16
But that moment is a bit fuzzy for me.
0047 00:08:48:19 00:08:54:10
At that point, I thought,
that I had only one option.
0048 00:08:54:13 00:08:58:16
My wife and I had just taken out a mortgage
of a little over 200,000 Euros.
0049 00:08:58:19 00:09:05:17
I couldn't leave my wife with that loan,
so I had to make it out of there alive.
0050 00:09:05:20 00:09:07:19
I needed to help my wife
pay back the loan.
0051 00:09:07:22 00:09:13:10
People have these crazy thoughts
in dangerous situations.
0052 00:09:16:11 00:09:21:07
It started when I happened to
look out the window...
0053 00:09:21:10 00:09:27:10
and saw our headmistress walking
outside. She looked nervous.
0054 00:09:30:14 00:09:34:04
I saw Pekka approaching
the headmistress.
0055 00:09:34:07 00:09:40:17
Pekka made her
go down on her knees.
0056 00:09:40:20 00:09:43:17
Pekka was holding a gun.
0057 00:09:43:20 00:09:46:16
He had the gun
against the back of her neck.
0058 00:09:46:19 00:09:50:13
Then he shot her there.
0059 00:09:52:17 00:09:56:13
I didn't know what to think
when Pekka shot the headmistress.
0060 00:09:56:16 00:10:02:14
I did not immediately
tell others about it.
0061 00:10:02:17 00:10:06:23
First, I just looked at her
lying there on the ground.
0062 00:10:07:01 00:10:13:04
After that I said to someone that the
headmistress was down on the ground.
0063 00:10:13:07 00:10:20:20
I was shocked. The person I notified
on this also looked outside.
0064 00:10:20:23 00:10:25:23
I didn't realize what was going on.
0065 00:10:26:01 00:10:31:18
I thought it was some kind of rehearsal.
0066 00:10:32:23 00:10:36:11
Or something fake.
0067 00:10:37:09 00:10:42:11
Somehow my brain just froze
and I couldn't think clearly.
0068 00:10:54:14 00:10:57:00
We opened the door.
0069 00:10:57:03 00:11:00:09
At the end of the hallway...
0070 00:11:00:12 00:11:06:05
Pekka-Eric Auvinen stood there.
He walked towards us very calmly.
0071 00:11:06:08 00:11:10:18
He raised a gun
and pointed it at us.
0072 00:11:10:21 00:11:15:17
We hid under the desks,
and in every corner of the classroom.
0073 00:11:15:20 00:11:21:04
We were under the window, behind
the desks and also under the chairs.
0074 00:11:22:04 00:11:27:14
Then he said that this was a revolution...
0075 00:11:27:17 00:11:31:03
that school was out forever,
the headmistress was dead...
0076 00:11:31:06 00:11:35:03
and that there would
never be school again.
0077 00:11:35:06 00:11:40:18
And that now we should have fun
and that this was a revolution.
0078 00:11:42:19 00:11:44:19
No one did anything.
0079 00:11:44:22 00:11:51:03
That made him angry and he
fired the first shot at the TV.
0080 00:11:52:10 00:11:58:00
No one really moved yet, so he fired
another shot in the window glass.
0081 00:11:58:03 00:12:03:21
Because there were girls
under the window, the glass fell on the girls.
0082 00:12:06:01 00:12:11:03
Then one of the boys
took one of the desks...
0083 00:12:11:06 00:12:17:11
and knocked it over like 'okay,
let's knock over desks and tables'.
0084 00:12:18:11 00:12:21:20
He seemed to be glad about it.
0085 00:12:21:23 00:12:27:15
He said something like
'good job' and left.
0086 00:12:34:05 00:12:40:11
In the class, he was really calm,
in my opinion.
0087 00:12:43:14 00:12:50:16
He was self-assured, in a way.
Content with himself, maybe.
0088 00:12:50:19 00:12:56:19
Content with his performance.
That was the impression I got.
0089 00:12:56:22 00:13:02:15
His behaviour was not emotional.
Like it was all planned in a way.
0090 00:13:03:15 00:13:07:13
It was like he had a good feeling.
0091 00:13:21:15 00:13:25:07
At least seven people were killed
during a shooting...
0092 00:13:25:10 00:13:28:03
at the Jokela High School
in Tuusula.
0093 00:13:28:06 00:13:30:06
Ready to die for his cause...
0094 00:13:30:06 00:13:35:14
On You-Tube is a picture of the school. And armed for action.
0095 00:13:35:17 00:13:42:16
The killer wanted attention.
0096 00:13:39:15 00:13:42:22
The student who killed eight people
at the Jokela High School...
0097 00:13:43:00 00:13:46:18
has died this evening at
the Töölö Hospital in Helsinki.
0098 00:13:46:12 00:13:46:09
This girl was in a classroom next to one where
the killer was. She said everyone was...
0099 00:14:33:18 00:14:37:13
Jokela is seen as a good place
to raise children...
0100 00:14:37:16 00:14:41:15
so families like to live there
and like to move there.
0101 00:14:43:16 00:14:50:08
Most of them work in Helsinki. It's
about forty minutes to Helsinki by train.
0102 00:14:50:11 00:14:55:19
Jokela is a quiet neighbourhood where
people spend their free time and sleep.
00103 00:15:02:02 00:15:07:04
His father worked
for the national railway company...
00104 00:15:07:07 00:15:14:19
and his mother worked in a hospital.
She was a healthcare professional.
0105 00:15:19:12 00:15:22:04
They had lived in Helsinki.
0106 00:15:22:07 00:15:27:05
Then they searched for a more quiet
place and ended up in Jokela.
0107 00:15:30:10 00:15:36:04
In my opinion,
they seemed like quite a normal family.
0108 00:15:36:07 00:15:43:19
Of course, I didn't know them
or visit them until after this shooting.
0109 00:15:43:22 00:15:48:02
Of course this kind of thing
affects a family deeply.
0110 00:15:48:05 00:15:55:10
At least before the shooting
both parents worked.
0111 00:15:55:13 00:16:01:11
The family had many common hobbies
such as music and gardening.
0112 00:16:01:14 00:16:06:13
They seemed to be the kind of people
who liked to be at home.
0113 00:16:12:15 00:16:20:10
In the kind of small community
that Jokela is, they stood out.
0114 00:16:20:13 00:16:25:14
The father was a musician.
0115 00:16:25:17 00:16:30:07
I don't know about his job...
0116 00:16:30:10 00:16:38:15
but when he was younger, he played
guitar with famous Finnish bands.
0117 00:16:40:11 00:16:45:14
But I feel he had a warm
and loving home.
0118 00:16:45:17 00:16:50:04
So you can't say that things
were awry at his home.
0119 00:17:24:24 00:17:27:03
When he was twelve years old...
0120 00:17:27:06 00:17:33:05
he was a very sunny and happy child.
0121 00:17:33:08 00:17:36:01
He was kind.
0122 00:17:36:04 00:17:38:23
Pekka was very calm.
0123 00:17:39:01 00:17:44:12
He was never mean to anyone,
or angry at anyone.
0124 00:17:44:15 00:17:51:05
He was a well-behaved student. I never
needed to reprimand him about anything.
0125 00:17:52:00 00:17:57:14
But he was also someone
who stood out from others.
0126 00:17:57:17 00:18:03:07
He was interested in history,
he did quite well in school.
0127 00:18:04:15 00:18:06:23
Maybe he was a little withdrawn...
0128 00:18:07:01 00:18:11:09
but when you were alone with him,
he was very talkative.
0129 00:18:11:12 00:18:17:10
I remember when he spent a
night away from his home the first time.
0130 00:18:18:11 00:18:24:01
We had a camping trip
at the end of the school year.
0131 00:18:25:00 00:18:30:16
I had forgotten my work mobile phone
in my room.
0132 00:18:30:19 00:18:33:12
When I came back after a few hours...
