Speaker 1:

With 1,000's of awaiting trial prisoners back on our streets, many question whether jail can change those behind bars. Tonight on special assignment, we meet two former prisoners who managed to turn theirs lives around.

Recently an anonymous prisoner wrote these words from inside.

David Marais:

Will I live again? I have saw the [balconies] of the skies above. Is it just a dream? I have lived in the ditches of the lowest debt. Will I live again? One day I know the truth. Is it all a lie? Being in prison is a different world and outside is a different world. So I've been in prison for so many years and I've missed out on a lot of changes outside and people, especially the community.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

[foreign language]

David Marais:

While I was in prison for eight years, five months, I was sent to prison for terrible crimes, attempted murder, pointing firearm, and [tift]. You know when you look back to how did I get involved into these crimes. So stupid because that's just because of bad friends and getting into drugs, alcohol, and letting it control your way of life and the influence of bad friends. But also have myself to blame because I'm the one at the end of the day who makes the decisions.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Speaker 4:

[foreign language]

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Speaker 4:

[foreign language]

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Speaker 4:

[foreign language]

Speaker 5:

[foreign language]

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Speaker 4:

[foreign language]

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

David Marais:

You lose a lot of your life. You're far away from your family, from the people that you care about. You cannot do what you want, cannot live how you want, you cannot think what you want because you know are controlling everywhere. Either you're controlled, but again you're still controlled by authorities.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

David Marais:

It's a hard place. It's difficult, it was very difficult because in prison especially by the prison gangsters. Sometimes you are forced into situations like paying tags, like joining them.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

David Marais:

[inaudible] especially in prison. Most of the guys in said prison are [inaudible] Saturdays and Sundays and they look forward to it. They get up to achieve mischief and [inaudible]. It gets to them. Something like that they're always look for to.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Speaker 4:

[foreign language]

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Speaker 4:

[foreign language]

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

David Marais:

Me, myself, when I was in prison, I feel very bad looking at my fellow prisoners, fellow prisoners of minds inside who have terrible times. That makes me feel ashamed.

The influence of drugs inside prison was more than what it was outside. So I say to myself, "If I can make it here in prison, face responsibilities of not being mixed up in drugs and gangsterism, so what can stop me from changing, let me [welcome] my life."

Nishi Pillay:

And the most important thing there is that the ex-offender has to accept responsibility for whatever crime he or she has committed. And that once one acknowledges responsibility, it actually helps in moving forward.

David Marais:

What I chose in prison is like being born again, giving my life to Christ and asking him to lead me all the way. On the day that I made a decision I had so much faith and fear was a thing that was far away from me. I've always walked, having faith. When you're in prison, when you go to eat maybe it's breakfast or maybe it's lunchtime, you always gotta look out of not being stabbed or your head not being bust, but I had so much of faith and I shouldn't even worry about even turning my head and looking back because I knew that God is there watching over me.

As long as I did the right thing he would always watch over me.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Nishi Pillay:

Every prisoner definitely the anxiety and the fear and anticipation as well of what to expect. Also depending on how long they've been away from the community. The longer the imprisonment the more difficult it is, obviously, to reintegrate.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Nishi Pillay:

It's anxieties, expectations, fear as you mentioned of what to expect. Will they get the support from the family? Will they get the support from the community? What am I gonna do when I get released? Is there a job available for me? I don't have skills. What am I gonna do with my life? How do I carry on from here?

David Marais:

When I came out of prison the most shocking things were finding out that I'm divorced. Secondly not a changes outside and losing so much of my friends while I was in prison. Difficult situations. The friends that I used to go out with and do all the bad things. Some of them been shot, some of them have been stabbed to death. That also played a major part in changing me so it was totally shocking to come out and find out that all of them are gone.

So at the end of the day I always sit down and ask myself the question, "If I was there with them, would I still be alive? Would I be that David that I am today?"

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Nishi Pillay:

The integrated approach is very important where the family and the community is involved in the person's reintegration. Every individual has the opportunity to make a difference in their life. They have also the chance to make use of opportunities and we believe firmly in the rights and responsibilities of individuals to do that.

David Marais:

There's so much of roads that you want to walk onto. It's very, very hard. I'm just trying like each day to take it a step at a time. My first basic step was to get to know my family was I don't even know most of my family members. It's not that I didn't want to know them, it's because of the life that I lived. I didn't care about anybody. Like I don't even know most of my relatives. Sometimes [inaudible] in town and they say, "It was David."

I'm truly shocked because how do you know them so. That's my instep. I want to move on though. I didn't give a damn about anyone. I always thought about myself first. And whatever I did there was no conscious in me and never cared. Since I've been to prison, really worked my life and working into my life and changed my whole way of life.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

Lindani Nxumalo:

[foreign language]

David Marais:

If you stand in faith and believe in yourself and you say, "This is where I'm standing and I'm not going to move," that's a positive step. Just to walk all the way having that faith you can make it because that's the only place where you can change and become a better person.

Lindani Nxumalo:

[foreign language]

Speaker 8:

[foreign language]

David Marais:

What I'm saying is that even if you are man you're supposed to be tough as a man, but sometimes when I'm in my room at night I cry and I feel so afraid, because looking at life and the difficulties and the changes, makes me feel so afraid. But still deep in my heart I still got that faith that I can be successful, I can succeed. Don't let this get me down. I get a lot of encouragement from my sister and from a few people who know me especially my pastor.

And I'm just taking it from there. Trying to fit in and get over everything. And I believe that I will make it because deep in my heart there's something that's really positive that keep on inspiring.

Speaker 9:

[foreign language]

Lindani Nxumalo:

[foreign language]

David Marais:

I always go to town, maybe two or three times in a week, just to get to know people because being in prison is a different world and outside is a different world so I've been in prison for so many years and I've missed out on a lot of changes outside and people especially the community. And I just go outside to see what people are all about, what they like and dislike and see if I'm still the same person or whether I'm a person that can fit into the community and that tells me a lot because as I walk around town, I meet up with people that know me and it truly helps me, it boosts me a lot.

'Cause I find that I'm still that person, but what makes me more happy now is that I'm a person that's able to fit into the community and I'm being liked where a lot of people and that makes me feel great because when I went to prison, before I can go to prison, when I went to prison I was disliked by a lot of people because of my life and the way I lived.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

David Marais:

Things have really changed. Like especially outside, prices of things. Like sometimes now when I go into town I don't even, I'm just afraid to even window shop because of things being so expensive. And when I was in prison we get things cheap there because we have [tack] shops inside so we get special discounts as prisoners. And when you come outside to come and discover that things are so costly and the cost of living is high, it's truly amazing.

It's like you're being in a different world completely.

Thami Welcome:

[foreign language]

David Marais:

If I could get a job like ... getting a job is a very important thing to me, because there's so much I want to do and especially like I've got a daughter and she's looking up to me so being a father without a job is being useless because there's so much that your child expects from you. You're not able to give it to her and for myself, as a man, I need a job to be able to do whatever wish to do and you cannot do nothing without a job.

That's my main aim in life, but I know that someday I will get a job although it's difficult. But I'm just hoping.

Lindani Nxumalo:

[foreign language]

Speaker 1:

Join us again next week for another special assignment. And if you have any comments or suggestions, you can email us at truth@sabc.co.za.