FEMMEFILLE
(Langfassung 24fps)

Listing der englischen Untertitel

 

 

10:00:21:15 One day, while my mother

10:00:26:00 was out feeding the animals,

 

10:00:26:22 I found a dress,

10:00:30:14 right at the back of my cupboard.

 

10:00:33:10 I put it on and walk over

10:00:37:18 to the big mirror in my room.

 

10:00:39:10 This dress is different than

10:00:43:12 all my other clothes, so beautiful!

 

10:00:44:10 I hardly recognize myself.

10:00:46:10

 

10:00:48:01 I talk to my reflection,

10:00:51:14 to the one I see in the mirror.

 

10:00:52:11 As though to another little girl.

10:00:55:00

 

10:00:56:18 She replies

10:00:58:03

 

10:00:58:09 that her name is Rebecca,

10:01:01:16 and that she is as old as I am.

 

10:01:03:09 I think she's very pretty.

10:01:05:02

 

10:01:05:12 Much prettier than me.

10:01:07:09

 

10:01:12:16 We instantly become friends.

10:01:14:14

 

10:01:16:08 Rebecca's life is so much

10:01:19:15 different than mine.

 

10:01:21:00 She goes to school, ...

10:01:22:12

 

10:01:23:07 has many friends.

10:01:24:18

 

10:01:25:13 She is free ...

10:01:28:08 to do as she pleases.

 

 

10:01:29:20 For example, to go out.

10:01:31:15

 

 

10:01:32:17 She opens the door

10:01:35:12 that leads to the garden ...

 

10:01:53:06 In Italy, photographer

10:01:54:15

 

10:01:54:21 Oliviero Toscani, famous

10:01:58:15 for his scandalous campaigns,

 

 

10:01:58:21 shocks with a new campaign:

10:02:02:16 it addresses anorexia

 

10:02:02:22 in the fashion world.

10:02:04:02

 

10:02:32:08 This woman is called

10:02:34:16 Isabelle Caro.

 

10:02:34:22 A necklace like mine would weigh

10:02:39:01 a ton around Isabelle Caro's neck.

 

 

10:02:40:06 Isabelle Caro, good afternoon.

10:02:42:06

 

10:02:42:12 That was quite something!

10:02:45:21 I did one show after the other -

 

10:02:46:04 France 2, France 3,

10:02:49:06 then TF 1 wanted to speak to me ...

 

10:02:49:12 On September 26,

10:02:52:03 things really ...

 

10:02:52:15 exploded.

10:02:54:00

 

10:03:00:13 Sure, I'm always on the go,

10:03:02:11

 

10:03:02:16 but I enjoy my new life

10:03:05:18 - very much so!

 

10:03:06:06 The hotels, the interviews ...

10:03:08:18

 

10:03:09:17 this totally new world.

10:03:12:00

 

10:03:27:18 I'm more self-confident

10:03:30:23 since Toscani ...

 

10:03:31:13 Were you scared at first?

10:03:33:13

 

10:03:33:22 At first yes, but

10:03:37:04 then I liked it.

 

10:03:55:20 Live your life!

10:03:57:18 - Thank you.

 

10:04:05:23 I realized that it was my duty to do it.

10:04:09:00

 

10:04:09:11 So I presented myself, and that's

10:04:13:21 how the photo came to be.

 

10:04:35:00 It's a mission!

10:04:36:14

 

10:04:37:01 A mission to overcome

10:04:40:21 and show to the world:

 

10:04:41:03 everything's possible if

10:04:45:00 you believe in it. If you love life,

 

10:04:45:05 if you embrace life, if you devour it,

10:04:48:03

 

10:04:48:09 if you savor it

10:04:51:10 every second, every minute!

 

10:04:51:16 If you work hard for it.

10:04:54:00

 

10:04:54:06 And I work hard for it!

10:04:55:23

 

10:04:56:06 I will show everyone!

10:04:57:16

10:05:08:08 Are you OK?

10:05:09:11

 

10:05:09:18 Yes, a bit ...

10:05:11:00

 

10:05:12:06 stressed, I hardly slept.

10:05:14:03

 

10:05:15:00 Hardly at all.

10:05:16:06

 

10:05:18:00 You won't believe

10:05:20:17 how this wears me down.

 

10:05:20:23 It will get better, you'll see.

10:05:23:13

 

10:05:23:19 Today is the worst day of all.

10:05:26:18 - Yes.

 

10:05:26:24 It's a real ...

10:05:28:03

 

10:05:29:01 nightmare today.

10:05:30:12

 

10:05:32:01 But we're here together.

10:05:33:18

 

10:05:34:10 Aren't we?

10:05:35:12

 

10:05:36:01 Yes.

10:05:38:00 - That's how she wanted it.

 

10:05:38:05 Yes, but ...

10:05:39:15

 

10:05:41:03 still, it's so hard.

10:05:42:15

 

10:05:46:20 Indeed, we'll see ...

10:05:50:15 - We all live, and then we have to die.

 

 

10:05:51:10 It's true, but still ...

10:05:52:22

 

10:05:54:06 It shouldn't be like this.

10:05:57:00 Not like this!

 

10:05:58:00 It's not normal.

10:05:59:10

 

10:06:26:17 My angel,

10:06:29:12 why did you leave us?

 

10:07:21:13 Today is a big day:

10:07:23:22

 

10:07:24:03 two film directors have

10:07:27:03 arrived from New York

 

10:07:27:09 to do a short film about me.

10:07:30:09

 

10:07:30:18 About my life,

10:07:32:08

 

10:07:32:13 but this time, from another perspective.

10:07:35:06

 

10:07:35:11 a more positive approach -

10:07:39:13 focusing more on my artistic side,

 

10:07:39:19 my passions, my expectations,

10:07:41:22

 

10:07:42:02 my work as an actress.

10:07:44:09

 

10:07:44:15 Many things from my life ...

10:07:46:12

 

10:07:47:06 Things, which ...

10:07:48:18

 

10:07:49:10 no one knows as yet.

10:07:51:00

 

10:08:12:21 The story of my life is really

10:08:16:11 split into two periods.

 

10:08:17:06 There was a happy period,

10:08:21:01 which lasted until I was four.

 

10:08:21:07 My mother was still well then,

10:08:24:18 she didn't have problems.

 

10:08:25:07 A great time, because I was allowed

10:08:28:15 out in the garden.

 

10:08:29:14 Later I was no longer allowed to do that.

10:08:33:18

 

10:08:35:20 Then my mother became ...

10:08:37:18

 

10:08:38:02 It was truly hell!

10:08:40:03

 

10:08:41:15 That's me, at the age of two.

10:08:44:10

 

10:08:44:16 A happy time.

10:08:47:06 Everything was all right then.

 

10:08:47:12 My mother did not yet have her

10:08:51:22 depressions. Everything was normal.

 

10:08:52:03 I didn't yet have any eating disorder then.

