How Arnold won the West

How Arnold went from Terminator to Governator.

How Arnold won the West 'How Arnold won the West' is a hilarious political satire on the most bizarre American election to date. In true Hollywood-style and after much media speculation, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced his candidacy for Governor of California on The Jay Leno Show in August 2003. The world was watching. But as Schwarzenegger hit the campaign trail, were we just witnessing the cult of celebrity?
It all happened so quickly. One day it was business as usual in California. They had Gray Davis - a boring Governor making boring excuses for his huge $38 billion dollar deficit. And then - to try to get rid of him - his Republican enemies had a bright idea. They would resurrect a 100 year old law and call a recall election. The stage was set for the strangest election the world has ever seen.

In this election, even porn stars have policies. "Just because I do adult movies doesn't mean I wouldn't make a good Governor," declares 'actress' Mary Carey. "Vote for me. I'll be your Kick Ass Governor and put a tax on breast implants." Altogether 135 candidates stand for office. In 2002 there were only six. With so many strange candidates, the circus really did come to town.

But the big question on everyone's mind was one thing: would Arnold stand? And how would he fare against the other candidates if he did? Then Arnold declares his nomination and the battle really begins. "We want to recall this administration . This is like a war and we are like Twin Terminators. Hasta la vista baby!"

We follow Schwarzenegger from one staged and controlled event to the next. His aides, the men in black, run a slick publicity machine while Schwarzenegger frustrates journalists by using scripted speeches, limiting their access to him and failing to propose any real policies. But no one seems to mind - he has seasoned catch phrases instead. "Politics was getting a little stale until Arnold Schwarzenegger came on the scene," explains seasoned Republican Sean Walsh.

And just when it couldn't get any stranger, a TV network launches a game show starring some of the election's real candidates. "Welcome to 'Who Wants to be Governor of California!'" Contestants include the diminutive soap star Gary Coleman, as well as the oldest, youngest, tallest and bluest candidates. Top prize - the maximum campaign contribution allowed by law - is $21,200.

But not everyone finds the election entertaining. "This recall is bigger than California. What's happening here is part of an ongoing national effort to steal elections Republicans can not win," complains Gray Davis. He's understandably frustrated that just three months into his term in office, he faces a recall. His wife, California's First Lady Sharon Davis, relentlessly pounds the pavement with wit and pathos in a vain attempt to contest his potential defeat and humiliation.

And it isn't all fun and games in the Schwarzenegger camp either. Reports of orgies and drug taking start to surface and it looks like Arnold's lively past is finally catching up with him. "I have no memory of any of the antics that I did 20 or 30 years ago," he protests. But he's lagging in the polls and the voters seem unconvinced. A timely appearance from his Kennedy wife and he's back on track.

On the night before the election, the Democrats make one final plea to voters. "If we're going to recall every Governor that has a deficit then lets recall the President of the United States because he went from the biggest surplus to the biggest deficit." But it's all in vain. Arnold cruises to victory. But will the Governator be able to bring California back? And is it true what they say: "What California does today, the rest of America does tomorrow.."

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