NARRATOR: It all happened so quickly. One day it was business as usual here in California. People were losing their jobs...
They’d faced a massive energy crisis. And they had Gray Davis - a boring Governor making boring excuses for his huge $38 billon dollar budget deficit. And then – to try to get rid of him - his Republican enemies had an idea. A Recall Election. That’s when the circus came to town.... Amazingly all these people, even the clowns, are candidates to be Governor of California. Altogether there are 135 candidates - porn stars, soap stars even a Sumo wrestling star.

WOMAN IN RED SUIT: This year there are a hundred and thirty five candidates. In 2002 there were only six.

MALE STUDENT: I’m a third year college student at UCC in San Diego and I’m running for Governor.

MUSTACHED MALE : I’m the first candidate in history to campaign on a fairness for singles platform.

GARY COLEMAN : I am running as an independent please vote for me.

TREK: My name is Trek Thunder Kelly. Vote for me.

NARRATOR: Then a real movie star joined the race...

ARNIE SYNC: California is making history with this recall election. The people have risen up. 1.6million people have signed the recall petition. And they are saying we are mad as hell, we are not gonna take it anymore.

NARRATOR: The stage was set for The California Recalll- America’s most bizarre election to date. Just 62 days later, The Governator had won. When I first heard he was running I wanted to know how Arnold the megastar would turn himself into Arnold the politician? And would this really be democracy in action or just America’s ultimate TV reality show?

TITLES

NARRATOR: It’s the Terminator’s first campaign appearance. It’s so Hollywood ….. Even his security men didn’t expected this turn out. Arnie’s message is his celebrity. He’s the living embodiment of the American Dream. But how would he handle this new role..?

ARNIE: Last month alone 22 000 Californians have lost their jobs. We have to stop that. We have to stop this government from over spending over taxing and over regulating. We have to stop them because all they know is spend spend spend. On October the 7th I need all of your votes. Vote yes for the recall. Vote yes for the recall. Thank you very much. Thank you.Thank you.

ARNIE’S ECONOMIC PRESS CONFERENCE

NARRATOR: Arnie’s first serious policy meeting ……
The world’s media has descended for the feeding frenzy. But would Mr Universe have any real policies?

ARNIE TAX : I feel that the people of California have been punished enough. From the time to get up in the morning and flush the toilet, they’re taxed. Then, they go and get the coffee, they’re taxed. They get into their car, they’re taxed. They go to the gas station, they’re taxed, they go for lunch, they’re taxed, and this goes on all day long. Tax, tax, tax, tax., tax.

NARRATOR: Even if Arnie is new to this game – the team he’s picked are seasoned Republican operators. The Chief Spokesman had worked for Ronald Reagan and George Bush Senior – Sean Walsh.

SEAN WALSH : Arnold Schwarzenegger is the political equivalent to The Beatles. I mean when The Beatles came to this country … people screaming and mobbing them, and etc., and you know Arnold Schwarzenegger has brought Beatle power to the American and Californian political system. And you know, music was getting a little stale before The Beatles came on the scene, I’d say politics was getting a little stale until Arnold Schwarzenegger came on the scene.

BATMAN: You know what everybody says? He doesn’t have enough experience. But you gotta think, you know, he’s been married to, you know, the Kennedy family for like how many years now? And you don’t think he’s picked up something? I mean, you know, trust me. And he’s good. And I think he has a lot…I know he’s gonna raise our taxes you know but he does have a lot of good things for the children. For after school programs and I think if we can get rid of some of the crime in our children things will be you know going a lot nicer.

NARRATOR: Suddenly everyone is talking about the California Recall election. Even the impersonators promoting the attractions on Hollywood Boulevard.

SPIDER MAN : The longer Gray Davis stays in there, the more debt this state gets. Arnold baby!

ELVIS : I heard … we had a lot of money in the bank account before he got in and now we owe a lot of people a lot of money. And … that probably ain’t too good.

SPIDER MAN: I’d give it to a homeless guy off the street – let him be governor - he can’t do any worse. What, are you kidding me? This guy’s a career politician and he’s a moron. He’s the one who’s screwed us over. He’s the one who’s caused these problems. And he’s gonna go – he’s out!

NARATOR: Republicans really hate Gray Davis. They’d dug up a one hundred year old law, and just three months after his re-election he was facing this bizarre recall. If the Republicans could get more than 50% to vote against Gray, they’d succeed in kicking him out. But is he really the dullest man in the entire state? I had to see for myself...

GRAY DAVIS: Now let’s talk about the recall. This recall is bigger than California. What’s happening here is part of an on-going national effort to steal elections Republicans cannot win.

NARRATOR: Gray by name, Gray by nature. But his wife Sharon seems more colourful.

SHARON SYNCH: You know you work so hard. You’ve done everything right. You’ve won an election legitimately and then you find out that somebody can pull the rug out from under you if they have enough money to do so. And that’s what it kind of feels like, it feels like someone is just pulling the rug out from under you.

NARRATOR: Arnie’s campaign has got ¨real energy It’s got SoundBits, logos and T-shirts. But I’m beginning to think the election is less about issues and more about marketing muscle.

ARNIE: What has happened to that optimism which this state represented to the rest of the world? This optimism it was the envy of the rest of the world. Let’s put a spending cap on those guys because all they know how to do is spend, spend, spend! We want to recall this administration. We are mad as hell. This is like a war. We are in the trenches. We have to fight it. We are like twin Terminators. Hasta la vista baby!