10:08:56:06 I used to eat heartily.

 

10:08:56:19 Everything was happy, good.

10:09:00:00 It was pure happiness.

 

10:09:01:19 There ...

10:09:02:20

 

10:09:04:12 Done!

10:09:05:18

 

10:09:06:02 Today is a beautiful day.

10:09:07:22

 

10:09:08:13 After this short film,

10:09:11:16 which is not yet completed,

 

10:09:11:23 the directors will come

10:09:14:19 back here again

 

10:09:15:00 to film the ...

10:09:16:19

10:09:17:20 stage preparations.

10:09:20:03

 

10:09:20:09 Because I've got good news:

10:09:23:00

 

10:09:23:15 I will show my final study project

10:09:27:00 at the Cours Florent,

 

10:09:27:06 with one of their directors.

10:09:29:21

 

10:09:31:00 It's the play

10:09:33:23 "4.48 Psychosis", by Sarah Kane.

 

10:09:34:04 It's not an easy play to act,

10:09:37:03 very emotional,

 

10:09:37:09 but it allows me to show

10:09:40:01 what I'm capable of -

 

10:09:40:10 much of it, I've experienced myself. So ...

10:09:43:06

 

10:09:43:15 I think, it will be ...

10:09:45:05

 

10:09:45:12 difficult.

10:09:46:19

 

10:09:47:09 But I'll do my very best.

10:09:49:12

 

10:10:41:06 A dream part ...

10:10:43:22 - My dream part?

 

10:10:44:03 as an actress, what would that be?

10:10:46:07

 

10:10:47:05 A role that has got nothing to do

10:10:51:02 with my illness.

 

10:10:51:08 Up to now, I've mostly played

10:10:54:01 the part of girls,

 

10:10:54:06 who suffer from tuberculosis,

10:10:58:12 or people who have cancer,

 

10:10:58:18 because my look

10:11:01:12 lends itself for such parts.

 

10:11:01:18 But I'd really like to play a part ..

10:11:04:05

 

10:11:04:19 a young girl, who ...

10:11:06:21

 

10:11:07:08 Well, a girl, who is the total

10:11:10:18 opposite of me.

 

10:11:10:24 A strong woman,

10:11:12:14

 

10:11:12:19 a belligerent woman.

10:11:14:10

 

10:11:14:16 This aspect is hidden inside me,

10:11:18:22 and I would like to bring it to light.

 

10:11:39:08 Is it possible that someone ...

10:11:41:17

 

10:11:42:18 could be borne in the wrong body?

10:11:45:00

 

10:11:47:00 Do you think it is possible that someone

10:11:49:12

 

10:11:50:08 is born at the wrong time?

10:11:52:10

 

10:11:59:08 Go fuck yourself! You make me feel

10:12:03:16 as if I'm a piece of shit.

 

10:12:05:10 My mother can go to hell!

10:12:09:00 She ruined my life.

 

10:12:09:06 And to hell with my father

10:12:13:14 for not leaving her!

 

10:12:13:20 But above all you! Go to hell!

10:12:16:03

 

10:12:16:09 Go to hell!

10:12:18:00

 

 

10:12:19:08 You still have to be more expressive.

10:12:21:18

 

10:12:22:23 Try to ...

10:12:25:08 You know, you should ...

 

10:12:25:21 It is a very urgent matter for her ...

10:12:28:14

 

10:12:29:13 She has this inner urge

10:12:33:13 to say it out loud before she dies.

 

10:12:34:07 Sure, she suffers, and all of that.

10:12:38:00 But she is much stronger.

 

10:12:39:04 She is still around

10:12:40:14

 

10:12:40:19 to put it all into words.

10:12:42:16

 

10:12:43:13 That is the idea

10:12:46:11 that you have to bring across!

 

10:12:49:18 She's not drifting ...

10:12:51:02

 

10:12:52:17 What do you mean by that?

10:12:54:04

 

10:12:58:04 She's not on in this mode:

10:13:02:08 "Look at me, I'm suffering ..."

 

10:13:05:15 You know, a bit ...

10:13:09:00 - I'll sit down over there.

 

10:13:09:06 Do you want me to go?

10:13:13:02 - No, it's OK, we'll manage like this?

 

10:13:51:07 We're ready.

10:13:52:11

 

10:13:56:05 When you spoke about this campaign,

10:14:00:10 you also said that

 

10:14:00:16 you were not concerned about

10:14:04:02 getting famous in this way,

10:14:04:07 but ...

10:14:05:10

 

10:14:05:16 rather about a message.

10:14:07:20

 

10:14:08:01 And if you were more famous,

10:14:12:06 the message would carry more weight.

 

10:14:12:18 Yes, it can be quite an advantage

10:14:15:23

 

10:14:16:04 to work with someone who is

10:14:20:15 as famous as Toscani.

 

10:14:20:21 The message then has a more

10:14:24:13 powerful effect.

 

10:14:29:23 15 square meters,

10:14:32:18 that's not very big,

 

10:14:32:24 but it's better than nothing ...

10:14:35:05

 

10:14:35:18 Here, I've got a tiny kitchen,

10:14:39:03 a bathroom ...

 

10:14:40:11 I had to choose.

10:14:42:21

 

10:14:54:16 Today is going to be

10:14:57:05 a very tough day again.

 

10:14:58:20 My big suitcase is always packed and ready

10:15:01:10

 

10:15:01:16 for the next trip abroad.

10:15:03:18

 

10:15:05:21 I've got quite a lot right now.

10:15:07:20

 

10:15:08:00 It's only work, work, work

10:15:10:21 all the time.

 

10:15:11:02 But I really enjoy it,

10:15:12:17

 

10:15:12:22 and there's still so much to do!

10:15:15:00

 

10:15:15:14 So this is Paris.

10:15:17:06

 

10:15:18:07 That's all for now.

10:15:19:23

 

10:15:28:17 Have you had your

10:15:32:12 freckles for a long time?

 

10:15:32:18 Yes, for many years.

10:15:34:18

 

10:15:35:04 At that time, ...

10:15:36:16

 

10:15:36:22 I was about nineteen.

10:15:38:15

 

10:15:41:15 When I was a kid, my mother

10:15:45:22 used to paint these little street urchins.

 

10:15:46:18 I'm sure that had an impact on me -

10:15:49:13

 

10:15:49:19 these Paris urchins with

10:15:53:08 their freckled faces.

 

10:15:53:14 I'm sure! I used to have

10:15:56:15 freckles myself,

 

10:15:56:21 but they were tiny

10:15:59:10 and almost invisible.

 

10:16:01:06 I always admired

10:16:04:06 my mother very much.

 

10:16:04:13 She was truly ...

10:16:06:00

 

10:16:06:18 everything for me.

10:16:08:05

 

10:16:10:22 I loved it when she painted,

10:16:14:15 because then she didn't cry.

 

 

10:16:17:10 I never told her how much

10:16:20:21 I suffered because of it.

