0001 00:00:42:18 00:00:47:02

Dear Rahma,

this letter is intended just for you.

0002 00:00:48:19 00:00:51:17

Mama wants to tell you

how much she loves you.

0003 00:00:51:20 00:00:57:02

As the only girl in a family with 9 boys

you don't have it easy.

0004 00:00:57:05 00:01:01:02

Love, I am sorry that you

have to grow up without a father.

0005 00:01:01:05 00:01:03:16

I wish things had been different.

0006 00:01:03:19 00:01:07:06

I want a different life for you

than the one I had.

0007 00:01:07:09 00:01:10:16

I want you, Insh'Allah,

to use every opportunity you get.

0008 00:01:10:20 00:01:16:02

I want you to learn to fend for yourself

and make your voice heard.

0009 00:01:16:05 00:01:20:04

I want you to follow your passion

later on, whatever it may be.

0010 00:01:20:07 00:01:25:05

You've gone through a lot and seen

many unpleasant things in your short life.

0011 00:01:25:08 00:01:30:13

It hasn't always been easy,

but these things only make you stronger.

0012 00:01:30:16 00:01:33:06

NAZIHA'S SPRING

0013 00:01:38:08 00:01:45:02

A single mother with 10 children has been

causing problems in her area for years.

0014 00:01:45:05 00:01:50:17

The housing association says complaints

range from bullying to burglary and threats.

0015 00:01:52:24 00:01:58:24

The mother, who got divorced in 2005,

is clearly unable to raise her 10 children.

0016 00:02:00:17 00:02:04:10

He started going his own way

and didn't stick to the agreements

0017 00:02:04:13 00:02:07:03

so his mother lost control over him.

0018 00:02:07:06 00:02:12:02

Stealing, vandalism,

threatening children.

0019 00:02:12:05 00:02:17:19

He'd sneak out at night

and return stoned the next morning.

0020 00:02:19:17 00:02:23:20

Dozens of institutes have been

interfering with the family for years.

0021 00:02:23:23 00:02:27:18

Of course I need help.

I can't do this on my own.

0022 00:02:27:21 00:02:31:06

But there will be a time

when I can manage on my own.

0023 00:02:42:18 00:02:46:19

six years later

0024 00:03:06:05 00:03:08:05

Okay, now you're trapped.

0025 00:03:12:02 00:03:13:17

He's looking at me.

0026 00:03:17:08 00:03:19:22

I'm too afraid. Come, baby.

0027 00:03:20:00 00:03:22:21

Come here. You want your freedom.

0028 00:03:22:24 00:03:25:24

I can't even snatch a guy,

let alone a bird.

0029 00:03:32:20 00:03:34:09

Bastard.

0030 00:03:37:12 00:03:39:10

Come, you're going outside.

0031 00:03:39:13 00:03:41:18

Rahma, do you have any homework?

0032 00:04:32:00 00:04:37:16

Yesterday was Memorial Day

and today we'll have the Liberation meal.

0033 00:04:37:19 00:04:43:12

People gather around the table

to celebrate their freedom.

0034 00:04:43:15 00:04:50:16

Celebrate that so many people

regained their freedom after the war.

0035 00:04:50:19 00:04:55:21

And even today

people are fighting for their freedom.

0036 00:05:00:09 00:05:02:03

Are you free?

0037 00:05:02:06 00:05:04:22

Do you want mum to be honest?

-Yes.

0038 00:05:05:00 00:05:11:10

No, I'm not entirely free

to do whatever I want.

0039 00:05:11:13 00:05:13:23

And to think whatever I want.

0040 00:05:15:01 00:05:20:01

Why not?

-I'm still stuck with social services.

0041 00:05:20:04 00:05:23:10

I'm almost done, but still...

0042 00:05:25:00 00:05:27:23

I don't feel free yet, in any case.

0043 00:05:28:01 00:05:31:19

I feel free

when my brothers are not around.

0044 00:05:32:01 00:05:34:15

Then I don't have to do anything.

0045 00:05:34:18 00:05:38:09

I keep telling you, Rahma,

don't let them use you.

0046 00:05:38:12 00:05:43:15

If they want you to fetch them something

you tell them, go get it yourself.

0047 00:05:43:18 00:05:48:04

Should you do all the work because

you're a girl? It doesn't work that way.

0048 00:05:48:07 00:05:53:01

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,

11, 12, 13, 14.

0049 00:05:53:04 00:05:56:04

Right?

4, 8, 10, 12, 13.

0050 00:05:59:20 00:06:02:14

Only 76 more to go.

-Right.

0051 00:06:10:05 00:06:13:03

This was part of my daily routine.

0052 00:06:13:06 00:06:17:07

I spend the entire day in the kitchen,

preparing large quantities.

0053 00:06:17:10 00:06:22:00

I even fell asleep in the kitchen

a few times. How about that?

0054 00:06:22:03 00:06:25:00

Sometimes I wouldn't leave the house

for two weeks.

0055 00:06:25:03 00:06:28:17

And when I did, the daylight

would really hurt my eyes.

0056 00:06:28:20 00:06:31:00

I was a slave as his wife. Period.

0057 00:06:32:03 00:06:36:01

That's literally what he told me:

'You're worth nothing.'

0058 00:06:36:04 00:06:39:04

'You won't be worth anything without me.'

0059 00:06:39:07 00:06:42:02

How did your ex husband

raise your children?

0060 00:06:42:05 00:06:48:06

They were his product.

He had to kneed them.

0061 00:06:49:23 00:06:54:14

He wasn't a father

who was proud of his children.

0062 00:06:58:04 00:07:03:17

How did he show

that he saw his children as his product?

0063 00:07:03:20 00:07:06:24

'They're my men',

if they pulled another stunt.

0064 00:07:07:02 00:07:11:10

Then they were his men. No wonder

if you teach kids stuff like that.

0065 00:07:13:23 00:07:19:02

What do you mean?

-If they had done something bad again.

0066 00:07:19:05 00:07:23:07

If a ten-year old boy is still out

on the street at midnight...

0067 00:07:23:10 00:07:27:15

I said 'That's not right.

We live in the Netherlands.'

0068 00:07:28:18 00:07:31:12

Being outside at this late hour...'

0069 00:07:31:15 00:07:35:22

'They're men. They're my children.

Nobody tells me what to do.'

0070 00:07:39:14 00:07:42:01

What did he want his men to do?

0071 00:07:47:07 00:07:52:02

Nothing to be proud of or say

in front of a camera, not nice things.

0072 00:07:52:05 00:07:55:12

They were ordered to steal things.

0073 00:07:58:00 00:08:02:08

When you're 8, 9 or 10

you don't know any better.

0074 00:08:03:00 00:08:05:08

He made them do it.

-Made them?

0075 00:08:05:11 00:08:12:02

Yes, but what hurts me the most

is that I was unable to intervene.

0076 00:08:12:05 00:08:15:11

The boys were in shorts...

0077 00:08:15:14 00:08:21:02

We had company and people would

laugh at them while my heart was crying.

0078 00:08:21:05 00:08:24:16

They had to wear shorts

and we were in the living room.

0079 00:08:25:12 00:08:30:14

No matter how young they were,

they had to fight each other.

0080 00:08:30:17 00:08:34:20

Their upper body was naked

and they weren't allowed to cry.

0081 00:08:34:23 00:08:37:17

And sometimes

they would even bleed.

0082 00:08:37:20 00:08:44:01

You see your little children,

Ilyasse, Houde, Nouh, all still young.

0083 00:08:44:04 00:08:49:04

He was there like a king.

Most of the time he'd be lying down.

0084 00:08:49:07 00:08:52:07

He was the boss.

0085 00:08:53:10 00:08:56:13

You see your children with bleeding lips.

0086 00:08:56:16 00:09:00:09

They weren't allowed to cry.

They had to keep on fighting.

0087 00:09:00:21 00:09:06:22

I called our place an education camp.

A terrorist education camp.

0088 00:09:07:01 00:09:11:18

It was all fighting and blood. They only

learned how to cry after their dad left.

0089 00:09:11:21 00:09:17:09

I kept telling them:

It's okay to cry, it's okay to be sad.

0090 00:09:17:12 00:09:21:09

It's okay to fall in love,

it's okay to express feelings.

0091 00:09:21:12 00:09:25:20

You need to teach them

how to handle feelings and emotions.

0092 00:09:25:23 00:09:32:22

It's a big task. I knew it would be

hard to raise these kids on my own.

0093 00:09:40:11 00:09:42:18

You'll learn this, too.

0094 00:09:42:21 00:09:47:21

One Sunday morning I'll wake up

to the smell of stuffed pancakes.

0095 00:09:47:24 00:09:49:16

Right?

0096 00:09:49:19 00:09:51:22

Insh'Allah.

-Good.

0097 00:09:52:19 00:09:55:21

I don't think they will

appreciate me being this open.

0098 00:09:57:00 00:09:59:03

So why are you?

0099 00:10:01:05 00:10:06:01

Because I hate

that my children, back then,

0100 00:10:06:04 00:10:08:12

were called criminals

while they weren't.

0101 00:10:09:07 00:10:16:10

I think that children

don't misbehave for no reason.

0102 00:10:16:13 00:10:20:02

Something must have happened.

Something must be wrong at home.

0103 00:10:20:05 00:10:21:18

It doesn't just happen.

0104 00:10:21:21 00:10:28:02

When children are born, they're blank.

We turn them into what they are.

0105 00:10:28:05 00:10:32:02

Consciously or unconsciously

0106 00:10:32:05 00:10:35:11

but we shape our children

into what they are.

0107 00:10:54:21 00:10:59:08

I'm sick tomorrow.

-No, you're going to school.

0108 00:11:02:24 00:11:07:15

I can feel it, you know.

-I can feel you're going to school.

0109 00:11:07:18 00:11:10:08

And if you don't, you'll be in trouble.

0110 00:11:12:09 00:11:15:08

How about that?

