Precis

Around the world more and more people are opting for the single life but in Japan, loneliness has become an epidemic.

Marriage and childbirth rates are falling, as more and more young Japanese choose to stay single and childless. Relationships are too difficult, they say. In the country's last Fertility Survey, figures showed that a quarter of women in their 30s were single, and half of those weren't interested in having a relationship.

Many Japanese adults aren't even having sex. It's estimated around 10 per cent of people in their 30s are still virgins. By 2040, it's estimated nearly half of Japan's population will be single.

Correspondent Jake Sturmer has reported from the ABC's Tokyo bureau for four years and nothing has confounded him more than this social crisis. As he prepares to return to Australia, Jake sets out on a final journey to discover the forces driving this 'Solo Society'.

He meets 29-year-old Sayaka, who works in the fashion industry. Sayaka is happily single and not interested in getting married. "I'm under a lot of (social) pressure but I don't mind," she says. "There's nothing I can't do without a man at the moment." Instead, the objects of her affection are her dogs - Kogemaru, Unimaru, Rinmaru and Riko - whom she loves to spoil.

Naoya, a 32-year-old creative director for an advertising company, isn't in a rush to get married either. He often feels lonely but hanging out with friends cheers him up."It's fun drinking with my friends like this and I'm able to fill in the loneliness," Naoya tells Jake in a cosy bar in downtown Tokyo.

Jake also explores a darker side of Japanese society, meeting a man who has opted out in an extreme way, hiding in his bedroom and avoiding society altogether. He's what's called a hikikomori, someone who withdrawn socially.

In Japan there are more than a million hikikomori. Jake meets the mother of one who's become an activist, campaigning for Japanese society to be more tolerant of those who don't fit the mould.

"People believe they need to change the people who've withdrawn but I think it's exactly the opposite. I think the society should change," she says.

Jake spends time with Masatomi, a cleaner whose job is to clear out the homes of those who die alone. Each year, tens of thousands of Japanese end their lives alone, their bodies often found after neighbours detect an odour. Masatomi is calling for Japanese people to sit up and take notice. "It's something that could happen to anybody including myself. I strongly feel that we need to have connections with other people. I feel outrage, why don't they see what's going on?"

Tokyo nightlife GVs

Music

00:10

Jake walks, Tokyo

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: I’ve been the ABC’s Tokyo Correspondent for four years, and I have to admit, I’ve really fallen for Japan.  It’s endlessly exciting, and one of the most vibrant places on Earth. But there’s something deeply troubling going on. Why is it that in this economic powerhouse, millions of people are hiding from the world?

00:19

Hidehiro

Hidehiro: I thought I didn't fit in and I was bad or inferior.

00:45

Masatomi at apartment clean up

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Tens of thousands of people are dying alone and neglected.

00:52

Masatomi Yokoo: It is in a terrible condition.

01:00

Sayaka and Rika walk with dogs in prams

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Birth numbers are plummeting, and people are staying single.

01:06

Rika: It's not that young people are disinterested in sex, but that they don't want to get entangled with other people.

01:12

Tokyo night GVs

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: As I finish my posting, and pack up to leave Japan, this is one story I haven’t yet told, and it’s a difficult one to tell.

01:21

Jake to camera. Super:
Jake Sturmer
Reporter

This is a rich and powerful country, but it's facing a social crisis, and before I go I want to understand why.

01:30

Title: Flying Solo

Music

01:40

Tokyo trains/men commute to work. Super:
Tokyo, Japan

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Nearly every day from World War 2 on, an army of men thronged to work. Men sacrificed their lives for the firm and the family, and women stayed home to mind the children. But the economic miracle it built was shattered in the 1990s. Things changed; women could work, and work became more insecure and competitive. The old rules don’t suit the modern world, but new rules aren’t replacing them. It’s a paradox causing deep social anxiety.

01:45

Sayaka at dog grooming parlour

Music

02:25

Jake: "How are you?"

Sayaka: "Yes, I'm well."