0133 00:18:33:15 00:18:38:05
I looked at the phone and Pekka's
father had phoned about ten times.
0134 00:18:38:08 00:18:40:02
He was so worried...
0135 00:18:40:05 00:18:45:16
because Pekka was away from home
one night for the first time.
0136 00:18:46:18 00:18:54:09
He was twelve years old.
That sticks in my mind, it's noteworthy.
0137 00:18:55:22 00:19:02:09
I remember
he didn't have any friends at all.
0138 00:19:02:12 00:19:05:19
When there was free time
in the evening...
0139 00:19:05:22 00:19:09:13
I played mini-golf with him
and that kind of things.
0140 00:19:09:16 00:19:14:09
He didn't have any true friends
in that class.
0141 00:19:30:19 00:19:37:12
We talked about how the mother has
participated in local activities in Tuusula.
0142 00:19:37:15 00:19:42:15
She had been active in the regional section
of the Green party.
0143 00:19:42:18 00:19:47:07
But when I interviewed her, she
said she wasn't involved anymore.
0144 00:19:47:10 00:19:52:01
There had been some kind
of ideological differences...
0145 00:19:52:04 00:19:55:00
and a conflict between her
and the Green party.
0146 00:19:55:03 00:19:59:11
She was more oriented towards
deep-ecology and radicalism.
0147 00:20:03:07 00:20:10:00
Their values were ecological...
0148 00:20:10:03 00:20:12:14
and against consumerism.
0149 00:20:14:22 00:20:17:07
Pekka's family didn't have a car...
0150 00:20:17:10 00:20:25:10
which made their lifestyle slightly
different from that of other families.
0151 00:20:26:20 00:20:30:09
In what way exactly was that difficult?
0152 00:20:30:12 00:20:33:13
They didn't say it
was difficult...
0153 00:20:33:16 00:20:39:11
it was just that their children didn't play
football or ice-hockey...
0154 00:20:39:14 00:20:45:09
so they did not need a car
to drive them to sports clubs.
0155 00:20:45:12 00:20:53:12
And that is one of the ways parents
and children get to meet each other.
0156 00:20:53:15 00:20:56:01
Through children's hobbies and such.
0157 00:20:56:04 00:21:01:04
Their children didn't do team sports.
0158 00:21:01:07 00:21:07:08
They might have raised these boys
a little differently.
0159 00:21:07:11 00:21:13:10
Or according to a norm that wasn't
that masculine or competitive.
0160 00:21:16:11 00:21:21:04
Once the parents were asked to act as
judges in a school Idols-competition...
0161 00:21:21:07 00:21:26:03
but they refused. They didn't
want to support competitive behaviour.
0162 00:21:31:12 00:21:38:21
I'm sure this over-protectiveness
had an impact on Pekka.
0163 00:21:38:24 00:21:43:15
He had a strict upbringing.
0164 00:21:44:16 00:21:47:15
The children weren't allowed to swear
at home...
0165 00:21:47:18 00:21:50:11
while at school they say things like 'fuck'
all the time.
0166 00:21:50:14 00:21:56:24
It does create a sort of contradiction.
This is just an example of language.
0167 00:22:00:06 00:22:05:08
If you've had conflicts in school,
if you've had problems...
0168 00:22:05:11 00:22:09:04
then that might lead to...
0169 00:22:10:01 00:22:15:12
someone assuming a haughty attitude.
0170 00:22:15:15 00:22:21:12
That is my opinion,
about the upbringing.
0171 00:22:21:15 00:22:25:10
So that is why he might've thought
that other kids were inferior...
0172 00:22:25:13 00:22:30:20
because they acted a certain way, used a
certain language and did certain things.
0173 00:24:10:02 00:24:16:10
At some point, I think it was in eighth
or ninth grade, he wore a suit to school.
0174 00:24:17:11 00:24:23:01
He would have the works of Karl Marx
with him.
0175 00:24:23:04 00:24:26:24
I haven't often met a person...
0176 00:24:27:02 00:24:32:12
so politically dedicated to an ideology
at the age of fourteen.
0177 00:24:32:15 00:24:36:05
And then at the last year
before the incident...
0178 00:24:36:08 00:24:40:03
some of his classmates told me...
0179 00:24:40:06 00:24:43:22
that he had shifted from communism
to national socialism.
0180 00:24:44:00 00:24:52:02
If you look at the ideologies, they
seem quite similar in some respect...
0181 00:24:52:05 00:24:57:11
but I still couldn't help asking him how
he could change his views so drastically.
0182 00:24:57:14 00:25:02:05
I recall him answering
that he wasn't in favour of either...
0183 00:25:02:08 00:25:05:17
that he was just studying
these ideologies.
0184 00:25:07:07 00:25:13:03
I think he didn't think that a political ideal
would have been something concrete...
0185 00:25:13:06 00:25:16:00
that is introduced in a social system.
0186 00:25:16:03 00:25:22:10
Perhaps he considered political ideologies
as philosophical mental constructs.
0187 00:25:23:15 00:25:29:00
When we discussed North Korea in class,
he had a terribly...
0188 00:25:30:11 00:25:34:02
idealised view towards the system
in North Korea.
0189 00:25:34:05 00:25:42:00
And that didn't fit in my head at all,
me being the kind of humanist I am.
0190 00:25:42:03 00:25:47:17
So I sometimes stuck to a point
and debated him on the subject.
0191 00:25:47:20 00:25:54:00
He was quite unshakable in his opinions.
He couldn't admit he could be wrong...
0192 00:25:54:03 00:25:57:22
or that there would be anything
to rectify in his opinions.
0193 00:25:58:00 00:26:04:07
He even had a stubborn attitude
towards some of my witty remarks.
0194 00:26:05:19 00:26:07:18
But, well...
0195 00:26:09:03 00:26:16:01
he had this idea
that dictatorship is good...
0196 00:26:16:04 00:26:22:14
and that people could be oppressed
to serve a system...
0197 00:26:22:17 00:26:25:02
without human rights whatsoever.
0198 00:26:25:05 00:26:31:21
And most people of that age don't
even stop to think about such things.
0199 00:26:31:24 00:26:36:20
But some people
questioned his ideas...
0200 00:26:36:23 00:26:40:00
so he got attention from others.
0201 00:26:40:03 00:26:48:01
But he rarely got any support
from others in the discussions.
0202 00:26:48:22 00:26:52:14
Still, he wasn't willing to back down
on his opinions.
0203 00:27:08:11 00:27:13:07
democracy: dictatorship of the moral majority which is manipulated by the state mafia
0204 00:27:13:10 00:27:17:15
modern western democracy has nothing to do with freedom of justice
0205 00:27:17:18 00:27:20:17
it is a totalitarian and corrupted system
0206 00:27:20:20 00:27:25:19
equality: it doesn’t exist
0207 00:27:25:22 00:27:30:23
political correctness: lame
0208 00:27:31:01 00:27:35:24
government: legalized mafia
0209 00:27:36:02 00:27:40:04
morals:... are relative!
0210 00:28:08:20 00:28:13:19
He was just a normal guy.
He didn't seem special in any way.
0211 00:28:13:22 00:28:20:23
One thing that stood out
was his long leather coat.
0212 00:28:21:01 00:28:22:19
That stood out a little.
0213 00:28:22:22 00:28:26:17
So maybe he was a bit quirky...
0214 00:28:26:20 00:28:30:01
but nothing really special.
0215 00:28:31:09 00:28:36:07
And you weren’t bullying him?
0216 00:28:33:19 00:28:36:07
No, I didn't notice.
0217 00:28:38:12 00:28:44:08
Did people have a certain way of talking about him? Was he...
0218 00:28:44:11 00:28:48:13
No, I hadn't heard any
specific rumours about him.
0219 00:28:51:01 00:28:54:20
So, do you have any idea why he did it?
0220 00:28:58:16 00:29:03:20
I don't think anything can drive a person
into doing something like that.