 

10:16:21:02 She used to say to me,

10:16:24:20 "You are all I have in this world."

 

10:16:25:01 I didn't want to disappoint her.

10:16:28:22 Under no circumstances.

 

10:16:29:12 I didn't want her to know

10:16:33:15 how unhappy I was, that I suffered.

 

10:16:40:22 Christmas 1991

10:16:43:08

 

10:16:44:22 Melody's Misadventures

10:16:47:09

 

10:16:50:16 This book

10:16:53:15 tells the story of my life.

 

10:16:53:21 I hope you'll like it.

10:16:56:00

 

10:16:58:10 I owe all of it

10:17:01:22 to my mother, she was always ...

 

10:17:03:00 so good to me.

10:17:05:19 Thank you. Melody"

 

10:17:09:12 My name is Melody

10:17:12:17 and I'm 11 years old.

 

10:17:12:22 I was born on

10:17:15:17 September 9, 1980.

 

10:17:16:15 I've got blue eyes, brown hair ...

10:17:19:04

 

10:17:19:09 and I live in Bréval, close to Paris.

10:17:22:00

 

10:17:23:14 What I'm like? Naughty,

10:17:26:03

 

10:17:26:09 grumpy, impertinent,

10:17:28:12

10:17:28:19 loving, a cheat,

10:17:31:08

 

10:17:31:14 affectionate.

10:17:32:20

 

10:17:33:17 I'm an only child.

10:17:35:02

 

10:17:35:08 My mom's name is Mary,

10:17:38:08 and my dad's Christian.

 

10:17:38:14 Mom is 44 years old,

10:17:40:07

 

10:17:40:13 and Dad is 42.

10:17:42:02

 

10:17:42:15 Mom has brown hair and blue eyes,

10:17:45:00

 

10:17:45:06 Dad has brown hair and green eyes.

10:17:47:17

 

10:17:48:16 When I'm grown up,

10:17:52:04 I want to be a singer.

 

10:18:41:02 Let's get going:

10:18:42:09

 

10:18:42:21 Diction exercise.

10:18:44:13

 

10:18:47:13 What shall I do today?

10:18:49:11

 

10:18:50:02 A little warm-up exercise ...

10:18:52:18

 

10:18:55:02 Basically a matter of ...

10:18:56:20

 

10:18:58:04 loosening the tongue.

10:19:01:09

 

10:19:01:16 A few words ...

10:19:02:18

 

10:19:03:12 a bit like ...

10:19:04:23

 

10:19:05:13 a breathing exercise ...

10:19:07:06

 

10:19:12:20 "Cedar shingles should be

10:19:16:22 shaved and saved!"

 

10:19:17:03 "Cedar shingles should be ..."

10:19:20:20

 

10:19:21:01 "Cedar shingles should be

10:19:25:13 shaved and saved ..."

 

10:19:25:18 That's fine.

10:19:29:07 Oh, but this one is really tough.

 

10:19:29:13 I'm really struggling with it.

10:19:32:02 Let's go.

 

10:19:32:09 "The sixth sick sheik's

10:19:37:00 sixth sheep's sick." Damn!

 

10:19:38:16 Again:

10:19:39:20

 

10:19:40:03 "The sick sixth sheik's ..." Not again!

10:19:42:14

 

10:19:42:19 Just keep calm,

10:19:44:12

 

10:19:44:18 then it'll be all right.

10:19:46:07

 

10:19:46:19 "The sixth sheik's sick ..."

10:19:48:07

 

10:19:49:00 That's so irritating. It drives me mad!

10:19:51:17

 

10:19:52:17 She didn't have any problems,

10:19:55:11 but one day ...

 

10:19:56:07 I found her like this in her flat.

10:19:59:10

 

10:20:01:20 After a neighbor had phoned me.

10:20:05:10

 

10:20:06:09 He asked what the matter was with Melody

10:20:10:17 - the name she used at that time.

 

10:20:11:15 He had noticed that she'd

10:20:14:13 lost a lot of weight.

 

10:20:14:19 Meanwhile, I'd believed

10:20:17:18 she was away on a shoot.

 

10:20:19:00 For a stage production.

10:20:20:19

 

10:20:21:18 She had told us that she would be away

10:20:25:00 for a few weeks.

 

10:20:25:08 She phoned us every day, as usual.

10:20:27:21

 

10:20:28:02 But instead, she had locked

10:20:31:12 herself up in her flat.

 

10:20:32:03 When I found her,

10:20:35:07 I was shocked to the core.

 

10:20:35:13 She weighed a mere 28 kg.

10:20:38:06

 

10:20:40:12 It was an incredible shock,

10:20:42:18

 

10:20:42:24 because when I last saw her,

10:20:46:16 a few weeks before,

 

10:20:46:22 everything seemed to be all right.

10:20:50:21 She weight around 40, 45 kg,

 

10:20:51:02 everything was fine.

10:20:54:03 - Just a few weeks before?

 

10:20:54:11 Yes, about ...

10:20:55:18

 

10:20:56:21 How many weeks?

10:20:58:06

 

 

10:20:59:13 Two months.

10:21:01:00

 

10:21:01:21 Two months! She told us that

10:21:05:09 she'd be away for two months.

 

10:21:07:02 We talked to her every day by phone.

10:21:11:07 Everything seemed to be all right.

 

10:21:11:13 But it was all make-believe.

10:21:13:16

 

10:21:14:10 Even her voice didn't give away

10:21:18:12 what she had been going through.

 

10:21:20:07 When I found her, I immediately

10:21:24:09 took her to the hospital.

 

10:21:24:15 She urgently needed help.

10:21:26:21

 

10:21:27:06 That was three years ago.

10:21:29:08

 

10:21:31:04 Just 3 years ago. I weighed only 25 kg,

10:21:34:19 when I fell into a coma.

 

10:21:35:04 It was really horrible.

10:21:38:08 Really horrible!

 

10:21:38:14 The doctors didn't give any prognosis.

10:21:42:19 I had a catheter.

 

10:21:43:00 They couldn't find a vein

10:21:46:06 for drip-feeding.

 

10:21:47:06 Where are the scars?

10:21:49:06 - Here.

 

10:21:50:13 Yes, it's very sad to talk about it.

10:21:53:08

 

10:21:53:19 It was really a very painful experience.

10:21:56:07

 

10:21:56:14 For four days I was in a coma.

10:21:58:19

 

 

10:21:59:00 Before my inner eye, I saw all these

10:22:03:22 journeys of which I have always dreamt.

 

10:22:04:03 In fact, I'm someone who loves life.

10:22:09:00 I want to live, I want to fight!

 

10:22:09:06 But there's this illness.

10:22:11:04

 

10:22:11:13 I didn't really take any notice of it.

10:22:16:16 I somehow believed that I was immortal.

 

10:22:16:22 Until I realized

10:22:20:03 that I might really die.

