Like most of us, I'm afraid of getting old and of the loneliness
that seems to come with old age. But maybe things don't have to be that way.
Jordi is a young artist.
JORDI
PRONK, HUMANITAS RESIDENT: Hello, come in.
And he lives in a unique old folks home, in the Netherlands. He
paints and creates craft projects like this table he made from a piano crate.
REPORTER: And you do that a lot with the residents?
JORDI
PRONK: Yes, it's right to do it.
REPORTER: Is that a picture of your family?
JORDI
PRONK: My grandfather and my grandmother when I was younger.
REPORTER: Adorable.
JORDI
PRONK: I love them. I love them a lot.
REPORTER: Is it the relationship with your grandparents that
helps you be so good with the elderly here?
JORDI
PRONK: I think also because they teach me so much good things, how to go
around to people. Yeah, everything.
Not long ago, the Dutch senior citizens who live at Humanitas,
invited Jurrien and five other students to move in rent free. The students all
told me that living here was nothing like you'd expect.
JURRIEN
MENTINK, HUMANITAS RESIDENT (Translation): I was lucky to be one of the first
students to apply, but I didn’t know that at the time. I responded quickly and
got a place.
JORDI
PRONK (Translation): It’s most important that we can all be ourselves and
so we all interact in different ways with the residents.
One of Jordi's favourite ways to spend time with his neighbours is
by taking them around the town of Deventer, in the specialised tandem bicycle.
It’s just one of the ways that Humanitas tries to make life in its community a
little more fun.
GEA
SIJPKES, CEO HUMANITAS (Translation): I want it to be the warmest and most
pleasant residence in Deventer. We can’t do this with extra personnel because
everyone knows this has to be done with less funding. And we have to make our
spending sustainable. So then I started thinking about making a connection with
education.
It was the CEO's Gea Sijpkes’s idea to offer the students rooms at
Humanitas and all she asked in return is that the students spend at least 30
hours a month acting neighbourly to the senior residents. Jurrien Mentink says that Humanitas' offer
couldn't have come at a better time. Many Dutch students in and around
Amsterdam today can't find a room to rent at all.
REPORTER: Now I'm off to cook dinner.
JURRIEN
MENTINK: Yes.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): Students struggle to find housing in the
Netherlands, especially in big cities like Amsterdam and Utrecht. I pay
nothing to live here.
Jurrien is 22 years old, and his neighbours like Joke Van Beek are
in their 80s and 90s. Despite the age gap, Jurrien and Joke's friendship has a
dynamic that often seems like it's between two teenagers.
JOKE
VAN BEEK, HUMANITAS RESIDENT (Translation): You were very quite, but I saw that
you came in late with a pretty girl.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): Exactly, she was pretty, wasn’t she?
JOKE
VAN BEEK (Translation): Yes. And did things go well?
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): Things went well. It was good. I escorted
her home like a gentleman.
JOKE
VAN BEEK (Translation): Oh, then you were a good boy!
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): A good boy, right? I thought I should do
that.
JOKE
VAN BEEK (Translation): What do you think of the student next door?
It’s great, he came to see me and it clicked right away. And he is very
polite and he checks up on me every day to see how I’m doing because I am not
so young anymore. I am 93 years old.
Friendships like this one are exactly what Humanitas is trying to
nurture. How Jurrien spends his 30 hours a month of service is up to him. His
official title isn't staff or volunteer, it's good neighbour.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): I really like these people are super. And I am reminded
over and over that they are just normal people.
At Humanitas good neighbour somehow means being part local,
part-friend, part-grandchild, part-social worker, part-healthcare provider, and
some days it means teaching an 84-year-old woman to play beer pong.
ANNIE
MIDDELBURG, HUMANITAS RESIDENT (Translation): Last week the game with the
little balls was so much fun. I don't know if you ever tried it. Ten cups on
one side, ten cups on the other side which they half-fill with beer... then you
have to try and throw a white ping-pong ball the ball in the beer and then you
have to drink it. They have modern music and then we join them!