0221 00:29:07:04 00:29:12:23
I'm not sure whether
Pekka was alienated...
0222 00:29:13:01 00:29:18:06
because I know he had friends at school,
even good friends.
0223 00:29:19:06 00:29:23:16
I can't remember who his friends were...
0224 00:29:24:23 00:29:30:20
but he did have friends, though. And I don't
think he was bullied more than others.
0225 00:29:31:22 00:29:36:15
Not that much. I mean, everyone
is bullied at school in some way.
0226 00:29:37:14 00:29:40:19
But, yeah.
0227 00:29:43:02 00:29:48:22
Do you think he was oversensitive to teasing?
0228 00:29:50:08 00:29:55:18
Yes, I think Pekka was oversensitive.
0229 00:29:55:21 00:30:02:07
I don't know if it is because
of relationships at home...
0230 00:30:02:10 00:30:07:00
or some trauma that happened
in his childhood or something...
0231 00:30:07:03 00:30:12:23
from which you can be traumatized
or something.
0232 00:30:13:01 00:30:17:07
But he reacted very strongly
to teasing somehow.
0233 00:30:21:02 00:30:25:10
I heard about the bullying...
0234 00:30:25:13 00:30:32:17
and that there had been remarkably
more bullying during middle school.
0235 00:30:33:13 00:30:39:15
Our school is a good place,
in that sense...
0236 00:30:39:18 00:30:43:07
I'm starting my twelfth year
in this school next autumn.
0237 00:30:43:10 00:30:48:12
I think I have witnessed only one fight
during those twelve years in this school.
0238 00:30:48:15 00:30:52:00
When I was in school,
we had fights every break...
0239 00:30:52:03 00:30:55:19
so it was a total wild west
compared to this sanctuary.
0240 00:30:55:22 00:31:01:19
So if there was bullying, you'd hear about it,
but you didn't exactly see it happen.
0241 00:31:01:22 00:31:08:09
So either the students who did it,
were very artful and sneaky...
0242 00:31:08:12 00:31:12:00
or there was not as much of it
as was suggested.
0243 00:31:12:03 00:31:20:00
I did hear that since his opinions
on certain matters were rather radical...
0244 00:31:20:03 00:31:25:24
some of his friends clearly picked him
on the subject a bit...
0245 00:31:26:02 00:31:29:11
but it wasn't in a mean way.
0246 00:31:29:14 00:31:36:16
It was typical for boys of that age.
0247 00:31:36:19 00:31:41:11
You may see it as teasing,
but there is no intention to hurt the other.
0248 00:32:12:01 00:32:17:08
anarcho-evolutionism: natural selection & survival of the fittest
0249 00:32:17:11 00:32:21:15
only human that are intelligent, self-aware, capable of defending themselves
0250 00:32:21:18 00:32:25:14
and living in harmony with surroundings environment, should be allowed to live
0251 00:32:25:17 00:32:31:20
they should be allowed to life their lives freely (without oppression, control or brainwashing of any kind)
0252 00:32:31:23 00:32:33:21
and reproduce
0253 00:32:33:24 00:32:38:23
individuals are different and they determine their own codes of conduct, law, opinions etc
0254 00:32:39:01 00:32:43:12
antihuman humanism: humans are just a species among other animals
0255 00:32:43:15 00:32:47:13
and the world does not exist only for humans
0256 00:32:47:16 00:32:51:21
death is not a tragedy, it happens in nature all the time between all species
0257 00:32:51:24 00:32:54:17
not all human lives are important or worth saving
0258 00:32:54:20 00:32:58:17
only superior, intelligent, self-aware & strong-minded individuals should survive
0259 00:32:58:20 00:33:04:07
while inferior, stupid, retarded and weak-minded masses should perish (or be enslaved)
0260 00:33:10:06 00:33:18:16
Of course there were rumours
that Pekka was bullied
0261 00:33:18:19 00:33:21:09
But that's quite a difficult issue...
0262 00:33:21:12 00:33:27:01
and hard to notice,
but I sensed such atmosphere.
0263 00:33:27:04 00:33:31:21
We know it doesn't take that much
to get bullied at school...
0264 00:33:31:24 00:33:35:19
or wherever that phenomenon occurs.
0265 00:33:45:21 00:33:52:12
There was this story that Pekka...
0266 00:33:53:11 00:33:59:02
Pekka's former teacher had phoned
Pekka's parents to ask them to meet.
0267 00:33:59:05 00:34:03:22
He said to Pekka's parents and Pekka...
0268 00:34:04:00 00:34:07:16
that it would be good
if he dressed like the others.
0269 00:34:08:21 00:34:13:17
If he wore jeans,
Pekka would fit in better...
0270 00:34:13:20 00:34:19:19
and people wouldn't bully him because
of being different...
0271 00:34:19:22 00:34:22:17
especially with boys of that age.
0272 00:34:23:05 00:34:27:00
But his parents didn't agree at all.
0273 00:34:27:03 00:34:34:02
He kept wearing straight pants throughout
primary school and elementary school.
0274 00:34:34:24 00:34:40:12
The story doesn't tell what Pekka
himself wanted, though.
0275 00:34:40:15 00:34:47:14
But the teacher surely tried to
discuss several times...
0276 00:34:48:12 00:34:53:01
how to 'make it by easily'
in the school world...
0277 00:34:53:04 00:34:55:14
with friends and such.
0278 00:35:20:10 00:35:27:19
Well, personally I blame myself
for everything.
0279 00:35:32:08 00:35:37:23
We are built in such a way that when
something as horrible as this happens...
0280 00:35:38:01 00:35:42:13
you go through your whole life history.
0281 00:35:43:17 00:35:48:11
You always wonder what you could have
done differently.
0282 00:35:51:09 00:35:56:14
They attacked him and threw him
across the halls and things like that.
0283 00:35:56:17 00:36:01:23
Both physical and mental assault.
0284 00:36:02:01 00:36:05:04
They called him names...
0285 00:36:05:07 00:36:10:06
and once they shot Pekka with a BB gun
when he was on his way home...
0286 00:36:10:09 00:36:13:17
and pointed a laser pen at his eyes.
0287 00:36:15:18 00:36:21:10
They wrote things on the blackboard
and then the whole class would laugh.
0288 00:36:21:13 00:36:24:09
In the end,
he didn't have a single friend.
0289 00:36:24:12 00:36:28:23
No one would even go outside
with him or play videogames.
0290 00:36:29:01 00:36:33:14
It was sad. Those years in lower
secondary school were very hard.
0291 00:36:33:17 00:36:41:12
For a few years he had no friends at all.
During holidays he would ask:
0292 00:36:41:15 00:36:45:21
'Mum, why don't I have any friends? '
0293 00:36:45:24 00:36:52:00
You can't buy a friend in the shops
and you can't order them by mail.
0294 00:36:52:03 00:36:55:24
We did think really hard
where we could find friends.
0295 00:36:56:02 00:36:59:12
Any hobbies where he
could find friends.
0296 00:36:59:15 00:37:05:12
We tried to come up with all kinds
of things and made suggestions...
0297 00:37:05:15 00:37:11:09
but Pekka wasn't interested in the things
young people of his age usually do.
0298 00:37:11:12 00:37:15:02
In that sense, he was unusual.
0299 00:37:25:23 00:37:30:19
Pekka was a bit ridiculed
by my friends as well.
0300 00:37:32:23 00:37:37:01
And I admit I did ease along with it.
0301 00:37:37:04 00:37:41:21
But it was such a small-scale thing,
everyone made remarks to Pekka.
0302 00:37:41:24 00:37:47:03
I didn't intervene
as I didn't know him in any way.
0303 00:37:49:20 00:37:54:20
I had heard that he was a communist,
and people often called him that.
0304 00:37:54:23 00:37:59:14
That's what you heard people saying
at school from time to time.
0305 00:37:59:17 00:38:02:08
'There goes the communist again',
or something.