02:28

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Sayaka Kinjo has a successful career in the fashion industry and she has no intention of following society’s old rules by getting married and having children. Instead she spoils her much-loved dogs.

Sayaka: They’re the centre of my life. Whether I'm working or going out I'm doing it all for my dogs.

02:32

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: By 2040, Japan is on track for almost half its population to be single. This is Unimaru with her new haircut, and this is Rikomaru.

02:52

Sayaka and Rika dress dogs

Sayaka’s friend Rika is also choosing a single life. Her dogs are Candy and Vanilla.

03:03

Dog photo shoot

Photographer: "Good, good… Good, good… Very good. "

03:11

Sayaka and Rika interview

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Do you want to get married one day?

03:27

Sayaka: Not particularly. There's nothing I can’t do without a man at the moment.

03:29

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Do you feel any pressure to get married?

03:38

Sayaka: I'm under a lot of pressure, but I don't mind it.

03:40

Dog photo shoot

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Figures from the last fertility survey showed a quarter of women in their 30s were single and half of them weren’t interested in relationships.

03:48

Photographer: "Over here."

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: I've read a study that says

03:55

Sayaka and Rika interview

younger Japanese people are not necessarily having sex. Is that true?

Sayaka: That's not true.

04:04

Rika: It's not that they are disinterested in sex, but they don't want to get entangled with other people.

04:12

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Is there anything that would convince you to want to get married? Anything you need or you feel like marriage would offer?

04:22

Sayaka: I may consider it if my current life is not disrupted too much, and if it gives me something I’m missing, like if he had a driver's licence.

04:27

Sayaka and Rika walk with dogs in prams

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: In what is still a very gendered society, more and more people aren’t taking on relationships, and they aren’t having children.

04:43

Tokyo street GVs, older people

The face of Japan is changing. Walk around the streets of Tokyo and you'll see plenty of elderly people, but not too many babies. A few years ago it was called a national crisis. Since then it’s only got worse.

04:53

Jake visits Naoya

This is an intensely private society, but I’ve arranged to meet with another young professional who’s prepared to open up about the pressures of living in modern Japan.

05:13

Jake: "Wow, what a beautiful room."

05:26

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Under COVID restrictions 32 year-old Naoya Kudo is working from home. He’s a successful creative director at a heavy hitting advertising firm, but he also has a work ethic that’s fairly new in Japan.

05:32

Naoya interview

Naoya: I don’t think many in my generation feel like they're going to bury their bones in their company forever.

05:46

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: He works hard and plays hard, and isn’t embracing the responsibilities that come with marriage and family.

05:54

"Before you moved in here, you had a girlfriend, but what happened shortly after? What changed?"

06:01

Naoya: When you reach this age, your partner will want to talk about marriage.  So we broke up.

06:06

Jake and Naoya look at Instagram posts

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: He recently made an Instagram star of his grandfather wearing his high fashion clothes.

06:20

Naoya: I hung out with him for the first time in a long time. I counted how many more times I'd see him while he was alive. I realised I'd probably only see him two or three more times before he dies.

06:26

Naoya looks through clothing

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Like many successful young people, he loves living for the moment and spending his money.

06:39

Naoya: I've worn this to work… This one has a lot of spikes…

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: This spikey little number cost around $2,000.

06:45

Naoya: It’s a brand called Givenchy.

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: What do you like to do in your spare time?

06:57

Naoya: I love to drink. I'm going for a drink with friends now, so do you want to come?

07:03

Naoya dresses to go out. Jake and Naoya leave apartment and head to bar

Music

07:09

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: It’s easy to live single in Tokyo. Almost anything you desire is there day or night. But try buying a home at unreachable prices, and take on the burden of a family, and for many it holds as much attraction as a straitjacket.

07:19

Naoya and Jake into bar with friends

Naoya’s friends are also trying to find their way. Marriages used to be arranged, now there’s few guidelines for dating, and people often don’t know how to do it.

07:36

Ai: That's why I'm single, I don't know how to make a partner.