GEA
SIJPKES (Translation): I think that the students influence the whole tone
of the conversation here...so that's it not only about death, sickness, and old
age...But that it's also about youth, about parties, about girlfriends.
JORDI
PRONK (Translation): Sometimes I am dating and I take somebody home at a
certain point. There are two residents that I always have to visit if I have a
new girlfriend. Then afterwards I hear how they really feel, what was good and
what was bad about her.
Later
you hear: "He has another girlfriend... he's doing well, he’s very
happy." Then I think to myself: "They seem to know more than
me". They are very curious and keep an eye on everything.
Really everything.
ANNIE
MIDDELBURG (Translation): We always ask him how it's going. He is very
romantic. Oh my - he spreads little hearts on the bed if he brings his
girlfriend home. And we laugh about it. Yes he is very romantic.
I noticed early on that the students here often talk with a sort
of calm beyond their years. They don't often seem in much of a hurry. Jurrien
says that that is one of the most important life lessons the students have
learned from their elderly neighbours.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): What I see from the elderly is that they really enjoy
the little things. While younger people are more focused on their future and
that they don't even notice things like how beautiful this park is, they are
just racing through it on their way to work or school.
TRIJNTJE
HOFSTEEDE, HUMANITAS RESIDENT (Translation): Be happy with what you still
have, don’t focus on what you can’t do anymore, but on what you can do and you
will be happy.
The students all talk about Mrs Hofsteede as a role model, for
living a full and happy life in later years. She moved in a few years ago.
TRIJNTJE
HOFSTEEDE (Translation): This is a warm place. You notice the warmth
right away, that makes it so special.
She lives on the 7th floor in a spacious room, overlooking the
part and she says she feels younger than her 88 years.
TRIJNTJE
HOFSTEEDE (Translation): Hello. We were married on 28th August,
1951.
At lunchtime the most social time every day at Humanitas, Mrs
Hofsteede always sits at the same table. You see the Humanitas dining room is a
lot like a high school cafeteria. Mrs Hofsteede is quite popular and so she
always sits with the other popular girls. Like her best friend Antonia, whose nickname
is the trash compacter.
REPORTER: Appetite, I like that.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): You would think an old people’s home would be old and
dusty, but I think it is just like high school. Every table has a particular
group that always sits there. This one is the nerdy table, and this one is for
the pretty girls, and then the football table with the tough guys, and this is
the group that does not belong anywhere.
Like high school, lunch time is when the rumour mill really starts
to turn. Outside of the time they volunteer, the students are free to live
without any special restrictions - going out or bringing people home, just as
they like.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): There is a lot of gossiping here. If one student brings
someone home…then the gossip starts, that new story spreads everywhere. One
time I brought a blond girl home, it spread lightning-fast through the home.
It’s crazy but also very funny.
And there's a lot more flirting that goes on than I expected to
find in an old folk's home.
JORDI
PRONK (Translation): What's quite funny is that there are quite a lot of women
living here, and they sometimes like to flirt with a young guy, you pass by and
they whistle or they wink at you, or they give you a little slap on the
behind. They all like doing that, and we know that they are just having
fun.
REPORTER (Translation): The students say that the ladies
flirt with the boys.
TRIJNTJE
HOFSTEEDE (Translation): That may well be.
REPORTER (Translation): And that’s fun?
TRIJNTJE
HOFSTEEDE (Translation): Of course. It’s all part of the game, isn’t
it?
The students all like teaching their senior neighbours a lesson
from time to time. Everything Mrs Middelburg knows about the internet, see
learned from Jurrien.
ANNIE
MIDDELBURG (Translation): Ah, this way you can see more, this is new to me.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): You can find all of it.
ANNIE
MIDDELBURG (Translation): Yes, but you need to know how. Don’t
forget I’m already 84!
Jurrien says that none of this feels like some community service.
He and Mrs Middelburg, they just like hanging out.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): We see each other quite often, I run into you
everywhere.