-I'm really sick.

0111 00:11:15:11 00:11:18:08

Listen, Si Mohammed.

I'm serious.

0112 00:11:19:16 00:11:24:23

Thursday we have a meeting.

It's almost your turn.

0113 00:11:25:01 00:11:28:06

Assisted living.

-You can't kick me out.

0114 00:11:28:09 00:11:30:06

Simo, I'm serious.

-What?

0115 00:11:30:09 00:11:34:05

Who started about moving out?

-You wanted to get rid of me.

0116 00:11:34:08 00:11:40:12

No, don't blame me.

I told you you were too young.

0117 00:11:40:15 00:11:45:23

I wanted to keep you home. I didn't

think you'd go for assisted living

0118 00:11:46:01 00:11:49:02

I wanted to have you here

since it's already quiet.

0119 00:11:49:05 00:11:51:17

The older boys have moved out already.

0120 00:11:51:20 00:11:57:02

If you stick to the rules we're fine.

Who started talking about this? You.

0121 00:11:57:05 00:12:04:00

You told the guardian you wanted

to move out of this neighborhood.

0122 00:12:05:02 00:12:07:02

You're right.

0123 00:12:08:12 00:12:13:00

Give it your best in school.

-That's your department.

0124 00:12:13:03 00:12:15:06

I'm no longer in school.

You're my school.

0125 00:12:15:09 00:12:19:09

Suppose I have to go to school,

who's going to cook my meals?

0126 00:12:19:12 00:12:23:19

Who's going to wash my underwear?

0127 00:12:23:22 00:12:27:06

Why do you think

it's called assisted living?

0128 00:12:27:09 00:12:31:16

Look at your brother.

Do I still cook or clean for him?

0129 00:12:31:19 00:12:33:17

No.

He can do it all on his own.

0130 00:12:33:20 00:12:37:17

The time you were gone for

three weeks you managed just fine.

0131 00:12:37:20 00:12:40:00

With your potatoes,

broccoli and sauce.

0132 00:12:40:03 00:12:42:24

Right, you know what I'm talking about.

0133 00:12:44:16 00:12:49:18

Everything will be fine.

Let's have that meeting on Thursday

0134 00:12:49:21 00:12:54:02

and see what they've

got planned for you.

0135 00:12:54:05 00:12:58:20

What they're thinking of,

what assisted living will be like.

0136 00:12:58:23 00:13:03:06

Okay?

-Undercover police?

0137 00:13:03:09 00:13:07:13

Is today Hugging Day?

Didn't you sleep well?

0138 00:13:07:16 00:13:11:01

That's right.

-Or did you do something bad?

0139 00:13:11:04 00:13:14:20

No, that's not it.

-All will be fine, Insh'Allah.

0140 00:13:14:23 00:13:18:13

Everyone gets a fresh start.

Mum gets a fresh start.

0141 00:13:19:12 00:13:21:05

You get a fresh start.

0142 00:13:21:08 00:13:25:05

At some point you have to

live your own lives anyway.

0143 00:14:00:19 00:14:02:21

Simo.

0144 00:14:07:08 00:14:11:08

Shut up. Mum will be on TV,

leave her. It's her life.

0145 00:14:11:11 00:14:15:08

Shame?

Why would you say that?

0146 00:14:15:11 00:14:18:20

I want to show people

the other side.

0147 00:14:18:23 00:14:21:05

That's why I do this.

0148 00:14:21:08 00:14:24:10

Am I shameful?

What is shameful?

0149 00:14:25:15 00:14:28:04

Is it shameful to show the truth?

0150 00:14:47:13 00:14:52:06

I am having a discussion

with one of my sons.

0151 00:14:52:09 00:14:58:08

He's heard that I'm being filmed

and he doesn't agree.

0152 00:14:59:19 00:15:01:20

He's saying...

0153 00:15:04:22 00:15:09:12

He thinks it's a disgrace

that I'm in this film.

0154 00:15:09:15 00:15:14:06

I am a Moroccan woman, I should wear

a headscarf and no make-up.

0155 00:15:14:09 00:15:17:12

It's wrong to appear

in front of a camera like this.

0156 00:15:17:15 00:15:20:12

'It's disrespectful

because we are Moroccan.'

0157 00:15:21:10 00:15:23:12

But I respond:

0158 00:15:24:12 00:15:27:20

What does a headscarf

have to do with it? I am who I am.

0159 00:15:27:23 00:15:31:13

Only Allah can judge me, nobody else.

0160 00:15:31:16 00:15:33:21

Not even my children.

0161 00:15:57:18 00:16:01:14

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to this conference

0162 00:16:01:17 00:16:05:20

on the decentralization

of child services.

0163 00:16:05:23 00:16:11:13

A goal your municipalities have been

working on since June of last year.

0164 00:16:11:16 00:16:15:02

Today we want to present

a specific case study.

0165 00:16:15:05 00:16:17:04

Naziha, come to the front, please.

0166 00:16:18:02 00:16:24:20

Naziha is the mother of 10 children.

0167 00:16:24:23 00:16:28:24

That has to be a very cozy family.

-Not always.

0168 00:16:30:06 00:16:31:22

Not always.

0169 00:16:33:01 00:16:36:22

In Amsterdam West.

She has worked with youth care.

0170 00:16:37:00 00:16:40:18

A lot of social workers.

-A lot of social workers.

0171 00:16:40:21 00:16:43:24

We want to know more

about that experience.

0172 00:16:44:02 00:16:47:09

I'm grateful you're willing

to share it with us.

0173 00:16:47:12 00:16:51:13

I will briefly describe your history.

-That's okay.

0174 00:16:51:16 00:16:55:01

With reference to

what is on the whiteboard.

0175 00:16:55:04 00:17:00:02

Born in Morocco. Spent your years

as a toddler in the Netherlands.

0176 00:17:00:05 00:17:04:05

It wasn't a nice childhood,

but we won't go into that.

0177 00:17:04:08 00:17:06:11

You were married off

to an older Moroccan man.

0178 00:17:06:14 00:17:08:07

He was 30 years older.

0179 00:17:08:10 00:17:11:10

One son from your husband's

previous marriage.

0180 00:17:13:00 00:17:18:14

You had nine children.

You were constantly pregnant.

0181 00:17:18:17 00:17:22:14

The boys got older and went into puberty

which was problematic.

0182 00:17:22:17 00:17:26:20

Police contact,

shoplifting and so on.

0183 00:17:26:23 00:17:31:18

Which led to a supervision order

for some of your children?

0184 00:17:31:21 00:17:34:24

All of them, except the last one.

I was still pregnant with her.

0185 00:17:35:02 00:17:38:05

We don't go that far yet.

0186 00:17:39:17 00:17:41:21

It is possible.

0187 00:17:43:22 00:17:47:03

How did your neighbors feel about you?

0188 00:17:47:06 00:17:50:00

Not good.

I live in a Moroccan neighborhood.

0189 00:17:50:03 00:17:54:21

And as a woman, regardless of what

your life is like, you just keep going.

0190 00:17:55:22 00:17:59:13

I try to use my experience

with youth care now, to...

0191 00:17:59:16 00:18:03:12

I speak about my problems openly

0192 00:18:03:15 00:18:10:02

to stimulate people to get help

because there is a lot of shame.

0193 00:18:10:05 00:18:13:00

Admitting to having problems

is not done.

0194 00:18:13:03 00:18:18:22

What was it like at first

with help from social work?

0195 00:18:19:00 00:18:20:18

It was a disaster.

0196 00:18:20:21 00:18:26:21

First there was Jan, then Grietje,

Achmed, and I let everyone in.

0197 00:18:26:24 00:18:30:24

Because I want to get my kids

on the straight and narrow.

0198 00:18:31:02 00:18:34:08

I want to do alone

what I couldn't do with my ex.

0199 00:18:35:08 00:18:37:17

Then a plan is made and they say...

0200 00:18:37:20 00:18:42:10

'We're the social workers, the experts',

but it doesn't work that way.

0201 00:18:42:13 00:18:46:10

I'm their mother and I'm there 24/7.

0202 00:18:46:13 00:18:49:14

You close your agenda and go home,

but I don't.

0203 00:18:49:17 00:18:55:01

I've had many good social workers too.

It wasn't all bad.

0204 00:18:55:04 00:19:00:08

But look at us as a family and as people

and not as a case.

0205 00:19:00:11 00:19:04:05

We're often just seen as a case,

yet another number.

0206 00:19:52:13 00:19:54:22

frequent contact with the police

0207 00:19:55:00 00:19:56:24

a burdened past

0208 00:19:59:12 00:20:04:03

mother loses control over him

0209 00:20:04:07 00:20:06:01

is overburdened

0210 00:20:09:13 00:20:18:12

in 2005, the father returns to Morocco

0211 00:20:29:06 00:20:33:18

Here I have all the people

who have meddled with our family.

0212 00:20:33:21 00:20:38:24

Local authorities, the police,

the housing association, Chain Unit West

0213 00:20:39:02 00:20:43:13

Employee Insurance Agency,

school attendance, school, School2care

0214 00:20:43:16 00:20:51:07

probation, Salvation Army, Spirit, Boppi,

Care Express, home care, you name it.

0215 00:20:52:21 00:20:58:03

There were problems with their

upbringing and with structure at home.

0216 00:20:58:06 00:21:05:02

There were debts. My eldest children

came into contact with the police.

0217 00:21:05:06 00:21:10:03

There were many problems.

-How serious was this contact?

0218 00:21:10:06 00:21:15:17

I had to pick up 1, 2, or 3 of them

from the police station every week.

0219 00:21:15:20 00:21:18:09

I was there three times a week.

0220 00:21:18:12 00:21:23:23

It could be about stealing a bike,

about fighting or something else.

0221 00:21:25:09 00:21:29:18

People ask me how this could happen

to me, since I'm such a strong woman.

0222 00:21:29:21 00:21:34:14

No, I only became strong...