 

10:22:20:23 At that point, she couldn't handle it

10:22:25:06 anymore. That's the worst.

 

10:22:25:12 Who? - The mother couldn't

10:22:28:17 control her child anymore.

 

10:22:30:04 I think, that was the moment

10:22:33:18 when everything ...

 

10:22:34:21 got out of control.

10:22:38:13 Because it's true, up to ...

 

10:22:39:13 the age of twenty,

10:22:41:23

 

10:22:42:11 before our daughter became ill,

10:22:47:02 we always looked after her a great deal.

 

10:22:47:08 We did lots of things together.

10:22:50:07

 

10:22:50:14 But as of the day when she became ill,

10:22:54:09 it was a different life.

 

10:22:54:15 We had no influence over it anymore.

10:22:57:05

 

10:22:58:14 From that point on, everything changed.

10:23:01:01

 

 

10:23:02:18 You see?

10:23:03:21

 

10:23:04:10 Totally different.

10:23:05:13

 

10:23:15:23 After the coma, I moved to Marseille.

10:23:18:20

 

10:23:19:10 Up to that time I always lived in

10:23:22:09 Ile-de-France,

 

10:23:22:17 and now there was the sea, every day,

10:23:25:04

 

10:23:25:10 very, very present.

10:23:28:05 Too present!

 

10:23:32:00 All my shrinks advised me

10:23:35:10 to move away.

 

10:23:37:09 I think, my mother understood.

10:23:40:06

 

10:23:40:11 Even if it wasn't easy for her.

10:23:42:23

 

10:23:44:05 Gaining some distance

10:23:47:12 greatly helped us.

 

10:23:48:06 Our relationship

10:23:51:00 was far too symbiotic.

 

10:23:56:23 Now we get along much better.

10:23:59:06

 

10:23:59:12 It's quite fine

10:24:02:01 when we see each other.

 

10:24:02:07 We still have our quarrels,

10:24:05:19 but it's always been like that.

 

10:24:06:09 I see her very rarely,

10:24:08:11

 

10:24:08:17 to avoid falling in the same

10:24:13:08 old trap again.

 

10:24:13:14 You don't talk to her?

10:24:15:13

 

10:24:15:19 She phones me every day -

10:24:19:02 she worries about her child.

 

10:24:21:04 But I think, she now knows

10:24:25:06 that I need my own space.

 

10:24:50:20 Would you like a jacket?

10:24:52:09

 

10:24:52:21 No? Are you all right?

10:24:54:01

 

10:25:10:18 We're here because of ...

10:25:15:00 - Yes, hello. Welcome!

 

10:25:20:18 I'll show you the way.

10:25:22:04

 

10:25:22:21 I'm not wearing any makeup.

10:25:27:07 They told me to come without makeup.

 

10:25:27:16 Because they ...

10:25:28:23

 

10:25:30:00 want to do my face here.

10:25:31:21

 

10:25:32:02 Are you doing pictures for your book?

10:25:34:11

 

10:25:34:17 No, these are press photos.

10:25:38:06 And for the journalists.

 

10:25:40:18 How many photographers are going

10:25:45:03 to take pictures of you during the day?

 

10:25:45:09 Many, very many! An incredible lot.

10:25:48:06

 

10:26:44:15 Here are the pictures.

10:26:46:07

 

10:26:47:12 There are a few of them,

10:26:50:15 but I don't know if they're any good.

 

10:26:51:20 I think this is the one she liked best.

10:26:54:03

 

10:26:54:11 They are sexy, despite everything.

10:26:56:13

 

10:26:57:03 And she looks good in all of them.

10:26:59:05

 

10:27:03:15 This is the red one.

10:27:04:22

 

10:27:06:06 She had to change dresses

10:27:08:19 very quickly.

 

10:27:14:16 Here she's wearing the jeans,

10:27:18:02 with this top.

 

10:27:18:07 I like it, because

10:27:21:01 it doesn't show everything.

 

10:27:21:19 Just this ...

10:27:23:05

 

10:27:23:18 this strap. I think that's very sexy,

10:27:27:00 very beautiful.

 

10:27:27:20 Here I was too far away.

10:27:30:04

 

10:27:30:15 That's really very sad.

10:27:32:11

 

10:27:34:08 Now this is something else. That's ...

10:27:37:08

 

10:27:37:18 What's this?

10:27:39:00

 

10:27:39:06 This was ... at the hospital.

10:27:41:19

 

10:27:57:08 That's it.

10:27:58:11

 

10:27:58:17 She's not yet through with anorexia,

10:28:01:00

 

10:28:01:06 but she's fighting for herself and others.

10:28:03:23

 

10:28:04:05 How do I feel?

10:28:05:12

 

10:28:05:17 I feel a whole lot better today.

10:28:08:16

 

10:28:08:22 She said today that she was feeling better,

10:28:13:17 she's acting on stage and wrote a book,

 

10:28:13:22 in which she draws attention

10:28:17:17 to the dangers of anorexia.

 

10:28:18:08 People always ask me, how things

10:28:22:10 could go so far, and why,

 

10:28:22:16 and how it all started.

10:28:24:03

 

10:28:24:23 So I began to write it down

10:28:29:01 and to answer the questions,

 

10:28:29:07 but the answers

10:28:32:14 again led to new questions.

 

10:28:32:22 Because of all these questions

10:28:36:14 I then wrote the book.

 

10:28:36:20 It helped me to respond

10:28:39:09 more easily

 

10:28:39:17 and in greater depth.

10:28:41:16

 

10:28:49:01 I'm going to turn on the music. Music helps me to relax.

10:28:53:21 me in my work, helps

 

10:28:55:08 That's my ...

10:28:56:18

 

10:28:57:07 because ...

10:28:58:12

 

10:28:58:20 it helps me to think more clearly,

10:29:03:02 and besides, I love Schubert.

 

10:29:03:08 In the past, I had to make music,

10:29:07:21 but I still like classical music.

 

10:29:12:20 A bit louder, but not too loud.

10:29:15:08

 

10:29:16:15 Otherwise, it distracts me.

10:29:18:09

 

10:29:23:03 Note of the author and publisher:

10:29:27:15 To protect this work,

 

10:29:28:18 its value as a unique testimony

10:29:31:20 without hurting

 

10:29:32:00 the persons of whom

10:29:35:18 intimate details are disclosed in it,

 

10:29:37:11 we have decided to change

10:29:41:18 the names of these persons.

 

10:29:44:12 May the kind reader ...

10:29:46:06

 

10:29:46:12 forgive us this minor inaccuracy.

10:29:50:06

 

10:29:55:21 Certain details still have to be changed.

10:29:59:21 That's what I'm doing now.

 

10:30:00:02 I'm doing minor alterations,

10:30:02:12

 

10:30:02:18 which are really ...

10:30:04:13

 

10:30:06:05 important to me. I don't want

10:30:10:18 the truth to be compromised.