NARATOR: Tax, tax, tax – spend, spend, spend. It’s clear this is going to be Arnie’s theme song. But with such a massive $38 billion dollar budget deficit, is slashing taxes and trimming spending really going to work? No-one here seems to care …. But never forget Californians have another 134 candidates to choose from – and in this crazy election many of them are against the recall too.

GARY COLEMAN: What everyone has to do, what they need to do, what they believe they have to do, to get their equal time. Hold on, hold on, this guy here too, with the equal time.

MAN IN TOP HAT: The recall provision in California is pretty much broken. I mean, you have all of us clowns running for governor. Not the way an election should be run.

BURLY MAN IN WHITE JACKET: Do not let this election be stolen. Do not let this election be stolen

CLOWN: My motivation is to come to this circus and tell people that to vote for the recall is not only immoral, it’s unethical and they shouldn’t be doing it. This recall is something that never should have happened.

BURLY MAN IN WHITE JACKET: Do not vote for the recall (Stay away from me). Do not vote for the recall. Do not let the Republicans steal the fifth largest economy in this state. This is a ploy and if you don’t know it you deserve what you get.

NARRATOR: A few heavyweight candidates with money to spend are beginning to take on Arnie’s mean machine....

HUFF/HYBRID ADVERT VOICE: We take you now to the California Recall race where Arnold Swarzenegger in his oversized yellow hummer takes an early lead. But Arianna Huffington is moving up on him fast in her clean burning hybrid.

BUSH CARTOON: Hey there again buddy I just got some fresh gas for ya.

ARNIE CARTOON: Thank you Bushy. Got to make up some time. I’ll take a short cut.

NARRATOR: In this election even Porn stars have policies …

VOICE OF MARY CAREY’S AD: The federal government wants to outlaw adult film stars like Mary Carey. As a California voter you can stand by and watch this happen

MARY CAREY ON AD: Or you can elect me Governor of California. I’m going to get rid of the car tax and put a tax on breast implants instead. In other words California, I’ll be your Kick Ass governor. So vote for me Mary Carey on October 7th.

LEGEND ON AD: Paid for by Mary Carey for Governor

MARY: How do you say I want to be governor of California?

[Taiwanese reporter translates]

MARY: Being governor or being president are the only two things I’d like to do, other than being a Kick Ass contract girl, after that my goals in life are complete.

NARRATOR: And no other Governor has done that! And just when I thought this election couldn’t get any more absurd, a TV network launches a brand new Game Show starring some of the election’s real candidates

GAME SHOW ANNOUNCER: Welcome to ‘Who Wants To Be Governor of California?’– the debating Game. And our lawyers made it clear to me that I should say: ‘it’s for entertainment purposes only’.

NARRATOR: Top prize –the maximum campaign contribution allowed by law – twenty one thousand, two hundred dollars

GAME HOSTESS: It is my duty, not to mention my great privilege, to introduce the first two candidates.

NARRATOR: Is Arnold here? Did Gameshow network land Arnold?

GAME HOSTESS: He played Arnold on different strokes – Gary Coleman. Let’s welcome a talented dancer, a very versatile actress with a lot of depth, Mary Carey. Alright candidates please spell Schwarzenegger.

GARY COLEMAN: S C H A A I Z E N E G G E R

GAME HOSTESS: No I’m sorry. Mary would you like to spell Schwarzenegger?

MARY CAREY: Why not? OK, Schwarzenegger. S H W A R G E N Z E R

NARRATOR: It isn’t all fun and games in the Shwarzenegger camp. There are signs that his lively past is beginning to catch up with him. An old interview, describing orgies and drug taking among bodybuilders in the 70s resurfaces. Reporters aren’t going to let this one go …....

ARNIE: Well, I didn’t hear what the last part was when you closed your mouth and covered it. But I mean I can tell you that I had no, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

NARRATOR: So this time it’s more No Recall than Total Recall …

ARNIE: Okay. I don’t know what you’re talking about but on top of that I’m here to push and make an economic agenda, I’m not paying any attention to all of those things. I have no memory of any of the antics I did 20 or 30 years ago.

JOURNALIST: I’m wondering whether you think that, as a candidate for the highest public office in the state, you have a responsibility to engage in serious discussions with journalists about your campaign and issues facing the state, and why you’ve chosen not to do that.

ARNIE: By the time October 7th comes along, I will be having done a lot of interviews. So, you know, one step at the time.

ANOTHER JOURNALIST: What’s the rationale for not engaging in any serious discussion with journalists who cover California government and politics?

ROBERT STUTZMAN: He will not necc…, this is an unconventional campaign that is not necessarily going to follow the conventions that the journalists that cover California politics daily, think should be dictated to him.

NARRATOR: Arnold may be short on answers, but he isn’t short on money. He’s pumping millions in to the race and he’s also got donations pouring in especially from business. He’s making a big deal about the governor, Gray Davis, taking donations from trade unions and other special interest groups.

ARNIE: This administration is not representing you, it’s not representing you, it’s not representing you, it’s not representing you, it’s representing special interests. We’ve got...

A JOURNALIST: Will you take money...

ARNIE: We got to get, we got to get rid of that. We’ve got to have a governor that is the peoples’ governor that represents the people, people first, that’s the important thing.

A JOURNALIST: Will you take money from business?

ARNIE: I will never take money from the special interests, from the Indian gaming or from unions or anything like that. I get donations from businesses and from individuals, absolutely ....[shouting].....because they are the powerful interests, they are the ones that control things, we want to make sure... you can not go to the Indians and talk about gaming and do them favours and promise them things and take contributions. How can you then as governor sit down with them and negotiate? It’s impossible. It’s over, it’s over.