0306 00:38:02:11 00:38:06:04
And Pekka didn't really
make this easier for himself.
0307 00:38:06:07 00:38:11:24
He would sometimes have Lenin's
Red Book with him at school.
0308 00:38:12:02 00:38:16:19
Or some other communist books.
0309 00:38:16:22 00:38:23:10
It wasn't just a rumor
but he actually really read them.
0310 00:38:23:13 00:38:30:04
He also had this briefcase.
A black leather briefcase, I recall.
0311 00:38:30:07 00:38:34:21
A bit like one you could imagine
a professor carrying around.
0312 00:38:34:24 00:38:39:16
That stands out when you compare
it to kids wearing Nike sneakers...
0313 00:38:39:19 00:38:43:02
and carrying an Adidas backpack
or something.
0314 00:38:43:05 00:38:47:12
'The briefcase man', 'the communist',
'the Nazi'.
0315 00:38:47:15 00:38:49:24
That's what people called him.
0316 00:38:50:02 00:38:54:07
He was also ridiculed
because he had this tendency to blush.
0317 00:38:54:10 00:38:59:08
So you could approach him
in the corridor and say something...
0318 00:38:59:11 00:39:02:13
and he might get very
flustered over it.
0319 00:39:02:16 00:39:09:15
One time when I was walking
in the corridor with my friend...
0320 00:39:09:18 00:39:14:04
and there was this stupid idea,
that young people get at times.
0321 00:39:14:07 00:39:17:23
We said hi to Pekka
in a very friendly way.
0322 00:39:18:01 00:39:21:20
We just said 'hi, Pekka', or something.
0323 00:39:21:23 00:39:29:03
We didn't have any evil intentions but we
just wanted to see how he would react.
0324 00:39:29:06 00:39:33:01
Pekka got very flustered.
0325 00:39:33:04 00:39:38:08
He looked at us, and
then looked away and blushed a little.
0326 00:39:38:11 00:39:40:23
And he just quickly walked on.
0327 00:39:43:22 00:39:47:24
I'm sure it has made his parents worried.
0328 00:39:48:02 00:39:52:18
They have often contacted the school.
So he got this momma's boy reputation.
0329 00:39:52:21 00:39:58:20
'Always squealing and telling his
parents when something happens.'
0330 00:39:58:23 00:40:04:00
Then his parents would come and
intervene. So things escalated.
0331 00:40:13:01 00:40:19:11
I now feel so bad about the bullying,
even if Pekka was a bad person.
0332 00:40:19:14 00:40:23:16
But I wanted to hang out with
older students and be cool.
0333 00:40:23:19 00:40:26:04
Especially in the eyes of boys.
0334 00:40:27:09 00:40:35:20
I knew people who bullied Pekka
who went on all different talk shows...
0335 00:40:35:23 00:40:40:18
talking about how they had been Pekka's
friends and that there was no bullying.
0336 00:40:40:21 00:40:43:23
And that something just snapped
in Pekka's head.
0337 00:40:44:18 00:40:50:21
The truth is that they were absolutely
horrible to him and are now lying.
0338 00:40:50:24 00:40:58:06
They didn't only call him names. They
had tried to humiliate him at parties.
0339 00:40:58:22 00:41:04:03
Sometimes they were friendly to Pekka,
but later they just excluded him...
0340 00:41:04:06 00:41:06:17
and were not his friends.
0341 00:41:08:02 00:41:11:21
I do understand how horrible
it must have been for Pekka.
0342 00:41:11:24 00:41:14:17
He thought these people
were his friends...
0343 00:41:14:20 00:41:18:13
but would never know how they
were going to act in school or at parties.
0344 00:41:19:13 00:41:25:12
I feel that some people enjoyed watching
Pekka's loneliness and suffering.
0345 00:41:40:18 00:41:44:16
I feel Pekka was a bit like...
0346 00:41:44:19 00:41:49:07
he had this invisible wall around him...
0347 00:41:49:10 00:41:55:09
so that things couldn't reach him.
0348 00:41:55:12 00:42:00:07
And I feel that I didn't connect
with him.
0349 00:42:01:04 00:42:05:09
So it was a
professional relationship.
0350 00:42:05:12 00:42:09:15
With most students,
it is a professional relationship.
0351 00:42:09:18 00:42:12:22
I don't know if you understand
what I mean.
0352 00:42:13:00 00:42:19:15
It's not like I get to know a pupil and stay
in touch for the rest of our life.
0353 00:42:20:15 00:42:25:21
I hate to say this, but it isn't even possible
for me to know my own child that well...
0354 00:42:26:15 00:42:34:03
...that my child couldn't plan, think or do
something like that without me knowing.
0355 00:43:07:09 00:43:13:14
It was only afterwards that I read
weird stuff about him.
0356 00:43:16:24 00:43:22:08
A while before the shooting I saw a video
he had published on YouTube.
0357 00:43:22:11 00:43:27:01
Maybe that was a week before.
0358 00:43:32:19 00:43:39:09
In one video he had just filmed
the school from outside...
0359 00:43:39:12 00:43:45:23
and in one video, he shot an apple
or something like that.
0360 00:43:53:00 00:44:00:08
I thought: What a clown.
Why does he post things like that.
0361 00:44:00:11 00:44:06:15
I thought that... I think I had seen it
before the shooting...
0362 00:44:06:18 00:44:10:11
so I wondered
why he posted things like that.
0363 00:44:10:14 00:44:14:06
Things he wouldn't do anyway.
0364 00:44:16:11 00:44:18:20
It didn't make any sense.
0365 00:44:18:23 00:44:25:16
I just thought that he wouldn't do those
things, and then I forgot about the videos.
0366 00:44:27:14 00:44:29:04
It was...
0367 00:44:31:00 00:44:33:23
in the autumn of 2007...
0368 00:44:34:23 00:44:37:19
I clearly noticed...
0369 00:44:39:00 00:44:47:02
that the shooter had changed.
He didn't attend my classes.
0370 00:44:47:18 00:44:52:09
And if I addressed him,
he appeared...
0371 00:44:52:12 00:44:58:07
I didn't think about it then, of course.
Many things clarify in hindsight.
0372 00:44:58:10 00:45:01:14
So I thought that...
0373 00:45:01:17 00:45:05:15
Yes, he was, clearly distraught.
0374 00:45:05:18 00:45:10:11
And clearly unwell at the time.
0375 00:45:11:20 00:45:15:23
But, then again, on the other hand...
0376 00:45:16:01 00:45:21:08
not all things in a student's life
are a teacher's business.
0377 00:45:22:11 00:45:28:12
And you assume that
if a young person has problems...
0378 00:45:28:15 00:45:33:03
he will talk about it with a grown-up.
0379 00:45:33:06 00:45:38:22
I'm afraid to intrude
in young people's lives.
0380 00:45:39:00 00:45:43:23
You might bring up something
they don't want to talk about.
0381 00:45:45:10 00:45:50:05
So, not even the friends had seen that.
0382 00:45:51:01 00:45:56:02
Maybe only during the very
last two days before the shooting...
0383 00:45:57:05 00:46:01:19
a few friends had learnt
that Pekka had acquired a hand gun.
0384 00:46:03:24 00:46:12:01
I remember the two or three
students who knew about the gun...
0385 00:46:12:04 00:46:15:01
right before the massacre...
0386 00:46:15:04 00:46:19:19
might blame themselves
for not reacting to him buying a gun.
0387 00:46:19:22 00:46:27:18
It's not the first thing you think of when
your friend has acquired a handgun...
0389 00:46:27:21 00:46:32:17
that he would do such a thing
that took place here.
0390 00:46:33:20 00:46:37:03
These things become clear later.
0391 00:48:14:01 00:48:18:22
He asked pretty normal questions.
-He was a typical person buying a gun.
0392 00:48:19:00 00:48:24:07
He asked perfectly normal things. Things
you ask when you buy your first gun.