0223 00:21:38:04 00:21:40:18

when I had to fight for my children.

0224 00:21:40:21 00:21:43:04

This is my family.

0225 00:21:44:20 00:21:48:15

These are my children.

That's what made me strong.

0226 00:21:53:05 00:21:56:12

I'd like to just burn them all.

0227 00:21:56:15 00:21:58:12

It's in the past.

0228 00:21:58:15 00:22:03:22

Don't forget there were 10 children

living here. 9 of them were in school.

0229 00:22:04:00 00:22:06:02

One of them was a baby.

0230 00:22:07:23 00:22:12:13

And other people knew everything,

but I had to deal with it.

0231 00:22:12:16 00:22:16:21

People come with one of those

social worker folders

0232 00:22:16:24 00:22:23:20

and then they start writing away

and produce a report with errors.

0233 00:22:23:23 00:22:27:19

In this one, in this one.

0234 00:22:27:22 00:22:35:13

They don't start typing. No, they

copy what was in the previous file.

0235 00:22:35:17 00:22:39:23

Some of the help was mandatory,

but most of it was voluntary.

0236 00:22:40:01 00:22:43:15

So you invited these organizations

into your home yourself.

0237 00:22:45:18 00:22:48:01

I didn't know there were so many.

0238 00:22:49:17 00:22:51:11

I didn't know that.

0239 00:22:51:14 00:22:55:05

They come to your home

and you have to collaborate.

0240 00:22:55:08 00:23:00:12

I didn't care, as long as it worked.

0241 00:23:00:15 00:23:06:00

What about your own responsibility?

-Of course, I was there and didn't act.

0242 00:23:06:03 00:23:09:10

I feel guilty about that to this day.

0243 00:23:09:13 00:23:16:24

To this day. When I see

that my child isn't feeling well

0244 00:23:17:02 00:23:20:08

I feel it's my fault.

I put them in this world.

0245 00:23:20:11 00:23:27:13

Children don't want this.

I'll feel guilty until my dying breath.

0246 00:23:27:16 00:23:33:22

At some point I should

have said 'stop', but I couldn't.

0247 00:23:38:23 00:23:41:11

Now it's all coming back.

0248 00:24:32:21 00:24:35:05

COURSE CONFIDENTIAL ADVISOR

0249 00:24:35:08 00:24:39:19

Sometimes I interfere but then I notice

0250 00:24:39:22 00:24:43:21

that it's the mother's fault,

not the teenager's.

0251 00:24:43:24 00:24:47:04

Good morning, ladies.

-Good morning.

0252 00:24:47:07 00:24:52:11

Today we're going to address

an issue for confidential advisors:

0253 00:24:52:14 00:24:54:08

setting boundaries

and saying 'no'.

0254 00:24:54:11 00:24:58:05

When did you say 'yes'

this past week

0255 00:24:59:12 00:25:01:16

when you really

wanted to say 'no'?

0256 00:25:02:15 00:25:08:09

I'm helping an elderly lady.

I interpret and take her to the doctor.

0257 00:25:09:05 00:25:13:21

She has a daughter in Saudi Arabia

and then she asks me

0258 00:25:13:24 00:25:19:05

if I can go to the Immigration Office

to ask them a few questions.

0259 00:25:19:08 00:25:25:18

I said: 'I'm helping you

and not your daughter far away.'

0260 00:25:25:21 00:25:29:01

She said 'yes, but...'

and so I did it anyway.

0261 00:25:29:04 00:25:33:13

When a confidential adviser

is matched with a client

0262 00:25:33:16 00:25:39:21

you tell them you're bound

by professional secrecy.

0263 00:25:39:24 00:25:43:24

But you clearly define

what you can and can't do.

0264 00:25:44:03 00:25:49:01

You write it down

but in reality it's not always possible.

0265 00:25:49:04 00:25:54:09

We work with Moroccan people.

We're Moroccan ourselves.

0266 00:25:54:12 00:25:57:12

You're not allowed to say 'no'.

-That's hard.

0267 00:25:57:16 00:26:02:13

It's a shame, it's a disgrace,

<hsuma,>to say 'no'.

0268 00:26:02:17 00:26:05:22

But I really learned

to ignore that<hsuma>for a moment.

0269 00:26:06:00 00:26:09:01

Now they say I've become Dutch.

0270 00:26:09:04 00:26:11:13

She's Dutchified.

That's what they say.

0271 00:26:54:04 00:26:57:06

Child Welfare coming into our family

0272 00:26:57:09 00:27:01:08

was basically my salvation.

0273 00:27:01:11 00:27:05:22

They will either be put in foster homes

or I have to dedicate myself to my kids.

0274 00:27:06:00 00:27:10:22

That's when I decided

to step out of the marriage.

0275 00:27:11:00 00:27:13:00

Enough was enough.

0276 00:27:17:00 00:27:23:10

My kids were put under a supervision order

except Rahma. I was pregnant with her.

0277 00:27:23:13 00:27:28:03

Three months after she was born

her father left.

0278 00:27:33:07 00:27:37:11

I was determined to get a divorce.

He said 'okay'.

0279 00:27:37:14 00:27:40:24

But he thought I would back down.

0280 00:27:41:02 00:27:46:12

Rahma was sleeping. I was in the kitchen

and there he was, holding a baseball bat.

0281 00:27:47:12 00:27:51:06

Before I knew what happened,

everything went black.

0282 00:27:52:15 00:27:55:16

He kept hitting me on the head.

0283 00:27:55:19 00:28:00:20

I yelled 'please'.

The only thing I saw in a flash...

0284 00:28:00:23 00:28:05:17

I saw my children and thought

they'd be left behind alone.

0285 00:28:05:20 00:28:11:01

I was on my knees,

kissing his feet and his hands

0286 00:28:11:04 00:28:15:15

while he was hitting me with the bat.

'Please, my children'.

0287 00:28:16:21 00:28:21:16

But he just kept on yelling.

0288 00:28:25:16 00:28:29:11

'You're going to die. You're a whore.'

0289 00:28:29:14 00:28:34:04

That's when something

snapped inside me.

0290 00:28:34:07 00:28:40:07

I got up, looked at him and said:

'Kill me, but I'm never coming back to you.'

0291 00:28:40:10 00:28:45:23

'If that's my fate and you want to

have it on your conscience, then kill me.'

0292 00:28:46:01 00:28:51:14

Suddenly, he looked at me

and he didn't know what to do.

0293 00:28:51:17 00:28:54:07

He turned around and left.

0294 00:28:58:15 00:29:01:21

Show me.

Your hair is clean.

0295 00:29:01:24 00:29:03:17

Mum?

-I'm coming.

0296 00:29:03:20 00:29:06:08

I'm busy with Rahma now.

0297 00:29:07:16 00:29:10:10

Mum?

-I'm busy with Rahma now.

0298 00:29:12:05 00:29:15:14

Mum? Do you know

what I want for my birthday?

0299 00:29:15:17 00:29:18:24

What do you want?

-A dog and a horse.

0300 00:29:19:02 00:29:22:12

A horse won't happen

and a dog is out too.

0301 00:29:22:15 00:29:26:06

Why?

-Horses are very expensive.

0302 00:29:26:09 00:29:29:05

And you need to take care of it.

-And a dog?

0303 00:29:29:08 00:29:35:07

If we have a dog, I will end up

having to take it for walks.

0304 00:29:35:10 00:29:38:11

I don't want that.

A dog needs care as well.

0305 00:29:38:14 00:29:41:00

That's a big responsibility.

0306 00:29:42:09 00:29:44:17

You can't just get a dog like that.

0307 00:29:50:18 00:29:55:01

You always need to take

good care of yourself.

0308 00:29:55:04 00:29:57:21

Then you'll always have beautiful skin.

0309 00:30:04:20 00:30:06:10

Look at me.

0310 00:30:08:13 00:30:10:19

Kiss.

0311 00:30:10:22 00:30:12:16

Off you go.

0312 00:30:17:04 00:30:19:14

Ready?

Throw your hair in the bin.

0313 00:30:22:07 00:30:26:09

It's your hair too.

-That doesn't matter.

0314 00:31:02:01 00:31:07:02

Cook something nice for tonight.

0315 00:31:07:06 00:31:10:10

Can you cut the onion?

0316 00:31:10:13 00:31:14:21

COOKING CLUB

0317 00:31:14:24 00:31:21:01

Is he filming me?

-He won't film your face.

0318 00:31:23:20 00:31:26:05

Flora, how was Tunisia?

0319 00:31:26:08 00:31:30:06

How was your holiday?

-Fantastic.

0320 00:31:30:10 00:31:32:10

When did you came back?

-Last night.

0321 00:31:32:13 00:31:37:03

36 degrees.

Wonderful weather every single day.

0322 00:31:37:06 00:31:41:20

We'll go for a week.

0323 00:31:41:24 00:31:44:00

Say Insh'Allah.

0324 00:31:44:03 00:31:46:02

Insh'Allah.

-Well done.

0325 00:31:48:06 00:31:50:24

I'm 44. I've been here for 41 years now.

0326 00:31:51:02 00:31:55:08

To tell you the truth,

I miss Holland as it used to be.

0327 00:31:56:20 00:32:01:11

You could ride your bike safely

and leave the garden door open.

0328 00:32:01:14 00:32:06:10

The milkman bringing his bottles...

So beautiful.

0329 00:32:06:13 00:32:09:00

You still have that in some areas.

0330 00:32:09:03 00:32:13:12

I think in Morocco you have less...

-Less stress.

0331 00:32:13:15 00:32:16:14

Less paperwork and stress.

That's typically Dutch.

0332 00:32:16:17 00:32:20:17

There men do more than women.

Here it's the other way around.

0333 00:32:20:20 00:32:24:22

We have to take care

of the paperwork and so on.

0334 00:32:25:00 00:32:27:04

It's not like that in Morocco.