NARRATOR: It seems Arnold only takes money from people he likes. With all this talk of money I’m getting curious about how this recall election had happened in the first place. Who’d organised all the petitioning? And who’d paid for it?

DARRELL ISSA [Talking to someone]: OK take care. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

NARATOR: I keep hearing the name Darrell Issa. He’s a Republican Congressman for California. [walks along corridor and speaks] He’s agreed to meet me in Washington. Darrell personally invested over one and a half million dollars to get Gray recalled.

DARRELL ISSA: I’ve been in congress for about two and a half years. This is my second term.

NARRATOR: He made his fortune making car alarms. Now he’s rich – seriously rich. And on politics, he’s seriously serious!

DARRELL ISSA: Well, it’s the best investment somebody could make. We were thirty eight million dollars in deficit and err my part is about one point seven million dollars and you know, I made a lot of millions of dollars in California I made it because the Californian economy was good, the work force was good. So you know, my wife and I decided that put a nickel into err per person into the recall was pretty reasonable amount and that’s about what we put in, about five cents for every err person in California.

DARRELL ISSA: When you think you’ve done the right thing, you hope that it’s not just the right thing in theory, but the right thing in reality. We need to.. we need to be crossing over there… The … the right outcome here is for the people of California to displace a governor who is clearly failed and they no longer trust and replace him with somebody that will take the state in a definable different direction.

NARRATOR: But Darrell isn’t all that he seems. The man who’d financed the recall has a murky past - in his early 20s he was arrested twice for car theft. Though the charges were dropped his brother was convicted. But this is America and Darrell made his money as the Viper king ...

DARRELL ISSA: My brother has a long criminal record, he's been incarcerated for car theft many times, you know am I .. do , I have a history of not being willing to .. turn my brother in or allow ... my statements to incriminate him, yes .. that’s not a crime and ... it is not something I am ashamed of... you know? I have never ... committed any crimes, … since the ... the possession of.. of .. a three inch little knife ... when I was a teenager, and an unregistered and unloaded regardless of what the police are saying ... littler ... 25 calibre automatic, you know those were youthful mistakes... but ... I’ve done just the opposite of being a car thief, I’ve produced millions of products to protect automobiles from being stolen all over the world including the Clifford brand in Britain, and ... you know I am very proud that ... I have sort of undone some of the damage that people like my brother ... have done in their lives.

NARRATOR: Without Darrel Issa the whole recall circus would never have happened. But had he really expected this?

A JOURNALIST: Good luck to you

MARY CAREY: Thank you so much I need it. (Signs autographs including on another woman’s cleavage] I am on your boobs baby! Just because, you know, I do adult movies doesn’t mean I wouldn’t make a good governor. I’d make a better governor. I know what it’s like to work hard for my money.

A JOURNALIST: You won’t screw the public either!

MARY CAREY: I won’t screw the public!

NARRATOR: Mary Carey has already made it as a Game Show contestant - now the show is auditioning for four more candidates.

CANDIDATE 1: I’m JohnChristopher Burt, and I will be the next Governor of California.

CANDIDATE 2: My name is Sean Vandevener…

CANDIDATE 3:… and I’m gonna be your next Governor.

SYNC CANDIDATE 4: I’m gonna be your next Governor.

BEER MAN 1: My name is Scott Vernitt…

BEER MAN 2: … and Kenny Campbell.

BEER MAN 1: And we are running for the Governor of the great state of California.

BEER MAN 2: On the butt monkey beer party platform.

BEER MAN 1: We think that the circus that is the election needed to be made even more fun of. So we’re actually promoting our beer product through the electoral process.

BEER MAN 2: So for the love of God, don’t vote for us!

OLD MEN (SINGING): Oh lord it’s hard to be humble but I’m doing the best that I can.

BEER MAN 1: If two guys who are promoting a beer company can run for the Governor of the fifth largest economy in the world, then this process is broken and better be fixed.

NARRATOR: Back on the Arnie campaign a new spin doctor has been drafted in. Perhaps he’ll be more liberal?

TODD HARRIS: Actually I’ve been working as a spokesman for Jeb Bush in Florida. And I just came in for the month. I’m actually originally from California so I’m home now. And soon I’ll be going back to Florida. (Explaining walk up shot) You may not have him for sure but there’s a chance he may come from this way. So you’ll have a nice approach shot…but it could be that we just swing around.

NARRATOR: Now I get it – this whole campaign is being staged for TV. I can see how Arnold got typecast as a robot. And the movie star look has been replaced with Capitol Hill chic.

ARNIE: Good morning everybody

NARRATOR: This time his team are one step ahead of the game.
Arnie’s answers have plainly been rehearsed.

KELLY (A JOURNALIST): What do you say to women’s groups, some plan a protest later today, they say that some of the comments you’ve made about women interviews in 1977 even in Esquire of 2003 show that you don’t respect women - what do you say to that?

ARNIE : I have the utmost respect for women, and it’s the absolute...I said crazy things, you are absolutely correct. It was the 70s when we promoted bodybuilding. When we tried to get headlines, because bodybuilding was nowhere to be found it was like a sport that was in a dungeon somewhere so we tried to get attention or headlines. So I would say things that many times were exaggerated or not true so just to get the headlines. But the fact of the matter is: you’ve got to forget about the 70s - I was a different person then - today we have to look in the future - at the future of this state., it’s not what was said by me in the 70s that has ruined the economy of California. Thank you, until next time.

