Presenter:

For most people in Tsakane, a week day begins long before dawn. In their four-roomed house, a family of four needs a strict morning regiment. The Motlaung family live a good, but humble life. While three grownup children have already left home, and are trying to make it on their own, Steve and his older brother, Anthony, are still in school.

Their mother, Sandra, is a dedicated wife and caring mother, a housewife who looks after the neighbours' children for extra income. The father, Johannes, leaves for work just after sunrise, and arrives home long after dark. But this is where tonight's special assignment ends. The beginning takes us back to a time most South Africans would prefer to forget.

Video:

(singing). [Afrikaans].

Presenter:

This was the world of the Laing family in 1955. Sannie and Abraham were staunch Afrikaner who supported and believed in the government of the day. It served them well. Then their daughter, Sandra, was born. Unlike her older brother, Sandra was much darker than her parents, but it didn't seem to matter. She was their child they said. They loved her as much as they did her lighter-skinned baby brother.

The Laings lived in a remote place called Brereton Park. They were shop owners. Sannie tended to the shop at home, which served the nearby Black community of Driefontein, while Abraham ran a shop at Panbult a few kilometres away. Sandra grew up like any other White little Afrikaans girl. She seemed outgoing and happy, unaware of the storm that would rage around her later in life.

Today, at the age of 44, Sandra is reserved and shy. She doesn't speak easily about herself or her feelings, yet she still remembers her carefree years, now, light years away. Her mother was gentle and protective, says Sandra.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Her father was a patriarch, and very strict.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Sandra's baby brother was nine years younger than her. And though lighter in complexion, he resembled his sister. Sandra was unaware that she was different, until the day she had to go to boarding school in Piet Retief.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

[Afrikaans].

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Sandra made it to standard two. She was a timid eleven-year-old when she was expelled, yet her memory is vivid when it comes to the man, who in her mind, was responsible for turning her world upside down.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Mr. Van Tonder was the head of the hostel, and served on the school committee at that time. Parents had petitioned the school to have Sandra expelled. The committee decided to refer her case to the Department of Home Affairs, where she was officially classified Black. Callously the administrator of the Transvaal authorised her expulsion. And in Piet Retief, laws were obeyed.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

While Sandra's lighter-skinned, younger brother was allowed to remain and finish school, she became home-bound, with her father as educator. For two years he battled with the authorities to have his isolated and dejected daughter reclassified White.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Finally, when she could go back to a White school, she was accepted by a Roman Catholic school in Newcastle, but it was too late. Sandra had fallen behind in her school work, and struggled with English. The nuns were good to her, but being much older than the others in her class, she missed her friends back home.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

At 15, Sandra ran away from home with a Black man from Driefontein called Petrus Zwane. When last seen, she and Petrus had two children, and were living in a so-called homeland. Her White family had severed all ties, and she had come to accept the Black community, who in turn had accepted her.

25 years later, South Africa has no homeland, and people are no longer classified on race, yet Sandra remains haunted by her past. Hers is a history filled with loss. The struggle for survival was no time for reflection.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Now Sandra embarked on a journey to revisit her past, that would perhaps lay it to rest. Her only request was that her youngest son, Steve, accompany her. Ironically, Steve's 11, the same age Sandra was when her world of innocence started crumbling. The destination Brereton Park.

It was a misty morning when we arrived at what was once the home of the Laing family. Other people live there now, and what's left of the dwelling looks different. Yet the scene was picturesque, and the new occupants paid little attention to their visitors. They seemed accustomed to people stopping by, taking pictures, and asking questions.

Simon [Molotsha] has lived in the house since Sandra's parents moved away. He told her he still remembered her as a little girl about Steve's size, and said the two of them were welcome to look around. Sandra's parents also had cattle. And she remembered how the young calves used to lick and suck her hands. Steve failed miserably to share her experience.

Steve Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

But he did make his mother smile, and for a while, Sandra was 11 years old again, with pleasant memories. Her thoughts also went back to Petrus, the vegetable seller from Driefontein whom she got to know at 13, before she was sent to the convent in Newcastle.

[Afrikaans].

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

[Afrikaans].

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Sandra's journey took her across the border to Swaziland, travelling as a South African citizen. Yet, Sandra was already in her 20s by the time she finally managed to get any form of legal identification. Wanting to be with Petrus, with whom she already had two children, she applied for a so-called coloured ID, but her father didn't want his then classified White daughter, who was once classified Black, to be reclassified coloured.

His refusal to sign a document condemned his own daughter to living life as a non-person. It's 30 years since Sandra and Petrus fled to Swaziland. Now she's a tourist. Then, she was a 15-year-old White girl, and Petrus a Black man. Three months later they were arrested. Sandra thinks her father must have called the police.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Sandra was taken to Carolina, where she spent two long months behind bars, with neither one of her parents coming to see her. Here a confused and frightened young girl was forced into making a choice that would determine her destiny.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Sandra was finally released and allowed with the Zwane family. Years later, she and Petrus' mother, Jenny, are still close. It's a special bond that was established when Jenny had accepted her as a daughter.

Steve Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Jenny:

[foreign langauge].

Presenter:

In turn, she accepted responsibility for helping Jenny to raise Petrus' children from a previous marriage. At 16, Sandra fell pregnant. Jenny helped her to give birth to a boy she named Henry. Elsie was born a year later. It was Petrus and Jenny who helped Sandra maintain contact with her mother.

