Dateline, Mexico’s Leading Ladies

Transcript

There's a long, dark shadow cast over this Mexican town. It’s not from living beneath a dormant volcano. Heartache is a permanent resident in most homes in San Francisco Tetlanohcan. Take Rosa, and her mother. Cooking feels empty because their absent sons can't share in the meal.

ROSA (Translation): 12 years. It's been 12 years since I've seen them.

Rosa's two sons left when they were just 18 and 16. She's asked me not to name them because they are undocumented migrants.

ROSA (Translation): This was one of their birthdays.

They went to find work in the US before they were even men and they haven't returned - not even for a holiday. Crossing the fortified US border again without papers is illegal, and far too dangerous.

ROSA (Translation): Well, the crossing with all the bullets flying around is very risky. There’s a lot of border police. And I wouldn’t let them cross the desert.

Rosa would love to visit her sons, but getting a visa for the US is almost impossible for ordinary Mexicans.

ROSA (Translation): Here.

So she hangs on to memories instead. She's left the room her boys grew up in almost as it was the day they left.

ROSA (Translation): Yes, most of this is theirs. There are even some clothes from when they were little. I feel like crying. That’s why I don’t come here often because… when I see them it breaks my heart.

More than 12 million Mexicans currently live in the US. Half of them are undocumented. Thousands of Mexican villages like this one have seen an exodus of men, leaving their loved ones waiting for a reunion that may never come. Across town I find myself in a different kitchen but listening to a similar story.

LUPITA (Translation): Actually my whole family are migrants. From my father to my brothers and finally my husband.

Lupita's husband was forced to leave because they were broke. One night thieves stole everything out of their repair business and then they were hit with medical bills.

LUPITA (Translation): We tried to make the workshop work again but didn’t make anything, we could barely pay the rent, we only just made the rent, my son got very sick. He had an operation, went to hospital twice. And this is what really broke us because we didn’t have money, and we had to sell a piece of land to pay for the hospital.

That was six years ago now, and her husband's planning on staying in the US for another four.

LUPITA (Translation): And it’s been very difficult because they are away from the family for many years and when they come back we don’t have much time with them because here life is very hard.

Year after year of missed anniversaries and birthdays, but the women here hold on to the dream of seeing their loved ones again and they are trying hard to make it happen. They have formed their own support group called CAFAMI to fight for the rights of both migrants and their families and they started performing theatre as both activism and therapy. But in a Shakespearean twist, they have discovered this might also get them into the USA.

WOMAN (Translation): Mum, please, there’s something I need to talk to you about.

They developed a play based on their own life experiences. It's called Casa Rosa, or The Pink House.

WOMAN 2 (Translation): We’ll talk about it when we get home for dinner. Now, get back to work.

They found out that if they get invited to perform in the US, maybe then they have a chance of getting visas as performing artists.

PLAY:

WOMAN (Translation):  It’s that…

WOMAN 2 (Translation): Son of a bitch I cut my finger!

WOMAN 3 (Translation): Oh, look, there’s a lot of blood…

They have given their theatre group an Indigenous name which translates to 'Brilliant Women of the Stars', and the plays message is that young people must stop migrating.

PLAY:

WOMAN (Translation): I said I’m going to the United States!

WOMAN 2 (Translation): What did you say?

WOMAN (Translation): Sorry what?

WOMAN 2 (Translation): I told you…

WOMAN (Translation): I heard you and I say no.  Sorry, what?

WOMAN 2 (Translation):  I told you…

WOMAN (Translation):  I heard you and I said no.

After months of talks, they have received invitations from four American universities. It's no guarantee they'll get visas, but it was enough to start preparing according to the group's leader, Monica.

MONICA (Translation): And everything got started with the trip, rehearsals, workshops. Beginning with the passports, some of them had trouble getting their passports issued, then all the documents for theirs USA visas.

No-one knows the exact figures, but Monica thinks close to 70% of families here have seen members leave for the US.

MONICA (Translation): Have you eaten?  Where are you? I can’t see you.

HUSBAND (Translation):  Your brother says that you caught me eating.

Coping with their long separation is something Lupita and her husband have had to work hard at.

LUPITA (Translation): He calls me three times a day. We have video calls. That’s been very helpful. It’s not the same clearly, but it lets us see our loved ones, if only from a distance.

HUSBAND (Translation):  And Johan?

LUPITA (Translation):  He went to play again. He called to say he was going to play in the fields until 3 but he’s not back yet.

REPORTER:  So how are you keeping love alive all this time?