NARRATOR: There are some issues that even his spin doctors can’t make go away. Arnie is under attack. More importantly, he’s lagging behind in the polls. It’s time to play the Kennedy card. Arnold’s wife is Maria Shriver. She’s been stepped in democrat politics from an early age.

MARIA: I volunteered in my first political campaign when I was five years old and I handed out leaflets with my mother and brother. And ever since then, I’ve volunteered in numerous campaigns. I’ve stuffed envelopes, I’ve licked envelopes, I’ve put up yard signs, I helped decorated here. I’ve made coffee; not good coffee but I’ve made coffee. I’ve bought union banks and I’ve shake hands. I’ve been in factories. I’ve traveled this country on behalf of candidates that I believed could have made a difference in this country. And I’m so proud to be here today on behalf of another candidate that I know will make a difference in this state and in this country.

NARRATOR: The rumour is that Maria had not wanted Arnold to run for Governor

ARNIE: I fell in love with Maria in 1977. I think you know now why I fell in love with her. She has been the most extraordinary friend and supporter that I’ve ever had. If it was way back in bodybuilding when she was concerned about what I eat, what diet I use. “Don’t eat enough … don’t eat more pie because maybe you’re not in good shape when you go to the competition. That’s the way she was. When I asked her: ‘What do you think I should do ?’, even though we did go back and forward for a while, but in the end she said : ‘you have to do what is in your heart, you have to do what you believe in’. And so Maria - I love you today more than ever thank you very much for being such a wonderful friend,

NARRATOR: With all her Kennedy charisma Maria is Arnold’s secret weapon. Some say she’s the real brains behind the campaign.

MARIA: I’ve been the niece of, the wife of, the cousin of, the sister of, every kind of conceivable political candidate. And I still say after having has all these different roles I still say that being the child of a candidate is the most difficult. My dad lost in 1972, I was devastated, and my younger brother, he went to school someone said to him “HA HA your dad lost”– and he said – “at least he had the guts to get into the race”. And I tell that story to my kids a lot so that they understand that this is an unknown and that, you know, just like they don’t know if they’re gonna win when they play. And that, you know, that we need to be proud of daddy that he did this, and it’s OK. As long as we’re all OK everything’s OK

NARRATOR: With polling day drawing ever closer, it’s becoming a battle of the couples... Sharon and Gray versus Maria and Arnold. Sharon is putting a brave face on events and the stakes are getting higher

MAN AT RALLY: You look familiar.

SHARON: Hi, I’m Sharon Davis.

NARRATOR: She agrees to let me spend the day with her in the Governor’s office in Sacramento.

SHARON: We’re entering the governor’s elevator.

NARRATOR (Interviewing): OK. So how long has your home been here in this building?

SHARON: Well we’ve been …we’ve had officers here since my husband was elected. He was elected in 1998. He took office in 1999.

NARRATOR: It turns out there’s more to Sharon than just being the Governor’s wife

SHARON: I wrote a book about a cat that lives here at the capital. It's a real cat. And … capital kitty … lives here. It’s a feral cat, a wild cat and the people that work at the capital take care of her and she gets an unwanted visitor at the capital and she is very unhappy to have her space spoiled by this sacredly cat

ISSA: I feel great. I feel like democracy has really triumphed.

NARRATOR: Oh capital kitty is definitely against the recall. Thinks it’s not very fair, she’s basically a fair cat. Bipartisan, but very fair.

NARRATOR: It’s convention day for Republicans in California – they’re desperate to take their State back.

MAN: I originally was born and raised in Louisiana. And they have no recall privileges there so we had a governor named Hughy Long, who was like that. And they recalled him in the only way they could – they shot him on the Capitol steps. This is more civilized.

NARRATOR: The recall has given them a new hero. The Viper king himself... Darrell Issa is the Cinderella who didn’t get to go to the ball... He’d wanted to run for Governor himself, but just one day after Arnold declared, he dropped out of the race.

ARCHIVE, ISSA CRYING: And it’s my desire…It’s my…it’s my desire….it’s my desire to see that the recall continues. That Grey Davis is recalled and that California has a brighter day.

DARRELL ISSA (in car): When I decided to leave … my many years in the business world and come into public service, that believing that I could make a difference, but not knowing how, I now begin to see that there will be courses and this is one of them, I, I’m having an opportunity to make a difference that you couldn’t have predicted by entering government service, but it’s happened.

NARRATOR: Arnold has won the support of most Californian Republicans. But just because you’re a megastar, doesn’t mean everyone is pleased to see you

ARNIE: The politicians have had their chance and they have failed the people.

PROTESTOR: How much money did the energy pirates give you Arnold?

SUPPORTER: Shut up!

ARNIE: One thing I can guarantee you: that the children will always be number 1.

PROTESTOR:Why are you meeting with Ken Lay of Enron?

SUPPORTER: Shut up !

ARNOLD: We need to find out…

PROTESTOR: Why are you meeting with Ken Lay of Enron?

SUPPORTER: Shut up !

ARNOLD: And I know that together we can do great things. Thank you very much

PROTESTORS (Singing): Hey ho Schwarzenegger’s got to go. hey hey ho ho Schwarzenegger’s got to go.hey hey ho ho Schwarzenegger’s got to go.hey hey ho ho Schwarzenegger’s got to go.

A MAN: I mean right now Arnold Schwarzenegger; everything’s that’s happening is like a circus. This is like a circus, people don’t want to hear his speeches they’re just here to get autographs and pictures with him. This reminds me of when Reagan almost went in and all the stories I heard, and the reaganomics that went through and the neo liberal actions that went in with Reagan. This is the same thing. Actors do not make good governors. We’ve learned that from the past but this country never seems to learn from its mistakes.