0393 00:48:26:12 00:48:28:14
What did he ask?
0394 00:48:30:12 00:48:35:00
He asked about the basic instructions.
-How the gun works.
0395 00:48:35:03 00:48:41:06
He bought cleaning equipment for it
and cheap bullets.
0396 00:48:41:09 00:48:48:09
People buying their first gun always buy
lots of rounds, it's cheaper in bulk.
0397 00:48:50:04 00:48:54:02
No, nothing noteworthy came up.
0398 00:48:54:05 00:48:58:05
I don't think
any abnormal question was asked.
0399 00:48:58:08 00:49:00:08
No, not at all, nothing.
0400 00:49:01:11 00:49:04:13
How many bullets did he buy?
0401 00:49:04:16 00:49:09:06
As I recall, 1000.
-1000 or 1500.
0402 00:49:09:09 00:49:14:18
Either or. Roughly.
I think it was two boxes of 500.
0403 00:49:18:01 00:49:24:12
I could add one thing. The gun he bought
was a very popular gun for a first gun.
0404 00:49:24:15 00:49:27:24
I mean, it was this hot item.
-It was affordable.
0405 00:49:28:02 00:49:30:10
A brand gun.
-Yes.
0406 00:49:30:13 00:49:38:03
At that time quite modern, ahead of its
time, a futuristic gun, so it was popular.
0407 00:49:45:10 00:49:48:05
I understood he was trying
to find a 9mm gun.
0408 00:49:48:08 00:49:55:20
I think he would have caused less damage,
less killing, with a 9mm...
0409 00:49:55:23 00:50:00:18
than with a 22mm gun.
-It has much more recoil.
0410 00:50:00:21 00:50:06:24
It requires much more practice.
Much more practice.
0411 00:50:07:02 00:50:11:06
We have been shooting
from the age of seven or eight.
0412 00:50:11:09 00:50:15:18
That's completely different from someone
who has been practicing a few weeks.
0413 00:50:19:07 00:50:22:21
How did the community react to you?
0414 00:50:24:05 00:50:28:06
Obviously we got blamed.
-We got lots of blame.
0415 00:50:28:09 00:50:34:11
Also on a national level,
so like the whole...
0416 00:50:34:14 00:50:38:13
The whole country.
-Everyone thought it was our fault.
0417 00:50:38:16 00:50:43:20
Yes. Everyone pointed their finger at us.
The villagers as well.
0418 00:50:43:23 00:50:48:08
We received threat letters,
and also these...
0419 00:50:49:24 00:50:56:18
postcards with all kinds of insults,
slander. Slandering postcards.
0420 00:50:56:21 00:51:00:20
Some person who lived in Jokela
came up to me and spat on me.
0421 00:51:00:23 00:51:05:04
People shouted at us,
calling us killers and... It was quite...
0422 00:51:06:10 00:51:09:09
It was quite short-sighted,
in my opinion.
0423 00:51:11:01 00:51:13:02
Do you feel guilty at all?
0424 00:51:13:05 00:51:15:18
No.
-No, no guilt in any way.
0425 00:51:17:05 00:51:20:11
We have nothing to do with this.
0426 00:51:21:09 00:51:25:17
Nothing at all.
-The guilty party is the one who shoots.
0427 00:51:25:20 00:51:31:06
We are not involved in any way. He could
have bought the gun anywhere else.
0428 00:51:37:02 00:51:43:05
When someone is in such a bad state
of mind, like Pekka...
0429 00:51:43:08 00:51:48:06
they will not abandon the plan
if the police refuses a gun permit.
0430 00:51:48:09 00:51:51:05
At that stage a person is so deep
in the throes of mental problems...
0431 00:51:52:17 00:51:58:10
that surely he will figure out a way.
0432 00:52:10:02 00:52:14:20
He asked if Pekka was at home
or if Pekka's gun was at the house.
0433 00:52:15:15 00:52:20:19
At that point it felt as if I was hit with
a sledge hammer. What gun?
0434 00:52:22:01 00:52:24:13
We had no idea of him having a gun.
0435 00:52:26:12 00:52:31:20
His friends at school
already knew about it then, earlier.
0436 00:52:31:23 00:52:34:10
Pekka had talked about it at school.
0437 00:52:34:13 00:52:40:13
He bought it on the preceding Friday,
according to the receipt you found.
0438 00:52:40:16 00:52:46:00
I found it in his room,
in the desk drawer.
0439 00:52:46:03 00:52:48:24
I went to search some more there.
0440 00:52:50:00 00:52:57:07
And then I found
the last letter Pekka had left us.
0441 00:52:58:10 00:53:02:08
It was placed on the computer desk.
0442 00:53:03:17 00:53:08:06
The letter started with:
'To my father, mother and brother'.
0443 00:53:09:12 00:53:12:24
And then I turned it around
and read it and after that...
0444 00:53:14:13 00:53:16:09
...I went into shock.
0445 00:53:30:07 00:53:34:18
It was told in the media
that he had mental issues...
0446 00:53:34:21 00:53:39:00
and he had tried to get help...
0447 00:53:39:03 00:53:43:21
and that he had problems finding it.
0448 00:53:43:24 00:53:50:01
Personally I've also
thought about the case...
0449 00:53:50:04 00:53:55:21
and many symptoms of the spectrum
of autism showed up.
0450 00:53:55:24 00:54:01:07
I thought he showed ways
of thinking similar to autists.
0451 00:54:04:22 00:54:11:11
Based on the material
that was available to the public...
0452 00:54:11:14 00:54:13:02
I thought...
0453 00:54:13:05 00:54:20:17
that there had been a lot of discussion
on the way he dressed...
0454 00:54:20:20 00:54:26:14
and his way of speaking to people.
0455 00:54:28:09 00:54:32:00
He had difficulties in social life...
0456 00:54:32:03 00:54:38:14
and isolated himself from his peers.
0457 00:54:38:17 00:54:43:23
He also had a special interest
in ideologies and philosophies...
0458 00:54:44:01 00:54:47:16
that allow the use of violence
in conflict situations.
0459 00:54:54:21 00:55:01:06
What was called 'shyness' can be many
kinds of things. A person can be timid...
0460 00:55:01:09 00:55:05:18
or there might be anxiety,
fear of social situations...
0461 00:55:05:21 00:55:09:21
though people in the autistic spectrum
may exhibit symptoms like that...
0462 00:55:09:24 00:55:14:14
who often have certain
difficulties in relationships...
0463 00:55:14:17 00:55:19:08
which may appear as what is called
shyness in everyday situations.
0464 00:55:32:06 00:55:37:06
In our own research, where we examined
about eighty similar medical histories...
0465 00:55:37:09 00:55:42:02
where young people had threatened
to commit massacres...
0466 00:55:42:05 00:55:47:04
in many cases the problems
of the autistic spectrum rose up.
0467 00:55:48:19 00:55:51:10
I believe it is tied with autism
in a sense that...
0468 00:55:51:13 00:55:58:22
Being autistic means that an individual
has problems in social situations.
0469 00:55:59:00 00:56:02:11
Difficulty to express oneself,
in making contact...
0470 00:56:02:14 00:56:06:02
and also a difficulty
in interpreting others correctly.
0471 00:56:06:05 00:56:10:09
The communicational problems
exist in both directions...
0472 00:56:10:12 00:56:16:04
and adolescence is a stage
in which relationships are crucial.
0473 00:56:16:07 00:56:20:05
If you don't succeed in that,
if you remain an outsider...
0474 00:56:20:08 00:56:23:13
it might provoke aggression problems...
0475 00:56:23:16 00:56:29:19
and in extreme situations, it makes
one feel drawn to revenge fantasies...
0476 00:56:29:22 00:56:34:16
and you might manifest thoughts
about power and other things like that.
0477 00:56:34:19 00:56:37:16
That is how I see
autism is related to this.