ANNIE
MIDDELBURG (Translation): Things are a lot more fun when we're all
together.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): We're good company.
ANNIE
MIDDELBURG (Translation): You hang out with them, and in the end they
become like your own sons…the way we talk and do things, you consider them like
your own family.
And how do Jurrien's own family feel about him living here at
Humanitas? His parents have been as surprised as he has been, to find that
Jurrien seems very happy here indeed.
MOTHER
(Translation): In the beginning we had our doubts. Do you want this? Can you do
it? Will you be happy here? It seems to be going very well and he feels like
his heart is in the right place.
There is, of courses the unavoidable loneliness that accompanies
dementia. The dementia ward is equipped with everything you could expect, but
it has little of the warmth of the rest of the residents. Jordi feels an added
responsibility to help those suffering dementia.
JORDI
PRONK (Translation): Sometimes you have explain to people that they may have
forgotten that their husband or their parents have already passed away. It's
always a surprise – and every time you see that pain come again. It's hard to
see those people intensely sad. Sometimes residents keep waiting for something
that is not there...and that is quite difficult. I try to explain as honestly
as I can and just comfort them.
Luxios is this man has a stage name, but I was never given another
one and I never got the chance to ask. We didn't get to talk for very long,
Luxios has lost the ability to talk much about the here and now.
LUXIOS
(Translation): Here are photos from me. I used to be a magician and I
often used animals in my act.
I saw Luxios immediately, a kind of kindred spirit and it was like
a glimpse of a possible future self, set adrift in my own fading memories. Having
exchanged barely a word with him, meeting Luxios affected me a great deal. The
hardest thing about living here, old or young, is how often death comes to
call. Some of the seniors are still wracked with intense longing for lost loved
ones.
REPORTER (Translation): What happened to your wife?
HENK
NORDER, HUMANITAS RESIDENT (Translation): Cancer.
Many others like Mrs Middelburg seem almost unfazed by the
realities of death.
ANNIE
MIDDELBURG (Translation): I've already had three people dying in their chairs
at dinner...But this happens. It doesn't worry me.
A few of the students had never seen death up close before living
here. For them, facing death has been the hardest and maybe most value lesson
that Humanitas has taught them.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): One experience that stuck with me was having a neighbour
who was 104 and who reached 105. In the end when I was in her room, she
suddenly gave me a hand...she was in bed, and wished me a good life, to get the
most out of it. She felt it was time to say goodbye and she was right because a
few days later she had passed away. This sticks with me, because I didn't know
it could be like that. It's a nice feeling to help them find their final
moments of happiness...
Jurrien is about to graduate from a degree in urban planning. He's
now considering devoting his career to old aged care instead.
JURRIEN
MENTINK (Translation): I think in the end it’s been very important for me, both
as a person and as something that will shape my future and my career.
No matter which direction he chooses from here, Jurrien won't
forget the importance of being a good neighbour like he has been to Joke Van
Beek. That day he told me that he had started to see the signs of Joke slipping
away, and then only a few weeks later, Joke passed on and I know that Jurrien
has missed her since she's been gone.
It took me a little while to grab hold of what makes this place
different than anywhere else I've been. Humanitas hasn't somehow cut out the
hard realities of ageing. It's just that it let's so much more than that
through its front door. As I went to say goodbye on the last day of my visit I
passed by the weekly wheelchair dance recital. This was the other moment that
really stayed with me. Again, I could see myself reflected back. Years on from
now, and for that moment, I really didn't mind the idea of getting old.
Video
Journalist/Editor
AARON LEWIS
Producers
MEGGIE PALMER
BERNADINE LIM
Researcher
JAMES ELTON-PYM
Music
VICKI HANSEN
Translations
MARGREET VAN DUIVENDIJK
MARIËTTE WOUDENBERG
VINCENT BUIJTENDIJK
Thanks
To
HUMANITAS
BOUDEWIJN BOLLMANN
3rd
May 2016