0335 00:32:27:07 00:32:31:16

Ladies, next week

we're all going to the police station.

0336 00:32:31:19 00:32:34:14

Are we getting arrested?

0337 00:32:37:22 00:32:40:04

You can stay there.

0338 00:32:40:07 00:32:44:23

No, we're going to get special treatment.

0339 00:32:45:02 00:32:49:20

I will ask the cutest cops to help us,

especially for Flora.

0340 00:32:49:23 00:32:52:02

Flora loves good looking men.

0341 00:32:52:05 00:32:56:22

I want you to see and experience this.

Why?

0342 00:32:57:00 00:33:00:11

We all have children.

I'm a mother too.

0343 00:33:00:14 00:33:04:14

I've gone through this,

and I don't wish it upon anyone.

0344 00:33:04:17 00:33:09:23

You should know your rights.

Also for your child.

0345 00:33:10:01 00:33:15:05

The other day I spoke to someone,

that was in April.

0346 00:33:15:08 00:33:20:03

Her minor child was questioned,

she wasn't allowed to be with him.

0347 00:33:20:06 00:33:23:19

That's against the law.

0348 00:33:23:22 00:33:26:06

It was a different station,

but that's not allowed.

0349 00:33:26:09 00:33:30:13

The problem is that people

do not know their rights.

0350 00:33:36:01 00:33:41:00

Who among us doesn't have

a child that they fight with?

0351 00:33:41:03 00:33:45:08

You try your hardest,

but you're lost when you bring them up.

0352 00:33:45:11 00:33:52:07

Fatiha had many problems

with raising her four children.

0353 00:33:53:03 00:33:59:17

Gadizja, 44. Since her son quit school

he has been causing problems.

0354 00:33:59:20 00:34:03:07

Fatima, 38 years old.

0355 00:34:03:10 00:34:09:03

She's still worried

about her daughter's rights.

0356 00:34:09:06 00:34:13:09

Welcome everybody

to these true stories.

0357 00:34:19:19 00:34:24:19

Good morning. I'm calling on behalf

of a lady with a leak in her kitchen.

0358 00:34:24:22 00:34:29:09

She's 77 years old

and I went over to have a look.

0359 00:34:29:12 00:34:33:24

To tell you the truth,

I was alarmed by her situation.

0360 00:34:37:01 00:34:41:04

Is there a dentist in Amsterdam

for illegal immigrants?

0361 00:34:41:07 00:34:44:19

He has no insurance

but he needs to go.

0362 00:34:44:22 00:34:48:00

The entire weekend.

It was heartbreaking.

0363 00:34:48:22 00:34:54:15

I called youth care

because I was very worried.

0364 00:34:54:18 00:34:58:12

But who will take care of it?

Nobody.

0365 00:34:58:15 00:35:03:06

He has to work for another 6 hours,

the court is asking if he's done.

0366 00:35:03:09 00:35:09:03

I can only say 'no'.

I want to make an arrangement.

0367 00:35:09:06 00:35:15:05

Okay, wouldn't it be more practical

if I gave you his number?

0368 00:35:15:08 00:35:19:16

Sure, that was my next question.

-That's better.

0369 00:35:19:19 00:35:25:07

I'll give you his number

so you can give him a call.

0370 00:35:26:10 00:35:28:23

He's at a day center.

0371 00:35:33:09 00:35:35:12

Zakery.

-Yes?

0372 00:35:35:15 00:35:40:05

Could you please call Charlie for me?

-Yes.

0373 00:35:40:08 00:35:47:12

I have Simo's money. I asked them

to put it in my account last month.

0374 00:35:48:12 00:35:51:08

But I could only do that once.

0375 00:35:51:11 00:35:53:14

He will get his money soon

0376 00:35:53:17 00:35:56:22

but I couldn't change it.

He doesn't have his ID yet.

0377 00:35:57:00 00:35:59:24

That's why we haven't

arranged his bank account yet.

0378 00:36:00:02 00:36:05:16

Hello, this is Zakery from Spirit.

I'm at home with the mother now.

0379 00:36:05:19 00:36:10:00

We have a question

about Simo's finances.

0380 00:36:15:16 00:36:19:07

I need some stuff for my place.

-What stuff?

0381 00:36:19:10 00:36:24:00

Don't say towels and sheets

because I don't have any left.

0382 00:36:24:03 00:36:26:17

Really?

Then I'll get a new supply.

0383 00:36:26:20 00:36:30:11

Simo, have you practiced?

Let's make music today.

0384 00:36:30:14 00:36:33:14

Are you ready or not?

-Yes, of course.

0385 00:36:33:17 00:36:37:06

I have a GPS.

0386 00:37:00:22 00:37:04:18

First I create a rhythm.

If you think it's good, tell me.

0387 00:37:06:21 00:37:10:04

This will be your song.

0388 00:37:11:16 00:37:13:15

Like this?

-Yes, like that.

0389 00:37:18:18 00:37:23:06

Look closely at the diary of my life

it's not going well but I strive

0390 00:37:23:09 00:37:28:07

I look around, no one to trust

only snakes that act unjust

0391 00:37:30:23 00:37:34:16

That's the feeling.

0392 00:38:05:01 00:38:09:02

What did you do in school?

Was it Open House?

0393 00:38:09:05 00:38:11:19

Shut the door.

0394 00:38:11:22 00:38:13:20

Was it Open House?

-Yes.

0395 00:38:13:23 00:38:18:03

Until when?

-Half past four.

0396 00:38:18:06 00:38:20:21

Were there a lot of people?

-Yes.

0397 00:38:20:24 00:38:23:18

Do you have homework for tomorrow?

Yes, you do.

0398 00:38:23:21 00:38:26:10

I've studied. Topography.

0399 00:38:26:13 00:38:31:19

Where did you study?

You had Open House after school.

0400 00:38:31:22 00:38:37:17

It wasn't immediately after.

I had one hour off.

0401 00:38:37:20 00:38:40:09

And then you did your homework?

-Yes.

0402 00:38:40:12 00:38:43:20

You thought: 'I'll do it now...'

-To work ahead.

0403 00:38:43:23 00:38:46:16

You're lying. Look at me.

0404 00:38:46:19 00:38:49:15

You see?

You didn't do your homework.

0405 00:38:49:18 00:38:51:11

But I did study.

0406 00:38:51:14 00:38:56:17

So why did you put on your coat

to go outside just now?

0407 00:38:57:19 00:39:00:08

Right?

I don't think so.

0408 00:39:00:11 00:39:05:18

I only have one assignment.

-Then you're going to do that.

0409 00:39:08:12 00:39:10:19

Only one assignment...

0410 00:39:10:22 00:39:15:20

It's sad that you're dropping a level.

0411 00:39:15:23 00:39:18:15

I do my homework.

-Yes, but?

0412 00:39:18:18 00:39:23:02

When I'm here I never go outside

because I have to stay in.

0413 00:39:23:05 00:39:28:09

At school I'm not allowed to laugh

because I have to be serious.

0414 00:39:28:12 00:39:31:09

How do you want me to...

0415 00:39:31:12 00:39:34:09

I'm a child and I should be able to play.

0416 00:39:34:12 00:39:38:07

You're right but you can

simply tell me that it's too much.

0417 00:39:38:10 00:39:44:13

I've told you so often.

Why do I have to do all these things?

0418 00:39:44:16 00:39:48:05

I did my homework.

-Yes, sure.

0419 00:39:48:08 00:39:52:21

Okay, listen. How do you want a child

0420 00:39:52:24 00:39:57:11

to enjoy going to school

and doing his homework

0421 00:39:57:14 00:40:00:07

if he doesn't have time to go outside?

0422 00:40:00:10 00:40:04:04

Now and then you do go outside,

so stop nagging.

0423 00:40:04:07 00:40:06:02

Once a week.

0424 00:40:07:14 00:40:09:02

That's enough.

-It's not.

0425 00:40:09:05 00:40:13:08

What will you do outside?

-Play with people my own age.

0426 00:40:14:12 00:40:17:08

I laugh a lot with those guys.

0427 00:40:17:11 00:40:21:10

Because when I go home

we can no longer laugh.

0428 00:40:23:02 00:40:27:13

That's what I know.

-Sometimes you need to persevere.

0429 00:40:27:17 00:40:31:03

Even if you lack spare time

and you can't do things

0430 00:40:31:06 00:40:37:06

sometimes you need to persevere

until you've reached your goal.

0431 00:40:38:24 00:40:42:03

I tell you this all the time.

You have a goal in mind.

0432 00:40:42:06 00:40:45:10

You work towards that goal.

0433 00:40:45:13 00:40:49:22

Once you've reached your goal

there's time for extra things.

0434 00:40:51:24 00:40:57:14

But you can't...

-No other child has what I have.

0435 00:40:57:17 00:41:03:21

No other child goes outside only

once a week to play. No other child.

0436 00:41:03:24 00:41:06:21

Okay, I understand, but...

0437 00:41:23:12 00:41:28:02

Juvenile Moroccan criminals

between 14 and 24

0438 00:41:28:05 00:41:30:22

are over-represented in the statistics.

0439 00:41:31:01 00:41:36:19

We must realize there's a generation

that feels they're third rate citizens.

0440 00:41:36:22 00:41:42:05

The first victims of the Moroccan issue

are the Moroccan Dutch themselves.

0441 00:41:42:08 00:41:45:10

Broken homes,

children who can't go to school.

0442 00:41:45:13 00:41:52:23

Powerless parents who don't speak the

language, this destroys intellectual capital.

0443 00:41:56:00 00:41:59:03

The Court of Amsterdam

0444 00:42:19:19 00:42:24:02

The Child Care Protection Board

requests a supervision order for one year.

0445 00:42:24:05 00:42:28:08

The children have been

under supervision since 2005.

0446 00:42:28:11 00:42:31:02

There are concerns about both boys.