NARRATOR: Arnold’s been accused of ducking out of a whole series of TV debates with other candidates. But there’s a key TV debate coming up.

KELLY (JOURNALIST): Arnold - why don’t the people of California deserve to see you … OK… Why don’t the people of California deserve to see you - a man who wants to be governor in more than one debate taking spontaneous questions from reporters and the public.

ARNIE: They will see me in a debate. They will see me with all the other people. I will be available for that. In the meantime I will be traveling up and down the state and this is what I am going to do this is my plan: to reach out, and it’s been successful in the past. You know me well enough by now, that I am good in marketing, I’m good in promoting. I’ve always done it well and I will do it well in this campaign.

MAN JOURNALIST: But Arnold, you have a movie persona of being, you know, a brave guy and somebody not afraid to face adversaries - why not go on every single debate that’s available to you and face opponents?

ARNIE: Well again, let me take you back. When I was a bodybuilding champion, I didn’t go to the Mr Venice Beach I didn’t go to the Mr San Fransisco or to the Mr Europe and all those contests. I went to the Mr Universe, to the Mr World, to the Mr Olympia, I competed there, all the best come together and that’s it. So don’t worry about it - I will be at the debate and I’m looking forward to it.

GAME HOSTESS: From the Luckman Auditorium comes the most amazing spectacle of democracy, greed and political ambition ever staged.

NARRATOR: It’s time for the big debate – but one thing’s certain – the Terminator isn’t gonna be at this one.

GAME HOSTESS: A great night for America, a great night for democracy and a great night for game shows. It’s time for Who wants to be governor of California – the debating game! Let’s meet the players. All of them actual registered candidates for governor of California.

GARY COLEMAN: I’m Gary Coleman. I’m the smallest candidate running.

NATE WALTMAN: I’m Nate Waltman. I’m the tallest candidate running

HUMBLE CARL: My name is Humble Carl and I’m the oldest candidate running

BRIAN QUINN: I’m Brian Quinn. I’m the youngest candidate running.

TRECK THUNDER: I’m Trek Thunder Kelly. I’m the bluest candidate running.

MARY CAREY: I’m Mary Carey and I’m an adult film star. So I’m the most experienced candidate running for governor.

GAME HOSTESS: This is the first political debate with bonus points and a cash grand prize. One of these six candidates could actually take over the reins of the largest state economy in the United States.

GAME PRODUCER: How did we finally decide who the candidates were? We looked at about ninety of them I’d say. Uh Trek came off as very charismatic and of course dressed all in blue – always looking for a good visual. We really loved the quirkiness of Carl Meyer. The fact that he was the oldest candidate running was really good. And then when it came down to the young guys we actually had a hard time deciding between Brian, the youngest candidate running and Nate, the tallest candidate running. So we just chickened out and booked both of them.

NARRATOR: Today is also the day for the real TV debate. In the press-room, the game show candidates get to watch the rival show.

ANNOUNCER: The California Recall candidates debate. Just moments from now the major candidates debate the issues live before all of California. A debate that for the first time includes Arnold Schwarzenegger.

NARRATOR: Arnie is going into the big debate as the underdog. He is still behind in the polls.

DEBATE HOST: Well for the next ninety minutes candidates will answer questions posed by…

MARY CAREY: You suck. I wish I was there.

ARNIE: On October 8th it’s gonna be Governor Arnold OK so let’s make that clear.

ARIANNA: Let us just pray it’s not, because you know, you’ve been saying so many things and then contradicting them a few weeks later. But you know it’s very important if we want to know who we are, to expose the inconsistencies.

DEBATE HOST: Well lets find out who you are Governor Schwarzen… pardon me I’m getting mixed up here…

ARIANNA: What I find amazing is that Republicans really do not believe that morality applies to businesses. Is that the kind of business climate we’d like to bring to the State. The same kind of business climate that brought us Enron and Global crossing and Adelphia and has cost millions of jobs. And we’re still paying the price. And one more thing Arnold you know you talk about the third…

ARNIE: Arnold?

ARIANNA: Yes… you know, you talk…

DEBATE HOST: ..thirty seconds…

ARIANNA: ..let me talk let me just finish

ARNIE: Let me just say one thing. Your personal income tax has the biggest loophole. I can drive my hummer through it.

ARIANNA: Let me finish, let me finish. You know this is completely impolite. This is the way you treat women we know that but not now.

ARNIE: I just wanted to say that I’ve just realised, you know I have the perfect part for you in Terminator 4… that’s it.

DEBATE HOST: As you know ladies and gentleman these individuals are running for governor….

MARY (Watching): Along with 100 other candidates.

DEBATE HOST: I think at this point…this is not… ladies and gentleman this is not comedy central, I swear.

GAME HOSTESS : Welcome back to Who wants to Governor of California – the debating game. Alright listen carefully Gary – name four well known TV or movie stars that have been elected to major public office?

GARY COLEMAN: Ronald Reagan

GAME HOSTESS: Five points!

GAME HOSTESS: There have been seven Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movies that have made over a hundred million dollars domestically. Name four of them.

BRIAN QUINN: Terminator 1

GAME HOSTESS: There have been eight US presidents who died in office. Please, name four of them.

HUMBLE CARL: Four?

NATE WALTMANN: Kennedy got shot.

HUMBLE CARL: Kennedy!