Jenny:

[foreign langauge].

Sandra Motlaung:

[foreign langauge].

Jenny:

[foreign langauge].

Sandra Motlaung:

[foreign language].

Jenny:

[foreign langauge].

Presenter:

Sandra's secretly paid short visits to her mother, and was able to show her both Henry and Elsie. She saw her mother during the day when her father was at his shop in Panbult. But after the Laings moved to Pongola her parents worked side-by-side, which made secret visits impossible. Sandra never saw her mother again.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

[Afrikaans].

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

[Afrikaans].

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

[Afrikaans].

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Speaker 6:

[foreign langauge].

Presenter:

Life was good for a while. She and Petrus had a shop in Shakastad, and did well. But after their third baby died, Petrus started drinking. He became violent and abusive. Eventually Sandra had no choice but to leave, for her children's sake. Petrus died a few years later, and for the past 20 years, Sandra has blamed herself for leaving him and his mother.

Sandra, now needing to release those feelings of guilt and loss, for the first time told Jenny why and how she left. Without any legal documents, and with only the clothes on their back, she and her children moved to the East Rand. Here she became seriously ill, and with a heavy heart, she unselfishly turned to the welfare for help.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Henry and Elsie eventually did get to live with their mother again. Today they are happy, well adjusted adults, who are close to their mother and her husband, Johannes Motlaung. They respect their mother, and are grateful for the sacrifices she made. Sandra seems contented, and determined to give her children the sense of acceptance and belonging she was denied.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

But Sandra still had to embark on the most difficult part of her journey. This road led to Piet Retief and her estranged family. The root [inaudible] for her rejection as child, and the guilt she still bares. Nearly 20 year ago in Pongola, Abraham Laing did acknowledge that Sandra was their daughter, but he refused to discuss her.

Sannie said she no longer saw her because her husband wouldn't allow her. Her face revealed years of anguish only a mother suffers when a child is lost. Sandra last heard from her mother more than 10 years ago when her father died. Some money, and a two-page letter without a returning address. Sannie is still alive, but elderly and fragile, and has suffered three strokes. Abraham lies buried in Pretoria.

Both her brothers made it clear that they'd prefer not to see her. She has made her own bed, they said, and they'd rather leave the past alone. They also felt it best for their ailing mother not to hear from, or see her daughter. The shock might kill her. So Sandra, the little girl who once epitomised the absurdity and injustice of apartheid, remains barred from her family with a self-appointed burden of guilt.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Presenter:

Since then, new light has been thrown on the subject of Sandra Laing. Mr. Willie Meyer, who was the family's elder in the Dutch Reformed Church at the time Sandra was enrolled at Piet Retief Primary said he foresaw trouble, and managed to convince the government to accept Sandra in a so-called international school in Pretoria. A school especially designed for the children of foreign diplomats.

School fees and boarding costs would have been set aside. But when Mr. Meyer gave Sandra's father the good news, Abraham Laing defiantly rejected the offer. For reasons of his own, he insisted that his daughter remain in Piet Retief. Sandra has come a long way since those days. Now in Tsakane, her life revolves around her family.

Back in Piet Retief, the primary school has undergone a metamorphosis. Though the Afrikaans classes are no different, the English classes are happily mixed. "The children prefer to be educated in English," explained the principle, Mr. Piet Roodt.

Piet Roodt:

We had to make some changes. The staff had to make some changes. We decided that we were going to meet those head-on. Coming from a conservative background, et cetera, and now all of a sudden we have a [inaudible] medium school with three or four cultures in the school, without really being prepared for this. And the challenge is obviously now to try and make it worthwhile for everybody, and to make it succeed.

Presenter:

Judging by the children, and specifically those now living in the hostel, the school has come a long way in meeting its challenge.

Speaker 8:

The first time my brother came here it was just Afrikaans children, because they didn't allow English children to come to this school. And my mom was just fighting and fighting until he came to the school, then I also came to this school.

Speaker 9:

I thought the people will be ugly to me.

Presenter:

And were they?

Speaker 9:

Nice to me.

Speaker 10:

I feel very happy that there's Afrikaans children, and I can also learn Afrikaans now.

Speaker 11:

Mixing colours is not so bad. It's just that ... Doesn't matter if you mix colours, it won't harm your family or anything, as long as you join in the party.

Presenter:

Bravely, Sandra decided that she too should join in the party, though she knew it wouldn't be easy going back to her first memories of rejection. The irony is that while she had run away to Swaziland 30 years ago, many of these children now came across the border to the same school.

Speaker 12:

[Afrikaans].

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Speaker 13:

Sandra, I just want to tell you that, don't feel ashamed of yourself, that you're welcome in this school. To bring your children or something. And this school has changed. And it's changed very much, and it's a very nice school. We learned very quickly things, and ...

Speaker 14:

Whenever we have a fight with any Afrikaans children, White children, then the teachers always help us, and they tell us that colour doesn't matter, we're all the same. And that we must just be friends, and that it wasn't how it used to be many years ago.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].

Speaker 13:

You're very strong to handle these things you've done. And it's just, I want to tell you that we all love you, Sandra. [Afrikaans] changed, and long time things have been changed. And next time we will carry the world. Try and make it more happier.

Sandra Motlaung:

[Afrikaans].