 

10:30:12:03 It's alas not style of

10:30:14:16 writing,

 

10:30:14:22 not my way of putting things.

10:30:16:21

 

10:30:17:02 They wanted it to read more easily,

10:30:20:00

 

10:30:20:18 but I'd have written things differently.

10:30:23:08

 

10:30:25:02 They're not my words,

10:30:28:12 but it's my story.

 

10:30:42:22 My life is turned upside down.

10:30:44:22

 

10:30:46:09 My mother falls

10:30:49:17 into bottomless despair.

 

10:30:50:14 It's a time of darkness,

10:30:53:12

 

10:30:53:22 nothing but pain,

10:30:55:05

 

10:30:55:10 solitude and captivity.

10:30:58:02

 

10:30:59:18 I don't understand what's going on.

10:31:01:20

 

10:31:02:12 Why is my mother crying all the time?

10:31:04:21

 

10:31:05:08 Did I do something wrong?

10:31:07:08

 

10:31:08:05 "You are all I'm living for.

10:31:10:19

 

10:31:11:04 You are all that's left to me.

10:31:14:15 My sole purpose in life."

 

10:31:15:03 That's what she said all the time.

10:31:17:06

 

10:31:35:04 This one ...

10:31:36:17

 

10:31:36:22 was painted by my wife.

10:31:38:19

 

10:31:39:18 That's Isabelle's.

10:31:41:05

 

 

10:31:42:15 Isabelle painted this one.

10:31:44:10

 

10:31:45:05 Oh, she painted it?

10:31:47:23 - Yes, she painted quite a lot.

 

10:31:48:06 This painting was made

10:31:51:13 by a Japanese painter,

 

10:31:52:00 up on the Montmartre in Paris.

10:31:54:12

 

10:31:55:00 This was done on her 17th birthday.

10:31:57:17

 

10:31:59:13 1985 ...

10:32:01:22

 

10:32:02:10 She must have been 17.

10:32:04:01

 

10:32:05:07 This clown here, was painted by my wife.

10:32:07:14

 

10:32:09:16 And this one too. All of these paintings

10:32:11:20

 

10:32:12:01 were done by her. In fact,

10:32:15:21 my wife did all of them.

 

10:32:23:22 Even when she only went shopping,

10:32:26:03

 

10:32:26:09 to the baker,

10:32:28:18 I had to wait inside the house.

 

10:32:28:23 I was not permitted to go out.

10:32:32:07 When we went to my ...

 

10:32:32:13 grandmother, I wore five layers of

10:32:36:03 clothes on top of each other.

 

10:32:36:08 Because someone on TV had said

10:32:39:04

 

10:32:39:11 that this helped children

10:32:43:09 to grow. That was one of ...

10:32:43:15 her phobias.

10:32:45:00

 

10:32:48:08 She always found a pretext

10:32:51:17 to keep me indoors,

 

10:32:51:23 not to allow me to leave the yard,

10:32:53:22

 

10:32:54:09 to go out into fresh air.

10:32:56:09

 

10:32:57:09 I was in total seclusion with her

10:33:00:04

 

10:33:00:09 and even received home schooling.

10:33:02:12

 

10:33:03:07 Beware of other children!

10:33:05:00

 

10:33:06:13 Until I was eleven, I only stayed

10:33:11:01 at home - locked up.

 

10:33:11:18 Locked up,

10:33:14:19 without seeing anyone.

 

10:33:22:08 Everything is going down the drain.

10:33:24:15

 

10:33:25:14 The house, which used to be so well-kept,

10:33:28:12

 

10:33:28:20 degenerates into a real waste dump.

10:33:31:03

 

10:33:31:13 She would only occasionally

10:33:35:02 run a vacuum cleaner

 

10:33:35:08 between mountains of clothes

10:33:38:12 and furniture. Dust

 

10:33:38:18 and disorder pervade

10:33:42:11 the house, like a mirror image

 

10:33:42:17 of the internal chaos

10:33:45:17 into which we sink.

 

10:33:55:21 She doesn't allow me to go to school,

10:33:58:03

 

10:33:58:09 because she wants me to play the violin.

10:34:01:03

 

10:34:01:11 An instrument you should

10:34:05:00 learn to play at an early age.

 

10:34:06:02 Later ...

10:34:07:06

 

10:34:07:22 it would secure me

10:34:10:17 a television career,

 

10:34:10:22 my mother promised me.

10:34:12:20

 

10:34:13:10 My teacher is

10:34:16:23 neither capable nor dedicated.

 

10:34:17:07 It took me months to

10:34:20:19 even play a note on the violin

 

10:34:21:00 that didn't sound as if a cat

10:34:25:09 was being skinned alive.

 

10:34:26:18 He would play a short piece,

10:34:30:18 and I then imitated his gestures.

 

10:34:30:24 It was more about pantomiming

10:34:35:04 than anything else. But still,

 

10:34:35:10 it is the main,

10:34:38:12 often the biggest ...

 

10:34:38:18 and mostly the only

10:34:42:09 distraction of my week.

 

10:34:43:01 She was thrilled

10:34:44:09

 

10:34:44:17 by the sound of the violin,

10:34:46:21

 

10:34:47:02 and she absolutely wanted

10:34:50:00 to play the violin.

 

 

10:34:50:08 We bought her

10:34:53:01 a totally tiny violin -

 

10:34:53:22 a quarter violin.

10:34:55:17

 

10:34:57:15 She started with lessons right away,

10:34:59:20

 

10:35:00:01 to learn how to play.

10:35:01:23

 

10:35:03:23 Do you play as well?

10:35:05:22 - No, no.

 

10:35:06:16 I don't play any instrument.

10:35:08:16

 

10:35:17:09 My parents took me to the Quartier Latin,

10:35:21:17 and I played outside the cafés.

 

10:35:22:21 Rue St. André des Arts, Place St. Michel,

10:35:27:00 Rue de la Huchette etc.

 

10:35:30:08 In my violin case I have a note saying

10:35:33:21

 

10:35:34:01 in print letters:

10:35:35:08

 

10:35:36:00 'For a present for my mother'

10:35:38:06

 

10:35:40:00 The money collected I hand to

10:35:44:12 my parents. I don't keep a single cent.

 

10:35:47:04 In the first year, it was great

10:35:51:22 being able to contribute to our upkeep.

 

10:38:35:10 If Joseph had not

10:38:38:07 been away all the time,

 

10:38:38:13 he would have stopped

10:38:41:21 Mom from locking me up.

 

10:38:43:12 How could he not have noticed

10:38:47:06 what was going on?

10:38:49:15 So why didn't he do anything about it?

10:38:52:04

 

10:38:52:21 Why doesn't he protect me?

10:38:55:07

 

10:38:56:22 The TV tells me that a real dad

10:39:01:18 wouldn't behave like that.