GAME HOSTESS : What California city is home to the zipcode 90210?

MARY CAREY : Beverley Hills


GAME HOSTESS : When Arnold Schwarzenegger refers to Khaleefawnia, what state is he talking about?

HUMBLE CARL : California

GAME HOSTESS : Yes that’s correct!

NARRATOR: Which ever show you watched it was politics as entertainment.

SEAN HANNITY: How did you like the debate last night ?

ARNIE: Oh I just loved it.

SEAN: Well we’ve got our fist poll in from the debate. I’m gonna share with you the results. ABC television here in Los Angeles shows that 32% of the respondents think that Arnold won the debate last night.

NARRATOR: Overnight Arnold’s poll ratings have shot up. He’s managed to convince people he could act….like a politician.

SPIDERMAN: Arnold Arnold Arnold!

ELVIS: Well, I have seven televisions at home and I watched…everyone of them had the debate going on.

ROBIN: I saw Arnold on TV yesterday and that’s what made me think he’s quite knowledgeable.

SPIDERMAN: Mrs Huffy did a whack job. She’s the kind of nuts these people really are.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile the Davis camp is desperately trying to paint itself as the underdog – going for the sympathy vote

SHARON’S SPEECH : It’s so challenging for us in this particular race because you have someone who’s a movie star. And my husband would be the first to admit to you he is not a movie star. And this is a true David and goliath fight and he has all the money he can put into this – that is outspending us 2:1 on television cheerily by the fact he can write the cheque.

DAVIS SPEECH: The choice next Tuesday is crystal clear. You can retain me as Governor and allow me to finish the term you elected me to serve last November. Or you can elect Arnold Schwarzenegger as Governor? That is the choice.

NARRATOR: 5 days to go now, and the Arnie campaign has come up with its latest stunt. A four days bus tour of California. Over 100 new foreign journalists join the media pack. They’ve all come thinking they’ll get access to Arnie, get to know him, share a coffee, share the toilet, so what if it’s crowded .. How little they know what’s in store

TODD HARRIS: We have six buses, over 220 members of the media from over a dozen countries. And we’re going to be starting in San Diego and heading up north through cities big and small and talking directly with the voters.

NARRATOR: But then the Los Angeles Times spoils the party... Six women give the paper detailed accounts of alleged inappropriate sexual behaviour by Arnie. Surely this will derail the campaign – or at least wreck the 1st day of
the bus tour?

ARNIE: Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something a lot of those will have seen the stories - is not true. But at the same time I have to tell you that I always say wherever there is smoke there’s fire. That is true. And so what I want to say to you is, is that yes that I have behaved badly sometimes. Yes it is true that I was on rowdy movie sets. And I have done things that were not right which I thought then was playful but now I recognise that I have offended people. And to those people that I have offended I want to say to them I am deeply sorry about that and I apologise because this is not what I tried to do.

NARRATOR: Once again Arnold’s campaign team is ahead of the game. It’s a masterstroke. The apology has taken the edge off the accusations.

NARRATOR: Looks like Arnold has a sense of humour - the buses are named after his movies – Running Man for Arnie’s Bus, Total Recall for the VIPs. And just to make sure we know our place Predator 1 to 4 for the media. Arnie’s on a roll. Like an unstoppable juggernaut his poll ratings are still rising. Can anything get in his way? We quickly get used to the procedure. Off the bus, crowds cheer, Arnie makes a speech –

ARNIE: Because all they know how to do is spend, spend, spend. And then when they realise they’ve spent money they don’t even have then it’s tax, tax, tax!

NARRATOR: Same speech every time, t-shirts into the crowd and then it’s back on the bus...no time for awkward questions from reporters. The campaign team know exactly what they’re doing – only the big US Television networks get access to Arnie and then only rarely. They’re the ones who can reach the voters. It’s more like a Presidential campaign than an election for governor. The rest of the us are merely along for the ride.

JOURNALIST 1: I think that we’re here to show just how interested the world is in Arnie rather than to ask any questions.

JOURNALIST 2 : We’re just like extras in a movie. And you know in front of cameras and hey he’s got 200 reporters. Um and it’s just a vanity show then yeah that’s the risk we take just being used as props.

NARRATOR: Sometimes even the best laid plans go awry. Starved of any access, the journalists suddenly have a real story fall into their lap.

GAIL ESCOBAR: I was sitting at the counter at lunchtime with a friend of mine and in walked a bunch of bodybuilders. My friend saw Arnold Schwarzenegger and recognised him. She said to me that’s Arnold Schwarzenegger. I didn’t know who Arnold Schwarzenegger was. I don’t keep up with bodybuilding – I didn’t know who he was. They sat in a booth, they ate, they all got up and left. One stayed behind to pay the bill - not Arnold - one of his friends. When he was done paying the bill he walked up to me sitting at the counter and said to me: Arnold wants to see you. And I said if Arnold wants to see me he can come back inside and see me. The guy then dragged me out of my chair, out of the coffee shop, into the lobby, out into the parking structure and held me there. Arnold came driving down from an upper level in some sort of SUV type vehicle. He wasn’t driving he was in the passenger seat. He rolled down the window, looked at me, looked at my friend and said: we are going to rape you girls tonight.

JOURNALIST : Arnold did ?

GAIL: Arnold did. Yes Arnold!!!

NARRATOR: Gail Escobar was 16 when this happened some 25 years ago. The spin doctor is quick to go on the attack.