0447 00:42:31:05 00:42:35:02

There are concerns because Omar

dropped a level in school

0448 00:42:35:05 00:42:39:06

and there are concerns

about the mother's parenting skills.

0449 00:42:39:09 00:42:42:11

With respect to the mother's parenting

0450 00:42:42:14 00:42:46:09

there are concerns about

consistency in setting boundaries.

0451 00:42:46:12 00:42:50:01

She has made a lot of progress in this

0452 00:42:50:04 00:42:54:22

but there are still grave concerns

about continuity and consistency.

0453 00:42:55:00 00:42:59:18

The family has received

intensive help for a long of time.

0454 00:42:59:21 00:43:05:18

The Board feels there is

continued need for this help.

0455 00:43:05:21 00:43:10:06

We feel that this

requires a supervision order.

0456 00:43:10:09 00:43:12:05

May I begin?

-Sure.

0457 00:43:12:08 00:43:17:23

Your honor, I'm a bit upset

but I will try my best to remain calm.

0458 00:43:18:01 00:43:23:19

I've struggled for nine years

and I've collaborated with everybody.

0459 00:43:23:22 00:43:28:07

Every year I said

the supervision should be prolonged.

0460 00:43:28:10 00:43:30:03

I never objected.

0461 00:43:30:06 00:43:33:21

Last year I said:

They're entering adolescence now

0462 00:43:33:24 00:43:39:21

but they don't threaten other people

or show anti-social behavior.

0463 00:43:39:24 00:43:44:04

My children are the first

in the entire area to be back home.

0464 00:43:44:07 00:43:50:20

I made a voluntary agreement with the

police to tell me if they notice anything.

0465 00:43:50:23 00:43:56:03

Last year we decided

that the order was no longer necessary.

0466 00:43:56:06 00:43:59:14

Because we don't do much anymore.

0467 00:43:59:17 00:44:03:09

I know your intentions are good,

as does the Board.

0468 00:44:03:12 00:44:06:22

That's not the problem,

but what I'm wondering is:

0469 00:44:07:00 00:44:11:08

how is it that this mother

who's trying so hard

0470 00:44:11:11 00:44:16:05

who's well integrated in society,

who knows her way

0471 00:44:16:08 00:44:21:10

and who has collaborated

intensively with social workers...

0472 00:44:21:13 00:44:25:21

So, how is it that it didn't work out

for the other boys?

0473 00:44:25:24 00:44:32:12

I think these younger boys

haven't been through a lot with their dad.

0474 00:44:32:15 00:44:36:13

The oldest boys

have been damaged by their father.

0475 00:44:36:16 00:44:41:11

Some of them are better off

and I can see the changes.

0476 00:44:41:14 00:44:47:07

But it takes time and these boys

were given better opportunities.

0477 00:44:47:10 00:44:50:05

I've talked to the two boys separately.

0478 00:44:50:08 00:44:54:05

They said they are doing fine

0479 00:44:54:08 00:44:58:12

and they feel this request was made

because of their brothers.

0480 00:44:58:15 00:45:05:09

They said 'We're not our brothers

and we don't intend to go the same road.'

0481 00:45:05:12 00:45:08:11

A supervision order

isn't like a crystal ball.

0482 00:45:08:14 00:45:13:09

We don't know how it will go, but a

supervision order isn't intended for that.

0483 00:45:13:12 00:45:15:13

We need to assess each child individually.

0484 00:45:15:16 00:45:20:20

There are concerns, but they're not

serious enough for a supervision order.

0485 00:45:22:16 00:45:29:16

And this is because your mother

collaborates when there are concerns.

0486 00:45:30:14 00:45:34:00

You're given this opportunity,

so seize it.

0487 00:45:34:03 00:45:38:04

I will live up to your expectations.

0488 00:45:38:07 00:45:40:12

That's it.

0489 00:45:53:22 00:45:56:07

Hello.

-Good morning.

0490 00:45:56:10 00:46:00:06

Are you okay?

I don't know the time of day.

0491 00:46:00:09 00:46:03:13

Are you okay?

-I can't complain.

0492 00:46:08:02 00:46:10:04

Nice, isn't it?

0493 00:46:13:08 00:46:16:05

How are you, rapper?

-I'm okay.

0494 00:46:16:08 00:46:21:00

Great, man.

What can I get you to drink?

0495 00:46:21:03 00:46:24:24

Water, please.

-Now you're talking. You?

0496 00:46:25:02 00:46:28:02

I'm fine, thanks.

-Even better.

0497 00:46:30:05 00:46:32:13

A glass of water.

0498 00:46:32:16 00:46:36:15

You have a song? A cd?

0499 00:46:36:18 00:46:39:22

Yes, we have a rough version.

0500 00:46:40:00 00:46:45:07

We brought the music and a rough

version with the vocals. I sing.

0501 00:46:45:10 00:46:51:24

It's the social worker-client concept.

-You're his social worker, right?

0502 00:46:52:03 00:46:54:10

I help out his family.

0503 00:46:54:13 00:46:56:08

What's the song about?

0504 00:46:57:05 00:46:59:02

Simo, tell him.

0505 00:46:59:05 00:47:04:01

I wrote the lyrics because you know...

0506 00:47:04:04 00:47:09:00

we don't have

a very pleasant past behind us.

0507 00:47:09:03 00:47:12:03

It's about that.

0508 00:47:12:06 00:47:13:23

Their family life.

0509 00:47:14:01 00:47:16:12

About what happened?

-Yes.

0510 00:47:17:24 00:47:23:12

I don't give a lot of information,

but it's about what I feel like

0511 00:47:23:15 00:47:25:08

what I'm striving for.

0512 00:47:25:11 00:47:28:22

I was expecting you

to come with 'La Bamba'.

0513 00:47:31:19 00:47:34:03

No, that's not me.

-It's a compliment.

0514 00:47:34:06 00:47:37:06

Thanks.

-All the women loved him.

0515 00:47:38:14 00:47:41:09

Come, Antonio Banderas.

0516 00:47:54:00 00:47:59:04

Flashback, my brothers all together

missing old times, then it was better

0517 00:47:59:07 00:48:03:21

would you like to be me in my place?

it's not going well, hope it's a phase

0518 00:48:03:24 00:48:09:01

I hope darkness becomes light

it's hard, but we need to fight

0519 00:48:09:04 00:48:14:02

the past is gone, I need to let go

the problems on my mind worry me so

0520 00:48:14:05 00:48:16:20

look my brothers in the eyes

ask 'is it all true?'

0521 00:48:16:23 00:48:19:23

look my dad in the eyes

ask 'was it worth it for you?'

0522 00:48:20:02 00:48:22:07

things go they way they go

0523 00:48:30:06 00:48:34:12

'I asked my dad: was it worth it for you?'

That says so much.

0524 00:48:34:15 00:48:40:24

I don't know your story but you

tell me so much with lines like that.

0525 00:48:41:02 00:48:44:11

You don't go around saying:

I'm pathetic.

0526 00:48:44:14 00:48:48:06

You say:

I can't make it any better than it is.

0527 00:48:48:09 00:48:54:06

That's life and you'd better accept

that life is hard. That feeling.

0528 00:48:54:09 00:48:57:03

Do your thing.

0529 00:49:05:15 00:49:10:15

wake up, the house is a messy zone

the phone rings, caller unknown

0530 00:49:10:18 00:49:15:10

they keep asking 'Simo, where are you?'

I'll be back in a sec or two

0531 00:49:15:13 00:49:20:16

Mum tried hard to keep us at home

dad had left, so we felt alone

0532 00:49:20:19 00:49:23:20

we felt alone

0533 00:49:28:08 00:49:30:18

Can I listen to that one again?

0534 00:49:37:19 00:49:39:19

Just tape it to the ceiling.

0535 00:50:13:00 00:50:16:02

Surprise.

0536 00:50:52:16 00:50:57:09

It's your granny's birthday.

0537 00:50:58:12 00:51:00:12

Hurry.

-Make a wish.

0538 00:51:00:15 00:51:02:11

Hurry.

0539 00:51:03:10 00:51:05:03

Blow.

0540 00:51:10:14 00:51:13:24

Something tells me that this year...

0541 00:51:14:02 00:51:18:00

A new home, fewer kids in the house.

0542 00:51:18:03 00:51:20:16

A new guy in your life, in my life.

0543 00:51:20:19 00:51:23:08

Can you write?

Write it off.

0544 00:51:23:11 00:51:26:14

Fewer kids in the house?

0545 00:51:26:17 00:51:30:23

You're always welcome, but most

of you have their own place now.

0546 00:51:31:01 00:51:34:19

Sure, dream on.

0547 00:51:34:22 00:51:37:20

We'll always come back.

Don't worry.

0548 00:51:37:23 00:51:44:07

Only Rahma can stay with me

until she has settled.

0549 00:51:44:10 00:51:49:09

Until she gets married, has babies.

First she has to get an education.

0550 00:51:49:12 00:51:52:01

Maybe I'll become a cop.

0551 00:51:55:05 00:51:59:02

I made a deal with her.

She'll join the police.

0552 00:52:01:12 00:52:05:15

Enjoy it until you're 16.

Then it's a headscarf and the kitchen.

0553 00:52:05:18 00:52:09:08

I don't think so.

-A headscarf and the police.

0554 00:52:09:11 00:52:13:17

I heard that my father arranged

a marriage for you in Morocco.

0555 00:52:13:20 00:52:15:18

Really.

-No, with that strange guy.

0556 00:52:18:21 00:52:21:16

Suppose, your sister is old enough

to get married.

0557 00:52:21:19 00:52:28:22

Would you, as her older brothers,

arrange a husband for her?

0558 00:52:29:00 00:52:30:12

Of course not.

0559 00:52:30:15 00:52:36:15

Suppose she finds somebody...

He's a good man.

0560 00:52:36:18 00:52:43:01

He has a good job, a good future

but a different background.

0561 00:52:43:04 00:52:47:05

He's not a Moroccan.

-Don't joke around.