 

10:39:27:07 The journalists

10:39:30:15 must have asked a lot of questions

 

10:39:30:20 about the campaign?

10:39:32:05

 

10:39:32:10 It mostly depends on

10:39:35:05 what they want to show.

 

10:39:35:11 If they want to talk about

10:39:39:02 something, then properly.

 

10:39:39:08 And not just roundabout.

10:39:41:13

 

10:39:41:18 The photo itself doesn't mean anything

10:39:44:00

 

10:39:44:06 without the story behind it.

10:39:46:12

 

10:39:48:02 It will only take a minute.

10:39:50:16

 

10:39:58:11 Pierre Luigi.

10:40:00:00

 

10:40:06:11 Thanks a lot.

10:40:07:16

 

10:40:08:08 And here as well, please.

10:40:10:04

 

10:40:14:20 Thanks, Isabelle, thanks!

10:40:16:15

 

10:40:38:04 Thanks for attending so numerously.

10:40:40:12

 

 

10:40:40:18 And thank you for inviting me

10:40:44:18 to the Turin Book Fair.

 

10:40:46:12 My entire story is summarized

10:40:50:12 in this book.

 

10:40:50:18 It is difficult

10:40:54:11 to add to it, because ...

 

10:40:55:03 that would never end.

10:40:56:18

 

10:40:57:15 The story is not only

10:41:01:05 about anorexia, but -

 

10:41:01:14 about a girl,

10:41:04:20 who didn't want to grow up.

 

10:41:05:13 If you love beauty, literature

10:41:09:06 and poetry,

 

10:41:10:01 it's basically

10:41:13:00 like with a sculpture.

 

10:41:15:15 The essence of a sculpture

10:41:19:06 is actually never its form.

 

10:41:19:12 Liking a sculpture only

10:41:23:21 because of its form doesn't make sense.

 

10:41:24:02 Sculpture is only about the material.

10:41:26:06

 

10:41:26:12 The capability

10:41:29:03 of the material as such,

 

10:41:29:08 to be something else

10:41:33:00 than what it seems to be.

 

10:41:33:21 That's it. Don't look at the form

10:41:37:20 with Michelangelo. Nonsense!

 

10:41:38:01 Just look at the material!

10:41:39:22

 

10:41:57:11 Thanks a lot, Isabelle!

10:41:59:16

10:42:07:18 Don't take it amiss,

10:42:09:15

 

10:42:09:21 but when I saw your photo

10:42:13:07 in Toscani's campaign,

 

10:42:13:13 I almost envied you a bit.

10:42:16:19

 

10:42:17:00 That's horrible, because ...

10:42:19:06

 

10:42:19:15 It's also the paradox about it ...

10:42:24:00 If you have this illness ...

 

10:42:25:06 I think, once this illness gets stuck

10:42:29:00 in your head,

 

10:42:29:06 then you really

10:42:32:04 have to go to a hospital.

 

10:42:35:16 Yes, she's got the impression

10:42:39:04 that when the doctors tell her,

 

10:42:39:10 she must be prepared to suffer

10:42:43:12 a heart attack at any time,

 

10:42:43:18 that it's not true.

10:42:44:22

 

10:42:45:02 They tell her that since four years,

10:42:48:16 but she's doing well ...

 

10:42:48:21 I understand,

10:42:51:04 but one day it will come.

 

10:42:51:09 Because your body

10:42:54:17 gets weaker all the time.

 

10:42:54:22 Then comes the moment

10:42:58:21 when you can't go on anymore.

 

10:42:59:02 You get weak,

10:43:01:22 you lose your hair,

 

10:43:02:03 then your teeth ...

10:43:04:22 that's the sad truth.

 

10:43:05:03 And in the end,

10:43:08:00 there is certain death.

 

10:43:09:15 She wants to hug you.

10:43:11:06

 

10:43:13:03 Good luck to you! Get well soon!

10:43:15:18

 

10:43:19:20 Good bye.

10:43:21:11

 

10:43:22:06 In September you published your story.

10:43:26:00

 

10:43:27:01 Did it help you, personally? - Yes,

10:43:29:08

 

10:43:29:14 it did. And in this way I was able,

10:43:31:18

 

10:43:32:00 due to my long-standing suffering,

10:43:34:18

 

10:43:35:10 to also be of some use,

10:43:36:23

 

10:43:37:03 as a mouthpiece for others.

10:43:39:02

 

10:43:39:08 Thank you.

10:43:40:22

 

10:43:55:22 The truth about anorexia?

10:43:58:16 What does it lead to?

 

10:43:59:03 The nature of this illness,

10:44:01:20 the suffering it entails,

 

10:44:02:00 and the risk of dying any moment.

10:44:04:21

 

10:44:48:18 One more question,

10:44:51:23 then we'll let you go.

 

10:44:56:03 You write about

10:44:59:09 a very difficult childhood.

 

 

10:44:59:16 The relationships with your mother,

10:45:03:19 your biological father

 

10:45:04:00 and with the father, who raised you

10:45:08:18 were very difficult.

 

10:45:10:12 How did they react

10:45:14:12 after the publication?

 

10:45:14:18 Your three "parental elements"

10:45:18:01 what did they say?

 

10:45:18:07 And how do you get along

10:45:21:22 today, with the three of them?

 

10:45:23:09 My biological father didn't want

10:45:27:04 to know anything about it.

 

10:45:28:02 Once he recognized himself,

10:45:30:15 which he did,

 

10:45:30:21 my half-sister stopped me from

10:45:34:00

 

10:45:34:14 revealing more about him.

10:45:36:09

 

10:45:36:15 She said that

10:45:37:22

 

10:45:38:04 she lived a happy life and that

10:45:41:21 under no circumstances ...

 

10:45:42:12 she wanted to know more.

10:45:44:02

 

10:45:44:07 She said that it was

10:45:47:00 of no concern to her

 

10:45:47:06 and that she didn't want to ruin

10:45:51:04 her life with this matter.

 

10:45:51:10 I understood that.

10:45:52:18

 

10:45:53:12 She writes in her book

10:45:56:18 that I am not her father.

 

10:45:57:06 We've got tests to prove

10:46:00:18 the contrary.

 

10:46:03:14 After all, she was several

10:46:07:14 times in hospital,

 

10:46:07:22 and I repeatedly

10:46:09:12

 

10:46:10:08 took part in blood transfusions.

10:46:12:18

 

10:46:12:24 They did blood test, and there were

10:46:16:20 no issues. I am her father.

 

10:46:17:01 I think that's just ...

10:46:19:07

 

10:46:20:12 It seems to be part of the fantasies

10:46:24:03 of a young girl,

 

10:46:25:09 to wish for a father,

10:46:28:11 who's an artist ...

 

10:46:28:18 or whatever.

10:46:30:13

 

10:46:31:02 The real father

10:46:34:08 mostly comes off second best.

 

10:46:34:15 He's the one who scolds,

10:46:37:12 who complains,

 

10:46:37:24 who punishes.