07:50

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Katsuyuki has just started a relationship that he found through social media.

07:57

Katsuyuki: For me, marriage is not the goal of a relationship.

08:02

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Would you like to have children one day?

08:06

Katsuyuki: I don’t necessarily think I want them.

08:09

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Are you looking for a partner?

Ai:  Of course. If there was someone nice, I’d like to go out with them.  But I don’t think I necessarily have to have a partner.

08:14

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Naoya does want to get married – one day, but not yet.

08:28

"Do you feel lonely sometimes?"

08:33

Naoya: I do quite a bit, but it’s fun drinking with my friends and I’m able to fill in the loneliness.

08:25

Tokyo high-rise, trains

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Many people are finding it hard to reconcile their sense of duty with the pressures of modern life; the stress becomes overwhelming. Suicide rates are at disturbing levels. There’s few places where people can drop their guard.

08:54

Jake into Hashimoto's café

This hidden little cafe has become a refuge for troubled souls.

09:15

"Which one of these do you like best?"

Toru: Mario Kart.

09:26

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Its owner, Toru Hashimoto used to work at Nintendo.

09:33

Toru sits with café customer

Now he offers a ready ear to listen to their troubles.

Toru: "How’s it going?"

Client: "It's difficult."

Toru: "What? This, life?"

Customer: "Life."

09:37

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Toru was bullied at school, and knows what it’s like to feel rejected.

09:49

Toru: "So you’re home by yourself feeling lonely?"

Customer: "I have a cat."

09:54

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: There is a stigma attached to mental health issues, and many of his customers are lost or uncertain.

10:00

Jake sits at bar with Toru

10:08

Toru interview

Toru: There are many people who are not accepted by society no matter what they do.

10:13

JAKE STURMER, Reporter:  Do you think maybe in that case the old expectations have not necessarily caught up with the modern freedom?" 

10:21

Toru: That’s what needs to change, but I think it’ll take a while. Maybe 10 years.

10:30

Coastal town GVs

Music

10:45

JAKE STURMER, Reporter:  Hidden in the bedrooms of homes across Japan more than a million people have retreated altogether.

10:54

Hidehiro at window

Hidehiro Shinmasu is one. His bedroom has been his universe for the best part of twenty years. He’s now 40 years old.

11:01

Jake visits Hidehiro in his room

We’ve been allowed to visit this very private space. He lives at home, supported by his parents and has spent days mentally preparing for our arrival. The problem of shut-ins is so acute in Japan that it has a name – ‘hikikomori’.

11:12

"What do you do in this room?"

Hidehiro: "I read books and watch YouTube. This is a fashion YouTuber named Gengi who looks at clothing trends."

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: "Please show me."

11:38

Hidehiro and Jake at computer

Hidehiro spends most of every day touching the world through this screen.

11:59

Hidehiro: I like to be involved with people and I can communicate with many people through the Internet and connect with them. 

12:05

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: His downward spiral began when he couldn’t live up to his family’s – and society’s – expectations.

12:18

Hidehiro interview

Hidehiro: I wasn't very athletic or good at sport in elementary or junior high school, and I wasn't good at studying either, so I didn't have much self-confidence. I thought I didn't fit in and I was bad or inferior.

12:28

Hidehiro at computer

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: He felt he’d brought shame on his family. He was different, in a culture that values conformity.

12:50

Hidehiro interview

Hidehiro:  There is a lot of peer pressure and homogeneity, and there's not much tolerance for people who act or live differently.

13:01

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Were you able to go out? What was daily life like?

13:14

Hidehiro:  I felt hopeless. I couldn’t do anything. I really tried but then I couldn’t work hard anymore. I had no chance of graduating, and that was when I felt the most hopeless. I started to think about dying.

13:17

Room GVs. Hidehiro reading

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: He wants to feel accepted.

13:37

Hidehiro interview

"Are you comfortable with this life?"

Hidehiro: No, after all I'm 40 years old now, so given that, it's not okay that I don't fit in with society, but I want society to come closer to me, and I want it to accept me and be more flexible with me even if I'm a shut-in. That’s my biggest wish.