0562 00:52:47:08 00:52:51:11

But he wants to become a Muslim.

0563 00:52:51:14 00:52:55:11

I'm flexible and I will accept a lot,

but not that.

0564 00:52:55:14 00:52:58:04

You have a Dutch girlfriend.

-I don't care.

0565 00:52:58:08 00:53:01:16

Then she'll marry

some Simon van Basten.

0566 00:53:01:19 00:53:06:21

Rahma van Basten.

Just imagine, or Rahma Kees.

0567 00:53:06:24 00:53:13:01

You can still keep your own name.

-To avoid problems it's better to...

0568 00:53:13:04 00:53:18:24

Prevention is better than cure. Marry

a Moroccan man to avoid problems.

0569 00:53:19:02 00:53:22:09

If he's rich...

-No, stop that.

0570 00:53:22:12 00:53:26:01

That's not something

you should teach your sister.

0571 00:53:26:04 00:53:28:22

What matters is that he's a good man.

0572 00:53:29:00 00:53:33:05

And if he has a different background,

mum doesn't care.

0573 00:53:33:08 00:53:35:14

But your brothers do.

0574 00:53:35:17 00:53:37:12

Shame on you.

0575 00:54:09:23 00:54:12:24

Actor Jeroen Willems suddenly died.

0576 00:54:13:02 00:54:20:02

He was rehearsing for a performance

when he felt unwell.

0577 00:54:21:02 00:54:22:16

Other news today.

0578 00:54:23:16 00:54:28:21

A 41-year old linesman dies after

being attacked by soccer players.

0579 00:54:37:04 00:54:43:08

The man was refereeing during the match

between Buitenboys and Nieuw Sloten.

0580 00:54:43:11 00:54:47:20

The linesman walks to the cafeteria

but then feels unwell.

0581 00:54:47:23 00:54:50:19

He was rushed to the hospital.

0582 00:54:52:09 00:54:58:11

The investigation led to the arrest

of three suspects this morning.

0583 00:54:58:14 00:55:02:01

Two of them are boys of 15 and 16.

0584 00:55:08:20 00:55:12:16

I wish he had never visited that game

that Sunday.

0585 00:55:12:19 00:55:17:17

We had a party the night before

0586 00:55:17:20 00:55:21:13

to celebrate his brother's birthday.

It was a sleepover.

0587 00:55:21:16 00:55:27:03

I wish he had overslept,

but that's typically him.

0588 00:55:27:06 00:55:32:22

He's so devoted to soccer that he

will get up and go no matter what.

0589 00:55:35:12 00:55:37:19

He came back and then?

0590 00:55:39:07 00:55:42:23

That's when he told me...

0591 00:55:43:02 00:55:50:12

Two of my sons play soccer and I

always ask them how the game went.

0592 00:55:50:15 00:55:53:16

That's when he told me. He said:

0593 00:55:53:19 00:55:58:23

It wasn't very pleasant

because a fight got out of control.

0594 00:55:59:01 00:56:04:01

Even older people got involved

in the fight. It was absurd.

0595 00:56:04:04 00:56:09:09

I asked him if he had fought as well,

he said 'of course not'. That was it.

0596 00:56:09:12 00:56:16:15

He's been playing for so long and

sometimes things happen on the pitch.

0597 00:56:16:18 00:56:20:13

Of course nothing as serious as this

0598 00:56:20:16 00:56:25:00

but we didn't know any better

than things sometimes getting heated.

0599 00:56:26:15 00:56:32:23

But at night when my children

were in bed and I went online...

0600 00:56:33:01 00:56:37:21

I always check the news

to see what I've missed.

0601 00:56:38:21 00:56:46:02

Suddenly it hit me:

Almere, Nieuw Sloten, coma.

0602 00:56:46:05 00:56:52:01

That's when I thought: Oh, my God.

I woke him up and got him out of bed.

0603 00:56:53:06 00:56:58:19

'Is this the fight you mentioned?'

He didn't know what I was talking about.

0604 00:56:58:22 00:57:02:18

I explained what I'd read. 'No.'

-What did you read?

0605 00:57:02:21 00:57:09:10

I read that this man had collapsed

at home and was in a coma.

0606 00:57:10:02 00:57:15:08

It happened during the day

and that night he was in a coma.

0607 00:57:15:11 00:57:18:01

He went home and collapsed.

0608 00:57:19:08 00:57:21:23

I couldn't believe my eyes.

0609 00:57:22:01 00:57:26:00

And then?

-But then I...

0610 00:57:26:03 00:57:29:14

He stayed at home.

0611 00:57:29:17 00:57:36:19

The following day I saw in the news

that three people had been arrested.

0612 00:57:36:22 00:57:41:04

They were taken into custody.

Then, in front of him...

0613 00:57:41:07 00:57:44:22

My son was with me and I said...

0614 00:57:45:00 00:57:50:01

He wasn't allowed to play yet because

he didn't have a membership card yet.

0615 00:57:50:04 00:57:55:21

But they asked him

to play in that match anyway.

0616 00:57:57:13 00:58:02:01

That Monday I thought really hard

about what I could do.

0617 00:58:02:04 00:58:05:24

Then I called the police in Amsterdam.

0618 00:58:06:02 00:58:11:22

'I saw something serious happened

in the club my son plays in.

0619 00:58:13:04 00:58:20:04

'He's not officially registered yet,

but you need to know he played too.'

0620 00:58:21:08 00:58:25:12

They said:

'Then you need to call Almere.'

0621 00:58:25:15 00:58:32:19

I called Almere. I gave them his

personal information with him beside me.

0622 00:58:33:20 00:58:38:24

Why did you do that?

-Because whether he did it or not

0623 00:58:39:02 00:58:45:24

I have to take responsibility as a parent.

My child did play soccer there.

0624 00:58:46:02 00:58:48:19

I am very clear about that.

0625 00:58:48:22 00:58:55:17

We'll find out if he was involved,

but I assume parental responsibility.

0626 00:58:56:21 00:59:01:12

And that's what I did.

I told them everything.

0627 00:59:01:15 00:59:06:22

Did you take into account

that he might have been involved?

0628 00:59:09:01 00:59:11:02

Look, I always said...

0629 00:59:13:12 00:59:19:10

I believe my child with 75% certainty.

0630 00:59:20:06 00:59:24:16

But not for those 25%,

because I wasn't there.

0631 00:59:27:00 00:59:34:09

Once I had seen the photographs

that had been made

0632 00:59:34:12 00:59:39:00

and I was there during questioning

and saw how calm he was.

0633 00:59:39:03 00:59:41:20

He calmly explained

what had happened.

0634 00:59:41:23 00:59:44:15

He told them where everybody had been.

0635 00:59:44:18 00:59:50:06

That's when I said:

'I believe him with 90% certainty.'

0636 00:59:50:10 00:59:52:05

I will never say 100%.

0637 00:59:53:05 00:59:58:18

Because I can't guarantee something

for 100% if I wasn't there myself.

0638 00:59:59:24 01:00:03:06

But I believe my son with 90% certainty.

0639 01:00:03:23 01:00:06:03

Are you scared sometimes?

-Absolutely.

0640 01:00:07:24 01:00:11:08

Something very serious has happened.

0641 01:00:14:03 01:00:15:17

But...

0642 01:00:18:00 01:00:22:20

If he's involved he will get punished.

0643 01:00:22:23 01:00:29:07

My biggest fear is... Something like this

stays with you for the rest of your life.

0644 01:00:29:10 01:00:36:22

This is not like stealing a moped,

this is not candy from a shop.

0645 01:00:37:00 01:00:39:16

A life has been lost.

0646 01:00:39:19 01:00:44:07

So I think he will be punished, but...

0647 01:00:44:11 01:00:51:06

As his mother, I will carry this

with me for the rest of my life.

0648 01:00:51:22 01:00:54:12

If my child was involved...

0649 01:00:55:08 01:00:59:10

Whether he was the one

who kicked or not, if he participated...

0650 01:01:00:20 01:01:05:12

That's horrible for him as well

in that case.

0651 01:01:07:18 01:01:10:13

I really hope it's not the case.

0652 01:01:12:16 01:01:17:08

But time will tell.

0653 01:01:22:04 01:01:26:20

THIS SON WAS NOT FILMED

0654 01:02:04:16 01:02:06:15

Omar, school.

0655 01:02:25:21 01:02:29:10

I'll be at the hearing in Lelystad later on.

0656 01:02:30:10 01:02:33:12

We'll see.

-Ins'Allah he'll get out.

0657 01:02:33:15 01:02:36:10

I hope he'll come back home.

0658 01:02:57:19 01:03:00:06

Court House

0659 01:03:51:02 01:03:54:18

For the minors...

0660 01:03:55:19 01:04:01:16

From 16 years old they demanded

two years with six months' probation.

0661 01:04:02:17 01:04:05:19

And for one boy who was 15

0662 01:04:06:19 01:04:12:04

they demanded one year and two months

on probation, something like that.

0663 01:04:15:13 01:04:19:23

They still need to prove it.

The prosecutor can demand all he wants

0664 01:04:20:01 01:04:23:20

but the judge,

or in this case the judges

0665 01:04:23:23 01:04:29:15

are going to review the case,

watch the videos and so on.

0666 01:04:30:20 01:04:34:23

Abderezak.

0667 01:04:35:01 01:04:38:01

What is it?

0668 01:04:41:01 01:04:45:23

Just to be clear: you will not

behave towards me like that.

0669 01:04:46:23 01:04:54:09

I've been in hell all day and now

I have to put up with this behavior?

0670 01:04:58:01 01:05:03:09

Today we discussed

the personal circumstances.

0671 01:05:03:12 01:05:08:12

There was no press, no audio

and you're alone with your child.

0672 01:05:15:04 01:05:17:01

My princess

0673 01:05:17:04 01:05:20:22

Don't play soccer in the corridor.

Please don't.