10:46:40:16 But I've never done that.

 

10:46:41:05 The father is the one in charge,

10:46:44:22 that's why he's so unpopular.

 

10:46:46:14 And for me, the father is ...

10:46:48:21

 

10:46:49:10 the one, who ...

10:46:51:10

 

10:46:52:09 has raised the child.

10:46:55:11 - Yes.

 

10:46:56:16 That's the real father.

10:46:59:03 - Yes.

 

10:47:00:00 It's true! I believe that if you raise

10:47:04:21 a child and give this child everything,

 

10:47:05:10 then it really doesn't matter

10:47:08:21 if you're the father or not.

 

10:47:09:02 That's not the problem.

10:47:11:00

 

10:47:11:11 I think, the point is about

10:47:15:00 how you live your life,

 

10:47:17:00 about having a healthy child,

10:47:19:07

 

10:47:19:13 a daughter,

10:47:20:17

 

10:47:21:18 who is cheerful.

10:47:25:03 She was a very cheerful child,

 

10:47:25:09 full of joy for live and very bright.

10:47:28:11

 

10:47:28:17 We imbued her with this love

10:47:33:06 for music. She loved music so much.

 

10:47:33:15 She practiced for an incredible

10:47:36:12 number of hours.

 

10:47:36:21 She loved it.

10:47:38:04

 

10:47:38:09 She painted a lot and she loved it.

10:47:40:13

 

10:47:40:19 She did, whatever she felt like.

10:47:42:14

 

10:47:44:17 But perhaps ...

10:47:45:22

 

10:47:47:11 I didn't do enough,

10:47:50:01 or too much.

 

10:47:51:16 My real dad is an artist.

10:47:54:14

 

10:47:54:19 An artist,

10:47:57:19 with whom my mother was in love.

 

10:47:57:24 Her depressions started, when

10:48:02:01 it was all over. I was four at the time.

 

10:48:03:00 The holidays in Cannes,

10:48:06:23 maybe that's why I wanted to return ...

 

10:48:07:04 to the Croisette

10:48:08:17

 

10:48:09:12 and to the Mediterranean.

10:48:11:12

 

10:48:11:17 Especially the sea.

10:48:13:00

 

10:48:13:09 Do you know him?

10:48:14:18

 

10:48:15:03 Sorry? - Do you know him? - Yes.

10:48:17:08

 

10:48:17:14 After they separated,

10:48:20:20 they remained friends.

 

10:48:21:00 They fought a lot and reconciled again.

10:48:24:00

 

10:48:24:06 But we never had

10:48:26:19

 

10:48:26:24 discussions with him again.

10:48:28:18

 

10:48:29:01 Well, I don't really know ...

10:48:30:23

 

10:48:31:03 he must have known what was going on.

10:48:34:05

 

10:48:34:18 My mother was living at the same time

10:48:39:01 with my stepfather.

 

10:48:39:07 He accepted me as his daughter.

10:48:42:14

 

10:48:42:20 Does he know about it?

10:48:44:13

 

10:48:44:18 Yes, I think so.

10:48:46:06

 

10:48:46:12 He's not that dumb. - Do you feel it?

10:48:48:22

 

10:48:49:03 Yes, I felt that.

10:48:51:07

 

10:48:57:12 Isabelle changed her name,

10:48:59:17

 

10:49:01:06 when she was..

10:49:02:10

 

10:49:02:19 about 24, 25 years old. 25!

10:49:05:01

 

10:49:05:15 She was first named Melody.

10:49:07:20

 

10:49:10:07 Because ...

10:49:11:13

 

10:49:11:18 I was working as a sound engineer

10:49:15:11 with the singer Danyel Gérard.

 

10:49:25:05 In 1979 ...

10:49:29:17

 

10:49:30:23 we released the song "Melody Melody".

10:49:33:13

 

10:49:34:00 It was a huge success.

10:49:36:13

 

10:49:36:23 And when my daughter

10:49:39:18 was born in 1980,

 

10:49:40:05 we decided to call her Melody.

10:49:42:02

 

10:49:42:17 As a reminder of this song,

10:49:46:09 which had us all ...

 

10:49:46:21 going. So we were all

10:49:50:04 thrilled with this name.

 

10:49:53:04 You bring to our life

10:49:55:14

 

10:49:56:18 dreams and despair.

10:49:58:12

 

10:50:02:08 You come and you go,

10:50:03:19

 

10:50:04:19 always changing your tune.

10:50:06:13

 

10:50:11:20 You and ...

10:50:13:02

 

10:50:13:10 You and your family, for how many years

10:50:17:18 did you live with him?

 

10:50:17:24 Well, I stayed on his property ...

10:50:21:00

 

10:50:21:23 for four years.

10:50:23:03

 

10:50:24:00 My daughter was also born there.

10:50:26:03

 

10:50:28:09 Danyel Gérard is also her godfather.

10:50:30:14

 

10:50:31:04 I stayed at first in his place,

10:50:33:08

 

10:50:33:14 then we moved and

10:50:36:21 stayed on the adjacent property.

 

10:50:37:09 I built my house next to his,

10:50:41:00 we were next-door neighbors.

 

10:50:41:08 That was very practical ...

10:50:43:08

 

10:50:43:14 Indeed, for our collaboration.

10:50:45:20

 

10:50:52:17 I don't know if I will find it again.

10:50:55:03 - No!

 

10:50:55:10 Stop?

10:50:56:21 - There.

 

10:50:58:05 That's it.

10:50:59:06

 

10:50:59:18 What is this?

10:51:00:23

 

10:51:01:22 It's a song she composed

10:51:05:04 for Danyel Gérard.

 

10:51:05:20 Really?

10:51:07:05 - Yes.

 

10:51:07:11 And the title of this song is,

10:51:10:00

 

10:51:10:11 "Like a Clown".

10:51:12:12

 

10:51:13:00 Who composed this song?

10:51:15:18 - Isabelle.

 

10:51:19:01 She composed this ...

10:51:21:03

 

10:51:21:11 this melody for Danyel Gérard.

10:51:24:02

 

10:51:24:20 This song is about a clown,

10:51:27:23

 

10:51:28:07 a very sad clown.

10:51:29:22

 

10:51:38:13 The dilapidated house.

10:51:40:01

 

10:51:41:08 We lived in this remote house,

10:51:44:22 behind the scrap in the yard.

 

10:51:45:05 That was our home.

10:51:46:22

 

10:51:49:03 The rain came in through the roof,

10:51:52:00 it was cold.

 

10:52:18:23 What scares you most, when you

10:52:22:19 listen to the news? - The lies!

 

10:52:22:24 The lies?

10:52:24:03

 

10:52:24:09 That's exactly

10:52:27:08 what I want to fight against.

 

10:52:27:13 It's hard, because there are

10:52:31:07 many victims out there, but the lies

 

10:52:31:22 make me angry. Really angry!