LUPITA (Translation): First of all, I think it’s about trust - mutual trust. He trusts me, I trust him a lot. We’ve had small problems as a couple but always tried to work them out. There’s always gossip. We’ve tried to talk about it without shouting, just talk about it calmly and I think that’s what has helped us to maintain our relationship after six years apart.

For the women who stay behind, the only solace is that their men send money to give their families a better life. Rosa is showing me around the family piggery, something they would never have been able to afford without remittances from her brothers.

ROSA (Translation): Watch out!  They are working over there and send it here, so then he buys the pigs, they mate them and they come here to give birth.

Rosa's sons are also laying the foundations for their own return to Tetlanohcan, which can't come soon enough for Rosa.

ROSA (Translation): My sons bought this piece of land. All this.

REPORTER: It’s a big piece of land.

ROSA (Translation): Yes. By buying all of this, you can fit a very big house.

REPORTER:  Migration's had a huge impact on your family. Do you think of it as a blessing or awe curse?

ROSA (Translation): It’s a blessing that nothing has happened to them and immigration hasn’t caught them. That’s why I feel it’s a blessing. Because I pray a lot that nothing happens to them, that they won’t get caught and they’ll achieve their dreams.

ROSA PRAYS: Our Lady of Guadalupe, I only ask you to protect all our children who are in the USA. Don’t abandon them. 

Her prayers for their safety have so far been answered, but no-one knew if their prayers for a visa to the US were going to be heard.

ROSA (Translation): Saint Peter, please help us.

MONICA (Translation): The fact is we were very nervous, very, very nervous and I told them that, whether they give us a visa or not, we mustn’t show any emotion.

A good plan, but it was hard to hide their joy when the visas were granted.

MONICA (Translation): So when the first member got her visa, and she discreetly showed us, I relaxed and all the other women started clapping.

To celebrate getting this far, they are having a dinner together. Fidelia had tried and failed to get a visa in the past, which made today even sweeter.

FIDELIA (Translation): I was very emotional, very happy. My legs were shaking with joy.

Rosa is like a changed woman.

REPORTER:  So how many days until you see your kids?

ROSA (Translation): Four days. In four days I’ll see them, be able to hug them, kiss them… And I’m going to cry and tell them how much I love them. They’re the most important thing I have in the world. My children.
 
It's one day before the women fly to New York and it's the final rehearsal of their play.

PLAY:

WOMAN (Translation): Aren’t you tired of seeing the bad treatment you get over the border?

WOMAN 2 (Translation): Yes!

A play which is not only personal, but also political.

WOMAN (Translation): The days when the United States pretended to close the border while accepting those who could survive the ordeal of the desert must end now.

The play has not only got them US visitor visas - doing it has empowered the women, which is one of the group's main goals.

WOMEN (Translation): Justice!

ROSA (Translation): I was a very shy timid woman, nervous, very ashamed. I had never been on stage. But now that I’m in CAFAMI I feel like a different woman.

WOMEN: Bye Bye! Muchos Thank you very much

Rosa has one more thing to do before leaving to see her sons for the first time in 12 years.

ROSA (Translation): We’re here in Santa Anna buying some fish to cook and take it to my children for them to enjoy.

A true Mexican mother, Rosa is intent on cooking their favourite dishes and she's taking the special ingredients with her. It's hard to believe how much love is wrapped up in this one salted fish - but for Rosa, her son's happiness is all she can think of.

ROSA (Translation): I mean, I think that when I speak about my children my smile goes from here to here.

LUPITA (Translation): Can you bring me some things from the fridge?

Lupita is also busy packing. The women are leaving in just a few hours and you can feel their anticipation and that of their husbands in the US.

HUSBAND (Translation): Is everything ready?

LUPITA (Translation):  Yes, it’s all ready .

HUSBAND (Translation):  I couldn’t sleep last night, I was so excited.

LUPITA (Translation):   Neither could I.

MONICA (Translation): The hard work has borne fruit but we still have to get there and we hope the tour goes well.

Then finally it's time for this determined group of women to set off on the dream they have strived so hard to make a reality.

MONICA (Translation): We arrived at the airport, you know, 23 women with thousands of suitcases. We didn’t know the process, the tickets, where to go, what to do. It was chaotic. We’re grateful we didn’t lose anyone.

ROSA (Translation):  I haven’t slept a wink.

Some of these women have never been on a plane before. Bleary-eyed they arrive in New York's JFK airport at 6am, outside immigration, their loved ones are waiting, including Rosa's sons, who have a million things to say to their mum when she makes it through.

JOHNNY (Translation): So I really want to tell her I love her and have missed here. I think of her a lot, and when I see her I’ll give her lots of hugs and kisses, trying to make up for all those years in just a few seconds.