13:46

Kitakami drone shots

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: The call for society to be more inclusive is going out nationwide, from a little city called Kitakami.

Seiko: "I think the biggest problem is the fact that a child is suffering…"

14:26

Seiko in radio studio

The parent’s problems and the child’s problems are completely different.

14:46

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Seiko Gotto has helped raise the alarm about hikkikomori; she gives advice to those who are suffering.

14:51

Seiko: I always say, the parent needs to be happy and calm down first.

14:58

Seiko makes coffee

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: She’s been through the ordeal herself. It took years for her to accept that her son, Masato could barely leave his room – he was a hikkikomori. Seiko: I really wanted him to study,

15:12

Seiko interview

to go to a good high school, and to work for a good company, so I told him to study and study from morning to night, and I think I was a terrible, terrible mother.

15:24

Masato drinks coffee

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: As she struggled, she had some very dark thoughts.

Seiko: I really thought it would be better to kill my son and die myself.

15:41

Seiko interview

I had raised a person who was of no use to the world, and I was really devastated about that.

15:51

Masato crochets

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Things improved when she realised it was her problem, and she was the one who had to change.

16:01

Seiko: People believe they need to change shut-ins, make them well and work and pay taxes, but I think it's exactly the opposite. I think society should change so everyone can live more easily.

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Masoto is uncomfortable speaking, but agreed to explain his experience.

16:09

Masoto: I felt like my individuality was being erased. I didn’t like being forced to be compliant.

16:32

Music

16:40

Seiko walking

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Seiko’s been heard in Tokyo. The government has invited her to help fix the hikikomori problem.

16:47

Seiko interview on street

Seiko: I want them to know that being a hikikomori is not special. Whether a person is a shut-in or not, we’re all human beings. I want them to simply understand that each person is different.

16:57

Government building/Seiko in meeting

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: But getting these government health officials to understand isn’t easy; just speaking at the meeting is a little overwhelming.

17:13

Seiko: "I’m an ordinary mother, but I’ve been working closely with my son’s issues. I’m doing a lot of projects… I’m sorry, I never dreamt I'd have the opportunity to speak here."

17:21

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Government efforts to stem negative social trends have so far been ineffective.

17:39

Man sweeping at temple

For centuries, the spirit of harmony bound society together. People buried their own needs for the greater good of the family and community, but loneliness pervades this populous nation of 125 million. Traditional family bonds were strained with post-war modernisation.

17:55

Highrise skyline

As the high speed economy took off, mass housing estates were built for Western-style nuclear families, and the traditional multigenerational ties were broken.

18:18

Apartment buildings

Now the ‘Danchi’ apartments are home to thousands of lonely disconnected people. More than one third of Japanese homes are single households. By the end of the decade tens of millions of people will be living on their own. Many are left to die alone – like the 64 year-old man who lived here.

18:28

Masatomi enters apartment to clean up

The police have removed the body, but Masatomi Yokoo has come to clean up the mess. He wants the solitary dead to be paid due respect.

18:54

Masatomi: "Wow! It's in terrible condition."

19:07

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: The man who died had been an electrical engineer, unable to work after he had an accident.

19:27

Masatomi: Many people who die alone have some kind of illness. There’s a lot of medicine. And as you can see, this person was unable to live normally. He could only eat and drink, and then he'd throw everything on the floor. I suspect in the end, he couldn’t go to the toilet anymore and he became weak. But next door, normal life goes on. It’s extraordinary… just inside this room...

19:47

This is hard to convey, but this is all about broken communities. There’s no sense of urgency in this room, but I think he was really struggling.

20:38

Masatomi continues clean up

Masatomi: Potatoes.

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Potatoes?

Masatomi: He was trying to cook something. He was trying to make curry. Potato curry.

21:13

The room is saying 'help me'. The room was saying 'help me', but he wasn’t saved.

21:28

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: On average, Masatomi does three or four of these cleans a week – and every one has an impact.