TODD HARRIS: She’s on the organising committee of the hotel employee and restaurant employee association which has recently pledged to raise $2.5 million to defeat the recall and elect Mr Demonte Governor. So what we have here are the first direct fingerprints of union involvement and Democrat party involvement in pushing these women forward to throw ridiculous and scurrilous accusations at Arnold Schwarzenegger. The public is going to see through this for what it is. Alright thank y’all.

NARRATOR: Todd Harris – T O D D H A R R I S – Minister of truth and information and enlightenment!

MARIA: People have known Arnold for a long time. They see him in his speeches, they watch him on Cspan. They watch him everywhere and I think they make up their mind that way. Not on whether someone says something negative or not.

NARRATOR: Arnold’s problems aren’t over. It is alleged he once said that he admired Hitler. You know how those rumours start – first your dad’s a brown shirt, then you invite Kurt Waldheim to your wedding – it’s hard for the Hitler stuff not to stick.

DOUG SAUNDERS, FROM THE GLOBE AND MAIL (CANADIAN JOURNALIST):
Just to clarify matters, Schwarzenegger says: “In many ways I admire people, it depends for what. I admire Hitler for instance, because he came from being a little man with almost no formal education up to power. And I admire him for being such a good public speaker and for his way of getting to the people and so on, but I don’t admire him for what he did…..

NARRATOR: But nothing seems to stick to the Teflon Terminator. His popularity is soaring.

WOMAN JOURNALIST: Now by the looks of it, you’d never know that Arnold’s campaign is being dogged by scandal – But even with controversy around every corner Arnold is doing everything to keep his campaign on track.

ARNIE’S SPEECH: You know they told me there would be a few hundred people here I see a few thousand. Thank you all for coming out….

NARRATOR: Between Hitler and groping no one knows what to talk about first.

MAN JOURNALIST: Do the people of California have a right to know if the man they’re about to elect governor has done things that might be legal might not be legal as far as these allegations in The LA Times?

ROB STUTZMAN: I think it was asked and answered yesterday. He gave an apology yesterday…

MAN JOURNALIST: But he never said what he had done. Nixon once said the American people have a right to know if their president’s a crook – do the people of California have the right to know if their Governor…..

ROB STUTZMAN: People of California have a right to know if their Governor is a person of character. I think what we saw yesterday was extraordinary if not unusual character of somebody who is putting themselves out there for office. That went through… showed the courage yesterday to stand up and say I’m a man that’s not perfect and he apologised for some things.

NARRATOR: The Hitler story is too big – and suddenly the campaign team require the presence of a network TV crew on the bus.

ARNOLD, ARCHIVE INTERVIEW on HITLER: Well, what I don’t rule out is that maybe I’ve made comments in the past….I cannot think back thirty years ago…you know what I said thirty years ago….You know, mistakes that I’ve made, I don’t know, but this is not me…. Because from the time I was a kid, I grew up, you know, to fight prejudice. Even when I was fifteen years old, when we had rallies I Austria, that were kind of leaning us in that direction, you know, anti-Semitism and all that stuff… I was rallying against that, and fighting for it, you know, fighting against all of this…

NARRATOR: Frustration among the foreign journalists is really beginning to boil over.

BARBARA: I’ll try over there

NARRATOR: Barbara is from Austria – from the same small town as Arnie. She has been trying to get a one to one interview with him for weeks. Now she only had 20 hours to go. But there is no chance for Barbara – or for me.

SUPERVISOR: Alex out. Out, both of you, I’m not gonna argue . [To someone else] I didn’t touch you.

BARBARA: I think, the way they treat us, I think that’s not fair. Guys, fast.

REPORTER WITH BARBARA: Keep going !

CROWD: “Arnold! Arnold!”

NARRATOR: Out of the blue, we are offered access. Not to Conan the Republican of course. Just to the Viper King who’s quickly learnt to love the limelight.

JOURNALIST: He’s given no one on one’s to newspapers to..

DARREEL ISSA: He gave me a one on one, I interviewed him.

JOURNALIST: But you’re not a newspaper.

DARRELL ISSA: OK, but I’m mainstream.

ANOTHER JOURNALIST: Little old me, got an interview with George Bush but I can’t get one with Arnold Schwarzenegger, I mean!

DARRELL ISSA: You know, the President does interviews on his terms. Arnold has a unique ability to do interviews on his terms and part of it has to be understood, this is a very short campaign. If he doesn’t use mass media in a mass way, he will not have enough time to speak to everyone. You know, part of the reason why I’m here as a surrogate is that Arnold would like to speak to all of you, give you this time and access but there’s only one Arnold and there’s five buses and all the other things to be done in between.


DOUG SAUDERS FROM THE GLOBE AND MAIL (CANADIAN JOURNALIST): I think as a political strategy this is ingenious because it’s meant that the Schwarzenegger campaign has completely owned the tail end of the election. Even though various scandals get stuck to Arnold and so on, because most of the world’s media and much of the American media are following him around in this bus and everyday on TV, every night there’s a huge story about what Arnold did that day. And everything else that all the other candidates do is response to that. So what you see on TV is Arnold, Arnold, Arnold, then a little bit of Grey Davis saying Arnold, then a little bit of Cruz Bustamante saying Arnold – and then that’s the end of it. And I think that’s gonna be the word, that’s gonna be in people’s mind at the end. I think he’s…very brilliantly decided to do that.

NARRATOR: The Game Show is airing every night now. Like the real thing – it’s become a simple popularity contest.

GAME HOSTESS: Welcome back to Who wants to be Governor of California. Before the break our finalists Brian, Nate and Mary were asked to create an artistic rendition of their vision of California. And remember go to GSN.com and hit the Play Now button so you can pick the final candidate you want to win the 21,200.