0478 00:56:44:05 00:56:52:06
Pekka was diagnosed with a panic
disorder. A fear of social situations.
0479 00:56:52:09 00:56:57:00
That's true, but depression, for example,
was never diagnosed.
0480 00:56:57:03 00:57:03:23
He was also prescribed medicine for this...
0481 00:57:04:01 00:57:08:08
but that didn't seem to help much.
0482 00:57:08:11 00:57:15:12
I have asked if he could be referred
to this adolescent psychiatric clinic...
0483 00:57:15:15 00:57:18:20
to get therapy along with it.
0484 00:57:18:23 00:57:25:24
The doctor said 'no, there's
a six-month waiting time there'.
0485 00:57:26:02 00:57:31:18
And what Pekka had been diagnosed with
was too mild to get admitted.
0486 00:57:31:21 00:57:35:05
We just needed to increase the doses.
0487 00:57:35:08 00:57:39:09
I remember thinking
that we were left on our own...
0488 00:57:39:12 00:57:44:16
and that we had to try
and offer support here at home...
0489 00:57:44:19 00:57:48:05
and somehow manage with the medication.
0490 00:57:48:08 00:57:50:23
Pekka never said he wanted to...
0491 00:57:51:01 00:57:56:19
He never spoke about hurting himself
or anybody else.
0492 00:57:57:21 00:58:05:12
I thought that if he truly was a mild case,
as the doctors said, we shouldn't worry.
0493 00:58;14;20 00:58:20:08
Hello everyone, this is me, NaturalSelector89, talking to you.
0494 00:58:21:07 00:58:24:00
Friends and haters and everyone else.
0495 00:58:27:16 00:58:33:05
I got this idea of making an introduction video to my channel.
0496 00:58:34:17 00:58:40:01
Since I already have over 130 videos.
0497 00:58:40:04 00:58:45:07
And not an introduction video yet, so I guess it’s good time to make one.
0498 00:58:51:02 00:58:55:06
And this is it, an introduction video for my channel.
0499 00:59:01:19 00:59:04:15
I guess I have not much to say right now...
0500 00:59:04:18 00:59:11:05
But I will make more talking videos in the future.
0501 00:59:11:08 00:59:16:23
Until then I will continue making my usual videos.
0502 00:59:17:01 00:59:19:24
Which I hope you have enjoyed.
0503 00:59:51:02 00:59:56:16
We were both on this website called IRC-Galleria.
Which is kind of like a Facebook.
0504 00:59:56:19 01:00:01:17
And we had both liked the group that was called Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris.
0505 01:00:01:20 01:00:04:10
So that is where we started talking to each other.
0506 01:00:05:22 01:00:08:17
Can you describe what Klebold and Harris is?
0507 01:00:08:20 01:00:13:09
Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were the shooters of Columbine.
0508 01:00:14:10 01:00:17:20
And why were you interested in that?
0509 01:00:18:20 01:00:24:15
In a way it’s kind of interesting to see how people who are...
0510 01:00:24:18 01:00:32:16
In the beginning everyone is the same, everyone gets born and learns how to walk and talk and eat and all that.
0511 01:00:32:19 01:00:37:20
But at some point, something goes so wrong that they end up killing other people...
0512 01:00:37:23 01:00:39:08
or do something else.
0513 01:00:39:11 01:00:46:24
I find it really interesting that someone who comes from the same background as everyone else...
0514 01:00:47:02 01:00:49:16
goes through something like that.
0515 01:00:59:01 01:01:03:09
We had a very long conversation on the fifth of November.
0516 01:01:04:11 01:01:11:09
And he started the conversation with, I am full of hate and I love it.
Which is something that Eric Harris said.
0517 01:01:11:12 01:01:14:06
And he said something like...
0518 01:01:17:09 01:01:20:18
I’m thinking about doing it.
0519 01:01:20:21 01:01:26:08
He didn’t mention a school shooting or anything yet.
He just said that he was thinking about doing it.
0520 01:01:26:11 01:01:31:15
And I replied with: yes, that was kind of what I was afraid of.
0521 01:01:32:15 01:01:37:14
Because I saw the picture of the gun and all that.
0522 01:01:55:04 01:02:01:23
Then we were just talking... I was asking him more details about it, to see if he was serious.
0523 01:02:02:01 01:02:05:08
I was asking when are you going to do it?
0524 01:02:05:11 01:02:11:06
And he replied with: Yesterday I thought I was going to do it today, and today I think I’m going to do it tomorrow.
0525 01:02:11:09 01:02:17:15
First I thought that he wasn’t really serious about it.
0526 01:02:18:19 01:02:23:02
I asked him if he had a plan.
0527 01:02:23:05 01:02:29:15
He said that his goal is to kill one to five people if he was lucky.
0528 01:02:32:01 01:02:34:20
And even more when he is really lucky.
0529 01:02:34:23 01:02:40:06
Then he said that he was going to set the principal’s office on fire.
0530 01:02:42:24 01:02:50:06
And at that point, when he said about setting it on fire, I kind of thought that he wasn’t serious. That he was just like...
0531 01:02:52:08 01:02:57:04
talking, because it seemed so absurd.
0532 01:02:57:07 01:03:00:05
Set your principal’s office on fire.
0533 01:03:01:08 01:03:04:17
We had a really long conversation.
0534 01:03:09:21 01:03:14:14
I didn’t think he was serious that night.
0535 01:03:14:17 01:03:21:09
The day after that, he came online and we talked again.
0536 01:03:21:12 01:03:23:16
And he seemed...
0537 01:03:24:21 01:03:27:14
Just different.
I don’t know how to say it.
0538 01:03:28:24 01:03:32:08
He was using a lot of shorter sentences.
0539 01:03:32:11 01:03:36:14
Because usually he was using a lot of words...
0540 01:03:36:17 01:03:40:24
And debate about stuff.
0541 01:03:41:02 01:03:47:12
But on that day it was just like, he seemed kind of nervous I think.
0542 01:03:47:15 01:03:53:20
And he ended it with, I need to go think. Good night.
0543 01:03:57:12 01:04:00:07
And that was the last time I talked to him.
0544 01:04:12:23 01:04:17:17
Out of the night that covers me,
black as the pit from pole to pole.
0545 01:04:17:20 01:04:23:14
I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul
0546 01:04:23:17 01:04:30:10
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
0547 01:04:30:13 01:04:36:15
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed
0548 01:04:38:08 01:04:44:12
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
0549 01:04:45:21 01:04:51:19
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid
0550 01:04:53:07 01:04:56:23
It matters not how strait the gate
0551 01:04:57:24 01:05:01:06
How charged with punishments the scroll
0552 01:05:01:12 01:05:04:08
I am the master of my fate:
0553 01:05:04:11 01:05:07:16
I am the captain of my soul
0554 01:05:18:24 01:05:26:10
A few years ago, there was an article,
'Pekka-Eric Auvinen's last summer'.
0555 01:05:26:13 01:05:33:14
It was about Pekka's relationship
with this girl on the internet.
0556 01:05:34:15 01:05:39:00
She used the nickname 'tanascheel'.
0557 01:05:46:11 01:05:48:22
hi my dear,
I’m just dropping by your channel
0558 01:05:49:00 01:05:53:03
to tell you how amazing you are
and how much I truly love you
0559 01:05:53:06 01:05:56:04
I love you too my dear, and your beautiful channel
you are the most amazing person I have ever met
0560 01:05:56:07 01:05:59:07
and you mean very much to me
you are like a Goddess to me
0561 01:06:00:23 01:06:02:19
you are everything to me
0562 01:06:02:22 01:06:07:04
I love you so much
and you make me happier than I could describe
0563 01:06:07:07 01:06:13:05
I love you so much too, hard to
describe with words this feeling of mine
0564 01:06:13:15 01:06:18:17
He had found someone he wasn't able
to find in school...
0565 01:06:18:20 01:06:22:11
or in the physical world.