21:42

Masatomi: It makes me sad when I work and it’s mentally tough every day.  Even though this person had family he was discovered late. This is something that we Japanese, who've always valued connection, should not allow to happen.

21:49

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: The man had been dead for two weeks before his daughter opened the door and made a grisly discovery.

22:18

Daughter interview outside apartment

Daughter: They say when a person dies, there's a powerful smell of death, but that's not the case. The smell of urine, excrement, and ammonia came blazing out. At that moment I thought he must have died. That was the last impression I had of my father, so I didn't want to see any more.

22:26

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Why do you think so many elderly people are dying like this?

22:58

Daughter: They become isolated when their connections with the community are weak. I think it’s increasing a lot. I actually asked my father to contact me every day whether it was just good morning or good night, but he was someone who didn’t listen.

23:04

Now empty apartment. Masatomi closes door

Music

23:29

Warehouse for sale of good from deceased estates

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Anything the families don’t want comes here, where it’s cleaned and sold. It’s about all that’s left to mark their existence. There are no official statistics, but Masatomi reckons it adds up to around 40,000 people who die alone each year. The underlying problem it reveals still haunts him.

23:40

Masatomi interview

Masatomi: It’s something that could happen to anybody including myself. I strongly feel that we need to have connections with other people. Why don't people see what's going on?

24:16

Birds in evening sky

Music

24:38

Sayaka and Jake on plane to Okinawa

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Sayaka’s heading to see her family for the first time in more than three years, and I’ve been invited to meet them. Okinawa is about as far away from Tokyo as you can get, where the bonds of family are still tight, and traditional rules go pretty much unquestioned.

24:48

Sayaka and Jake at family home

Sayaka: "Good evening."

Relative: "Welcome home."

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: "Good evening. I'm Jake."

25:11

Photo on wall. Grandfather's birthday gathering

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: The last time the family came together was for Grandpa Shigeru’s 73rd birthday.

"It’s a big family."

Sayaka: Yes big family! Sister, sister.

25:27

Family members prepare meal

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Sayaka’s sisters are married with children, but didn’t come tonight. Her aunties married young, and live close by.

25:41

Family at table

Sayaka: "Have I become cute?"

Shigeru: "You’ve gained."

Sayaka: "I've gained weight?"

25:50

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: How nice is it to see Sayaka-san?

26:05

Jake with Grandfather Shigeru

Shigeru: I’m happy. She’s my grandchild. I don’t say it, but in my heart I’m happy.

26:08

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: What do you think about the dogs?

26:24

Shigeru: No… No, no, no, no.

26:27

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Sayaka-san tells us she’s happily single and not interested in marriage or kids. What do you think about that?

Shigeru: I think she’s an idiot.

26:34

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Grandpa Shigeru doesn’t mince words, And he’s in his element with his big family around him.

26:46

Shigeru: I’d be done for if I was left alone. I’d have a lonely death. It’s like that in the mainland Japan, right? I see in the news that people left alone even if they have a family. I don’t want to become like that.

26:57

Birthday celebration for dog

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: Sayaka’s aunties hope that one day she’ll bring human children back to visit – but for now they indulge these kids. It’s Kogemaru’s birthday.

27:21

Shigeru: "Is this for the dogs? I don’t get it..."

27:40

Jake and Shigeru

I personally don’t think more individualism is good, but there are demands in today's society so there’s nothing we can do. The population is declining from a low birth rate. This is bad. The country will perish.

27:58

Autumn foliage

Music

28:27

Jake drives

JAKE STURMER, Reporter: This spiritual land is facing a social crisis. Globalisation and consumerism have brought prosperity and new freedoms, but they weigh heavily on an ancient complex culture that’s resisting change. The discord leaves many of its people struggling, and unable to find a harmonious path in the modern world.

28:31

Credit start [see below]

Music

29:00

Photo. Naoya and grandather.CARD:
Naoya’s grandfather Tetsuya died shortly after filming.
Naoya was able to see him one last time.

29:31

29:40