MARY CAREY: OK well here’s me where I belong; in Sacremento

NATE WALTMANN: This mean, old judge over here, put him up in Mendosino, so he’ll fight with the hippies up there…

BRIAN QUINN: Getting rid of the Politicians that have been around for their career

MARY CAREY:This is marijuana. I want to go all over the state and make it legal cos that makes money.

NATE WALTMANN: You’ve got to have this big tank up here to make sure China doesn’t come in and fight us.

BRIAN QUINN: We’re playing ‘Who wants to be a Governor?’, not ‘who wants to jump around and show us her big boobs?’

MARY CAREY: I just want to say I think you’re really mean. You’ve never had sex with a girl with boobs this big, so!

GAME HOSTESS: So, which of these three finalists will be the winner of Who wants to be Governor of California – The Debating Game? Stay tuned!

NARRATOR: The bus trip is over and Arnie’s staging his largest event yet – a march on Sacramento. Over 15000 people turn up outside the capitol building. Sharon’s hoping Capitol kitty’s in hiding …

BEARDED MAN WITH LOUDSPEAKER (SINGS): “Arnold wasn’t groping he was checkin em out!”

NARRATOR: But this is northern California where not everyone is an Arnold fan. The biggest rally is met with the biggest protest so far...

BEARDED MAN IN SUNGLASSES AND BASEBALL CAP: There’s the typical Arnold fan right there because of his movies. This is an embarrassment that he's even up here being able to take spot here on our state capitol ground. It’s terrible.

WOMAN (SINGS): “Hey Arnold whaddya say? How many women have you groped today?”

BEARDED MAN IN BASEBALL CAP: I want to be your Governor. Oooh nice one’s there!

ARNIE: Please bring me the broom. Please bring me the broom now. Yes, we are here, ladies & gentleman, to clean out. We are here to clean out. We are here to clean out, to sweep out the bureaucracy, we are here to sweep out the special interests. And we are here, number one, to sweep out Gray Davis. That’s what we’re gonna do. I know when I’ll come up here to Sacremento and I will take over this office, special interests are gonna go crazy because they know I am here to kick some serious butt.

NARRATOR: On the night before the election the Democrats make one final plea to the voters..

SPEAKER 1: No way. No on the recall. No on Arnold. Yes on Gray Davis!

JESSIE JACKSON: Vote anyhow! Vote anyhow! Vote no on recall

SHARON: My husband has never been accused of anything more serious than being dull. Wel,l right now, dull looks pretty good to me.

NARRATOR: Vote for my husband he’s dull was a never a slogan that was going to work...

GRAY: If you give me a chance to finish the term you elected me to, I’ll work with all my heart, all my soul, and all my strength to bring this state together and move us all forward together. And if we’re going to recall every Governor that has a deficit then lets recall all 47 governors, republicans and democrats, that went from surplus to deficit, and lets recall the President of the United States because he went from the biggest surplus to the biggest deficit.

CROWD: Recall Bush! Recall Bush! Recall Bush!

NARRATOR: Finally Judgement Day

MAN (To Mary Carey): Here’s your ballot.

MARY CAREY (Voting): This is so fun.

NARRATOR: Done, it all went on hole.

GAME SHOW FLOOR MANAGER: Here it comes standby in 7, 6, 5….

GAME HOSTESS: Our grand prize-winner with 37% of the vote is Mary Carey!

CHAIR: A giant cheque, Mary congratulations! From the Game-show network. You’ve done a fantastic job….She’s groping me! There’s groping going on here. Oh my God…

DARRELL ISSA : Well certainly I felt a tremendous amount of pressure but it was only internal. Some people call me the father of the recall. I don’t know if I’m the father or the big brother but what I do know is that the recall became the most important thing that I could contribute to the people of California. I needed it to be successful and I needed one consensus candidate.

ARNIE WINNING

ARNIE (to Maria): Thank you and I know how many votes I got today because of you. I will not disappoint you and I will not let you down.

NARRATOR: So celebrity, cash and the triumph of Arnold’s will have won out. But I’ve come away with mixed feelings. Arnold was the most charismatic candidate by far. But with Gray Davis only 3 months into his second term in office, this California Recall smacks of political retribution.

DARRELL ISSA: I feel great. I feel like democracy has really triumphed.

NARRATOR: But will the Governator really be able to bring California back? Or will his colourful past come back to haunt him in Total Recall the sequel? And remember what they say : ‘what California does today, the rest of America does tomorrow….’

GAMESHOW CHAIR: Congratulations to Arnold. Sorry Gray! We all had a lot of fun though didn’t we?

MARY CAREY: Oh my God so much fun. Let’s do it again next year.

CHAIR: We’ll do it again next year.

MARY CAREY: Four years. Four years.

MARILYN MONROE: I don’t know. I love the man. I think he’s really sexy but I don’t know for a politician. But, you know, maybe he might prove me wrong and actually do a good job … I don’t know.

ELVIS: If something goes wrong he can just terminate it. And if something goes wrong with him– we can terminate him.

RAMBO: Arnold for Governor and Rambo for President…..

Card

The first moves are being made
In Washington to enable
naturalised Americans, like Arnold,
to run for President.
© 2019 Journeyman Pictures
Journeyman Pictures Ltd. 4-6 High Street, Thames Ditton, Surrey, KT7 0RY, United Kingdom
Email: info@journeyman.tv

This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. For more info see our Cookies Policy