0566 01:06:22:14 01:06:27:23
Of course, the emotions became
very strong...
0567 01:06:28:01 01:06:33:21
and I believe it must've been one of the
most important relationships in his life.
0568 01:06:33:24 01:06:37:05
But it didn't end well.
0569 01:06:37:24 01:06:43:01
In my understanding,
this tanascheel...
0570 01:06:43:04 01:06:50:10
later turned out to have
ties to German royalty...
0571 01:06:50:13 01:06:56:11
who lived in Central Europe...
0572 01:06:56:14 01:07:02:03
she went to very expensive schools,
and was a little older than Pekka.
0573 01:07:02:06 01:07:07:06
She found someone else, it seemed.
0574 01:07:07:09 01:07:12:04
I can't remember,
but he was a neo-Nazi type of person.
0575 01:07:14:15 01:07:18:04
you are with Steve?
you are his girlfriend, he won your heart?
0576 01:07:18:07 01:07:21:07
I have seen how you send messages to each other
0577 01:07:21:10 01:07:25:02
you know why I have pains and why my heart and
mind is hurt and broken
0578 01:07:25:05 01:07:27:22
because you are still the woman I love
0579 01:07:28:00 01:07:31:19
I never had these emotions towards anyone
in my sad and boring life
0580 01:07:31:22 01:07:36:19
you made me free
you freed me from my prison of emotional apathy
0581 01:07:36:22 01:07:41:02
but all this is killing me, from inside
0582 01:07:43:03 01:07:45:07
NaturalSelector, I will always like you
0583 01:07:45:10 01:07:49:24
I mean you are (and were) my best friend
that’s not going to change
0584 01:07:50:02 01:07:54:17
okay well good
0585 01:07:55:17 01:07:59:10
so Steve is not your...
0586 01:07:59:13 01:08:03:12
NaturalSelector...
0587 01:08:04:17 01:08:10:22
so it is just slowing down?
and we can actually meet some day?
0588 01:08:11:00 01:08:15:21
I don’t know, we’ll see
0589 01:08:19:06 01:08:24:02
So there was this other person with
extremist ideas in some other country...
0590 01:08:24:05 01:08:29:17
with whom she started
the same kind of relationship...
0591 01:08:29:20 01:08:33:03
as with Pekka.
0592 01:08:34:10 01:08:39:18
And I believe this might have been
the last straw for him.
0593 01:08:40:17 01:08:46:23
The boy who treated this girl pretty well
suddenly vanishes altogether.
0594 01:08:47:01 01:08:50:24
He is now very angry,
and might even want to take revenge.
0595 01:09:19:19 01:09:22:22
congrats on the gun
0596 01:09:23:21 01:09:27:19
you only care about your fingernails,
rich and spoiled little girl
0597 01:09:27:22 01:09:33:13
have a happy life together, weakminded worthless bitch and superdupersuperdupermegasuperhypersuper aryanman
0598 01:09:33:16 01:09:36:21
'Sieg Heil' to your hilarious relationship
0599 01:09:36:24 01:09:41:18
I’m sure it lasts long like her
every other relationships in the past
0600 01:09:41:21 01:09:44:23
and now which are on
0601 01:09:47:06 01:09:50:16
get off her channel, you little cockmonger
no one gives a shit what you think
0602 01:09:50:19 01:09:52:19
or the simplistic views you have
0603 01:09:52:22 01:09:56:24
you are nothing, your thoughts are generic,
you are immature, pathetic, a joke
0604 01:09:57:02 01:10:00:15
I’ve actually laughed at you when I think about
the bullshit you peddle as provocative or scary
0605 01:10:00:18 01:10:03:02
you are scared and small-minded
you fucking sicken me
0606 01:10:03:05 01:10:05:09
piss off, you jealous little boy
0607 01:10:06:06 01:10:11:10
how are you and your bitch?
she sure is a cheap whore
0608 01:10:18:05 01:10:22:17
I know that on the morning
of the shooting...
0609 01:10:22:20 01:10:27:11
or at some point during the night
before the shooting...
0610 01:10:27:14 01:10:34:08
Pekka had sent an apology message
to tanascheel...
0611 01:10:34:11 01:10:41:23
and told her that he was very sorry,
that he didn't mean to hurt her...
0612 01:10:42:01 01:10:47:21
and that he's angry, because
he was so in love with her. And well...
0613 01:10:50:11 01:10:56:21
There was not much that could be done.
A few hours later Pekka has gone...
0614 01:10:56:24 01:11:00:04
and killed several other people
and himself.
0615 01:11:06:20 01:11:11:13
if you want me to accept your apology,
then do it correctly
0616 01:11:11:16 01:11:16:13
you said that shit publicly,
be a man and apologize publicly
0617 01:11:16:16 01:11:22:16
I unblocked you, but I can’t take your
fucking mood swings anymore
0618 01:11:22:19 01:11:26:04
if you go off like that again, that’s it
0619 01:11:27:07 01:11:32:03
I am actually sorry for everything and also sorry
that I have been behaving as lame as I did yesterday
0620 01:11:32:06 01:11:35:11
I realize it was actually not a very good idea
0621 01:11:36:09 01:11:39:06
I guess it is time to say goodbye now
I have my destiny to fulfill
0622 01:11:39:09 01:11:43:02
I’m quite sure I won’t be talking with you or anybody else anymore
0623 01:11:43:05 01:11:50:02
since I’m probably dead when you read this
0624 01:13:00:05 01:13:05:13
Only in the first year after the shooting
there was a memorial service...
0625 01:13:05:16 01:13:08:01
at the Jokela school.
0626 01:13:11:24 01:13:16:23
The representatives
of the municipal were present...
0627 01:13:17:01 01:13:20:11
as well as the representatives
of the crisis centre.
0628 01:13:22:09 01:13:25:03
But after that there
has been no memorials.
0629 01:13:26:20 01:13:28:14
If you know the date...
0630 01:13:28:17 01:13:34:08
you can find something to remember it by
in the cemetery.
0631 01:13:34:11 01:13:37:06
Grave stones.
0632 01:13:38:17 01:13:42:15
I think two of the victims
have been buried here.
0633 01:13:42:18 01:13:47:08
At least one of the victims,
but I think it was two.
0634 01:13:47:11 01:13:52:14
But that is the only sign of what happened.
0635 01:13:53:23 01:13:55:22
That I know about.
0636 01:13:56:00 01:14:03:09
Was there talk in the community
about making a big memorial
0637 01:14:03:12 01:14:06:07
in the center of town
to commemorate the attack?
0638 01:14:06:10 01:14:11:07
I haven't heard about it.
But I have thought about the same thing...
0639 01:14:11:10 01:14:17:03
because in front of the church,
we have an iron rail.
0640 01:14:17:06 01:14:24:04
That's a reminder of a railway accident
in 2006... No, in 1996...
0641 01:14:24:07 01:14:27:23
that took place in Jokela.
0642 01:14:28:01 01:14:31:16
So people wanted to place a memorial
for that in the churchyard...
0643 01:14:32:17 01:14:35:07
but not for the Jokela shooting.
0644 01:14:36:19 01:14:41:08
Why do you think that people do want to remember a railway accident
0645 01:14:41:11 01:14:45:23
But don’t want to remember a school killing?
0646 01:14:46:01 01:14:49:20
I wish I knew.
It is such a frightening incident.
0647 01:14:49:23 01:14:51:24
I don't know.
0648 01:15:18:23 01:15:23:19
It was maybe a week
after the shooting.
0649 01:15:23:22 01:15:28:09
They had been renovating the school
super fast, in that time.
0650 01:15:28:12 01:15:32:15
Covered the bullet holes, painted
the walls, repaired the windows...
0651 01:15:32:18 01:15:37:04
and tried to change the colors a little.
It was a bit weird.
0652 01:15:37:07 01:15:41:19
It was as if they were trying
to turn it into another school...