0674 01:05:22:24 01:05:25:12

Don't play soccer here.

0675 01:05:32:04 01:05:37:04

If you're challenging me,

you've picked the wrong day.

0676 01:05:37:07 01:05:42:13

I'm going outside.

-I hope so.

0677 01:05:53:13 01:05:55:06

Can you get the door?

0678 01:06:00:21 01:06:03:15

Who was it?

-Omar.

0679 01:06:03:18 01:06:07:09

I...

0680 01:06:07:12 01:06:09:07

We had multiplications.

0681 01:06:09:10 01:06:11:14

Where were you?

-With Simo.

0682 01:06:11:17 01:06:16:01

I was in the tram but...

I was in the Derkinderen Street.

0683 01:06:16:04 01:06:19:17

I went like this...

-And you fell asleep?

0684 01:06:19:20 01:06:21:24

I fell asleep and then I

woke up on Dijkgraafplein.

0685 01:06:22:02 01:06:25:00

It was the last stop,

so the driver drove me back.

0686 01:06:26:15 01:06:28:23

I'm going to bed.

-No you're not.

0687 01:06:29:01 01:06:34:21

First you're going to make the beds.

You already had your nap in the tram.

0688 01:06:34:24 01:06:40:22

Mum, the teacher quizzed us on

the multiplication tables of 2 and 3.

0689 01:06:41:01 01:06:44:07

Did you do well?

-Yes, I only made one mistake.

0690 01:06:44:10 01:06:46:16

One mistake is okay.

0691 01:06:55:19 01:06:59:14

It was a hard and stressful day.

They all were.

0692 01:06:59:17 01:07:02:15

I was allowed to have my say.

0693 01:07:03:16 01:07:11:16

First I addressed the bereaved.

I told them I am so sorry for their loss.

0694 01:07:11:19 01:07:19:24

And that it's hard to plea for my child,

whether he's guilty or not.

0695 01:07:20:02 01:07:25:22

That it's hard to plea for him

knowing their father is gone forever.

0696 01:07:26:00 01:07:29:08

That's hard, when you know

these people are listening.

0697 01:07:45:03 01:07:50:13

What hurts me the most,

is seeing a couple together.

0698 01:07:50:16 01:07:53:03

They suffer together.

0699 01:07:53:06 01:07:58:24

Together they discuss what to do

and how to help the other children.

0700 01:07:59:02 01:08:05:00

Then I think... I had pictured

a very different life for myself.

0701 01:08:07:20 01:08:13:12

Once you've completed your task

as a parent, then life is over.

0702 01:08:14:21 01:08:19:06

Then you're stuck on your own.

0703 01:08:21:24 01:08:24:12

Oh well.

-What kind of life did you want?

0704 01:08:24:16 01:08:27:10

Just a normal, quiet life.

0705 01:08:29:14 01:08:32:02

I'm not talking about a fairy tale.

0706 01:08:32:05 01:08:37:18

Just a normal life in a normal family,

you know?

0707 01:08:37:21 01:08:41:10

With kids you can handle

and give enough attention.

0708 01:08:41:13 01:08:44:15

I just came back from a hearing

but my tasks here go on.

0709 01:08:44:18 01:08:48:10

'What are you up to', 'and you?'

I have to go on.

0710 01:08:48:13 01:08:54:24

I can't hit the pause button for

a moment. Things just continue.

0711 01:08:57:13 01:08:59:22

What would you like to do now?

0712 01:09:00:00 01:09:05:11

What would you like to do now?

-I'd like to go to my room

0713 01:09:05:14 01:09:10:21

close the door, put on headphones

with music and play solitaire.

0714 01:09:10:24 01:09:14:22

So I can organize my thoughts.

That's all.

0715 01:09:16:13 01:09:22:09

But I can't. The doorbell will ring

20 times, I need to cook and clean.

0716 01:09:25:15 01:09:27:04

I can't.

0717 01:09:31:07 01:09:33:20

That's life.

0718 01:09:43:01 01:09:47:01

Wait, just tell me what to do.

-If you hold it like this...

0719 01:09:47:04 01:09:50:03

Look what happens.

Now it's stable.

0720 01:09:50:06 01:09:52:19

So I need to turn it over?

0721 01:09:52:22 01:09:59:15

If I do this, make a claw,

I can never cut my fingers.

0722 01:09:59:18 01:10:02:04

Got that?

-Thanks.

0723 01:10:02:07 01:10:05:17

That's free advice.

0724 01:10:07:09 01:10:12:05

Is there anything you want to discuss?

-Yes.

0725 01:10:12:08 01:10:14:05

My travel allowance.

-When?

0726 01:10:14:08 01:10:16:22

After dinner when we leave.

0727 01:10:19:00 01:10:24:04

Simo, we cook on there.

-Just for a moment.

0728 01:10:24:07 01:10:26:13

Come on.

0729 01:10:31:11 01:10:33:04

Your mum's here.

0730 01:10:33:07 01:10:35:24

Hi, Charlie.

-Hello.

0731 01:10:49:03 01:10:51:17

List of chores

-No way.

0732 01:10:55:19 01:10:58:12

That's a loud doorbell.

0733 01:10:59:16 01:11:02:12

Hello.

0734 01:11:02:15 01:11:06:02

Hello, Zakery.

-How are you?

0735 01:11:06:05 01:11:10:17

Fine and you?

-Simo. Come on, get up.

0736 01:11:11:17 01:11:14:07

You okay?

0737 01:11:15:07 01:11:18:02

It's finished.

-I'm curious.

0738 01:11:18:05 01:11:22:00

little by little,

I'll show you my life

0739 01:11:23:07 01:11:28:12

wake up, the house is a messy zone

the phone rings, caller unknown

0740 01:11:28:16 01:11:33:00

they keep asking 'Simo, where are you?'

I'll be back in a sec or two

0741 01:11:33:03 01:11:38:07

mum keeps calling, she doesn't stop

since my bro's in jail, life's fucked up

0742 01:11:38:10 01:11:43:09

my days are fucked up

0743 01:11:43:12 01:11:48:20

Flashback, my brothers all together

missing old times, then it was better

0744 01:11:48:23 01:11:54:08

would you like to be me in my place?

it's not going well, hope it's a phase

0745 01:11:54:11 01:11:58:12

I need to stay on the right track

we need to fight and cut no slack

0746 01:11:58:15 01:12:01:20

I have to let go of what happened

0747 01:12:26:17 01:12:32:12

It must be proved that each boy

actually contributed towards the fight.

0748 01:12:32:15 01:12:36:12

But that doesn't mean

he used violence.

0749 01:12:36:15 01:12:43:02

You don't need to be violent yourself

to be legally liable.

0750 01:12:43:05 01:12:49:22

What matters is that you contributed to

the violence, even if others were violent.

0751 01:12:50:00 01:12:55:03

For example by cheering them on

you contribute to the violence

0752 01:12:55:06 01:12:59:13

and then you can be punished

for an act of group violence.

0753 01:12:59:16 01:13:01:19

No matter what the verdict will be

0754 01:13:01:22 01:13:05:13

safety coordinators,

the police, street coaches

0755 01:13:05:16 01:13:09:03

and housing associations

are all working together.

0756 01:13:12:15 01:13:18:20

I don't dare hope that he'll come home,

because during each of the hearings

0757 01:13:18:23 01:13:23:07

it was rejected, so then you lose hope.

0758 01:13:28:00 01:13:30:23

I don't know what I should feel right now.

0759 01:13:31:23 01:13:33:16

It's too much.

0760 01:13:35:18 01:13:40:19

Today I'll find out...

It's either jail or home.

0761 01:13:42:22 01:13:48:00

But at least you know where you stand

and how to carry on.

0762 01:13:48:03 01:13:50:01

It's not easy but...

0763 01:13:53:12 01:13:55:04

If he comes home...

0764 01:13:58:15 01:14:02:23

What should I feel? I'll be happy,

but do I have reasons to be happy?

0765 01:14:04:07 01:14:06:01

Somebody has died.

0766 01:15:13:21 01:15:17:22

Hi, Naziha.

What's the verdict?

0767 01:15:19:14 01:15:21:02

Two years.

0768 01:15:25:04 01:15:30:09

I don't know what to do, what to feel

or what to think. I don't know anymore.

0769 01:15:30:12 01:15:32:02

I'm totally lost.

0770 01:16:02:22 01:16:04:17

Damn.

0771 01:16:09:18 01:16:11:05

Yes...

0772 01:16:11:09 01:16:14:02

Omar isn't home

he slept at his brother's.

0773 01:16:18:22 01:16:21:06

Get dressed so I can comb your hair.

0774 01:16:21:09 01:16:25:04

It's underwear.

-It looks like...

0775 01:16:25:07 01:16:29:19

Women's panties?

You're turning into a woman.

0776 01:16:32:12 01:16:35:03

Hi, Charlie. How are you?

0777 01:16:37:10 01:16:40:10

So he can't go back to Almere yet?

0778 01:16:40:13 01:16:44:03

That means he'll be staying here,

which worries me

0779 01:16:44:06 01:16:48:17

because if Simo's home,

he'll hang out with his old crowd.

0780 01:16:48:20 01:16:51:05

Yes, okay. Thanks.

Bye.

0781 01:16:52:02 01:16:55:07

I want to talk to you, buddy,

because...

0782 01:16:57:02 01:17:02:07

Rahma was playing soccer outside.

Why did she have to leave?

0783 01:17:02:10 01:17:06:12

She shouldn't play with boys, mom.

-Just kids from the area.

0784 01:17:06:15 01:17:09:14

Her brothers were there, too.

-She was all alone.

0785 01:17:09:17 01:17:14:13

So what? She was playing soccer.

-They all play too rough.

0786 01:17:14:16 01:17:18:12

Not one girl plays soccer here.

Just let her play.

0787 01:17:18:15 01:17:23:06

And then you said:

'I'll hit you if you play soccer.'