Lupita's husband is also here with a bunch of flowers. Now the men are the ones waiting. Husbands, sons, and even grandsons the women have never met and then the long separation is over.

ROSA (Translation): Oh, so, I’m here.

JOHNNY (Translation): Yes, Mum, you’re here with us.

ROSA (Translation): Thank you, darling, thanks for coming.

JOHNNY (Translation): Of course we came, we love you very much. How’s my beautiful mum?

ROSA (Translation): Good, son, good.

In a cold arrivals hall, a simple amateur play unites families.

ROSA (Translation): I’m so happy to have my son, and my other son, my grandson and my daughter in law. , I love them very much. I’m very happy.

REPORTER (Translation): Is this your happiest day?

ROSA (Translation): Of my life…

JOHNNY (Translation):  It’s good that we’re together now. Give me a big hug.

Days later, the women must feel like they have entered another world. In a tiny Brooklyn apartment shared with relatives, Lupita is adjusting to her husband's life here.

LUPITA (Translation): That’s mine. You took the wrong one.

They are rediscovering all the forgotten quirks of living with the person they'd married and discovering some new quirks as well.

LUPITA (Translation): Now he eats cream.

HUSBAND (Translation): But only in spaghetti.

LUPITA (Translation): It doesn’t matter. It’s still cream.  It’s not the same as a video call. Seeing her, being close to her, being able to hug her, it’s beautiful for me. It’s beautiful…

But the American dream is not as grand as Lupita had expected.

LUPITA (Translation):  When I arrived, I didn’t say anything to my husband. This is the only thing they can afford because rents are very high. Very high.

Lupita's journey to the US has not been like the millions who have risked their lives to be here, but she hopes that when they step up on stage tonight they can start a conversation about the toll migration takes on those left behind. It's a sell-out crowd for tonight's performance of The Pink House. Back stage, the women are ready and excited.

WOMAN (Translation): Yes, we are about to start.

Performing in front of an American audience doesn't seem to faze them.

ROSA (Translation): I’m well, I’m relaxed.

PRESENTER:  Without any further ado, CAFAMI.

None of these women ever expected to an actress on an American stage, but here they are.

PLAY:

WOMAN (Translation): Mum, please, I need to see the world.
 
WOMAN 2 (Translation): Isn’t that what you do every day online?

They have had no formal training, but somehow the authenticity that comes from telling their own stories gives the show a raw power.

WOMAN (Translation): Then I need to go into the world.
 
WOMAN 2 (Translation): Isn’t this the world?
 
WOMAN (Translation): Maybe for you. Not for me.
 
WOMAN 2 (Translation): How are you going to get there? You don’t even have money for a smuggler.

WOMAN (Translation):  Carmen leant me the money.

By the end, I'm surprised at how moving the night has been.

WOMAN (Translation): Maybe our efforts haven’t been enough. But for God’s sake, we’re not going to give up. We’ll keep fighting.

WOMEN (Translation): Yes. Let them hear our voice.

In the audience Q&A afterwards, it's clear they have hit a raw nerve.

AUDIENCE (Translation): You are strong women who come to expose… Yours and our feelings… What we have left behind… brothers, sisters, grandparents who have passed away and who we couldn’t return to say goodbye. There are lots of topics that you address, that go straight to the heart. Thank you.

JOHNNY (Translation):  I’ve always been proud of my mother and I still am. She accomplished her goal and she made it. If it hadn’t been for her work, she wouldn’t be here with us. But yes, I feel very happy and I think she is, too. We’re all very happy with everything.

The joy of this reunion can only be temporary but Rosa's not letting that stop her taking over the kitchen in her son's apartment.

REPORTER:  The fish, how did the fish go?

ROSA (Translation): The fish is soaking so as to get rid of the salt.

They only have a few precious weeks together, but she's determined to make the most of it.

ROSA (Translation): Come and have your memelita. Your gordita.

Again, that shadow of separation hangs over them. On a walk through New Haven, so far from Tetlanohcan, I asked Rosa if she has convinced her sons to return home yet, but it's a touchy subject.

ROSA (Translation): I would like them to come back home with me. I would be very happy to have them with me. I haven’t spoken to them. We haven’t had a chat.

Unsaid words and unfulfilled hopes. That's how it is for migrant families. But for now, they can live in the moment just enjoying being together.

Reporter
AARON THOMAS

Producer
AELA CALLAN

Camera
AARON THOMAS

Additional Camera
AARON LEWIS

Fixer
DAWN PALEY

Editor
AARON THOMAS

Thanks To
RUTH HERNANDEZ

Translations
EMILY BARTON

Composer
VICKI HANSEN

10th May 2016