0653 01:15:41:22 01:15:47:00
so that we wouldn't associate it
with the shooting anymore.
0654 01:15:50:07 01:15:56:14
We had this gathering
a few days after the shooting...
0655 01:15:57:12 01:15:58:22
at school.
0656 01:15:59:00 01:16:03:14
We were at the Perttu school,
and there was a football match there.
0657 01:16:03:17 01:16:07:05
So the idea was to play football...
0658 01:16:07:08 01:16:12:00
and the idea was to forget
some of what had happened.
0659 01:16:13:20 01:16:18:00
And then they said
we would go to Sea Life.
0660 01:16:18:03 01:16:23:03
We would go bowling
and that kind of things.
0661 01:16:23:06 01:16:29:01
Different groups planned different
things that young people would like...
0662 01:16:29:04 01:16:33:18
to cheer us up and help us forget
about the trauma.
0663 01:16:57:06 01:17:02:23
The problem was
that I had lost a friend...
0664 01:17:03:01 01:17:07:11
and I was grieving.
0665 01:17:07:14 01:17:15:06
But at the school, or in the crowd,
you couldn't even show your suffering...
0666 01:17:15:09 01:17:20:23
because we were supposed
to be cheering ourselves up...
0667 01:17:21:01 01:17:23:21
and we had to forget what happened.
0668 01:17:25:05 01:17:30:15
There was no room for grief
during those outings.
0669 01:17:30:18 01:17:36:17
They were not able to understand
the people who had lost someone.
0670 01:17:36:20 01:17:42:21
It was even for me hard to say out loud:
"I'm having a hard time, don't you get it?"
0671 01:17:42:24 01:17:48:14
For them it was like: Something happened,
let's pretend it never happened.
0672 01:18:16:11 01:18:23:04
His father visited the store two or three...
-A few months after the shooting.
0673 01:18:23:07 01:18:26:15
When the shooting wasn't
in the papers every day anymore.
0674 01:18:26:18 01:18:34:02
Yes, when it wasn't in all headlines. He
came here very often, for about a year.
0675 01:18:34:05 01:18:37:05
Yes, about a year, yes.
0676 01:18:37:08 01:18:41:03
Not every day, but I think every week.
-Every week.
0677 01:18:41:06 01:18:44:05
Sometimes even on consecutive days.
0678 01:18:45:09 01:18:47:05
What did he do?
0679 01:18:48:10 01:18:53:15
That was the strange part.
He was very interested in guns.
0680 01:18:53:18 01:18:58:24
Pistols, especially, and we sold
many starting pistols then.
0681 01:18:59:02 01:19:03:02
He was interested in them
and bought a lot of them.
0682 01:19:04:15 01:19:08:13
He asked about certain technical
characteristics related to them.
0683 01:19:09:17 01:19:13:23
He collected quite many of them.
I think he bought some air guns, too.
0684 01:19:14:01 01:19:17:23
Yes, but mostly starting pistols.
-Yes.
0685 01:19:18:01 01:19:21:13
Did you ever ask why he was interested in those guns?
0686 01:19:21:16 01:19:25:01
No, we didn't ask.
-I didn't have the nerve.
0687 01:19:25:04 01:19:29:03
We didn't dare to ask
a question like that directly.
0688 01:19:29:06 01:19:34:19
But I guess that he was searching...
0689 01:19:37:07 01:19:42:17
for some kind of explanation or solution.
-Why did Pekka do what he did.
0690 01:19:42:20 01:19:50:12
It was his way of trying to understand
or cope with it...
0691 01:19:50:15 01:19:52:16
and to figure it out for himself.
0692 01:19:54:24 01:19:59:17
Did he ever say anything to you about the shooting?
0693 01:19:59:20 01:20:07:18
No, he didn't.
-Yes, to me he did, he mentioned it.
0694 01:20:08:14 01:20:13:07
He was emotional on that occasion.
I remember him talking.
0695 01:20:13:10 01:20:17:00
You were here too,
he had his family with him.
0696 01:20:17:03 01:20:21:10
I didn't see the kids.
-Okay, so I was alone.
0697 01:20:21:13 01:20:29:02
He told me straight away
that he didn't blame us in any way...
0698 01:20:29:05 01:20:31:07
for what happened.
0699 01:20:31:10 01:20:39:14
It was as if he had to get it off
his chest, the fact that he didn't blame us.
0700 01:20:39:17 01:20:44:12
Not from any perspective,
as far as the incident is concerned.
0701 01:21:03:05 01:21:08:00
It was like, in that sense, inexplicable...
0702 01:21:09:07 01:21:12:16
to think that so many people had died.
0703 01:21:12:19 01:21:20:02
I often asked myself:
Why couldn't Pekka just kill himself?
0704 01:21:21:02 01:21:25:02
I could only think
about it all as a father.
0705 01:21:26:05 01:21:31:13
I could only think about Pekka. I wasn't able
to think about any of the others.
0706 01:21:49:06 01:21:52:23
Did you ever meet Pekka in real life?
-No.
0707 01:21:53:01 01:21:59:21
He was... I think we were both at that time very troubled...
0708 01:21:59:24 01:22:07:12
and uncomfortable with being around people.
0709 01:22:14:13 01:22:18:14
At least in the beginning I always thought that...
0710 01:22:19:20 01:22:23:17
it was something that I could have done.
0711 01:22:23:20 01:22:29:24
That I failed to act.
0712 01:22:30:24 01:22:35:08
But the longer I spent thinking about it...
0713 01:22:35:11 01:22:40:23
And the more time has past since the incident
0714 01:22:41:04 01:22:47:07
The more I realized that I could not have done anything.
0715 01:22:47:10 01:22:51:12
Of course it would have been possible that
we would fall madly in love...
0716 01:22:51:15 01:22:55:21
and the world would be such a wonderful place afterwards.
0717 01:22:58:06 01:23:00:22
But things obviously don’t happen that way.
0718 01:23:02:20 01:23:05:23
I did have a crush on him.
0719 01:23:06:23 01:23:10:05
It was the morning of...
0720 01:23:11:11 01:23:12:22
November 7th.
0721 01:23:13:00 01:23:16:23
I remember I was writing in my journal,
before the class started.
0722 01:23:17:01 01:23:22:03
And I wrote down that Pekka is the kind of person I could see myself in a relationship with.
0723 01:23:22:24 01:23:24:20
And yes...
0724 01:23:36:06 01:23:39:13
Everyone was saying like, that I could not have done anything.
0725 01:23:39:16 01:23:42:09
But I thought, how the hell would you know.
0726 01:23:43:12 01:23:44:23
So...
0727 01:23:46:16 01:23:51:08
In April, I thought: I’m going to ask someone who would know that.
0728 01:23:51:11 01:23:55:08
I remember reading about Kip Kinkel...
0729 01:23:55:11 01:24:01:00
And him shooting his parents and then going on a
school shooting spree in his school.
0730 01:24:01:03 01:24:05:04
I remember that he was still alive and in prison.
So I thought that I’m going to write him...
0731 01:24:05:07 01:24:09:22
And ask him if there was something that
his friends could have done.
0732 01:24:10:17 01:24:13:05
Surprisingly enough he answered.
0733 01:24:14:06 01:24:20:04
And told me that there was nothing that
his friends could have done.
0734 01:24:20:07 01:24:24:21
And he is absolutely positive that there was nothing that I could have done either.
0735 01:24:29:16 01:24:31:09
I think...
0736 01:24:35:10 01:24:42:14
Even if you are close friends with someone,
you only get bits and pieces of their life.
0737 01:24:42:17 01:24:48:21
You don’t get the bigger picture or the whole picture
of what their life is like.
0738 01:24:48:24 01:24:51:17
Of what they are dealing with.
0739 01:24:53:17 01:24:56:10
Everyone is sort of wearing a mask.
0740 01:24:57:10 01:24:58:21
And they...
0741 01:25:00:16 01:25:03:18
Choose what they let their friends see.