0788 01:17:23:09 01:17:26:13

Don't you dare.

Just let her play.

0789 01:17:26:17 01:17:29:12

But then I called Nouh.

He also told her to go home.

0790 01:17:29:15 01:17:31:12

What did Nouh say?

0791 01:17:31:15 01:17:35:08

He said 'Rahma, what are you

doing with them? Go home.'

0792 01:17:35:11 01:17:39:12

I'll have a talk with Nouh.

You're all calling each other?

0793 01:17:39:15 01:17:45:22

Listen, she's nine.

If she wants to play soccer, just let her.

0794 01:17:46:00 01:17:49:05

Brothers should protect, not forbid.

0795 01:17:50:05 01:17:56:12

Hey, I'm being raised with boys.

-So, what can you do?

0796 01:18:08:04 01:18:14:16

22, 23, 24, 25.

0797 01:18:14:19 01:18:20:12

26, 27, 28, 29.

0798 01:18:27:00 01:18:31:19

I can't remember my mum

once holding me and cuddling me

0799 01:18:32:01 01:18:35:07

and saying 'I love you.'

Not once.

0800 01:18:36:12 01:18:41:09

We were severely abused at home.

And I caught the brunt of it.

0801 01:18:41:12 01:18:43:09

Because I'm the eldest.

0802 01:18:43:12 01:18:49:20

Being tied up, and being beaten

with an electric cord.

0803 01:18:52:10 01:18:56:15

Just like

'I feel like abusing you today, so I will.'

0804 01:18:57:16 01:19:00:18

Being humiliated, locked up.

0805 01:19:09:16 01:19:12:08

But we're Moroccan,

so we can't talk about it.

0806 01:19:13:15 01:19:16:16

You can't talk about your mum.

I don't say anything bad.

0807 01:19:16:19 01:19:22:02

Regardless. I still love her.

She did put me into this world.

0808 01:19:22:05 01:19:29:03

I'm 45 and I still wish

for one 'sorry', just one.

0809 01:19:29:07 01:19:32:12

Saying once: 'I was wrong'.

That would be enough. But no.

0810 01:19:33:13 01:19:38:10

No, she did her job until I was 19,

humiliating and what not

0811 01:19:38:13 01:19:42:11

and then she handed over the reigns

because I had to get married.

0812 01:19:42:14 01:19:44:17

She basically just sold me.

0813 01:19:44:20 01:19:48:13

That's what happened. I was sold.

0814 01:19:48:16 01:19:51:02

To a guy who was 30 years older.

0815 01:19:54:02 01:19:58:12

Sold?

-They agreed on a price and that's it.

0816 01:20:01:00 01:20:04:18

How much?

-Not much.

0817 01:20:04:21 01:20:08:02

For a 30 year age difference,

it wasn't much.

0818 01:20:08:05 01:20:11:02

It was 10,000 guilders, back then.

0819 01:20:17:18 01:20:22:18

Two years ago, I found out that my ex

already promised Rahma to someone.

0820 01:20:22:21 01:20:26:11

He was 34, Rahma was 7.

0821 01:20:26:14 01:20:30:05

I said: 'Do you really think

I'll give you my daughter?'

0822 01:20:31:08 01:20:34:19

Pedophiles.

Pedophiles, all of them.

0823 01:20:37:08 01:20:40:07

Have my girl go through

what I had to go through?

0824 01:20:40:10 01:20:43:10

With my permission?

Never.

0825 01:21:07:08 01:21:09:12

Hey, how are you?

-Salaam alaikum.

0826 01:21:09:16 01:21:12:13

How's it going, Naziha?

0827 01:21:12:16 01:21:16:18

Is that your son, Yousef?

Oh, Zakaria...

0828 01:21:16:21 01:21:20:12

Drinking chocolate with your mom?

Sweet.

0829 01:21:20:15 01:21:24:09

Did you go to the school already?

-Not yet.

0830 01:21:24:12 01:21:26:02

Why?

-Tomorrow.

0831 01:21:26:05 01:21:31:03

No, you have to register today,

before 10.

0832 01:21:31:06 01:21:33:12

Before 10?

-Before 10 March.

0833 01:21:33:16 01:21:37:08

Go now, so that he can come with you.

0834 01:21:37:11 01:21:40:05

Okay, we will go.

-Yes, he can go with you.

0835 01:21:40:08 01:21:44:02

Maybe he doesn't want to.

-No one's asking him. He's going.

0836 01:21:44:05 01:21:49:08

You're going, okay?

No whining. Go with your mum.

0837 01:21:50:10 01:21:54:02

Did you get your report card today?

-Yes.

0838 01:21:57:00 01:21:59:16

For reading, Rahma is

half a year ahead of her class.

0839 01:21:59:19 01:22:03:14

It's important for her

to keep reading at home

0840 01:22:03:17 01:22:07:08

and that someone asks her

what she has read.

0841 01:22:07:12 01:22:09:18

I'm really proud of you.

0842 01:22:41:02 01:22:43:03

Welcome, everyone.

0843 01:22:43:06 01:22:46:18

Many of you have personally

experienced the value

0844 01:22:46:21 01:22:52:05

of having someone next to you

in difficult times.

0845 01:22:52:08 01:22:54:08

To be able to trust someone.

0846 01:22:54:11 01:23:01:03

And you have experienced

the importance of breaking taboos.

0847 01:23:01:06 01:23:06:08

And getting past

the fear and the shame.

0848 01:23:06:11 01:23:08:18

Because if you do nothing,

nothing will happen.

0849 01:23:09:00 01:23:13:02

So it's important

to not remain a victim.

0850 01:23:13:05 01:23:16:11

But if you did, you wouldn't be here.

0851 01:23:16:14 01:23:23:19

With this certificate, you can call

yourselves confidential advisers.

0852 01:23:24:01 01:23:27:07

Naziha. The moment has really come.

0853 01:23:30:20 01:23:34:10

You never kept secret

what happened in your life.

0854 01:23:34:13 01:23:36:10

They'll come out anyway.

0855 01:23:36:13 01:23:39:12

Better have it out in the open.

-Better out in the open.

0856 01:23:39:15 01:23:45:17

We know there was an old Naziha

and there's a new Naziha now.

0857 01:23:45:20 01:23:47:12

A younger version.

0858 01:23:50:10 01:23:55:05

And we wish you all the best,

with everything you want to do.

0859 01:23:55:08 01:23:57:14

Thank you.

0860 01:23:58:09 01:24:02:15

I also have a rose for you,

and look here...

0861 01:24:02:18 01:24:06:12

A certificate.

-My first certificate ever.

0862 01:24:06:15 01:24:10:11

I had one for bearing children

but I didn't get a diploma for that.

0863 01:24:13:23 01:24:15:12

Thank you so much.

0864 01:24:18:09 01:24:21:15

Isn't it beautiful?

That's for you.

0865 01:24:41:18 01:24:47:14

When the social workers came

and my husband went

0866 01:24:47:17 01:24:51:20

I always said:

'It's not time for me yet.'

0867 01:24:53:06 01:24:56:20

I know that that pit

is so big, so dark...

0868 01:24:57:18 01:24:59:11

so deep

0869 01:24:59:14 01:25:04:03

that I'm afraid to fall in

if I open it up.

0870 01:25:04:06 01:25:09:02

And I won't be any good

to my children then. I know this.

0871 01:25:16:02 01:25:20:20

I'm my own psychologist sometimes.

That's why I'm always busy for people.

0872 01:25:21:02 01:25:28:00

If you see people running around

and helping, it's also for themselves.

0873 01:25:28:03 01:25:32:10

To not have to face

their own problems.

0874 01:25:32:13 01:25:37:19

When I have a moment's rest,

when I'm not running around

0875 01:25:38:01 01:25:39:18

that's when those things surface.

0876 01:25:40:00 01:25:43:10

So I prefer to occupy myself.

-Escape behavior.

0877 01:25:43:13 01:25:46:02

Escape behavior.

I'm escaping.

0878 01:25:47:15 01:25:51:18

What are you afraid of?

-Of having a breakdown.

0879 01:25:51:21 01:25:56:08

And I can't afford that

with social workers around.

0880 01:25:56:11 01:26:02:15

They're all just waiting to see

that I can't do it. But I can.

0881 01:26:02:18 01:26:06:10

That's the reason why.

Rahma still needs me.

0882 01:26:06:13 01:26:10:18

She doesn't need a mother

popping pills and what not.

0883 01:26:10:21 01:26:15:06

Rahma still needs me. Omar and

Abderezak too. They all need me.

0884 01:26:18:08 01:26:19:21

Let me have a look.

0885 01:26:19:24 01:26:22:15

Can't I stand like this?

This is so dusty.

0886 01:26:22:18 01:26:27:01

Sure, stand however

you feel comfortable.

0887 01:26:34:14 01:26:40:02

We'd like a short text

to accompany your glamour photos.

0888 01:26:40:05 01:26:44:07

How does it feel to be titled

an Amsterdam hero?

0889 01:26:44:10 01:26:46:11

Do you feel like a role model?

0890 01:26:47:20 01:26:55:06

No, I honestly don't see myself

as a role model or as a hero.

0891 01:26:55:09 01:26:58:05

You just have to do what comes along.

0892 01:28:21:13 01:28:26:13

Ladies and gentlemen,

to New West, to Holland, to freedom.

0893 01:28:44:00 01:28:50:02

Dear Rahma, always be proud

of yourself and believe in yourself.

0894 01:28:50:05 01:28:53:12

When you're big,

and have to fight in the big world

0895 01:28:53:16 01:28:55:16

then think of mum's words.

0896 01:28:55:19 01:29:01:00

You can achieve whatever you want,

as long as you fight for it.

0897 01:29:01:03 01:29:05:06

I have a letter for all my kids,

and this one is especially for you.

0898 01:29:05:09 01:29:07:08

Lots of kisses. I love you, champ.

0899 01:29:07:11 01:29:09:03

Your mum.