10:52:35:14 - Are there things

 

10:52:35:19 we don't know about? Are we being

10:52:40:01 kept in the dark? - No, I think,

 

10:52:40:07 we have come to the point

10:52:44:00 where dishonesty is a common thing.

 

10:52:45:08 I believe it's quite extreme.

10:52:47:07

 

10:52:47:12 There are still people who don't lie

10:52:51:15 and who do wonderful things.

 

10:52:51:21 Like scientists, for example.

10:52:55:18 They are my greatest heroes.

 

10:52:56:00 Or people who get involved

10:52:59:14 in foundations, or work for

 

10:52:59:20 the elderly or kids.

10:53:01:02

 

10:53:01:07 I'm also concerned about what

10:53:05:08 we expect, especially from kids.

 

10:53:05:14 Children are our future!

10:53:08:04

 

10:53:12:06 Through the aquarium, which

10:53:16:02 sections off part of the living room,

 

10:53:16:12 I see my mother

10:53:20:00 wrapped in the arms of her idol.

 

10:53:22:06 Tears slowly run across her face.

10:53:26:03

 

10:53:27:10 Is she crying with joy

10:53:30:12 or is she sad?

 

10:53:31:21 I don't know.

10:53:33:06

 

10:53:35:03 It seems as if this evening

10:53:39:04 marked the end of the liaison

 

10:53:39:14 between Magdalene and her idol.

10:53:41:19

 

10:53:43:21 From this moment on ...

10:53:45:08

 

10:53:46:07 she only had sporadic contact

10:53:49:09

 

10:53:49:14 with her ex lover.

10:53:51:06

 

10:53:52:13 But her passion for him remained

10:53:54:20

 

10:53:55:01 and for his songs,

10:53:58:12 which accompanied my childhood.

 

10:54:01:23 every day ...

10:54:04:13

 

10:54:05:12 we enjoy

10:54:07:23

 

10:54:09:01 of the life

10:54:10:20

 

10:54:12:12 that we run through ...

10:54:15:03

 

10:54:15:10 like on quicksand.

10:54:17:23

 

10:54:18:22 But we get along ...

10:54:22:04

 

10:54:51:23 Since childhood I've hated

10:54:55:06 my nose, mouth and chin.

 

10:54:56:02 My mother always wanted me

10:55:00:02 to wear a scarf -

 

10:55:00:12 I guess, because they were so ugly.

10:55:02:17

 

10:55:03:14 My nose is too big

10:55:05:11

 

10:55:05:20 and too long.

10:55:06:23

 

10:55:07:07 And my lips are too full,

10:55:09:00

 

10:55:09:05 and my chin is too weak.

10:55:10:23

 

10:55:11:16 Every time, I look into the mirror,

10:55:14:15

 

10:55:15:03 I automatically pull

10:55:18:16 a disgusted face.

 

10:55:19:19 I dream of having

10:55:23:07 cosmetic surgery on my face,

 

10:55:23:12 to erase the obvious traces

10:55:24:24

 

10:55:25:04 of growing up.

10:55:27:03

 

10:55:28:23 The nose, which is too prominent,

10:55:31:03

 

10:55:31:09 the lips that are too full ...

10:55:32:20

 

10:55:33:11 The chin operation

10:55:34:23

 

10:55:35:06 to give my face a

10:55:38:12 more determined look.

 

10:55:39:12 Only cosmetic surgery

10:55:42:12 can save me.

 

10:55:44:23 Because I cannot go on

10:55:47:18 living like this.

 

10:55:49:05 I'm also convinced

10:55:51:17

 

10:55:51:22 that a remodeled face will

10:55:53:14

 

10:55:53:19 make me feel better

10:55:55:07

 

10:55:55:12 and resolve my nutritional problems.

10:55:58:12

 

10:56:04:16 Day by day, the notion grew

10:56:08:19 stronger and stronger in my mind.

 

10:56:09:00 Up to the radical conclusion:

10:56:12:03

 

10:56:13:00 either cosmetic surgery or death.

10:56:15:11

 

10:56:50:22 I only saw her afterwards again.

10:56:53:15

 

10:56:54:16 We had agreed to meet in Paris, and ...

10:56:57:07

 

10:56:57:13 suddenly there was a girl

10:57:00:11 with a different face.

 

10:57:00:17 It was strange.

10:57:02:00

 

10:57:03:00 Very strange!

10:57:04:08

 

10:57:06:21 She had a different nose,

10:57:10:01 different lips ...

 

10:57:11:05 She looked totally changed!

10:57:14:01

 

10:57:14:13 And extremely thin as well.

10:57:17:11

 

10:57:17:21 It was really quite strange!

10:57:19:18

 

10:57:21:15 Her mother and I, we were really

10:57:25:12 shocked to see her like this.

 

10:57:26:13 Yes, that's good. Don't move!

10:57:28:10

 

10:57:31:19 Very good, look at me!

10:57:33:09

 

10:57:34:10 Yes, very good, stay like this! Good!

10:57:37:13

 

10:57:38:17 Great! Another one.

10:57:40:02

 

10:57:42:05 It was indeed quite

10:57:45:12 a financial burden.

 

10:57:47:00 After all, I had

10:57:48:12

 

10:57:48:18 to pay for everything,

10:57:51:10

 

10:57:52:07 for the obligations she

10:57:55:06 had undertaken.

 

10:57:55:11 No, she couldn't afford it.

10:57:57:18

 

10:58:00:00 It was a lot of money.

10:58:02:00

 

10:58:03:12 So who paid ...

10:58:05:08

 

10:58:06:07 for the operation?

10:58:08:04

 

10:58:09:12 Me.

10:58:10:13

 

10:58:20:13 I told Mom that I wanted

10:58:25:00 to do a test recording

 

10:58:25:06 to see if I had talent.

10:58:27:08

 

10:58:27:18 She told Joseph about it,

10:58:31:15 and he was enthusiastic right away.

 

10:58:32:05 The master sound engineer,

10:58:35:22 would see to everything.

 

10:58:36:03 I didn't even ask for it.

10:58:38:12

 

10:58:39:10 So he phones the songwriter

10:58:43:12 of Mom's idol and his guitarist.

 

10:58:43:18 They compose a song for me.

10:58:46:06

 

10:58:47:06 The lyrics of the song

10:58:50:04 fit me like a glove:

 

10:58:50:16 'I only have my violin,

10:58:53:10 I'm nothing but my violin ...'

 

10:58:54:04 I hate it.

10:58:55:13

 

10:58:56:09 My mom loves it.

10:58:57:21

 

10:59:00:19 "Mozart.

10:59:01:21

 

10:59:02:02 Chopin.

10:59:03:04

 

10:59:03:14 Liszt.

10:59:04:15

 

10:59:05:13 These angels, which fall from heaven

10:59:09:01 like a shower of music,

 

10:59:09:19 spread the message of love and passion.

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